Total Drama Comeback
by The Kobold Necromancer
Summary: The original 22 contestants are back on Wawanakwa for another season. Who will win? What new friendships and love interests will form? Can Ezekiel survive, and will Izzy find the jellybean smuggler? Completed, official pairings and more.
1. Day 1, Part 1: The Campers Arrive

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, only sheer unbridled joy that I am allowed free writing. Bless you, First Amendment, haha. And don't try any of these stunts at home, you could get really messed up.

Note - This story takes place shortly after TDI. To all those avoiding spoilers, the winner of the Canadian version of TDI will not be announced. However, you might be able to guess if you read, but that's the price you pay. If it sounds stupid to you that the characters won't mention who won TDI, think of it as an alternate reality fusion where we have no clue who truly won.

Romantic Note - Yes, this story will carry on Trent & Gwen, Bridgette & Geoff, Duncan & Courtney, Tyler & Lindsay, Harold & Leshawna, and Owen & Izzy. Just who are the others supposed to make out with? You might be surprised, as well as who's still crushing on who. You might not.

Author's Quite Unnecessary Note That You More Than Likely Are Skipping Over - This story will contain parodies of songs for cheap entertainment. If you want to know why, it's because "Weird Al" Yankovic controls my iTunes.

Rating Warning - Contains some bad language but nothing too serious, semi-mild sexual references that can be really hot if you're into that kind of stuff, and violence. Loads and loads of violence, because these campers run the risk of getting really messed up.

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* * *

**Chapter 01 (Day 01, Part 1)** - Season 1.5: The Maclean Menace.

Six months had passed since the end of Total Drama Island. The ratings had soared, and the world couldn't get enough of the twenty-two campers who had risked their lives, as well as a fair share of dignity, stomach fluids, and, in some cases, respect.

Total Drama Action was set to take Canada and North America by storm; however, the waiting was too much for fans. Even with the promise of old faces along with the new, they clamored for more of the original.

Pretty soon, the studio caved in to the demand of first generation. Twisting some strings, they managed to rent the island they had used for the first season (Wawanakwa had become a tourist site with very little return business, due to the attacks from bears, sharks, and, oddly enough, ninjas).

Now the fun begins again, and the fans couldn't be more excited. What they, and probably no one could have guessed, was how this midseason (Season 1.5 as fans call it) would put the Drama in Total Drama.

Things haven't been going well for all of the contestants. National-wide broadcasted failure causes embarrassment, as one can imagine, but it went deeper for some. With that being said, it's time to inflict new wounds, reopen old ones, heal both, and hopefully survive and live happily until Season 2...

* * *

Chris Maclean stood on the Dock of Shame as per usual on Total Drama Island. He pulled down on his blue jacket, then performed his trademark grin for the one he loved most: the camera.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island," he shouted, the grin as loud as his voice. "Now we actually have two nicknames for this pre-TDA season. One is Total Drama Island v 1.5; that one is for you nerds, and you know who you are. The second nickname is Total Drama Comeback!

"In TDC, we will be seeing all twenty-two of the campers come back to Camp Wawanakwa. And of course, they will be competing once more. But we've thrown a little loop in for them.

"This time around, we will have not one, but two lucky winners on TDC! That's right, two of your favorite first generation campers are going to go home with the prize, so you have twice the chance your favorite will end up the supreme winner.

"The prize this time around is also a twofer. Both contestants will win 10,000 and a spot on Total Drama Action! They can be contestants, co-hosts, or even tend to the new contestants and torment them like they've been tormented!"

With a sadistic chuckle, Chris cracked his knuckles. "So while it's not actually 100,000, we still think it's worth it. After all, this is much more fan service than a real season, but hey! You're getting what you want, who cares what those finicky campers want?

"Now, we realize that not everyone has seen all of Total Drama Island yet. Even though I would love to spoil it and laugh in your horrified face, I don't have a camera on you like you on me. So, for the sake of keeping it spoiler-free, we're not going to say who won Total Drama Island, and the campers have signed contracts not to say who won either.

"Now for Total Drama Comeback to begin, and we'll see who makes a comeback! Bring back the campers!"

The first boat arrived, delivering a very angry face.

"Eva," Chris shouted, throwing his hands up as if to celebrate, "you are the first to arrive-"

The muscular girl grabbed Chris's collar and pulled his face to her's. "Spare me," she snarled, then walked down the Dock of Shame to be as far away from him as possible. She dropped her bag, which clanged on the wooden planks, broke them, and fell into the water.

"Um, right," Chris said, unnerved by the harsh treatment and the early destruction of the dock. "Well, no matter. Our next contestant is-"

He was once again grabbed at the collar by a ticked-off goth girl. "Chris Maclean, I swear by everything good and holy," Gwen hissed at him, "if you try to make me as miserable this time around, you will pay. You will feel my wrath! You will taste death and hope you receive more-"

"Okay, I get it, you'll bring the hurt," Chris shouted. Satisfied, Gwen walked over next to Eva, who had raised an eyebrow in approval.

"Sheesh, I hope this doesn't get to be a pattern," Chris complained.

He was then viciously attacked, as a large pair of arms wrapped around him, lifted him up and someone screamed right in his ear.

"Chris Maclean," Owen screamed, his smile just as large as ever, "I missed you! Did you miss me?"

"Oh, I was counting the days to see you again, Owen," Chris replied, his sarcasm missed by the lovable oaf.

After dropping the host, Owen went to hug Gwen, who politely returned it. He tried to hug Eva, but an evil glare made him scream and jump in the water.

Duncan jumped off his boat as it cruised by. He eyed the campers already there, then cracked his knuckles. "So, it looks like it's round two. Who wants to drop out now?"

"Fat chance, Duncan," Gwen replied, though she smirked in her reply. The young criminal cocked his pierced eyebrow in reply.

"Duncan, you sure know how to make a mean entrance," Chris said, patting the guy's shoulder. "I'm sure Courtney will be pleased to see you again, huh Mr. Tough?"

The delinquent looked annoyed by this remark, but Gwen saw his eyes sparkle a little.

"Oh, Rick," came the sweet voice of a certain young beauty. Lindsay walked on the Dock of Shame, rolling her suitcase behind her. "Did you miss me?"

"More than anyone else, beautiful," Chris said, pointing at her with a wink, "but it's _Chris_."

"Aww, did I get your name wrong again?" Lindsay looked almost devastated by this, then cheered up instantly. "Well, it won't happen again."

Gwen and Duncan didn't bother trying to hide their laughter.

The next boat dropped off Leshawna, who completely ignored Chris. The miffed host watched as the large lady went directly to hug Gwen, then high-fived Duncan.

"Hey, my homies, how's it been going?" she asked, eager to hear.

"Causing trouble," said Duncan.

"Avoiding trouble," said Gwen.

"Same as always then, huh?" Leshawna laughed, then grabbed Gwen's shoulders. "So tell me sweetheart, how are things with and your music man, huh?"

As Gwen stammered to reply, she was cut off by someone behind her. "Why don't I show you, Leshawna?"

The goth girl was spun around by firm but loving hands, and Trent's lips met hers. She swooned a little, then giggled when they parted. "Trent, we're on TV!"

"Didn't stop you the first time," he replied, grinning.

"This is too cute, ain't it?" Chris said to the camera, wiggling his eyebrows. "But I'll bet Cody won't like it so much."

"Won't like what?"

Cody, wearing a large backpack and carrying a laptop, was staring at Chris with a confused look. When the host simply pointed at Trent and Gwen, Cody shrugged and went over to his old teammates.

"How is it going for you, Cody?" Gwen asked, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

"Fine, Gwen, quite fine," he replied, grinning that sly (or at least he thought it looked sly) grin at her. "I see you and Trent are still getting along ju-uuuuuust fine."

Trent chuckled, putting his arm around Gwen. "And I hear you, Codster, have become quite the charmer since TDI was over!"

Cody looked very confused by this remark. "Um, what are you referring to?"

"Dude, don't play dumb," Duncan said, as he gave Cody a firm, manly slap on the back. "If anyone has become more admired by the ladies by TDI than me, it's you!"

The young man's perplexed look did not go away. Trent seemed startled by this. "Um, dude, you aren't aware?"

"Aware of you?"

"You playin' modest, playa' boy?" Leshawna asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"What _are _you all talking about?" Cody finally exclaimed. "I didn't exactly make headlines during the six months after the show, and I don't have a girlfriend."

As Cody tried to solve this mystery with his teammates, Katie and Sadie had arrived. They squealed when they saw the old campground, squealed when they saw Chris Maclean, and then squealed loudest when they saw Cody. Pouncing him like raging fangirls, Cody was almost squashed by Sadie.

"There's the handsome celebrity," the larger of the BFFFs shouted, pinching Cody's cheek.

"We should get a lock of his hair," Katie suggested, clasping hands with Sadie. "Wouldn't the girls back home be jealous?"

"Guys," Cody shouted, sitting up and throwing off the girls on his back in the process, "I don't know what you are talking about! Is this a joke?"

"No way, man," said Owen, who had come back on the dock soaking wet, and helped Cody back on his feet. He then handed Eva a soaking-wet bag. "Found it when I sank to the bottom, thought it was yours because of the weights sticking out of it."

As Eva grumbled a thanks, Cody waved his arms above his head. Then a orange 'n green leapt through the gap between his arms and landed in Owen's.

"Touchdown," Izzy shouted, wrapping her arms around Owen's neck. "The Izzys' win!"

"Say, Izzy," Chris said as he approached her, "are the RCMP still after you? We'd like to avoid legal matters if they are going to try to pick you up."

"They can try," Izzy said, her crazy grin spreading wide across her face, "oh-ho, they can try."

As she wrung her hands with a sinister cackle, Owen began kissing her cheek. Gwen was highly suspicious that Izzy's insane laughter and attitude was what turned Owen on to her, and this merely proved it.

DJ arrived next, and he had Bunny in one hand. Chris greeted him, and patted Bunny.

"I thought it would be okay to bring him," DJ asked, sounding hopeful.

"Dude, you're the one who took him from the island in the first place," Chris said with a laugh. "I had to fill out a ton of paperwork for just that lil' rabbit's transportation off the island."

"DJ," Duncan called out to his large friend, and they high-fived. "I hear you're seeing someone back in your home town, is that true, big guy?"

"Kinda."

"Human, right?"

"Of course, you nut," DJ laughed, playfully slugging Duncan's shoulder, "but still, I'm nowhere near the romantic as that guy over there!" He pointed at Cody, who let out a cry of frustration.

A ravenhaired beauty stepped off her boat, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed at the other contestants.

"Ah, it's the grand mistress of strategy herself," Chris said, pointing at her. "Heather, how is it going?"

"None of your **\****censored\** business," she replied, waving him off as she passed by him. Chris didn't seem phased by this harsh reply, and simply grinned more.

"Chef owes me 5 now," he said to the camera, "I bet she would be the first contestant to curse at me."

The ravenhair approached the other contestants, who had gathered around poor Cody. "Well well, if it isn't my old teammates surrounding around the one who has become more popular than them."

Gwen and Trent glared at her. Lindsay nervously tapped on her painted lips. Leshawna crossed her arms, but actually grinned at her most hated of all old teammates.

"Better to be a semi-famous sister than the most hated TV character over Scrappy Doo," she replied, snapping her fingers at Heather.

As the queen bee snarled at Leshawna, Owen tapped his fingers together nervously. "But I liked Scrappy Doo," he whimpered. "He was scrappy and cool."

Duncan suddenly twitched and looked over to the next boat. "If the hairs on the back of my neck are right," he shouted, grinning like a madman, "then the most demanding of all princesses is..."

"Courtney," Chris shouted, clapping his hands for the brunette as she gracefully stepped off her boat, "back to win this time, huh?"

"You'd better believe it, Mr. Maclean," she said, her voice steady but strong.

"I'd've thought you would be the hardest to convince to come back, to be honest," the host said, "but you were actually heading one of the petitions for this between-season season."

"It's to right a wrong from before," Courtney replied, scanning the crowd of contestants. Ignoring a smirking, waving Duncan, she looked around at Chris. "When Harold arrives, am I allowed to kill him?" "No, and don't worry, all votes this time will be by recorded confessions, so there will be no vote swapping."

"Fine. I still cannot believe you didn't correct that mistake when it was in clear violation of-"

"Princess!"

A pair of coarse hands grabbed her shoulders, and she was soon face to face with the smuggest face she'd ever faced. "Aren't you forgetting me?"

"How could I?" she said, a mix of annoyance and tease.

Cutting off the awkward flirting of the ying-yang couple was a loud holler from the next boat. "Dudes," was the loud cry of a familiar party animal, "I'm back!"

Many of the other contestants cheered loudly as Geoff leapt from his boat. He high-fived Chris, DJ, and Gwen, then rounded on Courtney and Duncan. "I see you two are still all over each other. Excellent, most excellent."

"What? No, ewww," Courtney shouted, pushing away from Duncan. She dusted herself off as if to remove Duncan-germs, as the delinquent chuckled. "On TV? Yuck! Geoff, don't encourage him!"

"So dudes, how's it going?" the wild guy asked the others. His eyes fell on Cody. "Whoa, it's the party animal himself!" He slung an arm around the very confused geek. "You must cause quite the commotion at parties, dude. Maybe if you and I are on the same team this time, we can rock the whole island."

"I haven't been to a party since grade school," Cody said feebly. "What is going on?"

"Hey, Geoff, where's Bridgette?" DJ asked his friend.

The cowboy looked as if someone struck him across the face. "Bridge?" he asked, slumping his shoulders and looking away. "Well see... the thing is... she... and me... umm..."

As he stammered, his friends began to look as upset as he was. DJ, Gwen, and Duncan understood the bad news before it was said.

Or at least, they thought they did, because he was just setting up a great entrance.

A loud blast of keyboard music startled everyone, and heads swung over in a collective motion towards the next of the boats heading for the dock. Harold, at the front, was rocking the keyboard, eyes closed like a professional. Towing behind the boat on a ski rope, riding her red 'n yellow surfboard and wearing her gray wetsuit, was Bridgette.

"That's my girl," Geoff shouted happily at the top of his lungs, startling everyone again.

Bridgette then leapt into the air, and landed gracefully on the Dock of Shame. With her surfboard propped under her right arm, she flashed a grin at Geoff. She then helped Harold down from the boat as the lanky teenager was a bit hampered by his luggage and keyboard.

"Harold, Bridgette," Chris said to both of the contestants, as he laughed and exclaimed, "that was the best entrance I've ever seen anyone make!"

"Thanks, Chris," Bridgette said, her lazy, green eyes sparkling with excitement. Harold merely nodded, and his attention was diverted by a certain tan-skinned girl approaching him, rolling up her sleeves. "Let me at him," she hollered. Geoff and Duncan managed to grab her from behind, and she was swinging at the thin air between her and Harold's keyboard, which he held in front of him as a shield.

"Gosh," was all Harold said, exchanging looks with Bridgette, "I didn't think she'd still be mad."

"I told you," Bridgette said, flipping her wet ponytail behind her. "Courtney said in every interview she was in that she still had revenge."

"Wow, and I thought my sister held a grudge the longest."

After Courtney calmed down enough to be let go, Geoff sprinted over to Bridgette, leaned the beautiful surfer chick back, and kissed her passionately. The crowd of contestants ooo'ed in appreciation, even Chris.

"Nice one, man," the host remarked.

"Thanks, dude," Geoff replied.

Leshawna, who felt the need to not be topped, grabbed Harold, lifted him off his feet (while he was still holding his luggage), and kissed him too. The crowd of contestants went wild, except for Courtney who fumed.

"Why are you dating him?" she snapped at Leshawna as if she had made a mistake. "He's a cheating scoundrel!"

"Oh, you're just bitter," Leshawna retorted after she set her man down. Harold let out a very happy sigh.

Courtney grabbed her head in frustration. "I have every right to be bitter! Why is he allowed back on this island? He broke the rules of the last contest!"

"Technically, there were no rules for switching the votes," Chris said, shaking a finger at Courtney. "If there had been, we would have done something about it. But we never made rules."

"That's so unfair and incredulous," Courtney ranted.

Heather patted the fuming C.I.T.'s shoulder. "Hon, it's best to let it go. Arguing with Chris over rules and what's fair is like bashing your head against a brick wall. Take it from someone who learned that hardest."

Courtney looked at Heather as if she was trying to solve a difficult mystery. She wondered what the ravenhair was up to, because she knew there was an angle to everything Heather did; there was no way she was just trying to be nice.

Everyone's attention was diverted when romantic music filled their ears. Standing on the bow of the next ship was the most attractive hunk that walked Canada. The model of gorgeous manliness known as Justin smiled at his teammates, and all the women, even those with boyfriends, swooned. Katie and Sadie both fainted, Eva sighed and leaned against a nervous DJ, and Owen swooned so much that he dropped his swooning girlfriend.

"Justin, just in," Chris said as he high-fived the male model. "You know, buddy, when I get tired of these shows (which I doubt I will, sorry), I agree with _Star Stalker_: you should try hosting the show!"

"Thanks, Chris," Justin replied in a rare speaking moment, "but I don't think I have the voice charisma like you do."

"You're too much," the host replied with a mocking wave of his hand.

"It's so good to see you, Justin," Owen replied, trying to stop himself from staring but failing miserably.

"Owen, good to see you too," Justin high-fived the big guy, which gave the very large blond a fit of giggles.

The handsome man scanned his former teammates until they rested on Cody. "Ah, my fiercest competitor," he said, patting Cody on the back in a friendly gesture. "Just to let you know, man, I'm a bit of a fan myself."

"Okay, that's it," Cody whimpered. He was now shaking and wringing his hands in fear. "Punk me now, pull the punch line, I can't take it! Just get it over with!!"

"What are you so hyped up about?" Gwen asked him.

"This whole routine," Cody shouted, waving his hands in front of the goth girl of his dreams, "this gag you're all pulling on me! I know I like to think of myself as a ladies' man, but there's no way I became one by all standards without knowing."

"You mean you don't know?"

Cody looked nervously at the next contestant, which was Noah. The know-it-all was looking at the geek with that "Dear-God-are-you-that-ignorant?" look that he had perfected.

"You've become quite the celebrity online," Noah continued. "How could you not know that you have a larger fangirl gathering than Duncan, Trent, and Justin combined?"

"Wha who and whazzah?" was Cody's reply.

"Cody, c'mon," Trent grabbed Cody by the shoulders and shook him gently. "Haven't you seen Deviant Art?" Cody shook his head. "Fanfiction Net?" Another shake of the head. "Surely you've browsed YouTube!"

"I... try to avoid YouTube about our season," Cody replied, and when Trent opened his mouth, he added, "and no, I don't really have a reason."

Noah shrugged. "Suit yourself, man. You avoid your own limelight and all the screaming girls, that's fine."

Lindsay, who had been staring blankly at all the conversations that had been going on, finally spoke up. "Well, Corey here may be a handsome, brave man," she said as she patted Cody's shoulders, "but you know, he's still not quite as cool as Taylor."

"Tyler," Gwen corrected the blond girl, rolling her eyes. "Might want to get that down before you greet him."

"Speaking of which," Chris said, raising his voice, "here... he... comes..."

The host's voice died as he saw the jock step off his boat. Tyler was no longer wearing the red sports jersey that he had worn like a second skin during Total Drama Island. Instead, he was wearing a cheap Hawaiian shirt, and a plain pair of jeans. Though he was wearing his red headband, some of the contestants had to look twice to make sure it was really him.

"T... Tyler?" Lindsay stammered, her baby blue eyes widening. Her mouth dropped, and her little brain was working overtime, trying to conclude if this really was him.

"Lindsay," he said, his voice far calmer than the wild sports fan they all knew. He approached her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "How have you been? You look incredible!"

"Um... thanks," Lindsay was used to hearing that. It would have meant more coming from Tyler, but she couldn't come to a solid conclusion on whether this was him or not.

"I'm sorry I lost contact with you. Family issues, you know how that can be," Tyler said with a weak chuckle, shrugging his shoulders.

"Dude."

Chris was tapping Tyler's shoulder, and he didn't stop until Tyler let go of Lindsay, who backed away a little nervous.

"Dude," the host repeated, "where is your jersey?"

"What?" Tyler reacted as if Chris had asked him a bizarre question. "Dude, I just didn't want to wear that again. What, you think I wear the same thing for every day of my life, that'd I wear it for the entire show?"

"I did that," Owen said with a large grin. "I'm wearing that shirt now, for good luck!"

"That explains the smell," Duncan said with a groan.

"Seriously dude, what happened?" Chris asked Tyler, getting close to his face. The jock frowned, and shoved the host away from him.

"Nothing happened to me," he shouted, fury in his eyes. "Can we start the damn competition now?"

"Not everyone is here yet," said Harold, timid.

"Who's left?"

"Me, for one!"

A green 'n purple-clad blur went around, hugging people in rejoice. The blur stopped when it came near Heather.

"Oh hello," lisped the young girl. "I see your hair ith back. That's a shame, I liked the roadkill."

"Beth," Heather replied, not looking at the shorter girl, "still a lisping dweeb like you were 'thix' months ago."

"Yeah, you act tho thmug, but there's no way you're winning this time," Beth snapped at Heather. "Everyone knows the real you."

"Whoa, when you did you get to be this harsh?" Cody asked aloud.

When Cody spoke, Beth whirled around with an overjoyed smile on her face. She launched herself at him, hugging him so tight around the waist that she nearly cut off his air supply.

"Cody! It's tho incredible to see you again! I mean, now that you're a celebrity," she cried out, snuggling her cheek against his chest. "The girls at my school were _tho_ jealous that I got to kiss you!"

"Wait, you kissed Beth?" Gwen asked Cody, a sly grin spreading across her face. "When did _this_ happen?"

Cody would have replied, but Beth's hug was too tight. When she did let go, he merely wheezed for air. He didn't mind Beth hugging him, just that he wished she hadn't almost killed him in the process.

"Well then, there's only one camper remaining, and I think," Chris said as she gestured to the final boat to approach the Dock of Shame, "that there he comes now!"

The boat stopped in front of the dock, but no contestant departed from it. The twenty-one campers, Chris, and Bunny all stared at the boat in anticipation, but still no one was leaving it. Finally, they heard some voices from inside the cabin.

"My job is to make sure you exit on this island, kid!"

"I'm not going, you take me back!"

"No!"

"Yes, ehhhhh-yaaaaaaaaaah!"

Ezekiel was sent sprawling backwards from a harsh shove that knocked him out of the cabin, over the railing, and onto the Dock of Shame with a painful crash. He sat up long enough to be hit on the head with a golden necklace.

"And don't forget your cheap bling, you twerp," the boat driver shouted before speeding off.

Ezekiel stood up all the way now, and waved his fists at the boat. "Get back here, dickweed! I am _not_ staying here, do you hear me?"

"Oh yes, you are," Chris exclaimed with sadistic joy as he thumped Ezekiel on the back. "There there, I'm sure you won't be voted off first again. Though I cannot promise that!"

Ezekiel glared at Chris with a hatred that almost surpassed one of Eva's; it startled most of the other contestants.

The prairie boy softened up when the host stepped away from him. He let out a sigh and pocketed the golden Z necklace. "Well, if there is no way to escape the inevitable," he said, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes under his toque, "can we begin, eh?"

* * *

"Now things are going to be a bit different, people," Chris announced to the campers as soon as they were sitting down at the bonfire site.

"Campers will be divided into different teams after every marshmallow ceremony. So it's best not to make your opponents too mad at you, because they might be the one holding the rope that supports you over the snake pit!"

As he laughed, more than half the campers exchanged terrified looks. That sounded relatively similar to what they had done six months ago.

"You will be taking part in at least one contest before the voting ceremony. The losing team will be the ones sending a poor, losing, defeated soul home. And don't be surprised if the teams are as large as half the campers, or as small as two people per team."

Beth shot her hand up and wiggled her fingers. "Um, Chrith? How can you vote thum'one off your team if you only have two members?"

"Ah, an excellent question, Beth! You get a cookie," he produced a chocolate chip cookie out of thin air and threw it to her. Beth grinned in joy, then split it in half and gave the bigger half to Owen, who was sitting right next to her; she felt almost obligated, because he had big puppy eyes, was whimpering and panting, and had been staring at the cookie since it was produced.

"To answer Beth's question, when the teams are divided up in far smaller numbers than would be conventional to have them decide the loser, the team or teams with the best performance will get to choose who gets voted off from the losing team."

He cackled again and rubbed his hands together. "It's time to see who enjoys playing God, merciful or spiteful." "Like Greek mythology, this'll be," Noah said, smirking a little at his comparison. "Owen would be Zeus; Heather is Hera; Geoff is Dionysus; DJ is Artemis; Trent is Apollo; Lindsay is Aphrodite; and Duncan is Ares."

"Interesting, Noah," said Chris with a click of tongue. "Who am I?"

"Hades."

Chris laughed. "Thank you!"

Noah raised an eyebrow at this. "_Somehow I thought he would be, at the least, miffed by that. Not a good sign._"

The host chuckled a little more before throwing his hands up in the air. "Well then, denizens of Hell, you are going to be split into teams. For the sake of old times, and that I don't have to put up with memorizing who's on what team again, you're going to be with your old teammate! Screaming Gophers on the right, Killer Bass on the left."

The twenty-two campers scurried to their appropriate sides. Harold and Tyler waved good-bye to their girlfriends as they had to head over to the Killer Bass.

"Good, your first challenge will be announced... now," Chris laughed at his own lame joke. "You all remember the talent show from your fourth challenge of TDI?"

"How could they forget?" Noah remarked. "What was more memorable? Bridgette splattering everyone with regurgitated chips, Heather winning a non-score because she preferred to read aloud Gwen's obvious crush, or," he laughed, "my favorite, the Screaming Gophers cheering for Harold, the winner of the other team?"

His smirk quickly diminished when he earned a fair share of glares from both teams. He sighed and said, "Oh come on, can't you people learn to laugh at yourselves? Helps with humility!"

Chris smirked and crossed his arms. "Careful Noah, you know what a cynical attitude can bring. If you really want to talk smack, use the confession outhouse!" 

* * *

**(Confession Camera - In high-definition low-budget.)**

Noah - "This is the pits, just like aforementioned Hades. I'm stuck with the same humorless stuck-ups like back then. Well, what-ever! I can still win this if Chris actually throws some intelligence into this game. ... Though I doubt it."

Izzy - "Noah gets on my nerves at times. He's so smug and arrogant, and I think he's smuggling illegal jelly beans into Camp Wawanakwa. There's in his book, I'm sure of it."

Owen - "I think Noah really needs a hug. We all can use hugs." 

* * *

"Continuing on what the most important person here was saying," Chris said, thumping his chest lightly, "we are going to have Talent Night 2: Revenge of the Performers!"

"AWESOME," Owen shouted, pumping his fists into the room. He looked around at his teammates. "Can I perform? Please o' please o' please! I can belch the theme song from the first season now!"

"Ewwww," was the reply from most of the girls and Noah. Izzy bounced up and down from one foot to another and asked him to do it now.

"No no, Owen," replied Chris, shaking a finger at the big guy. "This time, each team will have four performers, but also!"

He paused for a few seconds, and before anyone (in particular Gwen or Heather) demanded he get to the point, he finished his sentence. "... Also, the four contestants from each team will be picked by ME!"

The moaning that followed was music to Chris's ears. "Oh c'mon, you party-poopers. It's not like I'm going to pick the talent that your teammates will be performing. That's entirely up to you all."

"Some relief at last," Courtney muttered. Duncan and Bridgette nodded in agreement.

"Now for the Screaming Gophers," Chris went over to them, standing in line as if to judge them, "I think you'd all like Noah to see him put his money where his mouth is! So he can be one of your four contestants."

Noah's eyes went wide as most of his teammates grinned sinisterly at him; Heather dragged a finger across her neck and Izzy cackled as she peeked through the pages of the egghead's book.

"Fine by me," Noah said, slamming his book shut; a sly grin spread across his face as Izzy backed off.

"And because I know you're all going to hate this," Chris continued, and pointed at a certain blond bombshell, "Lindsay!"

"No," shouted Heather.

"Kewl," Lindsay clapped and cheered.

"Oh, but Lindsay, you cannot use looking pretty as a talent," Chris interjected.

The young beauty's face collapsed. "I'm doomed, aren't I?"

"Also, Gwen, you'll be performing," Chris said to the gothic girl. She narrowed her eyes, but made no other protest.

"And last but not least, the ladies' man of unsurpassed popularity (and I must say, I am a wee bit jealous), Cody!"

Cody flushed as Chris, of all people, complimented him. He looked at his teammates and gave them his signature pointing pose. "Consider them wowed in their seats."

Trent was smiling and patting both Gwen and Cody on the back. "I'm sure you two will be great."

Chris then headed over to the Killer Bass, and grinned maliciously at Tyler. "Dude, you sure have changed most out of everyone here. I think you'll be my first pick." The athlete merely smiled and nodded. Courtney slapped her forehead in disgust; she remembered how pathetic Tyler's skills were back then.

"And Bridgette," Chris said, standing in front of the blond surfer, "I think it'd be cool if you got a second chance. Just no hand standing this time."

Bridgette blushed and ran a hand through her ponytail. "Um, okay. Hey, does it have to be on the stage, out of curiosity?"

"We have a screen for the stage, and a portable camera that can be used to project what you're doing from anywhere on the isle. You'll need someone to hold that camera, and it'll appear on the screen on the stage. And since I know what you're thinking of, yes, surfing is allowed."

Bridgette beamed at Chris, and high-fived her boyfriend.

Chris walked by all the Killer Bass again, studying them. He stopped in front of the BFFFs. "Katie, you will be my third choice." Before the tan-skinned girl could open her mouth, Chris added, "_Without_ Sadie. Talent Night 2: Revenge of the Performers is a one-man show."

Katie and Sadie both looked as if they had been smacked hard.

"And finally, why don't we have," Chris stopped in front of Ezekiel and ruffled his toque, "Ezekiel, Mr. Woman Hater himself, be the final performer? I'm sure he'll has some talents, just ask his mom."

"What?!" the prairie boy shouted, throwing his fists up in indignant rage. "What do you mean by that, eh?" Chris cackled as he walked away. "Remember your TDI audition tape?

"So then, we have our eight competitors," Chris announced towards the camera. "Tomorrow afternoon, we will see Lindsay, Bridgette, Noah, Katie, Cody, Tyler, Gwen, and Ezekiel try to entertain the masses, or at the least, their teammates!

"What on earth will some of them be doing? Will the Killer Bass win like last time? Will Noah and Lindsay's performances even be worth watching? Will Katie survive being separated from her best friend for, like, two minutes?

"The answers to all this and more will be revealed next time on Total Drama Comeback!"

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Better to watch through than the Seat.)**

Leshawna - "I wonder if was selecting people because he thought they'd be interesting, or just wanted the people he'd thought would be best to laugh at. Creep."

Owen - "Chris wasn't hugged enough when he was a kid, I think. Maybe I should hug him every day I'm on the island! I'm sure he'd appreciate it!"

Gwen - "Do I even have to say it? Seriously, this might hurt more than last time. Reopened wounds normally do."

Harold - "I wonder if Courtney would accept an apology from me. I'll try to do so before the contest. That is, if she doesn't kill me first."

Ezekiel - "... I. Am not. Staying. Here." 

* * *

**Continued in Part 2.**

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Day 01 will be divided into several parts. Please take comfort in the fact that this will bring you more of all twenty-two characters before one gets booted off. Buahaha.

Oh, and I apologize for the confusion with the sentences combined. Stupid documents just won't upload, and I have to go over every document with a fine-tooth comb.


	2. Day 1, Part 2: Killer Bass Bash

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, only sheer unbridled joy that I am allowed free writing. Bless you, First Amendment, haha. And don't try any of these stunts at home, you could get really messed up.

Author's Quite Unnecessary Note That You More Than Likely Are Skipping Over - You are more than welcome to cheer for the jock, the blond, the goth, the prairie boy, the know-it-all, the surfer chick, the geek, and/or the best female friend, you are more than welcome.

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* * *

**Chapter 02 (Day 01, Part 2)** - Talent Night, Weird Night

"Okay campers," Chris exclaimed, raising his hands up in the air for dramatic effect. "You have tonight, and tomorrow morning to prepare for the Talent Night 2: Revenge of the Performers! Now, have you all decided what you are going to do?" Courtney and Heather, the self-appointed leaders of the two groups, nodded. Heather gestered over to Gwen, who was turned three-fourths away from the camera but still glaring at it.

"Weird Goth Girl is going to do be doing poetry," the ravenhaired girl said. "That should be interesting, which is what you're aiming for, huh Chris?"

"Possibly," the host said with a nod. "How about Lindsay?"

"I," the blond spoke up, cutting off Heather, "am gonna do cheerleading!"

"You're _what_?" Heather shouted, flabbergasted.

Lindsay looked around at her, perplexed. "What? Is that bad?"

"No, I...," the queen bee cleared her throat, "I think it's a perfect fit."

Chris cocked his head to the side. "Okay then, how about Cody?"

"Keyboard," Cody shouted, flashing two V's in the air and wooting. He headbanged a little.

"Okay, lover boy, but you probably shouldn't sing," Chris said, trying hard not to chuckle. "I saw your audition tape."

"Well, I couldn't warm up, 'cuz of my dad," the geek said, looking away.

"And Noah?" Chris looked very anxious, he was rubbing his hands in anticipation.

The know-it-all barely looked up from the book he was reading. He seemed more concerned with how Izzy kept peering over his shoulder at his book.

"Shakespeare," he replied.

"Oh, that should be interesting," Chris said, though his laughter as he walked over to the Killer Bass said otherwise.

Noah rolled his eyes, and thumbed through his book. "And you people wonder why," he said aloud, swatting at Izzy absent-mindedly, "I don't try my hardest to win these things."

"Well, it would be nice if you would," Beth said timidly.

"Beth dear, what good will it do in the end? The challenges get more and more degrading and dangerous, until by the end of this contest, he'll have us eating live bugs over an active volcano."

Leshawna slapped a hand over his mouth suddenly. "You'll give him ideas," she hissed.

Chris was now talking to the Killer Bass, who looked more than a little disorganized. Katie was close to hyperventilating and Sadie was desperately trying to calm her down. Duncan was mercilessly flirting with Courtney, who was yelling at him to stop. DJ was chasing after Bunny, who was anxious to get away from all the hostile noise.

"So you are doing surfing, right?" he asked Bridgette, the most sane member (in his eyes) that wasn't arguing with someone.

The blond gal nodded, smiling despite the screaming. "Geoff will be standing on the Dock of Shame to use the camera."

"What if there is no surf?" Chris asked. "Be kind of a let-down if your waves are smaller than speed bumps on the road." "I can do plenty of tricks without any waves," Bridgette replied as she knocked on her surfboard. "You learn these things you hit the beaches and there are no waves."

"Cool," Chris replied, glad that there was a back-up plan. "Now, how about Katie?" "She said something about dancing before she, um," Geoff said, scratching the back of his head. He gestered with his elbow at Katie, who was now lying on the grass, whimpering as Sadie yelled at her to stay away from the light.

After Chris stopped laughing, he looked back to the blond couple. "How about Tyler?"

"I think he'll be doing yo-yo, he said he was practicing," Bridgette replied, shrugging. "Which is preferable, since it's hard to do sports as a talent on-stage." "Maybe Wii Sports," Geoff suggested, chuckling at the idea. He swung his arm like if it was a golf club. "Fore! Mario scores hole in one!"

Chris looked around. "And prairie boy, what's he doing? Not archery, I hope." "Oh, I dunno actually," Geoff said, looking around. "I don't remember him telling us."

"Where is he?" Bridgette asked aloud, now a little concerned. Her ponytail whipped around as she searched for Ezekiel.

Where he was was almost incredulous. Ezekiel was sitting at the end of the Dock of Shame, his legs dangling over the edge. He was staring at the horizon, in the direction the boats that delievered them.

"Is he surrendering already?" Chris asked hypothetically. "You think he doesn't like it here?"

Geoff and Bridgette both headed over to the Dock of Shame. Harold, who had been watching them since Courtney was too busy having the usual lover's tiff with Duncan, couldn't help but stare.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Now with more annoying flies.)**

Harold - "People seem surprised that Ezekiel doesn't want to be here. Last time he was here, he was throttled, dashed off the rocks, and voted off first. Would you like to return to that place? I don't think even his modern-day bling is enought to comfort him." 

* * *

Bridgette and Geoff walked up behind Ezekiel on the dock. He heard them coming, and tried to ignore them.

"Hey, Zeke," Geoff spoke up, clapping his hands, "whacha' doin' out here? You planning on your performance?"

"I'm not doing anything, eh," was the home schooled boy's reply.

This shocked Geoff, who wasn't expecting such a negative response. "Um... wha?"

Ezekiel drummed his fingers on the dock impatiently. "I refuse to let Chris make me his puppet, eh."

"Ezekiel, come on," Bridgette said, tapping her foot. "You cannot back out just because you don't feel like it."

But he wasn't listening anymore. Geoff and Bridgette exchanged looks, and the cowboy shrugged.

"Is he cooperating?" Chris called to them.

When they shook their heads, Chris cocked an eyebrow.

* * *

As Chef held up Ezekiel by one leg in front of the Killer Bass, Harold was fairly impressed how the prairie boy's toque wouldn't fall off his head.

"You just won't take 'no' for an answer, will you?" Ezekiel fumed, crossing his arms.

"Why don't you grow up, you immature dweeb?"

Ezekiel scanned the legs of his ten teammates. "Who said that, eh?" he asked. "C'mon, who's the one who said that?"

"Me, you idiot! Courtney!"

"Hmm? Oh right, C.I.T. girl. Sorry, I don't have voices memorized yet," the homeschooled teen shrugged. "Oh, and DJ, your shoelace is untied." Chef then dropped Ezekiel, who hit his head on the grassy ground. Some sense of balance kept Ezekiel positioned there, standing on his head without using his hands. It looked ridiculous, especially since he was still looking sulky.

"Look, Ezekiel, I don't care how much you don't want to do this, but we are not, I repeat _not_ going to lose because you don't like being here," Courtney continued. Most of the others were nodding in agreement, except for Harold and DJ, the latter because he was busy tying his shoe.

Ezekiel put his hands on the ground, and pushed himself down on his back. With a grunt, he got back on his feet, shook off the dizzy feeling from having the blood rush to his head, and then scowled at Courtney.

"I mean, we are at a bit of a downside already. I have no idea what you could do to for a talent," Courtney continued, much to Ezekiel's chagrin, "Katie is having a nervous break-down since she cannot be with Sadie, and we know we cannot count on Tyler winning this."

"Hey!"

The C.I.T. did not lose a beat, despite the jock's outcry. "So we need you, as difficult as this may seem, to mature a little and be a man for this."

The prairie boy shuffled his toque, trying desperately to hold back what he wanted to say; however, Tyler had no desire to hold back what he wanted to say.

"No seriously, what the hell?" Tyler shouted, clentching his fists. "You don't see me for six months, and the first thing you do is trash talk me? And not even to my face?"

"Not now, Tyler," Courtney growled at him, throwing him a side glare as she turned back to Ezekiel.

Tyler's jaw dropped, then he glared right back at her. "Don't talk to me like that, I'm not your child! Who made you boss, anyway?"

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Interrupting the tension to annoy you.)**

Bridgette - "This was getting ugly, fast. I could almost sense the bloodshed."

Duncan - "Courtney may be right about Ezekiel and Tyler, but her way of going around is that snooty C.I.T. image she throws up when she tries to be the boss. It's kind of hot, if you ask me."

Tyler - "I would have put down money that, in next three sentences she said, she would mention that she was had C.I.T. experience." 

* * *

"Why am _I_ boss?" Courtney shouted at Tyler, now turning completely to him. "Do we have to go over this, Tyler? I am a counselor in training!"

Several eyes rolled. Some owners' of those eyes wondered when she would finally fully become a counselor.

Tyler sniffed deeply and shrugged. "Whatever. That means little to me. You're not my coach or anything."

The tan-skinned girl gasped indignantly. "What kind of reply is that? What, you think I should let you run around like a chicken with your head cut off?"

Several jaws dropped, one of them Tyler's, as the C.I.T. mentioned the jock's phobia. He shook with fury for a few seconds, hissing air in through his teeth. He might have looked a bit more intimidating if he wasn't wearing a cheap hawaiian shirt.

"You really aren't in the right position to take a shot at him there, eh," said Ezekiel. His eyes were narrowed at Courtney. "I didn't see you conquering your phobia in that challenge."

"You stay out of this, Ezekiel," Courtney shouted at him, pointing at the angry prairie boy.

The Screaming Gophers were staring at the Killer Bass now, alarmed by how the other team was yelling at each other not ten minutes into the first challenge.

"He's right," Tyler shouted. "You want to talk green jelly, Ms. C.I.T.?"

"In fact, you were pretty much useless up until you got kicked off, eh," Ezekiel said. The mental dam that stopped him from saying what truly was on his mind had broken.

The Killer Bass gasped collectively. Duncan snarled and cracked his knuckles. "Take that back, you toque-wearing rat."

"No, I won't," Ezekiel retorted. "What did she ever accomplish? She didn't jump the cliff in the first challenge, she didn't face her phobia, she didn't let Harold audition for the talent show, and she dropped out of Chef's boot camp training at the last challenge."

"Not to mention she was almost giving people dirty looks when she wasn't doing any better than them," Tyler added, nodding fervently.

"Why do we have to listen to you when you don't accomplish anything?" Ezekiel continued. His face was almost red with anger while Courtney's was. "It actually helped the Killer Bass when you were kicked off, because they didn't have to put up with all your nagg-"

A tan fist plowed into his nose, cutting him off short. Blood spurted from Ezekiel's nostrils. After the shock passed, he pinched his nostrils shut but it wasn't enough to stop the leaking.

Bridgette was shouting at Courtney to stop as her friend pulled her fist back to hit Ezekiel again. The C.I.T. was restrained by Geoff, who tried to calm her down with his usual fight-breaking words. None of them noticed Duncan had moved forward and it caught everyone, especially Ezekiel, off-guard when the ex-prisoner kicked the prairie boy right in his sensitive area.

Now everyone in the Killer Bass was shouting and running around. DJ and Bridgette were holding back Duncan, who was shouting things at Ezekiel that had to be bleeped out. Courtney was fighting to get away from Geoff, her fingers extended like claws. Katie and Sadie ran around in a panic, screaming about blood and violence and how horrid it all was.

Heather watched all this, watched as Ezekiel fall on all fours with blood dripping from his nose, watched as the team had to restrain not one but two members, and she laughed. She couldn't stop herself.

"And to think I was worried when we were going to be with the same people," she said aloud, casting a look over at her fellow Screaming Gophers. "The Killer Bass look ready to kill each other."

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Where there's normally enough room for one.)**

Bridgette - \She holds her head and shakes it, as if trying to keep out bad thoughts.\ "I cannot believe what happened back there! It was a madhouse! When I dreamed of being reunited with my teammates, I was hoping it would be pleasent. At the least, no broken noses!"

Harold - "Gosh. I don't think Courtney is going to be accepting an apology from me anytime soon. I'd like to stay in one piece for when I am reunited with Leshawna."

Leshawna - "Did you _see_ the way that girl was swinging at that white boy? It was like sum'min you'd have ta pay-per-view!"

Geoff - "Why can't we be friends?"

DJ - "Can't we all just get along?" 

* * *

Ezekiel sat on the Dock of Shame with a bandage over his nose. He propped his head up with his hand, staring up at the sky. He wished he was on that big, bright moon right now, up away from all these people who couldn't stand him.

From a distance, Courtney and Duncan were casting angry glances at him. Bridgette finally grew tired of this, and approached them.

"Look you two, it isn't helping our team's morale that a fistfight has already broken out," she said, narrowing her green eyes at them. "If we're going to win this, we have to stay-"

"Save it, Malibu Barbie, I've had enough lecturing for today," Duncan cut her off. "I'm gonna go to bed. Good luck rehearsing for tomorrow."

"Me too," Courtney replied, shooting one more angry glance at Ezekiel, Tyler, then one at Harold just as a reminder before she stormed off to the girls' side of the Killer Bass cabin.

Bridgette let out a moan, covering her face with her hands. She was startled when she heard laughter, and was more startled when she realized it was Eva.

"This is poetic justice," Eva said, smiling wickedly. "You all kick me off the island twice because you think I have anger management issues, and I wasn't even involved in the first fight at our reunion."

She walked off laughing, the cruel noise almost fraying Bridgette's last nerve. "_She thinks that we _think_ she had anger management issues?_" Bridgette was at her wits' end. If ever she needed a hug, it was now.

With well-developed boyfriend senses, Geoff wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind. "It's okay, Bridge. I think they're all just letting out some steam."

"You could power a train out of the steam that was generated here," the surfer chick said with a sigh. She leaned back onto Geoff's chest. "I wish I had your ability to stay calm when all around was chaos, like you, Geoff."

"It's only because I don't fully grasp the dire situation I'm in until it's too late," Geoff said with a chuckle. "Man though, Ezekiel and Courtney had some rage in their cage, didn't they?"

Harold, who overheard this, approached them. "I thought Ezekiel was content with his popularity," he remarked, jerking his thumb towards the Dock of Shame. "Wasn't he happy at the Plaza de Losers?"

"A little too happy," Bridgette remarked with an unexpected chuckle. Looking back on how Ezekiel kept trying to get near her then scrambling off when she looked his way was annoying then, but funny now.

"Poor prairie boy's got no experience with other guys," Geoff said, sounding poetic, "and they keep thrusting him back him."

"It doesn't jusitfy how he fired off at Courtney, though."

"Or why Tyler was so mad," Harold remarked, scratching his head. "He sure is different than last time, isn't he?"

"Cha," Geoff said, nodding at Harold. "I wonder what happened. He used to be this entergetic sports fan, now he's got a massive chip on his shoulder."

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Seeing more rage than you care for.)**

Courtney - "If that sexist little pig from a pig farm says one more word to me-"

Duncan - "... or if he makes one more snide remark about Courtney-"

Tyler - "... or acts like she is the boss over me, or gives me one more haughty, stuck-up sneer-"

Courtney - "... he is..." 

Tyler - "... so going to regret it..."

Duncan - "... because I'll kick the living..."

Courtney - "... tar and feather him..." 

Tyler - "... with a duck and a rotting block of cheese..."

Duncan - "... and then I'll do the same to that wannabe-jock..."

Courtney - "... who is absolutely useless..." 

Tyler - "... in everything she does..."

Duncan - \makes chicken noises\ 

Courtney - "... and as much as I like how Duncan came to defend my honor..."

Tyler - "... that mega-sleeze that forced his way into being her boyfriend, if you can call him that..."

Courtney - "... I don't need his help in defending myself!"

Duncan - "... because no one insults Princess except me!"

Tyler - "... that thieving cretin and Ms. C.I.T.-That's-Me!"

Courtney - "... and that goes double for Harold!"

Harold - \long sigh\

* * *

Heather clapped her hands to catch the attention of her team. "Okay now. I know a lot of you don't think much of me-"

A chorus of "yeah," "damn right," and "tho true" arose.

"However," Heather said through gritted teeth, "we should focus on winning this first challenge. It shouldn't be that hard, the Killer Bass look ready to tear each other apart."

Owen raised his hand, very very slowly.

"Yes, Owen?"

"Um, since I'm not participating in the contest or anything... can I go to bed?"

"Yes. In fact, I suggest everyone who isn't performing or helping someone perform tomorrow, go get some sleep. We all know how much Chris loves to wake us up early."

"Whoop-dee-doo, back to the moldy sheets," muttered Leshawna.

"The cockroaches," Beth said with a whimper.

"The hole in the wall that allowed you to see in the other side of the cabin!"

Everyone stared at Owen, the girls quite unfriendly. The gentle giant stared blankly, then realized the amount of trouble he was in.

"Ummm, for the girls to use only?"

He was chased back by the Leshawna, Beth, and Heather. Slamming the door shut, he pushed on it to avoid the girls' wrath.

"Let uth in, Owen," Beth hollered.

"No! You'll kill me so bad, it'll hurt more than anything I've ever felt!"

"We're not going to kill you, big guy," Leshawna tried to assure him as she pounded on the door, "we just want in our room!"

"Huh?" was all Owen could say.

"You barricaded yourself in the girls' side!"

Cody watched all this with a wide grin. He caught a glance at Gwen glaring at him.

"Don't look at me, I didn't know there was a hole in the wall," he said.

"Ri-iiiiiiiight." "Gwen, I'm a lot of things, but do you really think I'd sink that low?"

"You're a teenage boy, Cody. I don't think there is a bar to set in the first place."

Cody shrugged. If Gwen wasn't going to believe him, there was little he could do to change that. "If you say so. Ready for tomorrow?"

"No, not really. I need to come up with some poetry."

"And I need to think of a great tune to play. Hey, Noah," Cody swung around to the intelligent guy, "you have any idea which play and act you're going to do?"

"Since I'm sure most of the people here are as familiar with Shakespeare as they are with advanced nuclear physics," the tan-skinned boy said, rolling his eyes as usual, "I'll do the most known of them all."

" 'O Romeo, romeo, wherefore art are thou, Romeo?'" Gwen asked, unable to resist. When she raised an eyebrow and grinned, she made Cody swoon inside.

"Very funny, Gwen," Noah replied, cynical as always but sounded a little amused. "No, it's going to be GET OFF!" Noah began swatting at Izzy, who was now over Noah's shoulder, turning the pages of his book. She licked her thumb and turned one more page before the egghead could push her away.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - You'll see more of it as more of it is seen..)**

Noah - "Sometimes I really wonder what goes through that girl's mind. Then I get up and walk around until the feeling goes away."

Izzy - "Hmmm. Didn't taste any cherry, watermelon, or grape. Maybe I'm wrong about the illegal jelly beans being in his book. Perhaps in his hair, behind his ears."

* * *

Most everyone had gone to bed after another hour. The only ones who hadn't were Cody, who was on the talent show stage and pretending that an audience large enough for Pearl Jam was there; Tyler, who was getting out of the Confessional Can after a long rant; Trent and Gwen, who were discussing poetry and swapping ideas; Ezekiel, who was still sitting on the Dock of Shame; Noah, who was reading a copy containing Shakespeare's greatest plays; and Izzy, who was picking at Noah's hair and getting swat for it.

Tyler was about to go to bed when he spotted Ezekiel, his back shadowed by the moonlight but still a recognizable figure considering his toque. Deciding now would be the best chance to get to know the guy he never really got a chance to, he headed over.

Ezekiel turned around slowly when he heard the footsteps on the dock. "Oh, hi, Tyler."

"What's up, man?" Tyler said casually, squatting down next to the prairie boy. To which, the prairie boy looked up at the midnight sky.

"Well, the stars aren't really bright tonight."

There was a pause, then Ezekiel started laughing, and Tyler knew he was kidding. After laughing himself, the two were silent. It was awkward but peaceful, since the water lightly rippled against the beams of the dock.

Ezekiel flicked a splinter into the water. "Do you remember," he asked, "when you had to walk this dock, the first time around?" Tyler nodded, sitting down with a sad sigh. "Was a really rotten day for me. I've lost some big games, but I felt like I lost the biggest one that day."

"I still couldn't believe it when I had to walk it, eh," Ezekiel stared up at the moon as he spoke, "I don't even... remember it. Is that weird?"

"Whacha mean, dude?"

"Well, I think it was a combination of shock and surreal disbelief, eh. When Chris told me to walk that dock, I just felt my body walk forward, staring down at the ground."

Tyler nodded. He actually knew exactly knew how that felt. He remembered concentrating on the planks of the dock to ignore the taunts of his teammates.

"Then I was on that boat, and I watched the island go away. All that time, I kept thinking, 'This cannot be happening. I cannot have been kicked off the first day.' "

The jock nodded more, resting his head on his fist. He had actually wished his boat ride had been that calm; the thought of all those chickens, which he was certain to this day was a cruel joke of Chris's, had left him a quivering mess when he reached the resort.

"When I got to the resort, it was still an out-of-body experience. It had been ever since Chris called out Courtney's name instead of mine."

Exhaling loudly, the prairie boy looked over at Tyler. "Still kind of felt like that when I watched you guys on the TV they had there. Like I was... no, it's too weird."

"Go on, tell me, dude," Tyler said, patting Ezekiel's shoulder. "I promise I won't laugh."

"Well, it was like... it was like as if I was watching my life, the way it was unfolding. Only... I wasn't there."

He clentched his fist, as if to grasp this difficult feeling. "I was on that island, trying to stay awake for days on end, but I wasn't. I was camping out in the wild with you guys, sharing stories and misfortunes, but I wasn't there. I was paintballing and cooking and racing with you all, but I wasn't there.

"It was like the life I wanted, the life that I was part of, was being shown in front of me every day, eh. And I wasn't experiencing it."

Ezekiel let out a huge sigh and closed his eyes. "Weird, eh?"

"Actually, I was gonna say," the jock scratched the back of his neck, "how much I felt like that."

When the homeschooled kid raised his eyebrows in disbelief, Tyler smiled. "Yeah, 'cause-"

He waved his hands in the air, lost his balance, and slipped off the dock into the water. The splash caused the remaining campers to look over, and Izzy pounced Noah and started digging through his hair.

As the egghead fought to get Izzy off of him, Tyler pulled himself up on the dock. Shaking the excess water off, he chuckled at himself. "Happens almost every time I sit on the edge of a pool, that does."

"Good thing you're an athlete, and can swim," Ezekiel noted. "I doot I could pull myself out of the water like that." "Meh, it's not too hard," the jock replied with a cool wave of his hand. "But as I was saying, I felt like that too, man.

"I felt like I was watching the sports and games that I was supposed to be doing. I guess this is how retired athletes feel. They sit there thinking, 'I should be out there running and catching, I was out there doing it just yesterday.'

"Worst of all was watching Lindsay without me being there. I kept cursing about how team situation had driven us apart, how I didn't even get to say good-bye, and how she was being manipulated more and more by that black-haired harpy!"

Tyler curled his fingers in front of his face. "I wanted to scream, to drag that woman onto the Boat of Losers, and make sure she never came back."

"Whoa," Ezekiel replied, eyes wide. "You had it rougher than I did."

The two guys exchanged looks before Ezekiel continued. "You had to miss out on what everyone voted out missed out on, but you also had to be seperated from someone you really liked."

Tyler nodded, then stared down at the water. He saw his own reflection, constantly rippling from the drops of water coming from his wet clothes. "She doesn't even recognize me."

"What? What are you talking aboot?"

"We were seperated after the contest was over, though I was emailing and texting her. I stopped for a little while, because of," he looked away, "family issues. And when I got here, she kept staring at me like one would an old boyfriend. I know that look."

Ezekiel continued to look confused, so Tyler decided to bite the bullet and tell something he never told anyone else. "When I was younger, my dad and I were out one night. He's divorced, and he's had some girlfriends since. Nothing's been really steady for years.

"That one night, he ran into an old girlfriend he had a few years ago. She had this look on her face when she realized it was him, one of astonishment and... not really horror, just agitation. Like if she was meeting someone who used to be her enemy."

The athlete sighed again, staring at the reflection on the moon. "At that time, I was so young, I thought she was some enemy spy, and my dad was the target."

The two boys shared a small laugh, then Tyler continued. "She was attractive and tall, so I was sure she was some kind of spy. And my dad was like ol' James Bond, so handsome and alluring that she couldn't bring herself to kill him though she was supposed to."

"Sounds like quite the man, your father," Ezekiel replied. He had a lot of respect for parental figures, so he figured complimenting one's parents was complimenting them.

"He is. He's a good man. I just wish..."

Tyler struggled to say what came next. "I just wish that... no, never mind. Maybe another time."

The two were silent for a couple minutes after that. Tyler fiddled with his pocket, and pulled out a small, electronic device. Ezekiel stared at it, not sure what it was.

"Oh, this is my iPod. I got it after TDI, as a little way of trying to cheer myself up."

Ezekiel continued to stare at the device, which was less than half the size of a bookmark. "Um, what's it do?"

"Plays music."

The prairie boy gaped. He kept looking between the device and Tyler, as if to say, "_No, seriously, what's it do?_" Tyler couldn't help but laugh, and then pulled out the headphones. After drying off the waifer-thin electronic (which the jock explained to Ezekiel was waterproof) and the headphones, he let Ezekiel listen to some music.

Gwen and Trent, who had been glancing at the two ever since Tyler fell in the water, exchanged a smile. "Jock and outcast bonding," Trent remarked. "There's a song in that, I'll bet."

The goth girl nodded, grinning. "As much as I _hate_ this place, I'm amazed how people of different personalities can get along. Beth the excitable farmgirl was friends with bold Leshawna of the streets. Rule-following Courtney and law-breaking Duncan hit it on. The looniest girl I've ever seen, Izzy, was making kissy face with the biggest, loudest, and happiest guy I've ever seen, Owen."

Trent chuckled. "They say in dire circumstances, even the worst of enemies can become the best of allies. Total Drama Island was like a war-zone at times, and people who would normally never talk to each other, like Geoff and Duncan, would become allies and eventually friends."

Gwen smiled. Then her pale face lit up, an enchanting look for Trent, and she snapped her fingers. "Bingo," she whispered.

"What?"

"I know what to do for tomorrow."

As Gwen began to whisper her plan to her boyfriend, Ezekiel and Tyler continued to share music. "Whoa, dude," the prairie boy muttered as he listened to a particular song, "this one is great!"

"Oh yeah, I love that one," Tyler agreed after checking the name of the song on the iPod. "It reminds me a lot of Total Drama Island, to be honest."

"I can see that, eh."

After listening to the rest of the song, Ezekiel searched through the songs on the music device. He stopped when he saw an interesting name.

"Who is this 'Weird Al' Yankovic?" he asked, quirking his eyebrows at the unusual name.

"He's like a comedian singer. He makes funny songs, and parodies others."

"Parodies?"

"It's when you take the music from the song, and put in your own lyrics to spoof it. I love it, because the first time I heard him, he was spoofing a song I hate!"

Ezekiel nodded, taking all this in. An idea sparked in the homeschooled boy's mind, ran a trail of powder, then exploded. He laughed aloud, and had to grab Tyler's shirt to keep him from falling in the water again.

"What is it, dude? Listening to one of the parodies?"

"That's not it, eh," the boy grinned, a wicked one that was fitting for his oval face. "I know what I'm gonna do for the talent show tomorrow.

"But first... preperations! I gotta find that guy who has the computer... Cody, I think!"

Racing off to find Cody, Tyler followed after, excited to see what the prairie boy had in mind. Gwen and Trent went over her new idea, and Noah ran away from a cackling Izzy who insisted that she was on to him and he might as well submit to her search process!

**Continued in Part 3.**

* * *

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Read on, I dare ye!


	3. Day 1, Part 3: The Second Talent Show

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, only sheer unbridled joy that I am allowed free writing. Bless you, First Amendment, haha. And don't try any of these stunts at home, you could get really messed up.

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* * *

**Chapter 03 (Day 01, Part 3)** - The Seven Deadly Performances

"Welcome to Total Drama Comeback's first contest! It's Talent Night 2: Revenge of the Performers!"

Chris announced as the banners of both teams were held high by Chef Hatchet, waved around, then tossed away. The host beamed at the camera, sly and crafty as ever.

"Hand-picked by yours truly, eight campers will be performing tonight! Let's see if they have what it takes to impress Grand Master Chef!"

The handsome host then walked to the background of the stage, and snapped his fingers. Chef threw a lever, and a large screen unrolled in the middle of the back certain. The rope supporting it strained but held as the screen wobbled.

"Here will be the screen for our off-stage performance, Bridgette, and for close-ups of the one humiliating themselves or entertaining the masses! Think it'll be the former or the latter? Make some noise for your participating members, teams!"

He raised his hands, and wild cheers and clapping followed. Sitting in bleachers in front of the stage were the two teams. Actually, the majority of the Killer Bass were not there, only Eva, Duncan, DJ, and Harold. Most of them were behind stage left's curtain, preparing for the contest.

Tyler twirled his yo-yo in his hand, smiling proudly as he made it roll on the floor. Courtney watched him nervously, then looked over at Ezekiel. The prairie boy, still with a bandage over his nose, was holding onto a fake guitar which Courtney was _sure_ was a toy for a video game.

"Why are you using that?" she had asked him. "And how did you even get it?"

"I don't know how to play real guitar," was his reply, "and since I got the song track that doesn't have the words," he paused as Tyler told him what that was called, "the karaoke version, I mean, eh, since I got that, I'll be able to sing the words."

This worried Courtney more. Listening to Ezekiel talk was enough proof to her that this boy could _not_ sing. She had no choice in this, however, and would have to let the prairie boy perform what he wanted to.

"Just please don't do anything that'll tick people off," she reminded him curtly before heading over to the BFFFs.

"Don't let her get to you, man," Tyler advised him. Ezekiel nodded, and watched as both Courtney and Sadie try to prepare a very unprepared Katie. The skinny girl was clinging to Sadie so hard, that Eva was asked to come up and help pry Katie off her, twice.

"I swear, she should make that into a sport," Eva grumbled to Tyler after the second time. "I've seen people clinging to objects for their life who didn't have as solid a grip as she did."

Tyler and Ezekiel didn't want to know how she experienced that.

"Here's how it's going to roll," Chris was saying at center stage. "Like last time, Grand Master Chef, our big, lovable teddy bear of a cook, is going to judge the performances!"

Chris waved his hand up at the screen, and it displayed an empty glass. Nine bars took up the space of the glass, rising to the top. The bars flashed a light brown color, and the very top one looked like bubbles bursting at the top.

"The glass of root beer signifies your performance skill. One being the dregs of the glass, nine being the overflowing joy! Once all nine performances have been done, Grand Master Chef will show us each person's score.

"Now, this is what each contestant has signed up for:

Lindsay - Cheerleading.

Bridgette - Surfing.

Noah - Shakespeare.

Katie - Dancing.

Cody - Keyboard.

Tyler - Yo-yo tricks.

Gwen - Poetry.

Ezekiel - Parody song."

A long pause ensued. Crickets chirped, frogs ate the crickets then ribbit'ed. The crowd and Chris Maclean all were frozen in disbelief of the last one. The host managed to unfreeze his shiny grin and look at a post-it note he had on his palm. "Did I read this right?"

"Well, no matter," he shouted, hiding his hand behind his back. "I'm sure it'll make more sense once we see it. But for now, let us introduce, the hottest chick on the isle and no one can argue that, ... Lindsay!"

The fog machine kicked in, the colored lights went wild, and bouncy music blared, startling a great deal of people and stunning small animals. The blond gal came out, dressed in a tight, red cheerleader outfit. The 'L' that was supposed to stand for Lindsay was obscured by her large chest.

Lindsay immediately began to bounce to the music. She did splits, handstands, and high kicks, chanting a typical cheerleader chant. It was supposed to be an encouragement dance for herself, but when it came to the spelling part, she spelt her own name wrong.

None of this really mattered though, because while Lindsay was jumping and kicking, some big parts of her would not stop bouncing around. Even some of the girls couldn't help but stare at this, as Noah would later put it, a "toobular boobular joy."

"Must not look, must stay faithful," Harold muttered, shielding his eyes and looking down. Cody plugged his nose when he suffered a small nosebleed. Tyler forcefully kept his mouth shut to keep drool from spilling out. Ezekiel muttered something about wanting to go to public high school and never leaving the gym.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Where disgruntled campers come to grunt.)**

Heather - "That was one of _the_ most shameless...

Courtney - "... perverted..."

Katie & Sadie - "... _gro_tesque..." "... gro_tesque_..."

Eva - "... bimbo bubble-headed fan services I have ever..."

Owen - "... laid my eyes upon that gorgeous..."

Duncan - "... hottest..."

Noah - "... guilty pleasure I have ever saw in my life."

Leshawna - "... and woo-eeee, could that white girl shake it!"

Bridgette - "... like some kind of vapid, shallow..."

Geoff - "... wild party girl that I only see in movies..."

Gwen - "... and you would never, EVER, in a million years see me do something so..."

Tyler - \lets out a long swoon\

Ezekiel - "It's amazing she can stand up straight!"

DJ - "... and the irony is, I don't think she knew the effect she was having on us."

Beth - "Thee looked really good up there, I could never do the thplits."

* * *

"How was I, Carl?" Lindsay asked after her performance was over.

Chris came back out from behind the curtain, holding a bloody kleenex to his nose. "Um, we'll let you know after the others are done, k'kay, Lindsay?" "Thank yew," she purred before running off-stage. A very disgusted Heather was there to greet her.

"What the heck was that?" she shouted at Lindsay, throwing her hands up in the air. "I wouldn't even call that dancing!"

Lindsay looked alarmed by this. "But, I thought I did great out there. Did I fall down?"

While Heather tried to figure out how Lindsay could not remember that, Beth ran up to backstage and hugged her blond friend. "You were excellent up there, Lindthay!"

Returning the hug, Lindsay went with Beth back to the bleachers, where her teammates either high-fived her or, in Gwen and Izzy's case, rolled their eyes.

"After that... high-spirited performance, we go live," Chris announced, pointing up at the screen, which crackled and then came clear with live-camera footage, "to Bridgette out at sea, with her boyfriend Geoff taping it all! Do a good job, both of you!"

The camera was indeed pointed out at sea, where Bridgette was sitting down on her surfboard. Geoff called out to her, letting her know that it was time to begin.

The blond surfer stood up on the board and began riding the inside of the next wave. With the incredible zoom-in range of the camera, Geoff could get a very clear shot of Bridgette riding the inside of that wave. Also, what Ezekiel saw that made him blush, was how tight that wet suit was on Bridgette.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - In a world where camera reigns all.)**

Ezekiel - "I'm getting some very impure thoughts here. I think this is why my parents preferred me to stay home for schooling, eh." 

* * *

Bridgette followed up by doing a few spins in the air, performing a somersault, and, most impressive of all to Ezekiel, standing on her hands on her surfboard.

The audience cheered as Bridgette drifted to shore. The camera was bouncing up and down, which, Ezekiel guessed, was because Geoff was jumping up and down. The theory was proved when the camera bolted towards the surfer chick when she landed on the shore, reached out a hand to help her up, then went behind Bridgette's head as the sound of wet lips followed up.

"Geoff, you're still on," Courtney yelled. "Stop making out with her!"

Duncan doubled over laughing at this. Harold and DJ grinned at each other and high-fived for their friend's success. Even Gwen was giggling.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - We try.)**

Ezekiel - "This is like some really painful reminder that I'm still single."

Cody - \heavy sigh\ 

* * *

"Alrighty then, a rousing success for Bridgette! Far better than last time," Chris said, clapping with the audience. "Next up will be the man with a master plan, for old fashioned entertainment, Noah!"

Noah walked onto the stage, wearing a shirt with billowed sleeves and black pants. He was holding a fake dagger, and held it up when he reached center stage. After a meaningful stare at it, he began.

"_To be, or not to be, that is the question:_

_Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer_

_The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,_

_Or to take arms against a sea of trouble_s,"

As Noah continued, many people noticed his condescending tone was completely gone, a new person speaking. He spoke fluently and emotionally, and one had the sense that he not only knew what he was saying but that he understood every word of it.

"_And by opposing end them? To die, to sleep,_

_No more; and by a sleep to say we end_

_The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks_

_That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation_"

"Man, this is depressing sounding," Duncan muttered.

"Hamlet's contemplating suicide in this scene," Harold informed him.

"Really? So am I."

"_Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;_

_To sleep, perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;_

_For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,_

_When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,_"

"Is he speaking English?" Lindsay asked Leshawna.

"Hush, girlfriend."

"But I don't understand what he's saying? Is it American? British? Australian?"

"_Must give us pause: there's the respect_

_That makes calamity of so long life;_

_For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,_

_The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,_"

Geoff raised an eyebrow at this, as he and Bridgette were now seated in the Killer Bass bleachers. "Hey, this sounds like what we go through on this island," he said to Bridgette, who giggled.

"New Zealand? Alaska? California? Antarctic?" Lindsay continued to guess as Leshawna desperately tried to shush her.

"_The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay,_

_The insolence of office, and the spurns_

_That patient merit of the unworthy takes,_

_When he himself might his quietus make_"

Cody wiped a tear from his eye. Gwen blew her nose as Trent wrapped his arm around her in comfort. Owen was holding back one of the biggest bawls in his life. Izzy was transfixed on the sleeves, certain that was where the illegal jellybeans were.

"_With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,_

_To grunt and sweat under a weary life,_

_But that the dread of something after death,_

_The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn_"

Eva quirked an eyebrow at this. "Um, is Hamlet describing someone making out here?"

Duncan's face lit up. "Ooo! Old fashioned hot kissing, I like this more."

"You guys, gosh," Harold hissed at them.

"_No traveler returns, puzzles the will,_

_And makes us rather bear those ills we have_

_Than fly to others that we know naught of?_

_Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;_"

"So we're wimpth for being afraid of dying because no one comes back from it?" Beth whispered to Gwen, who nodded. "Oh good, I thought I wasn't getting it."

"_And thus the native hue of resolution_

_Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;_

_And enterprises of great pith and moment,_

_With this regard, their currents turn awry,_

_And lose the name of action._"

Noah concluded by sheathing the fake dagger, then bowing. The audience applauded, some polite and some truly impressed. Owen let loose his cry, and he soaked the collar of his Maple Leaf shirt.

"Beautiful, Noah, just fabulous," Chris exclaimed as he walked back on stage, clapping.

The egghead's smug smirk returned. "That's what I aim for," he said before he walked off-stage.

Chris wiped a tear from his eye. "Next up, for the Killer Bass, it's Katie!"

Katie walked on stage, knees knocking and fingers in her mouth. Her team fervently tried to encourage her by clapping and cheering, but she was still too nervous.

"C'mon, Katie, I know you can do this," Sadie called out to her best friend.

When the music started, Katie was a little late on her cue. When she picked it up, she was shaky and slow for the first part. After the jitters were finally gone, she began to dance with her heart in it, and she wasn't that bad either.

As she jumped, she accidentally bumped the screen with her hand, causing it to swing. The rope holding it up strained more, but luckily held. The swaying motion had a semi-impressive look for her zoomed-in image.

"Well, that was okay, I guess," Chris said after the song was over. He clapped Katie on the shoulder. "Personally, I think it was most impressive that you survived without your twin. Now go to her!"

In a dramatic, music-swelling moment, Katie and Sadie bolted to each other. Arms outstretched, eyes closed, mouths squealing, the two girls met with a painful collision and collapsed on the ground.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Sick of it yet? That's mean.)**

Eva - \She stares at the camera, trying hard not to laugh. She fails, bursts out laughing, and falls on the outhouse's floor as she continues to crack up.\

* * *

"Next is Cody! Give it up for the most popular ladies' man and the hottest internet sensation since America's Paris Hilton!"

Cody was blushing furiously as he brought his keyboard. He suddenly felt like there were high expectations, and the horror of letting down hundreds of fangirls made him shiver.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - We're back, baby.)**

Cody - \staring at a suspicious hole in the side of the outhouse\ "I have to be honest, the thought that I would let down all those fans everyone tells me I had was too much. So when Ezekiel asked me if he could borrow my laptop, I had one favor to ask me."

Ezekiel - "Cody asked that he learn a few moves on the keyboard from Harold. It didn't make much sense to me, eh. Luckily, Harold was wide awake because he was waiting for Duncan to fall asleep."

Cody - "So I just hope Ezekiel and Harold keep their promise that they won't tell my team I got help from them. Though it was a fair exchange, I had a feeling Heather or someone else would use it against me."

Ezekiel - "I was lucky that the express shipping could reach this island by tomorrow morning. It's how I got that guitar, eh, by the way. ."

Eva - \still on the floor laughing, kicking the side of the outhouse until she breaks a hole in it\ "Oops." 

* * *

Cody slid his finger down the keyboard, then began jamming. The tune he played was a fast-paced melody that sounded like it came from a video game or an action movie. When he finished, he shouted, "For Team Galatic," and slammed his hands on the keyboard for a finale.

This, however, knocked the keyboard off its stand and onto to the ground. He winced, then pretended he meant to do that by putting his foot on it and holding up both hands in the 'hang loose' symbol.

"Oh Cody, you never cease to amuse me," Chris said as he came onstage, clapping.

The Screaming Gophers cheered, Trent and Gwen whistling for their friend.

"Now we're more than halfway done with this talent show," Chris announced as Cody picked up the keyboard and exited to join his team. "So far, I think it's going pretty well, don't you? We now leave it up to Tyler to keep that pace going. So give it up for our favorite jock!"

Tyler, still dressed in jeans and a Hawaiian shirt, walked onstage, yo-yo in hand. He waved at Lindsay, who awkwardly waved back; she stopped when Heather glared at her.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Repairing itself now, come back later.)**

Lindsay - "I know that Heather is not someone I want to be around, but she has that thing with her eyes that makes you want to run away, ya know? It's terrifying!"

Chris Maclean - "Looking back, I probably shouldn't have jinxed it." 

* * *

Before Tyler could begin his routine, he heard a terrible noise from above. Looking up, he saw the rope holding up the screen strain and snap, dropping the screen. The bottom metal bar that the screen rolled up in hit Tyler on the head, and the jock went down with a whimper.

Several of the audience members screamed, some gasped. Tyler's yo-yo rolled off the stage, and, as if it was trying to find help, rolled over to Lindsay and knocked against her boot.

"Skyler," she shrieked as she bolted towards the stage. DJ and Ezekiel were pulling the screen off of the jock, as Izzy leapt up and down next to him.

"It's the curse of the Hawaiian shirt," she was shouting, "I knew those things were evil."

"Oh no, Skyler, are you okay?" Lindsay shouted, grabbing his shoulders.

Noah walked back on the stage. "He was hit on the head with a metal beam, I don't think he's peachy."

"I'll do CPR," the blond bombshell said before diving down to Tyler, locking lips with the unconscious jock.

"Blows to the head don't require CPR, Lindsay," Noah remarked. She continued anyway, and the egghead grimaced. "CPR does not involve tongue, Lindsay!"

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Still broken, still being used.)**

Lindsay - "CPR doesn't involve tongue? But that guy in health class told me it did when I had to practice with him." \She thinks about this for a few seconds, then gasps and scowls.\ "He read the manuel wrong!" 

* * *

"Well, I guess that's all we'll get from Skyler," Chris announced as DJ and Ezekiel helped a dazed Tyler off the stage. "Next up, the final competitor for the Screaming Gophers, Gwen!"

Cody, Leshawna, and Trent let out the loudest cheers as Gwen stood at the front of stage, holding a paper in her hand.

"My poem is called Survival of the Friends," she said and cleared her throat.

* * *

"_T__he monster grinned, an evil sight_

_It made lesser men shrivel in fright_

_The monsters it called bit and scratched_

_A friend of mine wound up in surgical wrap_

_The heartless treatment of the tyrannical man_

_Made people shake at the sound of his command_

_They would turn on each other, blamed for defeat_

_Some would let their comrades die in a heartbeat_

_Yet in this misery, this time of torture_

_A lesson can be learned, one which is pure_

_For though hatred and spite would fill one's mind_

_We should never forgot how it helped to be kind_

_A girl from the streets defends the outcast_

_The alpha nerd dodged bullets in a murderous match_

_The party animal helped the loner girl to carry on_

_Loyal girl and sly criminal debated right and wrong_

_For even when spirits wither and are sent to above_

_You could never erase the effect that is called love_

_It helped survivors endure, to test their limit_

_And await for their arrival over the summit_

_Geoff and Bridgette, Izzy and Owen_

_Tyler and Lindsay, Courtney and Duncan_

_Harold and Leshawna, and Trent and I,_

_We endured because love and survival..._

_means never say 'die'_"

* * *

The crowd was silent for a few seconds, then burst into wild cheers, especially from the couples mentioned in the poem.

"I love you, Gwen," Trent called out to her over the cheering. She blushed and waved back at him.

"That was an awesome poem," Chris exclaimed as he came out. "Not all the rhymes were good, but I liked it. Say, was I the tyrannical man in that poem?"

"Yes," she replied before walking off-stage.

"Cool," Chris grinned as he rubbed his chin. "Tyrannical Man Chris, I actually like the sound of that.

"Anyway, this show is almost over. So far we've had a pretty good show, but we aren't done yet. So let's give our favorite prairie boy a hand as he tries to finish this talent show night with something hopefully painless!"

Ezekiel was a little late coming out, and he glanced over at his team. His golden Z necklace was carefully hung around his neck, glittering in the lights.

Right now though, he was most focused on Tyler, who was being held up by DJ. The homeschooled boy didn't miss the glares from Courtney and Duncan, but Chef was the only critic he was considering.

"Alrighty then, eh," he said aloud, holding up his video game guitar, "I'm gonna be doing a parody song for you all, with some help from Tyler!" Strumming the fake guitar, he began.

* * *

Last Camper

Parody of Rockstar by Nickelback

--

_I'm getting off this ferry_

_to this ugly island._

_With the promise that I_

_could win a hundred grand._

_To be shackled up with _

_twenty-two other teens._

_(Why'd I sign up for this?)_

_The food here could kill_

_with so much as a whiff._

_And the first challenge is to_

_leap off a cliff._

_I swore, I could see the teeth_

_on those sharks gleam._

_(Almost became dinner there.)_

_I'm shoving a crate across a mile-long beach_

_So to Chris Maclean, I gotta beseech_

_We don't really wanna die_

_So don't serve us dinner, please._

_(I'm sure mine just moved.)_

_So it's Screaming Gophers verses Killer Bass_

_Both praying this day won't be our last._

_The Boat of Losers is the_

_last place you wanna be._

_(And you can't come back, ever.)_

_I won't be the one walking the Dock of Shame_

_Rather go down with glory with a burst of flame_

_CHORUS_

_'Cause we all just wanna be the last camper_

_Might be bossed around by queen bee Heather_

_The girl called Courtney was a C.I.T._

_And the R.C.M.P. is after crazy Izzy_

_And we'll party on with our man Geoff_

_Try to comfort Sadie when Katie left._

_And Trent's giving Gwen_

_that longful stare_

_Lindsay desperately tries_

_to make up her hair._

_Hey eh, I'll be the last camper_

_Hey eh, I'll be the last camper_

--

_So I confess my feelings to the Confessional Can_

_hoping that marshmallow is thrown into my hand._

_I did my best and I_

_hope my team realizes that_

_(Cuz I can't come back, ever.)_

_Try to cook a meal during a food fight_

_Try to stay up late for four straight nights_

_Explosions and bears and_

_I still can keep on my hat._

_(Never leave home without it.)_

_I won't be the one walking the Dock of Shame_

_Winning's the one and only reason that I came._

_CHORUS_

_'Cause we all just wanna be the last camper._

_I won't let a body-cast be a damper._

'_Nother sick challenge, 'nother marshmallow_

_Unless Owen ate 'em all, which feels hollow._

_And we'll go surfing with Bridgette_

_I tried to swim until the leeches bit_

_Justin takes off his shirt_

_and I can't help but stare._

_Who'll throw up first_

_during the Triple Dog Dare?_

_And while Chef howls away at the moon_

_The final marshmallow will be received soon._

_Noah rolls his eyes while he reads his book._

_Duncan scares his team silly with a hook._

_Hey eh, I'll be the last camper_

--

_The number of campers is dropping like a stone_

_Won't be long until I will be all alone._

_I'll miss my friends who did their very best._

_But in the end, I'll be the only one left._

_CHORUS_

_We all wanna be the last camper._

_Got a cliff or a pit, I'll be the first jumper_

_You haven't seen tough 'till you seen Eva._

_Before he left, Harold kissed Leshawna!_

_Did you know a serial killer's loose?_

_DJ's freaking out though it's all a ruse._

_The dodge ball players_

_are mashed against the wall._

_With Tyler's whirlwind_

_and Cody's static ball._

_You see, Beth brought about a curse of doom_

_And Ezekiel learned not to speak too soon._

_Actions and words can bring your demise._

_It'll provoke a lot of angry e-mail replies._

_Hey eh, I'll be the last camper_

_Hey eh, I'll be the last camper!_

* * *

The crowd was silent for an unsettling period of time. Ezekiel bit his lower lip, then realized it was no good. He hung his head in defeat and began to walk off the stage.

Both the Killer Bass and the Screaming Gophers burst out in wild cheering and clapping, startling the prairie boy so much that he jumped a couple feet in the air. When he realized they were cheering, he leapt into the air again and cheered.

"Yeah, that's how we prairie people rock, eh," he shouted. He looked over to Tyler, who was, though still dazed, cheering away.

"Awesome rockin', Zeke man," Chris cheered as he came back on-stage, clapping for the prairie boy. "That was a great, final performance!

"Now, let's get the eight performers on-stage!"

After a couple minutes of scurrying around, the eight campers were lined up, most of them standing. The interns used a cable to hang the screen back up, and soon enough, the image of the nine-bar root beer glass appeared.

"Now," Chris declared, looking at the two teams in the bleachers, "let's see how well your teammates did! "First off for the Screaming Gophers, Lindsay!"

The root beer glass filled up to eight bars. Lindsay squealed in joy, jumping up and down in excitement. Her team, despite some of their inner resentments, cheered at the high score.

"Now for the first Killer Bass, Bridgette!"

Seven bars filled up for the blond surfer. She clutched her surfboard and sighed heavily; it was a great score, but she had been beaten by Lindsay.

"Second for the Screaming Gophers, Noah!"

Seven bars flashed again, and he looked less than thrilled with this.

Noah exchanged looks with Bridgette, and they both shared a moment of silent, indignant rage of how typical it was that their talents had been beaten by the "bounce-fest" that was Lindsay's performance.

"Second for the Killer Bass, Katie!" Only four bars filled up. The tan-skinned girl sighed and hung her head, but perked up when she heard Sadie calling out how cool she was regardless.

"Third for the Screaming Gophers, Cody!"

Five bars flashed. Cody sighed and shook his head, ashamed of getting the lowest score on his team. Most of his team applauded in the hopes that he would feel better, but he wasn't looking up.

"Third for the Killer Bass, Skyler!" A single bar lit up for Tyler, who was being held up by Ezekiel. The jock moaned as he realized his score, and the prairie boy pat his shoulder in comfort.

"It's okay, Skyler," Lindsay said to him across the stage, though poor Tyler didn't hear her.

"Fourth for the Screaming Gophers, Gwen!"

Eight bars flashed for the goth girl's poem. She shrugged, but ended up smiling when she saw Trent applauding and grinning at her.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - New upgrade: cool air on your feet.)**

Gwen - smiling "I guess Chef loves poetry more than I thought." 

* * *

"And for Ezekiel's parody of a rock 'n roll song...," Chris started, letting everyone hang there. Ezekiel was gripping Tyler and his guitar awfully hard, his pulse was racing, and he was about to puncture his lower lip with his teeth.

The entire glass filled up and the foam-shaped light at the top of the gasp 'fizzled' with blinking lights. All nine bars blinked and chimed out the victory for the Killer Bass.

"Yes," Tyler shouted, his dazed state gone in a flash, "you did it, Zeke! You did it!"

He holstered Ezekiel, who was still in shock, up on his shoulder and let out a loud cheer. The Killer Bass were up on their feet, cheering and whooping and leaping in the air.

"Way to go, prairie boy," shouted Geoff, waving his hat around.

"You were amazing, man," called out DJ.

"Not bad," said Eva, not smiling but clapping loudly, "not bad at all." As the Killer Bass cheered on, the Screaming Gophers slumped. They had the lead for some time, but it slipped through at the last performance, just like last time. The only one not upset was Gwen.

"Girlfriend, you look alright for someone who lost at the last second," Leshawna said to her when the performers left the stage. "Somethin' going on under that black-and-green hair, hon?"

"Well, though we lost," Gwen started, then grinned wickedly, "we have to vote someone off now. And I think we all know who we won't put up with this time!"

The two friends looked over at Heather, smirking. The queen bee glared back at them, then turned her nose up.

"That's not exactly true."

Chris, in the middle of the stage, grinned at them all. As Tyler let Ezekiel down among the Killer Bass, he called out, "Didn't we win?" "Yes, you did. But, you think I was gonna allow you all to just vote off someone after the first challenge? Heck no! There are too many grudges and hatreds and couples making out! So... we have a follow-up challenge!"

"Ain't no way that gonna change our minds," Leshawna shouted, pointing at Heather. "It don't matter if she wins us the grand prize, her butt's off this island after this follow-up."

Chris laughed. "I love it when you guys give me the material for my next statement. Because, Leshawna, this next challenge is all for one, and one for all!

"The winners of the winning team, the Killer Bass, will be rewarded for dinner tonight their choice from their favorite restaurant! From fast food to five-star, we will provide!"

The Killer Bass cheered a whole lot except for Ezekiel, who looked a little perplexed. Bridgette noticed first and asked what was wrong.

"I don't know any restaurants," he admitted.

"So 'kay, dude," Geoff said, slinging an arm around the homeschooled boy, "if you win, I'll help you pick one out!"

"As for the losing team, the Killer Bass," Chris continued, his smirk growing quite wicked, "any of you that complete this challenge will gain invincibility tonight!" Gwen muttered something foul under her breath but Leshawna chuckled. "Knowing Chris, it'll be something Heather wouldn't dare break a nail over," the tough gal said to Gwen, who lightened up over this.

"Don't bet on it," Heather snapped at them, having overheard Leshawna's remark. "I am not going to lose this contest the first day. I will win this!"

"Chrith?" Beth spoke up, waving her hand in the air as per usual. "What happens if we all get invincibility?"

"A great question! You get another cookie," Chris tossed the sweet treat over to Beth, who once again broke off half for Owen. "To answer, then it's a switch-eroo! If you all win, then anyone get voted off tonight!" "Would I be correct in assuming then," Noah asked, without raising his hand, "that if only one person doesn't complete it, they will be sent to the Dock of Shame without a vote?"

"Correct, Mr. Noah! But I'm out of cookies."

"Fine by me if you don't toss your cookies at me."

"So what's the challenge going to be, Chris?" Bridgette asked.

**Continued on in Part 4, birdie on three.**

* * *

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What is the challenge going to be? Who's going to succeed, who's going to fail? And who of the eleven Screaming Gophers will be voted off? Find out by reading the final part of Day 01 on Total Drama Comeback!

Inspiration for Cody's Tune from Team Galatic's Theme from 'Super Smash Brothers Brawl'.

Inspiration for Ezekiel's Song Total Drama Island Rockstar (So Sorry), on YouTube.


	4. Day 1, Part 4: The First Ceremony

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, only sheer unbridled joy that I am allowed free writing. Bless you, First Amendment, haha. And don't try any of these stunts at home, you could get really messed up.

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* * *

**Chapter 04 (Day 01, Part 4)** - TDC's First Victim

The twenty-two campers were gathered around a hole in the ground that Chris had escorted them to. Nothing natural was about this hole, since it was a clean-cut circle, and a metal ladder led down into the darkness.

"Welcome to the Pit of 100 Screams," Chris shouted, spreading his arms. "Here, each contestant, one by one, will go down into the blackness. Down there, you will find a small alter with your name on it that has your own Gemstone of Enormous Mirth!"

"The GEM gem?" Noah said, crossing his arms.

"Yep! Basically, this is where all hatred and love stops, because you go down there alone, and you go back up alone! Since it's so far down, words of encouragement or demoralization cannot be heard."

"Not all of us have nyctophobia or claustrophobia," Noah continued his sarcastic attack, shaking his head.

"Noah, you're asking for it, big guy," replied Chris, never losing his grin. "You see, it's called the Pit of 100 Screams because there are one hundred horrors down there! And every camper is going to have to stare down one of the those horrors in order to claim the GEM!

"And don't bother warning your teammates about the danger that they might have to face when they retrieve their gem. It'll be different each time."

* * *

**(Confession Camera - We've got a million of 'em.)**

Chris - "I didn't want to tell them this, because it would ruin the scare factor. We got us a very fancy hologram projector, so there is no danger except heart attacks or however these guys can hurt themselves. There are one hundred horror projections randomly programmed, so they could be having to approach a pack of velociraptors, a swarm of bees, or a group of loud, demanding reporters." 

* * *

An deep, rumbling roar came from deep down in the hole. The host cackled as fear struck the hearts of the campers, and many started to back away from the hole.

"Is immunity or a good dinner worth venturing into the Pit of 100 Screams?" Chris asked. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "I think our first victim will be the nonbeliever! Noah, you're up first!"

Many of the Screaming Gophers grinned at Noah, who looked rather worried now. With an angry scoff, he said, "If you insist, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was just some hologram projection." Chris tried to hide his surprise as Noah began his descent. "_Dang, that kid is too smart_," he thought to himself. "_If only he weren't a contestant, I could go to him for more sick ideas_."

The egghead climbed down the ladder, which seem to take a very long period of time. The taunts and cheers (mostly taunts) from the others soon couldn't be heard, and that was when he reached the bottom.

It was a circular cavern, obviously man-made, well-lit by tiki torches. He was in the center, on a small circular stage. Eleven alters were on the left side, eleven on the right, and the banners of the two teams were hung over their respective sides.

"Like something out of a cheap Indiana Jones set," Noah grumbled as he headed towards the Screaming Gophers.

The GEMs were of eleven different colors, and his was a royal purple. "Not bad," he said as he picked it up. "Though the craftsmanship is a little off, and the..."

He trailed off when he felt a gust of wind behind him, and some horrible whispering. Noah spun around, but saw nothing. He shrugged and started to walk back to the ladder. "Stupid wind, setting me off like that..."

He trailed off again when his highly-developed brain recalled something. "Wait, I'm in a cave deep underground," he said aloud, "how did wind get down here?"

Something fluttered behind him, and a hissing breath made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He slowly turned around, and came face to face with a bat the size of a bed sheet blanket.

Up above ground, Chris held up an speaker device that, he had explained earlier, was connected to a microphone in the pit. Noah's scream blared from the speaker, and a lot of the campers had a good laugh.

The egghead scrambled to the ladder, but tripped on the stage's edge. He dropped the gem, which skidded away from him. The giant bat hovered over it, as if daring Noah to take it.

Noah breathed in deep, and decided to just let the bat keep the cheap GEM; however, as he was starting to climb the ladder, his brain recalled another fact.

"_Bats mostly eat insects and fruit_," he remembered. "_Even if this bat is real, to him you're about as appetizing as that gemstone._"

Noah inched towards the giant bat, swiped the GEM from underneath it, then bolted to the ladder. He scurried up it as the wind from the bat's wings and screeching seemed to follow him up.

When he made it to the surface, he juggled the GEM in one hand in front of his team. Regardless of their feelings for Noah, they cheered. The challenge wasn't impossible now.

"Congratulations, Noah, you win invincibility," Chris exclaimed, slapping Noah on the back.

"No sweat," the egghead replied. "But I won't be seeing a Batman movie for some time now."

"Okay, then, let's see who's next...," Chris pondered aloud. "Geoff! You go as the first Killer Bass!"

"Will do, dude," Geoff shouted, pumping his fists in the air. He winked at Bridgette and waved at his friends before heading down.

The campers waited patiently as they waited for Geoff. Chris held onto the speaker and watched, as if waiting for the scream. Sure enough, the party animal's scream rang out from the host's device.

Only a few seconds after the scream, Geoff was climbing up the ladder. Empty-handed and white as a sheet, he was heaving and clutching his hat.

"Too bad, Geoff," Chris replied.

"Grim... Reaper...," Geoff managed to whimper before he fainted, falling face-first in the grass.

* * *

Beth came up with her dark green GEM, claiming how the ants that had covered every inch of the cave didn't scare her one bit.

DJ, to no one's great surprise, returned shivering and empty-handed. He whimpered something about pitbulls to Duncan.

Leshawna came out, sweating and heaving, but clutching a dark brown GEM in her hand. She grumbled about how stupid she felt being scared of a tyrannosaurus rex when they're extinct.

Harold went down with everyone expecting him to come out screaming. He emerged with a wide grin, holding his sea green GEM, complimenting Chris how neat that dragon looked.

Gwen came out, no paler than usual but bug-eyed and trembling. Dropping her dark green GEM on the ground, she wouldn't stop whimpering, "Walls... closing in..."

Bridgette came out laughing hard as she held up the bright yellow GEM. "Seriously Chris, a giant chicken?" She apologized to Tyler, who looked horrified.

* * *

"So far, you all have performed pretty well," Chris admitted as Trent headed down. "Maybe having so many different horrors was a bad idea."

He was interrupted when Trent's scream from the speaker startled even him. The musician, without a GEM, came up the ladder as fast as humanly possible, and he clutched the grass for dear life.

"Well, looks like lover boy isn't as brave as his girlfriend," Heather said, unable to resist a taunt.

Gwen shot eye daggers at her before comforting Trent. "What was it? A mime?"

"L-lawyers...," Trent finally managed to spit out. "Hundreds of lawyers..."

"Chris Maclean, you animal," Gwen shouted the host, shaking her fist.

* * *

Eva came out holding a dark blue GEM. She scoffed when Beth asked her what she had seen down there. "Just some jerk wearing a hockey mask."

Lindsay came out shrieking with her hands in the air, yipping in terror. When Heather finally got her to stop screaming, the blond said how icky those slugs looked.

Katie, who had to go down alone, came out GEM-less with a terrified face. When her BFFF hugged her, the thinner girl whimpered how there was a mad rhino down there.

Owen, like Lindsay, came out screaming and fruitless. He ran around in circles yelling, "The mole men are coming, the mole men are coming," until Eva tackled him to shut him up.

* * *

Ezekiel rolled up his sleeves before heading down. As soon as reached the bottom, the other campers heard him scream bloody murder. There was also a lot of 'thuds,' which sounded a lot like him falling on the ground.

When the homeschooled boy finally reached the top of the ladder, he was dirty, scratched up, and empty-handed. His narrow eyes were now wide, and he was heaving.

"Cthulhu," he whimpered, shaking harder after saying the name.

"Too bad, Ezekiel," Chris said with a shrug. "Seems a shame that you didn't win this after winning the talent show."

The prairie boy stopped shaking. "Oh, actually," he said as he lifted his toque, and the forest green GEM fell out of his hat, "does this count?" Chris thought about it for a few seconds, then nodded. Ezekiel and Tyler exchanged a high-five.

* * *

Justin emerged from the pit with a pure white GEM in his hand and no shirt on his chest. The girls all swooned, and Owen didn't stop giggling until Heather smacked him. Unfortunately, they didn't find out what had been his terror because he wouldn't say anything.

Duncan came scrambling out the pit, gripping his mohawk and screaming his lungs out. Courtney slapped her forehead while he wailed, "There's a scorpion the size of a school bus down there!"

Heather emerged, panting but grinning wickedly as she held up a blood red GEM. Gwen and Leshawna gnashed their teeth, while the popular girl bragged about how the crocodile wasn't too terrifying.

Sadie came up giggling, holding her pink GEM. "Those clowns were so funny looking," she laughed aloud as her friend hugged her. Chris looked at her as if she had two heads.

Cody came out the hole, empty-handed and screaming. "Cyborgs! My worst fears have come true!"

* * *

Courtney looked down the hole, pretty sure she didn't want to go.

"Come on, Courtney," Bridgette said comfortingly, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You can do this."

"I don't know," the C.I.T. replied. She took a step back. "I mean, if Duncan can't do this, how can I?"

"Then do it for Duncan!"

The brunette girl, shocked, looked over at Tyler, who was grinning at her. "After all, he's not getting a cool dinner, he needs to pick off someone's plate!"

Ezekiel, standing next to him, nodded at Courtney. "Ayup yup. It'll be the gift that keeps on giving, eh."

Harold flashed a thumbs-up. "You can do this, Courtney!"

Getting encouragement from her three least favorite teammates boggled her mind. Before she could say anything, a strong arm wrapped around her waist.

"They're right, you know," Duncan said into her ear. "I'll expect some of your fries when you win this." "Ogre," she replied, as she headed for the hole. "Like I'd get some fast food, I'll be getting shrimp!"

"Oh goody, I never had shrimp before," Duncan cackled.

Courtney went down into the pit. About a minute later, screaming blasted from the speaker, followed by, "I hate you, Chris, I hate you!"

Nevertheless, Courtney arose from the pit with a dark gray GEM in one hand. Her teammates cheered as Duncan gave her a big hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"So, what tried to unnerve the princess?" he asked as he ruffled her hair.

She swatted at his hand, and replied, "I don't feel like talking about it." "Aw c'mon," Bridgette whined. "We all said what we faced, you have to too!"

Courtney rubbed her arm for a few seconds before replying, "Bowser." Duncan was confused by this, so Courtney let out a long sigh and explained further. "Bowser from those Mario Brothers video games."

The criminal fell down laughing. "Bowser almost kidnapped the princess," he cackled, rolling on the grass. "That's priceless!" "And to think I was going to share my shrimp with you," Courtney said in a huff.

Izzy went down into the pit next. Her screams were a little different, however, as they sounded more like battle cries. When she came back up holding a bright orange GEM, she let out a large cheer. "I scared the pants off that giant centipede!"

Tyler went down as the last contestant. As he headed down, Lindsay leaned over the edge.

"I'm so worried about him," she said aloud.

"Lindsay, he's on the other team," Heather called out to her.

Before Lindsay could reply, the speaker spat out not just Tyler's scream but the screaming of what sounded like a thousand enraged women. The noise was so intense that Chris was forced to shut off the speaker.

"I was hoping the soccer moms wouldn't be that loud. Too realistic, I guess," Chris muttered to himself.

"Myron?" Lindsay called down the pit, worried now. "Are you okay? Please answer!" "I told you that your voice cannot reach down there," the host told her, "and your boyfriend's name is Tyler."

"What if he faints down there and we don't know?" Lindsay shouted. She threw her hands up in exasperation. "What if he hit his head against the floor and-"

Lindsay lost her balance and fell down the hole, screaming as she plummeted. The campers gasped in horror, Beth and Leshawna running over to the side.

"Lindthay," Beth screamed down the hole. She gripped her hair and shouted, "Can thee survive that fall?"

"I'm pretty sure she can," Chris replied, "and good question! You get another cookie!" The cookie bounced off the stunned Beth's forehead and fell into the hole.

Leshawna was about to yell at Chris before a super sweet voice came from the hole. "Did someone drop a cookie down here?" Lindsay, being carried with one arm by Tyler, held the cookie up in the air. The campers cheered at her safe return, and Beth hugged her friend.

"You, white boy," Leshawna grabbed Tyler and pulled him in the tightest hug he ever received, "are one heck of a catcher!"

"My hero," Lindsay gushed as she wrapped her arms around Tyler from behind. Before she got cozy, she realized something important. "Oh... but you dropped your GEM when you caught me."

The jock smiled, placing his hands on her shoulders and staring into those baby blue eyes. "You're more important than some silly GEM," he replied.

She swooned and gave him the biggest, wettest, most passionate kiss that most of the campers had ever seen. And boy, did they cheer for it.

"You know what," Chris said as he walked over and thumped Tyler on the back after the kiss was done. "I think that I'm gonna be a nice guy and say you accomplished the challenge anyway! Congratulations, oh and," he winked at the couple, "_nice_ one!

"So, Screaming Gophers, I'll see you by the bonfire tonight! You know the place," Chris exclaimed as he headed off to wherever it was that his trailer was.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - We've got a million of 'em.)**

Gwen - "Chris being generous? That's more unrealistic than the horrors down in that pit."

Bridgette - "I have got to learn to kiss like that!"

Beth - "That was _tho_ romantic!" \She lets out a long sigh.\ "I really want a boyfriend now." 

* * *

"C'mon, princess, one more shrimp!"

"You've eaten almost half of them, back off!"

"Is that anyway to talk to your boyfriend?"

"I never agreed that we were dating! Let go!"

Courtney and Duncan's unusual brand of flirting brought chuckles to the Killer Bass as they ate their victory dinners.

Bridgette was sharing her dinner with Geoff, which was a little bit of a letdown to the party animal since it was a vegetarian meal, and he was a hamburger kind of person. Sadie sharing her meal with Katie was much more fitting, since the two loved the same place. Harold, Tyler, and Ezekiel spared parts of their meal for DJ, who was ever grateful. Bridgette spared a little lettuce for Bunny as well.

"Awesome first day, I have to say," the surfer chick said, smiling happily at Geoff.

"Yeah, we lucked out with Ezekiel there," Geoff agreed, slapping the prairie boy on the back. "Where'd you learn to sing, dude?"

"TV. They actually have educational shows on that kind of stuff, eh," Ezekiel said as he ate his fourth slice of pizza. "I learned a lot of things from TV and books when I was at home." "Everything except the outside world, huh?" Duncan said, teasing but grinning.

"Ayup. I thought that watching enough of TV would prepare me for that. Shame my mom never let watch that show called 'Xena' or I would have been more prepared." Katie and Sadie giggled.

"So what did you watch to prepare yourself?" DJ asked out of curiosity.

"Stuff that involved a lot of young people and drama," he said, and listed a few of the shows that he had watched. He stopped when most of his team was snickering.

"Dude," Tyler said, nudging his friend, "no wonder you thought girls weren't as strong with guys. You watched the shows that girls are all materialistic and helpless and stuff!"

"You still think girls aren't as strong as guys are?" Eva asked, not even looking up from her steak as she spoke.

Ezekiel looked a little taken aback by this. "You proved me wrong right after I said that, remember? You lifted me up and throttled me."

"Good times," she said, still not looking or smiling.

"Ayup, good times indeed, eh," Ezekiel chuckled as she ate more. "Geoff, my man, I _love_ this pizza! Thank you for suggesting it!"

"No problem, dude," Geoff then noticed the pepperoni on said pizza, and drooled. "Can... I have a slice?"

"Sure thing, eh."

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Where all the dirt and worse is.)**

Geoff - "Don't tell Bridgette, but I love meat."

Ezekiel - \still eating a slice of pizza\ "Well, I think things are much better now. I don't think Eva and Courtney are chummy with me yet, eh, but things are better this time 'round!"

Tyler - \lets out a very long swoon\ "Lindsay..." 

* * *

The Screaming Gophers sat on the wooden pegs that acted as chairs at the bonfire. Chris stood behind the oil drum, a plate with ten marshmallows on top.

"So, Screaming Gophers, you lose the first challenge this time. Interesting," he said as he stroked his chin. "Makes me wonder if you all lost your touch during those six months."

"It's only because that dorky redneck managed to throw a few funny lyrics on a song he didn't even write," Heather snapped, crossing her legs indignantly. "Don't chalk it up as real skill."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Gwen said with a wicked grin. Heather snarled at her as the goth girl high-fived Leshawna.

"Okay okay, enough spitting angry talk," Chris said. "Now as you all have cast your votes, made your decisions, and come to a cruel verdict, it is time to hand out the ten marshmallows I have here on this plate.

"The one who doesn't get a marshmallow is going to be the first one off this island, by walking the Dock of Shame and onto the Boat of Losers. And you cannot come back!

"EVER!"

"You mean like how Eva and Izzy came back in the middle of the first season?" Noah asked, quirking an eyebrow. Chris scowled.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - The final verdicts are being held here.)**

Chris - "Does he have to make a smart remark after every other sentence I say?!"

Beth - "Thince Heather is immune, which happens _far_ too often, I had to consider who elth would be difficult to work with. And I have to say...," \she looks a little ashamed\ "I'm not exactly happy with who I picked now."

Heather - "I know who I want to go the most, and that would be Owen. Unfortunately, I cannot control the votes so much this time. I'll have to think of a way to change that."

Noah - \looking up from his book\ "Who did I vote for? Well, Trent and Cody are out of the question, they're decent guys. So it was either the Ms. Bounce For 8 Points, or Mr. Belch & Fart."

Izzy - "I may have been wrong about the jellybeans being smuggled in by Noah. I actually think Sadie might have them. I'll have to inspect on this further."

Leshawna - "My vote was actually pretty easy. Ain't no way I'm voting for Gwen's BF, Lindsay's one of my girlfriends no matter how vapid that girl is, and voting for Cody would be like kickin' a puppy. Sorry, Owen."

Gwen - "I doubt it'll happen, but I voted for Cody. I know he's a good guy, but I have this sinking feeling he'll still be making little moves on me throughout this contest."

Lindsay - "Let's see... Leshawna told me the only people open to voting are Brent, Oscar, Jody, or Hue. I don't remember a Hue being on our team."

Cody - "I have a pretty good feeling the others won't vote me off. I mean, I saved two of their lives last time, and I haven't been mauled by anything."

Justin - \grins, and holds up a picture of Cody\

* * *

"Now, first off, the Immunity winners," Chris gestured to the plate. "Let's do this nice and orderly now. When I call your name, please come get your marshmallow. Beth!"

The short girl bolted over, grabbed one and kissed it, then ran back.

"Gwen, Leshawna, and Heather."

The three girls took their marshmallows, Heather with her nose stuck up.

"Justin, my main man. Noah, my cynical man. And Izzy, my wild woman of Izzy's Happy Sap!"

The three gathered their marshmallows, Noah looking a bit more happy than usual because deep down, he was ever so happy to receive his first marshmallow.

"That leaves us the four chickens who couldn't complete the Pit of 100 Screams," Chris said. "Trent, Cody, Lindsay, and Owen."

The four looked at each other nervously. Trent felt Gwen's soft hand slip into his and give him a comforting squeeze. Lindsay bit her lower lip and clenched her hands. Owen had his palms on his forehead. Cody had pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, rocking back and forth with wide eyes.

"Lindsay," said Chris.

"Yes?" asked Lindsay.

"You get a marshmallow," the host replied, cocking an eyebrow.

The blond girl let out a loud squeal of joy, and grabbed that sugary treat. The three boys exchanged nervous looks.

Chris let them hang like that for a while before he finally spoke. "Trent."

The handsome musician gasped in joy, as did Gwen. He retrieved his marshmallow with a spring in his step. When he returned to his seat, his gothic girlfriend kissed his cheek.

"It's down to you two now," Chris said, pointing at Cody and Owen. The boys gasped in horror.

The tension was thick. Everyone was watching Chris, glancing back at the two unfortunate campers. Cody began shaking, his shoulders up to his ears. Owen let out a cry of terror and grabbed Cody, pulling the geek close to him.

"Good luck, buddy," he whispered to Cody, his voice trembling.

"You... you too, Owen," Cody replied, patting the big guy's arm in comfort.

"The, um...," Chris started, finding it hard to concentrate as Owen was hugging Cody. He cleared his throat. "The final marshmallow goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Cody."

The two boys gasped, and Cody let out a loud whoop for joy as he bounded to the marshmallow plate. He snatched it up and stared at it as he grinned. The grin vanished when he looked up and saw Owen slumped in his chair.

"Owen, I'm sorry man," Chris said as he came over to the big guy and pat his shoulder. "The Dock of Shame claims it's first victim. I know how much like being here but..."

"It's not that, to be honest," Owen said as he stood up. "I just... really... really... wanted a marshmallow!"

He was about to burst into tears when someone held up the marshmallow in front of him; it was Cody. "Here man, you can eat mine," said the geek, smiling at his large friend.

Owen gasped in delight, but used all his restraint to ask, "Are you sure? It must be a pretty special marshmallow to you."

"Nah, it's okay, dude," Cody said.

"Hey big guy," Leshawna called out, and tossed her marshmallow at Owen. "You can have mine too."

Pretty soon, every marshmallow but Heather's was a parting gift to the big guy. He held them in one arm as he waved good-bye on the Boat of Losers.

"Good-bye, my friends," he called to them as the boat started off. "Though short, my stay here was _awesome_! Keep up the good fight!"

The group, sans Heather, waved back at him. As Gwen waved, she noticed something.

"Wait a minute," she asked the others, "where is Izzy?"

As if on cue, the redhead popped up behind Owen. "You didn't think," she said as she spun Owen around to her, "that you could leave without a kiss from Izzy?" "Owen would have regretted that more than the marshmallows."

They shared a long kiss, and the girls of the Screaming Gophers 'awwww'd while the guys cheered. Izzy, a smile in her face but sadness in her eyes, waved good-bye to Owen before jumping off the boat.

As Cody helped her onto the dock, Noah closed his book. "How ironic that someone who did so well in the first season was voted off this soon."

"Guess that means you or Ezekiel will win this one," Trent remarked.

"That'd be nice."

* * *

The Killer Bass were heading off to bed now. Tyler managed to see Lindsay returning to the Screaming Gophers cabin, and he nearly jumped for joy as she waved to her. She blew a kiss to him in return.

The last two in the cabins were Bridgette and Ezekiel, and before the young man could enter his side, she called him over.

"I want to ask you something real quick," she said. Ezekiel nodded, and found himself staring at those pale green eyes of hers. "You and Courtney really got off on the wrong foot when we got here, but you were being nice to her when she was nervous about going into the hole. I just... would like to know why."

Ezekiel stared for a couple seconds, then shrugged and smiled. "I'm incapable of carrying a grudge, eh."

"Really? Wow," Bridgette replied with a smile of her own. "Because, to be honest, I was certain I wasn't going to like you when we were all reunited. I thought you would be the same woman-hater like before."

"I never hated women, eh."

Bridgette thought back to what Ezekiel had said that first day that got him kicked off the first season. "Well, yeah, that's a little harsh, but you kind of know what I mean."

Ezekiel nodded, then look up at the night sky. "I really regret that day. A lot of bad things happened because of it."

"Yeah, I can imagine you weren't treated very well by others because of those remarks."

The prairie boy stared at her, looking confused. Then he shook his head and replied, "Oh... yeah. That's right, eh. Luckily, I'm homeschooled and all."

Bridgette saw that look of confusion before Ezekiel hid it, and now she was confused. She wanted to know more, but it was late and she was tired. So she smiled and said, "Good night, Ezekiel. It's nice to see you've changed for the best."

"Night, Bridgette," he replied as he watched her go in the girl's side of the cabin. He lowered his voice and whispered, "It's nice to see you are still as great as ever."

* * *

Chris scratched his head as he looked through the papers. Chef Hatchet, who was preparing breakfast tomorrow so it would be as cold and old as possible, noticed this. "Something wrong, Chris?"

"Well, according to the numbers and our production's predictions, we aren't going to have enough interns for this season, even if don't have any 'filler' days where no one gets voted off."

This concerned Chef a great deal. He knew that no interns equaled him having to try out all of the dangerous challenges Chris and the producers thought up. "Well, um, can't you hire more?"

"I thought of that, don't you think I thought of that? But unfortunately, I think we said a bit more than we should have the first season, and the applications aren't exactly churning out like the ratings."

Chef sat down, quite concerned now for the sake of his safety. "There must be something we can do to get people willing to try out these challenges."

"Who do know would want to be here that much, try dangerous stunts, has little to no shame, and would be alright in the eyes of the viewing audience?"

Then something clicked. It was breakfast, which was crackling in the boiling pot. Then something else clicked, and this was in the mind of Chris and Chef.

* * *

"Now remember," Chris said to the second passenger of the Boat of Losers as it headed back to the island, "this means you aren't going to be at Playa des Losers, but you can quit this intern job and stay there until the season finale at any time."

"Why would I want to be at some little resort when I can hang out with my friends? This...," Owen said as he pumped his arms into the air, "is AWESOME! WOOHOO!"

"Keep it down, big guy," Chris chastised him, "the other campers are still sleeping."

"Sorry," Owen squeaked, and let out a very quiet 'woohoo.'

"I'll be custom-ordering your intern shirt, it should arrive tomorrow."

"Why do you need to custom-order it?"

"They don't have intern shirts in the size extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra..."

* * *

The Votes of the Screaming Gophers:

**Noah** - Owen

**Beth** - Owen

**Leshawna** - Owen

**Gwen** - Cody

**Trent** - Cody

**Lindsay** - Owen

**Owen** - Trent

**Justin** - Cody

**Heather** - Owen

**Cody** - Trent

**Izzy** - Lindsay

--

Owen - 5

Cody - 3

Trent - 2

Lindsay - 1

* * *

--

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My apologies to all Owen fans, but look on the bright side: you're still going to see a lot of him. I cannot guarantee this for anyone else who will be voted off, and in fact, I probably will guarantee they'll only appear near and/or at the end of TDC.

During this fic, I would like to try and explore friendships and relations that weren't touched in the show, like how I've done Ezekiel and Tyler. Which two characters would you like to see get to know each other more? What non-canon pairings do you have on your mind? Would you like to see Courtney and Duncan eventually forgive Harold and accept his apology? And would you like to see Chris take more of a beating (who wouldn't)?

See you next time on TDC! Reviews are nice, criticisms and requests are okay, compliments are cool, and flames will be eventually matched!!

\shadow boxes like Tyler and nearly falls over too\ 'Cuz... you know, I can do that too.


	5. Day 2, Part 1: A Rivalry as Old as Time

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. No words, numbers, symbols, and/or htmls were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

Author's Quite Unnecessary Note That You More Than Likely Are Skipping Over - Thank you all for the reviews! Your suggestions, ideas, encouragement, and positive feedback fuel my fire for writing! So... GAME ON!

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* * *

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... the twenty-two campers from our highly-successful TDI were brought back to enjoy Camp Wawanakwa one more time, with the hopes that two of them would walk away with ten-thousand dollars and a spot on Total Drama Action.

Some campers, like Courtney and Geoff, were happy to be back. Some, like Heather and Ezekiel, looked like they would've prefered to stay home and sulk. Not while we have lawyers, dudes!

The campers were placed back in their original teams, and our second talent night began. Ezekiel won with a smart parody about TDI, and the Killer Bass were safe for the night. After facing the Pit of 100 Screams, more campers were safe, but poor Owen couldn't escape his fate, and became the first to walk the Dock of Shame.

But now that Owen is back as an intern, we'll have all of the big guy that we can take! So now what will happen on TDC? Will the couples continue to date, will the odd guys out be crushing on the girls for all the world to see, and who is going to ask who to the prom?

All this, and more on Total! Drama! Comeback!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!_)

* * *

**Chapter 05 (Day 02, Part 1)** - Popularity verses Smarts

A couple days after the first challenge, tension was high between the campers. The combination of not wanting to be at Camp Wawanakwa, being with people they detested, and the returning irks of the horrid conditions put everyone's nerves on the edge.

Everything blew up the morning Chris used an air horn over the loudspeaker to wake the campers.

"Attention, campers," the host's overly cheerful voice boomed across the camp, "today is the day of your second challenge. You will be pleased to know your teams will also be changed. Now everyone in the center of camp, I'll be over there shortly.

"Oh, and watch the ground, it's a little muddy from a quick rain last night."

The campers, grumpy and half-asleep, shambled out of their cabins. With uncombed hair, ruffled clothes, and bad morning breath, they were not a pleasant sight to behold.

"I... hate him... so much," Heather snarled as she exited the girls' side of the Screaming Gophers.

"Who wakes up this early?" Duncan growled as he threw open the door. "Only freaks would get up when the sun is still on the horizon."

Sadie and Katie helped tweak each other's hair as Sadie said, "I couldn't sleep at all. Something was right outside my window, and I think it was trying to get in. Bridgette rubbed at her eyes, then tied her hair into a ponytail. "Yeah, I cannot imagine how someone could bring themselves to get up this-"

She stopped short when she saw Ezekiel and Beth standing in the center of the campgrounds, looking far better than anyone else.

"And then the clouds parted and God thaid from above, 'Buy a ticket,'" Beth finished the joke. Ezekiel laughed and clapped.

"That's a good one, eh," the prairie boy replied. "Never heard it before."

"It's a favorite at school. We used to...," Beth started, then noticed the other campers staggering towards them. She giggled and nudged Ezekiel. "Hey look, Ethekiel, dawn of the living dead."

"Naw, zombies couldn't look as bad as they do," he replied, and the two burst out laughing.

Heather scowled, her unmade face grim and hideous to behold. "How typical. The pig farmers are first awake to wallow in the mud."

Beth stopped laughing and scowled at Heather immediately. "You'd know about mud, you sling it at everyone."

The queen bee snarled, then noticed the moist mud around her shoes. Smirking, she scooped up some and threw it at Beth. It splattered all over the farm girl's face and clothes.

The campers gasped in horror. The shorter girl wiped the mud from the front of her glasses, stared down Heather, and shouted, "That tears it!"

She leapt at the ravenhaired girl, knocking her to the wet, muddy ground. The splash of mud sprayed on several others.

"Whoa, chill out, ladies," Geoff shouted to them. "No need to get hostile-"

"Screw that, it's on," Courtney yelled as loud as she could, then jumped on Harold.

The campers began an all-out wrestle-fest, chaos and mud and limbs flying everywhere.

As Geoff tried to pull Courtney off Harold, Duncan ran at the lanky teenager before being knocked to the side by Izzy, who was dressed in a tight black jumpsuit. Gwen found herself throttling Cody, who had accidentally touched the side of her breast when he was shoved by Bridgette.

Noah was held back by one of Justin's strong arms as the egghead swung at thin air to get at him. DJ was dragged into the fight by an bloodthirsty Eva, who also had Tyler in a headlock. Ezekiel gave Trent a wet-willie, Lindsay was shoved into the mud by Katie and Sadie, and Leshawna was helping Beth smear mud over Heather's face.

"GUYS! STOP THIS, YOU'RE FRIENDS!"

"CAMPERS!"

The booming megaphone caught everyone's attention as they were locked in place, halfway through wrestling or throttling or smearing mud on someone. A very large teenager pulled Gwen away from a gagging Cody and lifted her in the air.

Chris stood there, the megaphone in one hand and the other on his hip. He was staring at the mud-stained campers with a raised eyebrow.

"People pay a lot of money to see mud wrestling, but as fun as that would be, I think the water bill for cleanup showers would be too much."

As the campers grumbled and released their opponents, some of them noticed who was holding Gwen up in the air.

"Owen?" Trent looked shocked as he approached the giant guy. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," Owen said as he dropped Gwen in the mud with a wet splash, "I'm an intern now!" He proudly thrust out his chest, covered by a white shirt that said 'Intern' in big bold letters.

"You see," Chris said into his megaphone as Trent helped a mud-soaked Gwen up, "there wasn't enough interns for this bonus season, so we had to hire Owen here. He's been really good at helping prepare for our second challenge!"

Noah scoffed aloud at this. "So when you said 'and you can't come back, ever,' you basically meant 'see you tomorrow'?" "No! Now go shower and meet me at the stage that we used for the talent show, you guys are filthy!"

Heather shoved Beth as she got up, only for the farm girl to throw mud at the back of the queen bee's head.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Have any doubts it would return?)**

Heather - \coated in mud\ "I want to know just why the producers chose to have these... these... calling them nerds would be insulting, even to nerds. Who's interested in seeing these sad degenerates? Ugly pig-girls like Beth and the early Halloween costume known as Gwen are not worthy to be seen in public, much less on TV."

Trent - \coated in mud\ "This camp feels ready to blow. And yick, whoever gave me that wet-willie sure got his fingers in deep."

Izzy - \still in a tight black jumpsuit\ "After a close examination of Sadie's room by viewing through the window, I'm pretty sure it's not her who's smuggling illegal jellybeans. Then it hit me this morning! Duncan is a career criminal! I will hound him down and expose him like the jellybean smuggler he is!"

* * *

After everyone had showered, the twenty-one campers were standing on the talent show's stage. Chris stood up at them, looking over as if they were under a heavy inspection.

"I have a confession to make to you all," Chris said, grinning once more. "I planned for a fight to break out there, with the mud. And the sides that were taken merely proved a great theory of mine!"

"That those raised with pigs like the mud as much?" Heather remarked, smirking at Beth. The shorter girl stuck her tongue out at her in reply.

"Nope! That these teams aren't going to work because you have too many cool kids with the social outcasts," Chris announced.

Owen, who was standing next to him, laughed out loud. "You mean you're going with the first idea, Chris?"

"Indeed, Owen! Henceforth, cool people like Courtney and Heather will no longer be on the same team as nerds like Noah and Harold!"

"Good," Courtney and Heather shouted. Noah crossed his arms and scowled.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Have any doubts it would return?)**

Noah - "So, Chris thinks the smart people aren't good enough to sit with the popular girls like Heather? Well, my feelings aren't hurt, if he thinks that is a huge insult. Because I know we're better."

\He gets mad and points at the camera.\ "You hear that, popular girls of the world? Without smart people, you wouldn't have your cell phones or your sleek cars! You think the jock you made out with underneath the bleachers came up with that stuff?"

* * *

Chris chuckled as scowls and smirks were shot from all angles. "The two teams are going to be divided by yours truly into a popular kids' team and a nerds' team. The nerds will be know as..."

He gestured to Owen, who whipped out a small remote and pressed the first button on it. A rolled-up banner on the right side of the stage unrolled with a burst of confetti.

"... The Freaks 'n Geeks!" The banner proudly displayed the name, as well as a drawing of a pair of glasses.

"Oh, that old cliché?" Noah said, shaking his head and rubbing his forehead with a finger. "Why do you have to stereotype intelligence with glasses? Could you be more offensive?"

"And for the popular kids," Chris continued, ignoring Noah, "we have the Cool Kids' Club! And to prove how cool they are, we coolly replaced the C's with K's!"

When the second banner was revealed, the campers gasped in collective horror.

"CHRIS MACLEAN," Leshawna roared, rolling up her sleeves and heading towards the stage.

The host seemed confused until he looked up at the banner. "Oh sweet crap," he whimpered. "Owen, take it down! Take it down!"

The big guy leapt up and grabbed it, tearing down the offensive banner and half of the stage's curtain with it.

"That's going to provoke a LOT of angry e-mails," Chris muttered to himself. He then felt Leshawna hissing behind his back.

"And a couple of angry fe-males," the large sister snapped.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We aren't as offensive.)**

Leshawna - "Truth be told, I wasn't really that mad. I just hate how that man doesn't plan ahead."

Geoff - "That can only be described with the most offensive word I know: uncool."

* * *

Gwen rolled her eyes as Chris nervously chuckled at them. "You filmed it, buster, you only have yourself to blame."

"Ehehe, right you are, Gwen. Anyway," Chris said, grinning but his face still etched with worry. "Let's start splitting you up.

"For the Cool Kids' Club, we are going to have, and this should shock no one, the hot chicks known as Heather and Lindsay!"

The two girls walked over to the left side of the stage where Owen was gathering up the ripped banner and curtain. "Thank you, Chris," Heather said with an upturned nose. "It's nice to see you know where someone like me truly belongs," and Owen farted right behind her.

"Sorry!" Heather gagged and Lindsay pinched her nose.

"And who's more popular than the athletes," Chris continued. "Tyler, DJ, and Bridgette, you three are with the Cool Kids' Club! Trent and Geoff, you ooze popularity. Justin, you're too hot not to be in the spotlight. Courtney and Leshawna, you ladies in charge are so Cool Kids' Club material too."

The campers all headed over to the left side, Leshawna casting Chris one more furious look. Trent looked happy until he realized Gwen wasn't with him.

"Wait, Chris," he called out to the host. "What about Gwen?"

"You actually think a goth girl would be with the popular kids?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Unbelievable," Trent said, crossing his arms in a huff. "He cannot just split us up like that." He turned to his teammates for some assurance, but the first people he saw were Tyler and Lindsay making out. Leshawna patted the musician's shoulder in comfort.

"And now the Freaks 'n Geeks," Chris turned to the others. "And you know who you are!

"Cody, Noah, Harold and Ezekiel, need I say more? Beth and Gwen, you're social rejects. Duncan, you're socially unacceptable. Izzy, you're Izzy. Eva, you're Eva. Katie and Sadie, you're in your own world."

None of the campers sent to the right side of the stage looked happy with what Chris was saying about them. Beth looked devastated, Gwen and Eva were glaring at the host, and Izzy could burn a hole in the back of Duncan's head with the intense stare she was giving him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Would more than likely be in the Freak 'n Geek team.)**

Heather - "I'd like to say now, Chris's taste and judgment have vastly improved since the first season."

Duncan - "What's with putting me with the nerds, Chris? I'd be popular at high school, do you doubt that? DO YOU?!"

Ezekiel - "I don't see how I can be considered a nerd when I've never even been to school, eh." \stares down at the ground for a few seconds, then sighs\

Gwen - "Who gives a damn about popularity except rich, spoiled brats like Heather and Lindsay? I'll show that pack of stuck-up snobs!"

* * *

"We'll show that pack of stuck-up snobs," Gwen shouted, throwing her fists in the air, "and you know who you are!"

"The first contest will be an Opposite Profession challenge," Chris announced. "The Cool Kids' Club will be performing the all-time nerd-favorite activity: bottle rockets!"

While Heather and Courtney started shouting protests, Cody and Harold looked very upset.

"I wanted to do that," Cody complained. "I once made one that was seen from a passenger window on an airplane!"

"Really?" Beth asked, impressed. "How did you know they thaw it?"

"My mom said she got my message after her plane landed."

Chris headed over to the Freaks 'n Geeks. "Since the Cool Kids' will have to make three impressive enough bottle rockets, the nerds will have to do something they won't be able to do normally: three of you will have to pull off the popular kid look!"

The Freaks 'n Geeks looked at each other, and shrugged. "We can do that, easy," Noah replied.

"Oh, big nerd thinks he's good enough to pass off the look?" Heather called out to him. "You all look like Halloween costume leftovers!"

"Careful not to explode those bottle rockets in your face," Cody launched back at her.

"Nerds," Chris called out over the shouting, "you'll find all kinds of clothing and make-up in the communal washroom! Popular kids, you'll find the supplies for bottle rockets by the boathouse. Now go out there and make it happen!"

* * *

Beth shuffled through the clothes on the rack inside the communal washroom. "Thome of these clothes are really neat! I bet anyone could wear them, and they'd be popular within a day!"

"Yeah, keep dreaming, kid," Duncan replied as he leaned against a wall, smirking at the little girl. "We aren't going to be sending just anyone up there."

"I know I'm not, eh," said Ezekiel, who was busy looking at the make-up kits that were around the sinks. "I could have clothes that would make Quasimodo popular, but I couldn't pass the look."

He stopped when he came upon a curling iron, and picked it up in curiosity. "Is this a branding iron? When did branding become popular?"

"That's a curling iron, you redneck," Gwen said to him, snatching the object away from him. "You use it to curl your hair."

"Oh. I just thought with piercings and tattoos being popular, branding couldn't be that far off."

Gwen actually smiled at this. "Hmm, now that I think about it, I love the thought of the cool kids burning themselves to prove how cool they are. Good job, Ezekiel, you started up a killer fad!"

"Emphasis on 'killer,' I'd say," Noah remarked. He was reading his book once again, not very interested in the contest. Eva, already pissed about being put with the nerds, snatched the book from him and tossed it away. "Hey!"

"Listen, Shakespeare," she snapped at Noah, jabbing him in the nose with her finger, "you are going to help us win this thing. I don't want to lose to Heather and the rest of those spotlight junkies!"

"How rude," Katie said, diverting her attention from the clothes. "Not everyone in the Cool Kids' Club is a jerk, you know."

"Yeah, like Justin," Sadie remarked, then swooned at the thought of him. "He can be such a sweet guy. Did you know he volunteers to help at an elderly house?"

"Thrills," Eva replied, unimpressed. "Now who's going on that stage?"

"Why not you, eh?" Ezekiel suggested. Most of the teenagers in the communal washroom gasped in horror.

"WHAT?" the weightlifter bellowed, then grabbed Ezekiel by the collar and shook him. "You making fun of me, buddy?"

"I-yi-yi-yi-yi," was all Ezekiel could say in reply as the muscular girl shook him.

"I'm sure it was just a random thing to say," Izzy said. She was painting little spirals on her fingernails. "After all, girls can pull off popularity better than boys can. Girls merely need less cloth on their bodies, it's what my mom says makes popularity. This one girl wore, like, three kleenex to school, and she became Prom Queen."

Eva dropped Ezekiel, and simply walked away in disgust. "Well, whatever, I'm not dressing up like some popular brat. I'm not Heather."

"I've been studying popularity for some time," Beth said, smiling proudly and revealing her braces. "I know what the popular girls wear, and I think I can really get a good luck going."

"Me too," Cody spoke up, and he high-fived Beth. "Beth and I can win this thing."

"Oh sure, the guy who became an internet sensation overnight and didn't know it for six months is going to tell us on how to be popular," Duncan remarked, rolling his eyes.

"Well, you're not exactly in that department, unless popular equals Canada's Most Wanted," Noah replied.

"People," Gwen shouted, standing in the center and holding up her hands. "We're losing focus, and getting ready for another fight. Now let's stay focused! We all have one goal in common here, let's keep to that!"

"What's that goal?" Sadie asked.

"We want to show we can look more popular than Heather!"

The eleven campers let out a cheer and raised their fist in the air.

* * *

"We are not going to lose that pack of nerds, rejects, and freak-shows," Heather shouted to the others. "So we are going to win this first contest, no matter how childish and immature it is to make these third-grade science projects!"

"Heather is right," Courtney spoke up, crossing her arms and looking as important as possible. "Now, do any of you know how to make these?"

While most of the members of the Cool Kids' Club shook their heads, Trent's hand went up immediately. "Made a lot of them when I was a kid," he said. "I'm sure I can make one now."

"Good," said Heather. "Make three, and we're set!"

"No no no!"

Chris popped in, startling the campers. "I forgot to mention! The rules are that the three bottle rockets must be made three different people! So Trent makes his own, and he cannot help the other two!"

And with that, the host ducked out again, leaving Heather and Courtney flabbergasted. The ravenhaired queen bee growled and threw her hands up in the air.

"Fine then! Anyone else make these stupid things?" she shouted.

Leshawna raised her hand, though she looked very uninspired. "I've made quite a few with my siblings, but I see no reason to help you out."

Heather gnashed her teeth while Courtney approached the large sister. "Look, I know you're still mad and all about that banner," the C.I.T. said, "but we should act as a team. Heaven only knows what might happen if we lose, Chris always has nasty surprises in store."

"Courtney's right," Heather said, patting the tan-skinned girl's shoulder, "so, Leshawna, what do you say? Help the team, or let us lose?"

"I say," Leshawna replied, glaring resentfully at the queen bee, "who's going to be the third person to make a bottle rocket?"

"Geoff," Courtney turned to the party animal, who almost flinched when he heard his name, "you must have launched a few of those! Don't they have that kind of stuff at your wild parties?"

"You kidding?" Geoff laughed and smiled good-naturedly at Courtney. "Parties are about music and soda and pools and stuff, not about bottle rockets."

Courtney let out an angry cry and stomped her foot. "How can you not? I thought a party gag was about exploding liters of soda!"

"That's the breath mint trick, Court," Geoff replied, "but we don't have any of those. I think it was Harold who could do that trick best."

The blond cowboy nudged Bridgette and said, "He did it with this liter at one of Peter's parties, and I swear, the foam spurted all over the room! Everyone was drenched in root beer, and it was so hilario-"

"Wait, what?!" Courtney shouted, stomping over to Geoff. "Harold? What does that dweeb have anything to do with your parties?"

Geoff looked like he had been trapped. "Um, didn't you know? It turns out Harold only lives an hour from me."

"And I suppose you invite him to your parties?" the C.I.T. looked ready to pounce.

"Oh yeah. He's been so cool and he's changed a lo-"

Courtney pounced. Bridgette and Justin had to pull the brunette off Geoff while she was yelling, "Traitor! Worm! Backstabber!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Safe from communist attacks.)**

Courtney - "Okay, so I overreacted. A little. But can you blame me? He was inviting Harold to his parties, _Harold_! He knew that slimy geek cheated to kick me off the island, and he was being buddies with him? Geoff is now on my unofficial enemies list."

Bridgette - "Courtney has been going berserk with every mention with Harold, but I didn't think she'd go at Geoff." \She looks around nervously.\ "Don't anyone tell her this, but I actually think she's overreacting and being unfair to Harold. He is not a bad guy."

Heather - "I think I'll go for Courtney to be one of my allies. There's no reason for her to hate me, and if I play my cards right, she'll be by my side."

* * *

"Kill him later, hon," Heather said as she patted Courtney's shoulder. The brunette girl was panting and glaring at Geoff after the rest of the group had pulled her away.

"Well, about... the contest...," Courtney said between pants, "we still need to decide who the third person is going to be."

After asking all of the members of Cool Kids' Club, it turned out that only DJ had had previous experience with bottle rockets. The big guy was a little nervous as he was handed the props.

"Did you not hear me?" he whimpered. "I said the last time I made one, it blew up in my face!"

"Oh, grow a backbone. You're the only one who can do this, DJ," Courtney snapped at him. "We won't lose this challenge anyway, but please, do your best! That's all we ask."

DJ nodded and looked over Geoff, who gave him a thumbs-up. "Alright," the gentle giant said after a deep breath, "I'll try not to let anyone down."

The Cool Kids' Club team let out a loud cheer for morale, then watched as Trent, Leshawna, and DJ began working on their bottle rockets.

* * *

"So, who is going to be going on-stage then?" Duncan asked aloud after the Freaks 'n Geeks spent about fifteen minutes going through the clothes and make-up.

"Actually, Sadie and I have been dithcuthing that," Beth, who popped up under a pile of discarded clothing. "We think it would be best for two girls and one guy to go on thtage."

"A guy?" Duncan asked, raising his eyebrows. Before he could say more, Izzy was in front of him, wiggling her spiral-painted fingernails right in his face.

"You're getting sleepy," she cooed, "very very sleepy..."

The criminal smacked her hand away, and looked over at Beth. "Why a guy? Wouldn't it be easier to get three girls to dress up hot?"

"Beth and I think that would be a bad idea," Sadie replied, helping Beth out from the pile of discarded clothing. "If we do that, Chris might mark us down because he'll see us as not trying."

"What's your twin think of that?" Duncan asked with a smirk.

"Katie's busy checking the clothes," Sadie replied, jerking her thumb behind one of the clothes racks, where a flimsy blouse came flying from. "She's the clothes expert, she'll pick out the best clothes."

"Whatever," Duncan started to clean his nails with his pocket knife. "Who's the guy going to be? Me?"

"I don't think eyebrow piercings and mohawks are what the dreamy guy of high school have," Noah remarked.

"No, they aren't," said Cody.

"Definitely not," said Gwen

"Mohawks are what headhunters have," Izzy remarked, shooting Duncan a nasty look. "And they also have piercings!"

"Fine, fine," Duncan shouted, glaring at his teammates. "Then who? Homeschool boy? Harold?"

"I was thinking," Katie said, popping out from being the clothes rack, "Noah."

The others, especially Noah, looked surprised by this. "Why him?" Eva asked, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, why me?"

"Because only you can pass off the look that you know you're better than anyone else but still be acting cool," Katie said, then she grinned and held up a red, faux leather jacket. "Plus, you would look _really_ good in this!"

Noah raised an eyebrow at the jacket. "Oh, well, if you insist," he replied, shrugging and looking nonchalant.

"Who will the girls be, eh?" Ezekiel asked, taking a careful step away from Eva.

"How about Sadie?" Katie asked, grinning at her friend.

"Awww, thank you," Sadie cooed back.

Eva cleared her throat loudly. "Look, I'm going to be blunt here," she said, then poked Sadie's hip. "This plus-sized girl is not going to pass if she tries strutting on the stage."

Katie and Sadie glared at Eva, who scowled right back.

"This is getting us nowhere," Gwen shouted. "Stop arguing, and pick two girls!"

"How about you, Gwen?" Ezekiel asked, smiling politely. Cody almost leapt in the air as he seconded the option.

"Thanks, guys," she said, not really sounding grateful, "but I'm not popular, and never will be."

"That leaves us Katie, Beth, and Izzy," Cody listed, looking crestfallen. "Gwen, you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure! I hate trends, you know that," the goth girl replied, leaning against the counter. "Just pick two of those girls."

"Well, I think Katie could pass it," Harold said, smiling at the tan-skinned girl, "and she knows so much about clothes, she knows what looks good on her." Sadie and Katie let out cheers, and started to dance. Eva barked at them to get back to work, and they quickly did.

"Who else then? Beth or," Duncan started, but stopped when a certain girl pulled on his spiked collar and breathed directly on his neck as she looked in. "IZZY!!"

"You'd like Izzy?" Cody asked, who was distracted as he was helping Katie picked stuff out for Noah.

"I don't think that'd be a bad choice," said Ezekiel.

"Wait, are you kidding?" Eva shouted, pointing at the redhead who was now whistling innocently and walking away from Duncan. "Crazy girl?"

"Just because we know thee acts crazy doesn't mean thee cannot look this part," Beth said, taking Izzy by the wrist.

"Wait, wha wha wha?" Izzy looked startled as Beth started holding different shirts in front of her. "You want me to dress up and pretend to be a popular girl?"

"Why not?" Gwen asked, now grinning despite herself. "You're cute, Izzy."

"You've got great green eyes," Harold said.

"Beautiful reddish-orange hair," Katie remarked.

"You sure can pass off the attitude that no one will ever get you," Duncan replied, smirking.

"I don't want to do this if the evil criminal thinks it's a good idea," Izzy said suddenly, stepping away from Beth. "He has bad ideas."

"_I_ have bad ideas?" the criminal shouted, taking umbrage. "You're the wanted one, girl!"

Izzy was about to storm out of the washroom before Cody stepped in front of her. The geek placed her hands on her bare shoulders, and gave her that sly (he was really hoping it looked sly) grin.

"Izzy Lizzy," he said, rolling out the words, "if any girl can pass off this look, it's you. You have the mysterious element, that sense of wildness that makes you fun, and a self-reliant nature that shows guys you are in charge!"

The redhead looked around, unsure. The geek bit his lower lip, then grinned again. "And," he continued, "we all know how the lady secret agents are the hottest and most successful women on the planet."

" 'Secret agents'?" Gwen repeated, looking rather confused.

Izzy now grinned that face-wide grin of hers and cackled. "Secret agent! That's me! I'm the baddest of the bad! Woohoo!"

She bolted over to Katie, and lifted the thin BFFF up. "Let's make me a sexy woman, girls and girls!"

--

A few hours later, the two teams were in front of the stage again. DJ, Trent, and Leshawna were on-stage with Chris, while Izzy, Katie, and Noah were hidden backstage.

"Welcome to the first battle of the nerds against the popular kids," Chris shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. "Let's get it up for the Cool Kids' Club, and their bottle rockets!"

The members of the Cool Kids' Club applauded, though Tyler was had his hands full, what with Lindsay being in his lap.

"First off with the bottle rocket presentation, Trent!"

The musician grinned, then pulled the string on his bottle rocket. With a powerful blast, the plastic bottle shot high into the sky. Right after the bottle rocket was out of human sight, it smacked a chubby blue bird and then fell back to earth.

"Well done, Trent," Chris said as he applauded. "That went up really high! One point for the Cool Kids' Club!"

Leshawna then released hers; however, it didn't go upwards. With a sudden jolt to the side, the rocket nearly hit Chris in the head, if he hadn't ducked in time. The bottle smacked Owen in the side of the head, and the jolly giant fell down like a ton of bricks (weighing almost as much).

"Oops," Leshawna squeaked.

"That thing almost killed me," Chris shouted. "Not cool! DJ, you're up next!"

"What about Owen?" Bridgette called out, looking concerned.

"He'll be fine, he gets hit in the head a lot."

"Yeah, I do," Owen spoke up, rubbing his sore head.

DJ nodded, looking very nervous. He pulled the cord on his bottle rocket, and it exploded in his face. With a high-pitched scream, the football player leapt away and landed on Owen's large stomach.

After Chris stopped laughing, he replied, "Well, Cool Kids, I'm sorry to say that you only earn one point from Trent!"

Trent sighed and slapped his forehead, then went to go help a shaky DJ off of the stage.

--

**(Confession Cam - You'll never find a platypus in here.)**

Owen - \with a bruise on the side of his face\ "That was pretty awesome, regardless of the bottle rocket to my face! Actually, that was cool too! I love this job! Woohoo!" \He pauses, then looks nervously at the camera.\ "Um, am I allowed to use this too?"

Chef Hatchet - "So the fatso gets to be an intern? Where's that leave me? Mark my words, there will be war. Oh yes, there will be war."

--

"Now," Chris shouted as Owen walked off the stage, a little woozy still, "it is time for the nerds to show off their talents! Can they pass off the cool look? What do you think, Cool Kids?"

The team members of the Cool Kids' Club let out loud boos and jeers. As the Freaks 'n Geeks try to cheer over them, Eva lost her temper and chucked one of the spare high heels from the communal washroom's clothes; it smacked Geoff on the side of the head.

"First up is Noah," the handsome host said before walking off the stage.

The egghead walked onto the stage, smirking slyly. He was wearing that red, faux leather jacket with a low-collar shirt. His jeans were loose-fitting, dark brown boots, and a couple silver rings.

"Ladies," he said, tapping his fingers on his crossed arms, "who's coming to the party at Geoff's house? Might be boring, but I'm sure we can find other ways to enjoy ourselves."

With a flip of his hair, he pointed at the audience and walked off without looking back.

"Okay," Chris said at the side, failing to hold back suppressed laughter, "forgetting that that was Noah, I think he looked pretty good. I think I'll to see the next person: Katie!"

The thin BFFF walked onto the stage, strutting a little too much. Her pigtails were down, and her hair was elegantly draped around her hair. She applied a fine trace of eyeliner, blush, and lipstick. Her clothes were the biggest difference, since it was no longer the twin set she wore with Sadie.

Katie's sleeveless white shirt was tight on her thin frame. Her pink bubblegum pants (which, to the fashion-challenged like Ezekiel, looked like vinyl) shone in the light, and she tapped her slim, black heels.

"Why hello," she purred, stroking her collarbone with a sly sense that no one had ever seen on Katie. "Did you hear that Sadie is taking Justin to the prom? Rather _big_ surprise, seeing as how they've only been going out for, like three weeks."

She strutted off-stage, waving good-bye over her shoulder with extra drama. After she left, Chris looked around the curtain onto the stage.

"Was that Katie?" he asked the audience. "Seriously... wow.

"Okay, I still want to see how you nerds did up Izzy! If I'm impressed, the nerds take the first challenge! Izzy, you're up!"

The redhead walked out on the stage, slow but graceful. She smirked, ever so sly, shiny from the pink lip gloss. Izzy ran a finger through her hair, which was no longer frizzy and instead has a silken shine.

Her green shirt was four diamonds, covering her breasts (barely) and creating a bare diamond over her stomach. Her aoi cache pants, exposing her legs where the pockets should have been, were tight on her lithe frame. Clicking her light green heels, she bat her emerald eyes.

"Hey boys," she purred, then winked at Owen. He swooned and fainted, causing a small tremor. "Ah, same reaction as always."

She curled a strand around her finger, blew a kiss to the crowd, then turned around and walked away, saying, "Sorry I cannot stay, but I have more important business elsewhere. Until we meet again, Mr. Bond."

Chris blinked, then forcefully closed his jaw. "An impressive sight, if only for the incredulous fact that that was Izzy! Though I don't know what she meant by Bond, the nerds win! Victory for round one goes to Noah, Katie, and Izzy!"

The Freaks 'n Geeks cheered, jumping and whooping. The Cool Kids' Club slumped in defeat.

* * *

**(Confession Camera - Do you think we're sexy? Please say yes.)**

Heather - "Now I'm really mad. Chris handed the nerds that win because they could put fancy clothes on that egghead and the psycho hosebeast. They wouldn't know good fashion if it smacked them in their ugly faces."

Izzy - \still in her popular get-up\ "Now that Cody has given me inspiration, I can continue to search Duncan for those illegal jellybeans! That man is going down! Wheee!"

Duncan - "I know I should be happy that we won the first round, but I have this really creepy feeling that things are going to get difficult for me. ... I mean us!" Lindsay - "I think Jonah looked rather nice, Katlyn was okay, but Fizzy looked really good! I just wish I could have been up there! Or tried the bottle rocket thing, and..." \rubs her hands together mischievously\ "... maybe I could hit Heather in the head with one!"

Chris Maclean - "Be sure to stick around! Part two of Nerds vs. Popular Kids will be coming soon!

* * *

**Part 2 coming soon!**

* * *

--

--

--

Fashion for TDI is rather popular, so I gave it a whirl. You may feel free to laugh at me, because I have as much fashion as Ezekiel does.

For a quick reference, here are the current teams:

**Cool Kids' Club** - Heather, Lindsay, Trent, Justin, Geoff, Bridgette, Courtney, Tyler, Leshawna, DJ

**Freaks 'n Geeks** - Cody, Noah, Harold, Beth, Izzy, Gwen, Duncan, Ezekiel, Katie, Sadie, Eva


	6. Day 2, Part 2: Even We Are Offended

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. No words, numbers, symbols, and/or htmls were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

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* * *

**Chapter 06 (Day 02, Part 2)** - Major Insult to Injury

"Our next contest will be one that is something both sides of the spectrum here are good at," Chris said to the campers. They had gathered around in front of the cabins, the Freaks 'n Geeks on the left side and the Cool Kids' Club on the right.

"It's the Insult Wars! There will be five insult fights between a member of the teams.

"You can win via three ways: one, you let loose an insult so good that I name you the victor, two, your opponent physically attacks you, or three, your opponent starts swearing profusely."

"This'll be easy," Noah remarked, smirking and eyeing the popular kids. "I am actually enjoying this competition!" He then high-fived Harold as Beth nodded eagerly.

"Can I insult Heather?" she asked her teammates, bouncing up and down. "I can thmoke her!"

"Actually, boys and girls," Chris said, "I will be picking the five members of your team, and who they will be facing!"

Noah's happy look was gone immediately. "Oh. Well, fine then. Who are you picking?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Noah's second favorite place, first being in front of a computer.)**

Noah - "Yeah, I knew Chris wasn't going to pick me then. He has this thing were he won't select the same member of a team twice unless he can help it. My first concern was that he would pick Heather _and_ Leshawna, who I know are great at degrading people. Then I realized if he picked _her_, then our team would be screwed for sure."

* * *

Noah quickly stood between Eva and Chris. The weightlifter noticed this, and grabbed the egghead's shoulder. "Move it, bookworm," she hissed.

"Not unless you want Chris remembering you're on this team and picking you," Noah replied. Eva growled, and grabbed the smart-aleck's shirt. Before she could throw him aside, he added, "Do you want to go out there with people insulting you and being disqualified if you punch them?"

Eva realized the logic in this, despite her rage, and let go of Noah. She tried to hide herself better behind Noah, but the guy was rather skinny.

"First off will be," Chris scanned the nerd team, "Harold!"

"Yes," he said and pumped his fist.

"And for the popular kids, we will have Heather against him!"

The queen bee laughed as she looked at Harold. "That's not a challenge, Chris, it's a warm-up."

"Second match will be Lindsay and Sadie," the host continued.

The two girls exchanged looks across the campground, and gasped in horror. Katie patted her friend's shoulder but it didn't calm the larger girl down.

"Third match will be Bridgette... against Cody!" While Bridgette smiled with confidence, the brunette boy looked like he had been punched in the gut.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Like a monster truck you can pour into your face.)**

Cody - "He wants me to degrade a girl? A hot girl? A hot girl with a great personality? Why not ask Michelangelo to stomp on a painting? Or Bach to smash a piano? This looks bad for me."

* * *

"Fourth will be Duncan and Courtney!" The two mentioned and exchanged looks. Courtney grinned wickedly at the punk, while Duncan smirked right back at the C.I.T. with a click of his tongue.

"Easy," they both said.

"And finishing up will be...," Chris looked in-between the two teams. He considered those that would be interesting to watch try to endure an insult fight or try _to_ insult: Eva, DJ, Leshawna, Beth, Noah, Ezekiel, and Geoff came to mind.

Then he saw Trent and Gwen wave at each other, and smirked evilly.

"And the fifth contest will be Trent and Gwen."

"WHAT?" the two shouted. Thunderstruck didn't scratch the surface of how they looked.

"That's right, it's time for the two of you to discuss your relationship," Chris replied to their horrified (and furious, in Gwen's case) looks.

"Wait wait wait, Chris," Trent approached the host. "You said it was five insults fights! Does that mean three out of five wins?"

"Indeed it does, actually," Chris's evil grin became less evil but just as mocking. "If your team gets to three wins before the fifth round, you two will not have to do any insulting.

Trent and Gwen were on their teammates in a heartbeat.

"Heather, I know I can on you to be vicious," Trent said, looking over at the queen bee, then he turned to Lindsay, "but Lindsay, can you be mean without cursing?"

"Silly, I'm not a cursing person," Lindsay said with a giggle. "It was a one-time thing with Heather."

"Courtney? Bridgette?" Trent asked the last two members, who nodded in reply.

"Don't worry, Trent, we won't let you insult your girlfriend," the surfer gal replied with a keen smile.

"What I want to know is," Leshawna said, looking at Courtney, "why ain't you pitching a fit over having to diss your man, Courtney?"

"Because he's _not_ 'my man,' I'll have you know," the tan-skinned girl replied, crossing her arms, "and I'd appreciate it if you didn't call him that."

"Whatev', girl," Leshawna said with a shrug. She turned to Heather, and walked right up in the queen bee's face. "And don't go throwing this match to spite them, you hear me? 'Cause if you do, I will-"

"Relax, Leshawna," Heather said, waving her hand in the tough girl's face. "As much as I would like to see that, I am not going to lose to that nerd."

"That nerd is _my man_, you lousy b-"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Insulting no one.)**

Heather - \Her eyes are wide in horror, but she shakes it off in a couple seconds.\ "_Boy_, does she know some nasty words. But, as surprising as this may be to her and others, I really had no intentions of throwing this game. I mean, c'mon, we all know those two would just stammer out pathetic criticism until Chris got fed up with it.

"This one is going to our team, easy."

* * *

"So, you all ready, eh?" Ezekiel asked his teammates.

Duncan nodded and cracked his knuckles. Harold quickly removed his finger from his nose and nodded. Gwen looked more ready for a firing squad.

"Don't worry," the prairie boy, who noticed Gwen's apprehension, placed his hand on her shoulder for comfort. "We aren't going to let that fifth match happen, Gwen."

The goth girl looked at the entrees for the fight. Cody was whimpering, and Sadie was chewing a fingernail off, the third one since her opponent was announced. She let out a defeated sigh, then shrugged. "I doubt it. Just... don't throw it for me, okay guys? Do your best!"

Cody, who saw Gwen looking directly at him, took this as a sign to prove his worth. "Okay then, Gwen," he shouted, looking ten times more confident. "We have this in the bag, I know it!"

"First up," Chris shouted, clapping his hands to catch the attention of the campers, "Harold and Heather! In the center, and come out insulting!"

With cheers from their teammates, the two walked towards each other. Heather looked like a professional entering her ring, while Harold's attitude was nonchalant.

"Well, if it isn't Harold, the alpha geek," Heather started, waving her hand in disgust at him, "I could smell the grease all over your revolting face before I could see you."

"Heather," was his reply, putting his hands on his hips, "heart as black as your hair."

"Is that _all_ you got?" she replied, laughing. "Seriously? That's all?"

" 'That's all'?" he said, his grin growing wider. "That's exactly what I asked myself when I saw your boobies in TDI."

The queen bee's gasp was almost a scream, her jaw dropping and eyes bugging. After a primal roar, she stomped her foot as she hissed air through her teeth. "You little snot, you puke, you-"

"That's enough, Heather," Chris replied; there were tears coming from her eyes as he clutched his sides. "Harold won with that last comment. One point for the Freaks 'n Geeks!"

The nerds let out cheers and high-fived Harold as he strutted back to his team. As Heather head back to her team, she had to resist kicking Leshawna, because the large sister was rolling on the ground, cackling uncontrollably.

"Second match, Lindsay verses Sadie," Chris said after he finally got his laughter down.

This one did not start off hot like the first one; in fact, it was the exact opposite. Lindsay and Sadie were exchanging awkward looks, and looking horrified to speak.

"Girls," Chris shouted, impatient now, "c'mon! Slander! Insult!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Nicer than Heather, really.)**

Lindsay - "I didn't want to say anything to my team about this, but I don't think I can bring myself to insult Sally. We bonded so much when we were forced to have bad hair on TDI, and I feel like I'd be insulting someone who's so special, I actually remember her name!"

* * *

Lindsay and Sadie managed to make eye contact. The blond girl let out a long sigh, then said, "Your... shoes. They're... dirty."

Sadie looked down at her shoes, and indeed, they had dried mud caked on the side. "Oh. Yeah, they are. Well um... you... kind of looked bad this morning when we were all woken up early," she struggled to say, then quickly said, "Not that that was your fault! Everyone looked bad!"

"Oh my gawsh," Lindsay said, smiling and popping one of her legs in the air. "You're so honest! That's so sweet!"

"Awww, thank you! You're the sweet one, though!"

Both Chris and Heather looked very upset by this, and the queen bee was the first one to cry out in frustration. "What are you doing, Lindsay?" Heather screamed. "You're supposed to insult her, not kiss up to her!"

"But," Lindsay replied, "but... what do I say? What's there to insult about Sally... no! Sadie!"

"You remembered my name?" Sadie squealed, and hugged Lindsay. "You are so nice!"

"Eeee, she is, isn't she?" Katie asked the other nerds, who looked at her like if she was going insane.

"How can you _not_ find something to insult her?" Heather yelled, stomping her foot. "Call her fat! Call her a squealing big! Say she's a clone based off an even more pathetic version of a human being!"

"Wait...," Sadie let go of Lindsay and glared at Heather, "what did you just say?"

Before Heather could reply, the larger BFFF charged right at her. Before she hit Heather with a body-tackle, she screamed, "Don't you dare insult Katie!!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - A lover, not a fighter.)**

Eva - \She is trying desperately not to laugh, biting her bottom lip. She fails, and burst out laughing, spit flying and hitting the camera.\

* * *

"Okay then," Chris said, after Sadie had been pulled away from Heather, "even though Heather was not her opponent in this fight, I think this qualifies as a win for the Cool Kids' Club. So, one point for them!

"Next match, Cody and Bridgette!"

The two headed for the center, where Cody immediately began stammering. "Umm... your ponytail looks like a banana!" Bridgette raised an eyebrow, as Gwen slapped her forehead. The surfer girl chuckled, and batted said ponytail.

"So Cody," she began, "are you going to ask for your two front teeth for Christmas?"

"When are you going to open your eyes all the way?"

"When are you going to go through puberty?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Wants nothing for Christmas.)**

Cody - "All I could think of was how pretty her eyes were, how her body was so sleek and athlete, and how hard this was for me! She was so cute, and so good at insulting, she made it look easy!" \sighs\ "I'm sure she was laughing at me deep down."

Bridgette - \hanging her head in shame\ "I felt so bad insulting Cody like that! How could I be so mean? How am I any better than Heather?" \She sniffs, then perks up.\ "No! I'm sure it was nothing to him! Besides, maybe this'll keep him from ever hitting on me."

* * *

"So, think you can 'bear' to stay in the contest this time?" Bridgette continued, smirking with her arms crossed.

"You are, um, fat?" Cody replied, crouched over and wringing his hands in worry.

"Okay, Cody, that's enough," Chris said, shaking his head and chuckling. "I really don't think this needs to go on any longer. It's obvious Bridgette wins this! So now it's two points for the Cool Kids' Club!"

The popular kids cheered as Bridgette ran back to her team, hugging Geoff in victory. Cody sulked back to his team, head hanging low.

"I'm sorry, guys," he said, sighing miserably. "I let you all down. I'm no match for real popularity," he shouted as he fell on his knees and pounded the ground.

"Oh, get up," Izzy said, yanking Cody up to his feet, "you're the Codester, remember? The Codester will prevail!"

Cody breathed in deeply and hugged Izzy in thanks. As Duncan and Courtney headed for the center, Gwen's look of fear intensified.

"Okay, princess, try hitting me with your best shot," Duncan shouted at the C.I.T., his cocky grin wide.

"Insulting your intelligence is like stepping on an ant," Courtney replied, crossing her arms and smirking, "it takes no effort."

"It takes all effort to get you to loosen up. That pole up your butt is so high, you could wave a flag on it."

"Oh! You are such an uncultured, filth-spewing petty criminal! There are things crawling in the sewer that are more civilized!"

"Last time I checked, you were the one who was into politics. Who's wading in sewage now?"

"You smell like you did!"

"You look like you did!"

"Arrogant gorilla!"

"Prissy peacock!"

"Stupid criminal!"

"Drama queen!"

The two teams watched as the exchange, swinging their heads back and forth. Eva slapped her forehead. "This is pointless," she growled, "it could go on for hours."

"They sure have a lot of issues, eh?" Ezekiel pointed out, looking away to talk to his teammates. "I cannot see why they are dating."

"Oh, I can," Izzy said, giggling and pointing her finger at the two competitors. Ezekiel looked back, and gaped.

Duncan and Courtney were all over each other. The punk had one arm around her waist, the hand close to her butt. He cupped her cheek with the other hand. She had her arms around his neck, and one leg wrapped around his. Kissing and moaning, the couple were going at it with such intensity, the campers were a little afraid it'd go to second base in front of them.

"Um, guys?" Chris called to them. "Guys! GUYS! Jeepers, man. Owen, go separate them."

As the happy oaf headed towards the two, Chef, who was watching from a short distance, growled and cracked his knuckles; his glare of hatred never left Owen.

Owen managed to pull apart the two, the sound of their lips parting was a lot like a plunger being pulled from a toilet. The large blond looked at the two, then at Chris. "Who wins, boss?"

"I think there is only one solution to this," Chris said. "Since they're both just as guilty, and we have to do three out of five, there's no way the nerds can win. So the Insult Wars go to the Cool Kids' Club!"

The popular kids, sans Courtney, burst out in loud cheering. Courtney was trying to catch her breath, and trying to miss Duncan's wide grin. Though the nerds were upset, Gwen was smiling.

"Missed a bullet there, huh?" Cody said to Gwen, who nodded. "Chris must be let down that he didn't get to fulfill his sadistic plan."

"Don't tell me you weren't hoping for it," the goth girl replied, casting him a daring look.

"What? Me?" Cody squeaked, looking very startled. "I _wanted_ you and Trent to get together when I realized you weren't all that interested in me."

"Ri-iiiiiiiiiight," she replied, turning away.

"C'mon, Gwen," Cody said to the back of her head. "You're being a little unfair. I'm not hitting on you anymore, and I'm happy for you and Trent! Besides, what could it do if you and Trent broke up?"

The goth girl turned around slightly to look at him, wondering if he truly was being sincere. "Are you telling me if Trent and I ever broke up, you won't be chasing me like before?"

"No, I wouldn't," Cody said, smiling and placing his hand over his heart, "because I remember the old saying of 'if you really care about someone, you'll let them go.' And so long as you prefer someone else, I'll be letting you go. It's easier on the Codester's heart to avoid rejection, ya know."

Gwen felt her frustration melt away like ice on a hot pavement. She had to look away from Cody as she muttered, "Oh, okay then."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We do it for love.)**

Gwen - \looking upset\ "Cody is like this terrible enigma to me, and I hope to God he never finds out about this, and it's that kind of puzzle that tears me up a little inside. I blow him off, he still smiles at me. I reject him, he helps me get along with Trent. I accuse him of hounding me, he insists he's happy for me. My mom told me that there are guys that'll say anything, and I truly want to believe Cody isn't one of those guys."

Cody - "Gwen really doesn't seem to trust me anymore." \He sighs and pulls a leg up on the seat to help prop his head up.\ "I really am happy to see her happy, the way that pale but pretty face lights up when she is with Trent. True, deep down there is a part of me that wishes it would light up for me, but that isn't possible. Chocolate sauce and steak are delicious things, but they do not go together. That's how life is."

\Cody pauses for a moment, then looks at the camera with big eyes.\ "Um, for the record, that was just two random foods. I'm not comparing Gwen and I to chocolate sauce and steak."

Owen - "Man, did you see Courtney and Duncan going at it? Like chocolate sauce on steak, those two are!"

* * *

The two groups were now standing outside the cafeteria. "Okay, Chris," Heather said, losing her patience, "what's the final challenge going to be?"

"Well, campers, most of you are sixteen or seventeen by now. Your senior year is approaching. For some, that means graduating with honors, and for others, it means where you ruled as queen or king, a new life is ahead of you.

"Others," Chris said slyly, looking directly at Duncan, "would be lucky if they were allowed into prom."

"Oh, prom," Duncan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and high in octave; all the girls were shooting him angry looks. "Ooo, the most special night of them all! Teeheehee, how magical it will be!"

"I'm glad you see it that way, Duncan, because tonight will be a warm-up for some of you! Tonight is Wawanakwa's Prom Night!"

He threw open the door to the cafeteria, and the groups walked in. The girls squealed in joy when they saw the lavish decorations. Along with the beautiful decor, the walls and floor had been painted black, the room was lit with soft lights, and there were a couple tables with refreshments, including a huge punch bowl and a cake with three layers.

Though the girls were all gaga, none of them could match Geoff's enthusiasm.

"WOOHOO," he shouted so loud that everyone jumped. "Prom night! Man, that is gonna be, like, the night that was _made_ for me! And now I'm gonna experience it twice!" He threw himself at Chris, hugging the host. "Thank you, Chris my man! Thank you!"

"Whoa, easy buddy," the handsome host replied, though he was smiling in return. "Tonight is specifically designed to be the worst case scenario of your own prom nights!"

"What do you mean?" Harold asked.

"Owen," Chris called out.

From the cafeteria came Owen, and he was dressed in a very stylish, white tuxedo. He posed a couple times, then winked at Izzy; she swooned and fell back, fortunately caught by Beth.

"There will be five boys and five girls, each wearing get-ups like Owen is wearing," Chris explained. "For the girls, we have this!"

Chef came out wearing a flowing white dress. Several campers screamed, which made Chef scowl more. He posed a couple times, then curtsied.

"Looking good, Chef my man," Owen said to him. Chef glared at him and punched his palm, making the large teenager flinch.

"Now as you can see," Chris continued, gesturing at Owen and Chef, "they are both wearing the whitest outfits you've ever laid eyes on, am I right?"

The campers, if they hadn't, did notice it then. Every bit of clothing on Owen and Chef, including the shoes, gloves, and corsage (in Chef's case) were pure white, so pure that it would have been blinding if the room was properly lit.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Leshawna asked, impatient. She had lost her thrill for prom night after seeing Chef in a dress.

"Let me explain," Chris said, his smirk growing. "As I said before, there are five boys and five girls. I've chosen them already, so the five pairs are going to be out there, enjoying the best night of their lives. Your partner, if you're going out there, will be a member of the other team."

"You mean we have to dance with the nerds?" Heather asked, looking horrified.

"How can you win then?" Gwen shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Well, first you need to know how to score," Chris remarked.

There was a silence. Owen's jaw dropped, and the girls went from surprised to enraged. Noah started to laugh, but stopped when the girls glared at him.

"What?" Chris asked, then looked back on what he said; he chuckled when he realized what he had said. "Oh, you weirdos, I didn't mean _that_! I meant how to score points for your team so that you can win this final contest!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Never got to go to prom.)**

Leshawna - "First the banner, now that remark! I swear, he is lucky I have a grip on my temper, or he'd end up more bloody than Carrie at prom night!"

* * *

"Will you girls stop glaring now?" said Chris, looking a little worried. "Now see, how to score _points_ is you must ruin your opponent's clothes more!"

"Come again?" Courtney asked.

"Observe closely, if you must do so again, the whiteness of what the guys and girls will be wearing," Chris said, sweeping his arm over to Owen and Chef. "You notice how white those clothes are? Imagine if you were wearing that at prom night, what would you fear the most?"

"Thtains?" Beth asked, waving her hand in the air.

"That's right, Beth, stains! And your job is to stain and ruin the pure white outfit of your opponents' more than they can yours! Whether it be punch, cake, spit, or any other dirty way to soil that white glory, you will be trying to do it!"

"Geez, why not give them a paintball gun?" Noah remarked. "Winner is whoever grabs that cake or the punch bowl first and dumps it on their opponent."

"Ah-ha, but that's obvious," Chris said, snapping his fingers. "In this challenge, you have to make every stain look like an accident, or you are disqualified! So there's no food fights or spray paint cans hidden in back pockets, just that horrid moment of when you knock red punch all over your date's white dress!"

Noah couldn't help but smirk. "Gotta say, Chris, this sounds delightfully evil."

"Remind me to never go with you to prom," Gwen said to him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Would never be Prom Can.)**

Gwen - "Prom night. What a waste of time. All the girls wear flimsy dresses, and the guys, as Chris put it, try to score. The only way _I'd_ go is if someone special asked me, simply because he wanted to dance with me. ... Yes, that would be Trent, did I even need to say it?"

Izzy - "I know _my_ prom will be eventful! I plan on being the disc jockey, and I'll make everyone do the hokey-pokey, the chicken dance, and the macerena! They'd be paying hundreds of dollars to dance to that!" /starts cackling maniacally then stops short/ "That'd be pretty mean, now that I think of it."

Cody - "Prom night! I truly cannot wait. I have fantasies that every girl in school would want to be my date for then. I'd just be satisfied knowing a girl would want to go with me and I wouldn't have to beg, ya know?"

Trent - "I actually had a couple senior girls ask me to the prom. Though flattering, I had to refuse, because one prom should be enough for me. And I know," \he grins\ "who I want to go with."

Duncan - "Damn school officials told me I cannot come to prom if I'm still on parole. What the hell do they think I'm going to steal at prom, someone's date?"

DJ - "I actually don't think much about prom night. But ever since I started dating this girl in my hometown, the thought of the magical night seems all the better. That may sound sissy, but when you have someone to take to prom, it's worth it."

Katie & Sadie - \Katie\ "Ohmigosh, Sadie! Do we have plans for prom night or what?" \Sadie\ "We sure do! We're gonna make our school nominate both of us for Prom Queen! We'll be the Prom Queens! But if there can only be one, you deserve it more!" \Katie\ "Awww! But you _so_ deserve it more!" \Sadie\ "No, you do, hee hee!"

* * *

Geoff was running around the cafeteria-turned-prom event, almost bouncing off the walls. Bridgette was giggling, while Chris watched him go.

"Man, I'd love to see what he's like at his real prom," Chris remarked. "Shame he cannot go with his real girl, huh?"

Geoff stopped like if someone hit the "pause" button on his remote. He ran back to Chris and cried, "Wait, you mean I cannot dance with Bridgette?"

"Well, maybe after the challenge, Geoff, but if you recall," Chris pointed at him then Bridgette, "you're on the same team!"

"Oh... dang," Geoff slumped, the spirit gone for a few seconds, then he perked up. "But this'll all be up after the challenge, right?"

"Yes, big guy, it'll be available to you all after the losing team's marshmallow ceremony," Chris said, patting his shoulder.

Geoff let out another earsplitting "woohoo" and practically glomped Bridgette. "You're my date, Bridge! We'll bring the cafeteria down!"

As Bridgette cheered and hugged him back, Chef growled, "You do and you're dead, cowboy."

"Now for the five couples," Chris announced. "Geoff, I think I'll pick you for the Cool Kids' Club, and your date will be..."

He scanned the Freaks 'n Geeks girls, only five total. "I think... to annoy as many couples as possible, you're going to be dancing with our local goth girl, Gwen!"

"What?!" Gwen shouted, looking from Geoff to Trent to Chris.

"Oh, come on, this is my way apologizing," Chris said.

"How the hell do you figure that?" She was very close to losing her cool.

"Because, if I paired you with Trent, his mission would be to ruin your dress and your night. See?"

Gwen crossed her arms and looked away, sulking. She felt an hand on her shoulder and thought it was Trent, but when she looked, it was Geoff.

"No problem, babe," he said, grinning. "This won't be personal or anything."

"You're winning this contest, Geoff," Heather shouted at him, and he flinched. Wincing, he smiled at Gwen again. "So come on, I may not be Trent, but will you be my date for prom?"

The goth girl looked as he extended his hand to her. She sighed, then forced herself to smile to return his politeness. "Sure thing, Geoff. Sorry I have to make this party as bad as possible."

"Aw heck, I've ruined more clothes at parties than I can recall!"

"It's true," Harold called to them. "This one party we were at, he lost his socks! I still don't know how he did it."

The brunette geek had to back away from Courtney, who was glaring at him something fierce. When Harold hid behind DJ, the C.I.T. redirected her glare to Geoff. "Don't you dare lose this challenge, traitor!"

"Courtney," Bridgette started, but was interrupted by Chris clearing his throat loudly.

"Guys, we're digressed quite a bit, I haven't even mentioned the second couple yet," he complained. "Which will be Trent from the Cool Kids' Club, and Eva from the Freaks 'n Geeks!"

Trent looked very nervous all of a sudden. He looked over at Eva, who was casting him a sideways glare; it was more unnerving that a couple guns pointed at him.

"Eva, no hitting your date," Chris said, much to Trent's relief. "All physical attacks, no matter how accidental you try to make them look, could result in disqualification."

"Whatever," she grumbled. Then something came to mind, and she almost let worry cross her face. "Wait a minute, does this mean I have to wear a dress?"

"Of course!"

"Then screw it, I ain't doing it!"

"Eva," Katie and Sadie said in protest, looking at her earnestly.

"No, I'm not wearing a dress," she shouted, clenching her fists. "I'd rather be smeared with chocolate and put in a fire ant colony! I'd rather drop a hornet's nest down my shirt! I will not, under any circumstances, wear a dress!"

"I'm afraid I cannot just pass the challenge onto someone else, Eva," Chris said, shaking his finger. "You see, we already have the dresses made for the sizes of the people we pick, and none of the girls are your size."

"Then you'll have something to burn at the marshmallow ceremony tonight, because I'm not doing it!"

"That would be an instant point for the Cool Kids' Club, if you drop out."

"Fine by me."

She started to head for the door, but Katie and Sadie ran in front of her. "No way, Eva," Katie shouted, looking furious. "You cannot just walk out on us."

"You want me to punch out, then?" Eva asked, slugging her palm and cracking her knuckles against it. Much to her surprise, Katie and Sadie did not move, nor did they look intimidated.

"We aren't putting ourselves at a disadvantage because you don't want to wear a dress," Sadie snapped at her, jabbing the weightlifter in the chest with one of her fingers.

"I ain't gonna do it, and there's nothing you can do to make me do it," Eva snarled, crossing her arms.

"Except of course, vote you off if we lose," Katie said, crossing her arms in return.

"_WHAT?_"

The whole cabin shook from Eva's voice, most campers had to clap their hands over their ears.

"You wouldn't dare," she continued, throwing her fists into the air. "The second one voted off the island!? Again?! I won't have that!"

"Then wear the dress, Eva," Katie said, smiling at the furious bodybuilder. "And win or lose, you can burn it afterwards."

"Um well, actually...," Chris started, but then shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. If that'll make Eva happy."

Eva looked like she was trying to decide between two different choices of death, then let out a long sigh. "Okay. Okay you two win. This time. I'll wear a stupid dress."

She walked back to her other teammates as Katie and Sadie exchanged victory high-fives. "I swear," the bodybuilder grumbled as she stood next to Noah, "they keep making challenges that never fit my skills."

"You're preaching to the choir, Eva," Noah replied.

"Moving along," Chris said, casting a nervous glance at Eva as if needing to make sure she wouldn't explode again, "the third group will be Sadie for the Freaks 'n Geeks, and Tyler from the Cool Kids' Club."

Katie and Lindsay gasped for different reasons. The thin BFFF hugged her friend and squealed. "You're going to prom with the star athlete, Sadie! It's what we dreamed of!"

The two started squealing, and it started to hurt the ears of their teammates. They only stopped when Noah shouted, "Knock that off, some people have sensitive hearing!"

Lindsay was clinging to Tyler. "But... but... Taylor is my boyfriend," she whimpered. "Please pick someone else, Chris!"

"Sorry, I cannot change the choices," Chris replied. "Taylor's gonna have to have Sadie spilling punch on him and such."

Lindsay pouted, but Tyler pulled her close. "I'll pretend it's you out there, spilling that punch on me, babe," he said to her.

"Awwwww, that's so romantic of you to say. Thanks, Tyler!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not a really romantic place.)**

Tyler - \sighs\ "I wish she could remember my name..."

* * *

"Fourth group is going to be Beth from the Freaks 'n Geeks, and," Chris's grin was almost as wide as Izzy's now, "from the Cool Kids' Club, I think her date will be Justin!"

Beth gasped, then gaped, then screamed in joy. Katie and Sadie joined in, and Noah started screaming at them to shut up. Justin, on the other hand, simply shrugged and smiled.

"You're welcome, by the way, Beth," Chris said with a chuckle. Heather made a loud gagging noise that was ignored by most everyone else.

"I'm going to prom with the hottest boy alive," Beth screamed in joy again, then gave Chris as big a hug as she could. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"And the final couple is one I'm really looking forward to watching," Chris shouted after Beth went back to her team.

"Oh boy, I can sense the possibilities," Gwen replied. She exchanged an eye-roll with Noah before continuing. "What did you think of... no wait, let me guess! Harold and Courtney? Lindsay and Cody? Izzy and... anybody?"

"What'd be wrong with Izzy with anybody, eh?" Ezekiel asked, looking confused.

"They'd go home in a body bag rather than the Boat of Losers."

Harold didn't want to say it aloud with Duncan nearby, but he was sure he would go home like that too if he was paired with Courtney.

"Think that'd be a point for us or them?" Ezekiel said to Gwen. She couldn't help but chuckle at that puzzler.

"Actually, those weren't bad ideas, but I still like mine," Chris remarked. "Bridgette, from the Cool Kids' Club, will be Ezekiel of the Cool Kids' Club's date!"

Ezekiel's eyes nearly bugged right out of his head, and he grabbed his toque in a panic as, it felt to him, all eyes were redirected towards him, including those light green eyes of Bridgette's.

"Erk," he replied.

"Yes, it's time to get ready for prom then," Chris shouted, clapping his hands and chuckling.

"Um, Chris?" Ezekiel tried to call out.

"This will be the best night you've ever suffered through! Now-"

"Chris?"

"Now, it is time for you all to prepare! Are there any questions?"

"Yes," Ezekiel shouted. The prairie boy leapt up and down, waving his hand in the air wildly; he looked a lot like Beth. "I cannot dance, eh, what am I gonna do?"

The host stared at him. "You don't have to know how to dance, this is prom, dude." He tapped his chin in thought, as if to ponder something. "However, I am giving each side thirty minutes to prepare the five members of their team. Your team can teach you how to if you want.

"Freaks 'n Geeks, you're in the communal bathrooms again; Cool Kids' Club, you'll find your stuff in the kitchen next to us. There, you will find your white suits and dresses, make-up for the ladies, and also a couple disposable cameras for those that want to remember their fake prom! Any more questions?"

"Who's the disc jockey?" Beth asked.

"We were planning Owen to pick the music, since, I gotta admit, some of this was his ideas."

Chef started to sulk off, grumbling to himself. He stopped when he heard Owen say, "Gosh, Chris, I thought Chef would be the disc jockey. He used to be one, right?"

"Oh yeah, that's right," the host said, scratching the back of his head. "You sure, big guy?"

"Yeah, pretty sure. Chef deserves to take part in the best night ever, right?"

The big, mocha-skinned man in the pretty white dress bolted over to Owen and hugged him, bawling like a baby. "Thank you, fat boy, thank you," he wailed as he buried his head in Owen's chest. The large teenager pat the cook's head and whispered comforting words.

"You two sure make a lovely couple," Noah said, a not-so-innocent grin on his face.

"As I said before, you have thirty minutes to prepare for Wawanakwa's Prom Night! Try not to get any stains on your white clothes before even making it back here! Now, teams, head out, beauty up, and come back here for dancing, dining, and a night to remember!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Never has someone to ask.)**

Ezekiel - \wide-eyed and freaking out\ "Dancing? With a girl? Who's taken? Chris wants me dead, I know it! Oh God, I cannot see how this will go well."

Bridgette - "Ezekiel looked like someone who was volunteering to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery. I've seen surfers chased by sharks who aren't as panicked. This could go either way, but in the end, I just hope he and Geoff are alright. Gosh, I hope Geoff won't be mad."

Geoff - "Prom night! Wooooo!! Prom night, awesome night! Man, I couldn't be more excited! I cannot wait until tonight when we get to really party! WOOHOO!"

Gwen - "I honestly think if Geoff gets any more excited, he'll break the sound barrier."

* * *

**Part 3 coming soon!**

* * *

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Your suggestions are being taken into consideration, just not all can be done (conflicting desires will be resolved by the most important person, the author, a.k.a. me).

Who will win the Wawanakwa's Prom Night? Here are the lovely couples who are anxious to smear chocolate cake on their dates, as a quick recall:

1.) **Sadie** (FnG) and/vs. **Tyler** (CKC).

2.) **Beth **(FnG) and/vs. **Justin** (CKC)**.**

3.) **Eva** (FnG) and/vs. **Trent** (CKC).

4.) **Ezekiel** (FnG) and/vs. **Bridgette** (CKC).

5.) **Gwen** (FnG) and/vs. **Geoff** (CKC).


	7. Day 2, Part 3: Our Prom Fight

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. No words, numbers, symbols, and/or htmls were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

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* * *

**Chapter 07 (Day 02, Part 3)** - The Best Nightmare Come True

"Ezekiel, will you relax? You're going to be dancing with Bridgette, not wrestle a bear!"

Katie was shaking the prairie boy by the shoulders. He had not calmed down since the Freaks 'n Geeks had returned to the communal restrooms. "But... but but... but-"

"Snap out of it," Sadie shouted, and gave him a shove from behind. Unfortunately, she didn't check her strength, and knocked the young man flat on his face. "Oops... sorry."

"Great, give him a bruised face for his first date," Noah said as he watched them. "You two aren't exactly mellowing him out by yelling at him. I suppose next you'll tell him we'll lose the whole thing if he doesn't calm down?"

"Noah, stop being such a jerk and help us out already," Gwen snapped at him, glaring as usual.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, sounding almost rhetorical. "I'm not exactly an expert on any field here."

"Then shut up and stay out of the way," Eva snarled at him. Ever since she had got back, she had taken the white dress that was obviously for her, and held it at arm's length; she hadn't managed to pull it any closer to her, as if she was afraid it was burn or bite her.

"None of you are exactly being cooperative," Duncan replied. He was leaning against the wall, smirking as he watched the five get ready. "But if any of the girls need help getting dressed, I'll be glad to cooperate."

The girls all glared at him, except for Beth who was putting on lip gloss. She puckered up, giggled, and then grabbed an eyeliner.

"You know that just increases the chance of you looking messy," Gwen told her as she watched.

"How? I'm not gonna wipe my mouth on my thleeve," Beth asked, looking genuinely confused.

"No, I meant the eyeliner. What if it runs?" "I will take that chance. Sadie is."

Gwen looked over that the larger BFFF, who was Katie getting ready. The thinner girl was helping zip up the pure white dress on her friend, and the two were talking nonstop now. They had obviously forgot about Ezekiel, who was now looking at his white tuxedo as if it was too sacred to touch.

He had also found a white toque on a small table, pure white as everything else; Chris really had thought of everything. "So, um...," he turned around to the others, "is it really important that I know how to dance?"

"Of course, dude," Cody almost shouted as he ran over to Ezekiel. "You're going out with a pretty girl who is going to expect you to live up to her expectations. The least you can do is prepare yourself."

"It's not a date, Bridgette is taken, she's fervently hoping she can humiliate him more, and his preparation involves plans on how to, if possible, spill oil on her white dress," Gwen pointed out as she retrieved her dress from the rack.

"Yeah, if you want to look at it negatively," Cody replied. "Look, Ezekiel, Chris said every spill or splash had to look like an accident. It won't look like an accident unless, while you're dancing with her, you dip her head into the cake."

"That's a great idea," Katie shouted, clapping her hands. "And you know what? I can give you some pointers on dancing! I showed Sadie how to dance!"

"Oh, that's so true," Sadie shouted, clapping as well. "I'm a great dancer now, thanks to Katie!

"So here's what we'll do," Katie said, taking the lead. "Ezekiel, get into your tux. Sadie, you'll be his partner when he's ready, and I'll give instructions.

"Gwen, put on a little eyeliner. You'll need to distract Geoff, we all know men can get distracted by a pretty girl's eyes staring at them."

The goth girl looked uncertain at first, then nodded. "True," she said, wincing as Beth helped zip up her dress.

"Beth, you and the others plan on how we can get the popular people to look like train wrecks. And Eva, for goodness sake, put on that dress!" The weightlifter growled, then sulkingly went into a shower stall for some privacy.

Ezekiel, in his white tuxedo, was holding hands with Sadie soon after Katie's instructions. The thinner girl told Ezekiel how to spin Sadie around, how to dip her (at which point, Ezekiel almost dropped the heavier girl), and how to perform a few other basic moves. The only problem was, Sadie wasn't the lightest on her feet, and said feet kept coming down on Ezekiel's.

"Sadie, he has to be able to walk to the prom," Eva commented as she watched them. The ravenhaired athlete was in her dress, which would have made her look enchanting; however, Eva's ugly snarl was a major off-put.

"I'm trying, sorry," Sadie apologized. She stopped after she, for the nth time, accidentally planted her foot on Ezekiel's.

"Ow! You keep stamping on my foot, eh," the prairie boy hopped away, leaning against the sink counter and wincing in pain.

"Well, it's your fault, you keep putting them under mine," said Sadie. She giggled, then looked guilty.

"Maybe it's for the best," Katie said, "Bridgette might stomp on your feet to distract you."

"I don't think she's that devious, eh."

"You're probably right, she's a really sweet girl," the thin BFFF said, smiling. "You're quite lucky to be her partner."

"I wish you'd all stop saying that. She's taken, eh."

"Geoff is so excited about this prom, I doubt he'll mind that much," Katie said with a giggle. She whirled around to the others, and barked out, "Any ideas yet?"

"A few," Noah replied. He and the others shared their ideas with their teammates, earning a lot of giggles and evil grins. Most of Izzy's suggestions had to be ignored, for very obvious reasons.

A knock on the door startled them, and Owen peeked his head in. "Two minutes, guys! Better head back to the cafeteria," he said before leaving.

"Okay, ready?" Katie said to the five contestants.

"Ready," they replied, and Eva and Gwen added, "unfortunately."

"Wait wait," Harold shouted. He was holding one of the disposable cameras in his hand. "I want to get a picture before you all get dirty!"

Most of the others groaned, looking rather annoyed by this. Harold frowned right back, and said, "You should remember this, at least this part right here, as a happy memory. Gosh! You're ready to go, you look great, why not celebrate with a picture?"

"Harold's right," Izzy shouted, jumping up and down. "Come on, you five white-wearing prom-goers, get together."

The five huddled together. Ezekiel squatted down in front of the four ladies, Sadie having her hand on his right shoulder, and Gwen's hand on his left. The larger BFFF had her left arm around Beth, and Gwen leaned against Eva.

"Smile," Izzy said. She had to glare at Eva and shriek, "You too, Eva! _NOW_," for the bodybuilder to smile along.

"Cheese," Harold shouted, then snapped a couple photos.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not a place for photography.)**

Eva - "Okay, I'll admit this to the Confession Cam, but not to them. I was actually... a little happy then. It was like I was part of something, and that we were going at it like a team. I hated that dress more than anything, but...," \she actually smiles\ "it was fun, in a way."

Cody - \swoons\ "Gwen looked so nice in her dress! ... No, Cody, don't obsess!" \he smacks himself\

Izzy - "I still don't understand why they didn't want to try my suggestion of smearing honey on their opponents and releasing a beehive in the cafeteria. Maybe they thought it was too cliché, done too many times."

* * *

"You look so beautiful, Bridgette."

"And you look very handsome, Geoff."

The party animal chuckled, looking sheepish about it. "Aww, shucks. It's probably the new hat," he said as he pointed to the white cowboy hat he was now wearing.

"No, you _are_ handsome," the surfer girl replied, beaming at him.

Geoff couldn't resist anymore. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and leaned in to kiss her. She puckered up too, but before their lips touched, Heather pulled them apart.

"No no no," the queen bee shouted. "I just did Bridgette's make-up, you are not going to smear it, lover boy."

"I still cannot believe I agreed to that," Bridgette said as she walked away from Heather.

Looking back, she felt foolish for agreeing to let Lindsay and Heather put all those beauty products on her face. Bridgette, who always went for a natural look, now felt like she had applied a coat of paint to her face; it itched, and she hated the feel of lipstick on her mouth.

"You're the only girl," Heather had reasoned, "and Ezekiel is a homeschooled redneck who's only thrill is _Baywatch_. You be Pam, and charm the socks off him so that he won't even notice you're dipping him in tar or something, got it?"

Bridgette had resented all of what Heather said, especially since she knew Ezekiel was different now. She actually felt sorry for him, she felt like a shallow skank who'd be using a guy to get whatever she wanted.

It was amazing how many times she thought to herself, "_This is something Heather would do, yuck_."

The four boys were almost ready. Tyler was flexing in his white tuxedo; Justin was practicing his look, which was so good that Bridgette felt Beth had no chance; Geoff was almost bouncing off the kitchen walls in excitement; and Trent was talking to the others about humiliation strategies.

Courtney was so good at coming up with them, it almost scared Bridgette. Leshawna had a few good ideas, but poor DJ wasn't really helping. She remembered how DJ helped play pranks on Harold in TDI (something she still really resented the boys doing), but it was obvious he wasn't good at coming up with mean tricks on his own.

When Chef burst in, shouting at all of them to come onto the dance floor, Geoff was the first one out. The five contestants were told to stand in the center of the room, and the others had to sit at the tables at the far end of the cafeteria, opposite of the disc jockey stand.

The first Freaks 'n Geeks member to arrive was Izzy, who waved at everyone like a guest of honor. "Woohoo, looking good, guys," she shouted, eyeing the five popular kids in white; she wolf-whistled, and then howled like a real wolf.

"Where are the contestants, Izzy?" asked Chris, a little unnerved. The host was sitting in a chair on the left side of the disc jockey stand. Owen was sitting on the right side, waving at Izzy.

"Oh, they're coming," she said, giggling. "They had to be escorted since the field is still muddy."

"How does escorting them help?" Courtney asked.

Her question was answered when she saw Katie and Harold carrying Sadie into the cafeteria. The large BFFF thanked them as they set her down, her brunette nerd escort gasping for air.

Cody carried Gwen, Noah carried Beth, and Duncan carried a very angry Eva. Izzy, who had headed back, returned holding Ezekiel over her head.

"Go splatter her," Izzy shouted at him, then smacked his butt. He let out a startled yelp and leapt in the air.

"Okay, lucky goers of prom night," Chris cried out, waving his hands. "The ten contestants are to be on the dance floor, while everyone else is to remain seated. No helping the ten dancers, that is against the rules!

"You have three songs until the contest is over. Now, begin the humiliation!"

The first song, one with a medium pace, started to play. Beth grinned and began her first plan: talking. As she shouted to Justin about how good he looked, spit flew from her mouth and splattered his jacket.

Eva grabbed Trent's hands, and started dancing with him, very fast and jerky; the poor musician wailed as he was whipped around by the muscular girl.

Geoff and Gwen smiled at each other, bowing their heads respectively at each other, and began dancing. The goth girl leaned her head against the tall party animal's chest; Geoff was okay with this at first, then realized Gwen's newly-dyed green highlights had stained his suit.

Tyler and Sadie had grinned at each other, and the two began dancing. Sure enough, the large BFFF girl accidentally stepped on Tyler's foot, and the athlete hobbled away from the girl. He went to get some punch, and when Sadie hugged him from behind, he accidentally spilt some of the red liquid on his sleeve.

Ezekiel, red in the face, looked at Bridgette in awe. "You... you look... wow," he began, but something caught his eye. "Hey, Bridgette, are you wearing make-up?"

"Heather forced me to," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. When she had her hands up in the air, the prairie boy took one gently and kissed the back of her hand.

"You look enchanting," he said with a grin. Bridgette smiled back, then noticed an greasy stain on her glove where Ezekiel had kissed her. "Oh sorry," he said, licking his lips and grinning more, "forgot about my chap stick."

* * *

**(.Confession Cam - maC noissfonC.)**

Noah - \chuckles\ "That was my idea."

* * *

Bridgette smirked at Ezekiel. "I guess it's on then," she replied.

"Indeed."

Trent was still being thrown around by Eva, the two dancing far too fast for the moderate pace of the song. Tyler spun around and offered Sadie some punch, but he thrust his arm forward too fast and splashed some on her shoulder. Geoff cleaned out his ear with a finger then 'accidentally' wiped it on the shoulder of Gwen's dress.

Justin went to get some punch, standing on the opposite side of the table. Beth watched him, grinning, rocking back and forth on her feet as she held a cup of punch. The male model, very subtlety, rested his arm against the side of the large punch bowl; the curve of the bowl was right above his arm.

Geoff, who was part of this plan, noticed Justin was in place. He waved to the model, who raised his arm to wave back. Tilting the bowl up, the vibrant punch curved out of the bowl in a small wave and splashed all over Beth.

The Freaks 'n Geeks gasped in horror, and the Cool Kids' Club members cheered. Beth, horrified, managed to react. With a scream, she threw her hands into the air shouting, "My dress," and the cup of punch in her hand flew up high. It came down on Justin, staining the shoulder and front of his jacket.

He looked down at himself, and sighed. He grabbed hold of his jacket...

"No, Justin," Leshawna shouted, "don't ri-"

Too late. The male model tore off his white jacket, revealing his bare chest to all. The popular kids all cried out in frustration; Beth swooned and fell backwards, right into the puddle of punch that Justin spilt.

Geoff and Gwen were giggling at this turn of events, and the party animal spun her around; she didn't realize until the second spin that she was walking in the punch, the red liquid staining the bottom of her white heels.

"Slow down, slow down," Trent was screaming at Eva. The two were sweating hard, staining their white clothes; the musician was starting to look sick.

Sadie ran over to get cake, but couldn't resist the temptation and scraped some up with her finger. Tyler came up behind her and asked, loudly, if she was getting a piece for her. She flinched, and half of her hand wound up with black frosting on it. The large BFFF whipped around and grabbed his shoulders in mock affection, staining his clothes with the same frosting.

Ezekiel and Bridgette continued to dance, and the surfer girl backed the prairie boy into the wall. Though the paint was long dry, the rub caused black stains; he didn't see it, but he was pretty sure they were there. With a smirk, he flipped one of her blond bangs, letting it fall over her eye. She rubbed at it absent-mindedly, which stained her glove with eyeshadow.

"I hate make-up," she admitted. "I told Heather it'd only hurt, but she wouldn't listen."

"Shame she wasn't voted off, eh?"

"Yeah. Listen, I'm gonna grab some cake, want some?"

"I don't have chocolate cake often, sure!"

As they headed over, they passed Tyler and Sadie. The jock was holding a plate with a slice of cake on it. Sadie waved at them, her fork with cake still on it splattering his face and white headband. The jock flinched, and 'jerked' his hands upward; the cake slapped Sadie in the face, then fell down her front. Sadie sputtered, pretending to cry as she buried her face into Tyler's jacket, rubbing the cake on her face on him.

Bridgette handed Ezekiel a plate with a slice of cake on it, and the prairie boy realized he might end up like Sadie. When the blond surfer came back, she stumbled, obviously trying to knock the cake into him. He thrust the plate to him, and their combined motions knocked the delicious slice onto their feet.

They stared down at the mess, then burst out laughing. "Well, that just sucks, doesn't it?" Bridgette asked him.

"Ayup."

The first song came to an end, and the second song started up. The face was very fast, and Eva used this to her advantage. Her dancing, though Trent didn't think it was possible, became even more frenetic, and he was attached the roller coaster ride that was this dance. He was starting to turn green as the world blurred around him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Where people go when sick as well.)**

Trent - "I wonder what I did to Chris to make him hate me enough to pair me up with Eva. Dancing with her is like trying to wrestle a crazed bull, one that is determined to wipe every last bit of energy out of you."

* * *

Beth, who had stood up ever since her swooning faint, jumped away from the thrashing Trent and Eva. Her hands pushed the punch bowl and splashed more out, onto Justin's pants and the front of Beth's dress.

"Oops, thorry," she said to Justin, who shrugged politely.

Realizing some punch had got on her glasses, she took them up and held them up in the light. Unbeknownst to her, the glare from one of the lights was amplified by the glass, and the beam of light shone directly on Tyler's pants. Like a magnifying glass to ants, the bottom of Geoff's pant leg started to heat up, then caught fire.

The party animal screamed and ran around, and in the process of his panic, he knocked Sadie into the cake; the three layers came down on her, and Owen screamed in horror. Ezekiel yelled that he was getting the hose, and ran outside. Beth tried blowing on Geoff's pant leg, chasing him around. Gwen grabbed the punch bowl and tossed the liquid as best as she could towards Geoff, but he ran away at the last second and the punch splashed Sadie.

Ezekiel, with mud on his shoes and pant legs, sprayed Geoff with the hose. Even when the fire was out, the prairie boy hosed him off a little more. A drenched Geoff let out a sigh of relief, then went back to Gwen.

"Well, that was pretty cool," he said, looking down at her. As she grinned, water that had collected in the brim of his hat poured onto her face. He apologized, genuinely sorry, as she sputtered, her make-up running. Long trails of black formed on her face.

As Ezekiel started to take the hose back outside, Trent couldn't take being spun around by Eva for another second. He bolted for the door, but was only able to take two steps before falling on his butt. The musician then threw up, splattering his own pants with vomit.

The prairie boy noticed this, then looked down at Trent. "I'm not supposed to intentionally mess you up, but if you want me to...," he mimed hosing Trent off, and the musician agreed. Helping Gwen's boyfriend up, Ezekiel led the dizzy man outside and sprayed his pants off.

Beth was now enjoying some cake, and offered some to Justin, who politely refused. She was about to offer some to Sadie, when she saw that her teammate was caked in cake. The farm girl shrugged, dropping some of the crumbs of her cake on her date's shoes.

Eva tapped her foot, waiting for Trent to come back. Instead, Ezekiel came back in with the hose and sprayed out the vomit on the floor; he managed to hit Tyler and Bridgette's legs with water before finally discarding the hose.

"That was pretty cool, Ezekiel," Bridgette said as he returned to her. "You saved Geoff back there, and I thank you for that."

"Just helping out a man on fire, eh," the prairie boy replied, grinning.

Geoff, panting hard, went to scrape the remaining punch from the bowl that Gwen had not thrown out. He started to drink it, when Tyler came and slapped on the back, 'accidentally' causing the party animal to spit-take all over Gwen. The goth girl blinked at this, then smirked.

"I'll make you pay for that," she said, playful but threatening.

"Sorry about that," Geoff said, stumbling towards her. The two broke out into dance once more, as did the other couples.

Then the third song started to play, and much to the surprise of everyone (except Chris and Chef), it was a slow song. Geoff and Gwen, who were close enough friends to be comfortable with this, pulled each other close and slow danced. Gwen pressed her body against Geoff, his jacket now stained with punch and mascara too; he in turn held her by the arms, but a sudden spin caused him to almost tear her sleeve off.

Beth was the envy of every girl on Wawanakwa, as she was pressed up against Justin's too-beautiful-to-describe chest. The model was trying to think of anything else he could do, but she was far too distracted to think of anything else.

Sadie and Tyler danced close together, but when the jock tried to dip her, he couldn't hold her weight and, unintentionally this time, let her drop on the floor, in the water and punch.

Trent, who had recovered from his vomiting, came back in. He and Eva performed the most awkward of slow dances, where they were at full arms' length away.

Ezekiel, who was panicking inside the moment the slow song started, shrugged at Bridgette. "Katie and Sadie didn't teach me how to dance like this, eh."

"Then let me," Bridgette offered, taking his hands. Putting one of his arms around her waist, and holding his other hand, she leaned against him. "Don't be nervous, Ezekiel."

"Wh-what makes you think I'm nervous?"

"Your heart is pounding harder than a storm's waves against the rocks," she said, unable to stop from giggling. "Sorry about the surfer metaphor, it's a little bit of a bad habit of mine."

"N-no problem, eh," he replied, smiling awkwardly.

He was certain that this was her plan to get him anxious, and it was working pretty darn well. Ezekiel could feel himself perspire, not to mention feel a little dizzy. Bridgette's body warmth could be felt through her dress, her own heartbeat against his chest. She was relaxing her head on his shoulder, and even though he knew she was rubbing her make-up on his jacket, he couldn't care less about the contest now.

"Now you know how to dance like this for your own prom," she said to him, her playful tone still in her voice. Her arms were around his back, holding him closer to her. "However, I would suggest you lead when you take a girl out. Want to try?"

"S-sure."

"Just no leading me towards the punch or cake," she whispered, smiling up at him.

"I think we've ruined it already, eh," he said.

The song lasted another minute, and then it was all over. The audience, being the two teams, clapped and cheered as the couples let go of each other and waved at their teammates.

"Well, I think we have put our ten contestants through enough, don't you guys?" Chris said as he walked towards the couples. "Now it's time to judge who looks worse!"

He had the five couples line up, then studied the first one, the prairie boy and the surfer girl, with a close eye.

Ezekiel had Bridgette's make-up on his shoulder, paint rubbings on his back, mud and water and cake on his shoes and pant legs. Bridgette had mascara and chap stick stains on her gloves, and water and cake were splashed on the hem of her dress and shoes.

"You two sure look bad," he said, chuckling, "but I think Ezekiel looks a lot worse. Though you were pretty cool with the hose, I'm afraid the first point goes to the Cool Kids' Club!"

Ezekiel groaned as the popular kids cheered. Bridgette clapped, then ruffled up the prairie boy's toque. "You won in my book, for saving my boyfriend," she said, beaming at him.

"_I won in my book too_," he thought as he nodded at her; his semi-heavy breathing was mostly from the thrill of getting to slow dance with her instead of the contest.

Chris looked over Geoff and Gwen next. The party animal was soaked, had a burnt pant leg, and his jacket was stained with hair dye, punch, and make-up. The goth girl had mascara running down her face, punch spittle all over her body, a sleeve torn mostly off, ear wax on her shoulder, and her white heels and stockings were wet with water and punch.

"Okay, you both look _terrible_," Chris said, openly laughing. "It's hard to say who truly looks worse but oh man, Gwen," he looked at the black streaks of mascara, "every time I look at your face, I think of how clowns cry. Second point to the Cool Kids' Club!"

The popular kids, especially Heather, cheered loudly. Gwen stomped her foot and sulked. Geoff, ever-friendly, patted her shoulder; she smiled at him, despite it all.

Next were Eva and Trent. Both had large sweat stains on their clothes, but Trent was also soaked and still had the faint stink of puke.

"Dude, seriously," Chris said, taking a step away from Trent, "you're going to lose your cool image if you hurl that easily."

Trent sighed and shrugged. "What can I say, man? Eva's one wild dancer."

"Why thank you," Eva replied, smirking; she looked quite proud of herself.

"Yes, she is. One point goes to the Freaks 'n Geeks," announced Chris.

The nerds cheered, clapping wildly. They had been saved from defeat.

Beth and Justin both grinned sheepishly as Chris approached them. The farm girl was almost coated in punch, back and front, and had cake frosting on her hands. The male model was holding his torn jacket behind his back, while his pants were, like Beth's dress, stained in punch.

"Okay, this is difficult for me to say," Chris started, looking at both of them, "because as we all know, Justin still looks fantastic. But even though Beth is coated in our cherry-flavored sugar water, irreparable damage is worse. Justin, that ruined jacket earns another point for the Freaks 'n Geeks!"

The nerds cheered again, Beth jumping up and down in sheer ecstasy.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Irreparable damage never stopped us.)**

Beth - "I was _tho_ so proud of myself then! I theriously thought I had no chance against Justin, but I managed to win a point for my team! Though even now, I feel a little guilty, thince he's thuch a nice guy and tho dreamy. Thtill, I won! I won, I won, I won, heeheehee!"

* * *

"And our final couple is," Chris started, but stopped when he saw the giant mess in front of him.

The giant mess was Sadie, who had cake and punch covering her from head to toe. She almost resembled a shambling mound of pudding and red juice, a walking cavity-causer. Tyler had cake and punch on him too, but nowhere near as bad.

"Well, I think this is the easiest to call," Chris said, smirking. "The third point goes to the Cool Kids' Club! The popular kids win it all!!"

The ten campers burst into wild cheers and began hugging each other. Lindsay tackle-hugged Tyler and knocked him down, smearing the cake and punch all over herself. Geoff and Bridgette embraced and kissed, smearing the lipstick onto Geoff's face.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Surprised by who the winners are.)**

Eva - "Okay, so we lost. And I had to wear a _dress_..."

Bridgette - "... I was looking like a complete wreck at the end..."

Gwen - "... my boyfriend puked on himself while he danced with another woman..."

Geoff - "... and my pants even caught on fire..."

Beth - "I was tho nervous, I thought I was gonna throw up..."

Tyler - "... and I look like a baby's bib after it spat up..."

Justin - \sighs while he wipes off his arms\

Ezekiel - "... my heart was racing, I was sure it was going to explode when she danced with me..."

Trent - "... the most dizzy, nauseating experience of my life..."

Sadie - "... I was covered head to toe in sugary goodness and Katie wasn't there..." \she suddenly looks very happy\ "... and it was the coolest, most awesome..."

Trent - \smiling\ "... wildest roller coaster of a night..."

Ezekiel - "... I think it was the best day of my life!"

Justin - \grins and gives two thumbs up\

Tyler - "Man, did I have a lot of fun!"

Beth - "... and it's tho hard to believe the good times are over..."

Geoff - "I cannot wait until tonight to revive that party..."

Gwen - "And this time, I'll have Trent with me to dance with..."

Bridgette - "My God, I cannot wait for my prom!"

Eva - "... the most fun I have had in years!" \she lets out a loud cheer\

* * *

The nerds in the crowd slumped in their seats, sighing and slapping their foreheads. Izzy, on the other hand, took advantage of the situation and leapt for the cake. She and Owen were wolfing it down, even the parts on the floor.

"The cake that's been soaked in punch tastes best," she told him. He giggled happily, and licked a piece off her cheek.

"No, the cake off you tastes best."

Noah, who oversaw this, shuddered.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Tragic, we didn't get cake.)**

Noah - "Nature programs showing animals being eaten alive, or mating, or regurgitating the animal they ate then swallowing it again... they don't come near the disgustingness that is Owen and Izzy flirting."

* * *

After the chaos of victory was over, the contestants cleaned themselves off and were back in their normal clothes. Chris had led them to a large building the campers did not remember being on the island their first time around.

"We made this building for all the odd challenges that involve being indoors," Chris said, knocking the smooth, wooden wall of the building. "A little slapdash but stable. Hey, I know this is supposed to be an out-in-the-wild show, but frankly, we couldn't turn down Owen's grand idea."

"Crap," was Duncan's reply. "If Owen thought of it, we're all going to be hurling by the end of the day."

Most of the campers agreed with him, but Chris was shaking his head. "Not likely to happen with this challenge," the host said, shaking a finger at the campers. "There is the high chance of injury, but not likely will there be barfing.

"Because your invincibility challenge is something you won't see coming!"

"I thought it was immunity," Gwen called out. Chris looked confused, so she explained further. "Sometimes you call it immunity, sometimes it is invincibility. Which is it?"

"Either/or," the handsome host replied with a wave of his hand.

" 'Immunibility'?" said Ezekiel.

" 'Invinsity'?" said Harold.

"Alright nerds, settle down," Chris cried out. "As _I_ was saying, your challenge, for winners' a reward and losers' invincibility, is something that geeks, freaks, jocks, and 'pops' all fear!"

He opened the door and led them in. All sorts of mechanical devices, crafting machines, power tools, and tinkering parts filled the small building. Owen stood next to a power saw, shoving a plank of wood against it and cutting it smoothly.

"Shop class," Chris shouted, grinning sadistically.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Likely built in shop class too.)**

Harold - "He thinks I'd fear shop class? Ha! Where does he think I made my numchucks?"

Lindsay - "Oh dear... this involves using my hands and getting physical, doesn't it? That's really bad."

Eva - "I don't think I should mention to Chris that I'm banned from shop class on the account of a power tool incident. ... Long story, no need to tell it."

* * *

"Everyone, your job will be, under the supervision of Grand Master Chef and Owen, to create something that you think will impress me, your shop class teacher," Chris said aloud. He gestured to Owen and Chef, the large cook standing next to the large teen and watching him closely. "How goes that power saw, Owen?"

"Pretty good, Chris," the jolly giant replied, looking around back at the host. "I think I finally got my hand in on this-"

A disturbing, wet cutting sound interrupted Owen as he winced something awful. Turning around, he held up his hand, two fingers missing and blood shooting from the amputated wounds. "Whoopsies," he whimpered, "I think I may need a doctor."

Several campers screamed, others stared in horror. DJ, Katie, and Sadie fainted dead away. Even Chris looked horrified.

Owen and Chef then burst out laughing. The jolly giant showed the ketchup bottle he was holding behind his arm, as well as holding up his two missing fingers. "They fell for it," Owen laughed. "Good one, Chef!"

"That was _so_ cool," Izzy shouted, cheering and jumping up and down.

"No, it wasn't," Courtney fired back. She looked around for support, but found most people, including Duncan and Bridgette, were laughing in relief. Heather wasn't, and she looked as miffed as Courtney did.

"Now for this contest," Chris said, once everyone had calmed down. "I expect good things to come from you. Unique is good, beautiful is fine, handy is dandy.

"The winners of this contest that are in the Freaks 'n Geeks will win invincibility. The winners from the Cool Kids' Club will win a coupon for a free tuxedo or dress from...," he paused for effect, "... The Royale Threads!"

Most of the girls gasped, none of the guys did. The only girls who didn't look thrilled were Gwen, Bridgette, and Eva. "What's the Royale Threads?" Gwen asked, since no one else was.

"It figures a freak show like you wouldn't know _the_ most desired, expensive clothes," Heather said with a sneer. "The Royale Threads makes dresses and tuxedos that are in such high demand, it takes almost a year to reserve one made for you."

"Thrills," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "More dresses."

"This coupon," Chris announced, grinning at the eager girls, "can be used at any Royale Threads, and since it has no expiration date, it can be used at your prom, perchance?"

Several of the girls let out wild squeals, and Noah considered putting his head under one of the metal choppers.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not interested in dresses, like Eva.)**

Heather - "Okay, I had a friend who's dad _killed_ someone to get her a dress from Royale Threads. And she still didn't get one! Even my parents have been unable to reserve one for me, all the rich kids where I'm from cannot get one! That coupon... is _mine_!!"

Lindsay - "Royale Threads, oh _wow_! Who wouldn't be excited with this?"

Ezekiel - "What is it with girls and clothes, eh? I won't say this in front of the others, but seriously, why do girls want a dress they'll only wear once in their life? I don't get girls."

* * *

Chris chuckled as he watched the campers wander about the shop class setup, looking at the tools. "You have until tonight to create your masterpieces! I suggest you start working now! Make it happen, people!"

**Continued in Part 4, where the terrifying marshmallow ceremony will take place!**

* * *

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So what are the campers going to make? Who will succeed in passing shop, and who will have the largest humiliation of failing it?

You want to see why shop class and industrial arts are so funny? Look up 'MST3K Why Study Industrial Arts' on YouTube.


	8. Day 2, Part 4: Zed Theft Ceremony

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. No words, numbers, symbols, and/or htmls were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

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* * *

**Chapter 08 (Day 02, Part 4)** - Chop Shop Class

Noah was wondering if Izzy could work without her tongue sticking out. Ever since the shop class challenge began, the redhead was at work with all kinds of material and electronics, and had her tongue stuck out in concentration.

"Creepy," he muttered under his breath as he returned to his project.

Everyone was hard at work, some feeling more confident than others. Gwen and Trent, having received permission from Chris, were working on the same project, risking the chance they'd pass or fail together. Harold was busy at a forge, using some very hot instruments with a big smile on his face. Cody was tinkering with a pile of electronics, chuckling to himself several times.

As Chris had promised, injures had been common. Tyler was whistling while he worked to keep his mind off his four bruised fingers. Sadie had accidentally dropped a hammer on Katie's toes. Geoff, so worried about Bridgette, had cut and jammed his fingers multiple times.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Yes, we're filming this.)**

Geoff - "It's not that I don't think she's good at shop class. I'm just worried that, well, you know how she's a little clumsy when on land. What if she hurts herself bad?"

Bridgette - \smiling\ "I've helped build houses before, so I know my way around tools. It's kind of nice to get back to basics of creating things."

* * *

Courtney, when trying to snip a stitch in her project, accidentally slingshotted her scissors across the room. They impaled right over Cody's head, but he didn't even notice because he was so focused on his project.

"He sure is lucky you're not a serial killer, babe," Duncan said to her, grinning.

"Stop that," she hissed at him. The tan-skinned girl was wondering how she was going to explain to Cody going over there and getting those scissors back without alarming him.

Ezekiel was busy cutting metal at his station, something he found to be difficult at first (a.k.a. three cuts) but really fun when he got the hand of it. The shape he was working on looked like a large 'Z' on a chain.

"So what are you working on, Zeke?" Harold, who was sharing the station, asked him.

"I'm gonna make me some more killer bling, like my first medallion, eh," he said with a grin. "It'd be so cool to wear something I made, don't you think? I'm gonna add the Killer Bass icon to it after I've finished with the Zed." As Harold nodded in agreement, Heather watched Ezekiel with a sinister eye. Her project, which was a couple earrings, had not gone well at all: they resembled blobs of melted white goo with crooked golden hooks coming out.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Could do with a smooth finish.)**

Heather - "That Royale Threads coupon was mine. I was not, under any circumstances, going to lose my chance on getting one. I'm not good at creating the basis of a project, so I like to 'borrow' ideas, so to speak. Luckily, luck was on my side for a borrowing opportunity."

* * *

The shop class was filled with screams, Lindsay's screams to be precise. She had turned on a power sander too high, and now the device was moving on the floor, scurrying around like the small creatures she couldn't stand. Ezekiel, like several other of the campers, went to go help her.

Tyler tried killing it by stomping it, but ended up sanding off the pattern on the bottom of his shoe. Leshawna, rolling her eyes, merely pulled the plug on the device.

"Sorry about that," Lindsay replied sheepishly. "I thought that power nail file was going to kill me!"

Leshawna took some time to explain to the blond beauty what that 'power nail file' really was while the rest of the campers headed back to their projects; however, when Ezekiel returned, he found his project wasn't there.

"Where'd it go off to?" he asked himself, looking around his section. "Harold, did you boo'row my bling, eh?"

"No, man"

"Heather, you see it, eh?"

"No," she replied, her back to him and working intensively on her project.

"This ee'nt good," Ezekiel started looking all over his section. "We're almost out of time!"

"Better hurry then," Heather suggested, smirking at the metal Z she was cutting.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Would look okay with bling, we thinks.)**

Ezekiel - "I was freaking out there ab'oot a bunch of things there, eh. I had lost the Zed part of my bling, I might fail the challenge, and all in all, might get voted off the island! Being one of the first ones voted off ag'een would probably break my heart, eh."

Heather - \She is wearing a necklace that sports a large, silver H; it looks suspiciously like Ezekiel's bling.\ "Sorry, homeschool, but your fly bling just happened to fly my way."

* * *

"Have you seen a gold Zed around here, eh?" Ezekiel was asking Justin. "About yay'big, sharp edges?"

The model shook his head. Ezekiel sighed, going back to Lindsay's station to look for a third time; however, before he got there, Chef blew a whistle.

"Times up, campers," he bellowed, clapping his hands. "Add any finishing touches you may need while I summon Chris!"

He left, and the campers did as he suggested. Ezekiel let out a long sigh, defeated. Harold patted his shoulder in comfort, but the prairie boy was crestfallen.

Chris arrived in a short amount of time, looking eager. "Well, class, let's see who's made some impressive products, and will the craftsmen of today's generation.

"Let's start with... Noah!"

The egghead, who was getting a little tired of being chosen first for these things, rolled his eyes. He then smiled as he proudly waved his hand at his project.

"Bookends, since you all know I like books," he explained. The bookends were in the shape of the Killer Bass and Screaming Gopher icons, even green and red like they were known to be.

Chris ran a finger over the Killer Bass bookend, then smiled. "Noah, this is rather good! You pass!" The other campers cheered, and Noah bowed.

The host headed over to Lindsay's work station next. She presented a lump that looked like it had been torched, mutilated with a saw, hammered relentlessly, and polka-dotted with glue.

"Lindsay, what _is_ this?" Chris asked, looking stumped.

"An ashtray," she said, looking hopeful.

"What... material is this?" He was staring hard at the mauled project, wondering if it was wood, plastic, metal, or if Lindsay had managed to mutate a new material from damaging it so much.

"I think it was plastic," she admitted.

"Sorry, but this is not going to cut it. I have to flunk you," he said, and Lindsay began to wail.

* * *

Tyler sat down in the chair that he had been making. It held for about five seconds before the legs broke and he fell down rather painfully. He was removing a few splinters from his butt as Chris told him he had failed.

Eva's project was a doorstop. She tried to show it would work by using the door to the building, but it wasn't stopping the door. Kicking it hard under the door frame while holding the door in place, she not only destroyed her own project but ripped the door right off its hinges. She gave Chris an embarrassed grin as the host shook his head, then flunked her.

Gwen and Trent had made a motorcycle engine, something Trent had experience in. Chris, seeing if they had made a working one, had the musician install it into Chef's motorcycle, and asked the large man to take it for a ride. With a quiet start, the cook looked doubtful until he gave it a little gas; he rocketed off like a bullet from a gun barrel, screaming and whooping. Chris smiled at the couple and told them they passed.

Justin whipped the cover off of his project: a bust of Chris Maclean. The host cried out in glee, and hugged the male model in addition to passing him. Most of the other campers rolled their eyes at this, but secretly wished they had thought of that.

* * *

"So, you made a robot? Don't you do this a lot at home, Cody?" Chris was asking the geek.

"Yes, but this one has great usage," he said, smiling. "First off, note how it displays the time, and it's time-zone correct!" He gestured next the table where the robot was placed, where Owen was fast asleep on a bed.

"And," the geek continued, "it has a great alarm!"

He pressed a button on the robot, and it started to shout in a digital voice, red and white lights flashing. "Warning! Warning! You are in danger of oversleeping! Get up!"

"Interesting," Chris said, rubbing his chin. "But what if you're a heavy sleeper like Owen here?"

"You put it on the second setting," Cody exclaimed, looking very excited now.

He flipped a switch, then pressed the same button as before. This time, when the robot started to shout, "Warning," it squirted water at Owen, hitting him in the face. By the third splash of water, the large teenager was thrashing, awake and blubbering.

"Did I miss the spelling bee?" Owen asked as he bolted upright in the bed.

Chris laughed and high-fived Cody as the campers applauded him. "Excellent work, Codemiester! Not only do you pass, but we'll see what we can do about marketing this!"

* * *

Courtney nervously handed Chris the wallet she had been making. He inspected it with a grim face, making the C.I.T. very nervous. Then he smiled, and told her she passed; she was so excited, she gave the host a big hug.

Izzy was holding her project behind her back. When Chris asked her to show it, she held it up to his face: it was a time bomb, with a timer counting down from ten. Many of the campers screamed, while Katie, Sadie, and DJ fainted. Chris very quickly told her she passed, and she happily turned off her bomb.

Ezekiel looked pretty upset when he had nothing to present Chris. The host gave him a sympathizing pat on the shoulder, and told the prairie boy he still had to be flunked. With great maturity, the homeschooled kid accepted his fate, and pulled his toque down over his eyes.

Katie and Sadie, who had also worked together, lifted up the shoeshine kit they had been working on. It was a real tragedy that, when they placed it on the table, it fell to pieces almost immediately; they had forgotten to glue it together. They burst into tears and hugged each other when Chris flunked them.

* * *

"So you made a pocket knife?" Chris asked Leshawna, who had held up something that looked a lot like what the host thought it was.

"Actually, it's more like pocket silverware," she said. She used the small curves as handles to pull out a fork, a spoon, then a knife. "Oh, and I included a spork too."

"A spork? Lemme see," the host asked, clearly excited. Leshawna did, and the host clapped his hands. "Now _that's_ a great tool! You pass for the spork alone!"

The large sister leapt for joy as her fellow campers cheered for her. The host applauded too, then headed over to the next camper.

"So, what did you make, my man Harold?"

Harold was still near the forge, holding something gold in a pair of metal tongs. "Extend your hand, Chris. Don't worry, it's quite cool."

The host, confused, did as he was. What Harold dropped in his hand was a gold ring, smooth and shiny. "This is really nice, Harold, but is that all to it?"

"Wait a minute."

Chris did, holding the ring closer to his face. "I don't see anything, dude," he commented, then stopped. "Wait... there are markings. It's some kind of cursive."

"In our tongue," Harold said, smiling proudly, "it says, 'For my dearest Leshawna.'"

The girls, and even some of the guys, fawned over this. Leshawna came over, snatching the ring from Chris and looked at it herself; to say her face lit up would be an understatement. After putting the ring on, she grabbed Harold by his shirt and gave him the biggest kiss he had ever received from her.

"Wow," Lindsay purred, "that is love."

* * *

Bridgette bit her lip as Chris inspected the birdhouse she had made. To both of theirs surprise, a blue bird flew out. Then a pink bird followed him, following with a gray squirrel chattering angrily and shaking its fist at them before returning back in the birdhouse. Chris chuckled, then told Bridgette she passed.

Geoff, who was stoked about Bridgette winning, was filled with confidence when he showed Chris his table. The host placed one finger on it, and it came crashing down, one side directly on the party animal's foot. As he hopped around and cried out in pain, Bridgette chased him trying to help; Chris would have to tell him later that he had failed.

Beth had made a pencil holder, and held it up to Chris. The host looked at it, but didn't seem too thrilled. With a shake of his head, Beth knew she had failed. She let out a long sigh, but managed to stay calm.

* * *

"Duncan, buddy, is that a sword?" Chris asked, leaning back from the long, sharp object.

"No, man, it's a letter opener!"

"It's two feet long, Duncan," Courtney said in disgust.

"I see it being popular among managers and corporate," Duncan said, still grinning wickedly. He held up an envelope to his really big letter opener, and looked at Chris with that look he imagined an evil boss would have. "So you want a raise, pal...?"

He sliced open the envelope and pointed it threateningly at Chris. "Tell me why you deserve one."

After Chris got over his initial shock, he laughed. "That's cruel and unusual, Duncan dude! I love it!"

"It's also good carving power, see?" Duncan said, gesturing to a cloth he had pinned to the wall. He pulled it down, revealing a large heart with "D + C" carved in the middle.

"Duncan," Courtney exclaimed, looking horrified and blushing at the same time, "that's embarrassing!"

"I'm not ashamed of it," he said, grinning at her and raising his eyebrows hopefully.

"Well, of course not, it's vandalism," she retorted, and walked off. Duncan looked pretty crestfallen; he had been hoping for a big kiss like Harold had received from Leshawna.

"Cannot win them all, dude," Chris said to him, patting his shoulder, "but you do pass the class, so you won some!"

As the class cheered for Duncan, who held his really big letter opener in the air in victory, Chris walked over to the last camper: Heather. "So, what do you have for me, Heather?" the host asked her.

"I made this necklace with a fine silver finish," she said, holding up the trinket to him. The chain and silver H gleamed in the light. "The 'H' stands for Heather, as you can guess."

"Not bad," Chris said, feeling it with his hand. "I think it stands for a passing grade. Congratulations!"

When he let go of the necklace, the reflection of the light caught Ezekiel's eye. It swung, and he, in that brief moment, recognized it.

"Hey," he shouted, startling everyone, "that's _my_ bling!"

Everyone was now looking between Ezekiel, who was furious, and Heather, who was smiling innocently. "I'm sorry?" she asked.

"You're the one who took my bling, didn't you?" Ezekiel continued to shout, storming over to Heather. He pointed at the necklace, yelling, "That's my Zed! You took my Zed and changed it into an H! I even recoo'nize the chain! You... you-"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Chris shouted, grabbing the prairie boy's shoulders, "Zeke man, calm down! Chill!"

"I have no idea what he's talking about," Heather said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Ezekiel was hissing air through his teeth, his fists clenched, his body trembling. Lindsay was almost certain he was going to explode. "What's a 'Zed'?" she asked Leshawna.

"Zeke dude, did you see her take it?" Chris asked Ezekiel, and the prairie boy admitted with a shake of his head that he didn't. "Owen, Chef, did either of you see it?"

Chef shook his head, while Owen nervously tapped his fingers together. "Sorry, dude, I didn't. I was a little busy making sure Izzy didn't blow herself up."

Chris looked back at Ezekiel and shrugged. "Sorry dude, but there's no proof."

"And with no proof," Heather said, her most sinister smile on, "you really shouldn't go around saying such things just because you lost."

Ezekiel, about ready to blow a gasket, let out a furious cry and stormed out of the building. Some of the campers, namely Gwen, Leshawna, and Bridgette, glared at Heather.

"Alright, folks," Chris announced, trying desperately to break the tension. "All Freaks 'n Geeks, winners or losers, will meet me at the bonfire ceremony tonight! Let's see who'll be walking the Dock of Losers tonight, the second person to go home!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We record things because we care.)**

Heather - \chuckles as she swings the silver H back and forth\ "Boy, the look on his face was priceless. I just wish he had done something more dramatic, it would have been nice to have his fellow freaks vote him off."

Gwen - "I hate that evil cow, _hate_ her! I wanted to go over there and use the belt sander on that evil smile of hers!" \takes a deep breath\ "But I still have to think about who to vote for. And I know who of this team I really do not want to be paired with."

Noah - "There were a few people of concern on this team. Eva may have a temperament, but she did her part. Sadie messed up, twice, and I don't see how useful she can be in the future. Plus, that squealing she does makes me want to use an ice pick on my eardrums. I talked to a couple of my teammates, and I think I may have convinced them."

Eva - "It was one of those two clones, and I know which one was the most annoying."

Harold - "I hate voting for people who are good people, but since this contest is becoming rather unpredictable, I want to make sure I am paired with people who are really skilled. So I voted for Katie."

Katie & Sadie - \Katie\ "Oh my _gosh_, that temper was too much!" \Sadie\ "It seriously was!" \Katie\ "The red face, the clenched fists, the furious breathing..." \Sadie\ "I thought someone would be killed! Creepy!" \Katie\ "Seriously creepy!"

Duncan - "Sorry you were fleeced, dude, but I still haven't forgiven what you said the first day you were here. So I vote for Ezekiel."

Ezekiel - \is still fuming\ "I'm so mad I cannot see straight, and I'm never mad, eh! Anyway... I cannot vote for Katie or Sadie, since they're so nice and helpful. Beth is too sweet, and I ee'nt gonna vote for myself, so I have to vote for Eva."

Izzy - "As an extra precaution, I'm going to vote for who might still have the illegal jellybeans. Also, she is a little weird."

* * *

The tension was thick at the marshmallow ceremony. All of the Freaks 'n Geeks were seated on their stump-like seats. The members of Cool Kids' Club, even Heather, had gathered on the side to watch. Everyone wanted to see who would be voted off, since they had friends they were hoping would stay.

"I've got ten marshmallows here," Chris announced, tapping the plate, "and I have eleven campers there. Ten of you will dine tonight, ten of you will be fine tonight.

"But one of you is not getting a marshmallow. One of you is going to be walking the Dock of Shame. One of you is going to be boarding the Boat of Lo-oooooooooosers, and one of you is never coming back!

"Ever!"

Lindsay had been counting on her hand, and she gasped. "That means _four_ of them have been voted off? No way!"

Chris ignored Lindsay, then smiled back at the Freaks 'n Geeks. "Now, let's have the skilled of the shop class come forth! 'Robo-Alarm Clock' Cody!"

The geek let out a cheer before claiming his marshmallow. He walked over to the campers gathered on the side, high-fiving Trent.

" 'Time Bomb' Izzy, 'Bookend' Noah, and 'One Cool Ring' Harold!"

The three campers claimed their marshmallows happily. Noah juggled his a couple times, while Harold hugged his girlfriend, the owner of the One Cool Ring.

" 'Letter Opener' Duncan, and 'Motorcycle Engine' Gwen!"

The two took their marshmallows and walked over to the other campers. Gwen and Trent hugged, while Duncan wrapped his arm around an annoyed (but deep down, very happy) Courtney.

"Now we come down to the final five, who did not pass our shop class," said Chris.

Beth was crossing fingers on both her hands and shaking in fear. Katie and Sadie were holding hands, smiling at each other confidentially. Eva and Ezekiel were sitting, arms crossed, looking ticked off.

"The first of four remaining marshmallows goes to...," Chris started, tapped his chin as if to recall, then said, "Beth!"

The farm girl cheered, grabbing her marshmallow and kissing it several times. She high-fived Leshawna as she joined the other campers.

"The second marshmallow goes to... Katie!"

The thinner girl squealed in delight as she claimed her marshmallow, then headed back to her BFFF. "Um, Katie," Chris called to her, "you should probably join the others..."

He stopped when he realized who he was talking to. "Never mind," he said, shaking his head. "The third marshmallow goes to..."

Sadie, Ezekiel, and Eva exchanged glances, their fists gripping tight, or in Sadie's case, gripping Katie's hand.

"... Eva."

Katie and Sadie both gasped as Eva stood up and claimed her marshmallow. She popped it in her mouth and muttered, "Hmm, my first. Not bad."

"What?" was all Katie could say as she watched Eva join the others. "But... we...

"Ladies...," Chris said, interrupting Katie's stammering.

"This...," he tapped the plate, which had a single marshmallow on it, "is the final marshmallow of the night."

Katie and Sadie clung to each other, staring in horror at the tasty treat. Ezekiel let his arms drop and let out a nervous whimper.

"It's down to Sadie and Zeke," the host said. He then laughed. "Hey, Zeke, if you get voted off, that will mean, like, you're the second to be voted off. You can keep coming back every season, and you'll win by the twenty-second!"

"Yes, Chris, it's great how you can poke fun at me and all, but will you please tell us who won, eh? You know," Ezekiel gestured to Katie and Sadie, "before they hug each other so tight, they wind up behind each other, eh?"

"Okay then," Chris said with an innocent (as innocent as could be with Chris Maclean) smile.

The tension was thick. Katie and Sadie were squished together, and Ezekiel had his hands up over his mouth. He shot a furious glance over at Heather before looking back at Chris. Tyler gripped his headband in terrible suspense, Bridgette clung to Geoff, Heather grinned malevolently.

"The final marshmallow of the night goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Zeke."

The prairie boy thought he said "Sadie" for a brief moment, then realized he was safe. He let out a relieved sigh. Though his first marshmallow was bittersweet, as the sad cries of Katie and Sadie came shortly after he picked up his treat.

"Why do you have to separate us again?" Sadie wailed, looking like her heart had been broke.

"Can't we just go together?" Katie suggested, looking desperate. "It'd just be easier for everyone."

Sadie took her BFFF's hands in hers, with sad but strong eyes. "Katie, I know how much you want to be with me, because, well, I feel the same about you. But you need to go on in this contest. I was able to do it, so can you."

"But I went to pieces at the Playa des Losers when you weren't there," Katie admitted.

"I was pretty bad too, but you need to be strong. I know you can go far in this contest, you've always been the stronger one."

"This is so totally unfair."

"Actually," Sadie said, surprising her friend with a shake of her plump head, "I think it would have been more unfair to Ezekiel if he had been voted off. Since his project was, like, stolen and all."

Ezekiel blinked, and couldn't help but smile. "Hey Sadie," he said, catching her attention. He tossed his marshmallow to her and winked. "Parting gift from me to you. We'll take care of Katie."

"Oh my gosh... thank you," Sadie replied, smiling.

--

"Bye, Sadie," Katie called out to her friend as the Boat of Losers departed from the Dock of Losers. "I'll think about you every day!"

"I'll think about you every hour," Sadie called back, waving from the boat.

"I'll think about you every minute, then!"

"I'll think about you every second!"

"I'll think about you every...," Katie paused, trying to think of what was shorter than a second. Ezekiel leaned in and whispered it in her ear. "Oh! I'll think about you every nanosecond!"

"By-iiiiiiiiiiiiie," Sadie called out, her voice very faint with distance.

Katie stood on the Dock of Losers and waved until her friend was completely out of sigh. She hung her head in sorrow, covering her face with her hands. "I hate this feeling," she whimpered.

Bridgette came to her side and put her arm around the sad girl. "I know it's hard for you," she said gently, "but I'm sure you can do this, Katie."

The tan-skinned girl wiped the tears from her eyes. "I think I can," she whimpered. "I... I know how you all think Sadie and I are weird because we're BFFFs and so close and all, and wear the same clothing but...

"But I truly believe we are soul mates. That some unexplainable connection brings us together. We're not lovers or family, and it's hard to explain... I wish I could put it to words better."

"I think you did a good enough job," Bridgette said. She hugged Katie, then took her hand. "Come on now, we don't want to be late!"

"Late?" Ezekiel asked, looking at the two girls. "What are you talking ab'oot?"

"The follow-up prom Chris promised us, remember?" Bridgette said, smiling at Ezekiel. "Let's hurry, Geoff is waiting for us!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Wishes it had a BFFF.)**

Katie - "Sadie, I miss you already, but you probably, like, knew that. Anyway, don't forget our little deal: I last more challenges than you, and you gotta buy me dinner! I buy yours if I last a shorter amount or if it's a tie! Either way, I hope you have a lot of fun at Playa des Losers! I'll be thinking about you, always and forever, my BFFF!"

* * *

The party was rocking when Bridgette, Katie, and Ezekiel arrived. All the campers except Heather were there, and from what the three learned, the queen bee had been locked in the communal restrooms.

Owen, acting as disc jockey, was laying down the music. Geoff was dominating the dance floor like the wild party animal that he was. Trent and Gwen were dancing together this time, as were the other couples. Even Eva was dancing.

Noah and Cody sat on the sides, the former happily reading rather than dancing. Izzy wouldn't have any of that, however, so she and Bridgette yanked Cody and Noah off their seats and onto the dance floor, getting them to dance. Tyler was actually pretty good at crumping, but most people wisely stood a fair distance from him when he was doing it. The true masters of the dance floor were Geoff, Harold, Izzy, Duncan, and Chris.

Katie sat alone for a little while, still depressed about Sadie not being there. Then a large hand extended an invitation, and looked up to see DJ was the owner of the hand. Casting her sadness away for now, the pigtailed girl accepted the invitation and joined him on the dance floor.

A few slow dances were played. For most of them, the couples danced with their loved ones. Guys took turns slow dancing with Katie, girls took turns fighting over who would be with Justin. Geoff and Gwen shared a platonic dance, while Ezekiel and Bridgette slow danced once more. Cody didn't get a chance to dance with Gwen, but he get to dance with four other girls (Lindsay, Beth, Katie, and Izzy), so he was pretty satisfied overall.

"I love this show," Chris said to the camera as the campers and he kept the party going to the wee hours of the night, and then some.

* * *

**Cody** - Sadie

**Noah** - Sadie

**Harold** - Katie

**Beth** - Sadie

**Izzy** - Sadie

**Duncan** - Ezekiel

**Ezekiel** - Eva

**Gwen** - Eva

**Katie** - Eva

**Sadie** - Eva

**Eva** - Sadie

--

Sadie - 5

Eva - 4

Katie - 1

Ezekiel - 1

* * *

--

--

--

I'd like to think of this day as the calm before the storm. The action, humor and love will continue on, but starting the next challenge, the drama and revenge and anguish is going to pick up. Things will be getting ugly shortly, and you're all invited for the emotional roller coaster.

If any of you have concerns, let me state at the risk of major spoilers: none of the official couples are going to break up. If I want to do Ezekiel and Bridgette, I can always write a short story on the side.

Bridgette and Geoff, Lindsay and Tyler, Trent and Gwen, Owen and Izzy, Duncan and Courtney, and Harold and Leshawna will all be staying together. I'm still not fully decided on any new pairings, but friendships are in the works!

Ezekiel's Victory Theme - Mother / Earthbound Victory Theme, from Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Another camper has been voted off, and this contest is far from over! Who will be next? What will the teams be next time? Will they ever let Heather out of the communal restrooms? Stay tuned!


	9. Day 3, Part 1: The Impossible Shapes

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you are injured or suffer a major pancreas failure during the reading of this story, I cannot cover your health insurance.

Author's Quite Unnecessary Note That You More Than Likely Are Skipping Over - I have nothing important to say here. Haha.

--

Answers to the Questions of the Readers who reviewed Chapter 8:

**lizark790** - The second camper to go was obvious? Oh well, I tried. Then again, we knew who was getting the boot sometimes on TDI before it was said.

**SSBFreak** - You'll be seeing more of Eva, trust me. As for the cameras, they don't pick up everything, sadly; even when they do, it doesn't always work. Look at Courtney and Harold.

**NekoofWanton** - I'll do a Bridgette & Ezekiel short story when I can think of a good premise. Thanks for the support!

**Nobodies Have Hears** - Thanks, I liked that scissor scene too (and you spelt it right). Oh, and you have _the longest_ signature I have ever seen. Wow!

**All the others reading and reviewing** - Sorry I am not mentioning you all by name, but I want to thank you for your support, encouragement, ideas, and almost-forceful requests for updates; it helps me want to write more. I give you all virtual marshmallows. \tosses them\ You're a good bunch! Here's to TDI, and the upcoming TDA!

And now, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... it was time to settle the old war of popular kids against nerds! We thought it would be best to make them take each other on in not only fields that both are knowledgeable of, but also in fields they look ridiculous doing!

The Freaks 'n Geeks fought with the Cool Kids' Club right until our prom, where they were forced to ruin their dates' beautiful threads. Geoff had his pant leg set on fire, Trent puked, Sadie looked like the creature from the Black Lagoon, and Ezekiel got to slow dance with Bridgette. Strangely, all of them said they had a good time.

At the end of the prom, the nerds found themselves the losers, and both sides took to the shop class to create something impressive enough for a rare prize or immunity. However, it seems Heather was up to her old devious tricks, and stole Ezekiel's bling to win. We did check back on the cameras, but alas, she was too crafty for us. Oh well!

Sadie, much to Katie's sorrow was the one to be voted off. Now it's time for her to find new friends, as all the others will! Will another heartbreaking, bonfire ceremony separate two people close to one another? Will another challenge of oddly picked teammates lead to someone getting beaten? And how well do these campers truly know each other?

All will be revealed on Total... Drama... Comeback!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!_)

* * *

**Chapter 09 (Day 03, Part 1)** - An Alliteration Annoyance

Two days after the wild dance, things were back to normal for the campers. Most of them were bored of being stuck on the island, but some always found something to do.

The early afternoon sky was a beautiful light blue. The air was clean, the surf was steady, and the alligators had headed to the other side of the island to eat stupid seagulls. It was the perfect day for a couple campers to learn how to surf.

Dressed in their swimming attire, Gwen and Ezekiel exchanged worried looks. Sitting on surfboards, the two were almost clinging to them as the waves bobbed them up and down.

"Will you two relax?" Bridgette, treading water next to them, said with a laugh. "You look like you're afraid to fall in the water."

"I don't trust anything about this island," Gwen said with a whimper. "Yesterday, I saw a raccoon coming out of the confessional can's toilet."

"Well, raccoons are filthy things, but ya never know," Geoff said, chuckling, "maybe he wanted to say something to the world!"

"Now what would a raccoon want to say to the world, dude," Trent, swimming next to him, asked.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We don't discriminate.)**

Raccoon - \in raccoonian, english subtitles provided\ "im in ur garbage, stealin yur leftovrs"

* * *

"We're digressing a little here, people," Bridgette said. "C'mon you two, try to stand up on the board. I was doing it before I could walk on land."

"Really?" the other four asked, incredulous.

"Well, that's what my mom tells me."

While Ezekiel imagined how baby Bridgette could do that, he saw something in the distance that was rather distressing: a shark's fin. He cried out, pointing with a trembling finger. The other four looked, and gasped in horror.

"Just... don't make any sudden movements," Bridgette whispered.

The shark fin was getting closer and closer. The teenagers started to shake in fear, except for Gwen, who rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Izzy," she said.

The redhead popped up, the fake shark fin on her back. "Awww, how'd you know?" she asked, that large, mischievous grin on her face.

"I heard you humming the _Jaws_ theme underwater," the goth girl replied. "Honestly, can't you get a new hobby?"

"But this one is so much fun," she giggled, then was splashed in the face by Trent. With a gasp then an evil grin, she splashed back. Soon, all six of them were in a water war.

From the shoreline, Chris watched a little bit before lifting his megaphone to his mouth. "Attention, campers at sea," he shouted in the megaphone. "Dinner will be served in a half-hour. You might not want to miss it, as after dinner comes the third challenge of Total Drama Comeback!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Never out at sea, because we'd get seasick.)**

Trent - "Ever since the second challenge, I've been anxious to meet some more of the campers I never had a chance to. I just keep hoping I can have Gwen with me too, it's not fun competing and knowing she might be voted off because of my victory."

Izzy - \still with her shark fin on\ "This is from a real shark, ya know. I'll bet her husband's really upset now!" \she giggles, then grins sinisterly\ "Payback's a b-"

* * *

The twenty campers were sitting at the usual tables: Screaming Gophers next to the door, Killer Bass next to the kitchen. The food was awful, as usual, but it did have a little seasoning that made it edible.

"You think Chef has ever learned to cook, or does he just wing it?" Cody whispered to Gwen and Trent.

At the Killer Bass table, Geoff was telling a great story about, surprise surprise, one of his massive parties. There was a certain distinction about this one, though.

"And Harold was able to chug a whole liter," Geoff said, slapping the brunette nerd on the back. "Actually, since my friend Pete startled him right at the end, some of it came out his nose, but I count it as a full liter!"

Harold beamed with pride as the others laughed. The one not laughing was Courtney, who was tapping her plate with her spoon.

"Can we stop talking about this, already?" she asked, cranky.

"Aw c'mon, Courtney," Geoff protested. "Bridge and DJ have been asking me about the times Harold partied with me! We're, like, one of the few campers who have actually been able to hang out on a regular basis ever since TDI!"

"Well, I don't _want_ to hear about Harold at your parties," Courtney snapped. "I don't want to hear about Harold, period!"

She slammed her fist on the table at 'period,' glared at the lanky nerd, then looked away from the others.

"Whoa," Geoff said in astonishment, "harshness."

"You'll have to forgive her," Duncan said. "She's mad because I did something a little naughty last night."

"You were in my bed," Courtney hissed at him, "in your _underwear_!"

"What?" Bridgette said, her smile wide and eager. "Oh man, Courtney! I didn't see him, how'd I miss that?"

"She made me go out the window," the criminal replied with a wave of his hand. "Her loss, you know."

"You're such a pig," she said, then scowled at Bridgette, "and why do you look so pleased about this? You'd be disgusted if Geoff did it to you!"

"Oh, she's seen me in my underwear," the party animal replied. The others gaped at him, begging with their eyes to know more. "Well, it wasn't really my underwear," he admitted, "it was... um, never mind."

"Don't you do that to us, man," DJ said, grinning insatiably.

"Tell us, tell us," Katie cried out.

"Well, it was during a party where the guys dared me to try hanging from my head again. Bridgette was there visiting me, as was Harold. I kinda blacked out and fell.

"When I woke up, I went to go find Bridge. She looked at me, and burst out laughing. All my friends were laughing at me... and then, there was Harold.

"Harold was standing there with his arms crossed and a big smirk, and he said," Geoff took a breath before imitating Harold's coarse voice, " 'payback for when you left me naked at Wawanakwa, buddy'."

"You were naked?!" Ezekiel asked, gaping.

"No man, I was wearing...," Geoff was getting red in the face. "It was a... a..."

"Tutu," Bridgette finished for him. "Harold put a ballerina's tutu on him when he was asleep."

The Killer Bass burst out laughing. Tyler and DJ congratulated Harold on such a great prank, Katie was holding onto Bridgette in fear that she'd fall off the table laughing, and Geoff was looking amused but greatly embarrassed.

Only Courtney wasn't laughing. She kept glaring at Harold from the corner of her eye.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Would look bad in a tutu.)**

Courtney - "Okay, I've had it up to here with Harold. I thought I could bear being with him again when I came back here, but no, it's been eating at me inside like some kind of evil bug. And it doesn't help that Geoff won't stop talking about all the parties he's been inviting him too! How could he do that, Harold is a traitor! Trai-_tor_!!"

* * *

"And, oh my _God_," Lindsay was saying to her Gopher teammates, "after they told me they didn't have Deep Magenta nail polish, they actually asked me," she cringed, "if I wanted to try Rich Cranberry nail polish instead!"

She gasped, looking horrified just recalling that. "Can you believe that? It was _soooooo_ unprofessional."

Most of the campers could not believe she had been talking about beauty products for the past fifteen minutes. They wanted to make her stop, but Lindsay's mouth was moving too fast for them to catch up with.

"Yes, that's so terrible," Noah remarked, cutting in at long last. "Like how it took me three months to level my lizardman assassin in The War of Prism all the way to 80, only for the next patch in the game make leveling twice as fast."

The others, including Lindsay, stared at him. Noah looked back, then rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't get the irony. See if I care."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Would have leveled a gnome assassin instead.)**

Noah - "Okay, I've had it to here. No one has a sense of humor, no one has any interest in any activity I like, and most of them lack a full brain. It's like a wise old message board poster once said, 'The more people I meet, the more I love my computer'."

Leshawna - "Noah's been a royal snob since day one. He really hasn't changed since the last time I saw him, which was when we voted his cynical butt off this island about eight months ago. I pity the team who gets him this time."

* * *

"Almost finished, campers?" Chris asked them, standing in front of both tables. "Before I begin describing the challenge you are going to embark on, do you have any questions or concerns? We are here for your convenience, after all."

Most of the campers doubted that.

"Ask him if he has Deep Magenta, Lindsay," Noah suggested.

"Um, Chrith?" Beth asked, reaching her hand up. "Where is Owen? I haven't theen him for a while now."

"Good question, Beth! Here's a cookie," Chris said, giving her said treat. With no Owen to share it with, she gobbled it down herself. "To answer your question, Owen is hanging out at Playa des Losers with Sadie, since he was concerned she would be lonely there all by herself."

"Oh yeah, it was pretty lonely there for the first few weeks doo'ring TDI, eh," Ezekiel said in agreement.

"What do you mean 'weeks,' Ezekiel?" Chris asked, looking confused. "You were the first one voted off, and there was a steady stream of losers to follow."

The prairie boy laughed, smiling bitterly. "Wanna guess who was more fun, eh? There was Eva, who looked ready to rip me a'pert every time she glanced at me; Noah, who didn't want to talk to anyone; Justin, who... doesn't talk...

"Katie, who was going through Sadie withdrawal; Tyler, who was in serious shock after having to be on a boat full of his worst phobia; Izzy never showed up; and Cody was in a full-body cast and had his mouth bandaged shut. Beth was the first person who wasn't a mess when coming back on that boat, eh."

Beth grinned and waved at Ezekiel at the mention of her name.

"Okay, I guess some of our campers did have it a little hard first time around," Chris said.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Never got to go to Playa des Losers.)**

Gwen - \deadly stare right at the camera\ "That understatement is so huge, 'huge' is an understatement for describing it."

* * *

"Now then," Chris said, clapping his hands. "Are you ready, younglings?"

All the campers were gathered on the beach that faced Boney Island. "Today's challenge will be something unique: four teams competing for victory! We're splitting you all up into groups of five campers, giving you five challenges for you to compete in, and the complete freedom of who does which parts of the challenge!"

Chris unfolded a map on a stand, and tapped it with a pointing stick. "The first part is the Rapid River Rafting! From the river due north of here, teammate A is going to raft all the way down the river, over the waterfall, then they will meet up with their second teammate.

"The second part is the Wild Wheel Whirl! On a first come, first serve basis, teammate A and teammate B get to choose their ride. They must ride together from that checkpoint, through the campgrounds, and right to here!" He tapped the sandy beach with his foot.

"What is there to choose from?" Eva asked, looking very determined.

"There will be a dual-seat bicycle, a tricycle with a passenger seat on the back, a motorcycle, and a unicycle."

Trent and Izzy looked excited. DJ did not.

"Now here, teammate A will wave good-bye to teammate B, who will paddle a canoe with teammate C directly over to Boney Island in the Canoe Caper Challenge! No taking any souvenirs this time, Beth!"

The farm girl blushed and nodded obediently.

"Once teammate B and C make it to the far end, they'll be meeting teammates D and E. D and E are going to carry teammate C on a stretcher along the beach of Boney Island to the far end in the Strong Stretcher Stampede."

Noah was shaking his head at every alliteration. "Someone discovered a new pastime," he muttered. Leshawna glared at him, and the egghead shrugged.

"Once C, D, and E get to the far end, you have your choice of either teammate D or E performing the final challenge: the Bold Boney Beeline! Your final teammate will run through Boney Island's core, and up on top of what is known as Cranium Mountain. You know that giant skull carving in the mountainside? You'll be running on top there!

"Once up there, you'll find four hang gliders. The final teammate is going to hang glide over the sea and back here on the beach. First one to cross the white line on the beach...," he gestured over at a white line that had been lain out on the sand, "wins for their team!"

"Can you really hang glide that far?" DJ asked, quite nervous.

"Well, I told Chef to glide over here to show you how safe it was," Chris said, then looked at his watch. "He should be arriving at any moment now."

Chef's horrified scream came racing towards the shoreline. On a hang glider and at high speed, the very large man slammed into the beach, embedding halfway into the sand.

Chris winced. "Chef man," he shouted at him, "you're supposed to pull up at the end!"

Shaking his head as the cook struggled to pull himself out, the host turned back to the unnerved campers. "Now, all the campers who are left behind, which would be B, C, and then D or E, will be picked up by the Boat of Losers and dropped off at the beach here to cheer on their teammates! That's how things are going to be!

"Any questions?"

Beth did, of course. "If someone crashes in the ocean when hang gliding back, are they disqualified?"

"Beth, you're making me run out of cookies," Chris said as he handed her a chocolate chip cookie. The farm girl broke it in half and shared it with Leshawna. "To answer your question, no. The final camper may swim, hang glide, or even get in a canoe and paddle back if they choose to. But the interns, a.k.a. Owen and Chef, have proven that hang gliding is supreme with speed!"

The campers all looked at each other, wondering just how bad this was going to hurt. Bridgette actually looked excited.

"River rafting, cycling, canoeing, beach walks, and hang gliding," she said, almost swooning. "This might actually be fun!"

"Now _that's_ the spirit, Bridgette," Chris said, clapping. "And you all should share her enthusiasm, because your place in the race will earn you some great prizes!

"First place earns the five members of your team some high-quality sheets and pillows for your cabin beds! And when I say high-quality, I mean we really blew some money to get the best kind possible! And you get to keep them when your time on Wawanakwa is over!"

All of the campers gasped and cheered at this. They were sick of the thin blankets and rough pillows.

"First place also gets to vote for who will be voted off from the last place team!"

Courtney, Gwen, and Heather were most interested in this. They looked over at the people they detested the most, and clenched their fists in determination.

"Second place earns the same pillows, just no sheets," Chris continued on. "Third place gets... nothing! Too bad!

"Fourth place... is sending someone home!"

"Will there be a follow-up challenge for immunity?" Tyler asked.

"There will be, but there can only be one! Only one winner, that is! Only one member of the losing team gets immunity, and the remaining four are at the mercy of their teammates, and the first place winners! Any questions?"

"Are you all ready? Because we call this challenge... the All-Star Athlete Alliteration!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Come chat, carefully close.)**

Noah - "He enjoys that _way_ too much. And I really want to know what little surprises he has in store, like he always does."

Trent - "I'm really sick of that island, but... the motorcycle! I hope my new teammates will be okay with me riding that part."

Eva - "Finally, something I can sink my teeth into! I'm going to rip them all apart, and then I'll jump up and down on the pieces, and then... then I'll _laugh_ at the flattened pieces!"

* * *

"Now for the new teams," Chris announced, walking over to the left end of the campers' line, "the first team will be the Round Rectangles!"

Noah frowned, looking irked by this. "That's not physically possible," he said.

"Exactly," Chris said with a large smile. "It's to rub in the face of the nerds who lost last challenge."

"I'm not disturbed by it," Duncan replied.

"I thee no problem with funny names," Beth said.

"Meh, it's kind of creative," Cody stated.

Noah sighed and shook his head. "Fine, what-_ever_!"

"Now on the Round Rectangles will be Heather, Trent, Harold, Bridgette, and Ezekiel! All of you, over here!"

The five campers went and stood where Chris was. As Chris walked to the right, Ezekiel and Heather started to stare each other down. Trent had to step in front of them to prevent a fight.

"The second team will be the Oval Octagons," the handsome host announced. Speaking over Noah's indignant groan, he said, "On this team will be Noah, Lindsay, Eva, Duncan, and Leshawna!"

The five gathered up, Leshawna giving Noah a harsh look. The egghead didn't seem unnerved in the least, and when he rolled his eyes and turned his back on her, she shoved him down in the sand.

"The third team will be the Circular Cubes," Chris said, ignoring the violence behind him, "and on this team will be Geoff, Tyler, Katie, Gwen, and Izzy!"

Izzy let out a happy cheer, and jumped on Geoff's back. "Izzy is excited, are you guys?"

"Thrilled beyond explanation," Gwen said, unenthusiastic.

"And that leaves the remaining five people on the Asymmetrical Parallels," the host said as he stood at the end of the line. "That would be Justin, Beth, Cody, Courtney, and DJ!"

"Now, I'll give you a half-hour to decide who is going to be Camper A, Camper B, Camper C, Camper D, and Camper E. Go discuss, then come back here so we can get into position!" Chris said, clapping his hands. "Let's see how generous your new friends are!"

* * *

**(The Round Rectangles)**

Trent was still having to stand between Ezekiel and Heather. "Come on, you two," he said, trying to be the peace maker. "Ezekiel man, I know you're still upset, but we have to work together to win this!"

Bridgette, who was crossing her arms and staring angrily at Heather too, said, "Well then, I suppose Miss Heather will want to be Camper C."

"Is there any other position I should take in this stupid contest?" the ravenhair shouted, throwing her hands up in indignation. "There's no way I'm running through Boney Island! Why don't you do that, Miss Back to Nature?"

The surfer girl looked away, wringing her hands nervously. "Um, that's not a good idea."

"What? Why, Bridgette?" Harold asked.

"Don't you all remember? I'm terrified to be alone in the woods."

"That's too bad," Heather said, quite unsympathetically. "So why don't you do the river rafting?"

"That wouldn't be so bad, I guess."

"I'll do the wheel race part," said Trent, clapping his hands. "Bridgette, if you can get to the bikes fast enough, I'll be able to get the motorcycle!"

Bridgette did not seem too thrilled about this. "Um, the motorcycle? Are you sure?"

"I've got one of my own," Trent said, smiling, "and I've got a license to drive one."

"Really?" Harold looked stoked, as did Ezekiel. "Awesome, dude!"

"Yes, it's great you have such an impressive toy," Heather said, throwing her hair back. "So Bridgette is the river rafter, Trent the biker, and I'll be the canoe paddler, which I guess means I am stuck with you two scrawny boys carrying me."

She shot a mean glance at Harold and Ezekiel. Ezekiel returned it, while Harold looked confused. "Do I have to run through the woods?" the lanky geek asked. "I don't do well in gym class."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Heather said.

"Okay, that does it, eh; that tears it," Ezekiel shouted, and lunged at Heather. Trent and Bridgette held him back as he shouted, "Lemme at her! I'm gonna shave her head, so she'll be a b'uld freak ag'een, eh!"

Heather backed up, then sneered at her teammates. "You control your wild prairie cat, I'll go tell Chris our team's order."

She turned with a flip of her hair, strutting off with her nose turned up. After Ezekiel stopped struggling, he simply glared at the back of her departing head. "Can't we just lose this one so we can vote her off, eh?!"

"As much as everyone here would love that," Bridgette said, "I don't want to take the risk that she'll get the immunity in the next challenge."

"Right, right," the prairie boy said as he stood up. "So, are we prepared?"

Harold and Trent nodded, while Bridgette looked nervously at Trent.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's not what's for dinner.)**

Bridgette - "I know I should be nice to Gwen's boyfriend; she's nice to Geoff. But I don't like motorcycles because they're so loud and polluting. Trent being a motorcycle fan makes it harder for me to get along with him."

Trent - "Bridgette is such a nice person. I can see why Geoff and Gwen get along with her so well. I think we'll be great teammates."

* * *

**(The Oval Octagons)**

"I'm going through those woods and hang gliding down to the beach. Everyone _clear_ with that?" Eva said with a sharp glare. Her teammates nodded quite quickly.

"I can be the one who lies on the stretcher," Lindsay said, giggling. "That okay with you guys?"

"I was hoping for that part, actually," Noah said, crossing his arms. "I would think you'd want to do the bicycling part, or have your nails not dried yet?"

Lindsay looked down at her nails, oblivious to sarcasm as always. "Nope, they're good."

Duncan scoffed, crossing his arms. "You guys are going to argue about who's on that stretcher for all eternity. So why don't we flip a coin or somethin'?"

Leshawna looked over at Duncan like if he was growing a third eye. "What are you talking about, punk? Lindsay obviously would be easier to carry on a stretcher."

"I'm not exactly an elephant," Noah remarked, looking rather irked.

"No, it's because...," Duncan grabbed Leshawna's arm and led her from the other, whispering, "because either way, Eva can carry both those featherweights. And if Lindsay is in your canoe, she's going to want to tan instead of row."

"You don't know Noah," Leshawna replied. "He won't do anything physical."

"Leshawna, I know you," Duncan said, smirking. "If you can make _me_ do something I don't want to, then you can get Noah to do it."

Leshawna smirked back and raised an eyebrow. "You sure are devious, white boy. Leave it to me to break him."

"Don't break him too much," Duncan replied as they headed back to the others. "Okay, I'm rafting, Leshawna is cycling, Noah is being carried by Lindsay and Eva, then the world's strongest woman will do the run through Boney Island!"

The teammates, except Eva, nodded. She raised an eyebrow in suspicion at Duncan.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It gets lonely when the campers are doing the challenges.)**

Eva - "The 'world's strongest woman'? Was that a subtle insinuation that I am a circus freak?"

Duncan - "Leshawna's the only good teammate I have. I mean, Noah is a slacker. And Lindsay may be really hot but is as useful in a hard challenge as a water pistol is to putting out a wild fire. And if that circus freak Eva gets eaten on Boney Island, the world will be a more peaceful place.

* * *

**(The Circular Cubes)**

Geoff had his arms around Tyler and Katie. "Okay, guys! We're going to win this one," he let out a cheer then looked over at the two who were Screaming Gophers beforehand. "Gwen, Izzy, you cool?"

Izzy, who was on Gwen's back now, nodded enthusiastically. Gwen rolled her eyes, but smiled at Geoff. "Yeah, we're cool, Geoff. Got a plan, party man?"

"Well, I think Katie could do the river rafting. That okay, Katie?"

"I was gonna ask if I could," she said with a big smile. "It's like you can read my mind, Geoff!"

"I could do that at one point," Izzy said, lazily hanging her arms over Gwen's shoulders. "It was really disturbing what some people were thinking, so I beat my head against a wall until I lost that ability."

The others stared, all looking disturbed except Geoff. "Right on, Red," the party animal shouted happily, pointing at her, "and you can be the cyclist!"

"That'd be cool," Izzy said, beaming at him.

"Wait, I gotta ride with her?" Katie asked, looking nervously at Izzy.

"Katie, I know she wasn't our teammate during TDI, but she and Gwen are cool!"

Izzy being a Screaming Gopher previously was not the main reason Katie had for not wanting to be on the same vehicle with her.

"Besides, I think Izzy is talented enough to operate any of the cycles," Geoff said, patting Katie on the back. "You'll be fine."

"If Katie is going to be brave enough to ride a cycle with Izzy," Gwen said, "then I guess I can bear being in a canoe with her."

Izzy was now looking down Gwen's shirt. "Has Trent seen your boobies yet?" she asked the goth girl.

Gwen threw her off her back immediately, to which the redhead merely grinned. "I have a bet with Owen. We're trying to find out which couples have been to second base besides us."

"I don't want to hear that," Gwen shouted, clapping her hands over her ears. "Geoff, can you change your mind about Izzy? Have her run through the woods and get chased by those carnivore beavers?"

"I thought of that, but Izzy's afraid of flying, Gwen," Geoff said. "She'd probably be terrified of hang gliding too."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We'd be terrified to do it too.)**

Gwen - "It really surprises me how nice Geoff is. He's concerned for Izzy, _Izzy_! That girl has a more near-suicidal recklessness personality than Gonzo the Great, and he thought ahead to make sure she wouldn't be frightened." \She smiles.\ "Bridgette really picked herself a great man."

Izzy - "I wonder if Geoff has seen Bridgette's boobs?" /taps her chin/ "Probably, since she's seen his chest. Then again, we all have. Hmmm... this calls for investigation! I'll have to put my pursuit on Duncan on hold for now."

* * *

"So, it's between Tyler and I who will be running through Boney Island and hang glide off the top of the mountain," Geoff continued.

Katie scratched the back of her neck. She didn't want to say aloud that she didn't think Tyler was a good idea; she might hurt the jock's feelings. "Well, about Tyler," she said, thinking about her words carefully, "are you still into sports? I mean, you haven't worn your sports attire since we got here."

Tyler looked down at his Hawaiian shirt and jeans. "Well, I may not dress it, but I still love sports, bra," he said, then looked up at Geoff. "Besides, I think I heard that the first time Geoff went to Boney Island, he suffered a major injury and almost died?"

"I heard that too," Katie gasped, clutching Geoff's arm. "Did it leave a big scar? Was Bridgette concerned?"

"Chill guys, chill," Geoff said, smiling as cool as ever. "It was pretty bad, I did think for a little while there thought I was not going to make it, but it was cool. Still, Tyler, if you want to do this instead..."

Tyler thumped his chest. "I can do it, man!"

They high-fived, and the girls cheered. "Here's to the Circular Cubes," Geoff shouted, pumping his fist in the air; his teammates did the same.

* * *

**(The Asymmetrical Parallels)**

Courtney looked over her new teammates with a keen eye. Justin was smiling and standing at attention, looking oh-so-fine. Beth was bouncing anxiously on her feet. Cody was crossing his arms, and, in the most laughable look Courtney had ever seen, giving her a sly look. DJ, her only former Killer Bass member, was smiling politely at her.

"Okay, people," she said to them, pacing back and front of the four person lineup. "We need a strategy that will be the best advantage to everyone. Does anyone have any preference as to what part of this challenge they will do?"

Beth raised her hand. "I think I will be good at the river rafting part! I did it once in thummer with my couthin!"

Her spit landed on Courtney, who tried to ignore it but shuddered. "Alright Beth, that sounds okay. Speaking of water," she turned to DJ, "is there any way I can convince you to do that canoe pushing like you did on our first trip to Boney Island?"

"I can do it, I'm sure of that," DJ said, "but does that mean I'm cycling? Because I don't think we'll do well if you guys have to carry me."

"No, DJ, you can cycle," she said, chuckling politely at his attempt at a joke. "I think I will be the one getting carried. Cody and Justin will do that, then Justin can do the run through Boney Island."

Both of the boys looked less than thrilled by this suggestion. "Um... Courtney?" Cody asked, raising his hand obediently. "I was kind of hoping I could do that part."

The C.I.T. looked the scrawny geek over, then scowled. "I think Justin is a bit more qualified for such a difficult trek through Boney Island, Cody."

"But I know my way around there better than Justin, and I also know how to avoid the native animals and the traps Chris set up."

Courtney stared at Cody, crossing her arms under her breasts and looking very serious. "If I let you do this, you'll be held accountable if we lose. Got it?"

"I do," Cody said, smiling.

This actually surprised Courtney. All the people she knew from home would have immediately ducked out at the sign of personal responsibility that intense; Cody seemed honored to be held accountable.

"Well, that is... good of you," she said. "Justin, you okay with this?"

The model, very glad not to run through untamed wilds, nodded and grinned. Holding back a swoon, Courtney turned to face all her teammates.

"I know a lot of us are strangers here," she said, sounding as mature and inspirational as possible, "but I think we have a good group here. The other teams may have people who are stronger and faster, but with people like Heather and Duncan and Eva, you cannot work as a team properly. We can, and we can do this!"

She put her hand out in front of her. "To the Asymmetrical Parallels... woo, that's a mouthful!"

"To... us," the others shouted as they put their hands in.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Courtney's venting space.)**

Courtney - "I'd be lying if I said I had full trust in my teammates. DJ is a coward, and I don't know the other three at all. Justin is good to look at, but it's hard to trust someone who doesn't talk. Beth is... well, I hate to sound mean, but she is the definition of a geeky girl; still, I know there's some spunk in her, and I hope she can harness it. And Cody... boy. That kid thinks he's all that. He's got an ego like Duncan, but he's not anywhere near as handsome."

\She pauses for a second, then her eyes go wide.\ "I meant aggressive! Aggressive is what I meant! Chris, if you broadcast this, I _demand_ you edit that last part out."

* * *

"Okay, river rafters," Chris was saying to the four campers in front of him. They were standing on a small wooden dock that was located at the calm part of the river. "You four are going to be starting this challenge by rafting down the river, then down the waterfall. If you survive that, you'll-"

"Wait wait wait," Katie shouted, looking very nervous. "Is it that dangerous?"

"Heather and Leshawna came out uninjured when they did it last season," Chris said. "It was during those shoots we told you would be for the opening theme."

"I remember that," Beth said, smiling. "I almost burnt the dock down when I dropped the fire baton. They cut that part out, ya know."

"When you get to the bottom of the waterfall, on your left will be your cycling partner, waiting for you," Chris continued. "You'd better raft fast, because he who rafts last won't cycle fast."

He chuckled at his little rhyming game, then looked at his watch. "The contest begins in three minutes. Beth, Duncan, Bridgette, Katie... are you four ready?"

"Yes," they shouted enthusiastically.

"Oh Chrith," Beth asked after the cheer. "You... didn't put anything like leeches or piranha in the river, did you?"

"As much as I would like to make this challenge more dangerous," Chris said with a shrug, "there's no way to tell leeches or piranha to stay in a river. So you four luck out in that your only dangers are your opponents, rocks, fast current near the end, and that waterfall.

"The challenge begins in two minutes now! Prepare yourselves!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Preparing itself.)**

Katie - "This one's for you, Sadie!"

Bridgette - "This one's for you, Geoff!"

Duncan - "This one's for you, Courtney!"

Beth - "Thith one's for you, Big Bertha! I miss you, and I hope mom and dad are treating you well! You're the best pig in Canada!" \She giggles and snorts.\

Raccoon - \in raccoonian, english subtitles provided\ "im in ur outhouse, usin up all ur film"

* * *

**Part 2, when the challenge really begins, is coming soon!**

* * *

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If you need a little reminder of who's on which team, here's a cheat sheet of the teammates and the order in which they are participating:

**The Round Rectangles (RR)** - Bridgette, Trent, Heather, Harold, Ezekiel

**The Oval Octagons (O2)** - Duncan, Leshawna, Noah, Lindsay, Eva

**The Circular Cubes (CC)** - Katie, Izzy, Gwen, Geoff, Tyler

**The Asymmetrical Parallels (AP)** - Beth, DJ, Courtney, Justin, Cody


	10. Day 3, Part 2: Campers vs Predators

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you are injured or suffer a major pancreas failure during the reading of this story, I cannot cover your health insurance.

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* * *

**Chapter 10 (Day 03, Part 2)** - The Horrors Outdoor'ors

With a shot of the starting pistol, the four rafters hurried to their inner tubes. Leaping in, they began to paddle off, but not without a paddle war between Duncan and Beth.

"En guard, Duncan," Beth shouted as they dueled while floating down the river. Bridgette and Katie took this opportunity to speed up their efforts.

"Thou will not defeat me, oh puny woman," the punk shouted back with a swing of his paddle. Wood against wood, they exchanged blows.

A sudden drop in the river almost made both of them lose their balance. Remembering the challenge, they sat down and began to paddle for real. Bumping Beth's raft into the side, Duncan sped off down the river.

"I'll get you for that, you knave," Beth shouted, grinning despite it all. She began to paddle, but her small arms weren't able to generate enough speed to catch up with Duncan.

Duncan caught up with Katie and Bridgette, who were both furiously paddling and splashing the other as a distraction. The punk rammed his inner tube into both of theirs, and let out a loud cheer.

"Having fun yet, fellow rafters?" he asked, grinning insatiably. He jabbed at their rafts, saying, "Now let me through."

"Yeah right, Duncan," Katie replied, stick her tongue out at him.

"Then allow me," the criminal said as he jammed his paddle under Katie's raft, wedging it between their rafts, "to flip you off!"

He leapt onto the handle of his paddle, and the force of his makeshift lift flung Katie and her raft up into the air and crashing down on the riverbank.

"Woohoo, now that's how I roll," Duncan shouted, pumping his fists and his paddle in the air. When he looked forward again, he realized that Bridgette now was racing down the river.

"Damn, forgot that girl is the queen of water sports," he said, getting back to rowing.

Katie, who had recovered from her little flight, tossed her raft back in the river and leapt back in. She rowed furiously, cursing Duncan under her breath.

Beth was still far behind. She was paddling, but she was singing a song to pace herself, and it wasn't a very fast song.

* * *

When Bridgette saw the waterfall up ahead, she picked up her speed a little more and went over. She let out a wild cheer as she felt herself fall, her ponytail whipping above her. With a wet smack, she landed back in her raft, almost sinking it. Wiping the water off of her face, she paddled for the left side of the bank.

On the shore were Trent, Leshawna, Izzy, and DJ. The musician saw Bridgette approaching the beach alone, and waved excitedly at her.

"Bridgette, way to go," he cheered for her. She smiled as he helped her from her waterlogged ride.

He ran over to the four available wheel vehicles, standing next to the sleek and shiny motorcycle with two helmets upon the seat. With a wicked grin, he plucked one of the two helmets off and tossed it to Bridgette. "Take off the life jacket and put that on, because we're going on a wild ride."

"Um, Trent?" Bridgette said after she caught the helmet. "Do we really have to take the motorcycle? Can't we take the... um, tricycle instead?"

"The tricycle? You kidding, Bridgette?" Trent said, walking over to her with his helmet in his hands.

"Not really. I don't like motorcycles," she admitted. "What about the bicycle? How about that?"

"Bridgette, we don't have much time before the others arrive," Trent said, looking over at the waterfall to see if anyone was coming. Sure enough, Duncan, with a very loud 'whoo,' plummeted down the waterfall.

"Trent, those things are really loud and dangerous and-"

"Bridgette, hear me out, okay?" Trent put his hand on her shoulder. "I've been working on motorcycles for some time now, driving them almost as long. I promise I'll go as safe as possible, but we have to go now before Duncan grabs it and we lose our lead, okay?"

Bridgette looked into Trent's eyes. He seemed so honest and trusting that she felt most of her apprehension melt away. "O... Okay," she caved in.

After putting on their motorcycle helmets, Trent got on with Bridgette behind him, her arms around his waist. He started the vehicle up, and it was much quieter than the surfer chick thought it would be.

"I thought motorcycles were really loud," she shouted to Trent as they took off across the campgrounds.

"Only if you modify them to be," the musician replied.

Duncan was now getting on the shore, looking around for Bridgette. "Where's Malibu Barbie?"

"If you mean Bridgette, he and Gwen's man sped off in the motorcycle," Leshawna said, angrily jerking a thumb behind them. "We could've had that if your scrawny arms had paddled a little harder."

"Yeah well, at least we got the bike," Duncan said, gesturing at the dual-seat bicycle. "Better that than the unicycle, 'cause your very un-scrawny butt would burst that poor tire."

Leshawna twitched, then leapt at Duncan, forcing him down into the sand. "What did you say?" she shouted as she pushed his face into the sand. "Say that again, I dare ya! I'll rub your piercings right off!"

Izzy and DJ exchanged perplexed looks. Both knew it would be best to stay out of the fight, but there was no harm in watching. Izzy suggested they make bets, but since they both knew Leshawna was winning, they just enjoyed the fight.

After several minutes of struggling, Duncan and Leshawna finally calmed down enough to get on the dual-seat bicycle. The criminal, seated on the back seat, mentioned how she was obscuring his view. Leshawna shook with pent-up rage, but managed to refrain from leaping off her seat and killing him.

DJ and Izzy, now bored, sat on the sand and watched the waterfall. "Think they fell off their rafts or something?" DJ asked the redhead.

"Happened to me once, when I was tubing down the Amazon."

"You've been to the Amazon?"

"Or maybe I'm thinking of the Mississippi River! Anyway, I fell off my raft, and then I had to make a new one out of branches, vines, and a dead crocodile!"

"You killed a poor crocodile?" DJ asked, looking heartbroken.

"Was either him or me, he sank my raft after all," Izzy said, miming how she stabbed the crocodile with a spear. DJ winced as if he was the one being stabbed. "I made some boots out of him when the whole ordeal was over. You know, so that he was useful after life. I would've worn them here, but the producers said that PETA would complain."

DJ sat there, scared pretty bad as Izzy hummed a tune and bobbed her head. After a few more seconds of awkward silence, the crazy girl looked over at DJ again. "So, I hear you have a girlfriend back home?"

"Oh yes. She's really something, ya know?" DJ said, happy to talk about something that did not involve killing critters. "She's part of the pet club at my high school."

"Ah, the pet club," Izzy said, nodding her head and beaming at him. "I was once part of the pet club, but for some reason, they don't consider snakes as pets."

"You got... a snake for a pet?" the large guy whimpered, remembering how much he feared snakes. "Is that safe?"

"Not all snakes are poisonous or able to eat a man whole," the redhead said, grinning at DJ. "Though I doubt even the biggest snake could swallow you, DJ."

"Gee, thanks."

Before their awkward conversation (at least, for DJ) could continue, they heard a high-pitched scream. Katie had fallen down the waterfall, and now, losing her raft, she had to doggie-paddle over to the shore.

"Alright, Katie, way to conquer those rapids," Izzy cheered as her teammate swam to shore. "Now quick, let's get the unicycle!"

"Wait," Katie sputtered, spitting water out and ringing it out of her pigtails, "the unicycle? But... the tricycle is still there!"

"That slow thing? I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot spear," Izzy said, waving her hand at the three-wheeled vehicle. "Now the unicycle, that's made for speed!"

The crazy girl propped it up, then _leapt_ onto the seat. WIth perfect agility, she rolled back to Katie, who stared flabbergasted. "C'mon Katie, climb on my back! I'll take you for a ride you'll never forget!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - On no wheels to speak of.)**

Katie - " 'A ride I'll never forget' was exactly the reason I didn't want to get on her back."

* * *

Swallowing nervously, Katie crawled up on Izzy's back, her legs around the crazy girl's waist and her arms around her upper chest.

"Hold on to your pigtails, because here we go!"

Like a one-wheeled rocket, Izzy sped off with Katie wailing. DJ watched them go, wondering just how safe that really was.

A chubby finger poked him from behind, and he turned to see a drenched Beth looking up at him. "Ready to go, DJ?"

The big guy nodded and smiled. With only one vehicle left, DJ had to wedge himself into the front seat of the tricycle, and Beth was a little squished behind him in the passenger seat. When DJ started off, Beth noticed a passing butterfly cut them off.

"Go, DJ, go," Beth cheered, positive as ever. She rubbed the big guy's shoulders. "You can do this, yes you can! Go go go!"

"I'm going, woohoo," DJ said with a cheer.

A grasshopper bounced past them as they rocketed off at a little less than a mile an hour.

* * *

Bridgette was hugging close to Trent, hoping to everything above that they did not crash. Even though Trent kept the motorcycle at a decent speed and was driving sensibly, she still couldn't help but be scared.

"You doing alright back there, Bridgette?" Trent, as if reading her mind, called back to her.

"I... I'm fine!" Then she saw, ahead of them, DJ's Bunny hopping across the campgrounds, directly in front of them. "BUNNY," she shrieked, pointing at the fluffy, soon-to-be roadkill.

Trent turned, riding the motorcycle at a forty-five degree angle as he swerved to miss the gray rabbit. He zoomed right by, missing Bunny as he hopped along, oblivious to what would have been a violent death.

Bridgette let out a relieved sigh, then saw something else in front of them. "CHEF!!"

Trent swerved the motorcycle to avoid hitting the big man, who had come out of the cafeteria to throw the food scraps away. The musician managed to avoid hitting the cook, but the big man was so startled that he threw up his pot of revolting scraps in the air; it came down on his head, coating him in his own revolting work.

Bridgette and Trent both laughed as they drove off. A raccoon came out of the Confessional Can, and was almost hit by the motorcycle. It chattered angrily, then went back in the Confessional Can to complain about society more.

Chef, furious and shaking with rage, removed the pot from his head. Then he was knocked down when Izzy clotheslined him as she zipped by.

"Yeeehaw," she screamed, "ten points for the bad cook!"

"That was so totally awesome," Katie screamed, whooping and laughing. They passed by Duncan and Leshawna, the two girls cackling and squealing in joy.

Far behind them, DJ was pedaling as fast as could. A fat toad with three legs bounced by his vehicle. When he saw Bunny outdoors, he took time out to go put his furry friend back in the boy's side of the Killer Bass cabin.

* * *

Bridgette and Trent arrived at the shore far ahead of the others. The blond surfer removed her helmet, and let out a relieved sigh.

"Well, I'm still not a fan of motorcycles," she said to Trent with a smile, "but you drove really well."

"Thank you," Trent replied, smiling back.

"Trent," came the sharp voice of Heather, who was looking impatient. "Stop chatting with surfer girl and let's get going before those losers catch up."

"Good luck," Bridgette said as Trent ran to the canoes. She then called out in addition, "And don't kill her!"

Trent put on his life vest and pushed the canoe, with Heather, into the water. He managed to wave to Gwen, who was waiting by her canoe. The goth girl waved back.

"I'll never understand why you're dating her," Heather said to Trent after he got in. "I mean, she is-"

"Save it, Heather," Trent snapped. "I don't want to hear you talk trash about Gwen while we work together."

The queen bee was astonished at first, then shrugged. "Fine by me. Let's just keep this lead."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - With a special surprise guest.)**

Heather - "I truly don't understand what Trent sees in her. He's handsome, talented, skilled, and articulate... she's something out of _The Nightmare Before Christmas_. I hope he drops her like the rodent she is."

\The raccoon falls down from the ceiling, where it was crawling. It lands her in her lap, she screams, and the two scramble to get away from each other.\

* * *

Gwen watched as her boyfriend and her worst enemy left in the same canoe. She sighed, then was startled when Courtney let out a frustrated scream.

"Where are they?" she hollered, stomping her foot on the sand. "How could DJ be so slow?"

The next couple to show up were Izzy and Katie, racing past the checkpoint, across the beach, and crashing into the ocean. They rose up, laughing and cheering, as Izzy held up the unicycle and tossed it on the beach.

"Ready to go, Gwen?" the redhead shouted as she leapt into the canoe that Gwen was next to.

"Is one ever ready for their demise?" the goth girl muttered as she shoved the canoe into the water.

Before Izzy and Gwen started to paddle, Leshawna and Duncan arrived at the beach. The punk waved good-bye to Leshawna, who ran over to her canoe. Noah was already in it, reading his book as usual.

"Duncan slow you down much?" the egghead asked as Leshawna shoved the boat into the water.

"Don't give me any of your snide back talk, I am _so_ not in the mood," the large sister replied as she got into the canoe herself.

"DJ," Courtney screamed, grabbing her hair. "Where are you?"

* * *

"Noah, why aren't you paddling?"

The egghead was still reading, sitting in the back of the canoe. "You probably want to fully exercise both your upper and lower body," he said with a wry smile. "The bicycling helped you exercise your lower body, the rowing will help you with your upper body strength."

"Oh no no no no!"

Leshawna was at the other side of the canoe in a heartbeat. She grabbed Noah's book and slammed it down on the canoe floor. "You are _not_ gonna be slacking off here, you get me?"

Noah was almost stunned by this, then angered. "You can act as loud and sassy as you want, but I'm not intimidated by you."

"Listen you skinny sweater vest-wearing twerp," Leshawna snapped as she grabbed Noah by the collar, "if you think I'm gonna cave in because you're throwing me attitude, you've got another think coming! If I can handle Duncan, or a household of siblings, I can certainly handle you."

She thrust a paddle into his chest, almost knocking him down. He took it in his hands, most grudgingly, and started to paddle. "The older sister routine, huh?" he muttered. His face was twisted in an ugly sneer. "Why don't you just threaten to scratch my face off, or go gossiping about me at school?"

"I don't give a flying canoe about what your siblings do," Leshawna replied, rowing hard. "I just don't want to put up with your ego while we are losing."

Noah grumbled more. "And people wonder why older sisters are detested by their little brothers. What is it with you older siblings that makes you think you're so much better?"

"Well maybe if you actually tried to help your team out, I wouldn't need to be kicking your scrawny butt every step of the way."

"Like it'd do any good in the end. It wouldn't be appreciated or recognized."

"What makes you think that?" Leshawna asked, turning around to him. Though her nerves were shot and Noah was one of her least favorite campers, her natural desire to help others need in need was kicking in.

Noah sighed, still rowing albeit slowly. "I come from a big family. Nine siblings, and I'm the youngest. My dog gets more attention than I do, and that's because he drools."

"That ain't no reason to not try, boy," Leshawna replied. "What, you think your parents had you because they thought nine would be a nice number or something?"

"Well, when the third kid is getting married, the fifth kid thinks she's pregnant, and the eighth kid is going off to college, no one around the house cares about your latest achievement or grade," Noah shrugged. "I once flunked a test on purpose to see if I could get a reaction out of them.

"Of course, none of that really matters to me now. I know they prefer me to just stay out of the way."

"Don't be so quick to diss your family," Leshawna replied. "How bad it could be? You're not a psycho or an idiot."

Noah looked away from her eyes, into the water. He had never told anyone what had haunted him for nine years, and he wasn't even sure why he was telling her; however, it was high time to get this off his chest.

"When I was seven years old, I fell down the stairs at my house and broke both my legs. I had to be in a wheelchair for several weeks. But right after I broke my legs, I overheard my father telling my mother about it. And she said..."

" 'Well, good thing it was Noah. He barely stands up anyway.'

He sighed, then shrugged. "After that, I just decided to stay at my computer or read. It'd just be easier for everyone else."

Leshawna exhaled at this, then looked at him sympathetically. "That sounds pretty harsh, hon. But, and not to be devil's advocate, are you sure she wasn't just stressed out? She had a house full of kids and other problems to check with."

"I'm sure she was stressed, but when you're seven, you don't think about that," Noah said with a shrug.

"Have you ever talked to her about this?"

"No. I don't think I want to. It's been a long time."

"Don't think like that, egghead. Bad memories just eat you up inside if you don't face them. You don't want to be an angry witch like Heather, now do ya?"

Noah couldn't help but smile. "No, no I don't. I'd look bad in a tube top."

Leshawna laughed. "That's the spirit, bookworm. Now, you gonna help me paddle?"

The know-it-all looked down at the paddle, a tool of physical work that he hated on principle. "I say... let's head up the creek!"

The two began to paddle, before they were almost knocked over by a surging wave, caused by DJ pushing the canoe Courtney was in.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - In last place, since it cannot move.)**

Noah - \smiling\ "I guess I underestimated Leshawna. It might be worth getting along with some of the other campers here. At the least, they'll say something new." \He lifts up his book.\ "This has been a little bit repetitive after the fifth read, and all I can think about when I read it is, how last time I was trying to, Lindsay was complaining about blush colors."

* * *

As DJ and Courtney sped by Noah and Leshawna, they were quickly coming up on Izzy and Gwen. The redheaded girl looked back to see them, and gasped.

"Oh no, it's that really crabby girl," she cried out.

"Heather?" Gwen asked, baffled because she was certain Trent and Heather were ahead of them. When she looked back at Izzy, the crazy girl was tying her shark fin on her back.

"Izzy, dare I guess that you're about to-"

"Time to strike fear in the heart of the competition!"

She jumped out of the canoe, then swam towards Courtney's canoe on an interception path. When the C.I.T. saw that gray fin approaching, she froze up.

"DJ?" she whimpered, too quiet for him to hear.

DJ didn't notice the shark fin until it was several feet from him. He let go of the canoe, which shot forward without him, and he screamed.

"Boo," Izzy shouted as she sprang up from under the water.

The gentle giant shrieked, and swam in the opposite direction. Courtney, furious, had to start back-paddling. "Izzy, you'll pay for this!"

The redhead giggled, and spat a stream of water into Courtney's face. Sputtering and furious, the brunette continued rowing for her terrified teammate, calling out to him.

As Izzy pulled herself back into her canoe, she giggled to Gwen. "Was that awesome or what? And he didn't hear me humming the _Jaws_ theme either!"

The goth girl had been watching with a shocked expression, then she felt herself smirking. "Izzy, you're crazy and unpredictable and at times, utterly insane, but you're alright."

"Why thank you," the redhead said as she began paddling again. "You know, you never answered my question."

"Which one?"

"Has Trent seen your boobies yet?"

Gwen sighed. "Izzy, I'm not really for talking about that, okay?"

"Okay," she chirped, and continued rowing. The goth girl was startled by this, she had thought Izzy would be impossible to dissuade.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Impossible to dissuade too.)**

Izzy - "I don't really need to ask Gwen if Trent's seen her boobs, 'cause I know he has. There was one of her bras in the boys' cabin when I was in there for a short hide-out from the RCMP. I'm sure it was hers, even though I found it near Cody's bed."

* * *

At Boney Island, Harold and Ezekiel were carrying Heather on the stretcher. Taking it easy because of Harold's health issues, the queen bee was not satisfied with the speed.

"Can't you two pick it up?" she grumbled as she filed her nails in the stretcher. "I've seen Chef's food move faster."

Ezekiel grumbled, the urge to drop the stretcher and let Heather hit her head on the sandy beach was growing every second. "Do you ever stop complaining?" he grumbled.

"I only complain when someone is doing something wrong, and you two are the slowest mammals on the planet," Heather replied, then tapped her chin with her nail file. "No, you two look more like reptiles to me."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Venting on Heavy.)**

Ezekiel - "How much more do I have to take of that girl, eh? No wonder Gwen hated this island so much first time, she was stuck with _her_ the whole time! I wanted to take that nail file and shoo've it up her nose!"

* * *

"Tyler, Geoff, let's get going," Gwen shouted as jumped out of the canoe. "There's another team ahead of us!"

"We saw them already," Geoff said, jerking his thumb in the direction that the Round Rectangles had headed off. "Don't worry Gwen, Tyler and I are gonna smoke them!"

The goth girl laid down on the stretcher and the two boys picked her up. They started to run, and Gwen had to grip the sides to stop from being flung out.

"If you two don't be more careful, I'm going to actually need this stretcher!"

"Sorry Gwen, but we don't want to lose," Geoff cried out. "Charge! For Canada!"

"For Canada," Tyler and even Gwen cheered.

Still on the shore were Justin, Cody, Lindsay, and a very very _very_ upset Eva were waiting. When Courtney and DJ approached, they came at such a high speed that the canoe shot up past the beach, and then crashed and splintered against the boulders of the mountainside.

"Nice landing," Cody called to them as Courtney came running to them.

"Stop joking and get running," she cried out, looking desperate. She sat down on the stretcher, then Cody and Justin lifted her up and started to run off.

"Where are those slackers?" Eva bellowed after she watched the third team depart from the beach.

"Maybe they got lost, and had to ask for directions," Lindsay suggested as she checked her make-up with a compact. "You know how Nova can be when it comes to physical activity."

Eva was about to smack her when Lindsay offered her the compact. "Want to check your make-up while we wait?"

"I don't... wear... make-up," the fitness buff snarled, hissing air through her teeth.

"Aww, you totally should," Lindsay said. She cupped Eva's face in her hands, then studied it up close. "You could use with a dark-colored lipstick, since your lips are so dark naturally. And I have something can cover up marks like that," she poked Eva's mole, "let me get that now!"

Lindsay began rummaging through her purse, which was full of all kinds of cosmetics. Eva approached from behind, her hands open and trembling for Lindsay's neck.

"We're here," Leshawna called to them, waving as she and Noah rowed in. Eva snapped to attention, while Lindsay waved back.

"Good. Now get the bookworm on the stretcher, we're in last place!" the fitness buff shouted.

Noah got out of the canoe, holding his book. He stopped when he heard Eva's comment, then looked determined. "That means we'll have to lose every bit of weight possible!"

He handed Leshawna his book, the ultimate sign of trust for him. "Take care of this," he shouted as he went to go lie down on the stretcher.

Leshawna nodded, then was surprised as Eva wrenched Lindsay's purse from the blond's hands and gave it to the large sister. The fitness buff then shoved Lindsay onto the stretcher, right on top of Noah, lifted both of them up and over her head before sprinting after her opponents.

"Dang, that girl is like a mom with her kid stuck under her car," Leshawna said with a whistle. "Gets superhuman strength when determined."

She, Izzy, Trent, and DJ exchanged looks as they wondered what next to do. Trent then saw the Boat of Losers, driven by a very angry Chef, heading towards them. The musician waved at their escort. Izzy was hiding behind Leshawna, knowing Chef would still be ticked about the clothesline incident.

* * *

Eva's furious sprinting passed the Asymmetrical Parallels (which made Tyler furious, since he saw Noah and Lindsay lying on the stretcher next to each other), then the Circular Cubes. She was almost heaving from the effort, but her heavy training over the years kept her endurance high.

"No, we cannot lose to her," Courtney wailed, panicking. "Justin, can you do that?"

The male model nodded, then did the same as Eva by putting Cody on the stretcher, holding them over his head, and ran forward. It was obvious that Cody had been slowing them down, because they passed the Circular Cubes.

Gwen cried out in frustration. "We're in last place now! Can't you guys hurry it up any more?"

A quick look at Tyler and Geoff told her the answer was no. Tyler's headband was soaked in sweat, and Geoff's hat was drooping as if to signify his exhaustion.

"Am I that fat?" she asked, trying to keep a sense of humor so she wouldn't be shouting in frustration.

"No, babe," Geoff replied, trying to talk as his tongue was hanging out, panting hard. "Just... not good at... this kind of thing."

"Want... water," Tyler whined.

* * *

At the far end of Boney Island, the Round Rectangles had let Ezekiel run into Boney Island. Harold had asked him if he really wanted to go, but the prairie boy replied, "Anything to get away from Heather, eh," before he dashed in.

Eva made it with Noah and Lindsay a few seconds later, threw the two down with the stretcher, and bolted into the woods. A bear came out of the bushes to chase her, but a solid uppercut left the bear on his back seeing stars. Noah wasn't too worried about her safety after seeing this.

Justin came up about a minute later, placing his teammates on the ground much more gently. Courtney yelled at Cody to get going, and the sly geek went running in, shouting out battle cries that the C.I.T. didn't recognize and only worried her more; especially when Cody ran into a tree before even getting into the forest.

Geoff and Tyler, both beat and gasping for air, showed up a couple minutes. Gwen had to splash water in the jock's face before Tyler finally had the strength to trudge into the forest; he ran into the same tree Cody did.

* * *

Ezekiel was not having fun. Five minutes into the forest, he had to wade through a swamp, was almost bitten by a snake, and a jagged branch tore through his pants and scratched his leg.

Another five minutes in, a herd of carnivorous, prehistoric beavers saw him, and gave him the biggest run for his life. "Chris Maclean, if I live throo' this, I'm gonna kill you," he screamed to the heavens as he fled the horrible beasts.

Eva, who was not used to the wild, was finding that beating it down was best way to make her way through. She had uprooted bushes, climbed over rocks, and knocked down a tree that seemed to be purposefully blocking her way.

As she smashed her way through, something swung nearby her ear. It was Cody, on a vine, swinging from tree to tree with loud, wild yells.

"See you at the finish line, Eva," he called to her as he disappeared from sigh.

Snarling, she grabbed a vine of her own and prepared to swing. She did manage to catch the next one, but her incredible strength pulled the tree down. Pretending that didn't happen, she carried on her normal way.

Ezekiel, who was still being chased by the meat-eating beavers, leapt over the tree in his attempts to escape his predators. Luckily enough, even though they were carnivorous, the beaver monsters still had the insatiable urge to cut down trees, so they stopped their pursuit to chew the fallen tree into sensible sections for their cave.

Tyler, who wasn't anywhere near the others, was having just as bad as time. He had just barely managed to pull himself out of some quicksand, then he was chased by an crow that wanted his headband for his nest.

As the prairie boy stopped to catch his breath, he saw a pack of evil-looking razorbacks staring him down. With a scream, he ran as the vile pigs gave chase.

"This place sucks!!"

* * *

All of the other campers, including Chris and Chef, were standing on the beach of Wawanakwa Island. Several of the campers and the host were looking through binoculars, watching the top of Cranium Mountain.

"Can you see any of them yet?" Lindsay asked Noah, who was one of the binocular owners.

"Lindsay, if I did, I would have said something," he snapped. He had grown tired of her asking after the eighteenth time in the past three minutes.

"Oh. Well, are they there now?"

Noah was starting to shake with indignant frustration. "How do you cope with her?" he asked Leshawna.

"I just accept the fact that she won't ever remember my name correctly," she replied, then smirked. "I would think a boy would not care about her brains when she looks that good."

"A computer game with great graphics will still suck if there are too many bugs in the system."

The campers waited anxiously for a couple more minutes until Beth let out a cry of joy. "I thee thomeone... and it's... it's Cody!"

Most campers were astonished, even his teammates. While the teenagers started to chatter, Beth continued to watch. "Oh, and Eva's coming up behind him."

Cody, far away on top of Cranium Mountain, was positioning himself on the edge of the cliff when he heard Eva coming. The fitness buff was heaving, bloody scratches and beaver gnaw marks on her body. She dashed towards him, hands outstretched.

With a scream higher in pitch than Cody would ever admit, the geek dove off of the cliff, narrowly avoiding Eva's grasp at him. Letting out a relieved sigh, he soared over the ocean. The thermals kept him up in the air, and he was enjoying himself now.

Eva, furious that the scrawny geek had escaped him, grabbed the second hang glider and took off. She had never hang glided before, so she could only hope that she could somehow make it go faster than Cody.

Cody's thin frame was easier on the hang glider than Eva's muscular body, and the nerd was able to pilot his right to the beach. Tilting it up, he landed right before the finish line with a gentle plop. Letting go, he stepped over the line with a wide grin.

"The Asymmetrical Parallels win first place," Chris shouted, pumping his fists into the air.

Justin, DJ, Courtney and Beth let out wild screams of delight. The two girls hugged Cody, while the guys slapped him on the back and congratulated him.

"I gotta admit," Courtney said to the smiling geek, "I was worried that you wouldn't be able to do it, but you proved me wrong! You're amazing!" She gave him a _big_ hug, much to Duncan's annoyance.

Someone cleared their throat nearby. That someone was Eva, who was looking directly at Cody, her left eyebrow jutting sharply.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Sick of these comments yet?)**

Eva - "Okay, I admit that I wanted to paste him into red pulp, but my mother once told me something. She said that competition is not worth the time without worthy competitors. So I decided to be nice. Also, he didn't cheat, he played fair. So I respect him."

* * *

Eva extended her hand. "Good job, Cody."

Cody stared at it, worried she was planning something rather painful. Bravely, he extended his hand and shook hers. It was a firm and painless handshake.

"You did good too, Eva," he said, smiling politely though his heart was racing.

"Second place isn't so bad," she agreed. "We still get the pillows."

"That's the spirit, tough girl," Leshawna said, patting Eva's rock-solid shoulder. Lindsay and Noah nodded, while Duncan shrugged a 'whatever' shrug.

Five minutes passed. No sign of Ezekiel or Tyler had made their teammates worry. Bridgette and Geoff were looking especially nervous, Harold was pacing back and forth, and Izzy was bouncing around on the beach, volunteering for the 'suicide mission of bringing our boys back home.'

"Chris, what if they've been hurt?" Gwen asked, looking out at the island.

"We'd know about it," Chris said, holding up a walkie-talkie. "The camera crew I hired to film the four campers going through Boney Island are watching them, and would contact me if they needed medical help. Here, I'll contact them now."

He pressed the button on the walkie talkie and said, "Come in, BIFT. BIFT, how are the two remaining campers doing?" The reply was this:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-" Crunch! Crunch munch munch slurp snarf... "Burp!"

Chris was silent as the campers looked at the walkie-talkie, absolutely horrified. The host grinned nervously and said, "They're on lunch break." "They _were_ the lunch break," Duncan snapped.

Beth, shaking, looked back at the top of Cranium Mountain through her binoculars. "Oh," she cried out. "I thee someone! It's... I think it's... Ethekiel! It's Ethekiel! And Tyler's right behind him!"

The campers cheered, glad the two had survived.

Over on Boney Island, the two boys stared over the water to see Wawanakwa far off in the distance. "Well, Tyler," Ezekiel said as he turned to his friend, "looks like it's you agee'nst me, eh?"

"Yep," Tyler replied, nodding his head.

Both of them, dirty and sore and scratched up, grabbed the last of the two hang gliders. "See you on the island, bud'day!"

"You too, dude! Wooohooo!"

The two ran and jumped off the cliff. Ezekiel shot off like a bullet towards the island.

"How are they doing?" Gwen asked Geoff, who was holding the binoculars.

"Ezekiel's doing good. And Tyler is...," Geoff stopped. He raised his head, then dropped it quickly.

"Um, what's that mean?" the goth girl mimed Geoff's head motions.

"Tyler just swooped straight up," the party animal looked crestfallen, "then he fell right in the water." The Circular Cubes gasped in horror, while the Round Rectangles cheered.

"We're gonna win," Bridgette shouted in joy, high-fiving Trent and Harold. "Trent, how is Zeke looking now?"

"Looking good, very good," the musician said as he watched through the binoculars. "Oh, heh heh. There's a seagull bothering him. Little rat with wings. Wait..."

" 'Wait'?" Harold wheezed. "No, no no no! No 'wait'! What's 'wait' mean, dude?"

"There are more seagulls... they're all pecking at him and the hang glider! It's a whole flock attacking him!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Never had a seagull in here.)**

Chris Maclean - "I had Chef smear one of the hang gliders with seagull bait, which is a strange paste that smells like bugs, fish, and dumpsters. Works like a charm when out at sea. Guess Zeke didn't notice it since he was trudging through Boney Island!" \He laughs a whole lot.\

* * *

Ezekiel, far off in the distance, let go of the hang glider. Although far away, the campers saw him plummet into the ocean. Heather cried out in frustration.

"Why did he let go, it's just a few birds," she screamed, gripping her head.

"Will you calm down?" Bridgette snapped at her. "He can swim the rest of the way. Tyler's way behind him."

"Actually," Geoff, who had wandered over next to Bridgette, said as he continued to watch through his binoculars, "Tyler swam back to Boney Island, and now he's rowing over here!"

The Circular Cubes cheered while the Round Rectangles looked worried. Ezekiel, gasping and struggling, swam as fast as he could towards Wawanakwa. Tyler was rowing as fast as he could, heaving from the effort.

Trent, still watching through the binoculars, let out a terrified gasp. "Shark! There's a shark closing in on Ezekiel!"

His friends and teammates gasped. Bridgette then let out a relieved sigh, much to their surprise. "It's just Izzy," she said. "She's trying to scare him so her team wins."

"But I'm right here," Izzy said, who was standing behind Bridgette.

The surfer chick lost all color in her face. She started screaming, "ZEKE! SHARK! SWIM FASTER," as did her teammates.

"It must be the husband of that shark I killed," Izzy screamed. "He won't stop until he gets revenge! This ain't good!"

Tyler noticed the shark before Ezekiel did. His friend's life more important than the contest, he started smacking at the shark with his paddle, and the splashes alerted Ezekiel. The prairie boy looked back to see a pointed, gray face with enormous, sharp teeth coming at him.

Even though he was a good distance from Wawanakwa, everyone heard his bloodcurdling scream as the shark lunged forward.

Tyler, bellowing too, smacked the shark on the nose. Thrashing angrily, the shark snapped at the jock, and Tyler jammed the paddle vertically into the shark's open mouth. With his mouth wide open, the shark thrashed again, then went back to Ezekiel. The prairie boy screamed as he grabbed the paddle and went under.

The jock screamed out his friend's name, looking down into the water. The shark surfaced mouth-first, Ezekiel standing on the paddle as it was bending in the middle. With a rubbery snap, the paddle sling-shotted the prairie boy into the air, screaming and flailing. He plummeted towards the beach, bouncing once on the wet sand, then landing on the drier part of the beach. Not daring to move but heaving in terror, the prairie boy lay there.

Letting out a relieved sigh, Tyler took his other paddle and started to row towards the beach. The shark decided that these humans were too much trouble, and swam off.

The campers stared at the terrified Ezekiel. "So, um, does he win?" Lindsay asked.

"No, he has to cross the finish line," Chris said, pointing at the line.

Ezekiel, hearing this, started to get up. He went stiff, cringed, then screamed and fell down. A crab had pinched him right on the tendon. Wailing, he tried to pry the angry crab off of the back of his foot.

Tyler, realizing the challenge wasn't over, paddled faster. He jumped out of the boat when he thought it was shallow enough, but ended up plunging underwater.

The prairie boy, with tears of pain in his eyes, finally managed to pry the crab's claw open. He threw the crustacean away, shouting, "I... hate... the outdoors, eh!"

The brunette jock, surfacing and gasping for air. Swimming as fast as he could, he managed to step onto the beach as his opponent limped towards the finish line.

With the last of his strength, Ezekiel thrust himself forward, stumbling, and fell over the finish line seconds before Tyler could get to it.

"And the Round Rectangles win," Chris shouted, clapping.

Bridgette, Trent, Heather, and Harold all let out wild cheers, while the Circular Cubes hung their heads in disappointment. Bridgette and Harold went to their friend's side, asking if he was okay.

"Sharks... beavers... snakes... seagulls... crabs...," he was whimpering. "I never wanna go out a'geen, eh!"

"That means the losers are the Circular Cubes," Chris shouted, gesturing towards the five teammates. Tyler had fallen to his hands and knees, looking terribly ashamed.

"You did your best, dude," Geoff said, kneeling down and patting Tyler's shoulder. "Don't feel too bad. You did save Zeke's life." He waved his hand towards Ezekiel, who right now looked like he wished he had died.

"Now the immunity challenge begins in one hour," he said. "Those injured, dirty, and/or seeing their life flash before their eyes, you might want clean yourselves up. Because in this follow-up challenge, looks are quite important!"

--

**Continued in Part 3, the Immunity Challenge and the dramatic, shocking, marshmallow ceremony!**

* * *

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Stay tuned, for this story is going to be getting much more gripping!

Who is going to be voted off: **Katie**, **Izzy**, **Gwen**, **Geoff**, or **Tyler**?


	11. Day 3, Part 3: Total Drama Cosplay

Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you are injured or suffer a major pancreas failure during the reading of this story, I cannot cover your health insurance.

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* * *

**Chapter 11 (Day 03, Part 3)** - The Doppleganger Contest

--

"Alright, is everyone here?" Chris said as he stood on the performance stage. The campers were seated with their former teammates, Killer Bass on the right, Screaming Gophers on the left.

A very interesting point about Chris right now was that he was dressed exactly like Chef. He had on a yellow shirt, a white apron, even the little cooking hat.

"Everyone recovered from the injuries you took during this challenge?"

"I think Ezekiel is still in shock," Katie called out, pointing at the prairie boy.

The toque-wearing boy was shaking, hugging himself, and whimpering, "Teeth... so many... teeth...!" Geoff and Bridgette were sitting next to him, trying to console him.

"Well, someone can tell him what the challenge is when he recovers. You see, your next challenge is called... The Clone!

"You will be given the name of one of your fellow campers, of the same gender, of course. Next you'll be given clothing that looks exactly like that person. Then, you come up on this stage, and do your best impression of that camper!"

The campers exchanged glances with those of the same gender that were near them. This could go either way, as far as they were concerned.

"How do we win this little game?" Heather asked.

"Chef and I are judges for your performance. We are both giving you a score between one and ten; lowest score is two, highest score is twenty. You are aiming to win the best score out of the team that you just completed the All-Star Athlete Alliteration!

"The winners of the four teams will be getting a very fine foot massager! Perfect for the poor souls with those aching soles!"

Heather grinned wickedly. "That sounds delicious. So, if I get, say, Beth, I stand up on stage, lisp and smile, then get off?"

"It may be a bit more complicated than that," Chris said as Beth glared at Heather. "You see, Chef and I do have different tastes when it comes to you teenagers. While one of us might find it hilarious if you portray a camper in a tasteless, mean-spirited, and demeaning way, the other one of us might find it completely tacky."

"So does that mean the trick is to be honest but at the same time not directly insulting to the person?" Bridgette asked.

"That might be the best way to go," Chris said, nodding. "If you want certain lighting, ask the stage crew member back there to do what you want, whether it be colored light, a spotlight, or a strobe light. Just let them know when you want it done, give them a cue or something."

"Oh, Chrith?" Beth asked, waving his hand. "Are you aiming for what the camperth are like now, or what we were like when we were on Total Drama Island?"

"You know, that was actually something I was thinking of, Beth! Here's a cookie," he threw her another cookie. Beth gave part of this one to Lindsay, who resisted at first but smelt the chocolate and caved it.

"For laughs, I want you all to portray what you guys and girls were like during our first season, in Total Drama Island! Be brutal, be funny, but most all, don't be yourself!

"Now, let's see who you all are going to be!"

The host clapped his hands, and Chef walked in front of the stage. The big man was dressed exactly like Chris, which was much easier on the eyes than him in a dress. "Guys," Chris shouted, "you are going to be drawing from the bowl in Chef's left hand. Girls, you'll draw from the one in his right. Let's see who you'll be miming, so read them out loud!"

* * *

" 'Beth'," said Gwen.

" 'Lindsay'," said Leshawna

" 'Heather'?!" exclaimed Katie.

" 'Courtney'? Oy," groaned Eva.

" 'Katie'," said Bridgette.

" 'Gwen'! Hmmmm...," pondered Izzy.

" 'Leshawna'," said Courtney.

" 'Bridgette'," said Heather.

" 'Iththy'... no I mean... Ithzthee...," Beth strained, sighing.

" 'Eva'?" asked Lindsay. "Who's Eva?"

* * *

" 'Cody'," said Noah.

When Justin didn't say anything, Noah read over his shoulder and said, "He has Harold."

" 'Ezekiel'," DJ read.

" 'Trent'?" asked Duncan.

" 'Geoff'," said Tyler, then he chuckled. "Oh, you spell with a 'ge'? I didn't know that."

" 'Noah'?" Geoff said, a little distracted by Tyler.

" 'Duncan'?!" Harold shouted. "Bogus."

" 'DJ'," said Trent.

" 'Tyler'," said Cody.

* * *

Ezekiel had finally recovered from his shock, and scooped the last paper out. " 'Justin'?" he read it out loud. "What about Justin?"

Bridgette explained the challenge to him. The prairie boy's eyes went wide, then he looked down his shirt. "Oh dear," he sighed, "I have already lost." "Now, first place winners, place report to the dressing rooms, which would be the communal washrooms," Chris shouted. "That would mean Justin, Beth, Cody, Courtney, and DJ, you're up!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Does a fine impression of a shack.)**

Courtney - "Okay, as positive as I am about challenges, I don't think I can pull this one off. Sure I can act in charge like Leshawna, but me using slang? Might as well tell me to speak a different language." \She sighs, then shrugs.\

* * *

Courtney came on the stage first. The C.I.T. was dressed in the same orange-icon shirt and jeans, and she also had her hair in a ponytail. She mimed the strutting that Leshawna was known for quite well, but when she opened her mouth, the audience cringed.

"Yo dogs, what up in da hoodsness? You are fo'... rizzle... rizzle, is it? That's... uhm, crunk, yah! Word in, yo'ness."

Duncan fell out of his seat laughing. Leshawna raised an eyebrow. Chris and Chef slapped their foreheads.

* * *

Beth, dressed in Izzy's small tank top and green skirt, tiptoed on the stage. Her hair was let down and draped on her shoulders.

"The RCMP are still on my tail," she whispered into her hand. "I managed to avoid capture by staying in the nice bear's cave. Also hid in the boy's cabin for a while, took a pair of Cody's underwear.

"... I'm still not thure why I did, just seemed like a good idea at the time. Also, remember to buy an audio recorder, becauth I am running out of room on my hands to write these notes."

One of the spotlights from above shone on her. Beth froze, raised her fists in the air and shouted, "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE," then ran off the stage laughing hysterically.

As the audience laughed and applauded, Izzy looked rather impressed and startled. "How did she know I was with the nice bear?" she asked the others.

* * *

DJ walked on the stage, wearing an olive green jacket and a blue toque. He stopped in the middle, looking down at the ground, then spoke with the thickest Canadian accent he could.

"Well, guys are a lot better and stronger at sports than girls are, eh," he said, then picked his nose.

Ezekiel covered his face in embarrassment as the crowd laughed. When he peeked up, he saw DJ smiling apologetically, and the prairie boy sent an 'it's okay' wave back to him.

* * *

Cody came running on the stage, holding a football and dressed in the red sports attire and headband that Tyler had worn during the first season. He was going to stop and pose, but the geek accidentally tripped on a loose board. Rolling across the rest of the stage, he fell off and crashed.

The crowd burst out laughing, and even Tyler was chuckling as he rubbed the back of his head. Cody, wobbling and trying to keep up the performance, spiked the football. It bounced back right at him, hitting him in the stomach. He doubled-over and collapsed, moaning how this was not how it was supposed to go.

* * *

Justin came out dressed like Harold, wearing even the green-tinted glassed. However, the male model couldn't bring himself to say anything, so he just picked his nose. That was good enough for some in the audience to applaud, while the real Harold shrugged.

"Dude," Chris said to Chef, "I would have been happy with just an 'idiot!' or a 'gosh'."

* * *

"Okay, we've added up the scores for the Asymmetrical Parallels," Chris said as he took center stage, still dressed like Chef. "First off, Justin. Sorry dude, but you really needed to say something to get a decent score. You get eight out of twenty.

"Courtney, you're the opposite. It would have been better if you didn't speak; you get nine out of twenty. DJ, we thought you did a great job, but your accent was a bit much; you get twelve out of twenty. Cody, that was hee-larious, dude; you received eighteen out of twenty!"

Cody let out a loud cheer, then froze. "Wait, what about Beth?"

"Beth," Chris said, clicking his tongue, "your performance was spot on, right in the spotlight, and we hope the other campers learn from you. By coincidence, Chef and I gave you the same score: ten. That means... Beth wins with a perfect score of twenty!"

Beth, still dressed as Izzy, let out a wild scream and jumped up and down in joy. "Thank you," she screamed, then hugged the inspiration for her role, Izzy.

"You deserve it, me," Izzy said with a giggle.

After the applause died down and Beth was holding a foot massager, Chris said, "Next are the Oval Octagons! Noah, Lindsay, Leshawna, Eva, and Duncan!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Does a fine impression of a changing station too.)**

Duncan - \rolling his eyes\ "Oh, _this'll_ be fun. Chris is going to regret this as much as I am, because... I cannot sing."

* * *

Duncan was still wearing his piercings when he came out dressed in Trent's signature green shirt with the camo sleeves. The punk was also wearing a wig to cover his green mohawk, and carrying a guitar. He tried to ignore Courtney's almost hysterical laughing.

"_Well I love my woman Gwen, she scores a ten outta ten_," Duncan sang aloud, pretending to strum the guitar.

The audience screamed and groaned and gagged, Chris clapping his hands over his ears. "Okay, Duncan! That's enough! Thank you!"

"Cool, man," said Duncan, flipping his hair dramatically like he imagined Trent would, then walked off the stage. Courtney had, like Duncan before her, fallen off her seat laughing.

* * *

Noah was wearing the faint yellow shirt and jeans that Cody was still wearing. He came out doing the strut that Cody had made his entrance on the show with.

"He-_lo_, ladies," he said with a click of his tongue, pointing at Gwen and Leshawna. "Check me out, I'm the Codester. You dream about Mr. Right, and I am the spitting image of him. Who's for a soak in the hot tub, hmmm?"

The audience, especially the girls, were laughing hard. Cody sat there with his mouth agape. "Do I really look like that when I walk?" he asked, horrified.

* * *

Leshawna looked quite ridiculous wearing Lindsay's brown and red top, her orange skirt, the boots, and the blue hair cover with her black hair down. The large sister, though, somehow managed to pull off Lindsay's vapid stare, her girlie body motions, and her sugary voice.

"Hi-iiiii," Leshawna purred, deep down knowing she would never, ever live this down. "I am like, sooooo stoked to be up here. I'd like to thank my friends Bertha, Lesheena, Gweneth, and most of all, our host Crisp! Thank yew!"

If she could blush, Leshawna would have been as red as an apple as she walked off the stage. The audience, including Lindsay, was laughing and applauding. The only one not clapping was Harold, who had swooned and was now drooling at the sight of his girlfriend dressed like that.

* * *

The real Lindsay came out wearing blue workout clothes like Eva, as well as sneakers and her blond hair in a ponytail. She stared around for a while, not sure what to do.

When she saw the real Eva, an idea came to in her tiny mind. She bared her teeth and growled. "Grrr, I'm Eva. I'll... tear you apart if you cross me. Grrrr!"

The audience laughed and clapped, then immediately went silent when they realized who it was they were laughing about. They all nervously looked at Eva, who was frowning with her arms crossed. The fitness buff, to everyone's great surprise, let a slight smile form and clapped for Lindsay. Everyone else clapped again, relieved.

* * *

The real Eva came on the stage wearing the proper clothes Courtney wore, her hair down on her shoulders, walking as if every step was planned.

"Hello, my name is Courtney," she said with a practiced smile. "Be sure to help me win Total Drama Island, because I am a consoler in training. Did I mention I was a C.I.T., so you have to do as I say? And Duncan, quit being such an ogre!"

With a polite bow, Eva strutted off the stage. She smiled when she heard applause, and smiled more when she saw Courtney's frowning face.

* * *

"Not bad, people," Chris said as he was on the stage again. "Well, Noah, you did very well as Cody; you scored sixteen out of twenty. Leshawna, I actually thought Lindsay had a black twin sister there; you win seventeen points out of twenty. Eva, your impression of Courtney was great, although I'm sure she disagrees; you win thirteen points out of twenty.

"Lindsay, that was a fairly good impression of Eva; you win fifteen points. And Duncan... dude, you would have done much better if you hadn't sang! You get six points.

"That leaves Leshawna the winner!"

"Yes," Leshawna cried out, pumping her fists in the air. "Yes, baby, I won! Woohoo!"

She grabbed Lindsay and hugged her tight. "I have you to thank for, girlfriend!"

"Oh! You mean you were imitating me?" Lindsay asked with a blank smile.

After Leshawna received her prize, Chris clapped for the audience's attention. "Next are the Round Rectangles! Bridgette, Harold, Trent, Heather, and Ezekiel, you go!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Does a good impression of a wooden monument too.)**

Ezekiel - "I doo'nt think I'm gonna win this, eh. I mean, the moment I tear off my shirt, everyone's gonna fall over laughing. I don't even have a tan, let alone that gorgeous chest..." \He starts to daydream, then slaps himself.\

* * *

Bridgette came running on the stage, dressed in the small tank top and shorts that Katie wore. She bounced up and down, her blond pigtails flopping. "Oh my _gosh_, Sadie, look," she squealed, "we're on TV, on stage! It's so, like, exciting!

She let out a high-pitched 'eeeeeee' and then ran off, still looking hyper and excited. The audience applauded, though Geoff and Ezekiel were still dazed at seeing Bridgette in that little of clothing.

* * *

Harold came on stage wearing fake piercings and a fake green mohawk, though he still wore his glasses (he had insisted, since he couldn't see at all without them). His black shirt with the skull hung down past his waist, while his baggy pants looked in danger of falling off.

The geek-dressed-punk walked on center stage, scowling. He sniffed and rubbed his nose, scowling in the way Duncan scowled at him.

He turned to the audience and glared at them. "What are you staring at?" he asked, sounding gruff but still having the slight wheeze in his voice that he couldn't hide. "You think it's funny, staring at me like that? I'll come over and rearrange your face if you keep staring, _got it_?"

The audience was quiet, then Harold smirked. "That's better," he said before walking off the stage, waving to them. The audience broke into applause. Duncan was clapping, but stopped when Courtney glared at him.

"Well, it was more flattering than I thought it would be," the punk tried to justify himself to his miffed girlfriend.

* * *

Ezekiel came on stage wearing jeans and a tight green shirt. His hair had been gelled in the way Justin's gorgeous hair was styled. The prairie boy stood center stage and grinned at the audience, to which he received laughter, some stifled and some not.

Rolling his eyes and trying not to let it get to him, he pulled at his shirt. It was stronger than he thought it would be, and it only came off after the fourth pull. After he succeeded in ripping it off, he pulled out a water bottle and took a long drink from it, then grinned at the audience again.

Chris and Chef fell out of their seats laughing, as Ezekiel walked off the stage, mortified.

* * *

Trent looked okay wearing the large green shirt with the 'D' icon, as well as jean shorts and DJ's white skull cap. The musician waved while he held one hand behind his back, then revealed what he had behind him: Bunny.

The audience was either laughing (the guys) or cooing (the girls) as Trent nuzzled Bunny against his cheek and the little rabbit nuzzled back. DJ was clapping hardest when Trent walked off-stage calling out, "Thanks everyone, it's been fun!"

* * *

Heather's performance was over quickly. She managed to pull off looking like Bridgette, wearing the blue jacket and putting her hair up in a ponytail; however, Heather barely said anything besides, " 'Sup guys," and "Buh-bye."

"Um... nice one, Heather," Chris said as he walked back on stage. "Well, Heather, Chef and I decided on giving you eight out of twenty, mostly because of the look."

"It's not _my_ fault that Bridgette doesn't have a predictable speaking process," Heather shouted, throwing her hands up in indignation, "and I can't stand on my hands."

"Too bad," Chris said, shrugging. "Now, for Trent, that was really good, though I would have given you a couple more points if you had done some screaming and running; you get seventeen points out of twenty. Bridgette, nice work on Katie impression there; you get twelve out of twenty.

"Ezekiel...," Chris stopped because he couldn't help but laugh. The prairie guy sighed and looked down at his feet. "Zeke, nice try, dude; you get ten out of twenty. And Harold, I really liked how you didn't take a cheap shot at Duncan; you earned eighteen points out of twenty. That makes you, dude, the winner!"

"Yes," Harold shouted as he jumped up, losing his Duncan-pants in the process. He quickly pulled them back up and sat back down, red-faced and grinning. "Awesome."

"Not bad, dude," Duncan said, clapping along with the others. "Enjoy that foot massager."

"Thanks, Duncan... and you know, you guys can use it too," Harold said.

The guys thanked Harold and slapped him on the back, not noticing that Courtney was shaking in barely contained fury. She looked away from Harold before she did something she'd regret.

"And now, the _most_ important performances of the night," Chris shouted. "The Circular Cubes will have to compete for who wins immunity! Katie, Gwen, Izzy, Tyler, and Geoff, pull out your acting faces, and do you best to impress!"

* * *

Geoff was wearing the classy sweater vest and formal pants that Noah was also wearing. The party animal, sans his hat and holding a book, walked to center stage with an unimpressed stare. He opened the book and started reading it, then looked at the audience.

"What-_ever_," he scoffed. "Acting isn't my thing," then he walked off, rolling his eyes.

The audience applauded and laughed, even Noah. "Not bad," he said as he clapped. "Though him without his hat looked pretty funny."

* * *

Tyler came onto the stage with a flip. He was wearing Geoff's cowboy instead of his headband, as well as the unbuttoned, pink vest and jeans. "Wooooohooooo," Tyler shouted, pumping his fists in the air, "this is one incredible party, dudes! Woo!"

He then did a couple of the dance moves that Geoff had done at the after-party of the last challenge, then ran off shouting, "Later, du-uuuuuudes!"

Geoff was shouting, "Wooohooo! Excellent impression of me, dude," over the audience's applause.

* * *

Katie walked on stage with such a condescending strut, some of campers thought it really was Heather. She was wearing the thin, red top and green shorts with no problem on pulling off making them look good, for they were close to what she normally wore. Her hair was down and as long as it could go.

"You might as well give me the check, because everyone else here is such an _dweeb_," Katie said, matching Heather's haughty tone. "If you'll excuse me, I don't want to catch any nerd germs."

She strutted off the stage, waving her hand dismissively. Heather's scowl darkened when the audience cheered and clapped.

* * *

Gwen looked very out of character dressed as Beth. Her black-and-green hair was up in a ponytail (a very short one), and the farm girl's green and pink clothing did not suit the goth girl at all. The glasses looked very ridiculous on her. The goth girl gave everyone a full view of her fake braces as she gave them a toothy grin.

"Hi, everybody," she called out, trying to mime Beth's lisp. "I theriously hope we all get along and enjoy our time here!"

Gwen did a little clapping before running off, grinning and waving at the audience. She caught Heather smirking at her, but tried to ignore that as the audience laughed and applauded her performance; even Beth looked pleased, and Gwen was sure she was going to offend the farm girl.

* * *

Izzy had put on a wig to look like Gwen, having black-and-green hair. She had gone a little overboard, and had applied white face paint to her entire face. She was wearing the black and green clothing with an interesting fit, from the green shoulders past the black stockings down to Gwen's black boots.

"Umm... okay," Izzy said, sounding disgruntled and frustrated. "This place sucks. The people here are weird beyond belief, the food is nasty, and everything is just so bad and awful, it makes me want to throw up."

She pretended to gag herself, then rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I swear, they're all nuts. Well... maybe not _one_... but whatever."

Izzy walked off the stage in a bitter sulk. The audience was cheering loudly for her, while Gwen couldn't help but smirk.

"Am I really seen as that negative?" she asked Trent.

"It was Izzy. She overexaggerates, you know that."

"Really? I thought she was spot on about how I felt during that first crappy season."

* * *

"Okay, it's now time for judgment," Chris shouted. The air was now thick with tension, as the five campers cringed over who'd be picked.

"First off, Tyler. Spot on performance of Geoff; you get sixteen points out of twenty!"

The jock cheered and high-fived Ezekiel. He bit his lip, hoping no one could beat that.

"Geoff, loved your impression of Noah; you scored fifteen points. Katie, as good as you were doing Heather, you scored the same."

Katie sighed while Geoff shrugged his shoulders with a good-natured grin. Tyler gripped the sleeves of his shirt as he started to sweat.

"Gwen... you could have done a bit more; you scored eleven out of twenty. And Izzy, not bad with Gwen, you really hit her attitude on the nail; you scored fourteen out of twenty.

"And that leaves Tyler the winner!"

The jock let out a wild shout of joy, pumping his fists in the air. He exchanged more high-fives with his friends, even Geoff (who kept congratulating him on doing such a good impression of him).

"I'll be seeing you five at the bonfire ceremony," Chris shouted, clapping his hands and grinning wickedly.

* * *

Cody was relaxing under a tree, thinking about who he should off. He had to pick between Katie, Izzy, and Geoff, since there was no way he'd be voting for Gwen.

Someone approached him, and he grinned as he saw who it was. "How's it going?" he asked. "Thought of who you're going to vote for."

"Yes. I actually came to talk to you about that."

"Really? It's not Gwen, is it?"

"No, it's...," the person told Cody whom it was, "and I'd really appreciate it if you could vote for that person too."

"I dunno...," Cody said, scratching the back of his neck. "It doesn't seem very nice..."

"I can assure you, as someone who used to be a teammate to that bizzaro, that you don't want to be teamed up unless you want to lose."

Cody scratched the back of his neck. He had given that person some thought, but he hadn't been sure. "You sure this is okay?"

"Of course it is. Someone has to go, and I know you don't want it to be Gwen. If we don't plan to make sure a specific person gets voted off, she might."

The geek nodded. "Okay, sure thing. I'll vote for who you want this time around."

"That's all I ask of you. Thank you."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We're not telling you who it is, nyah nyah nyah.)**

?? - "I managed to convince enough people to vote for whom I want off, with no chance of a tie. There is no way that... that... _mental freak_ is going to find a way out of this! This will make things much easier for me."

* * *

Chris stood at the oil drum, the large bonfire roaring. "I've got five campers sitting in front of me," he said aloud, drumming his fingers on the plate with four marshmallows.

"Five campers... fifteen spectators." He jerked a thumb to the right, where all the other campers were standing, watching anxiously.

"Four of you are getting marshmallows, four of you will be joining your friends over there. But one of you isn't going to get one. One of you is going to have to say good-bye to all those winners over there, and that one person is going to be walking the Dock of Shame.

"And once you walk that dock, once you board that Boat of Losers, you aren't seeing these friendly faces anymore. Because you aren't coming back!

"EVER!!"

Most of the campers flinched at this final word, even Tyler. The host's evil grin vanished as he looked at the jock. "Tyler dude, you saved your neck. Here's your marshmallow," he said as he tossed the white treat to the brunette athlete.

After snatching it in midair, Tyler smiled at the others and said, "Good luck," before heading over to the other campers. Lindsay clung to his arm and nuzzled him with her cheek.

"Now it's time to see who of the real losers has lost their final contest," Chris said, his evil grin back.

Katie was shivering hard, her left hand's knuckles in her mouth. Izzy's wild grin was slowly growing as the tension built. Gwen tried to look tough, but her side glances to Trent gave away her doubts. Geoff was running a finger along the brim of his hat, biting his lower lip nervously.

"First to be safe is... Gwen." The goth girl smiled as she caught her marshmallow, then went over to hug Trent.

"Three campers left, two marshmallows remaining. The next one goes to... Katie!" Katie caught her marshmallow with a happy squeal, then ran over to the campers. She hugged DJ, who returned the hug.

"Geoff, Izzy," Chris barked. He pointed to the last treat. "This... is the final marshmallow tonight. One of you has lost Total Drama Comeback. The only question is... which one of you lost?"

Bridgette's knuckles were turning white, and she started to shake. Gwen gripped her shoulder, but also couldn't hide her worry. Katie whimpered as she stared at her new redheaded friend. Tyler and Beth both watched with unblinking eyes, Tyler at Geoff and Beth at Izzy.

Geoff crossed his arms and stared at the marshmallow, a good-natured but worried smile on his face. Izzy was grinning insatiably, starting to shake, and crouching up in her seat. Chris looked at the two lone campers, to the anxious crowd, then back to Izzy and Geoff.

"The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"IZZY CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE," Izzy screamed as she bolted up on her feet, badly startling everyone. "WHO WON?!"

Chris, who had flinched just as bad as everyone, frowned at her. "You did," he said, chucking the marshmallow at Izzy.

"Huh?" Izzy honked as she caught the marshmallow.

"What?! No!" Bridgette cried, her voice ragged from anticipation.

"Geoff buddy," Chris said, looking dire, "I'm sorry to say this, but you're out. This game just got a little less fun."

"No no no," Bridgette was whimpering. "No! Why Geoff? This isn't fair!"

Tears formed in her eyes as she ran over to Geoff. The party animal, who had kept a smile until now, looked devastated by his girlfriend's tears.

"Bridgette," he said, petting her hair, "I've never seen you cry before. You don't have to worry about me, babe. You know I'll be safe and watching you."

"But...," she stammered, looking up at him with wet, green eyes, "I wanted to be with you while we were on this island. It was the best way for us to finally be together again. I barely saw you during those six months after TDI!"

She looked ready to cry uncontrollably when Geoff tilted her chin up. "I promise we'll see each other soon, and more often. But I want you to do your best on this island. I know you can do it, 'cause you're the most incredible girl... no, the most incredible woman I've ever met in my life.

"You have a lot of great friends here, like Gwen, DJ, Harold, Courtney, Ezekiel, and most of the others. Just be strong, like I know you can."

Bridgette nodded, then wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him as passionately as she could.

* * *

"Bye, Geoff," the campers called out to him as they waved good-bye. The party animal waved back, blowing a kiss to Bridgette, then let out a final cheer.

"Later, dudes! Good-bye, Bridgette," he called out, tears in his eyes now. Bridgette, still with tears in her eyes, caught the kiss and held it to her heart.

"You make the Playa des Losers a rocking party house for all those that are voted off, Geoff," Ezekiel called to him.

"I'm sorry it was you instead of me," Izzy shouted. Then she remembered her most important mission. "Oh, wait! Geoff! I have this bet with Owen!" She had to raise her voice as loud as possible for Geoff was almost out of hearing range.

"Have you seen Bridgette's boobs yet?!"

Everyone stared at her, a mixture of disgust and astonishment. Geoff looked weirded out by this. " 'Cooties'?" he repeated what he thought she said. "Bridgette doesn't have cooties, Izzy! Take care of her!"

"She doesn't have...," Izzy repeated what she thought he said, looking weirded out too. "Well, he said for me to take care of you, I think I can do that." She bobbed her head around and smiled. "Bridgette is among good friends."

The blond surfer wiped her tears away with her sleeve, then she hugged Gwen. "Thank you, guys. You all being so nice to me lets me know I can carry on."

"We're your friends, Bridgette, and that's what friends are for," the goth girl said, patting her back.

"I just want to know," Ezekiel said as he looked at where the Boat of Losers had disappeared from view, "who voted for Geoff, and why, eh. He was such a nice guy, and everyone got along with him."

"Not to mention it would upset Bridgette," Gwen said in agreement.

"You think it was planned?" the surfer chick asked, horrified. "But who would do something like that?"

* * *

The person behind Geoff being voted off was leaning against a tree, one with few leaves and leaving her able to see the stars. A sigh escaping the lips, a nervous scratch to the arm, they told that all was not right with the person.

"Feeling guilty, huh?"

Another person approached the lone figure against the tree. The first person glared and spat out, "What do you want?"

"I know what you did. I know you're responsible for having Geoff being voted off."

The first person scowled and looked away. "Sure, I voted for him, that doesn't make me directly responsible for him being voted off."

"I know you talked to the others," the second person said, a wicked smile spreading. "I saw you after you talked to Cody, so I followed you to see if you really were smart enough to seal the deal. And sure enough, you were."

The first person tried to ignore these truthful words, but looking away wasn't good enough.

"You went to Justin, Beth, and Katie, telling them all some exaggeration," the second person continued. "I love how you told Katie people would vote her off simply because Sadie wasn't there, that was brilliant. How you told Beth and Cody that Geoff was unreliable was also a devious lie.

"Then making sure there would be at least one vote for two different people, that was the most subtle way to seal to deal. I truly am impressed."

"Are you going to narrate what I did aloud in hopes someone hears you or something?" the first person snapped, looking at the other person in the eye. "What's your point in telling me what I've done?"

"I'm saying this because I love reviewing your work. You and I have a lot in common."

"I'm nothing like you."

"Really? People say I'm cold, cruel, and have no conscience. You had Bridgette's boyfriend voted off, leaving her in tears-"

"Shut up," the first person snapped. "I don't need to take this from you, _Heather_. I don't want to hear it."

"But I think you do want to hear what I want to say to you," Heather said, her slender eyebrow cocking with interest. "I think you should pay close attention to what I have to say to you...

"_Courtney_."

The brunette glared at her. The only sound was the wind howling through the trees as the C.I.T. and the queen bee stared at each other.

* * *

**Katie** - Geoff.

**Izzy** - Gwen.

**Gwen** - Izzy.

**Geoff** - Katie.

**Tyler** - Izzy.

**Beth** - Geoff.

**DJ** - Izzy.

**Courtney** - Geoff.

**Justin** - Geoff.

**Cody** - Geoff.

--

Geoff - 5.

Izzy - 3.

Katie - 1.

Gwen - 1.

* * *

--

--

--

Horrified? Startled? Or was it all too obvious? I hope it wasn't obvious.

Before you jump to any conclusions, I'd like to say that I do not hate Courtney, nor do I hate any of the TDI characters. Not even Heather, I like her as I like a good villain.

Courtney just strikes me as the type of person who can carry a grudge for all eternity; just wait for the next chapter for the answer for her actions. She will not end up badly in this story, just things will get dramatic; she makes things dramatic herself, so it's all good So don't worry, Courtney fans (and I know there a lot of you out there, so I wouldn't dare cross you!).

One thing you should know about me is that I'm not voting off the characters because of how much I like them: I have this planned out. I love Geoff, and it's sad to see him go, but that's the way this story is going to go. Sometimes the life of a party has to leave early, but luckily, there is lots of Geoff in other stories.

Izzy's Victory Theme - Game & Watch Victory Theme, from Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Things are going to be dramatic, but also humorous, adventurous, and Izzy-ous! Thank you all for the reviews! I'm at work at Day 04 (unless of course, you're reading this after I've completed Day 04, then I'm not working on it anymore).


	12. Day 4, Part 1: Cufflink, He Come To Town

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you are allergic to raccoons, I apologize for any rashes you got in the last chapter.

**Author's Semi-Serious Note** - This episode of TDI brings up Leshawna and Harold's interracial relationship (though they are both human, being into fantasy as much as I am makes that word seem silly IRL). Please do not take this story as a serious analysis of a cultural study; this is meant to be humorous, dramatic, and a little weird.

**Author's Not-As-Serious Note** - I have shamelessly plugged myself in this episode. I hope you all forgive me.

And now, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... the twenty campers were forced to take part in a five-part race across both Wawanakwa and Boney Island. In a strange turn of events, Cody managed to win for his team with such skill, even Courtney and Eva were congratulating him!

Ezekiel was attacked by beavers, razorbacks, snakes, seagulls, a shark, and a crab. We luckily got it all on film and are sending it to the nature channel, we're sure they'll love it. I don't think Ezekiel will, but at least he survived with all his limbs.

Tyler, though brave in saving Ezekiel, lost for his team; however, during the follow-up challenge, where the contestants had to dress up like their fellow campers and act like them, Tyler managed to win himself immunity.

The marshmallow ceremony ended on a sad note when Geoff, our favorite party animal, was voted off. There were tears in Bridgette's eyes, and, from what we've seen, some scheming done by Courtney.

Why would Courtney want Geoff voted off? What does Heather want from her since she knows the truth? Will Izzy stop asking the couples if they've reached second base? And most importantly, after all this drama and tension and good old-fashioned teenage angst, how much can they stand being close to each other?

Stay linked to this episode of Total... Drama... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!_)

* * *

**Chapter 12 (Day 03, Part 1)** - A Cufflink to the Past

--

Bridgette waded back onto the beach shore, her surfboard under her right arm. The waves had been incredible today, and she had managed to perform some awesome stunts. Geoff was standing there, clapping, saying things like, "You're, like, the best surfer in the world, Bridgette! Were you born in California or something?"

Except that he wasn't there to say those things. She had to imagine him as she stared at the empty place where he would have been.

"I miss you," she said to Geoff, who wasn't there.

"_Don't act like this_," Bridgette thought, being harsh to herself. "_He isn't dead, he isn't gone forever. You're overreacting by carrying on like this._"

She sighed, feeling cold in her wetsuit. The blond surfer wiped the water and her golden bangs from her eyes, then went to the communal washrooms to change.

* * *

At dinner, she was just as depressed. Normally, she could force herself to eat Chef's horrible food, but ever since Geoff had been voted off two nights ago, she couldn't bring herself to make her taste buds suffer like her heart was.

Her friends were growing concerned of her lack of eating. Izzy and Duncan had been brave enough to steal food from Chris and Chef's private stash for the campers, because Bridgette's inability to gag herself required actual food.

"Still thinking about him?" Gwen asked her as they sat at dinner. The campers were all sitting near whoever they wanted now, so the tables were no longer restricted to Killer Bass and Screaming Gophers.

"Hard to think of anything else," the blond surfer replied. "I suppose I look like a big mope for carrying on like this."

"I don't think so, eh," Ezekiel replied, shaking his finger. "The fact that you miss him only shows how much you care about him. And we all need someone here to endure these life-threatening challenges."

"And because women need a man's hand to hold?" Bridgette asked, smiling for the first time in two days.

The prairie boy flushed and began stammering. "Gah! No no no, that's not what I meant, eh! I mean, we all like to hold hands with someone... err, I mean-"

Bridgette was now laughing, and she slapped her stuttering friend on the back. "Relax, I was giving you a hard time for my own cruel desire. Sorry, but I couldn't resist."

Letting out a relieved sign, Ezekiel chuckled too.

Gwen rubbed her surfer friend's shoulder. "Good to see you smiling again."

Meanwhile, at the other table, two of the campers who had never spoken to each other before were making up for lost time.

"No way," Noah cried out, grinning at DJ, "you have a nature magess, and you actually specialize in healing? All the nature magi I know are obsessed with spell damage."

"I prefer to save lives than take them," the gentle giant replied. "It does make grinding hard, but luckily, my girlfriend plays too."

"What's she play?"

"A cyan succubus jester. She likes using explosives."

"My man DJ, who doesn't? It's why I love using Corpse Eruption with my kobold necromancer."

"He was your third character to eighty, right?"

"Yes, and my main right now," Noah said, his grin becoming wicked. "I love raising the dead to my beck and call, and using making giants and dragons topple before a three-foot pip-squeak."

Courtney couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, I _demand_ you two shut up," she shouted, catching everyone's attention. "You've talked about that stupid game ever since you sat down, and it's less pleasant than the food I'm trying to eat!"

"What was that?!" Chef bellowed from the kitchen, slamming his fist on the counter.

"Errrk. I mean, it's making it hard for me to concentrate on eating," Courtney replied. She shrunk down to avoid Chef's vicious stare.

"What's up with you, Courtney?" DJ asked her. "You've been snappish all day."

"Moreso than usual," Noah muttered under his breath.

"I don't feel that well," Courtney said, glaring at Noah for the remark. "I didn't sleep well last night."

* * *

_(Last Night Flashback)_

_Courtney came in the cabin, yawning and eager to climb into bed. The new sheets and pillow that she had won from the third contest were making sleep quite comfortable._

_Then she saw it. That humanoid bulge under her sheets. She felt her frustration, which was high of late, rise to the boiling point. It must have been Duncan in his underwear again, trying to seduce her in that revolting, over-the-top forward method he thought was charming._

_Grabbing a pillow from another bunk, she started hitting the humanoid lump under her covers. "Get out of here, Duncan! Do you hear me? OUT!"_

_The lump let out a high-pitched shout, then a voice not at all like Duncan's started shouting, "Hey, cut that out! Stop it, I say, or I'll unleash my fury on you!"_

_Izzy popped up from the covers, swatting at Courtney in defense. The brunette stopped her assault, gaping at the grinning redhead. "What... what the... IZZY! What are you doing here?"_

_"I have three questions, and I want straight answers from you, Miss Freckles," Izzy hissed, still grinning as if there was a hidden joke behind this though her tone was serious. "One, did you vote for Geoff in yesterday's ceremony? Two, did you encourage anyone else to vote for Geoff? And three, has Duncan seen your boobs yet?"_

* * *

"Izzy was bothering me with all these weird questions," she muttered as she shoveled more awful food that Chef 'cooked' into her mouth.

"Yeah, me too," Katie, sitting at the same table, replied. "She seems really intent on finding out who voted off Geoff."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "It's none of her business, anyway. Especially when she's sneaking in my room at night."

"Don't worry about crazy girl, Courtney," Heather, sitting next to the CIT, said. She pat the brunette's shoulder and added, "That nutcase likes to come up with a new weird thing to do every day. Be glad this one isn't lethal."

"Unless she decides her interrogations need thumb screws and hot wax," Noah remarked.

"You're one cynical nerd, you know that?" Courtney shot at the egghead, who merely smirked in reply.

"So, do you think we'll be doing a challenge tonight?" Katie cut in, trying to stop a fight.

"Beats me, sugar," Leshawna said as she poked her food with her fork. "I think that Chris is planning for something soon, because he's looking at us with that evil grin more often now."

"Could be he's just planning something, but hasn't mapped it out yet," Harold suggested. "Though I have a feeling I know what it is."

"What's that, honey?" Leshawna said, smiling at her man.

Harold held up a pair of handcuffs.

Some of the campers at his table screamed, the others gasped. "Ewwww," Lindsay squealed, "and there's old carpet on the inside!"

"That's gratitude for ya!"

Chris, standing in front of the tables, crossed his arms in a huff. "I put nice carpet on the insides of the handcuffs, and all I get is complaints? I may just have the cold, barren, steel ones for you all then!"

"That will chafe something awful," Lindsay whined more.

"Handcuffs, Chris? Again?" Heather protested. "You did something like this in the first season!"

"First season I only had six people to do it with. And I don't remember how it ended," he said, rubbing the left side of his head subconsciously.

Leshawna had to hold back a wicked laugh as Harold wrapped his arm around her waist. "Nice shot, by the way," he whispered into her ear, and the large sister accidentally let out a hissing giggle. Courtney had to hold back a gag reflex.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Where angry campers come to.)**

Courtney - "Yee-uck! Watching Harold flirt with Leshawna is more retched than Chef's food! What can she possibly see in him? I know she has better taste than that!"

Harold - "Leshawna is the best person I know. She really stands up for herself, and she keeps others in line, even Chris. I almost swoon whenever I think about the time she brained Chris with that wooden head for the totem pole. Then, if I can hold back my swooning, I have to hold back laughing."

Leshawna - "I never really met a guy like Harold. He seems to adore me, even the faults I know I have. When we spent some time together during the six months between this and first season, he was really getting into the hobbies I have. And I never thought I'd say this, but I am really getting into D&D."

* * *

Chris shook his head, then smiled. "By the way, has anyone found anything interesting in their food?"

The campers immediately stopped eating, in true horror of what that might mean.

"I found a toe nail," Eva grumbled.

"I found part of the packaging wrap in my dinner," Noah said, holding said object up with his spoon.

"I found... I actually don't know what it is," Gwen said, looking at her dinner, "but please, don't tell me, I don't want to know why something purple is in my dinner."

Chris shook his head. "You picky eaters. Anyway, I am asking if you found a tok-"

A pained cry rang out in the cafeteria, as Tyler screamed and spat out what he was eating. He pulled a small, blue, metal token out of his mouth while wincing. There was a very small picture a shattered pair of handcuffs on it.

"What is this?" he whimpered as he stared at it.

"Ah, Tyler, you lucky man, you," Chris shouted, clapping. "Note the picture, it means you not only do not have to compete in today's challenge, but you are also immune for tonight's marshmallow ceremony!

"Which is the Cufflink To The Last challenge! You are all going to be divided into three teams of six, and in pairs of two you will be..."

He snatched the pair of handcuffs from Harold. "Handcuffed! Let's see how well you do when hooked to your teammates!"

The host let this sink in, then he leaned over to Harold and whispered, "By the way, where'd you get this?"

"Owen dropped it while he was having dinner earlier. I was pretty certain it was for the challenge, since I don't think the big guy is training to be a police officer."

"I'll have to talk to him about that," grumbled the host before he smiled again. "So, after everyone is done eating, head out to the middle of the campgrounds so we can divide you up in teams! Tyler, if you want to watch and laugh with me, you're more than welcome to!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Built into the ground, stuck with that fate.)**

Heather - "Handcuffed to one of these freaks, again! I swear, Chris just loves to push our buttons, then laugh. I wonder if he lives off that. Like a vampire that siphons the cruelty out of the air. ... Ewww, did I just come up with a nerd metaphor? I've been around these weirdos too long!"

Tyler - "Not having to do this challenge is great. I really don't like getting that physical any more." \He sighs, then looks at the camera.\ "You're all probably wondering why I'm not the same as when I was on TDI. Well, maybe later on, I'll tell ya. Because it looks like I'll be around for at least one more challenge."

Owen - "I think I lost a pair of those handcuffs Chris gave me. Maybe Duncan pickpocketed me, I know he can do that. Still... I hope he isn't getting any ideas that I'm an undercover cop and here to arrest him."

* * *

"Dude, I seriously wonder what Chris's childhood was like," Duncan said to Courtney, who shrugged.

The host with the questionable childhood was standing in the center of the campgrounds, eyeing the nineteen campers. "Okay then! Now, I remember from Total Drama Island, our queen bee Heather once said that the point of joining the show was not to make friends or have fun, but to win and become celebrities."

Heather nodded, crossing her arms as if to dare someone to disagree with her. Lindsay looked away, the painful memory of that day when she realized that Heather had been using her was not a pleasant one.

"Well, Owen and I have decided to put that theory into place," Chris said, patting the jolly giant's shoulder. "Our big guy here suggested we split the teams into three categories: those who want to win, those who want to have fun, and those who want to test their skills!"

Owen nodded, then let out a cheer. "I'm rooting for the ones who want to have fun! Because that's why I joined, and I had loads of fun!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We have fun too.)**

Leshawna - "Sometimes I wish the world could be a bit more like Owen, but only in the sense that we could see the bright side of everything, not on the smell side."

Gwen - "Owen is like that friendly dog that wants to be your friend no matter how many times you shoo him away. Eventually...," \she smiles and shrugs\ "you come to love the guy."

Owen - "I actually bet Chris twenty-five bucks that the fun-loving team would win, he thinks it'll be the win-hungry team. Chef's betting on the third team! If I win, I'm blowing the money on chocolate! _White_ chocolate, hehe! Because white is always best! ... Gah! I mean chocolate! Oh crap, I hope people don't take that the wrong way."

* * *

"Okay, the team for win-determined people," Chris said, looking at Heather directly, "are going to be Heather, Duncan, Courtney, Eva, Leshawna, and Justin. Now you all want to stand over here on the left side."

Five of the six campers moved over to the left side as told, only Leshawna was standing still, looking bitter. "Again, he sticks me with that stuck-up, spoiled, daddy's girl. Can't you ever put me with someone else, Chris?"

"Leshawna, you said so yourself the first day of TDI that you came to win," Chris replied, shrugging. "I didn't think you'd have a problem with it."

"Fine, so long as I'm not cuffed to that white girl, I'm fine."

Harold let out a disappointed exhale. "Fourth challenge and I still don't get to be on the same team as you, Leshawna. It seems the fates have decided we are to test our hearts by tearing at them."

"Say wha'?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"We have to fight each other to prove we can care about each other in the end."

"Aw, sugar," Leshawna grabbed Harold and gave him a big kiss. Bridgette, Lindsay, and Gwen cheered, while Courtney and Heather gagged. "You should know that even if I end up messing you up, I still got it bad for you."

"That means so much to me!"

Leshawna strutted over to her team, ignoring the snide look on Heather's face.

"Okay, you six are going to be called the Epic Ownage team," Chris shouted, clapping. Most of the members of the team looked quite unpleased with such a nerdy title for their team.

"The next team will be the team that came here to have a good time and make friends. Now originally," he frowned, "Geoff was going to be my first pick, but you, and you know who you are, voted him off!

"Not cool in my book. That made this place a little more less of a party. Anyway, Bridgette, you and the others will be in the middle of the campgrounds. You'll be joined by Cody, Beth, Lindsay, Ezekiel, and Trent." The six campers walked over to the center and said hello to each other. Bridgette looked a little upset by Chris bringing up Geoff, but a comforting pat on the shoulder from Ezekiel cheered her up.

"You six will be called the 2 Gs," Chris said, pointing at them with both hands.

"What does that mean?" Lindsay asked, her normal look of confusion on her face.

"2 Gs, as in GG. Good game," Chris said. Lindsay still looked lost. "Oh forget it, Lindsay, it's nerd talk."

"Ain't nothing wrong with that," Cody said, standing proud. He thumped his chest, then coughed against his will.

"The final team is going to be those who joined for their skills, or for other reasons," Chris said. "The six remaining campers, please go over to the right. That means Noah, Katie, Izzy, DJ, Harold, and Gwen."

As the six stood next to each other, it was almost comical how much bigger DJ was compared to all of them. He patted Harold and Katie on the shoulders for encouragement.

"You guys are going to be the Mad Crazy Skillz," Chris said. "Chef put money on you guys, by the way."

"Nice to see we have a fanbase already," Gwen remarked with a frown.

"Okay, everyone! Time for the handcuffing!" Chris said, holding up several pairs of handcuffs. "Here's how I've decided your cruel fates:

"On the Epic Ownage team, I'm going to pair up leadership-obsessed Courtney and Heather together, Duncan and Leshawna for old times sake, and Eva with Justin; let's see you get mad at our handsome man, Eva.

"On the 2 Gs, Ezekiel and (hehe) Bridgette are going to be handcuffed, because _some people_ voted off _Geoff_! Not cool, I repeat! Also, Cody and Trent are going to have to deal with each other, and Lindsay and Beth will be handcuffed too.

"Lastly, on the Mad Crazy Skillz, we will have Noah and DJ, Izzy and Katie, and Harold with Gwen. Let's see how long you people last before you tear each other apart!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The "Weird Can" Experience.)**

Katie - "Okay, I may be warming up to Izzy, but _handcuffed_ to her? Why not just duct tape me to the side of the train and let me pray I don't hit too many objects before my arrival at the station?"

Gwen - "Handcuffed to Harold? I cannot imagine how much of a horror this is going to be. He'll be wheezing and exhaling down my neck, and I am more than positive he hasn't conquered his nose picking habit. He'd better _not_ use the hand that will be handcuffed to mine."

Courtney - "Why is Chris obsessing over Geoff being voted off? He never did that for anyone else, is he _trying_ to make me look like a bad person? This is a survival contest, people, there are going to be people voted off!"

Ezekiel - \looking suspicious\ "... Why was Chris laughing when he said I'd be with Bridgette?"

Chris Maclean - "Okay, I got this another bet with Chef. If Ezekiel hits on Bridgette while he's handcuffed to her, I win fifty bucks. He seems to think Zeke is a cool guy, but that's only because the prairie boy helps him with dishes."

* * *

"How many times do I have to be chained to the white criminal, huh?" Leshawna shouted as she lifted up her cufflinked hand. "I am not his parole officer!"

"No, my parole officer is nicer," Duncan said, smirking.

Ezekiel and Bridgette exchanged looks after they were handcuffed by Owen. The prairie boy looked at the cuffs and said, "Wow. These make me want to obey the law just wearing them."

"I know, they're really uncomfortable," Bridgette said with a nod.

Cody was grinning nervously at Trent, who didn't understand his worry. Gwen was pouting and casting sharp side glances at Harold, who seemed oblivious to the anger because he was smiling at her. Izzy was already trying to see if she could chew through the chain of the cuffs, while Katie tried to tell her she'd ruin her teeth doing that.

"I'd like to point out the victory conditions for the overall challenge," Chris said. "The game is over when the team is reduced to one or no teammates, the entire challenge is over. The team with the most members left gets a special prize, while the losing team sends someone home."

"Does the winning team get to vote for the losing team this time too, like the last challenge?" Tyler asked from the sidelines.

"Nope! This time, the losing team has only themselves to vote for! There will be a short challenge follow-up for one person to win immunity, then the six team members will be voting one of the losing five off!"

"Why the change for this challenge?" Cody asked.

"I think twelve people will be too many votes. Also, since we have an odd-man out, I wanted to play a bit fair, since he cannot win, lose, or vote."

Tyler shrugged, though he and many of the other campers doubted Chris wanted to play fair.

"Next challenge, which will also be three teams of six, will have the winners voting for the losers. But we digress! Campers, time for your first part of your challenge," Chris announced.

"Owen is laying out three circles on the campgrounds. Two of your cufflinked couples are going to be standing in those circles, while the third couple is going to try and scare or force the encircled couples out of the circle!

"I should also note that Chef and Owen are passing out handcuff keys. You may use yours at any time to unlock your side of the handcuffs. However, once you do, you're not going to be able to hook back up and are out of the challenge."

"Why give us the key then?" Katie asked, pushing back on Izzy's head to prevent her from chewing on the chain.

"Well, if you're sick of your cuff buddy, if you're certain they're going to get you killed, or if you just don't want to be in the challenge anymore. Though I'm sure other reasons will come up. They always seem to."

Chris watched as the teams headed towards their circles. "Oh, and for this challenge, you get to pick which couple is going to be doing the scaring or shoving."

* * *

**(The 2 Gs)**

The six members of the 2 Gs exchanged looks, wondering what to say or what to ask.

"So, who's going to do the scaring, people?" Trent asked. His charismatic attitude got his teammates out of their funk.

"Well, why don't you and Colin do it?" Lindsay suggested, shrugging and accidentally yanking Beth's arm up in the process. "I don't think I can scare people, I'm too pretty for scaring."

"Right," Bridgette said, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I was hoping you could use the old-school tactic of promising the boys a kiss if they step out of the ring."

"I don't think Tyler would approve," Ezekiel said, though he chuckled. "Anyway, that won't work for any girls, and Epic Ownage has four girls."

"Which makes them weaker, huh?" the surfer girl asked, looking at her cuff buddy.

Ezekiel flushed, then chuckled nervously. "Um, you're joking again, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," Bridgette said. "Better get used to it, because teasing you can be my pastime for here while Geoff is gone."

"Thrills."

"There are worthe things than a pretty girl talking to you," Beth said, grinning at Ezekiel. The prairie boy smiled back, then his face suddenly lit up.

"Wait a minute, I just got a crazy idea," the toque-wearing boy exclaimed. "Guys, do you trust Bridgette and I to be the ones scaring the others out of the circles?"

The four exchanged glances. Cody was the first to speak. "Sure, dude. We don't have anything planned, so what have you got?"

"I just gotta go get something from my cabin when the challenge starts," Ezekiel said, "something I asked be sent from home. Bridgette," he grinned wickedly at her, "feeling brave enough to enter the boys cabin?"

"I've been in a boy's locker room before, no prob'," the surfer girl said, grinning back.

* * *

**(Mad Crazy Skills)**

"Okay, I think it's more than obvious who is most qualified for pushing people out of a circle here," Noah said, nudging DJ.

"Except it'll be four against him," Gwen pointed out. "And while I like you, DJ, you're not Mr. Aggressive."

"How about us, then?" Harold asked her. She rolled her eyes as he pulled a pair of numchucks out of seemingly nowhere. "I can threaten them with my numchuck skills!"

"I doubt you're allowed to hit them with those, Harold," Katie said, looking nervous.

"Oh! Oh oh oh! Pick me," Izzy shouted. "I could scare them!"

"That I have no doubt about," Gwen remarked, raising one of her dark eyebrows.

"There was this one time where I was being chased by an emu, and they're real big and nasty birds when riled," the redhead blabbered. She began to imitate an emu walking. "And so I turned around and gave that bird my nastiest face and loudest growl, and it took off running so fast that it actually tripped! It was so funny, it went like..."

Izzy performed a spinning fall, dragging Katie to the ground with her. The BFFF, lying on top of a cackling Izzy, looked to her teammates for help, but they could only give her sympathizing looks.

"Yep, Izzy will definitely be enough," Gwen said. "And Harold, put those away."

"Okay, okay, gosh."

* * *

**(Epic Ownage)**

Eva stared at her teammates. She loathed Heather a great deal, but being chained to Justin was a tranquilizer to her normally furious, bear-like fury.

"Justin and I can handle the people in the circles," she said, elbowing the model. "Think you're up for stunning people with your good looks, handsome?" Though Justin was nervous about being cuffed with Eva, he didn't show it as he grinned and nodded. The fitness buff swooned a little, then glared back at her teammates. "Any problems?"

"Girl, I ain't got any," Leshawna said as the others shook their heads.

"Courtney and I are going to be just fine, aren't we Courtney?" Heather said, grinning at the CIT. The brunette looked away and muttered her affirmation.

"Somethin' wrong, Courtney?" Duncan asked.

"Nothing, Duncan," she replied, a bit harsher than she meant to.

Something was wrong, and that something was what happened two nights ago.

* * *

_(Two nights ago Flashback)_

_"I think you should pay close attention to what I have to say to you, Courtney."_

_The brunette glared at the queen bee for a few seconds before finally speaking. "I suppose you're going to blackmail me, aren't you? Unless I do as you say, you'll tell everyone I planned it."_

_Heather laughed. "Sure, I'm going to do something illegal while cameras are filming every action I make. And even if I wanted to, who would believe me over you?"_

_"Then what do you want? Why are you following me?"_

_"Because I want what you want. I want Harold off this island too, and I want those I hate the despise to be kicked off too."_

_Courtney blinked and rubbed her arm. "That's all you want?"_

_"I need someone to help me survive all the hate that the losers generated over me. But I want someone smart this time, someone I know isn't going to be a bumbling fool like Lindsay and Beth._

_"You're smart. You've figured out a way to take out Harold on challenges he isn't the loser in. That's why you got rid of Geoff, right?"_

_Courtney only replied with a nod. Heather approached her, standing inches from the brunette CIT. "I thought it was, at first, merely because you were sick of hearing him talk about parties. But then I remembered he was saying how Harold partied with him. It clicked after the marshmallow ceremony._

_"You wanted all of Harold's friends off of the island so that he wouldn't have any allies. Therefore, anyone who wouldn't vote for him would be gone or help him during challenges, right?"_

_"Right," Courtney admitted._

_"Harold's friends are my enemies too, but I have other enemies," Heather explained. She snaked her left arm around Courtney's shoulder and pulled her close. "I know you don't approve of Gwen, and I want her off. So this is my proposal..._

_"I help you vote off Harold and any of his allies that we can, and you help me vote off Gwen and any of her pitiful friends. Deal?"_

_Courtney's mind and heart were screaming. Her heart was pleading with her that this was a very bad idea, but her mind was saying how this was perfect for her revenge. Courtney had relied on her mind for decisions almost all her life._

_"Okay, deal," Courtney replied. "But," she shrugged off Heather's arm, "don't think for one second that you can tell me what to do. I'm not stupid like Lindsay or naive like Beth. I will be able to see if you're trying to use me."_

_"As I said, you're too smart for that, Courtney," the ravenhair smirked. "Just one question before I leave you be. Duncan stays here, right?" "Yes," Courtney replied faster than she meant to. She looked away and repeated herself. "Yes, I'd like for Duncan to stay."_

_"If you'd like. He's not my type, but if you have that inner bad girl, it's none of my business," she turned away, but said one last thing before strutting away. "Shame that Bridgette was _so_ upset when Geoff left. Not part of your plan, was it?"_

_Courtney waited until the ravenhair was too far away to hear her whisper to herself, "No... no, it wasn't."_

* * *

Courtney shook the memories away for now. "So, Eva and Justin, right?"

"Yes," Eva replied, getting impatient.

"Alright, everyone looks ready," Chris announced. "Ready... set... go!"

Ezekiel and Bridgette made a beeline for the boys' side of the Killer Bass cabin. Izzy, almost dragging Katie behind her, ran over to the Epic Ownage's circle. Eva and Justin passed by her as they headed for the Mad Crazy Skillz.

"Boo," Izzy shouted, snarling and swiping at Leshawna and Duncan. "You'd better worry, I got my license to kill renewed before I came here!"

Leshawna raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

Eva and Justin were now wrestling with all of the Mad Crazy Skillz, struggling most with DJ. With a mighty shove, Eva managed to knock the football player out of the circle, along with Noah.

One couple out, Eva and Justin rounded on the remaining Mad Crazy Skillz. Harold frowned, and pulled out his numchucks. Eva scoffed and reached for him when he spun the numchucks in front of him. The fitness buff backed off, not willing to be hit by the whirling weapon.

"I'll be back for you," Eva snarled before walking away. Harold tucked the numchucks in his back pocket.

"Nice one," said Gwen. The brunette nerd beamed with pride.

Ezekiel and Bridgette were heading back, the prairie boy holding his bow and an arrow in his hands. The two stood facing the Major Ownage circle, Ezekiel with a wicked grin.

"Okay, Bridgette," he said as he held up his bow, notching the arrow, "watch this! I'm gonna hit the tree behind those guys!"

"Aren't you worried about hitting them?" she asked, covering her mouth with her free hand; her other hand was helping hold the arrow.

"Naw, I practiced my archery a couple months ago, I shouldn't be that rusty!"

Heather and Courtney screamed and ran as fast as they could. Duncan tried to run but Leshawna was holding him back. "He's bluffing, you fool!"

"He's trying to impress a girl, he ain't bluffing," Duncan shouted, pulling furiously at her arm.

Izzy and Katie took this to their advantage, and shoved Leshawna hard from behind, sending her and Duncan out of the circle. The punk was quite uncomfortable with the large sister on top of him.

"Could you move your overly plush body off me?"

"Could you refrain from saying things that make me want to strangle you?"

Ezekiel and Bridgette began laughing, while Chris approached them. "Dudes, that was a little risky..."

"There was no danger," Bridgette said between laughs, "Ezekiel never strung the bow."

Meanwhile, Eva and Justin were busy struggling with the 2 Gs. 'Struggle' might have been the wrong word, because Cody and Trent had been shoved out in a couple seconds. Beth and Lindsay whimpered as Eva approached them, hands outstretched.

"You wouldn't kill us, would you, Serena?" Lindsay cried.

Eva's eye twitch. The other campers watched as Beth and Lindsay were sent flying into the air, falling into a tree and getting caught by the branches.

"Ouch," Lindsay said as she tried to comb her hair with her fingers, "she is strong. And ewww, this tree is sappy! Sap is yucky, yucky, yucky!"

"It's not tho bad," Beth replied. "It's a lot less painful than the trees near my school, where the kids throw my book bags up in."

"Awww, that's so mean," Lindsay said. "You'd have to shake the tree really hard to bring them down."

"Naw, I climb them, quite good at it by now," Beth said. "Just follow my lead."

"But I'm not a climber," Lindsay protested.

* * *

"Well, with the Major Ownage and 2 Gs being eliminated from this team, that means they have to remove a member of the team," Chris announced after Beth and Lindsay, very sticky and scratched and (in Lindsay's case) whiny, were down from the tree.

Owen was pushing a large display, which had a large spinner on the face. He smiled as he posed at the side. "This is the Random Loser Generator," he said to the campers. "Or the Random Winner Generator, depending on the situation."

"We could have used this at the beginning, actually," Chris said, grinning. "Just set it for all twenty-two of you, select two winners, and give away the prizes that way."

"You joker, Chris," Owen chuckled. "If we did that, we wouldn't have as much fun!"

The campers who were still in the contest rolled their eyes. Though they knew what Owen meant, they knew Chris's definition of "fun" was something far worse.

"Well, let's just set it for the members of Major Ownage," Chris said, pushing some buttons on the side. The faces of Justin, Heather, Courtney, Duncan, Eva, and Leshawna appeared on six divisions on the circle.

"Owen, give it a spin," Chris said.

The big guy grabbed the arrow and threw it down as hard it could. It spun around, shot off the peg, and nearly took off Trent's head if he hadn't ducked fast enough. Chris started laughing as Owen apologized profusely.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - What an 'arrowing experience.)**

Trent - "I almost became a stop sign there!"

Eva - "When Chris said they were running low on interns because of the dangerous challenges, I didn't think he'd hire dangerous interns for extra challenges."

* * *

After returning the pointer back on the peg, Chris spun the arrow around this time. The arrow went round and round, like a record, until it rested on Justin's section.

"Awww, shucks," Chris said. "Justin, you're out. Eva, you'll have to wait until someone else on your team has been eliminated before you're re-cuffed."

Eva looked like her birthday had been canceled when she was unchained from Justin.

Chris pushed more buttons, and the faces of the members of 2 Gs appeared on the spinner. With a third spin of the arrow, the second non-lethal spin, it landed on Lindsay.

"You're out, beautiful," Chris said. "Go take a shower and get all that sap off."

With a happy squeal, Lindsay ran off to the communal washrooms. Justin shrugged, and went to stand next to Tyler, who had been watching the whole deal.

"Now, we still have a great deal of you left, so we have a great deal of challenges left," Chris announced, turning back to the teams. "And this next one is going to be a little different."

"I notice you always say that when you have a particularly evil idea on your mind," Leshawna said, her hands on her hips. "Why don't you come out and say it? 'This one is going to hurt some of you'."

" 'Some'?" Chris replied, raising an eyebrow. Leshawna's eyes bugged, and she slapped her forehead, almost pulling Duncan off his feet.

Owen tapped his fingers together. "Um, Chris? Are you going to set up the suspense for the break, or can I do it?"

"Oh... why don't you, Owen? I had that great line."

The jolly giant grinned at the campers, wiggling a key. "Get ready to move your handcuffs, guys!"

"What?" Gwen asked. "To where?"

"Your ankles!"

--

**Part 2 approaching, pending, forthcoming, nearing, impending, and on it's way!**

* * *

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Here are the teams, in case you need a cheat sheet:

**Major Ownage** - Heather, Courtney, Duncan, Leshawna, Eva, Justin

**The 2 Gs** - Bridgette, Ezekiel, Cody, Trent, Beth, Lindsay

**Mad Crazy Skillz** - Harold, Gwen, Noah, DJ, Izzy, Katie

--

PS - I took a criminology class where I got to try on handcuffs. They are very uncomfortable and unnerving to wear. Obey the law, my friends, you don't want to wear those.


	13. Day 4, Part 2: The Wild n Crazy Outdoors

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you are allergic to raccoons, I apologize for any rashes you got in the last chapter.

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* * *

**Chapter 13 (Day 04, Part 2)** - Insert Your Own Chain Joke Here

--

The teams were all facing a rather large pond, where a raised platform was set up on both sides. Three long planks were positioned between the platforms, and the campers were fairly certain what the challenge was.

"So we're going to walk across one of the planks to the other side while cuffed to the ankle of our partner," Bridgette said aloud, saying what they all were thinking.

"Exact-amundo," Chris exclaimed. "Every couple linked at the ankle will have to walk across one of the planks. If anyone falls in, one of the two will be eliminated from the contest!"

No one said anything. If they dared asked, "Is that it?" or "That's all there is to it?" or "That seems tame enough," they would receive a nasty surprise.

They didn't need to ask. Chris was happy enough to bring up the stinger.

"Oh, and I wouldn't fall in that water if I were you," the host said. "That water is almost near boiling!"

The campers all gasped in horror. Owen scooped a glass out to pour into his bowl of oatmeal, and ate happily.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Must be Celsius, this is Canada.)**

Heather - "I seriously wanted to push Chris in that water. It would be such poetic justice. But for this time, I'd settle for knocking Gwen in if I could."

* * *

"Major Ownage gets to use the left plank, the 2 Gs go down the middle plank, and Mad Crazy Skills are traveling down the right plank," Chris explained. "Who wants to go first?"

"Me me me me me me me," Izzy shouted. She jumped up and down, yanking Katie off her foot and onto the ground. "This is like that time I was captured by pirates, and they were gonna make me walk the plank, but I turned around and kicked his sword away from him-"

"Going then?" Chris interrupted.

"Yes yes yes, woohoo," Izzy shouted, running towards the platform, dragging Katie behind her.

"What did I do to -ow!- deserve this?" Katie asked as she was dragged away.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We personally think Katie doesn't deserve it.)**

Harold - "Maybe this is just Chris's excuse to have a boiling pond so he can throw in a few lobsters afterwards."

Cody - "I knew I was doomed! Trent must hate me, what boyfriend wouldn't? He probably would unlock his cuff then push me in."

* * *

"Steady, Courtney," Heather said as they walked sideways. Courtney barely nodded, focusing on walking and not falling off.

"And then I threw the captain overboard, taking his hat and his peg leg," Izzy chattered, walking forward, "and his men swore their allegiance to me, and I had a parrot on my shoulder-"

"What'd you do with the peg leg?" Katie asked. The tan-skilled girl was crawling on her stomach, backwards. She may have been terrified, but she still was interested in Izzy's story.

"Oh, I used it as a doorstop."

Noah and DJ were still chatting about their computer game, War of Prism. The egghead was stating how surprised he was that nature-loving DJ played a computer game. Turns out, his girlfriend got him on it.

"Usually, guys have to beg their girlfriends," Noah remarked. He started to wobble, waving his arms around like pinwheels, but DJ got him. The football player was strong and graceful enough to support them both.

Harold and Gwen were desperately trying to cross, but Harold was slowing them down by scooting on his bottom while Gwen walked. "You'd better not try looking up my skirt," she snarled at him.

"I wouldn't do that, gosh," he protested.

Duncan and Leshawna were doing well as far as pace, but not attitude. "I hope you don't fall in," the criminal was saying with a wicked smile, "or you'll be one hot sister!"

"I seriously hope you didn't find that funny," she replied, grumbling.

"If your boyfriend falls in, he'll be Hot'old!

"Duncan, I am warning you-"

"If you fell, you'd be Le'sauna!"

"That does it," Leshawna said, "I'm diving."

She didn't, however, but Cody looked like he would have preferred it. "So, Trent, we're cool, right?" he asked, with a whimper.

"Yeah, we are," Trent replied. "why do you ask?"

Cody chuckled more, sounding nervous. "Oh, no reason."

"Is this about Gwen?"

Cody spun around, almost knocking them over. "No! No no no! Of course not! Gwen? Hehe, ehehe! Nosiree!"

Trent tried to calm the skinny boy down, but Cody was waving his arms around so much that he was beginning to lose his balance. The musician grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Cody! Look, it's cool! I know you like Gwen, but I also know you are being cool and not hitting on her! So we're cool!"

The geek let out a long, relieved sigh. "That's great, Trent. Oh, and one more thing..." "Yeah, Cody?"

"I think I'm losing my balance."

In stereo screaming, Trent and Cody toppled over into the water. With horrible screaming, they thrashed in the water.

"Do the butterfly, do the butterfly," Cody was shouting, while Trent preferred to doggie-paddle his way to the shore. When they pulled themselves up and out of the pond, their skin was a painful, bright red.

"That looked like it hurt big time," Izzy said. A large grin spread across her face. Katie started screaming "no no no" until the redhead finally agreed. "I'll do it after the challenge then."

Bridgette, who saw her teammates go over and into the hot water, cringed horribly. She wobbled, then grabbed onto Ezekiel from behind.

"Oh, we're not gonna make it," she whimpered. "Just unlock the cuffs and go on without me!"

"Are you crazy, Bridgette? I'm not gonna leave you behind, eh!"

"No, you don't understand, Zeke! I have the worse balance on land! I'm gonna fall, I know it!"

She wrapped her arms around him from behind, whimpering. Ezekiel stopped and his eyes went wide, as Bridgette's breasts were now pushed against his back. He went stiff, and tried desperately to focus more on his balance.

Noah also had a very nervous partner after Trent and Cody went over. Though he didn't find holding DJ's hand as exciting.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Just repeat to yourself, it's just a show.)**

DJ - "I really appreciate Noah for helping get over that plank. I didn't think I'd make it. Maybe he's not as uncaring as people think he is."

Noah - "DJ's pretty cool, but he sure has sweaty palms. I wonder how he manages to hold onto the football."

Beth - "Boy, I thure am glad I wathn't up there."

* * *

DJ and Noah were at the other side, the big guy breathing heavily. Noah told him what a brave boy he was, patting his hand. Duncan and Leshawna were also across, and the large sister was shaking the punk by the collar, daring him to make one more pun. Harold and Gwen also made it across, and the goth girl was still sour at Harold.

Izzy and Katie weren't across yet. The redhead was showing Katie how far over she could lean without falling off, and the BFFF was silently saying good-bye to Sadie.

"Bridgette, listen to me," Ezekiel said. The surfer had wrapped her arms around his chest so tight that he was having a hard time breathing. "You... you gotta keep going. I know you can do this. Just... -grk!- take deep breaths!"

Bridgette did as he suggested, calming down her frayed nerves. After a few more seconds, she whispered, "Now what?"

"Now...," Ezekiel wheezed, "you could... let me breathe." She let go of him, and he almost doubled-over at he gasped for air. "Okay, eh," he said after collecting himself, "just take this one step at a time. Here we go, eh."

The two carried on, slowly but surely. Heather noticed this, and scowled.

"They're getting ahead," she shouted to Courtney. "We need to speed up!"

Izzy and Katie had finally made it across. The redhead noticed the two groups still walking on the boards, and her sinister grin came back. "Hey, Katie?" she said to her partner. "Feel like jumping up and down?"

Katie didn't know what shocked her more: the fact that Izzy wanted to shake her opponents into that near-boiling water, or that she actually asked to do something before she did it! "Actually, yes," Katie said with a wicked grin of her own. "I doubt Heather would like that."

The two started jumping up and down on the platform, causing small tremors on the boards. The four contestants still on the planks screamed in terror; DJ, safe on the ground, screamed too, though only he knew why.

"Katie! Stop that right now," Courtney shouted at her former teammate.

The BFFF recognized her teammate's shout and stopped, but Izzy didn't. She was performing a tap dance on the platform, clapping her hands and appealing to an imaginary audience.

Ezekiel and Bridgette finally made it, with the surfer gripping the prairie boy from behind, heaving in fear. Katie grinned at Ezekiel and nodded, while the toque-wearing boy shrugged at this, wondering what the girl was silently congratulating him on.

"Izzy," Heather shouted, "when I get over there, you are so dead!"

"Oh yeah?" the redhead shouted back. "I'm the one with a license to kill!"

At "kill," Izzy stomped directly on the Major Ownage's board. The vibration traveled down the plank and knocked both girls off. They splashed in the extremely hot water, and scrambled to get back to the shore.

Heather was now a painful-looking red, while Courtney's tan skin looked darker. The two girls panted as steam came from their soaked bodies.

"Now Courtney looks really hot," Duncan remarked, grinning. Leshawna knocked him down at this and dragged him away.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Just a mild warm, thank you.)**

Courtney - "Izzy is so dead!"

Katie - "Izzy is so cool!"

Duncan - "Courtney is so hot! Woohoo!" \Leshawna, who is still linked to him, starts to throttle him.\

* * *

"So, we have a few cooked campers here," Chris noted as he watched Heather wring out her hair while she and Courtney glared daggers at Izzy. "I flipped a coin a couple times while you all were recovering from that wild challenge to see who was taken off, right Owen?"

The large teenager was scarfing down noodles, which he had prepared with the hot water from the pond. He nodded and continued to eat.

"That reminds me, tell Chef to get the lobsters ready," the host muttered before turning back to the campers. "Courtney and Trent, you both are out. So that means Eva will be with Heather, and Cody with Beth."

Heather was horrified while Cody smiled and shrugged. Eva narrowed her eyes at the popular girl, while Beth grinned at her new partner.

After finishing his noodles, Owen, with Chris's help, put the handcuffs back on everyone's wrists. The campers exchanged looks with their partners, old and new, before turning back to Chris.

"Just don't ruin my shoes," Heather hissed at Eva. "Or my hair. Or my nails. Or my-"

"Shut up," the muscular girl grumbled. The queen bee obeyed, although quite grudgingly.

"Your next challenge is going to be interesting," Chris said.

"Painful," Leshawna translated.

"Well, maybe not. Depends on how much you like your cuff buddy," the host said. "We're calling in a couple helicopters to have you taken a couple hours' length of hiking distance from the camps. Being the generous host I am, I am making it a rather easy hike, as you will all have compasses and a map, and you only have to head directly south."

Heather looked at Eva, and began to sweat. She was seriously considering using her own key now.

"You merely have to walk back to camp together, without killing one another! Last one back loses one of the members! Any questions?"

"They allowed to take anything with them?" Tyler asked.

The handsome host turned to the odd-man out. "Umm... sure, yeah."

"Courtney, get my make-up bag before I go, will ya?" Heather asked the CIT. The brunette shrugged and headed off to the cabins.

Katie wanted a picture of Sadie before she left. Harold wanted to bring a bag of snacks that he had been saving. Gwen wanted to bring Trent, but Chris had to draw the line there.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We sense your presence.)**

Eva - "So, trapped in a middle of a forest with Heather for a couple hours. More than enough time to kill her and hide the body." \She chuckles and rubs her hands. Then she stops suddenly and looks around at the camera.\ "Um, that's a joke. If anything does happen to her, it was purely accidental."

Trent - \He is shaking in fear, whimpering.\ "Please, don't let any bears attack Gwen! No lions, no tigers, and no bears!"

* * *

They were taken up in the air by helicopter. Katie had to hold a hysterical Izzy, who threw up over the side a couple times in terror. DJ clung to Noah, who almost suffocated by the big guy's clinging reaction. Harold wanted to look out over the side, but Gwen was certain he'd fall and take her with him, so she held him back in the helicopter.

When they finally landed, Izzy and DJ kissed the ground in joy. Harold watched the helicopters go, then frowned at Gwen. "It's not every day one gets to be in a helicopter," he said to her. "You could have let me at least look out a little more."

"No. Now come on," Gwen snapped, jerking Harold behind her. His cry of, "Gos-whoa," was the last thing the others heard before the two disappeared into the forest. Izzy, groggy from fright and barfing, was carried on Katie's back.

"So, how long have you been playing a nature magess?" Noah asked DJ as they walked into the forest.

"Well, not too long. I named him after Bunny, did I tell you that?"

"You named a male grove elf Bunny?" Noah laughed.

Heather was applying some powder to her face while walking alongside Eva. "Why are you putting that crap on?" the fitness buff asked her. "There's no cameras out here."

"I doubt that," Heather replied. "Chris wouldn't want to miss it if someone gets killed by a bear. I hope Gwen or Leshawna do."

Duncan and Leshawna went into the forest, shouting, "I'm leading," "No, I'm leading," "I'm holding the compass," "No, I'm holding the compass," "You want me to kick your butt, white boy," "Well, I'll kick your butt, which is a much bigger target!"

Cody and Beth went in, discussing all the wild times they had at their high school; it was more than likely both were exaggerating for every story. Bridgette and Ezekiel headed in together as well, making small talk.

"So, think a woman can use a compass properly?" Bridgette asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Better than I could, eh," he replied, shrugging. "You know how I'm not an outdoors guy."

"That's a shame, Zeke. Mother Nature is gorgeous," she then sighed, looking upset. "I just wish I wasn't so frightened of her."

"It actually soo'prised me when you admitted you were scared of being left in the foo'rest alone, when you love nature so much. Bad experience as a child, eh?"

"Really bad," Bridgette admitted. "I loved nature so much when I was a kid, I wanted to see what it was like deep in. So, like a little idiot child, I ran as far as I could into a forest. I was lost for three days, and when they found me, I was famished, scratched up, and sick with fear.

"I don't think I'll ever be that scared again, I wasn't even that scared on that last challenge compared to that experience," she admitted. "My mom didn't even have to punish me for running off, it was obvious I had learned my lesson. But not that I'm older and could explore without getting lost, I'm too terrified to be in the woods alone."

She managed to smile and look at Ezekiel. "That's why I'm glad you're here. I just wish you enjoyed the outdoors and fresh air as much as I did."

"I could get used to it, eh," Ezekiel said with a shrug. "Though I was raised for about ninety-five percent of my life indoors."

"You've got a lot to learn, Zeke," she said, giggling. "I'm just glad you got over the whole 'women aren't as strong or smart as men are' attitude. May I ask what changed that?"

"Tell you what, eh. We make it through this entire challenge alive, in one piece and not in last place, I'll tell you, eh."

"Goody," she said with a giggle. That happy gleam in her eyes with that cute laugh made Ezekiel swoon inwardly.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - A little later limited.)**

Chris Maclean - \snaps his fingers\ "Darn it! C'mon, Zeke, my fifty bucks are at stake here! I installed cameras out there to capture you hitting on Bridgette! ... And if any of the campers get mauled by a bear, of course."

* * *

"That is amazing! You guys actually managed to take down Gradowtyce the Death Guardian?" DJ asked, smiling widely

"Yup, it was a wicked fight," Noah admitted. "We had been trying for about three months, destroying every other boss easily, and then we finally killed him. Luckily, I got everything I wanted from the previous bosses for my necromancer."

"Didn't they make him easier next patch?"

"Yep. It was announced the day after we killed him that he was going to be easier," Noah rolled his eyes. "That's life for ya."

"Like nature, it can be cruel," DJ said with a nod. "Still, you get bragging rights."

"Sure do. So, how far have you got in your raiding with your nature magess?"

Before DJ could answer, a great, big, brown bear stood up on his hind legs, growling fiercely. He let out a loud roar, scaring Noah and DJ out of their wits. With two high-pitched screams, the boys ran as fast as they could as the bear chased them.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Completely random in order.)**

Bear - \in bear language, Bearican\ "i wussent gonna hurt dem, i just wanted dem to shut up; i had to listn to dem talkin bout dat stoopid game fur twenty minutes"

* * *

"I cannot make head or tail out of this map," Harold wheezed as he stared hard at it.

Gwen, impatient enough as it was, snatched it from him. "That's because you're holding it upside-down!"

Harold was quiet for some time, looking ashamed. He managed to summon up his courage a few minutes later. "Look, Gwen, as long as we're going to be stranded out here, we might as well get along."

"Yeah, right," she growled as she studied the map.

"I'm serious! Being out here in the wild with my allergies acting up is bad enough, but I don't want to be handcuffed to someone who cannot stand me."

"Harold, face it. We're far too different to ever have any kind of friendship."

"That's not true," he balked, looking upset.

"Oh yeah? Name one thing we have in common!"

Harold had to think about it for a while, tapping his hairy chin. "We... both like Leshawna?"

Gwen lost her ugly frown as she realized this was true. "Okay, I have to give you that one," she remarked. "Why do you like, anyway?"

"She's so special and unique," Harold gushed, clasping his hands together in front of his heart, accidentally yanking Gwen's to his thin chest. "She cares about people, she won't take any crap from bad people, she can speak her mind...

"It's like she was made to be a guardian of some kind. And she's so beautiful too," he said as he grinned a lovesick grin. "That hair, that mocha skin, that body of hers that looks so healthy and strong."

"Okay, okay, I get the admiration," Gwen said, trying hard to cover a smile. "But Harold, while you admire her, are you sure you and her are a good couple? There are a lot of differences between you two."

"I've heard that before, actually," Harold said with a chuckle. "I actually wanted to make sure someone like her would be right for me. So I sold some of my cherry action figures so I could afford to take a plane ride over to her city and a hotel nearby. It was for about a week, and-"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Gwen shouted, holding her hands up. "Hold the phone? Your _cherry_ action figures?"

"Yes."

"You... you sold them? My brother has cherry action figures that are more dear to him than his legs!"

When Harold simply nodded, Gwen could not stop her smile for the brunette nerd. "Wow. You really are in love with her."

"Yes," he replied. "It was worth it. We really learned a lot about each other, and I got along great with her family."

"That's a good thing, getting her family's approval."

"Yeah," Harold said, looking a little upset now. "Just wish my family approved."

"How could they not like her?" Gwen was shocked by this. "She's so caring and tough and resourceful and... and..."

"Well, my mom and dad think it's not safe to be in a relationship at my age, and my brother and sister," he rolled his eyes, the first time Gwen had ever seen him do that, "well, they disapprove of everything I do, why would this be different?"

"Maybe if they met Leshawna, she'd change their minds," the goth girl replied. She grinned wickedly as she added, "by slapping some sense into them."

"That would be great," Harold said with a grin.

* * *

Heather and Eva walked, quiet for over an hour now. Heather had applied lipstick, eyebrow pencil liner, facial powder, eye shadow, nail polish (much to Eva's chagrin when she had to have the hand chained to her's), nail filer, and had demanded a rest so she could paint her toenails too.

Apart from the fact that Heather seemed to _breathe_ in a condescending manner, Eva was okay with what they had going. And what they had going was no talking, no arguing, no dragging someone across the dirty ground (which would have been Heather if she had done either of the first two).

Also, Eva had her iPod. She was content in not talking to the demoness when she could listen to Flirting with the Succubus.

* * *

"You've been awfully quiet, Izzy," Katie remarked after about a half-hour into their trek. "Still woozy?"

"Lil' bit, yeah," the redhead replied. "You wanna talk?"

"I do love talking, but I tend to babble," the tan-skinned girl admitted. "And I like to ask a lot of questions. You mind?"

"No, I don't."

"You like anyone at camp?"

"Owen," Izzy chimed, her face lighting up immediately.

"Ah, I forgot about that completely," Katie said. "May I ask how you two get along?"

Izzy beamed. "Oh so well! Owen used to be a bit crass and careless and ready to push me in front when serial killers came at us, but I trimmed the roughest of edges off of him. He's so nice and kind and friendly... and..."

Izzy blushed, the first time Katie had ever seen her do that. "He really likes me. And honestly, a girl as smart and wild and adventurous as me doesn't get a lot of guys who are interested. They're usually scared away or treat me like a balloon filled with explosive gas."

Katie could certainly see why, but not now, not while Izzy was showing a vulnerable side that she (or for that matter, anyone else) had ever seen. "That cannot be true, Izzy. I mean, you have gorgeous hair, green eyes I'd _kill_ for, you're in shape, and you have the most, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, the most unique personality I've ever seen in anyone, ever."

"That's usually what gets them running," Izzy said with a shrug. "They don't like being around this girl who is so different, that they cannot predict. But Owen likes that about me, he likes being with me.

"And I'd be really stupid to turn down someone who's not only interested in me, but is so nice and generous and likes a lot of the things I do."

Katie nodded. "Wow, Izzy. I gotta say, Owen's a lucky guy!"

"Thanks," the crazy girl said as she bat her green eyes. "Oh, there's something I'm gonna ask you that will spoil the mood of the conversation, but I'd like to ask it now before I forget!"

The BFFF still smiled as she shrugged and asked, "Is it about my boobs?"

"Nope," Izzy cackled. "Who do _you_ like here? A boy that is, not Sadie, that's obvious."

"Well," Katie said, blushing, "I actually... really like..."

* * *

"You're kidding me," Beth shouted at Cody, an incredulous look on her face. "No one at school asked you about Total Drama Island?!"

"Nope," Cody admitted. "Oh sure, they were talking about it. People had favorites and those they bet on, but they didn't ask me about it."

"How ith that pofthible?" the farm girl cried out, spit flying from her mouth with that sentence and from excitement. "You were here, on the island! You met everyone, you were on the team that had four out of the five finalithts! Why wouldn't they talk to you?"

The geek shrugged. "I dunno. Guess they didn't think I knew enough to bother them."

"Didn't people even talk to you about it? Mention it at all?" Beth was waving her arms around, sending Cody's skinny arm flopping around too. "How could the popular kidsth not want to have you at their table at lunch?"

"Well, there were a lot of nicknames going around."

"Huh? Like what?"

Cody chose to study the map as they walked at this point. "Oh, you know... 'Bear Bait,' 'Goth Chaser,' 'Gwen Fanboy,' 'Body Cast'..."

Beth gasped as if she had been told something foul. "They didn't!"

"Yep, they did. No big deal, I guess."

"What do you mean, 'no big deal'? You were one of the contethtants on the most popular show in Canada, and all they could do is think up mean nicknames for you?"

Cody sighed. "That's the way it is sometimes, Beth. Maybe I just went to the wrong school," he said. "Well, you never know. Maybe I'll find one of those fangirls that the other campers keep talking about."

"Aww, that'd be thwell," Beth said, clapping her hands. "Dating a girl who'th really into you, like having a dream cruth come true."

The geek chuckled, then went back to looking at the map and compass. Beth smiled during the silence, then she looked around as if to find the answer to a question she had on her mind.

"Cody," she said, rather slowly, "do you... do you still like Gwen?"

"I like her, yes," he replied. "But she's with Trent now. And even if she wasn't, I don't think she'd be into me."

"It's a little bit like forbidden fruit, ithn't it?" she asked with a nervous smile. "The girl of your dreams whom you still want when you know you cannot have her."

"Too true, Beth. You ever have that?"

"Well, a little. But... naw, never mind."

"No, go on, tell me."

"It might make you feel bad."

"I can take it. I survived a time bomb explosion, a bear mauling, and more in my life, I can handle the truth."

Beth took a deep breath, then nodded. "Well, I really wanted to be popular before I wath at Total Drama Island. And when I went back to school... boy, people wouldn't stop asking me quethtions. I got to hang out with the popular kidsth for thometime, as well as my own friends! People were asking about me or Heather or Gwen or you."

When Cody looked at her, she nodded. "Yeth, there were quite a few girls who were asking about you. Real cute ones too, you know!" She winked, and the brunette geek giggled, flushing slightly. "And they also told me over and over how much they loved me standing up to Heather!"

"I was proud of you too, I just had my mouth bandaged at the time."

"I'm glad you didn't get any noticeable scarths."

"Well, one," Cody admitted. He raised the left side of his shirt to reveal four, bear claw slashing scars that went down from his left breast down to his naval, one of them almost dipping into his belly button.

"Wow," Beth marveled. "That's quite... oh... may I?" she twiddled her fingers in front of the scar.

"Naw, I don't mind."

Beth ran her fingers down the scar lines, then smiled. "It is true then, I guess."

"That wrestling a bear is a bad idea?"

"No, that chicks dig scarths."

They shared a good laugh, then continued on their way.

* * *

Noah and DJ ran up the highest cliff on Wawanakwa Island, fleeing from the bear. When they reached the top of the cliff, the two young men skidded to a halt. The bear stopped as well, glaring at them.

The large football player lost his balance and started to lean off the cliff. Noah grabbed him and yanked him back, which caused the bookworm to fall off instead. Grabbing the egghead's wrist, DJ held on tight.

Dangling a thousand feet over open water, Noah was still cynical. "You know, when I said I wanted to hang out with you... I didn't mean-"

"Don't you say that," DJ shouted. "I ain't facing one of my worst phobias to hear that old pun!"

Noah gasped at this, showing a rare case of concern. "You hate heights, man?"

"Terr... i... fied...," the gentle giant whimpered, "but I'm... not... letting you... go...!"

Fear kept DJ from pulling Noah up, he was too scared to move. The bear was watching, paws over his mouth, in terrible suspense on what was going to happen.

Noah knew what he had to do. "Well, DJ, I know what I have to do then," he said as he took his handcuff key from his pocket.

"What? Noah... no!"

"I ain't gonna ask you to jump, and I know how to get to camp from the beach down there," the tan-skinned boy replied with a grin. "Sorry DJ, but you gotta spend some time with your animal buddies while you head back."

He unlocked his side of his handcuffs, and the lack of the extra support caused DJ to drop him. It all seemed to happen in slow-motion to DJ, but it happened pretty darn fast to Noah, who plummeted down to the water below.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We provide better cliff hangers.)**

Bear - \in bear language, Bearican\ "how terible! how dramatik and tear-jerkin! an he didnt even make it into da safe ring! lukily da sharks wur on vacation, dey send me postcards"

* * *

Duncan and Leshawna were getting along opposing sports' fans.

"It's been about an hour and a half, and we aren't anywhere close to the camp," Leshawna shouted. "Why the hell did I let you use the map?"

"Look, Ms. Loudmouth, it was because you kept insisting we go around all the obstacles," the punk shouted, waving the map up in the air. "We should have gone around all the trees and boulders and the other nature crap! Maybe I should drag your oversized buff through the shrubbery-"

"Don't pull that tough guy business with me, you don't intimidate me," she fired back. "If anyone gets dragged, it's gonna be you!"

"You think I'm pulling an act, how about you?" Duncan replied, his temper rising; his face was getting red. "You act so tough and proud, and you're dating the nerd!"

"Why you!"

She leapt at him, and a large (albeit partly-chained) fist fight erupted. The animals of the forest had never seen a comic book's action scene, but this would do.

* * *

Ezekiel pulled a small electronic device from his pocket: Tyler's iPod. He popped in one of the headphone pieces into his right ear and started shuffling through the songs.

"You got one of those? I didn't even know you owned one," Bridgette said.

"I don't, this is Tyler's, eh," he admitted. He grinned and offered her the other earpiece. She took it and inserted the earpiece in her left ear.

They listened to music for the rest of the hike, and were first at the campground.

"Yay, hooray," Owen shouted. He ran over to the two and gave them big, one-armed hugs, almost crushing them.

"Bravo, guys," Chris said as he clapped. Ezekiel couldn't help but feel that Chris was unhappy with him, though he couldn't think of why. Lindsay and Trent applauded for their teammates, while the prairie boy retuned the iPod to Tyler.

Soon following were Harold and Gwen, Izzy and Katie, and Heather and Eva. Most were surprised that Heather was not only in one piece, but she actually looked more polished up than when she left.

"Eva, way to go not killing her," Chris congratulated the fitness buff, who grunted and shrugged.

DJ came back alone, looking upset. When the campers asked him where Noah was, the bookworm came walking down the beach, still wet and quite tired.

"It's a long story," he said to silence their questions. "So I'm gonna write about it, and you all can get a copy."

Cody and Beth came to camp next, and it took an extra half-hour for the last couple, Duncan and Leshawna, to finally arrive. The two were a terrible mess, both dirty, scratched up, and he had a black eye.

"Ooo, too bad, you two," Chris said, as happy as a kid receiving a present. He flipped a coin and then looked at Leshawna. "Sorry, sister, but you're out."

"That's fine by me," she shouted as she used her key to unchain herself. "I won't stand being chained to this unprincipled moron for any longer!"

"Suits me fine too, you probably need to go back to your fantasy novels," Duncan shouted back as Leshawna stormed away.

"Duncan," Courtney hissed at him when he made a face behind Leshawna's back, "what did you say to her?"

"Just that it's weird for her to be dating a nerd when she's this sister of the streets."

"Look, normally I would agree but we're trying to win a challen-"

"Hey," Gwen shouted, "what's wrong with her dating Harold, huh? Just because he's different, he can't date her or something?"

Chris loudly cleared his throat. "Okay people, settle down. We can discuss strange couples later. Right now, we need to focus on getting some of you eliminated! We still have a ton of ideas!"

* * *

Izzy and Katie, the former laughing and the latter screaming, ran from a furious moose. Cody and Beth were also running, but were rammed from behind.

Harold and Gwen, chained to the ankle, were logrolling as alligators chased them. Heather, still chained to Eva, was screaming as she ran, her make-up began to run and looking freaky as her sweat made her skin look dual-colored.

Bridgette and Ezekiel clung to each other as they were balancing on a thin post over a pit of snakes. DJ, now chained to Izzy, had climbed up on the redhead's back and shivered in fear; the crazy girl was having a hard time holding him up while staying balanced.

* * *

After those dangerous challenges, most of the campers looked pretty bad. Major Ownage looked the worst. Heather, with ragged hair and smeared make-up and baggy eyes, was hunched over. Eva, scratched and bruised, tried to stand up straight with her arms crossed. Duncan stood nearby them, nursing his eye with an ice pack.

The 2 Gs looked worn out. In fact, Ezekiel was hardly able to stand on his feet while Bridgette held him up. A very muddy Beth stood next to them.

Mad Crazy Skillz looked fine compared to them, especially since Izzy, muddy with her hair and clothes messed up, was beaming as if this was her birthday. Harold and Gwen, though looking tired, still looked ready for more.

"Okay campers," Chris said, tapping his foot. "You guys are way tougher than I thought. You always manage to astonish me on how hard you'll try."

Owen applauded giddily, Chef clapping as well. The eliminated campers looked earnestly at their teammates.

"With three left on each team, we've decided to leave it down to one challenge," Chris said. "Once a team is eliminated, we will begin the invincibility challenge. Then... the marshmallow ceremony!"

"What's the challenge?" Gwen asked. Chris's smirk went deeper, and the nine remaining contestants looked very nervous.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Are places like this phony?)**

Gwen - "I hate it when he does that."

Bridgette - "If Chris worked retail, he'd be the Nazi manager that everyone hates."

Izzy - \squeals\ "More fun! I hope this excitement never stops!"

* * *

**Continued in Part 3, the Immunity Challenge and the marshmallow ceremony!**

* * *

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'Flirting with the Succubus' is not a real band, in case you were wondering.

Part 3 will be coming shortly. Also, if you don't know by now, the official blog for Total Drama Island / Action has announced that the next season will have Chris, Chef, fifteen of the original characters, and, unfortunately, no new characters.

The following characters look to be the main characters for Total Drama Action:

**Courtney, Heather, Lindsay, Harold, Duncan, Gwen, Owen, Leshawna, Trent, Geoff, Bridgette, Justin, DJ, Izzy, **and **Beth**.


	14. Day 4, Part 3: Pwn'ed

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you are allergic to raccoons, I apologize for any rashes you got in the last chapter.

**Author's Needless Note** - This is actually the shortest chapter I have written, and that amazes me. And no, I'm not writing this to increase the word count, shush!

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* * *

**Chapter 14 (Day 04, Part 3)** - Save the Last Marshmallow for Me

--

The nine campers were astonished to see six platforms lined up, divided by some space to resemble three pairs of the machines. Three giant arcade screen stood in front of the three platform pairs, and funky, bright colors shone from the screen.

Beth walked over to the metal platforms, observing the arrows on the four sides that pointed in the general direction. She almost squealed in joy. "So our final challenge is going to be DD-"

"That is correct, Beth," Chris shouted, raising his arms in a dramatic production. "Chained at the wrist with your partner, you will be play Dance Dance Rebellion!"

Beth tugged on his sleeve. "Chrith? It's called Dance Dance Rev-"

Chris slapped his hand over her mouth. "Shhhhh! We didn't get the rights!"

Gwen stared at Chris. "How can you win this?"

"Well, you get a score at the end of the song," Chris explained, standing on the platforms now. "The team with the lowest score is going to lose a random member! That'll be based not on luck, but which of you two gets the lowest score."

Ezekiel, who was sitting down from exhaustion, looked up with bleary eyes. "How do you play, eh?"

Chris stared at him. "Zeke dude, you never played Dance Dance Rebellion?"

"Nope."

The host laughed and slapped his knee. "Bridgette, I hope you don't kill him!" 

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Can Can Revolution!)**

Bridgette - "I've done this game some times when hanging out with my friends. I'm not very good, as you all might guess. But the thing is, when you're dancing as fast as that game wants you to, your arms go flying around."

Beth - "I love this game! I love playing it and trying to beat my high thcore!"

Heather - \angry stare\ "I don't play hip-hop games wearing heels."

* * *

"Are you guys ready?" Chris asked.

Heather and Eva stared at each other, the fitness buff glaring at the queen bee, daring her silently to screw this up. Bridgette shook Ezekiel, trying to get the prairie boy to snap to attention. Harold and Gwen exchanged a high-five, both of them confident in their abilities.

"Start dancing, you fools," the host shouted.

The first song began to play. Ezekiel, who had received a quick review of the game by Beth, was stomping hard on the arrows. He was frustrated when mean things like 'Oops,' 'Bad,' and 'Are you drunk?' appeared on the screen.

Eva and Heather were doing alright, though Heather was not scoring because she was desperately trying not to fall while dancing in high heels. Gwen and Harold were dancing away as if they were born on the platform.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Up, Down, Left, Right, repeat.)**

Harold - "I play this game almost every day for my exercise. Keeps me fit and annoys my sister because she hates the songs I like to dance to the most."

Gwen - "My brother likes this game, and so I played it with him a lot. He thought it was a great way to meet girls, and I gotta say, I think he's right. Girls seem to love this game, and guys... like to watch girls play it."

* * *

Bridgette jerked her arm when she had to leap towards the arrow furthest from Ezekiel, and he fell down onto her platform. She desperately tried to get the prairie boy back on his feet, but he was so zonked that he couldn't bring himself to get up off her up and left arrow.

Heather also went down when Eva swung her arm to keep in tempo. The queen bee angrily pulled herself up, tilting Eva off-balance and making her miss some of her arrows.

At the end of the song, Bridgette and Ezekiel had lost by a great deal, Harold and Gwen won with a huge lead. Prairie boy was babbling about how nice this metal bed was, how the left arrow made his spine feel comfortable, and how he'd never get near this game again, eh.

After Owen unlocked Ezekiel and dragged the poor boy off the Dance Dance Revolution stages, Chris was tsk tsk'ing him. "Shameful, Ezekiel. You really let a lot of people down by your performance." 

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Objection!)**

Ezekiel - \scratching the back of his head\ "That was kind of harsh, eh."

Bridgette - "What was that all about? Zeke did pretty well up until now, why did Chris act like he let him down or something?"

Chef - \He is waving fifty dollars amount of bills in front of the camera, grinning wickedly.\ "Way to endure not hitting on the girl, prairie boy!"

* * *

Beth was happily locked to the blond surfer. "You ready, Bridgette?" she asked, grinning ear to ear.

The surfer looked apprehensive for two reasons. One, she wasn't good at this game to begin with, and two, she didn't even know Beth, despite them being fellow contestants.

The shorter girl gave Bridgette's hand a squeeze. "Don't worry, Bridgette, thith will be easthy! Tho long as we work together on thith and do a decent job, we can outlatht Heather and Eva! Juthst truthst me, and I'll truthst you!"

Both reasons for concern were gone with Bridgette, and she smiled back.

The second song started, and Beth could not have been more right. While Bridgette may have tipped the shorter girl a few times and both caused each other to miss a few steps, they weren't as bad as Heather and Eva. The fitness buff looked ready to tear her partner apart when she fell down for the third time.

"I barely pulled you," Eva shouted, stomping her foot in frustration (earning a perfect on that step without meaning to).

"Well if you weren't thrashing around like a gorilla, I might be to stand up!"

Eva's last nerve, which seemed to be her first too, was shot. She leapt at Heather and started wrestling the girl furiously. Though they coincidentally hit a few right steps on their platforms by the rolling and flailing arms, they lost the dance round so bad that Beth and Bridgette's score was more than four times greater.

"Okay, after that little fight," Chris said as Owen held Eva and Heather up to keep them from hurting each other more, "I think we are all highly amused and wish we could see more."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's like reality on Heavy.)**

Gwen - "I hate to say it, but I agree with Chris here. Nothing pleases me more than seeing Heather get her butt kicked by the best butt kicker this damn island has."

* * *

Heather was unchained from Eva and Duncan was paired up with the aggressive athlete. Courtney wouldn't say it, but her nervous stare and her knuckles up to her mouth gave away her terror.

"Worried about your man, huh?" Leshawna asked with a sly smile.

"What? N-no! I'm worried about the challenge," she stammered. "He's not my man!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Worried about Duncan too.)**

Leshawna - \smirking\ "He is _so_ her man."

* * *

Harold and Gwen were getting awfully sweaty, and the brunette nerd was complaining that his heart was beating funny. The goth girl listened to it by putting her ear to his chest, and said nothing was wrong.

So the third dance began. Eva and Duncan focused more concentration on who was in control of their forced alliance, because they kept jerking their cufflinks towards themselves. Bridgette slipped up a few times, while Harold had to stop for a few seconds because his exhaustion was catching up with him.

When the song was finally over, Eva and Duncan began to seriously fight over who had domination of their chain. So they didn't see that they had scored the least amount of points.

Bridgette and Beth cheered and hugged each other tight. Harold and Gwen high-fived. The 2 Gs and Mad Crazy Skillz burst into cheers, jumping and throwing their hands into the air in celebration.

"Duncan, is it too much to ask that you get along with _any_ of your partners?" Courtney shouted; however, the punk was far too busy struggling with Eva.

"So there are the results," Chris shouted. "Major Ownage has lost," the host slapped his forehead and sighed. The better hearing of the campers heard him mutter, "Another twenty-five dollars gone...

"The 2 Gs get second place, which means no reward, just that they are safe for tonight. Mad Crazy Skillz, you all get to enjoy an all-you-can-eat buffet of Chinese food!"

With happy squeals from Izzy and Katie, and cheers from the others, the winning team rushed to the cafeteria.

"Now for Major Ownage and the 2 Gs," Chris said, turning to the other teams, "you twelve are going to compete in the contest that we call When the Hay Hits You!

"You all will be trying to hold mattresses that Chef and Owen will be stacking on top of you. The last one standing on the 2 Gs will be joining their buffet! The winner of Major Ownage also gets to join them, and gets immunity! Any questions?"

"Yes," Heather asked. "Why did you pick an immunity challenge only _she_," she jerked her thumb at Eva, "can win?"

"And why mattresses?" Cody asked.

"About Cody's question, when you finally collapse, we wanted something that wouldn't crush you to death when you caved in," Chris answered. "About Heather's question, there are several ways to eliminate someone else.

"First off, if you are eliminated, you get to choose who gets your original mattresses you had stacked up. All on one, or one for all, if you please. Second, you can try and knock the mattresses off your opponents by ramming them with yours!

"Sound fair enough now?"

With no more complaints, Chris escorted them to a very large pile of mattresses. Owen and Chef were already holding a mattress each, smiling at the contestants (Owen's was friendly, Chef looked like he was hoping that mattresses could crush).

Once the twelve participants were holding a mattress over their head, Chris looked around at them. "Looking good everyone."

Right after the words left his mouth, Lindsay let out a defeated moan and fell down, the mattress falling on her. Tyler, who had been watching, screamed in terror and ran over to save his girlfriend. He flung the mattress off her, hitting Trent in the stomach and knocking the musician over; luckily, he managed to fall right on his own mattress, so it was a comfortable fall.

"Lindsay, are you alright?" Tyler asked her desperately.

Batting her eyes, the blond bombshell looked up at him and cooed. "You saved me," she said, and gave him a big kiss.

"Well, two are already out," Chris announced, though everyone had seen what had happened. "Trent, any preference on who gets yours?"

"No man, I don't like to spite people," Trent replied with a shrug.

"Linds-" Chris started, then saw she was making out with Tyler on her mattress. "Never mind then. Time to increase the dosage!"

Chef and Owen added a second mattress to everyone's stack. When no one buckled, they added a third.

Beth fell over backwards when she lost her balance; all three of her mattresses went to Heather, who buckled and collapsed with seven over her. With a furious glare at Beth, Heather asked her three mattresses go to Eva. The fitness buff didn't even seem to notice when she had three added to her stack.

Cody had his knees locked together, sweat streaming down his forehead. Ezekiel was wobbling like an unsteady drunk.

A fourth mattress was added, and most of the contestants were getting weighted down. Cody decided to go out with a bang and rammed Duncan's stack with his own, sending the eight mattresses flying and the two boys to the ground.

"That was uncalled for, you little twerp," the punk yelled at Cody. He pulled back his fist, and Cody ran for his life.

"Duncan," Courtney shouted at him, glaring in her usual fashion, "what is up with you? Threatening to hit people?"

"Oh, save it, princess!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We want to buy a mattress.)**

Duncan - "Yeah, I am quite temperamental these days, I guess it shows. But it's mainly because Courtney is barely giving me the time of day. While all the other couples are hugging and kissing and all those other loving things, Courtney looks like she's seeing red whenever I'm near her. What guy wouldn't be frustrated by that?"

* * *

Duncan stormed off, grumbling to himself. Cody didn't want to add his mattresses, and the criminal hadn't made a request before he left.

Courtney sighed and shook her head. If she had been paying attention, she would have noticed Ezekiel struggling for balance behind her.

"Put on the fifth mattress," Chris called out to his assistants.

Using ladders, Owen and Chef carried up another mattress and stacked it up on the remaining campers. For the wobbling Ezekiel, Chef just tossed one on top.

Ezekiel finally lost all his balance and fell backwards. His mattresses hit Courtney's, knocking over the CIT's stack. She herself was blanketed by mattresses (oh, the irony).

She emerged with a furious shout. When she turned to see who did it, Ezekiel nervously waved and smiled innocently.

"Bridgette, since you're the last of the 2 Gs, go enjoy the Chinese food," Chris said, clapping. "I know you're a vegetarian, but they have lots of greens and rice there." The surfer girl let out a loud cheer and hurried over to the cafeteria. Courtney's furious glare followed her, just mad at everyone now.

"Courtney," the host turned to her, "anyone you want to put your five ma-"

"Just put them on, I don't know, Leshawna," she shouted.

The large sister's eyes bulged as she watched Chef pick up the five mattresses with one arm, climb the ladder, then dropped them on her stack. With ten mattresses, she collapsed and was pinned under the stack.

As Ezekiel and Owen pushed the mattresses off Leshawna, Eva and Justin exchanged determined glances. The male model grinned, and Eva felt her knees start to buckle.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Mattress with D's would be a Mad Dress.)**

Eva - "I couldn't let that gorgeous man defeat me. So long as I didn't look at him, I could determine. But as we all know, ignoring that big slab of man is much easier said than done."

* * *

Eva was straining to keep her head looking away from Justin, like if someone was physically trying to pull her to look. The model took this chance to bash her stack of mattresses with his. She reeled back, nearly losing her balance. With incredible strength and agility, she managed to recover from this.

It was a face-off now. Eva and Justin locked eyes, determined scowls on their faces. With a battle cry from Eva and a silent yell from Justin, the two barreled at each other with mattress battering rams prepared for impact.

When the two collided, Justin's mattresses flew back, as did their holder. Eva watched as Justin rolled backwards as his stack scattered all around him.

"The winner of Major Ownage is Eva," Chris shouted. "Go enjoy some Chinese food, girl!"

Letting out a wild cheer, Eva tossed her mattresses in the air. As she ran off to the cafeteria, the rectangular comforters landed on Owen, Chef, and Chris.

* * *

The eight winners of the Chinese food buffet were happily gorging themselves. As Noah and DJ blabbered on more about War of Prism, the football player fed Bunny some of the greens. Gwen was not good with chop sticks, but Harold managed to teach her.

Izzy talked to Katie about the time she tracked a panda, and when it was ambushed by poachers, she killed them; the BFFF nodded a great deal of times as she drank her soup. Bridgette was enjoying rice as Eva ate as much orange chicken as she could.

"Think that we'll get fortune cookies," Bridgette asked as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"We'd better," Eva remarked. "It's a crime to not get fortune cookies with a Chinese meal without them."

"Well said," Noah agreed, lifting his glass of soda in agreement.

"I'll go to the kitchen and see if Chef has them back there," the blond surfer said.

When she entered the kitchen, the last person she expected to see was Ezekiel. The prairie boy was wearing a stained apron as he washed dishes.

"Hello, prize winner," he said to Bridgette as she answered. "Whacha doing back here, eh?"

"Just... seeing if you have fortune cookies," the surfer replied, looking at his apron with a bemused expression.

Ezekiel pointed out the box of fortune cookies to her. As she lifted it up and put it on the table, Tyler came in through the back door.

"Yo, Zeke," Tyler whispered to him. He rolled into the room, as if on a stealth mission, and bumped into the table leg. Rubbing his head, he peeped out over the top, looked around, and continued his whispering. "Think you can sneak some fortune cookies for the rest of us? We all really could use one."

The prairie boy gestured to the box of fate-predicting snacks, and Tyler greedily grabbed two fistfuls. "Thanks! You're the best! But man... why are you wearing an apron?"

"Just helping Chef with the dishes, eh," his friend replied as he scrubbed at a plate.

"Awww, it's not women's work to do the stuff in the kitchen?" Bridgette asked him, smirking.

Ezekiel turned around to her. "When both your parents are economic teachers, you learn how to do all the 'women's work' yourself."

"Fair enough," Bridgette said, chuckling. "Say, Zeke, you promised me you'd tell me what changed your attitude if we didn't lose."

The prairie boy stopped scrubbing the plate, then nodded slowly. "Yeah, I did, eh. Guess now is a better time to tell you."

Tyler looked around nervously. "Um, should I go?"

"You don't have to, Tyler. In fact, I wanted to tell you this too," Ezekiel said. He put the dish in the sink, then turned to them.

"When I got back from Total Drama Island, it turns out my mom and dad were being treated to some terrible backlash that should have been for me, eh. They were getting swamped by mails, e-mails, and by people shouting at them when they went to work, all of them spitting furious aboo't me, eh."

He brushed his toque up, and sighed. "I really wish I knew the impact of my words, because I wasn't the one suffering from them. My parents both almost lost their jobs because the school board was getting so many calls, complaining that if they raised an ignorant sexist like me, they weren't fit to teach other kids.

"Luckily, they still have their jobs. But they had to change their e-mail three times, and had to throw all these angry letters away. All of them pissed off like if the world's proo'blems were based on what I had said on that first day of TDI, eh."

He rolled his eyes, then shook his head. "Well, I was mad at first, with all these little excuses. Like 'only people with no lives write letters to complain about reality TV' and other things. Then my dad came back with his car vandalized, and..."

Ezekiel looked down at his empty hands and took a deep breath. "He burst into tears. He kept saying to my mom about how he failed as a father, how he brought this upon us. I never... I know this is stupid to say, but I didn't even know men cried... especially not like he did.

"I actually took some of those angry letters and read some of them. Some were... well, pretty violent. It was like being throttled by Eva, but with words, eh."

Tyler chuckled weakly, then looked apologetic. "Sorry dude... go on."

"It's okay. Well, one letter I read was from this woman who didn't... she didn't even sound mad. She just wanted to say that she had served in the army for several years, that she had been injured in combat, but carried on. A boo'let wound in the shoulder, and she still wanted to keep fighting, eh.

"After that, and well, after seeing girls like Eva and Gwen and Bridgette compete, I knew I had been wrong. I had based my opinion off TV shows, and my parents took the blow for it."

Too upset to face his friends anymore, he turned around and stared down at the sink full of dirty water and dishes. He wiped his eyes with his hand, trying to remove the starting of tears. "That's why I didn't want to come back here. I was afraid I would do something stupid again, and my parents might end up losing their jobs or woor'se. I couldn't take it if they did."

He leaned against the counter, staring off into space, when someone put their hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he found himself staring at Bridgette's green eyes.

"That does explain a lot," she said. She then hugged him, to his surprise.

Tyler clapped him on the back, knocking some of the fortune cookies out of his arms. "You're a cool guy, Zeke. The people who saw you last season will be seeing how you've changed. And it will all be cool in the end."

"And who knows?" Bridgette said to him. "Maybe you'll be one of the two winners this time."

Ezekiel chuckled, feeling his sorrow leave him. "That would be cool, eh."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - \blows nose with a kleenex\)**

Ezekiel - "It's so great having friends like Bridgette and Tyler, eh."

Tyler - \still holding some fortune cookies\ "Zeke sure turned out to be quite cool, dudes. But seriously, I think he is right when he said only morons write in to complain about people on reality shows."

* * *

Courtney brushed her hair from her eyes. "So we're all agreed? We're voting off Leshawna?"

Heather nodded, while Duncan shrugged. The three had met in the girls' side of the Killer Bass. The punk looked over at Courtney and asked, "Why her, anyway?"

"Because she's dating Harold, and she's a strong competitor who doesn't work well with us," the CIT replied. She scowled at Duncan and continued. "I would think you would want this most. Harold voted me off, so it's only fitting you vote Leshawna off."

Duncan sighed, rubbing his eyebrow piercing in thought. "Wouldn't it be better to vote off Justin? I mean, he's strong and distracting."

Heather shook her head as Courtney let out an aggravated sigh. The ravenhair managed to speak first when she said, "You are the one who wasn't getting along with Leshawna, Duncan. It would be best for you if you vote that nerd-dating sister off. Your words, by the way."

The criminal didn't want to admit it, but he had been regretting that ever since he said it. He didn't dare admit it, especially in front of Heather. Maybe if he got some time alone with Courtney, but the CIT had been avoiding him.

"Fine, but three is only good enough for a tie," he said.

"I've talked to Justin," Courtney replied. "He agreed to vote for Leshawna if we don't vote for him the next two challenges."

"That's reasonable for now, I guess," Heather said. "So long as he's voting for us, and looking handsome too, I'm okay with keeping him."

Duncan was stunned. "He _talks_?"

"Of course he does," Courtney replied. "Just that most people don't talk to him, they just look at him."

The punk sighed, then shrugged. "Alright then."

He looked out the window, and saw Harold meeting Leshawna right in the middle of the campgrounds. The brunette nerd had brought her a great deal of leftovers in a take-out tray. Leshawna gasped in joy, then hugged him.

Duncan knew he was going to regret this.

* * *

"I have five marshmallows here," Chris said, placing a plate with those said treats on the oil drum in front of him. The bonfire roared in front of him, and several campers had fleeting thoughts that he was connected to Satan then.

"Five marshmallows, five people who are staying. One non-marshmallow, one person not going to be here anymore. Who is it, out of these six campers?"

The campers watching on the side looked over the six unfortunate contestants. Several of them, like Beth and Ezekiel and Gwen, were glaring at Heather.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Under 10 minutes, so it'll fit on YouTube.)**

Gwen - "Heather is finally going down!"

Ezekiel - "There is no way that they'd vote for anyone else, eh!"

Beth - "Thith will be a great comeuppance!"

Heather - \paints her nails then blows on them\ "I cannot wait to see the look on their stupid faces."

* * *

"The first one goes to our invincibility winner," Chris announced, tossing one to Eva. "Not bad, girl."

Eva grumbled a thanks as he chomped on the marshmallow. She shot a glare at Heather before heading over to the other campers.

"The next marshmallows go to... Justin! Courtney! Duncan!"

The three caught their marshmallows and walked over to the others. Leshawna and Heather exchanged glances, both looking confident.

"Campers... Leshawna... Heather," the handsome host said as he tapped the plate, "this... is the final marshmallow of the night."

Harold was looking far more worried than his girlfriend. Gwen was glaring daggers at Heather. Leshawna and Heather turned to look at each other, and they both began smirking haughtily at each other; their eyes intensified with every second.

"The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Heather."

When her name was called, most everyone couldn't believe it. It slowly dawned on them as Heather caught her marshmallow, then bit it right in Leshawna's face.

"Too bad, Leshawna," she sang, her voice thick with haughtiness.

The street sister slumped, her look now incredulous, darting from that marshmallow to Heather to Chris.

"Sorry, dudette, you're out," Chris said with a sympathetic frown.

"This can't be," Gwen shouted as she clutched her forehead. She whirled on the other campers who had just received marshmallows. "How could you people vote off Leshawna when _Heather_ was there?"

Courtney shrugged. She saw Harold fall on his knees, and used all of her willpower to hold back the smile.

* * *

Harold was hugging Leshawna tight when she started to walk the Dock of Shame. "I'm gonna miss you so much," he said, his voice ragged with sorrow.

"Baby, I'll be missing you just as much," she replied. Letting go of her suitcase, she grabbed him and gave him a big kiss.

When she parted, she came face to face with Duncan. The punk sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry about those stupid things I said in the forest about you and Harold," he said quietly. "It was uncalled for."

Leshawna raised her fist, and Duncan winced, ready for the hit.

"Hey, fool, I ain't gonna hit ya," Leshawna said with a small laugh. They exchanged a fist bump. "Takes a real man to apologize, and I accept yours."

With a sad wave, she walked down the Dock of Shame and boarded the Boat of Losers. She waved with both her arms as the boat slowly departed. "Bye, Harold babe, I'll be thinking about you! Bye, Gwen, Lindsay, all y'all!"

"Bye, La... Leshawna," Lindsay stammered.

The street sister let out a loud cheer. "You remembered my name at long last, sister! I don't feel that bad anymore!

"Kick Heather's permed butt for me," was the last thing they heard her say before she was out of hearing range, and that was a far range for Leshawna.

Harold let out a long sigh, hang hanging miserably. DJ wrapped his arm around his friend in comfort as they walked back to the Killer Bass cabin.

Courtney watched as Harold and DJ passed by her. She smirked this time, though no one saw her, as she popped the rest of her marshmallow in her mouth.

* * *

Gwen was back in the girls' side of the Screaming Gopher cabin. She was about to get into bed when she saw something. It was the tray of Chinese food that Harold had saved for Leshawna. She almost teared up, but turned her feelings into frustration and she slammed her fists against the cabin wall; she greatly startled Cody, who was reading, and he fell off the bed.

"We had the chance to lose Heather," she snarled. "How could they vote off Leshawna instead? _Why_?!"

* * *

**Duncan** - Leshawna.

**Eva** - Heather.

**Heather** - Leshawna.

**Leshawna** - Heather.

**Justin** - Leshawna.

**Courtney** - Leshawna.

--

Leshawna - 4.

Heather - 2.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna.

* * *

--

--

--

As another merciless, marshmallow ceremony comes to close, I'd like to thank all of you reviewing for your incredible comments. Your support and ideas keep this story going, I kid you not.

Sorry that Heather remains victorious again. But hey, a good series has to have a great villain, someone you really detest. Conflict makes a story.

About Courtney and Duncan, they're not villains no matter how vengeful Courtney may be. I like the pairing, mainly because Duncan is a sweetie under that predator shell, and Courtney is a predator underneath that sweetie shell.

Heather's Victory Theme - Snake's Victory Theme, from Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

A few comments to some of the readers who's comments caught my attention:

**Nobodies Have Hearts** - Yeah, it's a shame. Maybe it's because they lost the voice actor who does Cody, because the characters that the VA does as well as Cody aren't returning as well.

**SSBFreak** - Katie's crush will be revealed eventually, just cannot say when. Hehe.

**FlamingFoxwolf** - Whoa, roller derby looks wild. Don't know how I can tie that into the TDI-theme, but I might try something that's a twist on it when I'm running low on ideas.

**Imagi** - Whoa... you aren't happy by the time you're done with this chapter, are you? Don't take this the wrong way, but your anger makes me proud, because I know I have captured the meanness incarnate that is Heather correctly.

The next chapter will be up shortly, as fast as I can write. To give you all an evil hint about the theme of the challenge, let me just say this: Harold has the most experience. \wicked laughter\


	15. Day 5, Part 1: Wawanakwa Blade Warriors

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. I'll keep updating, because I'm not yet dead.

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**SSBFreak** - Yep, Chef is warming up to those that win him money! Hehe.

**tdiluvr** - Cynical is basically sarcastic, but with the feeling that since all human beings are greedy and pitiful, there's no reason to have faith in them. Noah during TDI can be described best as cynical. "What can I say? _Weak_ effort."

**Dementous** - I actually have something like that planned, just not saying who or what or why or how or... well, maybe I said too much already. May the undead force be with you too.

**Imagi** - Wow, you really don't like her. Watch and wait, loyal reader. \evil smirk\

**Everyone Else** - Thanks for your continued support! \does the 'hang loose' hand sign\ I keep this story going for your comments! You are too kind.

--

And now, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... it was time to group everyone up with handcuffs once again, because we do enjoy making our campers suffer. While being chained to someone like Izzy, Eva, or Duncan might be a hell on earth, some campers actually formed new friendships.

Split into three teams, the kids with the incredible skills won due to Harold, Gwen, and Izzy being such interesting and hardy contestants. Though not all were happy (like me, I lost three-quarters of a hundred bucks, dude!), the winners got to enjoy Chinese food.

Courtney's alliance with Heather and Duncan has provoked another tragic stab to a lover's heart, as Leshawna was voted off. Most everyone was startled by this, especially poor Harold.

Every camper voted off has been a heartbreak for another one. Will the next voting be a surprise attack? Will you not see it coming, or will you be prepared for the assault? And what was I going to say at the end of this sen-

\He is cut off, as a ninja leaps from underneath the dock and wrestles with him. After a ball of dust and stars, the ninja lays unconscious.\

... Wow, that was close! Find out today on Total! ... Drama! ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song..._)

* * *

_To my sensei, I'm doing great_

_Slayin' evil demons of hate_

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

_but sadly, I've been sworn to secrecy:_

_I wanna be... a ninja!_

_I wanna sharpen a katana blade_

_And you can't see me hidden in the shade!_

_Whirling numchucks, and the black array_

_Throwing stars a-waaaaay!_

_'cause I wanna be... a ninja!_

_(Wah-cha-cha-cha-waaah!) x 3_

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be ninja!!_

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be ninja!!_

(sound of a katana blade being unsheathed, and the theme ends)

* * *

**Chapter 15 (Day 05, Part 1)** - Haruto, the Awesome Ninja

--

The Killer Bass's table in the cafeteria was a moody place thanks to three depressed individuals. Katie was relentlessly stirring the slop that was supposed to be breakfast. Bridgette was slumped on the table, her head in her arms. Harold was playing with his food, and Eva noticed that his slop was being shaped in the form of Leshawna's face.

The Screaming Gophers wasn't much better, just more hostile. Gwen kept shooting Heather hateful daggers whenever her eyes came across Leshawna's empty seat.

"Campers," Chris said as he stood in front of the two tables. He stopped when he saw the upset faces. "Why are you all so glum?"

"I miss Sadie," said Katie.

"I miss Leshawna," said Harold.

"I miss Geoff," said Bridgette.

"I miss real food," said Noah.

A low growling from the kitchen signaled Chef's anger towards Noah's remark. But instead of looking horrified and apologizing quickly, the egghead shouted, "Yeah, I said it, I'll say it again if I have to! Your food, if it can be called that, is lame to the extr-ame!"

Chef's reply was to throw a handful of the twitching, red, nondescript food in Noah's face. The bookworm blinked, then turned away from the kitchen. "I went too far, didn't I?"

"Dude, you should know better than now," Trent remarked.

"Someone's going to have to break it to the big guy that his cooking is awful," Noah replied. "For that, I nominate one of you."

"No time to mourn those who have passed on," Chris shouted, upset that the camera wasn't on him. "It's time for the next challenge!"

The lights suddenly went out, and black drapes came down over the windows, blocking all light. The campers looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Hohhhhh... it is time... to unleash your skills, young ones," Chris spoke in the darkness. He had adopted the worst stereotypical Chinese accent that the campers had ever heard. "And you all... will... _par_-ticipate in this... _deadly_ game of blades and steel! For _tonight_! Your honor is as stake, as well as you leaving this island... of _destiny_!"

His speech in the dark was interrupted when a loud fart echoed around the room, then there was a ground-shaking crash. Owen's voice, as well as his smell, could be recognized by the campers.

"Ow! I landed right on my sword's handle!"

The lights came back on, and the campers saw Owen, laying on his stomach and dressed in a black ninja costume, had crash-landed in-between the two tables. A rope waved above him, and some swore they could see the noxious fumes of his flatulence.

"Way to kill the mood, young Owen," Chris spat. The host was also wearing a black costume similar to Owen's.

"What is going on here?" Heather demanded to know. "Why are two dressed like something out of Harold's geeky stories?"

"They're not just stories," Harold shot back at her, adding an, "_Idiot_," under his breath.

"Campers, it has been called to my attention that you haven't been given every privilege that real campers have experienced," Chris said. "You've had all kinds of activities, fun and/or dangerous. But you've never experienced a larp, as many camps do!"

"A what?" Gwen asked.

"It's 'live action role-playing'," Cody informed her, a big grin on his face.

"Oh, _hell_ no," Heather shouted, gripping her hair and looking close to tearing it out. "Chris, you're dragging us into the nauseating world of Cody and Harold, where we act like elves and dragons?"

"Nope," Chris said, shaking his head. He unsheathed a fake sword and swung it around dramatically. "You are going to be having a _ninja_ larp!"

"This is making me sick," Courtney groaned.

Chris chuckled and spun his sword around in his hand. "Trust me, folks, this is going to be quite the experience. Mainly because of the little twists we've thought of.

"First off, let me announce the teams and the three captains! Now, each team will-"

"Wait wait," Courtney shouted, waving her hands around. "What do you mean by that? We don't get to pick who leads?"

"Nope! This time, you'll obey who I think would be most suiting for leadership," Chris replied.

The CIT flopped back in her chair, grumbling some nasty things. Duncan smirked and patted her shoulder. "You could do without the burden of leadership for once, princess."

"If that's supposed to comfort me, it didn't."

"The first clan is the Bloody Water clan, the guardians of red and blue," Chris exclaimed, holding up a headband with long bangs. "The leader of this clan is... Harold!"

As he tossed the headband to the proclaimed leader, Harold and Courtney gasped for different reasons. The nerd was happily putting it on as the CIT was shouting, "You picked _him_ to lead?"

"Oh, will you chill out already?" Duncan snapped at her, though he was smirking. She had on that cute expression of anger that he loved to see.

"Courtney, please don't start a fight over this," Bridgette pleaded with her friend.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Many like it, but this one is yours.)**

Bridgette - "Courtney goes off like a rocket whenever Harold comes into the scene. It's starting to really worry me, that she might be letting her anger control her."

Harold - \He is wearing his red-and-blue headband.\ "I think it's still too early to apologize to Courtney. When I said 'good morning' to her today, she... um... said something I'd rather not repeat. But it was \**bleeeeeeee-eeeee-eeeeeep**\."

* * *

"Harold, master of the Bloody Water clan, your fellow ninjas will be those who wear red and blue," Chris continued. "Bridgette of the Blue Jacket, Noah of the Red 'n Blue Sweater Vest, Lindsay of the Blue Hair Piece, Eva of the Dark Blue Sports Outfit, and Tyler of the Red Sports Outfit!"

Tyler looked down at the Hawaiian shirt and jeans he was wearing instead of what he wore the first season, and shrugged.

"The second clan are the Earth Spirits, guardians of green and brown. And most fitting for a crazy ninja title will be... Izzy!"

The redhead let out a massive cheer as she snatched the long headband in midair. She cracked it like a whip, nearly hitting Katie and DJ. Then she tied it on, still cackling.

"Those serving under your wild and crazy leader will be...," Chris started, and some of the campers crossed their fingers in hopes _not_ to be picked.

"DJ of the Green 'D' Jersey, Ezekiel of the Green Jacket, Trent of the Green Camo Shirt, Beth of the Green Blouse, and Justin of the Rippable Green Shirt!"

Izzy whipped around at Justin and growled. The male model shrunk back a little, then shrugged.

"The third and final clan are the Midnight's Glare ninjas, guardians of black and white! Leader will be..."

Duncan looked down at his black shirt and smiled confidentially. Courtney looked torn, wanting to lead but not wanting to be a part of this.

"Cody, our biggest celebrity!"

Most of the campers gasped as Cody caught the white and black headband. Courtney looked like someone kicked her in the teeth, as did Duncan. The geek stared at the headband before squeaking out, "Me?"

"He doesn't even want it," Courtney shouted.

"Is everything a fight with you?" Katie asked her, receiving a very hostile glare from the CIT that made the BFFF reel back in fright.

"I'm cool," Cody said as he tied the headband on. "I will lead Midnight's Glare to glorious and bloody victory!"

"Well said, Cody," Chris cheered him on. "Joining you will be Duncan of the Black Skull Shirt, Katie of the Zebra-Stripe Top, Heather the Ravenhair, Gwen the Dark Goth, and Courtney of the Gray Blouse!"

Gwen and Heather exchanged nasty glares, as Courtney continued to fume and cast some glares of her own at Cody.

"Everyone outside for instructions on how this ninja larp is going to go," Chris instructed them.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Larp'ing as a confession booth.)**

Cody - \His hair is pitch black, and has his bangs partially over his eyes.\ "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I know everyone thinks I'm a major geek, but I've never had the pleasure of being in a larp! This is going to be _so_ much fun! And I'm in control! I hope I can win this!"

Izzy - \Her hair is bright pink, and she is wearing tall, gray, open-toe boots.\ "I always wanted to be a ninja. I have the martial arts training, and there are so many evil demons and monsters to kill! Maybe I can interrogate someone about Geoff being voted off, or those illegal jellybeans that I haven't been keeping track of!"

Harold - \His hair is spiked up, and is wearing an orange jacket.\ "This is my chance to prove my worth! I cannot wait to match wits with gonzo Izzy and crafty Cody! But I will prevail, because I am Harold, the _Awesome_ Ninja!"

* * *

"The rules are quite simple," the handsome host said to the campers once they were all organized outside. "You will be going into the forest, and will be hunting down the other ninjas from the other two teams! All of your swords are going to activated when you go out into the forest."

" 'Activated'?" Cody asked, looking at his katana blade. Like all the others, it wasn't a real sword but the handle was plastic and the "blade" was a dull metal with no edge.

"Yes, you see, all the swords will have an electric charge going through the blade," Chris explained. "If they come in contact with someone, they'll be stunned for a seconds by an electric shock."

Some of the campers winced at the thought of this. "Don't worry, it's not lethal in any way," Chris assured them. "We tested it on Owen, and he's fine!"

Owen nodded. "I could hold a light bulb in my mouth and keep it on for a few seconds after the amount of times Chris hit me!"

"Okay, Owen, that's enough," Chris said, chuckling nervously as she patted the jolly giant's shoulder. The campers looked more worried. "Here, let me demonstrate." Chris tapped Chef Hatchet's shoulder with his sword. A burst of electricity made Chef shake, but the big man did not go down. He growled at Chris.

"Oh, you're a big man, that's right," the handsome host said, and he hit the cook three more times. With a loud, warbling shout, Chef Hatchet fell down to the ground, twitching and whimpering.

This did not assure the campers of how safe it was.

"Don't worry about multiple shocks," Chris told them. "When you're out in the forest, there are several rules you must follow:

"Rule #1 - No hitting someone immediately after they go down. You must wait until they have recovered from the shock; it takes about five to ten seconds.

"Rule #2 - No camping! Camping is for losers. If you hang around someone like a vulture, you will be disqualified.

"Rule #3 - No hitting your own teammates! Doing this makes you lose a health point, as well as them!

"About health points, all you 'minor' ninjas have ten, and leaders have fifteen. Your goal is to eliminate the members of one team. Once a ninja has lost all their health points, that ninja is out."

Owen was passing out headbands with no bangs to all the "minor" ninjas. They were respective of their clans: black 'n white, red 'n blue, and green 'n brown.

"When you have been struck too many times, it will be announced over a loudspeaker. You are to take off your headband, and leave the forest."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. You're just going to send us out there and let us shock each other silly. You never enforce the rules."

"Oh, not this time," Chris said, shaking his finger at the ravenhair. "This time, there are cameras all over the forest, and our monitors will keep track of you all. So no rule breaking, and you're health points will be monitored."

"Your sword deactivates when you lose all your health points. Now, the losing team has to vote someone out, but the ninja with the highest amount of 'kills' on the losing team will have invincibility.

"The team with the higher amount of 'kills' after one team is eliminated wins! The winning team not only gets to vote for someone in the losing team to get voted off the island, but they also get a hundred dollar gift card for one of their favorite retail chain stores!"

This got everyone's attention. A hundred dollars for one of their favorite stores, even for those with rich life styles like Heather or Lindsay, was a great reward.

"Now I know that some of you aren't getting along. And I want to make this clear: _no_ throwing the challenge so you can vote someone off. You don't want to mess with me on this, I will not have the audience see a boring challenge.

"You have about an hour until the challenge starts to practice your sword fighting. Are there any questions before we begin?" Chris asked.

"Yes," Lindsay spoke up. They all turned around to see her holding her katana by the blade. "How do I use this thing?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I cannot believe it's not real confession!)**

Harold - "This... might be a problem. Gosh..."

* * *

**(The Bloody Water Clan)**

"I thought ninjas were your phobia, Harold," Bridgette asked him as she put on her headband.

"Not really, just a fear that they might ambush me when I'm not expecting it," he admitted, tapping his weapon on his shoulder.

Eva looked at the sword in her hand, and let out a disgusted sigh. "This is ridiculous. And Harold, you look ridiculous!"

The brunette nerd touched his hair, gelled up in spikes, then looked down at his bright orange jacket. "You mean you don't like it? Owen gave the jacket to me and-"

"Why do I have to follow you?" the fitness buff shouted. "I don't want to be coached by some guy who looks like a push-up would kill him!"

Noah, who was reading a book titled Ninja Sword Fighting for Smarties, eyed her with his (soon-to-be patented) look. "Do you know how to sword fight?"

"Do you?" Eva fired back, avoiding the question.

"No, that's why I'm reading," the egghead replied. "But I doubt I'll be ready, so hey, I'll just play defense."

"There is no defense," Harold explained to them. "Once we go out there, you have to be ready. Noah, you should go with someone for your safety if you're not good at this kind of thing."

The bookworm looked slightly annoyed by this, but nodded in acknowledgment. "I'll stick with Eva, after she learns how to sword fight."

Eva started to turn red with fury, then was startled as Harold swirled the tip of his sword in front of her face. "Eva, if you're so confident, try fighting me!"

With a determined glare, the muscular lady swung viciously at Harold. The jacketed nerd leapt back and parried. A few more rushed, heavy swings from Eva, all easily dodged or parried, and then Harold disarmed her with a couple swishes of his sword.

Eva looked from her sword lying on the ground to the victorious Harold, incredulous. The now spikey-haired nerd put his hand on her shoulder. "If you were using a two-handed weapon, your strength would be the key. But with a one-handed weapon, a heavy blow is not the key. You need to use agility for a smaller weapon, and I know you have that."

Harold leaned closer and said quietly, "You are a formidable opponent with intimidation, but you should know how to use this blade properly in case you run into someone like Mistress Izzy."

There was silence, then Bridgette and Tyler started to clap. Lindsay let out a cheer (but didn't know why), and Noah nodded. Eva let out a long sigh, then shrugged.

"What the hell?" she said, then grinned, determined. "Teach me, oh master Harold."

* * *

**(The Earth Spirits Clan)**

Trent stared at Izzy. "Why did you dye your hair pink, Izzy?"

The former redhead shrugged, with a mysterious smile on her face, as she dusted off her new boots. The tall, gray, open-toe boots were also new, but nowhere near as noticeable as Izzy's hair being cotton candy-colored.

"Hair color is not important in the face of the enemy," she replied. "Any of you sword fight before?"

All of her ninjas shook their heads. She rolled her eyes and replied, "Well then, we got a lot of work to do! DJ, you practice with Beth; Trent with Justin; Ezekiel with me."

The training paid off, but Izzy was obviously never taught to play gentle when she was young. Ezekiel was covered in bruises and moaning after twenty minutes.

"C'mon, prairie boy, the enemy won't show mercy," Izzy shouted.

"Well, we want him conscious for the challenge," DJ pointed out. Ezekiel shrugged, almost falling over from a woozy spell.

"Nonsense! He likes this! Don't you, Zeke?" Izzy said, banging him on the head with her sword. He yelped, then fell over backwards. "Oops. Sorry, one without a thick skull."

Beth approached Izzy, although a bit nervous. "Ith... Izz-zzzthy," she lisped, sighing in frustration before continuing, "any suggestions for how to fight?"

"Well, you, like me, are small and can hide easily," Izzy said, kneeling down so she was eye-level with Beth. "Leap from the bushes, and plunge the sword into their back."

"You mean hit them with the fake sword, right Izzy?" Trent asked.

The crazy girl looked confused, then nodded and smiled to acknowledge Trent. The musician exchanged nervous glances with Justin.

* * *

**(Midnight's Glare Clan)**

Cody stared at his fellow clansmen through his black bangs. They stared back at him, startled by how his hair was longer and pure black.

"Alright, my fellow ninjas," he said, his stare unrelenting, "we are going to be fighting some serious competition. Harold is a ninja expert, and Izzy is going to be a living blade storm. Do any of you have any sword experience beforehand?"

They all looked at each other, dumbfound, as if they couldn't believe Cody had asked such a stupid question. Before the geek ninja could speak again, Heather snapped at him.

"Why are you dressed up as an emo?" she asked.

"I'm not an emo, I'm a ninja," Cody protested.

"I've seen emo kids at school who don't have emo hair as much as yours," Heather retorted, smirking.

"I am ninja!" Cody shouted, sweeping his bangs aside. He pointed at Duncan, "He is ninja," then he pointed at Gwen, "she is ninja too! Now if you don't mind, Heather, I am your ninja master! And if you want to get through this challenge in one piece, you'd better listen to what I say, for I believe that you are ninja too!"

Heather shook her head. "I am not going to listen to some freak-geek like you," she said before strutting off. The ravenhair leaned against a tree and started to file her nails. "If you're going to be such a super geek, you can protect me, the pretty girl, for the challenge so I don't get hurt."

Katie and Gwen looked furious at her for a few seconds, then turned back to a baffled Cody. "Don't mind her," Gwen said, patting his shoulder. "Let her get slashed to pieces by the enemy."

Courtney sighed and shook her head. "Look, Cody, no offense, but you're not exactly leadership material here."

"But I do know a little bit about sword fighting," the geek exclaimed, waving his sword around. "And when you're out there, alone and against like, say, Eva or Izzy, you might want to know a fighting technique or two."

Courtney looked surprised by Cody's gusto, but stood firm. "Do you really think that you can do this?"

"Absolutely," Cody shouted, thumping his chest. He hacked and coughed from his own self-pounding.

"Give him a chance, my ninja princess," Duncan said, smirking at the CIT. "He did win that trek through Boney Island!"

Courtney's defense faded. "Oh... okay. Cody, show us what you're made of."

"Excellent choice," Cody said, grinning. "You will all learn some of the ninja techniques I've picked up, and I hope you will use them to the best of your ninja ability."

"More like emo abilities," Heather called out to him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We are ninja too!)**

Gwen - "Heather is like the old definition of insanity, which is that you keep trying the same thing and believing it will work. She truly believes that doing nothing during physical challenges will work out for her. Good thing..." \she smirks wickedly\ "... that she doesn't believe karma as well."

* * *

"Attention ninjas," Chris's voice boomed overhead on the loudspeaker, "one minute until you head out. Remember, ninjas mostly fight alone, so divide up before the starting bell rings!"

Izzy was up in a tree, muttering some kind of wartime chant. Tyler was twirling his sword by the handle, dropping it a couple times. Cody was, grudgingly, standing nearby Heather.

"I don't see why you cannot just try, Heather," he said to her, crossing her arms and fuming.

"I refuse to participate in nerd games," she replied. She smirked when she glanced at him. "Keep up that look, you really look like an emo now."

The loudspeaker blared with a high-pitched whine. "Are you ready, ninjas? Ready... and...

"_**GO**__**!**_"

The majority of ninja-campers bolted into the forest. Cody and Heather were among those who didn't bolt, mainly because Heather wouldn't bolt and Cody was forced to stay near her.

"This is really annoying," Cody protested, fuming and holding his sword more carefully now.

"Yes it is," Heather replied. "Annoying in the fact that I have to participate in this geek-fest. I wish Chris wouldn't stoop to your dweeby level."

"Do you hate everything that isn't of your style of life?" Cody said, rolling his eyes. Even though she was (physically) very attractive, the geek was having a hard time coping with Heather; especially since the ravenhair was such a vicious nemesis of Gwen.

"Pretty much, yeah. I don't think I need to involve myself in pitiful games like this larp carp."

"That's awfully close-minde-"

He was cut off when struck from the side by an electric katana. Beth grinned as Cody went down, though she muttered a small, "Sorry, Cody," before turning to Heather.

The ravenhair was alert now. She held up her sword, glaring at Beth. "So, the lisping farm girl thinks she's a ninja now."

"Mock me all you want, Heather," the shorter girl replied, "but Mistress Ithsthy taught me thome moves on how to take down a harpy like you!"

Heather rolled her eyes; that was a huge mistake. While she did, Beth leapt forward, parrying the queen bee's sword, leapt up and whacked Heather on the head with her electrified sword.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - That's our name, don't wear it out.)**

Chris Maclean - "I should have mentioned at the beginning that head blows from the electric katana blades. It's not really fair to hit someone on the head with it. They've been known to temporarily cause brain malfunction, a.k.a. goofiness! Oh, and wouldn't recommend licking them either; Owen learned that the hard way."

* * *

Heather went down on her butt, still gripping her sword. She let out a high-pitched cry, then whined.

"Take that, Heather! Ha," Beth shouted.

"Dat was really wude, you knows," Heather babbled, pointing at Beth and wobbling.

"Huh?" her attacker honked. The farm girl expected to Heather to be deceitful and/or mean, but not goofy-acting.

"Yous hit me on my hair," the queen bee continued to whine. "My hair has feewings too, you know... owie-wowiee..."

"Did I thcramble your brain accidentally?"

She didn't get to ponder it for long, because Cody, who had recovered by now, struck Beth in the back. The electric shock jolted the farm girl down to the ground, while the geek rushed to grab Heather.

"C'mon Heather, before more arrive," he shouted, dragging her as she stumbled to a very clumsy run.

"Yur Cody, right?" Heather asked, woozy. "Dat skinny kiddy who always stares at Guh-when?"

The brunette ninja boy managed to pull Heather a safe distance from where they encountered Beth. He began to shake the ravenhair, as she made warbling sounds to the shaking.

"Heather! Listen to me! Focus! She couldn't have hit you that hard!"

"She no hit me hard," Heather giggled, a grin much like Izzy's spread across her face. "She hit my noggin hard! Hehe, noggin! Nogg-in! Nogg..."

"Heather!"

"Hoggin?" Heather asked. She looked all around, then her eyes rested on her sword. "Hoggin? Poppin? Pop... sicle? Popsicle!"

In the most bizarre thing Cody had ever seen in his life, Heather, the meanest and most sinister girl he had ever met, licked her electrified katana blade. She received another jolt and went down, tongue hanging out.

Cody scratched his head, right before Justin leapt out of the bushes at him. The geek defended himself from the model's attacks, parrying and blocking as best as he could.

As they fought, Heather stood up slowly, tongue hanging out. "Wub happin wid pawpsickle?" she asked.

She was struck in the stomach by one of Justin's swings and sent back down for the count.

* * *

Ezekiel looked around, keeping his eyes narrowed and ready. He spun around at every snapping of twig, every rustle of the trees or bushes.

"_I may have Izzy on my team,_" he thought to himself, "_but I can still count on them being sneaky. They will come at any direction, eh! I must be alert, and ready and... oh look!_"

He spotted a turtle slowly crawling across the ground. "Hi, Mr. Turtle," he called out. He bent over to pat it on the shell, when he felt the 'whoosh' of a sword over his head.

Ezekiel whirled around, Katie standing there with her katana blade ready for another swing.

"Almost had me there, Katie," Ezekiel shouted as he jumped back. "Did you plant that turtle there, eh?"

"No, but he is cute, isn't he?" the BFFF said before leaping at the prairie boy.

They exchanged blows before Katie left herself open with a wide swing, and Ezekiel hit her, knocking her down to the ground dazed.

The prairie boy chuckled and darted off, leaving Katie to pick herself up a few seconds later. The tan-skinned girl moaned and shook off the daze before heading off in the direction she believed Ezekiel had headed down. She left the turtle behind, while the small reptile thought that was the coolest fight he'd ever seen in his slow life.

"Cowabunga, dude," he said in Turtle language.

* * *

Duncan was walking through the forest rather slowly. He took time out to remove a can of spray paint from his back pocket. With a smug smirk, he began spraying his logo (a skull) on a tree. Then, when he made sure no one was around, he sprayed out a heart that said 'D + C' inside of it.

"Awww, yeah," he said, marveling his work. "I am one romantic punk."

A twig snapped behind him. He ducked, missing getting hit by one of those electric katana blades by a few inches. Quickly stuffing his spray can in his back pocket, he faced his opponent.

It was Bridgette, though something was quite different about her. She was wearing a crimson, skintight body suit that went from her toes up to her neck. In this tight outfit, Duncan noticed something that made him cock an eyebrow.

"Are you cold or something?" he asked. "Because your nipples are really hard right-"

With a hard smack across the face with her palm, she replied, "Don't stare, you pervert!"

Attacking with swords now, the criminal and the surfer chick were sword fighting with high intensity. The blond surfer leapt all around him, letting out high-pitched shrieks and shouting things like, "Be gone, demon," and "No escape!"

The fight continued on for some time before Duncan realized something. "_Bridgette is terrified to be in the woods alone_," he thought. "_That must mean there is someone else nearb-_"

He was struck in the back by Tyler, who had waited for the right moment. The punk hit the ground from the electric shock, twitching and groaning. Bridgette and Tyler high-fived before heading off.

The loudspeaker overheard crackled seconds after they fled where they left Duncan. "Attention, camper-ninjas," Chris's voice came overhead. "Lindsay of the Bloody Water Clan has been eliminated from the game."

"What?!" Noah shouted. "That's impossible, we're only two minutes into this game!"

"Apparently," Chris continued, as if he heard Noah, "Lindsay was holding the bladed end of her sword when they were turned on. After recovering from her shock, she then tried to pick it up again by the blade... nine more times."

Noah and Bridgette slapped their foreheads. A little bit of a distance off, they heard Duncan laughing and coughing.

"Carry on, ninjas," were Chris's last words.

* * *

"Heather, will you snap out of it?"

"Yelwing hurd mah earsah, peeze stawp."

Cody smacked his forehead in frustration. He had managed to score a hit on Justin, then grab the stupefied popular girl and lead her away from danger. Dealing with her in this state was worse, as her brain and tongue had been numbed.

"Listen, you are Heather! Heather! You are a ninja! I am ninja too, see?"

Heather tried to say, "_Are you?_" but it came out, "Ryu?"

Cody rolled his eyes, then noticed some thick bushes. He quickly pushed Heather into them, saying, "Just hide there and don't make any noise until you feel better! I cannot spend the whole challenge baby-sitting you!"

Heather tried to say, "_What's the score? Ten? Six? Zero?_"

What she said was, "Duhhh, who id scor-pion? Sub... zero?"

"Yes, Heather, think about nice ninjas while the rest of us be real ninjas," Cody said before bolting.

The queen bee sat in the bushes, staring around at her rough surroundings, before calling out to Cody.

"_Cody? Cody?_" she meant to say.

"Mooooo-ie? Mooooooo-ie?"

* * *

Trent, Ezekiel, and DJ managed to run into each other as they were hunting through the woods.

"Run into any of them? I got nothing," Trent admitted.

"I managed to get Katie one, eh," Ezekiel said.

"I got zapped by Gwen," DJ said, hanging his head in shame. "She was pretty good at sword fighting, your girlfriend."

"Thanks but this is hardly the time to compliment the ene...," Trent stopped short. His ears perked up as he looked around. "Did you guys hear something?"

Before the two could reply, an orange blur dashed by all of them with three carefully aimed slices. The figure stopped with its back to them, posing with the sword pointing out. DJ, Ezekiel, and Trent hit the ground as the electric shock briefly paralyzed their muscles.

Harold grinned as he looked over his shoulder, then dashed away, shouting, "Yes! Score three for the Bloody Water Clan!"

* * *

Eva and Noah were traveling together when they were ambushed by Izzy and by Courtney. The two Blood Water ninjas fought their separate foes, until the now pink-haired girl managed to overpower Eva and shock her on the shoulder.

Crazy ninja girl spun around to see Noah being defeated by Courtney. The CIT smirked confidentially as she looked at Izzy. "I am the better ninja here," she hissed, "so you better believe it!"

Izzy's eye twitched. "What do you say?"

Courtney was startled by this sudden anger. "I said, 'believe it'."

The forest shook with Izzy's scream of "NO!!" Birds flew away, squirrels scattered, turtles hopped on skateboards and rolled off.

A very stunned and shocked Courtney stared up at the sky, having been hit hard by one of Izzy's electrical katana blade swipes. The crazy girl, her green eyes blazing, hissed at the fallen CIT, "Shut up, shut up, shut up! _N__ever_ say that again!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We don't believe it.)**

Courtney - "I don't think I'll ever get that crazy girl. And I don't think... no, I _know_ I don't want to."

* * *

Gwen ran through the woods, pursued by Justin. She had not wanted to risk fighting the handsome model, and so she tried to beat a hasty retreat. When she felt she had lost him, she stopped to catch her breath.

"That was too close," she muttered to herself, wiping the sweat from her face.

"Moooooooooo?" She froze when she heard the new voice. Stopping to listen, she heard it again.

"Mooooo-ooooo? Gwen had thought she'd seen it all on this island. She apparently had not heard it all.

"Mooooo-ooooo-ooooo?"

"A cow? Now how...," Gwen stammered as she followed the sound of the mooing. She came across some bushes while she trailed the sound. As she peered inn, she was startled when Heather, with her tongue hanging out and as wobbly as a drunk, came out, waving her arms.

The queen bee stopped when Gwen let out a startled shout. She stared at this new person like if she was trying to remember it from far far away.

"_Oh, is that you, Gwen_?" she tried to say.

"Oh, it fat stooge hen," is what she said.

Gwen's eye twitched, and Heather received another electric katana bash.

* * *

Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet watched the incredible ninja fights from a secret tent outside the forest. They clapped whenever a camper went down from an electric shock, and tried to bet on who would win the serious katana blade fights. Lindsay was in the tent too, watching the many screens with an incredible (but ignorant) fascination.

"So, who's winning?" she asked.

"It changes so often, it's hard to keep up with," Chris told her.

"Oh. Well, who's the home team?"

Chef and Chris exchanged glances. "Um, we are," Chris lied to satisfy the blond girl.

"Oh. Is Tiger doing alright?"

"He's doing fine."

"Cool," Lindsay said with a giggle. "He is such a great athlete, he'll take them all on."

"I'm sure he will."

At that particular moment, Tyler had tripped over a tree root when fighting Katie, and took a hit from her sword.

Lindsay sat there, bobbing her head and watching the screens. "So how much longer is the fight going to be?"

"That depends," Chris replied. "We might have to go to a commercial break."

"Silly Cristo, this is real life. Real life doesn't haven't commercial breaks!"

Chris and Chef exchanged glances once again.

* * *

**OOO-- We interrupt this reality show to bring you this important message! --OOO**

The explosion rocked the earth, and when the dust cleared, the three-and-a-half foot being stood there, undamaged by the colossal attack. Dressed in torn necro-styled gear, he threw his cape back as he stared down his two opponents as they looked at him down the crater the first one's powerful attack had caused.

"Ezekiel," Tyler shouted, flexing his muscles, "what does the scouter say about his word count?"

After seeing the numbers flash across the small screen, Ezekiel tore the scouter away from his eye. "IT'S OVER _NINETY T__HOUSA-AAAAAAAAND_!!"

"What?! _Ninety thousand_?!" Tyler repeated, spitting every word. "There's no way that can be right? Can i-iiiiiiit?"

"I think it's right," the kobold necromancer shouted back, grinning evilly.

"Wait a minute," Tyler suddenly asked. "Does that count author notes and, like, disclaimers?"

"Yeah, and this little skit too, eh," Ezekiel replied with a shrug.

"Oh," the jock said, then shouted at their opponent, "Cheapskate!"

"Hey, that was uncalled for," the kobold necromancer shouted, throwing his little arms in the air in indignant rage.

**OOO-- Had this message been of real importance, you wouldn't see it here. --OOO**

* * *

**Part 2 approaching, pending, forthcoming, nearing, impending, and on it's way!**

* * *

--

--

--

Your suggestions are all taken into consideration. Sadly, I cannot do them all, but I can try to borrow them. (And when I say 'borrow,' I mean I will NINJA them! Buahaha!)

Before any of ask, no, I am not a Naruto fan. I have read some of the manga at work during break (I work at Barnes & Noble), so I get a basic grip of it. While there are some obvious spoofs of Naruto in here, the superpowers they use are impossible in TDI for a full spoof. Having Izzy with pink hair, Cody with black bangs, and Harold in an orange jacket is good enough, believe it. \gets slapped\

Oh, and here are the teams:

**Bloody Water** - Harold, Bridgette, Noah, Lindsay, Eva, Tyler

**Earth Spirits** - Izzy, DJ, Ezekiel, Trent, Beth, Justin

**Midnight's Glare** - Cody, Duncan, Katie, Heather, Gwen, Courtney


	16. Day 5, Part 2: An Early Ceremony

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Credits to songs to their original writers and performers. I'll keep updating, because I'm not yet dead.

**Author's Note** - I did warn you people I'd be doing more parodies. It's hard to find enough jokes about fake ninja fighting, so I gotta fall back on what I know (but I do that, that's gonna be a hard, painful landing, yuk yuk).

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**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**lizark790** - I wrote the alternate lyrics, the original song is TDI's.

**Calisun8** - Courtney isn't a bad person here, but she is pretty darn harsh. Don't worry, things will get better (but they will get worse first), and if you're still not happy, there is much Courtney (and Duncan) here at Fanfiction Net.

**Mappadouji** - "Believe it" is the overused phrase of Naruto in the American dubbing. From what I gather of fans and Naruto Abridged, they _way_ overdo it.

**ReaperXIII** - And I feel like a bigger heel because I hadn't reviewed your story too. But now I have, so we're both good!

**Amaya Uchi** - Noah and Cody might end up friends during this story, but as far as them being paired up, Cody's far too into girls here. To be honest, I haven't thought much about that pairing yet, but hey, love at first horrified scream isn't too bad. Hehe.

And now, on with the show!!

* * *

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**Opening Theme!**

(The opening theme starts. The lights swing up, only to be sliced down by katana blades. The gopher that pops up on the camera ninja-kicks it back down, while the squirrel kicks the second camera out of its tree.)

(The view shoots through the campgrounds, nearly hitting Chris, who is dressed in a black ninja garb with no mouth cover. All of the people in the theme song appear like this.)

(It goes up the 1000 foot cliff, then plummets into the water. Owen is swimming from a shark, who is wearing a ninja face mask, when he releases a stink bomb underwater . It doesn't work, so he farts and the shark swims away. A fish dies and floats to the top.)

(Bridgette and Geoff are sitting on her surfboard, the surfer gal twirling a ninja's shiv coyly. The fart gas and dead fish come up, and the two lovers look horrified. An eagle, wearing a ninja face mask, picks up the dead fish with a katana blade in its talons. As it flies off, the fish slides off the katana.)

(Dead fish plummets down to DJ, who is surrounded by his animal friends. When the dead fish lands, the animals cling to him. Screaming in terror, DJ performs many flips and jumps as he flees the scene.)

(Duncan sees this and laughs. Courtney glares at him, shaking her katana blade like a scolding finger, which causes Duncan to frown.)

(Pan through the trees to a waterfall. Leshawna and Heather are battling furiously with katana blades on the raft until it goes over the edge. It pans down to Harold on a log in front of the waterfall... doing exactly what he was doing in the regular opening. Leshawna and Heather, still swinging at each other, fall past him.)

(Izzy swings on a steel rope, hitting Harold and sending them swinging to camp. They slam into the outhouse, knocking out Lindsay. Her pink panties are revealed, and her ninja stars go scattering everywhere.)

(Pans into the kitchen. Chef is brewing poisons, then he glares over at Noah and Ezekiel, who are tied up. The two look nervous, then Zeke pulls out a smoke bomb and drops it; they disappear when the smoke clears.)

(Pans over to Tyler and Eva fighting with katana blades. Eva easily disarms Tyler, and the jock holds his hands up in pitiful surrender. The camera pans outside.)

(Katie and Sadie are giggling and twirling bamboo staves, watching Justin on the beach. The handsome model is grinning at his reflection in the katana blade. He looks to the side, admiring his reflection in his other katana blade.)

(Camera pans down the beach. A fish jumps out of the water, chased by a shark. The fish pulls out numchucks and smacks the shark away. The seagull with a soda pop wrapper around its neck sees the Kraken tentacle, then removes the soda pop wrapper with its wing and slices the tentacle in two.)

(Pans to the Dock of Shame. Beth steps back, twirling her katana blade around wildly. She tosses it in the air, and it slowly turns to night.)

(Heading down, the campers are all gathered around a campfire. Gwen and Trent stare longingly at each other, then Cody ninja-pops up between them, startling them as he puts his arms around their shoulders. He grins as the camera pulls back to reveal the sign: Total Ninja Island!)

* * *

**Chapter 16 (Day 05, Part 2)** - Izzakura, the Psycho Hose-Ninja

--

Chris looked over at Chef. "Um... did someone use Photoshopping on our opening credits?"

"Don't know what you're talking about, buddy," Chef said, shrugging and hiding a poisoned shiv behind his back.

Lindsay stared at him, smiling as usual. She looked over at DJ, who was staring down at the floor in shame. Katie was resting against his side, her hair frizzled.

"What's the score?" Lindsay asked.

"Let me sum that up for everyone who blanked out for a minute there," Chris said, chuckling, "though honestly, I cannot think why you'd look away from this action. Haha, ya lax weirdos are probably just going to watch it on YouTube later, I know it.

"Lindsay, DJ, and Katie have been eliminated. So far, the Bloody Water, Harold's clan, is in first as far as points go, while Midnight's Glare, Cody's clan, is in third. There is still time for a comeback, so keep watching and cheering!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - 24/7.)**

Chris Maclean - "I'd like to state for the record that you may have seen some similarities between the dialogue of the campers and some other ninja-related pop culture shows. Let me say none of this was intended, was completely accidental, and in no way is meant to provoke a lawsuit. It's all coincidental, trust me."

Chef Hatchet - "Chris, I look forward to killing you soon."

* * *

Izzy and Harold were dueling, slicing and slashing at each other. The crazy girl continuously hissed and snapped her teeth at him. The jacketed nerd managed to dodge the wild assault, then he managed to hit Izzy. The girl cried out, laughed, then collapsed.

"_Gosh_, you get on my nerves," Harold spat at her. "This is the fifth time you've come after me. Why do you hate me so?"

Izzy shrugged as she lay on the ground. "I dunno, I just like hitting you, is all."

Harold shrugged back at her, then leapt off. Izzy struggled to get up on her feet, when the bushes behind her rustled. She twirled around, her pink hair whipping around her head.

Heather came out, singing a song that had no rhythm and non-rhyming lyrics. At least, they would have been lyrics if her tongue wasn't numb.

"Blo froo shoo yin'ant! Du shidnant skray flee wunt ploo row teeeee...," the ravenhair sang, wobbling as she warbled.

Izzy raised an eyebrow, then twitched it. "I love that song," she hissed, "and you're _ruining_ it!"

She smacked Heather with her electric sword, sending the queen bee down. She sulked off as the ravenhair babbled more.

* * *

Ezekiel was humming a tune to himself as he walked through the forest. He didn't mind that he was doing a little poorly. Every point he had lost had been by Bridgette, and not because she or Tyler had properly surprised him.

Just that every time she showed up in that skintight outfit, Ezekiel felt lightheaded and woozy. Then as he chastised himself mentally for thinking this about someone else's girl, he was battered down. He kept telling himself that next time would be different, but four times had proved to be a difficult pattern to beat.

While he tried to formulate a plan to survive the next way to survive Bridgette's next attack, Chris's voice came on the loudspeaker after a sharp feedback. "Attention camper-ninjas," he said, "Tyler of the Bloody Water Clan has been defeated. Carry on."

Ezekiel shrugged, glad that Bridgette didn't have her surprise ambusher with her. He couldn't help but feel like something was terribly wrong about this.

The shrubbery in front of him rustled just before Duncan leapt out at him. The country boy leapt to the side, holding his sword out to clothesline the criminal with it. With a sharp cry and an electric burst, Duncan hit the ground twitching.

Dashing away, Ezekiel almost tripped over Bridgette, who was shivering in a ball on the ground. The surfer girl, back in her normal clothes, looked relieved when she saw the prairie boy.

"Oh thank God," she gasped. "Zeke, when Tyler was eliminated, he had to leave the forest because of the rules!"

Ezekiel blinked. He knew Bridgette had a phobia for being left alone in the forest, but he had the feeling it was a trap.

"This isn't a trap or anything," she assured him as she stood up. "I mean... he was forced to leave, I don't blame him... I was so scared..."

She approached Ezekiel, who took a cautious step back. Bridgette realized, despite her fear, that it could be seen that she was setting him up for a trap.

"Okay, I understand how this could be interpreted," the surfer gal replied. "I know this is asking for a lot, but could you... just... here!"

She sat down at one side of a large tree, then looked at him. "You could sit down on the other side of this tree, just until one of my teammates show up.

"Then I run for my life, eh?" he said, smirking.

"I'm really sorry," she said, looking down at the ground. "I have to get over this phobia."

"Well," Ezekiel said as he sat down on the other side of the tree, "I think it would be impossible to conquer a phobia if you did it while people kept leaping out attacking you, eh."

Bridgette nodded, letting out a long sigh of relief. She stared up at the sky.

"_Katie insinuated that you have a crush on me_," Bridgette was thinking, listening to Ezekiel breath on the other side. "_I want to ask you if that's true, but I don't have the heart to tell you that Geoff and I are very close._

"_Wawanakwa Island has been so weird. I used to hang out with guys all the time, and I was practically one of them. I came here, and I'm a girl suddenly._"

"Bridgette?" Ezekiel asked, breaking her thoughts.

"Y-yeah?"

"You ever think this is worth it, eh? This show?"

"What do you mean?"

Ezekiel shrugged, drumming his free hand against his knee. "Well, you think what we do is worth it? Humiliation, pain, fear, life-threatening danger, and all soor'ts of other things, eh."

Bridgette hummed in thought, tapping the handle of her sword. "Sometimes I think so. I certainly thought so that first talent show when I puked. I kept thinking about how I had destroyed my dignity in front of all the viewers, my parents, and my friends."

"Yeah, I felt pretty bad for you, eh. That's why I wonder if this is all worth it, not to mention Chris enjoys watching us suffer."

"There is one great reason for stay, which is what Gwen told me."

"What's that, eh?"

"Making sure Heather loses."

They shared a laugh, then the prairie boy said something that startled her. "Ever wonder how she turned out the way she did, eh?"

"I actually don't care that much," Bridgette said with a shrug. "There's no excuse for her behavior. She purposefully hurt people, she tried to sabotage relationships, she insults us with every other insult, and she uses nice people."

"Her parents must be really low-down, eh," Ezekiel remarked. "It's not likely she turned out this way if they were good people."

Bridgette looked around the tree, seeing him partially. "You seem curious to know. Why?"

"I dunno. I just wonder what makes her such a spiteful person, eh."

The surfer girl shrugged again. "Zeke, I know this is mean, but I really don't care about her. She's so egotistical and mean-spirited, I want to vote her off and never see her again."

Ezekiel opened his mouth to reply, but closed it. There were a couple minutes of silence, then the loudspeaker came to life with feedback. "Attention, camper-ninjas," Chris's voice blared overhead, "Heather of the Midnight's Glare Clan has been eliminated. No attacking her." He continued to talk, though it was obvious he had forgotten to hang up. "Owen, could you go fetch her? She's still goofy from that electric shock to the head that Beth gave her."

"Aw, come on," Owen whined, his voice far off. "I wanna watch the ninja fighting! Look, Gwen and Justin are fighting!"

"C'mon, big guy!"

Lindsay's bored sigh could also be heard. "Most of them are just walking around. Look, Zachary and Belinda are just sitting down next to each other."

"Ooo, what are they talking about?" Katie asked, giggling. "I knew he had a crush on her!"

"Guys, c'mon," DJ's voice could be heard next, as Bridgette and Ezekiel turned bright red. "It's not nice to spy on people and... aww, how cute, they're blushing!"

"He likes her," Katie squealed, clapping as well. "I knew it! Why are they facing away, though?"

"They seem upset about something," Owen remarked. "Maybe they're uncomfortable with what you guys are saying."

"They cannot hear us, you big lug," Chris said, chuckling.

"Yes, they can, you left the intercom on." There were a few seconds of silence, then Katie started to say, "Oh shi-" before the intercom was cut off suddenly.

Ezekiel and Bridgette, still red in the face and huddled up, took a couple minutes before talking. "Well," the prairie boy said, breaking the tension, "want to go find some rocks to hide under?"

"I'd like to do that very much right now."

* * *

"Bridgette and Zeke, sitting near a tree," Izzy sang loudly, parading around happily. "K-I-S-S-"

She was attacked from behind by Eva, who let the crazy girl twitch on the floor. The fitness buff stormed off, furiously snarling.

"Bridgette, you're fooling around while we fight the enemy?" she snarled. "I'll get you for this!"

She was attacked from behind by Beth, who managed to stun the fitness buff. Beth was struck from behind by Cody, who was hit by Trent, who was swiped by Courtney, who was shocked by Harold, who was zapped by Duncan, who was sliced by Noah, who was cleaved by Justin, who was slashed by Gwen.

The goth girl looked at the ten teenagers on the ground, sighed, and walked off. "Carry on, camper-ninjas," she replied, imitating Chris's voice.

The ten teenagers all rose up, shouting unique battle cries.

"For the Possum Scouts!"

"For juvie!"

"For you, Gwen!"

"For necromancers! For kobolds!"

"Thor Big Bertha!"

"For robots, everywhere!"

"F-tang, f-tang, whaaaa-cha-cha-chaaaaa!"

A handsome grin.

"For crunches!"

"Oh for goodness sakes, those are the lamest war cries I've ever heard-"

Courtney was the first to be struck as she complained about their war cries. Swords clanged, teenagers were shocked, and madness was this (regardless of where they were).

* * *

Bridgette and Ezekiel could hear the wild ninja fighting, though the loudest thing was Izzy's screams of "F-tang f-tang," "Izzy slash," and "GET OVER HERE!"

Gwen approached them, seeing the surfer girl and prairie boy sitting at opposite sides of a tree. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Go right ahead," Bridgette said, smiling at her goth friend.

The fighting continued, and Ezekiel started to him as the f-tang'ing and ninja'ing became rather amusing to listen to. He began to mutter a few of the words.

"Whacha singing there, Zeke?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh dear...," Gwen said aloud. She looked directly at a camera that was poking out of a tree, and smiled. "I think I smell a song coming!"

* * *

**With the Ninjas**

Parody of "In the Navy" by the Village People, (because YMCA doesn't work well enough)

--

_Where can you fight demons_

_chop and slice and cleavin'_

_bloody, gory, carnage bliss?_

_Where can you begin to_

_learn to kill Cthulhu_

_and avoid succubi's kiss?_

_Where can you learn to dodge_

_fists, bullets and hodgepodge_

_Haha, they always miss!_

_Go and pull out their spine_

_Dare to cross that thin line_

_Hey, it's good for Chuck Norris!_

--

_With the ninjas!_

_Yes, you can wield the seven blades!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Yes, we're more deadly than grenades!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Come on now, retail is so bland!_

_With the ninjas!_

_So why don't you lend us a hand?_

(The sound of a sword slicing, then "OUCH!")

_With the ninjas!_

_Come on, we'll kill a samurai!_

_With the ninjas!_

_It's either do or don't or die!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Come on, we got ninja pie!_

_With the ninjas! With the ninjas!_

--

_They want you, they want you_

_Ninja chicks are deadly cute!_

_If you like to thrill 'em_

_you'll learn how to kill 'em_

_with a fork or a scythe!_

_Because in the shadows_

_Quiet as the meadows_

_You've got deadly poisoned knives!_

_Dragons or a devil_

_it's all on the level_

_and the dental care is nice._

_You will have the game to_

_proudly yell your name to_

_your foe while you take their life!_

--

_With the ninjas!_

_Yes, you can right the civil wrong!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Yes, it's better than playing Pong!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Come on now, people, ring the gong!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Mow them down like you mow your lawn!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Come on, protect your honor now!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Like saber cat, you will prowl!_

_With the ninjas!_

_Because right now, you fight like cow!_

_With the ninjas! With the ninjas!!_

* * *

Ezekiel's song was cut off when Chris shouted over the intercom. "Attention, camper-ninjas... ummm..."

They could hear papers rustling, then the host cleared his throat. "That was an _awesome_ ninja fight! Boy, I sure hope you were watching that rather than listening to Ezekiel sing!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Rarely does one sings in here.)**

Ezekiel - "Chris, you fink! And hey, it's not my fault the cameras were focusing on me, eh!"

* * *

"The following people have been eliminated from the game: Noah, Eva, Trent, Beth, Justin, and Courtney. That doesn't leave much of you, so look alive, ninjas! Go finish off a team to win this game!

Duncan and Cody ran into the small clearing, their eyes resting on the three sitting under the large tree. Ezekiel let out a loud yelp and darted out of there, while Bridgette jumped into some nearby bushes.

"You missed a hell of a battle back there, Gwen," Cody said, beaming. "I managed to get three opponents with one swing."

"And me," grumbled Duncan.

Cody chuckled nervously. "Sorry about that. But dude, the way you used that tree stump and the dandelion to your advantage... that was wicked!"

"I like how you managed to parry some of them, then leapt forward and strike their back with your sword. Nice style with flair, dude."

"It doesn't compare to how you used your eyebrow piercing to distract them and then carve a whole lot of hurt into their world."

"Oh now, the way you used cartwheeled off Eva, grazed Justin with the tip of your sword, then bring it down on Noah... just wow, dude. I have new respect for you, complete and utter respect."

"Incredible fight, wasn't it?"

"_Incredible_ fight, yeah."

"Sure hope they taped it, seeing as to how Izzy used a camera as a weapon at one point."

"If they didn't record any of that, the world has lost it's best action scene ever."

Gwen, who was standing now, was listening to them jabber when she heard a high-pitch catapulting towards them. Izzy came in swinging in on a vine, bellowing like the wild child she was.

She swiped at Duncan, electrocuting the criminal and sending him down to the ground; his green mohawk had never stood up as much as it had after today. Izzy leapt down on the ground and grinned wickedly. She charged at Gwen, managing to land a blow on Gwen before Cody stunned the leader of the Earth Spirits.

Cody didn't see Ezekiel come up from behind, but Harold managed to stun to prairie boy before he attacked. Harold and Cody then began to fight, exchanging legendary taunts at their opponent.

"Newb!"

"Uber-failure!"

"I rofl at your wofl!"

"Lrn 2 fight!"

"Omg, u suck!"

"U sir, r a noob, greater than - colon - left parenthesis!"

Bridgette leapt out from her hiding place and struck Cody from behind. Gwen came out and struck Harold from behind. The two girls fought each other, and struck each other in front.

Ezekiel and Izzy, having recovered, backed off long enough for their opponents to do the same. The prairie boy managed to land another hit on Duncan, while crazy girl began a fierce fight with Harold.

Pretty soon, the seven remaining camper-ninjas were reduced when Duncan was called out, then Ezekiel.

Izzy began shouting, "F-tang, f-tang," over and over, even when she wasn't swinging her sword and even when she was shocked. After one more blow from Harold, the pink-haired girl hit the ground, muttering, "When f-tanging isn't enough..."

The loudspeaker boomed overhead. "Attention, camper-ninjas! The game is over! Please will all of you head outside the forest, and gather up so we may announce the winner, the loser, and the team who... well, did okay, I guess!"

* * *

"Well, did we all have fun being ninjas for a day?" Chris asked the campers as they gathered up in front of him.

"Ras, shue kanno defoot hooger," Heather shouted, now seated in a wheelchair for her own safety. The queen bee was still goofy, her tongue hanging out like a tired dog. All of the campers were taking great delight in seeing her like this.

"That's nice, Heather. Well, we've tallied up the points for your teams," Chris said. "First off, it is official... the Earth Spirits have lost."

Izzy tried to commit hari-kari, but her blade was not sharp enough, and the electric shock had been deactivated. While she tried to swallow her sword, she heard Chris continue.

"However, it looks like we picked the right person to be leader of the ninjas," Chris said, a proud smile on his face. "Izzy, you scored the most points. Therefore, you have immunity!"

Izzy started to choke on the fake sword from the sudden news. Ezekiel quickly pulled it out of her mouth, while the pink-haired girl's gag reflex kicked in and she puked on the grassy floor.

"That was really cool," she said, grinning wickedly once again.

"Yes yes, please go wash before the marshmallow ceremony," Chris requested, staring first at her puke-stained mouth, then at her vibrant pink hair. "As far as points go, the Earth Spirits are, from highest to lowest: Izzy, Beth, Justin, Trent, and then DJ and Ezekiel tie for last.

"In second place is... the Midnight Glare Clan!"

Courtney didn't look too thrilled about this, while Cody out a disappointed sigh. "I've failed," he cried out, throwing his headband on the floor. "I am a disgrace."

"Oh, don't feel too bad, dude," Duncan said, patting his shoulder. "We may not be voting tonight, but we are safe. And I'll take safe any day."

The criminal looked over at Courtney, and she let out a defeated sigh. "I guess so," she muttered. "I mean, I really do prefer winning, but I have to give kudos to you, Cody, and you Gwen, for being able to survive this bizarre game."

Chris cleared his throat, upset that the camera wasn't on him. "Points for Midnight's Glare ninjas, from highest to lowest: Cody, Duncan, Courtney, Gwen, Katie, and... with no points, Heather."

"Ul ur fahlace wur zepong du bus," the ravenhair retorted.

"You tell him, Heather," Gwen said, a very satisfied grin on her face.

"And of course," Chris said, "this leaves us with our first place winners! The Bloody Water Clan wins!"

The six campers let out loud cries of joy, high-fiving and hugging. Eva looked over at Bridgette, whom she planned to chew out, then shrugged and high-fived Harold (who clutched his hand in pain afterwards).

"The Bloody Water ninjas points, from highest to lowest: Harold, Eva, Noah, Bridgette, Tyler, and with no points, Lindsay.

"Before you all freshen up for the marshmallow ceremony, could the six winners please give me their requested retail store, for the one hundred dollar gift card?"

Harold picked a hobby store, something that screamed "nerd" to everyone; however, they didn't think less of him, because not only had they won under his leadership, but they had won this prize in a very nerdy way.

Bridgette picked her favorite sports store, one that specialized in surfing and water sports. Eva picked a sports store too, just one that was known for being a little more hardcore than the pleasant sports the surfer preferred.

Lindsay, to no one's surprise, picked a beauty store. Noah, to no one's surprise, picked a bookstore. Tyler, to everyone's surprise, picked a fast food restaurant for his gift card.

"Dude, you sure?" Chris asked, staring at Tyler. "What about sports?"

"My dad's a sportscaster," the athlete said with a shrug. "I don't need a gift card for sports goods. This'll get me a good burger and fries meal about ten times."

"Oh, you kids today and your habit of destroying your bodies with greasy food," Chris said, chuckling. "Okay, campers! See you all at the bonfire tonight! Especially you Izzy, DJ, Ezekiel, Trent, Beth, Justin!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do you folks at home who'll get booted?)**

Izzy - \her red hair is back\ "I'm voting for my ex-boyfriend, Justin! He shall feel my wrath!"

Trent - "Ezekiel kind of blew it today. I know he was being nice to Bridgette, but it would have been nice to win."

Noah - "After a quick analysis, I've deduced that Beth is probably the least useful of the five. We've got seven more challenges before this is a free-for-all, so I'd like one of the tough, big guys, rather than the shortest person on this island."

Bridgette - "Beth is really sweet, but I don't really want to vote for any of the guys. Sorry Beth, maybe if Izzy wasn't immune..."

Eva - "I'm voting that toque-wearing twerp!"

Ezekiel - \is reading something carved on the wall of the outhouse\ " 'Esekial sucks'? _Hey_! Ya could have spelt my name right, ya hoser! Well, I'm voting for Justin, mainly because Izzy keeps ranting about how much she detests him, eh."

Harold - \is shaking his hand, then he rolls a six-sided die\ "Oh... okay then. I decided to let my lucky die choose who I vote off."

Beth - "... For thome reathon, I cannot shake this terrible dread... oh, and I got Village People songth stuck in my head."

* * *

The campers had all gathered around the bonfire, the six unfortunate members of the Earth Spirits sitting on the stump seats. Chris, still wearing the black array of the ninja, tapped the plate with one of the fake katana blades.

"Those of you who dishonored yourself with a loss, pay close attention to the five marshmallows on this plate," he said with his trademark grin. "The ninja who doesn't get one of this honor-reviving treats is going to walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and has lost the contest, is not reviving their honor, and is not coming back!

"FOREVER!"

Owen, standing with the safe campers at the side, swallowed nervously. "Isn't Izzy safe?" he called to Chris.

"Hey shush, Owen, you ruin the tension when you state the obvious!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "You repeat the obvious at _every_ marshmallow ceremony!"

"Stop killing the tension, people," Chris shouted, waving his katana blade in the air. With a long sigh, he picked up the first marshmallow. "To Mistress Izzy, for having the highest amount of hits. Well done!" Izzy grinned as she snatched the treat thrown at her. She gobbled it down as she went to stand with the other campers, leaning against Owen happily.

Justin sat confidently, drumming his fingers on his leg. Trent looked confident too, just more serious with his arms crossed. DJ was hunched up in his seat, nervously staring ahead. Beth had her fingers crossed, the hand of said fingers shaking. Ezekiel was tugging at his toque, biting his lower lip.

"The first real marshmallow of safety goes to the ninja... Trent!"

The musician let out a cheer, high-fived Justin, then caught his marshmallow. He joined the other campers, and broke his treat in half to give part of it to Gwen.

"The next is... DJ!" The football player cheered as well before catching his marshmallow. "Zeke!" Prairie boy let out a whoop, then caught the marshmallow in his mouth. Hacking, he managed to swallow it before he joined the other campers.

"Now it's down to Justin and Beth," Chris said, tapping his palm with his katana blade. "Which of you ninjas is going home in shame?"

Justin looked determined now, crossing his arms while his handsome face displayed concern, apprehension, and gorgeousness. Beth was shaking; her fingers were hurting from how she was crossing them.

"The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Beth."

The farm girl let out a loud, happy laugh as she caught the marshmallow. Then, remembering her manners, she dropped her joyous look for Justin's sake.

"Sorry, Justin," she muttered.

"Justin, it's time for you to take the Boat of Losers," Chris said as he approached the male model, who has slumped in defeat. "But just so you know, we're all going to miss you here. Won't we, guys?"

"YES," the campers all shouted in agreement. Justin managed to smile at them, and the ladies (and Owen) swooned.

* * *

"Bye, Justin," the campers called as they waved at him from the Dock of Shame. He waved back, sad but keeping up his good sportsmanship.

"Say hi to Sadie for me," Katie shouted to him. "She reeeeeeeally likes you, Justin!"

"Will do," he shouted back, surprising most of them with words.

After his boat was gone, the contestants walked back to the campgrounds. Chef was standing outside the cafeteria, holding a large brown package.

"Bridgette," he called out to the surfer. "Package came for you during the dang ninja festival. Think it's from your mom!" He tossed it at her, and she was knocked over by the force of the throw. After she recovered, she opened it up in front of the other campers, who were anxious to see what it was.

When the surfer chick finally was done opening it, she let out a happy cry. "It's oombulb tea," she said as she pulled out a tea bag from the package. "Oh wow, I love this kind of tea." "Something special about it?" Trent asked her.

"Yes, it's a great tea right before bedtime," she explained, as she started generously handing out a bag to every camper. "It really helps me relax. You also have some interesting dreams, like vivid memories of your past."

Noah was reading the ingredients of the tea bag to make sure there were none of his life-threatening allergies in the tea. "And your mom sent this for all of us to enjoy?"

"Yep! She's a giving person, my mom."

The campers all went into the cafeteria to get some glasses, hot water, and seats. They talked about the challenge and sipped the oombulb tea that Bridgette's mother had provided (although Beth had pour the tea down Heather's throat to get her to drink it). After about an hour, they said their goodnights, the seventeen campers went to their respective cabins, curled up in bed, and fell asleep.

Little did they know how vivid their dreams were going to be...

* * *

**Izzy** - Justin

**DJ** - Justin

**Ezekiel** - Justin

**Trent** - Ezekiel

**Beth** - Trent

**Justin** - Beth

**Tyler** - Justin

**Eva** - Ezekiel

**Lindsay** - DJ

**Noah** - Beth

**Bridgette** - Beth

**Harold** - Justin

--

Justin - 5.

Beth - 3.

Ezekiel - 2.

DJ - 1.

Trent - 1.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin.

* * *

**Continued in Part 3, the memory-like dreams of our campers will be revealed to all!**

--

--

--

Sorry for making the ninja fighting so short. But I couldn't think of how to write a lot of intense katana blade fighting while making it funny. So I wrote the parody.

The campers' dreams will be based on either what they experienced during the six months between TDI and TDC, or something special during TDI that is expanded for your enjoyment!

Oh, and try guessing what Heather was trying to say during her dazed, goofy, tongue-numb state! Hehe.

--

"_Blo froo shoo yin'ant! Du shidnant skray flee wunt ploo row teeeee...!_"

"_Ras, shue kanno defoot hooger!_"

"_Ul ur fahlace wur zepong du bus!_"


	17. Day 5, Part 3: Not Exactly Sugar Plums

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. I'll keep updating, because I'm not yet dead.

**WARNING** - This chapter contains PG-13 sexual scenes (but nothing past second base), weirdness, bitterness, rejection, bubbly happiness, and overall a whole lotta fun. If any of that offends you, may I remind you that this is rated T?

And now, on with the show!!

--

--

--

* * *

**Chapter 17 (Day 05, Part 3)** - Coduke, the Super Cool Ninja

--

The campers were sleeping and resting their heads. Seventeen campers, one intern, a host and a cook were in bed. They were asleep and dreaming, some happy and some perturbing. We'll be visiting them all, except for Chris's dream, because that'd be disturbing.

* * *

**(Katie, 10 years ago.)**

Twig Harbour was a small town, so when someone got a new neighbor, it was custom to great them at their door. Katie was with her parents when they said hi to their new neighbors.

As her parents exchanged hellos with the new adults, Katie felt pretty small between them. When her parents introduced her, she offered a little "hello" to them.

"You know, we have a daughter about your age," the gentleman said. He leaned back in the house, and called out, "Sadie, come here, hon. We're meeting our new neighbors." Katie was scrunching up with fear. Meeting new kids was always daunting to her, no one ever seemed to get along with her or like the things she did.

Yet when she saw the pudgy girl standing there, smiling just as shyly, something in her heart told her this would be different.

"I'm Sadie," the girl said, waving then stepping forward. "We just moved here, and it's such a nice town. But I heard it's really small!"

"It is, kind of," Katie said. Then her eyes almost bulged out when she looked hard at Sadie's hair, shaped in two little pigtails. "Oh wow! I love your hair, it looks so cute in pigtails!"

"Awwww, you think so?" Sadie replied, touching her hair. "I do it myself. Want me to do it for you?"

"Eeeeeeee," Katie squealed, her ultimate sign of happiness. Sadie squealed too, and they darted into Sadie's new house. As they did, Katie heard her mom say, "Well, I think they're going to get along just fine."

Katie never wore her hair different since that day.

* * *

**(Eva, after Total Drama Island.)**

"Eva-"

"Don't start, mom," the fitness buff started as she almost ripped off the refrigerator door. "I don't want to talk about it, at all."

"I think we should," her mom insisted. "You cannot just keep brooding over it?"

"Oh, and why not?!"

"Because I really don't want to have your bedroom door repaired a third time."

Eva sighed as she poured herself some milk. "Well, fine. What do you want to talk about? My backstabbing teammates? How they made up a new rule specifically to make sure I couldn't get immunity?"

"Hon, you cannot call them backstabbing," her mom said, patiently sitting down at the kitchen table. She watched her daughter stab the knife into the mayonnaise jar as she violently smeared it on the bread.

"They voted me off! Twice!"

"Can't you see why they did it?"

"Yes, because they're _idiots_," Eva shouted as she slammed the fridge door shut.

"No, Eva, you cannot blame them. You left them little choice."

Eva snorted as she sat down at the table, chewing on her sandwich as she talked. "Oh please, I was their best competitor."

"No one doubts how strong and tough you are, Eva. But when you threatened them with it, they didn't want to risk that you'd lose your temper again."

The muscular girl simply chewed, fuming and glaring. Her mother sighed, and deep down, Eva felt bad about lashing out at her mom. She was one of the few people who could talk to, and it felt like whenever she talked to her, she was always yelling.

"I just don't see why you hated Bridgette so much, Eva hon."

"Because she's-"

"A traitor? What did Bridgette promise you that she didn't give you?"

"She was my teammate! That's a promise in itself!"

Her mom drummed her fingers against her arm. "That may be true in many cases, but not on that show, hon. They made people vote off their teammates, they didn't have a choice."

"They could have picked someone else, someone who wasn't good at the game! Like that whiny CIT, or that dickweed criminal, or one of those dimbulb twins! Or Bridgette!"

"Hon, please. You have to see it from their perspective. Why would they vote for, say, Bridgette? Why, in their opinion, would she deserve it then?"

When Eva didn't answer, her mom continued. "You had your opinion of why that first boy should be voted off. Did you owe him anything, because he was your teammate?"

Eva swallowed her food, then leaned back in her chair. "What, that sexist twerp? He pissed off everyone."

"And you scared everyone. Hon, why can't you see that the others had opinions and views of their own?"

"Because...," Eva looked strained, torn between what wanted to say and what she could say to cover it; the former won. "Because I don't want to look at myself like if I'm the loser. I'm not the loser, I refuse to be... the loser."

Her harsh glare was gone as she sank into her chair, staring at her feet. "I just wanted to play the game and win, but they kicked me off before I could really _do_ anything. It felt like I was cheated... it felt like... just that. I was cheated, it wasn't fair."

"They didn't cheat, though, honey," her mom replied. "Most of them lost too, I'm sure they all felt just as bad as you did. But sometimes, that's how the game rolls. There was a saying from the tribe you were born in...

" 'Without strife, victory would not be appreciated'. And that's what we have here. You may have lost this fight, but there will be others; you'll appreciate those when you win them."

Eva let out a long sigh. She took a drink of her milk before she smiled at mom and said, "Thanks. Thanks... for everything, mom."

* * *

**(Cody, shortly after TDI.)**

Cody drummed his fingers against his desk, letting out a long sigh. He avoided looking up, he didn't want to see their faces.

He rubbed the back of his head, and felt something sticky there. "_Gum_," he thought, sighing mentally. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a pair of scissors and cut away at his hair. Cody heard snickering and stifled giggling, but he calmly ignored it.

"_Wonder why I didn't feel this one. Maybe this person had better aim or something._"

The teacher came in after Cody threw the hairy gum away in the class. Looking through his thin glasses, the educator began the daily lesson.

Halfway through the class, one of the students spoke up. "I don't really understand why we need to add fractions, sir. What good is it going to do us in real life?"

The teacher had answered this question for almost every math lesson by the smart-aleck student, so he looked prepared. "It will help you if you've divided something into sections, so that a fair amount will be given to each member. Like say, apple pie cut into pieces, or a bonus for employees that must be delivered fairly."

"Oh like...," the guy looked over at Cody, then grinned, "if a bear mauled someone to pieces, he'd have to find out how much of the corpse to give to the cubs and his mate?"

The class howled with laughter. Cody felt himself turning red, but he took a deep breath and focused on his math book.

"You know, Frank, you've been making remarks about bears and everyone's been laughing," the teacher said. "Is there a joke I'm missing?"

"Didn't you want Total Drama Island?" Frank asked. He pointed at Cody, who buried his nose into his math book. "Cody got mauled by a bear on that show!"

The teacher looked at Cody, who dared to make eye contact over the book. "Oh," was what his teacher said, then he looked up at the ceiling. "Must have missed that episode."

"Oh, I guess that's another good thing about fractions," Frank continued. "You could find out the fraction of episodes that Cody wasn't it after they sent him off in a body cast!"

"Or a fraction of how much of his body was uninjured," another student shouted.

"Or a fraction of the times he tried to talk to Gwen without being struck," a girl suggested with a giggle.

"Now you're going off-topic," the teacher scolded his students. "We're adding fractions here, not just finding out them. Cody, can you think of how adding fractions will help you in real life?"

The Codester was now quite red in the face, long and heavy. His heart felt like it was resting deep in his stomach, and he was concentrating so hard to ignore what was being said that he didn't hear his teacher.

"CODY!"

The brunette geek cried in surprise when his teacher hit his desk with his hand. The class burst out laughing again, making bear growls and roars.

"_This really, really sucks,_" he was thinking as his teacher glared at him over all the fake bear noises. "_I thought being mauled by a bear was the painful thing to ever happen to me, I didn't know my 'return' back into society afterwards would be more painful. How could it be any worse?_"

* * *

**(Harold, some time after TDI.)**

"Drink some milk, you cheater!"

The little carton of milk hit Harold's temple, then splashed all over the paper he had been writing on. He let out a long sigh, then shouted, "Idiot," at the guy who had thrown it.

The lanky nerd stared down at the paper, now ruined with milk. The ink was starting to run, and he struggled to read what he had written before he forgot."

 "_Dear Courtney,_

_I hope you will read this letter, rather than tear it up. But if you got this far, I just want to say something. Something I should have said before we all parted ways on Total Drama Island._

_I want to say that I am sorry for what I did. I cannot imagine how bad you must have felt, and, well, karma has been beating me real bad for it. School has been pretty mean, and it seems most people here are fans of you..._"

The letter was a milky mess after that. He sighed as he crumpled it up and threw it away. Maybe during study hall, he could write that letter to Courtney. And also the one to Leshawna, he had fallen behind and hadn't written her in two days.

At study hall, he was hit by a book. He would have complained to his teacher, but he had learned quite early on in the year that the teachers had all placed bets on the contestants of Total Drama Island, and this particular teacher had bet on Courtney. A lot.

"_Dang_," he thought to himself as he felt the bump on his head. "_Will this karma retribution ever stop_?"

* * *

**(Bridgette, shortly after TDI.)**

"Come on, Bridge! Tell us more about Geoff!"

Her friends were all around her, and she couldn't help but laugh. They had gathered at the beach, as per usual, but today, the focus was on her and not on the ocean.

"You all saw quite a bit on TV, didn't you?" she asked, giggling.

"You mean like you and him making out in the hot tub?" Bugsy, one of her guy friends, asked. Bridgette turned bright red, and giggled more.

"I... guess I got a little carried away at the resort," she admitted.

"You looked wild in that cowboy hat," her friend Dawn said to her. "Did he let you keep it?"

"One of them, yes!"

"Rockin', Bridge," Bugsy shouted, pumping his fists into the air. "You gotta invite Geoff over here, we could have a massive beach party with him!"

"Enough about Geoff for now, though, he's taken," said Gardenia, her most boy-crazy friend. "What were the other boys like? I would've been all over Trent if I had been there!"

"I liked Cody," Dawn said, giggling. "He was so cute!"

"I liked Ezekiel," Sabrina, another of her girl friends, said. When some of them looked at her funny, she shrugged. "He had a cute accent."

"Most of them were pretty cool, except for Heather," Bridgette said. "Oh, and Eva."

"Did you find out why she wanted you dead, personally?" Norm, the biggest guy of the group, asked.

"Naw, but it doesn't matter, I guess," Bridgette said, throwing her ponytail behind her. "Hey, guys, mind if we do a little surfing now? I've been dying to catch up, the waves at Wawanakwa were terrible at that time of year."

"Sure thing, but Bridgette, one thing," Gardenia asked, seizing Bridgette's arm. "Did you get any of the boys' numbers besides Geoff?"

"Maybe she got Duncan's cell number," Bugsy laughed, slapping his knee.

Before Bridgette could reply, her phone, which she had stored in her bag, started to ring. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw who it was. "Hi, Geoff!"

"Hey, Bridge," Geoff cried into the phone, loud and happy as always. "How you doing, babe? I miss you loads!"

"I miss you a lot too, even though we spent two hours talking together yesterday," she said, trying to ignore her friends' whispering and giggling. "How are things with you today?"

"Not bad, Bridge! It's just I wanted to ask you-"

"HI, GEOFF," her friends shouted in unison behind her, startling the surfer girl.

"Whoa, Bridge, who was that?" Geoff asked.

"My annoying friends," she replied, smirking back at them as they snickered.

"Whoa, Bridge, put me on speaker phone."

Knowing there was no way to talk Geoff out of this, she pressed the button. "What's happening, Bridgette's friends?" her boyfriend shouted to them.

"Hi, Geoff," Gardenia called out the loudest. "Some of the girls here are wondering if you have any brothers!"

Bridgette turned red again, while Geoff chuckled nervously. "Well, uh, two, actually-"

"Bring 'em down here when you come visit," Gardenia continued before Sabrina tried to cover her mouth.

"Hey dudes, do me a favor," the party animal said. "One of you use your video camera and film Bridgette surfing! I never got to see that, and I know she's the best!"

The surfer girl held back a swoon. She would ride a tidal wave as hard and high as she could to make a great phone movie for him now.

* * *

**(Owen, ??)**

Owen ran through the donuts, scarfing up several of them and catching those that came down from the sky. "This is the best dream ever! Donuts all over! Who could ask for more?"

"Oh, I know what you could ask for." Izzy's purring voice came from behind him. He turned around to see her there, her red hair fluttering in the breeze. The only thing covering her body were a couple donuts, one around her chest and one around her waist and hips.

"Care to help me get these rather uncomfortable donuts off?" she purred.

Owen, drooling and wide-eyed, bolted over to Izzy in a flash.

* * *

**(Noah, halfway between TDI and TDC.)**

"The next person to bring up that stupid show or any of the lamebrained contestants gets a book upside the head," Noah shouted as he stormed into his room. "And you'll get one in my face if you _dare_ bother me any more today!"

He slammed the door as hard as he could (which wasn't really hard, he wasn't that strong), and sat down on his bed. His room, smallest of all the rooms, mainly consisted of his bed, a desk, and a large bookshelf. Still fuming, he lay down on his bed and continued to read his book.

Noah was sick of being teased by his siblings about Total Drama Island. Though only three of his eight siblings still lived at the house, it seemed all eight of them, and his parents, were hell-bent on reminding him about it.

"_You should have played dodge ball at least once_," he thought, doing an unflattering impression of his sister. Then he remembered what his dad said, "_I cannot believe you didn't see it coming when they voted you off; you pissed them all off right after you lost the challenge_."

Noah had enough of that crap at school, where everyone, even his teachers, had some smart-aleck insult or a condescending lecture up their sleeve. The egghead wanted to throw something, he wanted to wear earplugs to school. That would be nice, but then he'd have trouble hearing the teachers.

He heard panting outside his door, interrupting his train of thought. A small whimper got the egghead up off of bed and to the door, opening it to let Fortune in.

"Hey buddy," he said as he went back to bed, his golden labrador jumping up on it with him. "Sorry about the door, it wasn't meant to keep you out." With a soft grunt, the dog lay down next to him, looking at Noah with those misty eyes.

He stroked the dog's fur, then scratched him behind the ears. He couldn't help but smile at him. Dogs truly were man's best friend, because when all humans around you were determined to make your life hell, a dog would still be your friend.

That's why Noah loved Fortune so much. He never talked back, he loved unconditionally, and all he asked in return was food, and a massage every now and then.

* * *

**(Izzy, ??)**

"I, Izzy, have conquered the last of the evil dragon-samurai beasts," the redhead screamed, as she stood on top of the dead dragonkin. She slid down his scaly neck, leapt off the head, and somersaulted over to the surviving campers.

"How tragic it was that we lost so many to the beast before I finally was able to defeat it! Including my love! Oh, my Owen," she shouted, dramatically placing the back of her hand on her forehead. The only survivors, who were Tyler, Harold, Duncan, Beth, and Lindsay, nodded in sorrow.

"But I know who brought him here," she snapped, looking fierce again. Her metal brassiere strained, barely covering her breasts (which were somehow much bigger now). "I know who it is, who the Jellybean Smuggler is! And it's one of you!"

The five gasped. "And...," Izzy shouted, sounding a little like Chris Maclean, "it is..." She held them in suspense until the redhead woke up.

* * *

**(Beth, shortly before TDC.)**

Beth ripped open the letter in front of her parents. She slowly began to read it, her eyes and smile getting wider by the sentence.

"Oh! Mom! Dad! They're doing a theathon before Total Drama Action, and it's going to feature all of the contestants from Total Drama Island! And that means me!"

She hugged her parents in joy, then jumped up and down. "I might make it to the final ten thith time! And no evil witch named Heather is going to thlow me down!"

"Maybe you'll get to meet that nice boy Cody again," her mom suggested, smiling.

Beth blushed a little. "Naw, we're just friends. I mean, we got along at the rethort while he was healing, but there'th not much elthe to it."

Her dad clapped her on the shoulder. "Beth hon, Cody or not, you are going to do far better this time. You should tell all your friends now."

"I'm gonna go tell Big Bertha," she shouted as she ran out to the barn, to her favorite pig in the whole wide world.

Though the big pig didn't understand Beth or look too excited, her loving nuzzle with her snout said enough to the farm girl.

* * *

**(Heather, shortly after TDI.)**

"Your hair is looking really good now," one of Heather's drone friends said to her at lunch.

"It's a freaking wig," the queen bee spat. "I'm so sick of wearing it, it itches my scalp."

"Have you gone through to sue them?" another of her minions asked. "They should _so_ be punished for cheating you like that!"

As the Heather-clones agreed in full unison, the real Heather shook her head. "No, I can't. Damn contract says I am not allowed to sue them in retaliation for what happens on the show."

They protested, they shouted how unfair it was. It was music to Heather's ears.

"Oh, hi, Hair-ther!"

An unpopular boy called Falco shouted at her as he passed by the rich girl table. "How's the wig holding? Still unable to hide the shame, eh?"

"You shut up, you nobody," Heather roared at him while her minions pitched in with insults of their own. Falco merely waved his hand as he continued on.

"Buh-bye for now, reality TV has-been!"

"Ooo, he's such a little nerd," one of Heather's clones spat. "Let's text everyone some horrible things about him!"

"Yeah, like he doesn't change his underwear!"

"Or that he sneaks into the girls' locker room! What do you think, Heather?"

"Hmm?" the queen bee was lost in thought. "Oh, yeah, that sounds good, go ahead."

She kept thinking about "reality TV has-been," something that had been haunting her ever since she had come back from Total Drama Island. She was furious at being insulted like that, over something that she couldn't retaliate against.

If only they would invite her back to the show next season or something just as good, she would prove them all wrong. And not Lindsay or Beth or _Gwen_ could do anything about it if she trumped them this time.

If only... if only...

* * *

**(Trent, the first day of TDI.)**

After arriving and saying hello to Chris, Trent was looking a little let down as he quickly scanned the island. The campgrounds looked really pitiful, the beach was filthy, even the dock he was standing on now looked like a slapdash job.

Not to mention the campers, his fellow contestants, looked a little less than inviting. There was a soaking-wet girl, furious and wringing water from her black hair; a bare-chested guy wearing an open pink shirt; and then there was some guy wearing glasses, picking his nose and really digging.

"Alrighty then," he said with a sigh. He walked over to the group, and when he did, his eyes came upon one of the interesting and beautiful girls he had seen.

The green and black hair, the pale skin contrasting her dark clothes, her green lipstick and slim figure, she was a work of art if Trent had ever seen one. When he approached them, her eyes went wide. He grinned at her, and she looked away frowning, clenching her hands together behind her back.

"_Hello to you too,_" he thought, still smiling. He could tell when a girl was trying to hide it that she liked him, he had seen it before. But this felt very special, something that could make this crappy campground the adventure he wished it to be.

Though he didn't know it, she was looking at him the moment he turned away, and smiling. It was the first time she had smiled since she arrived on the island.

* * *

**(Gwen, some time after TDI.)**

"Don't be silly, Trent," Gwen said, taking to her boyfriend on her cellphone. "If I take a picture of it, it won't look the same. You're getting the real deal."

"Are you sure, Gwen?" he asked. "I mean, I could always mail it back to you if you ever need it-"

"Don't you dare," she snapped, though she was smiling. As she talked, she was putting a sketch of hers in a vanilla envelope. "I want you to keep this. Put it on the fridge, pin it to the wall. I want you to keep it forever."

"Okay, Gwen, if you insist. I'm just thinking about your future career. You get any calls yet from any sponsors or something?"

"If I had, you would have been one of the first to know," Gwen replied. "Most of Canada would, I'd be screaming in joy."

"I doubt that. No matter how happy you could get, I cannot see you squealing like, oh, Lindsay from TDI did."

"Ya never know," the goth girl said as she sealed the envelope.

"So what is it of, anyway?"

"It's a surprise, handsome," she cooed, giggling mischievously.

"Aww, c'mon!"

"Nope! Surprise for you, my music man!"

The drawing, in charcoal pencil and colored in with pastels, was the first day of TDI. It was pictured just like Gwen remembered it, right after Trent joined the other campers on the dock. He was staring forward, waiting for the next boat to come, while she looked at him from behind. Her shy smile, that she had had to hide quickly before anyone else saw, was what every artist wanted to capture: love at first sight.

* * *

**(DJ, shortly after Total Drama Island.)**

DJ was the big celebrity of his school when he got back, all the positives and some of the negatives. While there was sometimes one person pretending to rev up a chainsaw, cluck like a chicken, or hiss like a snake, there were ten times as many people who were telling DJ how great he was.

They talked to him all the time, asking him questions about the show and the other campers, telling him how sad it was that he had been voted off by Chris's judgment rather than by vote, and/or asking him to autograph something.

One day, he met up with his friend Ryan, who was talking to a young lady. After saying hi to Ryan, his friend introduced the young lady.

"This is Alexandra," Ryan said. "Her friends call her Alexa for short."

Alexandra looked DJ over. "You're DJ? The guy everyone's talking about?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling back. "What's up?"

"Wow. I heard so much about you, I didn't know what to expect when I met you," she said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling. "I've heard a lot about you."

"What do you mean, 'heard'?" Ryan asked. "Didn't you see him?"

Alexandra looked confused. "Should I have?"

"He was on Total Drama Island, the most popular show there was!"

"Oh. I don't watch much TV, especially not reality TV."

"But he's also on the football team!"

"I... don't watch a lot of sports, either," she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck, embarrassed.

"What do you like then?" DJ asked politely.

"Well, I am the head of the animal club here at school."

"There's an animal club here now?" the big guy exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Oh wow, I was hoping they'd have one this year!"

"Interested in joining, hon?"

"Would I ever!"

Alexandra smiled, a most charming one. "Come to the study hall during lunch break, hon. I hope I see you there."

If someone had told DJ he would be dating this fellow animal-lover in a couple weeks, he would still have been surprised. But just as happy and excited, of course.

* * *

**(Duncan, shortly after TDI.)**

The punk stared at the photo he had, the only one he had. It was of Courtney, her winning smile seemed to be just for him. He had stared at it for so long, he knew how many freckles she had exactly.

"Cannot wait to see you again, princess," he said to the photo. "Just let me finish up here first, then I'll see you without all those cameras or people watching us."

Someone walked by his cell. He hid the photo from sight as the guard peered through the bars. Although the photo wasn't against the rules, he didn't want anyone knowing about it.

"Hey, Mr. Celebrity," the guard said, "stay good, alright? Just two more weeks, and you'll be free again."

Duncan shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, whatev', man. This place is still nicer than the worst of that show."

After the guard left, the criminal took out the photo again. "_I made a promise to her, after all. If I stay clean for a month after finishing up the sentence that was delayed for Total Drama Island, she'd reward me!_

"_And though I love that frustrated scowl of hers, her smile is still more charming._"

* * *

**(Ezekiel, the resort stay episode of TDI.)**

He was starting to drift off, the hot tub had felt so good and relaxing. It had made him lightheaded whenever he stayed in too long, and twice he had fallen asleep in it. A third time wouldn't be bad, maybe this time he wouldn't be woken up by one of Lindsay's happy squeals. She had squealed a lot ever since she arrived at the resort, and Katie and Sadie squealed a lot too.

Ezekiel couldn't really blame her. The resort was incredible in every respect, far more grand than his life on the prairie. Though deep down he still missed that, this place was incredible.

His head swam as he started to feel sleepy. His Z medallion floated around his chin as he bowed his head and fell asleep.

When the water splashed his face, he merely stirred. What really woke the prairie boy up was the sound of something really wet, slurping sound. He raised his head to see Geoff and Bridgette kissing rather heavily in the hot tub.

"Uh-oh," he accidentally blurted out.

The two looked over at him, greatly startled. "Zeke?" Geoff asked, his face flushed and his eyes wide. "What are you doing in here?"

"Buh... I was... eh...," he stammered.

"Ewww," Izzy shouted, staring at them from the main pool. "Are you guys letting Ezekiel watch you make out?"

"No," Bridgette shouted, looking annoyed.

"You should really let the couple make out in the hot tub alone, Ezekiel," Izzy said, shaking a dead fish impaled on a harpoon at him.

"But I was here first, eh," he complained. Then, with a heavy sigh, he shook his head. "Alright, alright, I'll go."

"Hold on a second, Zeke!"

Chris Maclean was standing in front of the hot tub, a cameraman standing next to them. "This'll make you look more pimp, ya know?" the host shouted, excitedly.

Ezekiel stared. They couldn't see his wide-eyed stare behind his sunglasses, so they couldn't tell how disturbed he was. He began to feel his face to see if any pimples had formed on his face without his knowledge.

"No no, pimp! Like rappers," Chris continued. "It fits your anti-women attitude!"

"I'm not antee'-wome-"

"No no, this won't do," Chris shouted, slapping his forehead. "Use some of that slang we taught you and act cool. Bridgette, Geoff, continue to make out nearby him. Now, Zeke, be as hip as you can be, pimp and hip."

This was going to make him look ridiculous, especially if he was breaking out on his hips. Ezekiel wanted to go home right now.

* * *

**(Lindsay, at the resort during TDI, sometime before the end)**

Brushing, brushing, brushing...

Brushing, brushing, brushing...

Brushing, brushing, brushing...

Brushing, brushing, brushing...

Brushing, brushing, brushing...

Brushing, brushing, brushing...

Brushing, brushing, brushing... done!

Lindsay had perfected her hair with only twenty-one strokes, not twenty-five like it regularly took.

This was a monumental day, a glorious feat. She ran around the resort, squealing and shouting out the news to everyone. Tyler was cheering for her, being a supportive boyfriend. Katie and Sadie also cheered, while Noah, as per normal, rolled his eyes.

She ran over to tell Geoff and Bridgette, who had been kissing next to the hot tub. As she let out another shriek of joy, there was a gurgling cry from the hot tub.

"Dad, the wood chipper started up on its own again," Ezekiel shouted, panting in terror. Realizing where he was, he looked around and let out a sigh of relief.

Lindsay looked at him, then she turned to Bridgette and Geoff. "Who is that guy?" she asked. "I don't remember him even being on the show."

The prairie boy sunk underwater, grumbling to himself. When Lindsay saw his toque bobbing in the hot tub, she squealed happily and snatched it up. "This is kind of fetch," she shouted. "It's blue, just like mine," she pointed to her hair piece.

"Can I have my toque back, please?" Ezekiel asked.

"Who is he, by the way, guys?" Lindsay called out to all the other campers, pointing at Ezekiel. "I don't think he was on the show at all... oh!"

Lindsay was suddenly bending over the edge of the hot tub, smiling sweetly at Ezekiel. "Are _you_ Tyler?"

Ezekiel's face flushed, and he sunk underwater quickly.

* * *

**(Courtney, a little while after TDI.)**

The CIT was not looking very professional right now. She was panting hard, her face was flushed, and her lips were a little swollen from all the kissing. Duncan looked the exact same.

"I...," she managed to pant, "cannot... believe you convinced me to do this. What... what if someone sees us like this?"

"C'mon, Courtney," he said, batting one of her sweat-soaked bangs. "You're the one who insisted I close the drapes after I came in through the window."

"I still cannot I asked you to do that," she said, squeezing his bare shoulders as that was where her hands were at the time. "You travel a great deal to see me, and the first time you do, it's while my parents are gone for the weekend and through my window."

He grinned at her, like the sly devil he was; it made her swoon inside, but now, she was swooning outside too. "Hey, babe, you asked me to. Guess you wanted to really ramp up the bad girl experience."

"Don't say that," she said in a pout. "I'm not a bad girl."

"Right, that's why you're on my lap, while our shirts are on the floor," Duncan wiggled his sexy unibrow. "Shame you still got that bra on, sweetheart, doesn't seem all that fair."

"Ewww, you're not getting to second base that quickly, ogre," she retorted, her blush increasing.

"You're too cute when you try to shoot me down, ya know? So when are you going to let me get to second base?"

"Duncan, quit being so... so typical teenage boy-like!"

"Well, I am just saying. We might not get another shot at this, what with your parents being gone and possibly coming back any minute...," his grin got wider as he spoke, "I'd have to slip out the window again!"

The thrill of danger, the temptation to break the rules, and that cute eyebrow wiggle he was doing tipped the scales on Courtney's behavior. She let out a defeated sigh.

"I hate it...," she said as she began to unhook her bra, "how you know me so well."

* * *

**(Chef, ??)**

The big man gasped in joy when he saw what was in front of him.

A pony!

A beautiful, dark brown pony! It was something he had wanted all his life, something he knew he would cherish and love and protect!

He ran over to it, the biggest, sappiest grin he had ever had on in his life. The pony whinnied happily when it saw Chef, and nuzzled his apron affectionally.

Tears of joy spilled from the large man's eyes. He was so happy, he didn't care who saw them.

* * *

**(Tyler)**

In the Killer Bass cabin, on the boys' section, only one person wasn't sleeping well. The jock was twitching in his sleep.

"No... no, mom...," he whimpered. "Please don't... don't... stop... dad, mom... no... NO!!"

He woke up, sweaty and panting. His eyes were wet with tears, and he was trembling all over. It took Tyler a few seconds before he realized where he was, and he was still shaking then.

Tyler collected himself, breathing in and out repeatedly. He looked over at his teammates to make sure he hadn't riled them. Duncan and DJ looked quite calm, Harold was sucking his thumb, and Ezekiel was making little purring and grumbling sounds in his sleep.

Wide awake and soaked in sweat, Tyler snuck out of the cabin and headed over to the showers. Tossing his clothes to the side, he stepped in the shower.

The water was pleasingly warm and massaging on his body, which managed to feel cold and hot at the same time. He washed his face, scrapping the dried sweat off of it.

As he let himself soak in the hot water, he stood perfectly still. A couple tears ran down from his eyes, but he refused to let them be washed off.

"I gotta tell her some time," he said to himself, staring at the shower stall's wall. "It may cost us our relationship, it may get ugly... heck, I might get even voted off if they all know what a wimp I've become...

"But they deserve to know the truth."

* * *

--

--

--

Hope you all enjoyed these little stories. They were to make up for Day 05 being so short. Day 06 is actually going to be, if it's as long as I hope it to be, going to be much longer.

Oh, and you guys got a couple of Heather's garbled quotes right! You're good guessers!

--

"_Blo froo shoo yin'ant! Du shidnant skray flee wunt ploo row teeeee...!_"

"Oh no you didn't! You didn't pay me what you owe meeeee!"

--

"_Ras, shue kanno defoot hooger!_"

"Yes, you cannot defeat Hogger!"

(**NOTE** - Hogger is a gnoll in the game, World of Warcraft. Because he is a super-tough named monster in a character's starting location, he is jokingly referred to as _the_ most difficult and dangerous creature in the entire game. But if that's too much for you, then she said, "Heather" and not "Hogger." Hehe.)

--

"_Ul ur fahlace wur zepong du bus!_"

"All your base are belong to us!"

--

The tragedy, humor, action, and many other fun things to come in Day 06! And CELEBRATION, I made it over one hundred thousand words! \with Owen gusto\ WOOHOO!


	18. Day 6, Part 1: Insert Bad Snow Pun Here

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Many sodas were consumed during the making of this story.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**ReaperXIII** - Since Izzy hasn't found out who the jellybean smuggler is, we don't know either. But eventually, she'll found out like we will.

**SSBFreak** - Yeah, Justin being so handsome works for a few good jokes, but not much else. Makes me wonder why he's coming back to TDA (though the movies do love their pretty boys).

**Phantomhorse1810** - Welcome to the story! And once every two weeks? I think my update process is a little better than that. Hehe.

**Raven Hufflepuff** - Cross dressing will happen later on in this story. Mark my words, I do have something like that planned, just later on.

**Volvochick** - Yay, I was hoping someone would comment on the Courtney memory / dream! That one was for all you who like D+C and have been asking for more in this story.

**Everyone Else** - Woohoo, this story just isn't stopping, now is it? If you all are wondering how I can type so much, it's because I live for writing. I started this story to get my writing surge starting, and it's SURGING well!

And now, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... the campers took part in a ninja larp, in which they used electric katana blades to fight their opponents. While people like Izzy, Harold, and Cody were skilled and ready for this challenge, some like Heather and Lindsay were at the unfortunate side of a katana blade... sometimes their own!

So, after surprise attacks, intense sword fights, and a merry ninja song, the winners were Harold's team, proving once again that nerds, though highly unpopular, can amount to a great deal of potential! Izzy's team was in last place, and after twelve votes were cast, it was the gorgeous Justin who had to walk the Dock of Shame. It's a tragedy in my opinion.

The climax to it all was the oombulb tea that Bridgette's mom sent them. Thanks to the environmentalist's tea, the campers all dreamed of events that happened after TDI, during TDI, and... some of them just had really strange dreams.

Now that things are cooling down on Wawanakwa Island, will we expect to see what is up with Tyler's past that has made him the Hawaiian shirt wearer that he is? Will we get a hint at who Katie's crush is? And just how cool am I, huh, how _cool_ am I?

All this and more (or less) will be answered on this episode of Total... Drama... COMEBACK!!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!_)

* * *

**Chapter 18 (Day 06, Part 1)** - The Cold Warm-Up

--

It was the morning two days after the ninja challenge when most of the campers found themselves shivering in their beds. Heather mumbled in the sleep for someone to turn up the heater. Cody was shivering so bad, he finally got up to get a sweater.

The geek approached the window, and saw powdered sugar fall down from the sky. He blinked, then realized it must be because he hadn't been sleeping enough.

A snowball hit the window, causing him to shout in surprise. Waking up Noah and Trent, the robot builder pointed at the mashed snowball against the glass.

"The heck?" was Trent's response.

"Well, that certainly explains the cold," was Noah's response.

The boys put on jackets and looked outside. Wawanakwa Island was blanketed with snow, and it was still drifting down in white, frosty goodness.

Ezekiel and Beth were already up, hurling snowballs at each other and laughing. The two then spotted the three Screaming Gopher boys, and tosses some snowballs at them. Trent and Cody leapt to the side, while poor reaction skills Noah only had time to widen his eyes before he was clobbered by snowballs and knocked down to the ground.

"You're dead, farm hands," Trent shouted with a laugh, jumping into the snow and gathering himself a weapon.

Cody and eventually Noah grabbed snow of their own and began snow fighting. The members of the other teams and the Screaming Gopher girls eventually peeked out to see what the five campers were doing.

"Will you shut up," Heather shouted, "you're louder and more annoying than Chris in his plane!"

She was hit by six snowballs; the sixth one was from Eva, who was out in the snow the moment she saw an opportunity to hit Heather in the face with a snowball.

The campers all poured out on the snow, even Heather, and began pelting each other with snowballs. Though it was rather harmless, Eva did have the pitching arm to knock over people with merely a snowball.

"Who would have thought that Wawanakwa Island could have snow?" Tyler said.

"Actually... it normally doesn't."

Chris was standing there in a thick snow suit, blue and extra fluffy trimming. He had on his hood, which had such fluffy trimming that his face was almost obscured.

"We pulled some strings, and thanks to some expensive equipment, we managed to alter some snow clouds over the island," he explained to them. He juggled a snowball in one hand as he talked.

"Ith it part of the challenge today?" Beth asked him.

"Good question, Beth! You get a snowball," he chucked the snowball at her, but she ducked just in time. "Nice dodge there! Yes, the challenge has something to do with winter wonderland goodness! It will be taking part in mid-afternoon, so you all have plenty of time to prepare!"

"Are you...," Heather started, then she sneezed, "kidding me? Most of us didn't bring snow clothes to this damn island? We're gonna freeze -achoo!- to death if we do stuff out in this weather."

Lindsay, standing next to her and shivering harder in her skirt and tank top, nodded a great many times. Tyler heard her whimper, and hugged her close for warmth.

"Chef took the liberty to ordering snow suits, jackets, and other snow clothes," Chris said, smiling generously. "Frostbite is something we'd like to avoid here, so we made sure you all had the proper clothes. Oh, and there are ice skates for all of you, since the lake nearby has frozen over."

* * *

The seventeen campers and Owen were found themselves standing in front of the frozen lake, staring at it closely.

"You think it's safe?" Katie asked them.

"Chris did say it had frozen over," DJ pointed out.

"Chris would also love to see us plunge through and freeze to death for ratings," Heather snapped. She was still shivering and shaking, and looking quite miserable; it was making a lot of the other campers very happy to see.

Noah tapped the ice with the tip of his boot. "Well, I volunteer anyone who knows how to ice skate to test it for us. We can get a rope or something if you plunge through."

"How very thoughtful," Trent replied, rolling his eyes.

"I _know_, right?" Lindsay said, nodding and smiling.

"Will someone just go check it out?" Courtney asked, shivering in her gray jacket. She clung to Duncan, sacrificing her usual attitude of avoiding him in public to some body warmth; he was _quite_ happy with it. "I don't want to stand out here all day-"

She was interrupted when Harold zipped out on the ice, skating on one foot. After a couple twirls and a splits-jump, he skated back to them and came to a strong stop; the ice sheet that he kicked up blanketed Bridgette and Izzy.

"Seems fine to me," he said, smiling.

Katie let out a loud squeal and got on her ice skates. As smooth as graceful as Harold, she skated backwards and twirled around.

"When did you learn how to skate, Katie?" Bridgette called out to her, brushing herself off.

"Sadie and I have known for years," the BFFF called back. "Any of you want to learn how?"

"Oh no no no," the surfer girl replied, shaking her hands. "You know me, I'm awkward enough on land."

"Just plain awkward, you mean," Heather quipped as she rubbed her nose. The queen bee took a snowball to the face by a vengeful Ezekiel.

"I'd be glad to learn, Katie," the prairie boy called out. "Do you have to learn how to walk on ice first, eh?" He was talking as he started walk on the ice. "I hear that helps when preparing for ice ska... whoa... whoa-whaaaaa!"

Ezekiel's feet started sliding, gave out from right under him, and he slammed down on the ice. The crowd groaned in sympathetic pain.

"Zeke buddy, get some skates on," Harold said as he skated over. "It helps a lot more."

"Yes, sir!" The prairie boy did as he was told, and while he wobbled on the ice, Katie began to help him keep steady. Gwen, dressed in green and black snow clothes, requested to learn too, so Harold began to guide her.

The learning process between the two was obvious. Ezekiel was landing on his butt, his back, his chest, and sometimes his face; Gwen hadn't fallen down once.

For the spectators, Owen had hauled over a couple benches. They sat and waited their turn. Izzy cared not to wait, and so she excused herself for the time being; she was really going back to the cabins to inspect everyone's belongings for any traces of the illegal jellybeans.

"Aww, snow," Trent said as he juggled a snowball between his hands. He turned to the person sitting next to him: Cody. "You ever play out in the snow, Cody buddy?"

"Sure, lots of times!"

"Kids must enjoy pelting you with snowballs," Heather said, honking and sneezing next to her.

"Actually, yes," Cody admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. "At school, the snowball fights were a little uneven. And I, um, once hit the head cheerleader in the face with a snowball on accident."

Lindsay, who had curled up to Tyler, gasped in the utmost horror. "You didn't!"

"Yep," Cody said. "No one at school talked to me for a month."

"That's too bad, man," Trent said, rolling the snowball in his hand. "Me, I just played out in the snow a whole lot when I was young."

"Fascinating," Heather grumbled. "Utterly fascinating. Not!"

"Does cold weather make you cranky?" Cody asked. "... -er?"

"Cold weather isn't exactly fun," Eva, in a tight, dark blue jacket, said. "It's a pain in the ass in exercise in."

"You exercise in the snow?" the geek asked, startled.

"Not anymore, actually," Eva said with a shrug. "I once tried it, and I had this massive cold for about a week."

"That's too bad," Cody said, patting her shoulder.

"Don't touch me."

"Right, sorry!!"

After his nth painful fall on the ground, Ezekiel called it quits. Katie asked Cody if he wanted to skate, but he turned her down because he was certain he'd fall as much as Ezekiel. So the tan-skinned girl asked DJ, and the big guy agreed.

"You ever play out in the cold weather, DJ?" Katie asked him as she helped him balance.

"Well, my brothers and I used to play in the snow all the time. But coach is nice enough not to make us practice when the snow is thick."

Courtney watched them as she pressed up against Duncan. "K-Katie seems to be close to DJ, don't you think?"

"... I'm sorry?" Duncan asked, far too distracted by his girl being cuddled up against him.

"Maybe," Bridgette replied. "DJ is seeing someone, but maybe she has a crush on him."

"Nope," Izzy shouted as she popped up between the surfer girl and the cuddling couple. "Katie _does_ have a crush on one of the campers, but it's not DJ!"

"Really?" Bridgette looked excited. She was thrilled, because she enjoyed love mysteries.

Izzy nodded a great many times. "Yep yep! And I know who it is!"

She ducked out again, then appeared behind Ezekiel, hugging him tight. "Maybe it's Zeke here!"

"Grk," replied the prairie boy, unable to speak while the redhead squeezed him.

"It's obvious it is J-J-Justin," Courtney said through her chattering teeth. "K-Katie and S-Sadie are always all... all over him!"

"Nope," Izzy chimed. "Justin doesn't count, because that crush is obvious! All the girls here have a crush on Justin, even some of the guys have a crush on Justin!"

The male campers looked disgusted by this remark; that is, except for Owen and Ezekiel, who looked away in silent shame.

"Katie's crush, I'll give you a hint," Izzy said as she appeared behind Owen, jumping up on his shoulder, "it is one of the boys on the island here! And he's single!"

"Really?" Bridgette shouted, looking at all the available boys. "So it's either Noah, Cody, and Ezekiel!"

"Right," Izzy said, then abruptly changed the subject. "So, who here likes snow? I heard you guys were talking about snow, and I remember this one time that I had to hide from the RCMP up in the mountains! I made friends with some yetis, and they were really nice and fluffy, and we hunted mountain goats and mountain lions!"

Noah was reading a book while he raised a disbelieving eyebrow at Izzy. "Snow doesn't interest me," he said. "I had eight older siblings. If I stepped outside on a snowy day, I'd be a living bruise within minutes.

"I hate the snow," Lindsay said as she held onto Tyler. "It's cold and chilly and frosty and cold and nippy and cold... and cold... and I hate wearing thick snowsuits! I prefer bikinis!"

"Me too," said Tyler. She gasped.

"You wear bikinis too?"

The jock looked away, flushing at Lindsay's mistake. "Err... no. Anyway, I don't like snow either."

"What about snow sports?" Cody asked him.

"Except for hockey, not a big fan."

"I love skiing!"

Gwen skated by, slid off the ice, and into Trent's lap. "I have gone skiing a few times! And my brother and I love to ambush the neighborhood kids and pelt them with snowballs!"

"I have gone up to the mountains several times myself," Harold said as he skated up to the others. "Possum Scouts are into skiing, skateboarding, and other winter sports."

"I've gone up to the mountains once, eh," Ezekiel said, looking up at the sky. "I was six, and I saw snow on TV. I begged my parents to let me see it in real-life, and when I was up there, I played in the snow for hours."

"Sounds like you had a great time," Bridgette said, smiling as she fluffed out her light blue, snow jacket.

"Well, I did until a moose chased me up a tree and kept me up there for a couple hours, so I begged my parents to never take me up there again," Ezekiel said, shrugging his shoulders. "Shame, that."

Harold took Beth out next to teach her how to skate. As the two, Katie, and DJ skated (and fell down a few times), the campers continued to talk.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's really cold in here.)**

Heather - \still shivering\ "I _hate_ this weather! It's so cold, the thick clothes I have to wear that aren't flattering, and the dorks throw snowballs at each other!"

Lindsay - \shivering more\ "I, like, _hate_ this weather! It's so so so cold, the cold clothes I have to wear are cold, and the cold snowballs people throw are cold."

* * *

Harold approached Tyler next after Beth felt like she had fell enough times. "Hey dude, you want to learn how to figure skate next?"

"Naw, man, I know how."

"You do? Then why don't you skate out here, dude? We could play hockey or something."

Tyler sighed. "I... don't really feel like playing sports these days."

"But you're the jock," Noah said, looking over at him. "You gotta be kidding us, man. Why don't you want to do sports anymore?"

"That's... something I'd rather not talk about now," the brunette said with a sigh.

"Can you at least show me how to skate?" Lindsay asked him. Her baby blue eyes were looking at him, pleading. Tyler felt his defense fading fast.

"Oh... okay."

He put on skates, stepped on the ice, and fell down after one stride. He continuously tried to stand up, but fell down.

"Ouch," Eva remarked when he fell on his face, "ow," she said when he fell on his butt, "yikes" she said when his legs went separate ways and unintentionally did the splits.

Lindsay winced as Tyler crashed into the side at the other end. "Ow... guess it's not his thing, skating. Poor Riker."

" 'Tyler'," Gwen corrected her, rolling her eyes. Lindsay constantly forgetting her boyfriend's name was becoming a major annoyance to her.

"You guys wonder what happened to him?" Trent asked aloud.

"I'm sure he'll tell us when he's ready too, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Yeah, I wouldn't try to pry it out of him," Bridgette suggested. "But I'm interested in finding out who Katie's crush is, since that requires investigation."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I am... so chilly, mon. I want put more clothes on!)**

Bridgette - "Okay, I know I'm into finding out crushes a little much; I blame my friend Gardenia. But hey, it'd be really neat to find out!"

Ezekiel - "I would say that girls are a little bit weird when it comes to finding out crushes, but since it might be _me_ who Katie has a crush on, I wanna know too, eh!"

* * *

Harold and Katie, unable to find anyone else who wanted to try skating (and falling on their bum), skated together. The BFFF was secretly happy, because her skating partner normally was Sadie, who was more than twice the skinny Harold's weight.

Beth and Izzy began making snowmen (though Izzy's were mostly monsters eating Beth's snowmen), Trent and Gwen made snow angels, and Lindsay helped nurse Tyler's bruises.

Heather went back into the cafeteria for hot cocoa, still sneezing and sniffing. She was a little disturbed to see Chef Hatchet in a snowsuit just like Chris's, mainly because his was bright pink.

When he poured her some hot cocoa, the queen bee looked up at him with a pouty face. "No little marshmallows?"

He slammed his fist on the counter. "Wait and see if you survive the challenge, Grim 'Heether'!"

"Yes sir," she shouted, scurrying over to a table. Watching him out the corner out her eye, she let out a sigh when he was gone.

"Note to self," she whispered, "one person who cannot be bossed is Chef."

She glanced to the side, then muttered, "Probably should have learned that by now. Must be the cold."

The door to outside burst open, Bridgette and Cody holding Ezekiel, who was coated in half-frozen water and a long icicle hanging down from his toque.

"Chef," Cody shouted in a panic, "get some hot water, stat! Zeke fell through the ice when he tried to skate a second time!"

The large cook ran over to the sink, cranking up the hot water valve. Then he noticed his extremely powerful water gun in the corner, and a wicked grin formed on his wicked face.

Heather grimaced when Bridgette and Cody laid the shivering, chattering Ezekiel on the table. "I thought that lake was solid enough," she said with a scoff, wincing when the half-frozen boy sneezed violently.

"I'm sure telling him that makes him feel better," Bridgette snapped.

Chef burst out of the kitchen, pumping his large water gun. "Um, Chef?" Cody said, looking nervous. "What is that for-"

The pink snowsuit-clad cook pointed his water blaster at Ezekiel. Bridgette managed to yank Cody out of the way before Chef let loose the gushing flow of steaming water. Heather, not expecting this, was caught in the blast. She and Ezekiel were sent sprawling up against the far wall, the queen bee shrieking.

Wincing, Bridgette and Cody walked over to the far wall to see if the two (mostly Ezekiel) were okay. What they saw shocked then.

Heather was lying on top of a dazed Ezekiel, both soaking wet. The ravenhair let out a relieved sigh, then she smiled.

"Ahhh, I'm warm now, at long long last," she said, sighing happily. "Warm... warm..."

She slowly realized where she was, and who she was lying on. With a high-pitched gasp, she tried to pull herself off; however, she slipped on the wet floor and landed right back on him.

Ezekiel spat out water on her face as he choked and began to breath normally. After a few seconds, he realized who was struggling to get off him.

"What's bin going on, eh?" he asked as she finally managed to get off him.

"It was nothing, nothing," Heather shouted, and headed for the door. When she opened it, she was hit by the frigid air of outside. Standing there, she pondered what would be more painful: going outside in the cold when soaking wet, or being in the same building as the boy she had been accidentally lying on.

With a pained grunt, she pulled the door shut and sat down at the other table. Glaring at Bridgette and Cody from under her wet bangs, she snarled, "Don't any of you say a word. Consider yourself lucky you don't go to the same school as me."

"I already am glad of that," Bridgette said as she went to Ezekiel to double-check on his condition.

Cody looked over at Heather, and put on a sly grin. He laid his arm on the table in front of her. "You got numbers of any of the cheerleaders at your school, perchance?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Think she'll give him the cold shoulder?)**

Heather - "This is all Chris's fault! He directed this stupid, cold weather to the island! Now I'm freezing my butt off, and I wound up tangled up with that rapper-wannabe, toque-wearing, sexist, Bridgette-crushing, prairie-dwelling, homeschooled twerp! I hate him so much... Chris, I mean! I detest Ezekiel too, of course."

Ezekiel - "Well, that was awkward, eh. Nearly died, got steam water sprayed, and ended up with... her on me. That Zed-stealing, backstabbing, insulting-spewing, self-appointed, close-minded, evil skank!

\He pauses, looks to the side, then lowers his voice.\ "Oh, and ya knoo', Tyler was right about girls in cold weather! Her nipples were hard, eh! And right through the snow jacket too, I didn't that was possible, eh!"

* * *

Ezekiel sipped some hot cocoa that Chef made. "Thanks, Chef."

"No problem, little man," the big man said, patting his kitchen assistant on the shoulder before heading back into the kitchen. Bridgette and a spurred Cody joined him as he drank it down. "So, Zeke," the surfer girl began to say, a sly smirk on her face.

"No, it wasn't fun, I didn't enjoy it, and I'm still in shock over almost freezing to death, eh," he said, rather quickly.

She quirked an eyebrow. "I was going to ask what you thought the challenge was."

"I'm sure ya were, eh," he replied, though he smiled a little. "Probably making snow sculptures."

"Too tame," said Cody.

"Ice skating competition?"

"Possible, but he wouldn't make it snow here if he wanted ice," Bridgette said, drumming her fingers on the table.

Ezekiel stared up at the ceiling. "Something about snow?"

Heather, over at the other table, let out a sneeze. "Maybe it'll be like that stupid sleepless competition from first season," she spat out. "Everyone freezes to death, last one alive wins invincibility."

Cody drummed his fingers together. "You... think he would do that?"

"It's Chris," Heather spat out, "he likes to makes us suffer. If it's not painful torture, it's shackling me up with losers like you people."

"The feeling's mutual, Heather," Bridgette snapped back, rolling her pale green eyes. "Would it kill you to be... I dunno, _not_ insult people every time you open your mouth?"

"Give me one good reason why."

"Karma."

"I don't believe in that sh-"

The door flew open, and Lindsay came running in. The blond beauty threw her arms up in the air with a loud 'whoop,' hitting Heather in the face with a handful of snow.

"You gotta see this," she squealed, leaping up and down. "Duncan peed out his and Courtney's initials in the snow, in a heart," she swooned. "So romantic!"

Heather, shaking the snow off of her, let out a long, disgusted side.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Karma kicks butt!)**

Heather - "I still don't believe in karma."

\The side of the outhouse falls off, and the cold wind and snow blow in on her.\

Heather - \shivering, shaking with rage\ "... That was coincidence!"

* * *

Chris stared at the seventeen campers in front of him. "Well, campers, I see you have been enjoying the snow we have provided. Snowball fights, snowmen, snow angels, and more things with snow. Hope you have been avoiding the ye-"

"Yes, yes," Noah interrupted. "That joke died years ago. And honestly, who would _try_ eating yellow snow?"

He was clobbered by a ton of snowballs, knocking him down. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You'll give him ideas," some of the campers yelled in unison.

"No, nothing like that," Chris said with a chuckle. "Been done before, and we aim for originality.

"Now all you snow bunnies and you snowmen, there are two ways to beat the coldness. One is to find someone to cuddle up with to share body warmth with!"

Lindsay was cuddling up close to Tyler, Izzy was hugging Owen's huggable girth, Gwen was comfortable in Trent's arms, and Courtney was, although trying not to show it, very happy with Duncan's arms around her waist.

However, Chris wasn't looking at any of them. He kept looking between Ezekiel, who was finishing his cocoa, and Heather, who was huddling herself up and shivering hard.

It took a few seconds for the campers to see who Chris was looking at. The murmuring began, and the host's grin got wider.

"Don't worry, hon," Bridgette said, patting Ezekiel's shoulder. "I'm sure that they wouldn't gossip about this; a lot of them are smart enough to know it's just Chris making waves."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - E x H? Is that popular?)**

Harold - \astonished\ "Ezekiel likes Heather?!"

DJ - \incredulous\ "_Ezekiel_ likes Heather?!"

Duncan - \startled\ "Ezekiel _likes_ Heather?!"

Gwen - \surprised\ "Ezekiel likes _Heather_?!"

Lindsay - \dumbfounded\ "Ziggy likes Heather?!"

Beth - \astounded\ "Ethekiel likes Heather?!"

Tyler - \thunderstruck\ "Ezekiel... likes... Heather?!"

Katie - \flabbergasted\ "OhmygoshEzekiellikesHeather?!"

Noah - \horrified\ "Heather likes Ezekiel?"

All nine of them - "... **NAH**!!"

* * *

Heather was livid. "Stop insinuating things, Chris! Chef blasted us with his stupid water gun!"

When the campers started snickering, she nearly screamed. "Just because someone falls on someone doesn't mean there is anything going on! Look!"

She shoved Katie into Noah, knocking the two to the ground with Katie on top of Noah. After the initial startle, the egghead smiled coyly up at the pigtailed girl. "You... maybe want to have coffee sometime?"

Giggling, she gave him a flirty look. "Oh, I dunno. There a coffee shop around here?"

Heather let out a frustrated shout, then turned on Chris. "What's the damn challenge?"

Chris, who was smirking through the whole ordeal, snapped back into announcer mode. "As I was saying, two ways to hold off the cold. The second way... is strong exercise! And what's more exercising than... a war?"

The campers looked very confused by this. "A snowball war." Most of them looked happy by this.

"That's right! You see, we are setting up five forts around the campgrounds, a good distance from each other. Your job in this challenge is for your team to dominate all five of those forts."

"Wait a minute," Courtney spoke up. "How can you take over the forts? It's hard to really force someone to leave."

"Have you ever been pelted with snowballs by a bunch of determined teenagers?" Chris asked. "About five people wailing on you with hard-packed snowballs will make you leave that fort. Or just Eva would enough." The muscular girl beamed at being recognized.

"Well okay," Courtney admitted, though the CIT wasn't done yet. "A lot of us haven't been major snowball pelters, unlike," she poked Duncan, "Mr. Strong Arm here."

"Hate to let you down, princess," the punk said, shrugging, "but I haven't really been known for playing in the snow."

Chris clicked his tongue. "That's okay. We know who are _snow_ experts, and those who are _no_ experts!

"Harold and Katie, you're ice skaters. Gwen, Trent, Cody, DJ... you all are experienced with the snow. Izzy, you... well, let's just say we'll take your word for it. And Zeke, it may have been some time, but a scarring childhood memory is hard to remove."

"You're so funny, eh," Ezekiel replied. He, along with the other campers that Chris mentioned, went to go stand at Chris's left.

"Why thank you! You guys are the Winter Wonders, those experienced with all things frosty! Now for those you who grew up with 'snow' clue:

"Tyler, Noah, Eva, Beth, Lindsay, Courtney, Duncan, Bridgette, and Heather! You guys are Snow Experts!"

"How does pairing all the people who aren't experienced help us out?" Courtney asked, while Noah and Bridgette nodded in agreement.

Chris shook his finger at her. "Don't think I'm doing this because I want a one-sided 'snowbath,' my dear Courtney! You guys are not only have more campers, but you have some of the best muscle and brains. Eva and Duncan's muscles, and Courtney and Heather's brains. Oh, and Heather?"

He smiled and shrugged. "Sorry I couldn't put your new boyfriend on the same team!" Chris chuckled and turned to the other team. "Now you guys are going to start at the Dock of Shame-"

The host was struck in the back of the head by a hard-packed snowball, knocking him down. Looking over at the Snow Experts, he saw Heather looking around innocently, then shrugging at him when he glared.

"Um, anyway," he said as he stood up. "The Winter Wonders will all start at the Dock of Shame, while the Snow Experts will be starting at the boathouse.

"The forts are in front of the boathouse, the bonfire ceremony area, the center of the campgrounds a.k.a. here, the clearing in front of the forest, and in front of the talent stage.

"Do you all have any questions?"

Lindsay raised her hand. "How do you make snowballs again?"

Chris rested his fist against the bridge of his house. "I gotta remember not to ask them if they have questions."

* * *

**(Snow Experts)**

"So," Lindsay approached Heather as the team arrived at the boathouse, "what is it you see in Zenith?"

"Lindsay, go away!"

"Is it his thick accent? His obedient attitude? His toque?"

"I said leave me alone!"

"It's really nice you like the new guy. I didn't see him during TDI!"

Heather slammed her fists against the boathouse. "Stop! Talking! About it!"

"I agree with her on this," Noah said to the others. "Discussing Heather's love life is making me nauseous."

He was fast enough to dodge the snowball that the queen bee chucked at him. With a dry chuckle, the egghead crossed his arms. "Nice try, Heather. Care to try throwing some more as a warm-up?"

Beth was blowing on her hands to keep warm. "Tho, what is the game plan? Courtney?"

"Uh... oh," the CIT looked surprised when Beth asked her, mostly since she barely knew the farm girl. "I... don't think I'm too good at violent activity like this. Duncan?"

The punk looked surprised. "Me? Hmmm, I always dreamed of this. Leading troops into war, asking them to put their lives on the line."

"Comforting," the brunette replied, slapping her forehead. "Heather, you want to..."

She stopped when she saw that Heather was chasing after Noah, who was loudly singing, "Heather and Zeke, sitting in the trees..."

"Okay then," Courtney said, turning back to her boyfriend. "Duncan, how about you and Eva give us a few pointers, and tell us what we should do?"

Eva was surprised to hear her name. "Me? You want me to lead?"

"You feel up to it?"

"Hell yeah, I feel up to it," Eva shouted, clapping her hands. "I don't care how many years those upstarts played in the snow, they are going down!"

* * *

**(Winter Wonders)**

"Gwen, you got this one?" Cody asked the goth girl.

"Yes, I'm good," she said, grinning wickedly. "I think my years of experience with my little brother have prepared me for this."

DJ slapped her on the back, gentle to not knock over the much smaller girl. "You go, girl! Got a plan?"

"I do, indeed! But I have a few questions for you all! DJ, are you going to be okay with throwing snowballs as hard as you can at your friends and former teammates?"

"I believe I can."

"Cody, Harold, you two still feel like using your ninja skills to ambush people?"

The two boys nodded, though Cody winked as well and grinned.

"Katie, Izzy, do you mind staying at the bonfire base to defend it?"

The tan-skinned girl nodded, while the redhead looked a little disappointed. "But I wanted to go pulverize my enemies into a finer powder than the snow their blood would be collected in."

Gwen looked more than a little disturbed by this.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - You make us dizzy, Miss Izzy!)**

Gwen - "Maybe she's just the type of girl who likes to do and say things that shock people. But the way she says things makes me want to hide in a bomb shelter."

* * *

The goth girl shook her head. "Errr, just be nice with Katie, okay?"

The BFFF hugged the redhead from behind. "We get along just fine."

"That's good. Now Trent, you're with me, that's okay?"

"As always, Gwen."

"And Ezekiel," the goth turned to the prairie boy, and her green lips spread into a wicked smirk.

There was a long pause, then Gwen lost her smile. "It's no fun if you don't start protesting over what you haven't been accused of yet."

"I figured that you of all people knoo' how no respectable guy would be involved with her, eh."

"Hey now, I didn't think you were respectable."

Ezekiel couldn't help but laugh when she grinned playfully. "Seriously now," she said. "I'd like you to ambush who they leave at their base, and take it over."

"You think they'll leave two like we did, eh?"

"Possibly. But I think with luck, they'll leave one person.

"You gotta think like the enemy," she continued, tapping her temple, "and though I don't know Eva that well, I think she and Duncan have the same strategy of Rush Them and Kick the Crap out of Them!"

"And of course," Izzy spoke up suddenly, "both Duncan and Eva are not going to be on the defense!"

"Um, y-yes," Gwen stammered, surprised by the crazy girl's intervene. "I'm guessing it will be something they think will be dependent enough, like Tyler or Bridgette. You know, your actual crush!"

"Will you stop, eh?" Ezekiel cried out as some of his teammates chuckled. "Geoff will be watching this at Playa des Losers, and I'm certain he won't like that, eh."

"You're too polite nowadays," the goth girl remarked, cocking one of her eyebrows. "Where's the nose picking redneck I used to know?"

"I'd pick my nose to make you happy, but...," the prairie boy sighed, "I think the snot froze in my nostrils, eh."

"Ewww, that's more like it," she said, clapping lightly. "Alright, guys and gals, we need to win this for one very big reason, bigger than the fact that we'd have to vote one of us off if we lose.

"To them voting off Heather!"

"To them voting off Heather," they all cheered.

* * *

Chris, standing in the center of the campgrounds, watched Owen make a donut-shaped fort. Though the host knew that he had told Owen to make a circular fort, he had to draw the line at Owen putting sprinkle-shaped snow clumps on the fort.

"Why can't I, boss?" the cheerful guy asked him.

"Because I'm certain you would eat the fort then."

"Aww, I'm not that dumb. That'd cause some major brain freeze."

Chris realized that Owen might not be as utterly clueless as he thought him to be, though he still was pretty slow; he _had_ eaten three snowballs, thinking they were powdered donuts. The host felt a little mean telling him that lie each time.

"Okay, Owen, it's only a few more minutes until this challenge starts," Chris said, looking at his watch. "This should be the challenge I've been asking Santa for!"

He turned to the camera. "For you folks at home, we leave these dire questions to be answered...

--

"**Who do you think is Katie's crush: Noah, Cody, or Ezekiel? Think you'll get to find out this day?**

"**Who is going to win this contest: the tougher, more numerous rookies... or the more experienced, outnumbered snow veterans?**

"**And are you amused by the idea of Heather and Ezekiel? Or is it making you physically ill and ready to send in angry e-mails in protest?"**

--

**Part 2 coming soon! We're cleaning the next chapter with a zamboni, so stay cool!**

* * *

--

--

--

Here are the two teams, in case you need a reminder:

**Snow Experts** (not experienced with snow) - Tyler, Heather, Noah, Eva, Beth, Lindsay, Courtney, Bridgette, Duncan

**Winter Wonders** (experienced with snow) - Harold, DJ, Gwen, Trent, Katie, Ezekiel, Cody, Izzy


	19. Day 6, Part 2: Another Bad Snow Pun Here

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Many sodas were consumed during the making of this story.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**alienphantom** - \pats your shoulder\ We are all guilty of making puns about the cold. Anyone who says they don't is a liar.

**Dementous** - Wow, the first person to be driven ill by my story. Woohoo!

**Sam7418** - It was from an anonymous giver, and the pony's name was Spatula. Cannot tell you about Heather, Izzy may be psycho but she's so pretty and fun that you don't care she's a little wacko, and the jelly bean smuggler is a mystery still.

**QJD1381** - Thanks for the reviews dude! But would you mind editing out that strong word in your second review? I'd like to keep the reviews a little more friendly.

**Imagi** - Second to be driven ill, I'm heading up to Fear Factor level (not that I ever watched that, ew). About your idea, I do like it. Redemption is an interesting idea, but I do have a lot of ideas planned out. Ya never know, though! \evil little eyebrow raise\

**CandySox** - Randomness rofls my wofls, so it is good. Woot!

**Everybody Else** - Y'all don't expect me to _tell_ you when things are going to happen, do you? No no, you ain't getting a cheat sheet for my story, just the little hints up here and in the story.

And now, on with the show!!

--

--

--

* * *

**Chapter 19 (Day 06, Part 2)** - It's Total Drama... On Ice!

--

"Campers, are you all ready?" Chris said over the intercom. "Doesn't matter if you're not, because it's time to...

"**GO**!"

Izzy and Katie were at the bonfire snow fort within seconds. Lindsay and Tyler positioned themselves at the boathouse snow fort. All the other campers bolted out into the snow, ready to pummel their opponents silly.

Chris Maclean was sitting in front of several screens, which monitored the five forts. He looked over at the camera and grinned.

"Before the challenge begins," he said, "I asked some of the campers to say in the confessional can what their strategy is going to be."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The seventeen-man raid.)**

**(Snow Experts)**

Lindsay - "Tyrell and I are going to defend the boathouse fort. Maybe when we're alone together, he'll open up to me with some things that have been bothering me. I just haven't had the courage to ask him until now."

Eva - "I am not going to be slowed down by any of those weaklings. I'm taking the forest fort alone."

Heather - "I don't like Ezekiel! I don't, I don't, I don't! Don't any you _dare_ say I do!"

Duncan - "Noah and I will be going after the bonfire fort. At first I thought that unenthusiastic bookworm would slow me down, but taunting Heather brought out a bit of excitement in him."

Bridgette - "Courtney and I will be after the campground fort. It seems rather dangerous, since it's in the middle, but we can handle them!"

Beth - "Heather and I are taking the talent stage thnow fort. I know that thee ith a major pain, but it'th for the good of the team."

--

**(Winter Wonders)**

Ezekiel - "My job is to claim the boathouse fort. I'll be all alone, but I knoo' that I'll be good, eh. Even if it's Eva, Duncan, or Bridgette, I'll be gettin' that fort!"

Gwen - "Trent and I are heading for the stage fort. We are more than certain we can handle who ever is there."

Harold - "Fellow ninja Cody and I are going to attack the campground fort! We're going, if I may allow myself a bit of nerd speak, to NINJA that fort!"

DJ - "Gwen asked me to take the forest fort. She said it would be okay, but I'm a little concerned. I cannot shake this feeling that I'll be walking into something... scary!"

Izzy - "Katie and I will defend the bonfire fort with our lives! Our _lives_, I tell you! Why? Because...

"_THEY'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!!_"

* * *

**(The Campground Fort)**

Bridgette and Courtney arrived at the campground fort, and slid into the center of the circular fort.

"So...," Bridgette began, smiling, "how are things with you and Duncan?"

"Fine."

"Aww, c'mon, Courtney," the surfer girl said, elbowing her friend. "Shy? Level with me."

"Our relationship is...," the CIT looked away, her tan face getting a little darker, "well..."

"It's gotta be good, right?" Bridgette giggled. "I mean, you were snuggling him pretty close."

"I was cold!"

The two girls missed a snowball hitting the side of the fort. "Well, it's still really cute," the surfer gal said. "I wish Geoff was here, I could use someone to snuggle up with in this weather."

Courtney hung her head in shame, just in time for a light snowball to fly over her head. She didn't notice it, because what Bridgette said was distracting her a great deal.

"Hmmph," the brunette said, brushing the snow off her gray snowsuit as she began to pack a snowball. "Why don't you ask Ezekiel?"

The blond surfer looked startled, whipping her head around. Her thick ponytail swatted another snowball away from her, but she was oblivious to it.

"Courtney, now that's not nice. Ezekiel's my friend."

"He is _so_ crushing on you, Bridge!"

The CIT threw her hands up in the air, tossing her snowball into the air. By some wild coincidence, it hit another snowball in midair, obliterating both.

"Dang," Harold cursed from the Killer Bass cabin, "that's the fourth snowball they've managed to dodge, and they don't know we're here! Cody, you gonna throw one or not?"

Cody peeped out from behind the Screaming Gophers cabin. "It's hard for me to hit a girl in the face with a snowball after the whole cheerleader thing."

"C'mon!"

Meanwhile, the girls continued their discussion. "Surely you've noticed that Ezekiel likes you," Courtney continued as she packed another snowball. When she saw the look of doubt in the blond girl's face, she cried out, "C'mon, he's so into you!"

"He's still just my friend," Bridgette said, surprised by her friend's comments. "Are you mad at him about our first day here or something?"

"Kind of," the brunette admitted. "I just don't like him, and I think he's with you too much. A little like Cody with Gwen, only not as helpless."

Cody frowned. "Hey, now..."

"I mean, Bridgette, you should let him down gently," Courtney continued. "Just let him know that you are with Geoff. Just like Cody and Gwen, there's no way he's going to-"

She was struck in the face by a snowball. Cody cackled and throw another, hitting her in the shoulder before ducking out of view again. Bridgette managed to duck in time to avoid Harold's snowball, then started packing a snowball of her own.

"Zeke knows Geoff and I are together," the surfer cried. She peeked over the edge, but didn't see either of the boys. "You should really get to know him, he's a nice guy!"

"He can't be if he likes Heather," Courtney replied, giggling as she wiped the snow from her face. She was struck by three snowballs, knocking her down to the snowy floor. "God! Let's kill those boys!"

"Will do," Bridgette shouted as she chucked a frosty projectile at Harold, but he managed to duck out of the way.

* * *

**(The Stage Fort)**

The stage fort was a circular snow fort in front of the performance stage. Beth and Heather had managed to reach their first, and now were settled in. The farm girl was doing her best to keep watch, but Heather was less than enthusiastic about the fort right now.

"Beth," she said as she, as usual, filed her nails, "if you say one thing about Ezekiel, I will make your life on this island as painful, embarrassing, and horrifying as possible! Got it?"

Beth wanted to be brave, but Heather's eyes and voice were too intimidating for the shorter girl. With a slow nod, she tried to focus on looking out. Her focus was snapped when she heard Heather's compact open.

"Your make-up?" Beth cried as he looked over at the queen bee. "Can't you focuth on the challenge?"

"No, I refuse to look bad in this god awful weather," she snapped as she started on her eyebrows. "You may not care, pig girl, but the cameras are always rolling."

Beth bristled at this, but tried to keep her temper. "You do realithe that they could hit you in the face with thnowballs."

"I don't care about 'thnowballs,' because you're the one who'll be taking them while we're here," Heather said as she powdered her face. "And if your face gets bruised, it might improve your looks."

That did it for Beth. "Well, if your stupid face geth bruithed, I gueth that means Ethekiel won't make out with you anymore!"

Heather froze (even more, since it was so cold). She slowly raised her head, the most furious of looks on her face. "How... dare... you!"

"I dare, I dare!"

Heather put away her compact, her furious eyes never leaving Beth. The two girls began to pack up snowballs. Big, hard snowballs with the others' name carved into it. When Gwen and Trent spied in on the stage fort, they saw the two girls wailing on each other with snowballs.

"Do we ever need to try with Heather on the other team?" Gwen asked her boyfriend; she had that sly, sexy smirk on her face that he loved.

"I don't think so," he replied. He winced when the ravenhair took a particularly big snowball to the face. "You know, Beth has a good throwing arm," Trent remarked.

"You go, Beth girl," Gwen whispered in a cheer. "Smack that make-up off Heather's stupid face!"

* * *

**(The Forest Fort)**

DJ arrived at the fort at the clearing in front of the forest. He made himself comfortable in the center of the fort, looking around for any approaching enemies.

A squirrel scampered on the top of the snow fort, chattering like the rodent it was. A white fox brushed against the side, curling up happily. A couple blue birds landed on the side, happy to be part of a friendly community.

The football player smiled and leaned against the side. He was home.

"Hey!"

A blue sneaker stomped down on the snow in front of the fort; the ground managed to shake. Snow fell off the trees, the animals froze in terror, and DJ huddled up in terror.

Eva was standing there, fists clenched, hissing in fury. "What are you doing in this fort, DJ?"

"N-N-Nothing," the big guy whimpered.

"That's right," she growled, then pointed furiously at him. "Now GET OUT!!"

The animals bolted in terror, the rest of the snow fell off the trees, and the gentle giant scurried into the forest with the animals.

Eva grinned, then settled down in the fort. She juggled a snowball in one hand, chuckling to herself. "Didn't even have to throw one."

DJ was hiding under a bush, whimpering and shaking. He kept cursing himself for his cowardice, pounding the snowy ground in sad frustration.

A white rabbit hopped over to him, staring at him with big, innocent eyes. It stood up on its hind legs, and thumped its chest with one of its forepaws.

"Be... brave?" DJ whimpered to the rabbit. "But I can't. She's so mean and tough and big!" The rabbit let out a sad chatter.

_Then, suddenly, from out of nowhere, without warning, unexpected, abruptly_... a hawk swooped down at the rabbit, talons outstretched!

The white rabbit performed a spinning jump kick, knocking the bird out of flight. Then, with a follow-up pounce, the rabbit knocked the bird away. With a pained squawk, the bird of prey flew off.

DJ stared as the rabbit struck a kung-fu pose, then exhaled. When it turned to the football player, there was a moment of silence.

"Yeah...," DJ began to say. "Yeah! We all have to stand up against the big bad predators of the world, or we'll be eaten! I won't let Eva eat me!"

Eva, who was still relaxing in the fort, heard some heavy footfalls behind her. She looked around to see DJ holding a boulder of snow over his head, a determined grin on his head.

"Oh...," Eva began, "son of a b-" She was covered by snow with a huge, snowy 'thump.'

* * *

**(The Bonfire Base)**

Katie was all alone at the Bonfire Base when the first snowballs were thrown. She huddled up in the inside as the projectiles doofed on the side.

"Alright, Katie," Duncan called out to her. "You might want to surrender! We know you're the only one here, and we'll pummel you black 'n blue unless you let us our base."

"Oh?" the BFFF called back. "What makes you think I'm alone?"

Noah and Duncan, hiding behind a boulder, exchanged confused looks. A twig snapped behind him, and they turned around slowly.

Izzy stood there, her jacket shredded like if she had been attacked by a wild creature. Her hair was tousled, she had mud and war paint smeared on her face, had what looked like a dead wolverine draped over her shoulders, and was holding three snowballs in each hand.

Her grin almost covered her face. "Hello, boy-yos," she growled, never losing her grin.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Wolverine the animal, not the mutant.)**

Izzy - "For the record, it wasn't a real, dead wolverine. It was a fake, dead wolverine. I'm not sure how they killed a fake wolverine, but my family is so talented! I am so lucky to inherit their creative genes!"

* * *

**(The Campground Fort)**

Bridgette and Courtney continued to hold off Harold and Cody, though the two girls were covered in much more snow than the boys.

"C'mon, Courtney, get the snow out," the surfer girl shouted as she tossed another frosty projectile at Cody. "Hit 'em, smack 'em!"

"I'm trying," the CIT shouted.

_Then, suddenly, from out of nowhere, without warning, unexpected, abruptly..._ two people leapt into the campground fort. The two girls screamed and pelted the invaders with snow.

"Stop that, princess, it's me!"

"Duncan?"

The mohawked punk nodded, wiping off the snow on his clothes. "Boy, you girls are mean when ambushed."

Bridgette grabbed Noah, who was dazed and groaning, by the shoulders and shook him slightly. "What happened to you two? You were supposed to get the bonfire fort! Noah, what's wrong with you? And... and Duncan...

"Where are your pants?"

The punk looked down at his bare legs, while the surfer girl tried hard not to laugh at his skull 'n crossbone polka-dotted boxers. Duncan growled angrily and let out a long sigh. "I knew Izzy was crazy, but I didn't think she'd take my pants."

"With the way you wear them, I'm surprised they didn't fall off earlier," Noah muttered.

Courtney was about to blow a gasket. "Duncan, go put your pants back on!"

Harold and Cody heard this while hiding behind the cafeteria building; they exchanged incredulous looks. "What are they _doing_ over there?" Cody whispered to his teammate.

"Sorry, princess, but I don't know where they are," Duncan said with a shrug. He leaned back and grinned smugly. "Want to warm up my legs? It's cold out here without anything on my legs."

"Duncan, get your hormones in check," Courtney shouted.

A snowball whizzed over her head. She shrieked and grabbed hold of Duncan's snowsuit, clinging to him. Another one hit the side of the fort, just over her head. She whimpered as she clung to him.

After some scared panting, Courtney wrapped her arms around Duncan and started kissing him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Whoa.)**

Courtney - "Okay, I have to admit. Danger is really hot. \sighs\ I wish I had more control over myself."

* * *

Noah and Bridgette exchanged glances as Duncan and Courtney made out in the snow fort. "You're taken, right?" the egghead asked the surfer. She gave him an odd look, and nodded; he raised his hands in defense and said, "Just trying to tell a joke now, don't be offended."

A snowball hit him in the back of the head. He rubbed the spot where it hit and scowled. "What are we dealing with, Bridgette?"

"Harold and Cody have been playing ninja with us," the surfer said as she gathered up some snow. "We've been okay in holding them off so far, but with you two, we could drive them away."

"You've still only got two," Noah remarked, jerking his thumb at the smooching couple.

"I guess you're right," Bridgette remarked as she looked over at them. While she continued to scowl in determination and create a surplus of snowballs, she couldn't help but think, "_Oh man... do I miss Geoff._"

* * *

**(The Boathouse Fort)**

Ezekiel had climbed up in the trees nearby the boathouse. Using agility and skill that he was pretty sure was all luck, he managed to head from tree to tree until he was near that clearing in front of the boathouse.

He knocked snow out of the trees with every jump, but he was fairly silent altogether. When he could see Tyler and Lindsay, he began to gather up snow on the branches for snowballs.

"_This is perfect, eh_," he thought to himself. "_I'll just build up a stockade of snoo'balls in this tree, then I'll let loose on them! I'll aim for Tyler, because Lindsay won't take much to scare._"

After gathering enough snowballs, he twiddled his fingers eagerly. The two weren't looking up at him, so he was certain they know he was there. "_Better wait until they're distracted,_" he thought. "_Soo'ry, Tyler bud'day, but I gotta win this._"

"Tobiah," Lindsay was saying, "I have to ask you something."

The athlete shrugged, still holding his shivering girlfriend. "Go ahead, babe."

"How... how come you don't wear your sports jersey anymore?" she asked. "Did you lose it in the dryer? I've lost a few socks that way."

Tyler looked nervous by this question. He rubbed his lips in thought, then let out a long sigh; a frosty cloud appeared before his mouth, which Lindsay waved away.

"Well, it's not a happy story," he admitted. "I mean, I still got one of those red jerseys in my bags, but I didn't want to wear it while I was here."

"Huh?" Lindsay had on a look of confusion, which as common for her but justifiable now. "Why? Is it out of style?"

The jock looked more nervous now. "Lindsay... do you live with both your parents?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do... any of your friends have divorced parents?"

"Um," the blond tapped her forehead, doing what was sometimes very difficult for her to do: think. "Uh... oh yeah! My friend Delta... her parents are divorced. Why?"

"My parents are divorced," Tyler said. He was tracing the line of his sweatband intrepidly. "I've lived with my dad for most of my life, and never saw my mom ever since the divorce.

"Until after Total Drama Island."

"She came back?" Lindsay said, smiling and clapping. She stopped when she saw Tyler wasn't smiling either. "Um, isn't that good? Didn't you want to see your mom?"

"It wasn't a happy reunion."

Ezekiel knew he should attack now for tactical reasons, and he knew he shouldn't listen in for moral reasons; he couldn't do either.

"Mom came to our house shortly after I got back from TDI. She was furious, absolutely screaming mad at my father. She kept," he threw his hands up as if to cry out for help, "yelling about how my dad was helping my throw my life away with sports.

"She was saying how horrible it was to see me humiliate myself on national TV. How she couldn't believe my dad led me to believe I was good at sports when I was wiping out when water skiing, getting pounded in dodge ball, tying myself up with my yo-yo... or..."

He stopped listing, breathing hard. Lindsay had her hands scrunched up over her heart. Ezekiel was trying not to breathe too hard.

"She was shouting about how she didn't want him to raise me like that anymore, that she wouldn't let me embarrass myself anymore," he slung a fistful of snow over the side of the fort. "She was even yelling at me, saying I couldn't deny it any more that... I was terrible at sports, that I should give up before I made a complete fool of myself, if I hadn't already."

Lindsay gasped. Ezekiel's jaw dropped. That was a low blow, in both their eyes.

"Yeah, she tried to rip it out of me, she went to my room and started tearing it apart. I was... I couldn't bring myself to stop her, but my dad was trying. It was this terrible experience, seeing them fight so hard over me.

"I wanted them to stop so much, but the fighting continued. When she wasn't shouting at him, she was shouting at me and she didn't stop at my home. She called my school, she told them not to let me in on any of the sports teams: football, swimming, hockey, basketball..."

He hissed in air, covering his face with his hand. Ezekiel couldn't see it, but Lindsay could: that tear coming down from his misty eyes. It froze over, and it stayed there on his cheek.

"I had been waiting for my mom to come back for about twelve years, and opened up all the wounds I had. If it wasn't about sports, she was shouting at me about my 'stupid' fear of chickens, that I lost TDI when the contest had barely started... and... about you and..."

"What about me?" Lindsay asked, her voice light.

"She was saying some things that I didn't believe... that you wouldn't remember me at all after the contest. I kept trying to call you so you could talk to her, so I could prove her wrong... but..."

He stopped suddenly, and she managed to complete his sentence. "I... I was busy. I was doing a lot of stuff after TDI, like interviews and stuff. I'm... I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, because I stopped trying. I was... in this stupid funk from then until this season. My mom wouldn't leave my dad and I alone, and school was a nightmare too. People... no, you can probably guess."

Lindsay didn't know. She was always popular, and she was so nice and ignorant that she didn't see the unpopular kids suffer. The blond beauty shook her head, ashamed of her ignorance.

It was quiet for a few seconds. Lindsay was the first to speak up. "You know, Tyler... it's not really my place to say... but your mom... she kind of reminds me of Heather."

"Say wha'?" Tyler asked, looking perplexed by this comment.

"Well I mean, she's not part of your life for years, and years is a very, very, very, _very_ long time," Lindsay exclaimed. "She didn't show up until now, and when she shows up, she's bossing you around and telling you what to do.

"That... doesn't seem like something a mother should do. If she was really concerned about you, she would have tried to help you. Instead, she was demanding, like if you were something she had to come straighten out."

The blond beauty put her hands on his shoulders tenderly. "You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. I mean, everyone has edges to trim, that's true. I mean, I hate my elbows, and when I try to write poetry, it takes me forever to find words to rhyme.

"But if your mom really cared about you, she would have tried to actually help than control your life. It sounds like how Heather wanted me to be her friend: something to use, something to control, and something that wouldn't do something she didn't like.

"You know how she didn't want me seeing you?"

"I still have a memory scar from when she hit my with the canoe."

"Well, it didn't stop me, did it?" Lindsay said. She raised her finger and brushed away the frozen tear from his cheek. "Your mom shouldn't be telling you what to do if she's not part of your life."

Tyler smiled, adjusting his headband nervously. "I... never thought of it that way."

Lindsay grinned, batting her eyes. "You big silly... Tyler!"

They leaned in to kiss.

"THEY'RE COMING," Beth shouted, running in from the trees. She and Heather were almost coated in snow, and looking quite scared. Gwen was behind them, throwing snowballs.

Tyler and Lindsay panicked, hiding behind the fort walls. Heather and Beth leapt in, knocking the couple apart.

"They came outta nowhere," Beth was wailing. "And Gwen doethn't stop throwing thnowballs! She'th like a machine!"

"How bad could she be?" Tyler asked; he was struck on top of the head with a heavy snowball.

Ezekiel from the trees let out a cheer, then lost his balance and fell out of the tree, next to Gwen. "Hey, Zeke," she shouted as she chucked more icy projectiles. "What were you doing up there?"

"Tactical position, eh," he said, dazed and confused. He wobbled to get up on his feet. "What happened to the base you were supposed to be taking?"

"Trent's there, I took up the pursuit," she cackled. "It's so easy to fight the enemy when they're fighting each other!"

"Beth and Heather were fighting? What aboo't, eh?"

"What else? You, lover boy!"

Ezekiel flushed, then was cooled down immediately as he was struck in the face by a snowball.

"Cover me, cover me," Tyler shouted as he left the base. "I gotta get something!"

"Get back here, you dickweed," Heather yelled at him, standing up to shake her fist at the retreating jock.

"Don't call Tyler names!"

Lindsay grabbed Heather by her hair and yanked her down. Gwen and Ezekiel just watched as Beth and Lindsay started pounding Heather with snow.

"This is almost too easy," Gwen said as she leaned against a tree to watch the fighting. She and Ezekiel exchanged glances, then 'toasted' with their snowballs.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - This really isn't Heather's day, now is it?)**

Heather - \an absolute mess\ - "I've had it, I've had it with that stupid blond and that lisping pig girl and that loser jock! I am gonna vote them all off if it kills me!"

* * *

**(The Campground Fort)**

Bridgette and Noah were in a panic as Harold and Cody's assault, and not relenting in the least. Duncan and Courtney were still making out, and the two actually throwing snowballs were a little distracted by the two swapping spit.

"Will you two stop making out?" Noah shouted for the umpteenth time. "My God, I never thought I'd ask someone _that_ in my life."

Cody was standing in front of the Killer Bass's cabin, right in front of the boy's side. This was a mistake because the door swung open, knocking the skinny geek off of the porch.

It was Tyler, and he was wearing his red jersey clothes that he had worn for the first season (cue the fanfare).

"Oh wow, look at that," Bridgette shouted, pointing at the jock. "He's back! Tyler's back!"

The brunette jock juggled a snowball in his hand, and he hurled it with incredible speed and accuracy. It hit Noah square in the face.

"No no no, Tyler," the blond surfer shouted. "Noah's on our side!"

"Whoops. Sorry!"

The jock leapt over the side, scooped up snow, and pursued Cody with snowball after snowball. Bridgette and Noah concentrated on Harold.

"Attention, campers," Chris's cocky voice filled the air. "The Winter Wonders have conquered all the bases except for the Campground Fort! Better get some bases back, Snow Experts!"

Noah's eye twitched. "Alright, no more Mr. Nice Egghead!" He grabbed Courtney from behind and yanked her away from Duncan, causing a loud slurping sound. "Pardon me, CIT and P.U.N.K, but this is our last base! So get off your hormones and get-"

Several snowballs hit him in the back of the head. With a woozy moan, he hit the snowy floor. Gwen and Cody high-fived before continuing their assault.

Bridgette was now ducking inside the fort, hoping this would all be over soon. Duncan and Courtney also panicked, huddling up to each other.

"Do the mortals fear death?"

Izzy's redheaded top peered over the top, grinning maniacally. The fake, dead wolverine fell down on the dazed Noah's lap as she stood on top. "Izzy comes to claim your souls! BLARGH!"

Bridgette was thrown up in the air and out of the fort. She landed in the snow, dazed and amazed. Courtney was next out of the fort, then Duncan ran out shouting with Izzy clinging to his shirt, demanding it. Cody quickly took this opportunity to race over to the fort and leapt in it.

"And that's the game," Chris's voice came over the intercom again, shaking the snow from the trees and rooftops. "With Katie, DJ, Trent, Zeke, and Cody in the five forts, the Winter Wonders take it all!"

Cheer echoed all around the island from the winning team.

* * *

Chris eyed the campers, his grin as wide as ever. "You all look like you got caught in a snow avalanche, guys! But the losing team... woohoo! Way to take some damage for the ratings! We appreciate you lots!"

The Snow Experts did look worse for wear. Lindsay, Beth, and Eva were covered in snow; Heather and Noah was bruised and dazed; Courtney and Bridgette looked unsteady; and Duncan was still missing his pants.

"Gotta say, the only one of you who looks good is Tyler who," the host shouted as he slung his arm around the jock, "is back in his red threads! It's great to have our jock back, bra!"

Tyler, as well as his friends, let out a wild cheer. Heather, frustrated beyond belief, smacked him in the back of the head. "We lost, stop cheering!"

"Now for your follow-up challenge," Chris said, pacing in front of the seventeen campers. "We like to call it _Snow More Sculptures_! You all are going to making works of art with snow!

"But there is a little twist! The winners are going to be judged by generous, easy to please me! The losing team..."

The handsome host's grin got very wide. "Will be judged by Chef Hatchet!"

Chef, still in his pink snowsuit, grinned as the losing team gasped in horror. They all knew how hard someone like Chef was to please, not to mention how full of hate and spite and an anti-camper attitude.

"Before you all start your sculptures, we invite you all into the warm cafeteria. Cold water for the losers to drink, while the winners get some hot cocoa and Christmas cookies!"

He turned to the camera as the campers shuffled in. "Yes, I said 'Christmas'! This show ain't PC, baby!"

* * *

"Any idea what you're going to make, princess?" Duncan asked the tan-skinned CIT.

"No, not really. How do you impress someone like Chef?" Courtney let out a long sigh. "We really screwed up today."

"Was fun, though," the punk replied, grinning.

"Hormone bags, both of you," Noah grumbled as he sipped his water. He was standing in front of the keg of cold water, enjoying it more than the others.

"Seriously," he continued, "did the Killer Bass have to turn a hose on you two?"

Courtney glared at him while Duncan's grin got wider. Some of the other Snow Experts, like Bridgette and Tyler, chuckled at this.

"I don't know about you guys," Eva said, "but I think appealing to the judge would be best. Try to relate to him."

"Maybe he's a real softy deep down," Lindsay said, holding onto Tyler happily. "Chef Ratchet may just act mean to cover up a big, loving heart."

_Then, suddenly, from out of nowhere, without warning, unexpected, abruptly..._ the whole cafeteria shook.

Many peoples' drinks ended up in their laps. Chef poked his head out from the kitchen and said, "Cockroach. Used the fridge to crush it."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - That's one way to do it.)**

Noah - "That's one hell of a giant heart he must be hiding if Lindsay is right."

Tyler - \lets out a long, happy sigh\ "I am just so happy now, I could get voted off and still consider it a good day."

Lindsay - "It is so _great_ that Tyler is back in his jersey! It's like he's back to normal! And no more Hawaiian shirts! \she squeals in joy\

* * *

The Winter Wonders team, though just as startled by the building shaking, were still laughing and chattering. Katie and Izzy were jabbering the fastest out of the teammates complimenting each other.

"I especially liked how you managed to defeat Eva, DJ," Trent said, slapping the big guy on the back.

"I was pretty sure I was going to be dead," the football player said as he stroked Bunny's fur. "But hey, we all have to face predators some day."

Most of his teammates didn't get this, but Izzy was nodding and smiling wistfully.

"Impressing the girl back home, eh?" Ezekiel spoke up, cocking an eyebrow.

"I hope Leshawna was watching," Harold said, happily chewing on a cookie.

"Shame some of us had to take on the people we were dating," Gwen said, grinning that wicked goth grin.

This confused most of the team again, so Gwen had to explain. "Haven't you all forgotten? Heather was on the other team, and Zeke had to fight her."

The ravenhair at the other side heard this, and her eye twitch; her last nerve had been frayed. With strength even she wasn't aware of, she grabbed the keg at her table, yanked the lid off, and poured all the chilly water on Ezekiel.

There was silence. Heather dropped the empty keg on the floor and shouted, "For the last time! I! Don't! Like him!!"

Ezekiel, shivering and soaked, snapped as well. Slamming his fists on the table, he shouted, "That's it, eh! Someone's gotta be the ay-dult around here, and I ain't waiting for someone else to do it!"

He stood up, grabbed Heather by the jacket, and pulled her towards the kitchen. The ravenhair was slapping, screaming, and clawing, but the prairie boy didn't relent. Chef was quick to exit out the back door as the two entered.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one gets dragged in here.)**

Tyler - \astonished\ "I don't know about the others, but all I could think was 'he's going to kill her'!"

DJ - \incredulous\ "He's _going_ to kill her!"

Duncan - \startled\ "He's going to _kill_ her!"

Harold - \surprised\ "He's going to kill _her_!"

Lindsay - \dumbfounded\ "Esteban's going to kill her!"

Gwen - \thunderstruck\ "He's going to kill her, and not let me to!"

Katie - \flabbergasted\ "OhmiGodhe'sgoingtokillher!"

Beth - \astounded\ "He'th going to kill her!"

Noah - \matter-o-factly\ "He's going to kill her."

All nine of them - "... **YAY**!!"

* * *

Ezekiel shoved Heather against the wall, glaring at her pointblank in the eye. Water streamed down from his hair and toque, and though he was shivering hard, his grip was tight on her snowsuit.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?" Heather whimpered.

"I'm considering it, eh," he hissed, his voice low. "But I'm going to ask a favor of you."

"W-What?"

"I ask you to stop acting like this, this stupid behavior that you have to proo'v what people say isn't troo, eh! Just because they're saying it don't make it fact."

Heather stared at her, one of the most incredulous looks ever on her face. "What planet did you grow up on?" she asked. "Don't you know how it is among people?"

"No, remember? I'm home schooled, eh," he replied. "I know that makes me ignorant in a lot of areas of 'teenspeak' and what's cool, but I do know this:

"You let people annoy you if you let them, eh. So long as you continue to let them knoo' it annoys you, they're gonna keep it up, eh!"

"I am not...," the queen bee retorted, "going to let them think that there is something going on between you and me! The thought makes me nauseous."

"So you don't like me, eh?"

"No!"

"Then it shouldn't annoy you when they say that, 'cuz it's not troo. Just because they're saying it doesn't make it fact."

Heather stared at him as if he was bonkers. Where she came from, if people were saying it was true, that must mean it were true.

"Okay look, I knoo' you hate me, eh. Gwen knoo's you hate me, everyone knoo's it! So here's a tip: you stop acting like Courtney when she was trying to deny she liked Duncan, and people won't stop insinuating you like me!"

Heather continued to stare, blinking a whole lot. She wondered who this boy in front of her, holding her by the jacket was.

"Oh, and you wear too much make-up, eh," he added, wiggling his finger in front of false eyelashes. "Some of you girls are silly like that, you knoo'. It's freezing oot', we're in the middle of snoo'ball, and you're made up to win _Are You Hot or Not?_, eh."

The Asian-Canadian continued to stare at the prairie guy before finally speaking again. "Why are you telling me this, you... you... boy?"

"Mainly because the next time someone teases you about this, I doo'nt want you to proo'v how much you doo'nt like me, eh. Deal?"

The queen bee continued to stare, and only then realized she, the queen bee, was being intimidated by a boy, one that was a few inches shorter than her even. Despite it all, she let out a long sigh. "Deal, home school. Now will you please let go of my jacket?"

"Alright then. Soo'ry aboo't that, eh."

"Yeah, yeah, no 'proo'blem'," she retorted as she brushed off her jacket. When she looked behind Ezekiel, her eyes widened.

The prairie boy looked around too, and saw that all seventeen campers, Owen, Chris, Chef, and Bunny were watching from the doorway and the service window.

"You didn't kill her," Eva shouted, throwing her fists up in indignation. "What a gyp!!"

"Okay campers, break it up, break it up," Chris called out, clapping his hands. The campers headed back to the tables except for Tyler, who was glaring at him because the host had been pushing him to get a better view.

"Nice job, dude," the jock said as he slapped the prairie boy's shoulder.

"Thanks, eh," he replied, a little flushed in the face. "And by the way, it's great to see you back in your sports clothes."

"I got the urge back, man. Though of course," the brunette athlete raised an eyebrow, "you know why."

Ezekiel swallowed nervously and tapped his fingers together. "Um... aboo't that... I didn't mean to-"

"It's all good, man, I _knew_ you were up there before I started talking," Tyler said, chuckling. "You opened up to me, I felt I should open up to you."

He slapped Ezekiel on the back once more before heading back to his table. Lindsay, who missed him during those few seconds of departure, hugged her boyfriend. As she kissed his cheek, the jock gave his friend a thumbs-up.

The prairie boy smiled back, then sat down at his table. He suddenly realized how _freaking cold_ he was, and began shaking and chattering. DJ helped him over to the fireplace to cool off.

Heather glared at her teammates, daring them to say anything. They didn't, but Tyler and Bridgette gave Ezekiel a few proud, side glances.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The last message before the last message.)**

Eva - \grunts angrily\ "He didn't kill her. I was so hoping he was gonna kill her! How could he let us all down like that? Show of hands at home, people: who didn't want him to kill her?"

* * *

As the campers relaxed at their tables, talking about what they were going to do for the follow-up challenge, Chris approached the cabin.

"Well, people," he said to the viewers at home, "we leave you with the following questions:

--

"Should Ezekiel have killed Heather? Isn't that still illegal?

"What do you think the campers are going to make out of snow? Explain.

"Who is going to pass the immunity challenge by Chef Hatchet, and who is going to be voted off tonight, walking the Dock of Shame, and is not coming back EVER:

**Tyler**, **Lindsay**, **Noah**, **Duncan**, **Courtney**, **Bridgette**, **Beth**, **Heather**, or **Eva**?"

--

**Part 3 coming soon, with drama and love for all!**

* * *

--

--

--

You know, writing for so many different characters is _hard!_ I am sorry to say it, but reducing the amount of characters who are all in the same place is a great thing for me. Yikies.


	20. Day 6, Part 3: Snow More Bad Puns

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Many sodas were consumed during the making of this story.

--

**To Everybody** - I must say, your enthusiasm is almost overwhelming! \looks through thesaurus some more\ Massive appreciation on my part! And I must say, about these snow sculptures, you guys are too good of guessers. Now it is time to finish this snowy day, and send the sixth camper home!

And now, on with the show!!

--

--

--

* * *

**Chapter 20 (Day 06, Part 3)** - Walking in my Winter Underwear

--

"Now you all know the rules," Chris said to the campers when they were all out in the snow again. "You all are going to build your snow sculptures on wheeled displays, away from everyone else! No helping others, no sabotage. You will cover your sculpture with the thin tarps we provided, and wheel it in front of the cafeteria when you are done."

"You told us this already," Noah shouted, throwing his hands up in indignation. "You even said, 'you all know the rules'! Why are you telling us this again!?"

Chris looked at the camera. "He just doesn't get exposition, does he, folks?

"Oh, what I haven't told you is that the winners of the winning team get a week's supply of ice cream!"

The campers looked at the snow around them, and felt the irony. Chris felt several snowballs hitting him in the face.

"Ow, not cool! Anyway, begin!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get it started out here.)**

Trent - "To avoid the possibility that we all make sculptures or busts of those we like and love, we agreed to one bust and one sculpture."

Duncan - "On my team, they let me be the guy who gets to do the bust. Mainly because I threatened to knock their lights out if they didn't let me, hehe."

Ezekiel - "Win or lose, eh, I doo'nt care. I have plans for my snow sculpture after the judging, eh." \He cackles and rubs his hands together.\

* * *

Everyone was allowed three hours to create their snow sculpture. Ezekiel had some trouble with his, mainly because the antlers kept falling off the moose.

"Damn it all," he shouted when they fell off a third time. "They have to be that big, eh! That's how big they were on that evil moose that chased me up a tree when I was a kid!"

He stopped shouting, and looked over at the cameraman that was nearby him. "Did I just suddenly turn into Chris and hand out exposition?"

The first one done was Gwen, followed shortly by Eva and Tyler. They all went into the cafeteria as they waited for their teammates or the time limit, whichever came first.

Courtney and Beth were next, and the little farm girl looked exhausted. She plunked down at her table, letting out a huge sigh.

"I never knew how tirethome art could be," she muttered.

"You should try painting," Gwen said, shrugging her slender shoulders. "One minor error and it all goes to hell."

"It's hard staying in those numbers, I know," Tyler joked. The goth girl raised a bemused eyebrow at him

Harold, Katie, Trent, and Duncan came about a half-hour later. Duncan and Harold were discussing about who would win in a fight: Samus Aran or Master Chief. The discussion was cut short by a disapproving glare from Courtney, and so Duncan parted from the brunette nerd to be with his girl.

"Courtney," Harold, after summoning his courage, "could I talk to you about-"

"No," she replied, sharp as a whip.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Whips aren't sharp, but you get the idea.)**

Harold - "Dang, man. When is she going to be in a good enough mood to talk to? I mean, she spent the majority of this challenge on first base with Duncan. Most of us here which we could at least get up to bat with our..."

\He scratches his head.\ "You know, that always puzzled me about the base metaphor. Who's your partner in that analogy? The pitcher? Your teammate? The base man? Dang confusing American pastime metaphor."

* * *

DJ, Bridgette, Heather, and Cody arrived next, an hour before the deadline. Duncan was trying to get back to first base with Courtney (or maybe up to plate, Harold still didn't have a good grip on the metaphor), but the CIT was avid not to make out in front of so many people.

"We're on national TV, princess," he remarked, wiggling his unibrow.

Courtney sighed in disgust. "Look, later, okay?"

"Would that mean I'd have to sneak into the girls' side of the cabin?"

"Don't you _dare_," Courtney, Katie, Bridgette, and Eva shouted in unison.

Lindsay finally came into the cafeteria, looking zonked and sore. She cuddled up to Tyler, sighing long and happy to be back in his arms. Bridgette couldn't help but stare at them, and when Tyler's eyes met hers, she beamed at him and gave him a thumbs-up.

Noah and Izzy arrived at the same time, talking a great deal about who would win in a fight: Arthas Menethil or Sarah Kerrigan.

"That's everyone except Zeke," Chris told the campers. "Wonder how he's doing."

The prairie boy then opened the door, stiff as a board. With a whimper, he tipped over and fell down on the floor face-first. The campers ran over to his side as Chef stood behind him, shaking his head.

"Zeke, man, what happened?" Tyler shouted.

"A moose chased him while he was heading back," Chef Hatchet said. "I had to scare the moose away from the tree he chased prairie boy up in."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - You'll rarely find a moose in here.)**

Ezekiel - "I... hate... the outdoors!"

* * *

Chris clapped as he saw the Winter Wonders, looking at them lined up outside. "Okay, winners! Let's see how you do under my watchful eye! Harold, you first!"

The nerd whipped off his tarp to reveal a large bust of Leshawna. The detail was superb, right down to the sister's mole.

"What a nice dedication to someone you like," Chris said, clapping. "I miss that soul sister, I do; it's too quiet without her. Harold, I am going to pass you!"

The Snow Experts cheered and DJ gave him a high-five. The large football player took the tarp off his creation, which was a large bunny.

"Well done, DJ," Chris cried out, clapping. "That is not..."

The ears fell off the rabbit just then, and DJ gasped in terror. The host grimaced, then sighed. "Sorry dude, it was good, but now it's not gonna pass."

"It's okay," DJ said with a shrug. "The spirit of the bunny lives on."

"Um, sure thing, dude."

* * *

Gwen's snow sculpture of the sun confused Chris. It was only until Gwen pointed out the irony of it that the handsome host finally understood and appreciated how humorous the artwork was. With an affirmative pat on the back, the host passed the goth girl.

Trent's snow mobile was well-crafted, and could even support Chris's weight when he tried sitting on it. With a joke about 'snow snow mobile' (which Trent pointed out was the joke of the sculpture), the host gave him a passing mark.

Katie's life-size sculpture of Sadie was exactly what the host thought the tan-skinned girl was going to make; however, the detail was so well that Chris couldn't help but be impressed. She had her best friend down so well, right down to her extra fat and her thin eyebrows. The host applauded for Katie, giving her a passing mark.

Cody's video game controller confused the host a great deal. The brunette geek tried to explain that it was an original design, that it would be for a brand-new console. Not buying it, the host gave him a failing mark. With a heavy sigh, Cody kicked at the snow and cursed the fact that he had not won a single one of these follow-up challenges yet.

Izzy was grinning happily as she stood before the two-story work of art. She grabbed the tarp and whipped it off, revealing a gargantuan, abominable snowman! Some of the campers screamed, while DJ, Katie, and Lindsay fainted (the blond into Tyler's arms). The host burst into laughter, and clapped hard. He gave the redhead a passing mark, and then helped revive the three fainted campers.

* * *

"Zeke... bra...," Chris said as he looked at the moose. "What is this?"

The prairie boy tapped his fingers together nervously as he looked at the large snow sculpture. The antlers had been broken short, resulting in a very wimpy-looking deer.

"It... broo'k when I ran from the moose, eh."

"Sorry, dude, but I'm afraid I cannot pass this."

"Fine by me, actually!"

The home schooled boy then pulled his bow out from behind his back, notched an arrow, and shot the snow sculpture he created. Knocked over by the shot, it smashed into several pieces on the ground. Some of the campers, like Bridgette and DJ, gasped in horror.

"Yes! Sweet revenge is mine, eh," Ezekiel cheered, lifting his bow in victory. "All right, I'm good."

"Okay then," Chris shouted. "The winners of the winners are Harold, Trent, Izzy, Gwen, and Katie! Now it is time for Chef Hatchet to judge the losers!"

Duncan was first. He proudly whipped off the tarp to reveal a bust of Chef Hatchet himself. With a sly click of his tongue as he watched the large man approach his hard work.

The cook hissed in air and shouted, "I hate obvious sucking up! Flunk!" He punched the bust of himself in the face, knocking his own block off. He managed to knock himself down on the ground, breaking his head into a snowy mess. Duncan was startled by this, but so amused by Chef smashing his face in that he burst out laughing.

Tyler's sculpture was a large football. Chef snarled and kicked it, breaking the snowy pigskin into several pieces. "Aw, c'mon, Chef," Tyler protested. "I worked hard on that!"

"And it didn't even make it halfway across the field," the cook barked. "Flunk!"

He approached Heather next. The ravenhair didn't look intimidated by this; she actually looked very pleased.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Don't kick us over, please.)**

Heather - "I was counting on this. If there is one thing I've learned about Chef, it's that he likes being mean. And thus, he would do the meanest thing he could to someone who just spent hours on a project: try to wreck it. It's like Ezekiel said: if I let him bother me, he wins.

\She giggles and wiggles her fingers at the camera.\ "Zeke, I hope you and your friends appreciate how you gave me the idea to win invincibility!"

* * *

"It's a diamond," Heather explained to the cook, pointing to the diamond-shaped object on the ground. It had been smoothed down nicely, and about as high up as a chair.

Chef snorted. "Engagement stone from your boyfriend, Zeke?" Several of the campers snickered, but Heather's smirk actually became wider. The cook was visibly frustrated by this, and kicked the snow diamond. All he did was cause a small dent.

"I packed it very hard so that it would be much like a diamond," the ravenhair explained. "Hardest thing on the planet, the diamond."

Chef growled and kicked it again, only making another small dent. "Oh all right, girl," he shouted. "You pass, you get invincibility!"

The large man headed to the next one, Bridgette, when he was struck by snowballs from behind. He turned around, only to be hit in the face with more snowballs.

"Boo! Boo," were the replies from the Winter Wonders, complete with angry cries.

"You gave Heather immunity? Are you daft!?"

"Gosh! Idiot!"

"Communist sympathizer! Jellybean conspirator!"

"What kind of judge are you, eh? Russian?!"

Chef snarled furiously, snapping back to Bridgette's snow sculpture; it was a dolphin in mid-leap. With an angry snort, he shoved the creation over, knocking it down on her.

He refused to acknowledge the cries of surprise and horror as he went to the next snow sculpture. Ezekiel headed over to Bridgette, who was under the crushed remains of a snow dolphin. "Are you alright, eh? I'm so soo'ry, Bridgette!"

After a woozy moan, the blond surfer brushed the snow off her face. "Not your fault. Everyone's a critic, and Chef is a bitter one."

Bridgette didn't know how right she was. Courtney's snow sculpture, a giant first place ribbon, received the same treatment as Bridgette's dolphin. The CIT was lucky enough to leap out of the way before she was hit by her creation.

"What the hell was that for?" she shouted, shaking in fury at the large man.

"I never got a first place ribbon!"

Chef Hatchet approached Lindsay's next: it was a pony. With a long flowing mane, a graceful and sleek body, strong legs and whipping tail, it was a glorious sight to behold. The cook froze up, and whispered, "A... a pony..."

Fury covered his face. "I never got a pony!" He shoved it over too, destroying it like the last two. As he stormed off, Lindsay burst into tears, blubbering and sobbing hard. She grabbed Tyler and cried into his chest as the brunette athlete rubbed her back in comfort.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Please, we beg of you. Don't push us over.)**

Tyler - "Dang man, what's Chef's problem? He's like a drill sergeant and a football coach combined! On a bad day! When we're losing! And it's raining! And... and... I cannot think of anything more."

* * *

Noah stared at Chef while Chef stared at the two figures of snow. "You know what scene this is portraying, Chef?" The two snow people were dressed in togas, one wearing a wreath crown. One of them was stabbing the other in the chest with an icicle.

"Ummmm... oh! _Brutal Murder of Deathly Potential 4_! I love that movie," Chef cheered, clapping the egghead on the back. "Good work, you pass!"

As he walked on to Eva's project, Noah frowned and looked away. "It was _Julius Caesar_. E tu, Brute?" he muttered, then sighed.

Eva's snow sculpture was a large fist. The fitness buff thought it would be a sign of power and strength to Chef. It did, but the cook felt the need to challenge the fist and punched it with all his strength.

Knocking it over, the Chef grinned victoriously as the snow fist crumbled on the ground. Eva slapped her forehead as the cook left, dusting off his hands.

Beth was last. She looked quite nervous as she took off the tarp on her project. Most people gasped then giggled.

It was a classic snowman, with a corncob pipe, a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal. A couple puny sticks acted as arms, a scarf was carefully wrapped around his neck, and there was an old, silk cap upon his head.

"_That_ was what exhausted you?" Courtney shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

"It wath really hard to roll the thnowballs," she whimpered, rubbing her hands.

Chef stared at the snowman, glaring at it with a keen eye. "What's his name?"

"F-F-Frosty?"

With a long "hmmm," Chef kept everyone in suspense for a minute. He shook his fist several times, making Beth shake every time. Then the large cook finally clapped her on the back and shouted, "I like it! It passes!"

The majority of the campers cheered for her as the farm girl let out a cry of joy. Beth hugged Harold and Lindsay as she squealed in joy.

"Very well done, winners of the losers," Chris shouted, clapping proudly. "Noah, Heather, and Beth, you three are immune! So members of the Snow Experts, pick one of the six non-invincible members to vote off tonight!"

* * *

Courtney, Duncan, and Heather met behind the Killer Bass cabin. Heather was doing her nails, smiling proudly at her accomplishment.

"Such a shame you two didn't pass," she said as she put away her nail file. "But maybe this way, the votes will be more divided up more, ensuring we get to vote off who we want off."

Duncan shrugged. "The problem is, three votes is not much in a group of nine. That's about one-third, right?"

"No, Duncan," Courtney sighed. "It's one... no, wait, you are right. Huh."

"I may have spent a lot of my life in juvie, but I'm not a complete fool."

Heather raised one of her eyebrows. "Well then, who can we convince? I really want to ensure that blond is gone for good."

"Why don't we go ask some of the people we know aren't friends with her who they are voting for?" Courtney suggested.

"Good idea."

They split up. Heather found Noah reading in the Screaming Gopher cabin, boys' side. "Hello, Noah," she said, as pleasantly as she could.

"Hello, Heather," the egghead replied without looking up. "How is Ezekiel?"

Her eye twitched but she managed to ignore it. "Look, Noah, you're a smart guy. I know you have good taste in-"

"Who do you want me to vote for?"

The ravenhair had to hide her surprise; Noah was faster on his mind than she thought. When she told him the name of the camper she wanted voted off, he looked up at her briefly. "I was already going to vote for her."

"Really? That's nice. Well then, see you at the bonfire ceremony. And congratulations on winning invincibility!"

"Oh, Heather?"

The queen bee was reluctant. "_If he makes another comment about Ezekiel_," she thought,"_I'm not going to be able to hold my tongue._"

"Why do you want her voted off? She too smart and talented?"

"Don't make me laugh."

The queen bee walked off with a flip of her hair. Noah shrugged after she departed, then said to himself, "Probably because she's so popular with the guys here."

* * *

"The votes, from what I gathered, are going to be divided up enough," Courtney said to Duncan as Chris approached the oil drum. "All we have to do now is let Chris ham it up and say who it was that's been voted off."

"Okay, campers," Chris said to the nine campers sitting on the stump chairs, "we were lucky to get the bonfire going, mostly because the snow stopped. Now eight of you nine campers can toast your marshmallows lightly over the bonfire." The nine campers nodded, some more than others. The eight campers, members of the Winter Wonders, watched intrepidly.

"After reviewing your votes in the confessional cam, it had been decided who walks the Dock of Shame," Chris said, milking it up as always. "And soon you nine, nay all of you, will know who is boarding the Boat of Losers... and is not coming back!

"EV-AAAAAR!"

He then smiled politely as he picked up a few marshmallows and began tossing them. "Noah, Beth, and Heather, you three are safe. Snow problems for you!"

The three caught them and ate them happily. Gwen's furious glare never left Heather, who noticed it and waved back. The goth girl began to shake in fury until Trent put a comforting arm around her.

The six remaining campers all looked confident. Lindsay and Tyler were staring lovingly at each other, assurance in their eyes. Eva had her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Duncan was leaning back and smirking. Courtney was impatiently drumming her fingers on her knee. Bridgette had her hands tucked in her snow jacket as she watched Chris.

"Now for you six... or should I say, you five," Chris said, grinning wickedly. "The first marshmallow goes to... Tyler!"

The athlete let out a cheer as Lindsay squealed in equal amount of joy. His first attempt to grab the tossed marshmallow was a miss, but he caught it when it bounced off his chest. Grinning at Lindsay, he kissed her cheek and whispered, "See you over there by the winners," before heading over. Ezekiel and DJ high-fived him.

"The next marshmallows go to... Courtney. And Duncan!"

The CIT and the criminal caught their marshmallows before joining the large group of campers. Duncan tossed his into the air and caught it, chewing happily.

"Eva," the host said before tossing the treat to the muscular girl. She couldn't help but smile briefly before scarfing it down and heading to the winners.

"Ladies...," Chris said, looking at the two remaining campers as he tapped the plate, "Lindsay, Bridgette... this is the final marshmallow of this silent night." The two blond girls exchanged horrified looks, Lindsay with her hands up at her mouth and Bridgette huddling in her seat.

Tyler, in the sidelines, gasped in horror as he realized it had come down to those two. Ezekiel began to shake in near-frantic anticipation, Beth was whimpering and crossing fingers on both hands, and Gwen was biting her lower lip.

"The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Bridgette."

The surfer gal caught her marshmallow with a happy gasp. Her smile of relief vanished when she heard Tyler's tragic cry.

"No no no... why Lindsay?" he cried out, close to tears. "Why'd you vote her off? This... this so isn't right! We just... everything was getting better..."

He collapsed on his knees in the snow, no will left in his body. Tyler couldn't stop the tears from coming, he couldn't bring himself to stand up. Worse than any game he lost, he felt sick.

Lindsay came over, down on her knees as well. "Tyler," she said, putting her hands on his shoulders, "it's not all over yet. I may be leaving soon, but you'll see me soon."

He looked up at her baby blue eyes, his own brown pupils wet with tears. "We... it feels like I lost you... right after we managed to solve everything."

"You big silly," she said, smiling warmly. "You never lost me." She pulled him in for a hug, and he returned it.

* * *

"Tyler, I love you lots! You go win more challenges, and kick lots of butt, you hear me?" she said to him. She was packed and standing on the Dock of Shame, ready to leave on the Boat of Losers.

The jock nodded, then took her in his arms and kissed her. And... boy, it was a long one. All the campers who had gathered to say good-bye at the dock exchanged mildly uncomfortable glances as the kiss lasted what was about a minute.

After they finally separated (and Gwen was a little horrified to see a small trail of saliva between them briefly), Lindsay went over at all the campers, avoiding Heather's look.

"TJ, Jerold, Kathy, Coral, Evelyn, Trevor, Obar, Codin-Izzin-a'Foah, Hedwin, Gadget, Reagan, and umm... the guy who's crushing on Gadget or Heather, I cannot remember, sorry! You all take care!"

Ezekiel slapped his forehead as Lindsay turned to her last friend. The farm girl had moist eyes when she hugged the blond beauty, and her taller friend tried her best to comfort her with the return hug.

"Good-bye, Beth," she whispered. "Watch over Tyler for me, make sure that Chadwick, Heather, and Chef Matchbox don't hurt him."

"I promith," Beth said, choked up. "And hey... you got my name right!"

"Did I?" Lindsay giggled, happy despite it all. "I may be getting better at names then!"

She boarded the Boat of Losers and it paddled off. Tyler and Beth stood on the edge, waving good-bye to her. "I love you," the athlete shouted to her, tilting over the edge; it was only because Ezekiel was holding onto his jersey that he didn't fall in the ocean. "Bye!"

When the Boat of Losers was gone, the campers all began to head back to their cabins, eager to get away from the cold ocean and into the warm buildings. Tyler continued to stare where the boat had been for a little while; he wiped the final tears away, then started to head back.

"That's the fifth couple to be broken up, dude," they heard Chris say to Owen.

"But I'm still here... and that only makes four couples, with me, Geoff, Leshawna, and Lindsay."

"There's Sadie. I count that as a couple, since they are practically joined at the hip."

Tyler walked slow and sad. Most of his teammates stayed back with him up until they made it to the cabin, where the jock looked over at the Screaming Gopher cabin, then to Bridgette.

"I guess it felt this bad when Geoff left, huh dudette?" he asked, smiling sadly.

She nodded, trying to return the smile. "It'll hurt a little more before it goes away. But take comfort in the fact that you will see her again, that this isn't permanent or even really that long."

"And she loves that resort, eh," Ezekiel chimed in. "Remember her there last season?"

Tyler couldn't help but chuckle. "Thanks guys. For everything," he said before heading into the boys' side.

Bridgette was about to head in when Ezekiel hissed out a little call. "Bridge, I didn't want to say this in front of him... or anyone else, really," he admitted, looking around nervously, "but don't you see a pattern here?"

"That people who are with someone are getting voted off mostly?" she asked, a little perplexed.

"Yeah. You think someone formed an alliance to ensure no one had a permanent ally or something, eh?"

"That's possible... though...," Bridgette bit her lower lip, then swallowed. "I don't know who would do that, except for Heather; however, she has little influence now. I can't understand why anyone else would want to hurt people likes this."

The two stared off into space for a few seconds, deep in thought

"Oh, Zeke!"

Heather, alone on the Screaming Gopher patio, waved to him. Bridgette scowled, crossing her arms. "What does she want?" she hissed, glaring at the queen bee.

"Come over here, I have something I want to say to you," she called out, smiling in what would have been pleasant but screamed "baited trap" on Heather's face.

"Your choice, hon," the surfer chick said to Ezekiel. "Just be careful, I'm sure I don't have to warn you what a two-faced monster she is."

"I knoo', but there's the old saying of 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer', eh?" he asked, turning to her with a shrug.

"I dunno if I believe that, to be honest," Bridgette admitted, "because I hold my boyfriend closest to me. Go on, though, hon, if you want." Ezekiel shrugged as the surfer gal went into the girls' cabin. As he walked over to the Screaming Gopher cabin, Bridgette helped in throwing Duncan out of the girls' side.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Duncan's no stealth agent.)**

Bridgette - "Jeepers, when will Duncan learn some boundaries? Though Courtney was no help, she had him hidden under the covers. She's getting almost as randy as him, snuggling and kissing and muttering sappy things. ... Oh _God_, I miss Geoff."

Cody - "I actually saw Duncan get kicked out of the girls' side, and dude? I feel your pain."

Heather - \She is sitting there in deep thought, tapping her cheek. She lets out a long sigh, stares up at the ceiling, then looks over at the camera.\ "I really hate not knowing exactly what I should do. Everything is supposed to have a plan, and when I don't know what the results of the plan are going to be, then I'm not comfortable."

Izzy - "I am getting highly suspicious of Duncan and Courtney. Ever since day three, all the people that Courtney and Heather want off have been voted off. And always whenever at least one of them as a chance to vote or talk to others. This requires deep investigation...

"Oh, and I also complied some notes on the likelihood of couples and second base:"

Izzy's Second Base Stats

_Owen and Me_ - Yep!

_Courtney and Duncan_ - I'd say yes.

_Bridgette and Geoff_ - Likely.

_Gwen and Trent_ - Less than likely, they're a very modest couple.

_Lindsay and Tyler_ - Not yet, but upon reunion, watch out!

_Leshawna and Harold_ - Not enough data, Harold is a tough cookie to crack.

_Ezekiel and Heather_ - Once they get over the fact that they hate each other, probably in the first couple days.

_Ezekiel and someone not Lawful Evil, like Eva or Beth_ - Three weeks.

_Katie and ??_ - Muahaha, I'm not saying who yet, you'll have to wait more.

_Noah and Cody_ - Not likely. Darn. But it's still fun to tease Noah.

* * *

Heather watched as Duncan was tossed out from the girls' side of the Killer Bass cabin. She couldn't help but smirk as the criminal shrugged and went back to the boys' side.

"My, Duncan is such a horn dog," she said when Ezekiel was in hearing range, watching the punk slam the door. "We should put better locks on the doors."

"What do you want, Heather?" Ezekiel asked, crossing his arms.

The Asian-Canadian looked down at him, drumming her fingers on the patio balcony. Her sniffles were coming back, and she had a light shiver; none of it was fake, she was just really sensitive to the cold.

"Would you come with me, Zeke?" she requested. She smiled keenly, and more warning flags were waving in the prairie boy's mind. Despite those, he nodded and began to follow her.

The shivering girl led him to the edge of the forest behind the cabins. She motioned for him to follow into the trees, then smirked at him.

Ezekiel's heart was pounding, and his mind raced so fast it began to hurt his head.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We don't censor here.)**

Ezekiel - "When I was heading there, all I could of what she had planned, eh. Let's see... I thought of: taser, mace, numchuck, dagger, ninja throo'ing star, fork, attack dog, bow 'n arrow, chainsaw, bomb, tranquilizer, folding chair, blackmail photos, or worst of all, she caught a cold and was planning on giving it to me!"

* * *

The prairie boy leaned against a tree as he watched Heather, who still had her back to him. "Any reason why here, eh?" he asked, watching her closely.

"I actually found out this section of the woods right here as no cameras at all," Heather said, looking around the area as if to demonstrate.

"Doesn't matter much to me, eh," he replied. "Guess it does matter to you."

Though he really was thinking, "_Yep, she's going to kill me_."

"Zeke, I have a couple things to say to you that I didn't want the viewers at home to see," she said before turning around at last. Her eyes were narrowed as she stormed over to him, putting her face up millimeters from his.

"Let me make this as clear as possible. If you ever, _ever_ do something like you do in the cafeteria today, I will dedicate to making your life as miserable and horrible as I can humanly manage! And I don't mean just on the island, I mean outside of this show! I'll find your little prairie home, and I'll continue to make your life wretched, if you _ever_ do something like that again!"

Ezekiel, with wide eyes, nodded. With a deep breath, he managed to collect himself and stare into those fierce gray eyes of hers. "Okay then. But is that all, eh? I mean, you brought me out to this non-camera area to threaten me?"

"I did say there were two things I wanted to say to you," she said, brushing her hair behind her back. "And now that that's clear..."

She kissed him.

It couldn't have lasted more than a couple seconds, but Ezekiel was much more wide-eyed when it was over. She smirked playfully at him before saying, "That's for the tip of advice, it helped me win invincibility."

With that, she walked off, her strut a little off because of her shivering.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - WTH?)**

Heather - \She is twirling one of her raven strands around her finger.\ "It's so easy to manipulate boys like that. Bat your eyes, smile a little... well, you get the idea. The point is, Ezekiel has had no experience with real girls, so whatever I do, it will really get his repressed hormones going. He has no idea of what I'm truly up to, the simpleton."

Ezekiel - "Yeah, I'm sure I knoo' what she's up to. Tying to get me all confused and torn up inside by kissing me like that, eh. She forgot one thing, though, and that is that she already made it quite clear that she hates my guts. So I know there's no true affection there, and when I get the chance, she'll be voted off in no time, eh."

\He licks his lips and smacks them a couple times.\ "Not a bad kisser, but the taste of her lipstick was a little off-putting, eh. She should really consider going all-natural, like Bridgette."

* * *

Lindsay let out a happy squeal when she saw Playa des Losers approaching in the distance. Leshawna was on the dock, waving at her blond friend.

"Hi, Leshawna," she called out. When the boat docked, she leapt out to give her friend a large hug.

"Hey, girlfriend," Leshawna said as she lifted up the girl up for a big ol' bear hug. When she plopped the the blond beauty back down on her feet, her face grew serious. "Lindsay babe, we need to chat."

"About what?"

"About you, me, and the people who are voting us off."

* * *

**Tyler** - Courtney.

**Duncan** - Lindsay.

**Bridgette** - Eva.

**Heather** - Lindsay.

**Noah** - Lindsay.

**Eva** - Bridgette.

**Courtney** - Lindsay.

**Beth** - Duncan.

**Lindsay** - Eva.

--

Lindsay - 4.

Eva - 2.

Duncan - 1.

Bridgette - 1.

Courtney - 1.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay.

* * *

--

--

--

What could Leshawna be talking about? When are you guys going to find out who Katie's crush is? And just how many questions can I possibly leave you guys at the end of the chapter?

In case you are all worried about the strange turn at the end with Heather and Ezekiel, let me make something clear that I'm sure a lot of you are worried about: there will be no cliché "hot girl can get boy to do anything" here. I avoid that cliché like the plague, the Cliché Plague!

That being said, I assure nothing else. Buahaha.

Oh, and I'm just gonna add everyone's victory theme up here, whether they've been voted off or not. All these victory themes come from Super Smash Brothers Brawl (try looking up Victory Themes for Brawl on YouTube, and yes, this is unnecessary shameless plugging, I cannot help myself, \shrugs\):

--

Mario Bros. Series - **Bridgette**.

Donkey Kong Series - **Geoff**.

Legend of Zelda Series - **Courtney**.

Kirby Series - **Lindsay**.

Meta Knight's Victory - **Eva**.

Samus Aran - **Gwen**.

Yoshi - **Owen**.

Star Fox Series - **Trent**.

Pokémon Series - **DJ**.

Ice Climber - **Katie** and **Sadie**.

Mother / Earthbound - **Ezekiel**.

Pit - **Justin**.

Wario - **Duncan**.

Fire Emblem Series - **Harold** and **Noah**.

Capt. Falcon - **Leshawna**.

Pikmin & Olimar - **Beth**.

Game & Watch - **Izzy**.

R.O.B - **Cody**.

Sonic - **Tyler**.

Snake - **Heather**.

--

Now with Lindsay gone, there are only two couples left together on Wawanakwa Island. Will more couple-related tragedy occur next time on TDC? You'll have to wait and see! Thanks for everything, my faithful reviewers and readers, you keep this party going!


	21. Day 7, Part 1: Warming Up Fast

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. This story has also officially reached second base before I have, dammit.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**Super Poof** - Noah and Cody is a pairing that lives off two large reasons: one, the embarrassing moment in the sleeping challenge of TDI, and two, they're both brainiacs with fangirls. Hehe.

**Amaya Uchi **- Indeed it is fun to tease Noah. I added that little joke in there for you Noah x Cody fans out there.

**To Everybody** - Glad you all like the suspense. Now, let's see how you like it when I ramp up the tension, both regular and sexual! \evil grin\

And now, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... the campers enjoyed a snow day, provided by a certain handsome host. We enjoyed watching them sling snowballs, skate, sculpt, and snuggle!

The frosty crusaders of experienced were put on one team while those inexperienced with snowy days. In a rip-roaring, snowball-flinging, aggressive as war combat, the more skilled team won the day!

Then in a snow sculpture contest, the campers found out that while I'm a much more generous guy than they thought, Chef was every bit as mean as they knew him to be. Not many stood up to his angry judgment.

When the judging was over, it was time for the ultimate judgment of the marshmallow ceremony. Our extremely beautiful but semi-clueless Lindsay had to walk the Dock of Shame, leaving a very sad and recently redeemed Tyler behind.

Also to mention is that Heather and Ezekiel have started quite the feud. After a rumor started up about the two, Heather was hellbent on proving her innocence, which accumulated into her soaking Zeke during this snowy day. He gave her a piece of his mind, and after all it was all done, she gave him a little kiss in what she thought was complete privacy (ha ha ha, she thought there were no cameras there).

Now the snow has melted, the island is back to normal. Which leads us to these questions:

Will the tension between our puppet mistress and prairie boy continue on, or will they be dancing around the subject? What are the people at Playa des Losers be able to do something about the alliance between Heather and Courtney, or will their dance be rained on? And how can we play best with the remaining couples that are here?

These questions are going to be answered in this dirty, dancing episode of... Total! ... Drama! ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!_)

* * *

**Chapter 21 (Day 07, Part 1)** - Now You Gotta Kiss Me

--

"Courtney's working with Heather?!" Lindsay shouted, clapping her hands on her cheeks. "But... who's Courtney?"

"Angry CIT girl," Sadie said.

The five campers who had been voted off were gathered around the pool. Sadie was floating on her inflatable chair in the pool, while Geoff, Leshawna and Justin were standing around the pool. Lindsay, in her red bikini, was dangling her legs in the pool; she nodded as she remembered angry, CIT girl.

"So why would Courtney work with Heather? We all know what an evil backstabber she is," Lindsay remarked.

"From what we gathered," Geoff said as he scratched the back of his head, "it's because she wants Harold voted off. Confessional Cams can be seen by us too, cha know. She wants revenge, man, and... man, she's so mean now."

"Really? All I ever saw was her making out with Toucan."

"You mean Duncan, hon," Leshawna replied. "And Duncan's just as big a problem, we're pretty sure he's voting with them."

"But... Harold, right? Harold's still on the island," Lindsay said, kicking at the water.

"It's because they've never had the chance. Harold's never been available to vote for when Courtney or Heather have been giving the chance to vote him off."

Geoff let out a sigh as he sat down by the side of the pool. "I cannot understand why Courtney still hates him. Can't she, like, forgive him or something?"

"Not likely, she doesn't seem like a forgiving person," Sadie replied.

The party animal sighed again, shaking his head. "It's such a bummer, dude. I mean, I like Harold and Courtney and Duncan... I don't understand why we couldn't just hang out."

"Revenge is a powerful emotion," Leshawna pointed out. "It's what made Harold change the votes in the first place."

"Well, I'm not terribly fond of Courtney," Sadie retorted, crossing her arms. "She's so mean, and now she's voting off everyone who annoys her or Heather."

Lindsay looked down at the water in despair. "It doesn't seem fair," she looked up at Justin. "Is there anything we can do about it?"

The male model shrugged, and tapped his chin in thought.

"You'll have to wait a long time to get an answer from him, sugar," Leshawna said with a smirk. "But about what you said, I don't know."

"I asked Chris if he was going to send a couple campers back to the island when they're halfway through the show," Geoff said. "But no dice, dudes. Once voted off, always voted off."

"What about Olsen?" Lindsay asked. "Doesn't he come back here?"

"Not since Geoff came here," said Sadie. "He's not been here ever since Chris allowed him to stay with me when I was alone here."

"So there's no way we can warn them about Heather and Corette are doing?" the beautiful blond hung her head in sorrow. "It doesn't seem fair."

Geoff, Leshawna, and Sadie looked around, just as upset. It was Justin who finally pierced the silence.

"Message in a bottle."

They all looked over, startled that he was talking. "What was that, Justin hon?"

"Message in a bottle," he repeated. "I remember them having a couple of those in my beach shoots. It might work."

"That's brilliant," Sadie shouted, the larger BFFF cheering and clapping. "I love this man! He's so handsome, and he's so clever!"

"I'll get right on that," Geoff exclaimed. He popped open a bottle of grape soda, and chugged it; he managed to finish it in one go. The other four campers cheered for him as he let out a triumphant cheer.

"One isn't gonna be enough, though, dudes," the party animal said, and began tossing out bottles of the sugary water goodness to the campers. "Everyone, chug like you never chugged before!"

"You do this often, party boy?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cha, every party, babe," he shouted before letting out a cheer. "I once chugged a liter for Bridgette, and boy, did I have a large belch-erinoo!"

He chuckled for a bit, then he began to look sad. "I miss her something terrible, ya know? She's around good friends, but still..."

"I know. I miss Harold a whole lot," Leshawna admitted as she sipped her cherry-flavored drink. "And Gwen too, I miss my goth girlfriend."

"I miss Tyler already," Lindsay replied. She looked over at Sadie as the larger BFFF tried to chug orange soda, but ended up sputtering. "You miss Katrina, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," Sadie admitted sadly. "But every time I get really upset, I find something to distract me." "Really? What?"

The larger BFFF looked over at Justin as the male model drank some boysenberry berry. He posed afterwards, and Sadie leaned back and swooned hard. "I wish Katie was here, to enjoy watching him too. "Wonder what she's up to right now."

* * *

"Full house! I win again!"

The skinny BFFF let out a large cheer as several of the other people at the table let out long groans. She patted the cards on the table, then gathered up the chips. "Now then," she purred, grinning wickedly at her seven opponents, especially those who just lost the hand, "let's see another piece go off!"

Trent, shirtless and with only one shoe, watched Gwen with a sly smile. His girlfriend, flushed and sighing regretfully, took off her skirt. The goth girl sat there with only her underwear, garter belt, and stockings on. She noticed her boyfriend looking, and she blushed even more.

Duncan, who was in his underwear and only a couple piercings left, purred at Courtney. She hissed at him to shut up, blushing furiously as she took off her blouse. Tyler, his forehead on the table, took off his pants. Noah, sitting next to him fully dressed, grinned and said, "I told you it's bad to bluff Katie."

"Thanks, Noah," the BFFF chirped.

"Yep yep yep," Izzy chattered, drumming on the table. The crazy redhead was without her shoes and skirt, but looked very happy. "Katie's the greatest at strip poker!"

Gwen crossed her arms underneath her breasts. "I have to admit, I'm impressed, Katie. This game is a lot more intense than I thought it would be.

Harold and Owen, only in their underwear, let out long sighs. They had suffered the wrath of the Katie and Noah, who were the undefeated champions. Beth and DJ had been watching in great amusement, and Cody was using every inch, every millimeter, every single piece of willpower he could muster to not stare at Gwen in her underwear.

Noah was smirking, ever-so-smug, as he began to deal out another hand. "Gentlemen and ladies, I must confess, I enjoy this game a lot more than I thought I would too."

"Mostly because of the girls in their underwear, I'll bet," Courtney snapped. She was doing her best to subtlety cover her gray bra; Duncan was the opposite of Cody, and he was staring directly at Courtney's barely-concealed chest.

" There are more half-naked men here," Noah remarked, "though yes, I like that too."

"Handsome men all over too," Izzy squealed happily. "Like a butcher's block, so much delicious meat."

Everyone stared at her. The redhead whipped her hair back as she looked at her cards. "And I'm gonna strip more of them down to their undies! Or at the least, get Duncan to remove all of his piercings!"

Duncan snorted. "Yeah right, Izzy. But I gotta thank you all for letting me join. Strip poker is a lot more fun when you're not against all-male cell mates."

Courtney let out a very annoyed sigh. "I cannot believe you talked me into this. What if I try to run for office one day, and my opponent pulls out a video of me here playing strip poker?!"

"That's why we made it a rule that it's down to underwear only, so it's harmless," Noah pointed out.

"I thought it was because Owen would've stripped naked if we allowed it," Tyler grumbled as he looked at his cards. "I'd actually prefer to take off my underwear before my headband, actually."

"Sadie feels the same about her hair bands," Katie said as she studied her cards. "I wish she was here. She really needs to pick up her poker game."

"I wish Lindsay was here," Tyler said with a sigh.

"We all wish she was here to play strip poker," Duncan said, wiggling his unibrow. Courtney elbowed him, hard.

"I wath wondering where Bridgette and Ethekiel are," Beth asked aloud. "I mean, I know why some of the the others, like Eva and Heather, wouldn't join us."

"I think Bridgette wanted to show Ezekiel around nature, get him to like it after all the bad experiences," Cody said. He drummed his fingers together, trying desperately to focus on the others, and not Gwen, not on Gwen, don't stare at Gwen, oh gosh was that black bra hot on her, no don't stare!

"Back to nature, huh?" Duncan said, his wicked grin getting wider.

"Now cut that out," DJ scolded him. "You know they're just friends."

"Bridgette isn't the type of girl to fool around with another guy, Duncan," Courtney said in agreement. She was using her card hand to hide her chest.

"Zeke is a lonely boy with a girl as hot as Bridgette while alone in the forest," the punk continued. "Either he's going to ravage her, or he's going to be ravaged when she fights back."

The door to the boys' side of Killer Bass cabin swung open. Ezekiel stood there, a complete mess. He was covered in mud and sticks and bug bites, was completely soaked, and blood was trickling down from his swollen nose.

"I...," he muttered, "_hate_ the outdoors!"

As he stormed over to his bunk, Bridgette came in too, apologizing profusely. "It's not that bad, Zeke! That was just bad luck!"

"What happened to you, man?" Harold asked as Ezekiel struggled to get new clothes out of his bags. "You fall in the lake?"

"It was only to get the ants off," Bridgette said in defense.

"Ants?"

"Well, after he tripped on the tree root, he fell on the anthill," the surfer girl admitted.

"Did you hit him, or something?" Duncan asked, staring at Ezekiel's swollen, bloody nose. "I knew he would try to hit on you."

"He didn't," Bridgette snapped at the criminal. "It was mostly because of the snapping turtle in the lake."

Gwen winced. "You need some cream for those bug bites, Zeke?"

"I'm taking some with me to the communal washrooms, eh," the prairie boy grumbled. "After that, I'm locking myself up indoors and never coming out!"

"Aw, c'mon," Bridgette whined as the home schooled boy left the cabin. She sighed and shook her head. "I really wish I could convince him that fresh air is a good thing."

"I wouldn't put money on that," Noah remarked. "But speaking of putting money down, Bridgette, care to join our game? It's going really well!"

"I can see that, yes," Bridgette said as she looked at Gwen in her underwear, then at Harold and Owen. "Maybe next hand."

"Something tells me it will open up soon," Noah said, a very sly smile. "Everyone's in this hand, so show 'em!"

He won, with a pair of sixes. Horrified and upset moans echoed across the cabin as Cody and Beth applauded for the egghead. He grinned as he watched Trent's other shoe, Gwen's garter belt, Duncan's eyebrow (and final) piercing, Katie's first shoe, Tyler's sports jacket, and Courtney's pants were all discarded.

"So humiliating," Courtney whimpered as she sat there in her underwear, slumped in her chair. Duncan patted her shoulder in comfort, while Izzy rose up and left the table.

"I'm out," the redhead remarked as she sat down next to her near-naked boyfriend. "Nothing on that I can discard, at least not while there's a camera, ya know."

"Care to wager your dignity and clothes, Bridgette?" Noah said to the surfer girl. "Three losers so far, and only one winner."

Bridgette tapped her chin. "I'm not sure, I'm not the best at poker."

Noah cocked an eyebrow. "Perfect."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's almost literally a full house.)**

Katie - "I'm almost there, Sadie! You lasted nine challenges, I'm on challenge number seven! I really hope you're doing well over there, it must be great to have Justin there with you! I'm enjoying my own man candy here. Love you!"

* * *

Ezekiel grumbled as he walked into the communal washrooms. "Stupid ants, stupid turtle, stupid nature..."

One of the showers was running when he went in. It could only be Heather or Eva, but neither intimidated Ezekiel out of getting out of the shower. Disrobing and stepping in the shower, he let the water wash away all the pain.

"Who's there?" Heather's voice came from the opposite stall.

"Just me, eh."

"Oh hi, Zeke. How was nature with Bridgette?"

"Meh."

Ezekiel wanted this to be over. Ever since Heather had kissed him when there was snow on Wawanakwa, the prairie boy had avoided her. He had told Bridgette and Tyler what the queen bee had done, and both agreed that it would be best for him to stay away from her evil plans.

"That's a shame," she said with her sly tone. Her shower stopped, and she exited. After applying her large amount of make-up, she headed out. Noticing a towel on a hook near the showers, she grinned as she snatched it up and left the washroom.

Ezekiel peeked out and saw the empty hook. With a satisfied grin, he took the second towel he brought from the hook inside his shower stall and put it on the hook outside of his shower stall.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We can smell fear.)**

Ezekiel - "I really wonder aboo't that girl, eh. I mean, how could anyone wear that much make-up? It's so unappealing that the girl is twenty-five percent paint. That's why I prefer Bridgette, she's plain, eh."

\He blinks, then waves his hands at the camera.\ "I mean she keeps it plain, eh! She's gorgeous! Gah! Well... you knoo' what I mean, she is very pretty. I just wish she wasn't obsessed with the outdoors, eh. There's gotta be more things she likes."

* * *

Katie, down to her underwear, was glaring at Bridgette. The surfer girl, who was merely missing a sandal, grinned at her.

Noah was still fully dressed. Gwen and Tyler were down to their underwear, DJ was half-naked, and Cody was missing his shoes and shirt. Trent looked over at the five losers in their underwear.

Duncan was trying to pull Courtney close to him, but she was so embarrassed about being in her underwear around the others that she kept pushing away. "C'mon, princess," he said, "Owen and Izzy are making out!"

"That's crazy girl and the big oaf for you, but that's not my style! I don't make out when all my friends are around."

Bridgette giggled as she watched Noah dueled, and the two locked gazes. The two best card players, they were determined to overthrow the other.

"You're good, Noah," she replied.

"So are you. You were lying earlier when you said that you weren't, right?"

"Maaaaaaybe. Just wanted to show up the big bad card players who thought you could take nice peoples' clothing."

"You are one to talk," Gwen chided her, slugging her friend's shoulder. "You took my stockings and half of DJ's clothing."

The football player shrugged as another hand was served. As they studied their cards, the intercom spat out a high-pitched whine before Chris's voice filled the air.

"Attention, campers," he said, sounding amused, "it is time for your seventh challenge! Please, all of you who are in their underwear put all your clothes on and meet us in the middle of the campgrounds."

* * *

"I must say, strip poker would be a great idea for a challenge, but I think the network might get mad at us," Chris said to campers after they lined up.

Courtney was trying to push Duncan away from her, still red in the face. Ezekiel rubbed anti-itching cream on his ant bites, as Bridgette watched him with apologetic eyes.

"Today's challenge will be just as hot, though! Lots of passionate romance! Dancing! Hugging! Kissing!"

The attention of the campers was high now. Chris ramping up this kind of tension on this subject was making them all tedious.

"Because you see, we loved the prom contest from a few challenges, so we're going to bring it back in this challenge which we call... _Filthy Dancing_!

"We are providing all kinds of dresses and tuxedos for you all, as well as high-styled make-up, corsages, and maybe, just maybe, we provided some romantic slow dancing!"

Chef, holding a large speaker on his shoulder, nodded to the campers. The host stood in front of him and clapped his hand. "What you are going to do is get as made up as you possibly can, make your way to the dance stage through the three trials, dance with your partner in the best slow dance you can do, and then... kiss!

"That's right, you will kiss your partner when the chime," Chris pulled out a little sound recorder and hit the play button, which a pleasant chime sound played from, "and make sure you kiss, because any couple that doesn't smooch loses _immediately_. After all eight couples are done, the judging will begin!"

" 'Three trials'?" Beth repeated. "What are those?"

"Good question, Beth! But sadly, I cannot answer that right now, so you don't get a cookie."

"Who cares about the trials?" Heather shouted. "You provide the classy materials, Chris, I'll make this show worth watching."

"By having your partner drop you, I hope," Gwen replied.

The queen bee glared at her, then smiled back at Chris. "So, we get to pick our partners, right?" She sent Ezekiel a side glance, but he promptly ignored it.

"Nope, not at all," the handsome host replied. "You see, today's couples and today's judging are both going to be done by the same people: our viewers!"

He held up a cell phone, and it gleamed in the light. "You see, my good campers, between the eight boys and the eight girls here, our campers are going to be paired up by the highest amount of text requests! Many computers are sorting through their requests now, choosing the first couple to be together."

"So we rely on the choice of complete strangers on who we ask to the prom, and how good we look?" Katie asked, looking startled. "That's... that's brilliant!"

The other campers stared at her. "Well, it's either that...," she whispered to them, "or let Chris decide." They all nodded and whispered agreement.

"Now the rules are like this," Chris remarked. "No one try to throw this contest, no matter how much you don't like your partner. Once you get your partner, there is no way to change or swap them.

"The couples will all be judged at the end, as I said. Those getting six, seventh, and eighth place are going to be the people who have to vote someone off, no immunity of the six. The couple who gets first place get to spend the weekend on a romantic cruise together; they will also get to vote for one of the six people who gets the boot tonight!"

" 'A romantic cruise'?" Trent repeated happily. He looked at Gwen and winked; she blushed and cocked her head cutely.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one would take us on one.)**

Gwen - "A romantic cruise? With Trent? Without Heather watching us? Oh wow... we have to win this!"

Duncan - "This'll be cake. All those viewers at home know I'm with Courtney, and we're easily the hottest couple as far as people on the internet are concerned. Easy, too easy."

Eva - " 'Kissing'? We _have_ to kiss someone?! And what is up with some of these challenges? This show was a wild, challenging show, and now it's all froofie and girlie! Yuck!"

* * *

"This isn't fair," Harold muttered. "Leshawna's not here. If I win, I'll have to go with someone else."

Chris raised an eyebrow. "Well, actually, if it's okay with both of the two who win first prize, one of you can take someone else. That will, however, leave one person romantic cruise-less, and I don't know how much they'd like that!"

Noah shrugged. "Not exactly a big loss. Unless you have someone special to go on a romantic cruise with, you really shouldn't go with them. Not to mention, you probably have cameras on the damn thing for all the perverts out there."

"Nope, no cameras on this cruise ship," Chris said happily. "You and your date are going to enjoy privacy! Which is something you people playing strip poker never did get, huh?"

Cody looked thrilled. DJ looked nervous. Courtney was both, and tried to look professional.

"But what are the teams, eh?" Ezekiel asked, scratching his head under his toque.

"Eager, huh?" Duncan elbowed him. "Wanna see if the folks at home paired you with Heather or Bridgette?"

"Duncan, will you drop that?" Bridgette replied, crossing her arms. "We're really tired of you making those insinuations."

The conversation would have continued but Chris cried out when his cell phone started to ring (the ringtone was the TDI theme). "The first couple is... oh, what a surprise! Duncan and Courtney!"

The criminal let out a cheer and lifted the CIT up in the air in celebration. "Put me down, Duncan," she shouted as the other campers cheered for the two.

"Now with the first couple chosen, the remaining fourteen campers are still partnerless! The texts have started up again, and we will be getting the next one shortly!"

Duncan and Courtney began discussing what they were going to wear to make themselves look the best couple possible. "No, Duncan! No cleavage!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one would take us on one.)**

Courtney - \sarcastic\ "Thank you, people at home. No really, _thank_ you! I mean, you've given Duncan more reasons to paw me." \She starts to stroke her collarbone, then flinches in realization of what she's doing.\ "And I hate that! It's so typical of him, the Neanderthal!"

Noah - "I personally don't care who I get paired up with, really. No one wants to be with me, so I guarantee you I'll be one of the few last. No one appreciates the smart guy until they want a better cell phone designed."

Katie - \She twirls a strand of hair around her head.\ "I know who _I_ want to be my partner; too bad he doesn't know it. Izzy and Sadie know it, though! And well, I know."

* * *

After a few minutes, the cell phone rang again. The host answered it as the campers waited anxiously.

"And the second couple chosen by our faithful watchers is... Gwen and...," the host paused as he reread the boy's name. "Umm... Cody."

" 'Cody'?" the campers repeated in unison.

"WHAT?!" Gwen shouted, looking horrified and stunned.

"Wait, me?" Cody, after getting over his shock, replied. "Are you joking, Chris?"

"No, man, I ain't," the host said, looking as shocked as them.

"This is ridiculous," the goth girl shouted. "How could all the viewers do this?! They _know_ I'm with Trent!"

"Chris, is there any chance that someone could have rigged the voting?" Trent asked intrepidly.

"Aw, c'mon, dude," Cody cried out, looking hurt.

"Not you, just some nut out there."

"We use state of the art technology for this text voting," the host remarked, indignant. "There is no way some punk managed to rig the voting for Cody and Gwen to be a couple."

* * *

**(In a simple house in western Canada.)**

The little nine year old girl giggled in front of the computer, typing away. On her computer screen were two programs, one a live-screening of Total Drama Comeback. The other was a hacking program that was on a pink menu, outlined with kitties and hearts and the monogram "Pearl's Lil' Hacking Program."

"That's all I wanted," she said as she giggled. "There you go, Cody! You're the nicest cousin ever, and I know how much you wanted one kiss from Gwen!"

* * *

Gwen cast a side glare at Cody, and the tech-geek raised his hands in defense. "You... don't think I had something to do with it, do you?" When the goth girl didn't reply, he continued. "Now come on! How could I hack into a cell phone voting contest, that I didn't know of until now, while on this island?"

She continued to look mad until Trent patted her shoulder. "Gwen, don't blame him. It's not his fault it came to this."

With a long sigh, the goth girl let out a long sigh. "Alright alright. But Cody? Don't think much into this."

The Codester raised his hands in defense. "It's all good, Gwen. I roll well with platonic."

The cell phone rang again, and the host opened it again. After reading it, he raised a sly eyebrow. "And the fun continues! The next couple is Ezekiel... and Bridgette!"

Surfer girl and prairie boy looked quite surprised by this, but she recovered and smiled at her friend. "That's cool."

He nodded in agreement. "I think we work well enough together to pass."

Katie nudged him, a sly grin on her tan face. "Oh Zeke... you get to _kiss_ her!"

Ezekiel suddenly looked very nervous.

"Thith thure is getting interething," Beth cheered as she clapped. Eva snorted, which led the farm girl to nudge the fitness buff. "Come on, even you gotta be excited by this."

"I don't dance," she replied shortly. "And I don't wear dresses."

"You know, thome girls I know wear tuxedos to dances. Maybe you could try that."

"You mean dress up as a boy?" Eva looked agitated by this.

"They looked really good in them, no kidding! Hey, if you do it, I'll try it too!"

The fitness buff looked at the farm girl for the first real time, confused. "Why?"

"Oh, I dunno, it theems like an interesting idea! I think the lath time I wore a dreth, I didn't look tho good! Maybe I'm more of a tuxedo girl!"

Eva stared some more, then shrugged. "Sure, if you do it, I guess I could give it try. Anything is better than wearing a dress."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We'd look bad in a dress too.)**

Beth - "Eva just needs a friend on thith island. Maybe that'th the reathon thee's tho upthet most of the time."

Eva - "Beth, if I'm getting her name right, she's a strange one. She acts so friendly and keen with me, and everyone really. Except Heather. I guess that's good enough reason to give her a chance, even though she looks like a push-up would kill her."

* * *

"The next couple is...," Chris said after the answering the cell phone a fourth time, "Beth and Harold!"

"Two nerds with awkward glasses together," said Heather. "How fitting!"

While Harold glared at her, he was glomp-hugged by a happy farm girl. "We're gonna be great," she shouted. "And if we win, you can take out Leshawna!"

"Really?" Harold's face lit up. "You mean it?"

"Of courth!"

"Yes! Thank you," the brunette nerd hugged the farm girl in gratitude.

Trent smiled at Beth. "You're too generous, Beth."

"I try," she said with a modest shrug.

The cell phone rang again, and Chris answered it. With an evil smile, he looked at the campers. "You're not going to like this one, folks," he said. "Heather... and Trent!"

Gwen's face twisted in more horror and shock than ever before. "No," she shouted. "No no no no NO!"

"Sorry Gwen, it's final," the host said in a way that wasn't quite sympathetic.

"Aw poor Gwen," Heather cooed as she draped herself on Trent's shoulder. "Can't handle it? You really should-"

"Heather, get off me, please," Trent said, polite but firm. The ravenhair did as asked, her smile still as sinister.

Gwen fumed, hissing in air. Her temple felt like something was trying to claw it's way out. Cody tried to voice his condolences, but her fury was not diminished. She turned to him, grabbing his collar.

"Gwen, please believe me, I have nothing to do with thi-"

"I know, I know," she whispered. The cell phone rang, but Gwen continued to whisper to the tech-geek. "I didn't think I'd say this, but I want you to do your best, your _very_ best! I will not let that girl win!"

Cody nodded and smiled. "Anything to help you, Gwen. In fact, anything to defeat that wicked witch."

"And the next couple is," Chris was saying, "Noah and Katie!"

The BFFF let out a happy squeal and glomped Noah, almost knocking the egghead over. "That's a very nice body slam," he groaned as he tried to rebalance himself. "Is DJ teaching you how to tackle for football!"

"Now this will be interesting," Bridgette said. "The most cynical guy with one of the most perky girls."

"I know, isn't it exciting?" Katie cried, hugging Noah tighter.

"Help, she's trying to kill me," he strained. "Save me from the prom, I beg of you!"

She continued to giggle and snuggle him. He rolled his eyes, but submissively stopped trying to get away from her.

"That leaves only four more of you," Chris said. The phone, as if on cue, rang and he answered it. "And the last pair to be decided is... Eva and Tyler!"

The two athletes gazed over at each other. She narrowed her eyes into a glare, he snorted and crossed his arms. She curled her lips into a snarl, he cracked his knuckles. She placed her fists on her hips, he smirked like a predator.

"Yes, those two will be getting along ju-uuuuuust fine," Courtney remarked.

"That only leaves us two last people," Chris said as he looked at the final two. "Izzy. DJ. You two are going to be the final couple."

Izzy had crawled up on DJ's shoulder and sat there, rubbing his skull cap. "This will be fun," the redhead chirped.

"I'm sure we'll get along fine," the gentle giant replied, quite nervous.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one would take us on one.)**

DJ - "Izzy likes to talk about hunting and killing exotic animals. I'm not sure I want to be dancing alongside her."

Tyler - "First Lindsay has to leave, then they pair me up with Lizzie Borden the athlete!" \He sighs, then looks over at the camera, glum and bummed.\ "Lindsay, I miss you so much."

Noah - "Miss Hyperactive, I Get Giddy When the Moon is Full, she will be the death of me. I am certain that that girl has so many feelings of joy, she'll be squealing throughout the challenge and deafen me."

Heather - "You people at home, thank you so much. This is too perfect for words, I think I'll really enjoy this challenge."

Ezekiel - "K-kiss Bridgette? Oh God. Geoff, if you're watching this, I apologize from the bottom of my heart, eh!"

Beth - "Harold's a really nice guy. I'm thure he and I will do well!"

Gwen - \She is livid, glaring at the camera something fierce.\ "Okay, for all you people who voted for Heather to be with Trent..."

\**The following minute and a half has been censored. We will not even provide this in the uncensored, uncut DVD of Total Drama Comeback. Seriously, where did she learn language and descriptive torture like that?**\

* * *

"Now before we allow you all to get glimmered up," Chris jumped in, "we are going to allow you all one hour to get to know your partner better, if you didn't know them that well. Learn to dance, learn to kiss, plan out how you're going to look. Just please remember, if you start any fights, you will have to stay bruised and scratched up beforehand.

"Yes, Gwen, that is mainly meant for you."

The goth girl scowled darkly at him, crossing her arms in a huff.

* * *

" 'Learn to kiss'?" Eva shouted in a terrible huff. "What kind of crap is that?"

"Well, we are going to be judged by the people on our performance," Katie said, shrugging at the fitness buff. "If we are going to try and impress the people watching, we should be giving a really good kiss as a finale."

"That makes sense," Duncan said, nodding at Katie. "People do like to watch a good, slobbering kiss!"

"Duncan, knock it off, you pig," Courtney snapped at him.

"You disagree, princess?" the criminal said, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Here, let me show you why a good kiss could be the win or loss of this challenge."

He took Courtney in his arms, whirled her around and tilted her, then covered her mouth with his. She let a muffled cry, struggled to get out of his grasp, balled her hands into tight fists... then swooned and went sunk into the enjoyment that was Duncan.

"Yes, you... really proved your point," Heather remarked, crossing her arms. "Honestly, Duncan, are you..."

Courtney began to rub her hands on Duncan's back and moaned as the punk continued to kiss her. Even Heather was rather taken by this, and had to pry her eyes away from the heavy smooching.

"W-Well," she stammered, "I think they might want their time alone soon, or something. Trent, are you-"

"Don't," Gwen snapped, getting right up in Heather's face, "You. Dare."

"Are you that insecure?" the queen bee snapped at her. "You don't have much faith in him if you-"

"I meant," the goth girl spat, "that you'd better not dare even _say_ anything! Don't you dare even suggest it!"

The two girls continued to glare at each other until Trent stepped in-between them, trying to get some peace within the group. He managed to get the two apart from each other, which surprised most of the other campers.

Bridgette looked over at Ezekiel and smiled. "Think you'll be ready?"

The prairie boy pulled his toque down over his eyes. "Everything except the kiss part, eh. I doo'nt think I have it in me to kiss a girl who's taken."

The surfer girl shrugged. She walked over to him and began whispering, low enough for any of them to hear. "I really don't mind, Zeke. I know it's platonic. I'm just glad the viewers didn't pair you with Heather."

Ezekiel sighed. "I could handle her. At least, I hope I could, eh."

She raised one of her eyebrows at him, still smiling. "Not feeling anything for her, are you?"

"I could never like a girl who feels it is necessary to degrade people with every sentence she utters."

Bridgette nodded. "I just wish you could be with one of the girls, because of the whole kiss thing. I'd like to see you with one of the other girls for a chance to date someone."

They were interrupted when DJ ran between them, screaming in terror. Izzy was following him, holding up her dead, fake wolverine. "No, DJ, it's dead! And fake! I want to wear it with my dress! Is that okay?"

Beth was shouting her excitement, spraying spit all over the place as she jumped around and cheered. Katie, equally happy, was squeezing Noah; the egghead begged to be put out of his misery. Eva was right in Tyler's face, the two of them growling dogs ready to attack. Gwen and Heather were sending sideways glares of utter, loathing hatred.

"Yes, this is a gold mine for singles, eh."

A light 'whump' alerted them both, and they looked to see Duncan and Courtney had finally fallen over. The two were now making out on the grass, the two moaning and groping each other.

"I doo'nt think you have to go that far, eh," Ezekiel remarked, though he was sure they weren't listening.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one makes out in here.)**

Bridgette - "Zeke doesn't realize how platonic kissing can be nowadays. My friends and I share platonic kisses, it's nothing to be nervous about. I really pity the guy, how he grew up without any experience with other teens; I don't mean to degrade his parents, but what were they thinking?!"

* * *

Bridgette giggled as she watched Courtney and Duncan. "So much for discreet," she said, before looking over at Ezekiel with her lazy green eyes. "Think we should practice too?"

Ezekiel whirled around to her, wide-eyed, then he chuckled. "Good one, Bridgette. Almost believed you for a minute there."

She cocked an eyebrow. "You thought I was joking?"

"Now, c'mon, practice kissing?" Ezekiel chuckled, though his heart was really starting to pound. "That's a line that I think Duncan or Cody would have tried."

"Hey, I resemble that," Cody called to him, grinning impishly.

Bridgette shrugged. "Fine then. But are you going to be able to kiss me when we get on that stage?"

Ezekiel began to stammer. Most of the other campers began to look at their partners and also felt some nervous tension.

"No practicing," Gwen said to Cody, who smiled as if to reply, "No problem."

Eva and Tyler were now so close, face to face, that their noses were mashed together. Their growling was intense now, like pit bulls ready to strike.

Izzy grinned wickedly at DJ. The football player winced as she snaked over to him and said, "You want to practice? I'll show you why Owen likes being with me."

He whimpered and took a step away, not liking any of this. Especially when Owen nearby chuckled and said, "Yes, she is a good kisser. Like being ravaged by a Tasmanian devil, it's wild!"

Noah looked at Katie, who was batting her eyes at him. "No," he replied.

"Awww, c'mon!"

"No, we'll be fine. I'm not interested in making out on TV."

Katie continued to pout, kicking at the ground. "This is no fun. And I just know Chris has some surprises for us that'll make the dance and kiss not as fun."

"That'th true, remember the three trials part of his speech," Beth spoke up. "I think he'll be making uth do thome really dirty tricks for us."

"Yeah, the dickweed," Harold remarked, crossing his arms. "It's bad enough that he's pairing people up and making them slow dance 'n kiss when more than half the couples have been separated."

"You cannot actually blame him for his one," Trent remarked. "It was the voting that did us in."

"We've digressed," Heather said, smirking at the handsome musician. "Weren't we talking about practicing kissing?"

It took the combined efforts of Cody, Harold, and Trent to keep Gwen from leaping at Heather and tearing her apart. They couldn't stop the swearing, which startled all the people who weren't making out.

"My, she's better than the worst flamers I've ever seen on MMORPGs," Noah said, while Katie was shivering behind him, gripping his shoulders when whimpering.

DJ was hiding behind Izzy, who was clapping for Gwen. "That was great! You curse like my cousin!"

Bridgette shook her head, as if to shake away the foul words. "Boy, I feel really bad for her."

"I just saw my woor'st fears come troo', eh," Ezekiel said nervously, tapping his fingers together.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Put Geoff in Gwen's place, and me in Heather's place. Oh, and remove the people holding the assailant back.

"No actually, take away the assault, Geoff wouldn't have to kill me with his hands. He'll just be thinking it so hard that his thoughts will slay me, eh."

She actually chuckled at this. "You worry too much. Geoff is the nicest guy in Canada. He won't be mad at you over this."

Ezekiel still looked upset. Duncan and Courtney were still making out. DJ still looked terrified by Izzy.

The surfer chick playfully slugged the prairie boy's shoulder. "C'mon! We aren't going to win if you keep acting like it's going to be your execution! Surely kissing me isn't as bad as some of the other things we've done?"

He took a deep breath and nodded. "But why practice?"

"Because I think you're too nervous, and if we don't kiss, we lose immediately."

"Oh... I forgot aboo't that, eh."

"Yeah, so I think a little kiss would be good to make sure you're not so jittery," she said with a shrug. "It's really no big deal, I kiss some of my friends."

"Really?"

"Yep. Bugsy, Norm... Sabrina..."

She chuckled, tapping her toes into the ground shyly. "Um, it was a dare, by Geoff, no less. But you might like Sabrina, she fancies your accent."

"You two digress too much!"

Cody popped up between the two, wrapping his arms around their shoulders and pulling the two together. "C'mon, kiss! I want something good out of this event! I mean, look at the others."

Beth and Harold were trying to practice kissing, but Harold's lip was caught in her bracer; he cried out in pain as the farm girl tried to pull it out. Gwen and Heather were now shouting at each other, Trent watching intrepidly and begging them not to fight. Noah was holding Katie at arm length by his palm to her forehead, as she was making kissing noises.

Eva and Tyler were snarling at each other, gripping the other's collar. DJ was asking Izzy to get off his back as she shouted how she was going to be the cheerleader that scores with all the athletes, which Owen laughed and pretended to be a cheerleader, rooting for the redhead. Duncan and Courtney were making out all over the grass, the punk's hand under her shirt and both of hers under his.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - This place sure is wild before the challenges.)**

Ezekiel - "This place is a madhouse. A madhouse, eh!"

* * *

Cody looked between the surfer girl and the prairie boy, grinning impishly. "Now c'mon, you two! We don't know what deathly traps Chris has prepared for us! We might all die, horribly and slowly (Lord knows I almost did first season)."

Bridgette couldn't help but smile. "What say you, Zeke?" The home schooled boy chuckled nervously, then gave a faint nod. Bridgette placed her hands on his shoulders, and leaned in.

"Now remember to tilt your head a little so your nose doesn't mash into hers, don't go light that it looks like you're forced to kiss her, and for God's sake, Zeke," Cody shouted, hopping up and down next to them, "put your arms around her, she's not your relative at a family reunion!"

Bridgette shot Cody a side-glance and said, "Thanks, but back up a little, Cody."

The tech-geek did as asked. Ezekiel, heart beating hard, decided to do what Cody suggested and put his right arm around her waist, his left hand on her shoulder. What was extra awkward to him was that, minus his toque, Bridgette was actually a couple inches taller than her.

She curled her arms around his waist, and whispered, "Remember, just as friends. No tongue."

" 'T-Tongue'?" Ezekiel began to really freak out at this. "Wh-what about tongue? What does the tongue have to do with ki-"

He was shut up by Bridgette, who had to start the kiss. Ezekiel, wide-eyed and heart thumping, was too much in shock to realize it all in the first second. Then he really felt her lips against his, her heartbeat against his chest...

When she parted, his eyes were half-closed in this surreal feeling. The prairie boy tried to speak, but all that came out was, "Guh..."

"Oh dear, you shorted out his brain," Cody remarked, shaking his head. "That's not going to be good for the contest, Bridge."

"Cody, c'mon," she chided him. She gave her partner a squeeze around the waist to catch his attention. "Zeke, breathe!"

Ezekiel shook his head and did as told. "S-Soor'y."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Taking your breath away.)**

Ezekiel - \He is hanging his head, pulling his toque down over his eyes.\ "This is so ironic, eh. Heather kisses me to muddle me up, it doesn't work. Bridgette kisses me as a friend, I get torn up inside, eh."

Bridgette - "You know, I think Courtney may be right." \She taps her fingers together, looking to the side nervously.\ "If Ezekiel really does still have a crush on me... have I been too forward?"

Ezekiel - \He stares down at the floor more before looking up at the camera.\ "Is this why they call them crushes? Because it feels like your heart is being crushed by a piston? And you'll want more, eh?" \He lets out a heavy sigh.\

Bridgette - "I guess it's because I'm so used to hanging out with the boys and such. I didn't realize..." \She sighs too.\ "... I just hope I didn't give him false hope."

Ezekiel - "Maybe it would have been best that I had been paired with Heather, eh. I just wish... that I didn't like Bridgette this much, eh. It's not fair to her that her partner in this challenge is... well, me."

Bridgette - "He doesn't really know me all that well, I'm not that incredible. I mean, I vomit easily, I demand that people recycle, and I have used the men's locker room to change more times than I care to amount here."

Ezekiel - "... 'Course, I also have a tendency to pick my nose, eh. And I wear this hat religiously, and I love crappy zombie films that they shoo' on TV. So there's no reason she'd want me."

Courtney - \knocking loudly on the side of the outhouse\ "Right, she doesn't! Will you let me in there and talk? You can lament your stupid loss later!"

Ezekiel - "Hey, I doo'nt listen in on yours, Courtney! \He looks over at the camera with a shrug.\ I thought she was still making out with Duncan! Oh well, eh."

* * *

**Part 1 is over. The challenge takes part in Part 2, partially!**

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Seems the contestants are really warming up in this contest. The three trials, if you want to hint, are you going to be spoofs of three beauty-obsessed reality shows: _Are You Hot?_, _The Swan_, and _American's Next Top Model_.

Here's another hint: the way they are spoofed is not how you think. \evil grin\

And here are the eight couples, if you need a reminder:

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1.) **Duncan **and** Courtney**

2.) **Gwen **and** Cody**

3.) **Ezekiel **and** Bridgette**

4.) **Beth **and** Harold**

5.) **Heather **and** Trent**

6.) **Noah **and** Katie**

7.) **Eva **and** Tyler**

8.) **DJ **and** Izzy**


	22. Day 7, Part 2: The 'Limo' To the Prom

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. This story has also officially reached second base before I have, dammit.

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**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**Raven Hufflepuff** - Jason X? I haven't seen it yet, but don't worry, I've got enough ideas for this show. Hehe.

**Araleon** - No, this isn't all written out. I'm just good at writing, comes from doing it almost all my life.

**Sam7418** - I actually like a great deal of the characters, from Beth to Tyler. Cody is a bit of a favorite of mine because we have a lot in common (geeky brunettes who really like girls that don't feel the same way, oh well).

**Amaya Uchi** - Eeeek! No killing! \runs away in fear of being next\

**Dementous** - Why, thank you! IMA WRITIN' MAH CHAPTAHS!

**randomhottiexoxo** - Who'd vote for Heather and Trent to be a couple? The world is full of strange people, just browse the internet long enough. Or, for the sake of your sanity, don't.

**Blazing T-Rex** - Of course I'm evil, I'm the Kobold Necromancer! \laughs evilly, then gets a sore throat and coughs\ Yes, I am busy, because work is picking up on the hours. Still, you all are getting the new chapters fast, and there's plenty other stuff to read, TDI fanfiction is really picking up.

**Hgirl1884** - Hey, I waited until now for their hormones to get the best of them.

**Phasian** - Awww. Hey, Geoff and Bridgette will still have love. Just not all the fanfictions can have all the couples together all the time. I'm having hard enough time with the sixteen campers as it is. \wipes forehead\

**To Everybody** - Hmmm, you all seem pretty sure Katie's crush is Noah. BUT IS IT? Muahahaha! ... Well, probably, you'll just have to wait and find out! \more evil grinning\

And now, on with the show!!

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* * *

**Chapter 22 (Day 07, Part 2)** - I'd Do All This for Just One Kiss

--

**(At the Playa des Losers)**

"I think Geoff is trying to drown himself with these drinks," Leshawna remarked to Lindsay. "Poor guy has drunk twice as much as any of us."

"He's drunk too?" Lindsay gasped. She stared at her grape soda. "I didn't know you could get drunk off these!"

Geoff, moaning as he let out a series of relieving belches, started on his tenth drink. Justin put a hand on his shoulder, telling him without words that he was overdoing it. The party animal gave a weak nod and fell back in his chair.

"Geoff, you want to be ready for tonight," Sadie told him. She was sitting next to him, trying to finish a fourth drink. "Bridgette's gonna be looking her best on TV, and you don't want to feel sick when that's happening."

"She always looks great. She's so beautiful and pure and... and...," he looked close to breaking into tears, "I don't want her being voted off again! Because of me!"

Leshawna patted his back. "Sweetheart, it wasn't even your fault first time-"

"No, you don't understand," Geoff whined, hiccuping as he slurred. "Last time, when we were on the island, I could... could have warned her! Now this time... they'll vote her off... because she's my girlfriend!"

"Geoff, calm down," Sadie said. "She's going to be fine."

* * *

**(At Wawanakwa Island)**

Bridgette huddled in a corner, covering her head and trying hard to stop shaking. Her normally lazy eyes were huge with terror, her breath was ragged, and her heart was pounding so hard it was in danger of exploding.

"The horror...," she whimpered, "the horror...

"What is it with girls and make-up, huh?"

She looked over at the girls' changing room door, the source of the terror. The sound of a chair being smashed came from inside the room, and she flinched. Gwen bolted out of the room, slamming the door behind her, and leaned against it to prevent any of the other girls from coming out and making further attempts on her life.

"All that... just for green lipstick," she whimpered. "None of them wear green except me, none of them would even consider green!"

She noticed Bridgette huddled in the corner, and walked over to her. "Are you okay there, Bridgette?"

"I have seen war," the surfer whispered, "and it's as every bit as gruesome as grandpa made it out to be!"

"And you didn't even want any, that's the crazy part," Gwen replied, helping the blond girl up to her feet. "Eva almost brained you with that hair dryer, are you okay?"

"I didn't even think she'd want make-up."

"She doesn't. More than likely she just wanted to throw something."

The two, after collecting their wits, went over to the selection of dresses. Bridgette wanted something blue, Gwen wanted some black.

"So how is it going between you and Zeke?" the goth girl asked as she looked through the selection.

"I think we have a good chance at this, so long as he doesn't freeze up at the kiss," the surfer replied. "He's extremely worried Geoff will kill him."

"Geoff? Kill someone? Never," Gwen replied with a chuckle. "He's probably grateful you got a partner like Ezekiel, while my boyfriend is going to be a succubus."

The goth girl then found a slender black 'n green dress that looked like it was made for her. She took it off the rack, and held it to herself to see how she'd look in it. "Wow," she commented, "this one is perfect."

"Black, I see," her surfer friend remarked, smiling. "Cody is really going to dig that."

"Hmm?" Gwen looked confused, then upset. "Oh right. Cody."

"You really don't seem to like him. I mean, I can understand why, he is a bit of horn dog. But he truly does admire you."

"He probably just wanted to get into my skirt the first season. Now, I'm not so sure. He still has that eager smile every time he looks at me, like he still wants me."

"There are worse things in life than boys liking you," Bridgette said. She had found a dress that was a swirl of blues, looking like the flowing water she loved to surf.

"Still," Gwen said, sounding unsure, "as much as he reminds me of the hormone-driven guys at school, I think it's possible he truly likes me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I was on the same team as Heather and Lindsay. If Cody really was chasing skirt, why me over Lindsay?"

"Maybe he doesn't like blonds."

The two shared a good-natured chuckle before heading back to the changing room. The sound of Katie and Heather screeching at each other, while Izzy was imitating a machine gun made the two girls beat a hasty retreat to the communal restrooms to change.

* * *

Ezekiel sat in a chair in the communal restrooms. Chris had told them that they could only afford the construction of one changing room, which all the boys seriously doubted; he was just being cheap.

"Gosh," Harold pulled an orange and pink tuxedo from the rack, "I have, like, no sense of fashion, and even I know this is bad."

"Chris must have been hoping one of us would pick that," Cody remarked, peeping out of the shower stall he was changing in.

Tyler, who was trying a dark red tuxedo, noticed his prairie friend wasn't changing or even looking. "Something bothering you, dude?"

"I doo'nt knoo' if I can do this, eh," he admitted.

"This about Bridgette?" Duncan asked; the punk was combing his unibrow, trying to make it as smooth as possible.

Ezekiel rolled his eyes, but it was pretty hard to deny it. "I don't know if I can kiss her on live TV, while her boyfriend is watching."

"It's not that bad, man," Trent said. He was straightening out the smooth, blue suit he was wearing. "I mean, at least you two like each other. I have to kiss Heather... if I can go through with it."

"Why not just not kiss her?" Cody called out.

"Can't do that, Chris said no throwing the contest," the musician replied sadly. "He might give her invincibility, or just have me walk the Dock of Shame."

"I'm sure he would," Noah said matter-of-factly. "Nothing would send a stronger message than that. He has to make sure we actually do this crazy stuff, or the ratings die."

"Well, I still think it would be better if we didn't have to kiss," DJ said as he tried for the third time to tie his tie. "I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Alexandra."

"Dude, I'm sure she'll understand," Duncan replied. "I mean, you're not kissing crazy girl because you want to, you're doing it because you have to."

He sprayed some breath mint into his mouth before continuing. "Plus, if we know Izzy, she'll be the one grabbing you and smooching until you cannot breathe." DJ stopped tightening his tie and swallowed hard.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one changes in here.)**

DJ - "Duncan just voiced my concern about this whole contest. Whatever Chris throws at me, it can't be as bad as Izzy coming at me."

Duncan - "Man, I am loving this. I mean, I really thought I'd never get to experience the prom, as froofie as that may sound. But hey, if you had a girl like Courtney, you'd want to go to the prom too, huh?"

* * *

A knock on the door alerted the boys. "Guys?" It was Bridgette's voice. "May we come in?"

The guys exchanged glances, and wondered what this was about; still, guys couldn't deny girls wanting to come into their changing room was more than likely a good thing. "Sure, come on in," Trent called to her.

Gwen and Bridgette entered, carrying their dresses and high heels. "Thank you," the goth girl said as she closed the door behind her. "The girls' changing room is a war zone, and we wanted to be somewhere a lot more calm."

"So of course," Bridgette added, smirking, "we decided to change our clothes where all the men are."

"Fine by us," Tyler said.

Bridgette then noticed Ezekiel. "Zeke, what are you waiting for? You're not changed or anything."

"I...," the prairie boy said, staring shamefully at the floor, "I doo'nt think I can do this, eh."

"Oh yes, you can," Bridgette said. She placed her dress on a nearby chair, and yanked Ezekiel off his seat. "You are, at the least, going to try."

He swallowed. "O... okay."

"That's the spirit," Tyler shouted, thumping Ezekiel on the back. "Get rid of those pre-prom jitters and get into your suit."

"Might also want to consider not wearing the toque," Gwen remarked, "even if it is signature of you."

"Oh, _Gwen_...," came Cody's voice from the stall.

She turned to look as the tech-geek stepped out, grinning slyly. He was wearing a formal, raspberry-red suit with white trimming. A white cravat was draped down his chest, as he had parted his hair with a stylish peak.

"How do I look, huh?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow slyly.

Gwen stared. Cody looked, and she didn't think it were possible, quite handsome. She smiled and said, "You look nice, Cody. Very nice."

"Why, thank you," he remarked, lowering his voice in what he was hoping would sound manly, but was seen as comical to all others.

Ezekiel, despite Gwen's suggestion, didn't want to go without his toque. He agreed to let Bridgette brush and comb his hair so he would look more formal. Soon, his screams and strained grunts of pain filled the air, as if Bridgette was torturing him.

As the boys and the two girls prepared, there was another knock on the door. This time, it was Beth and Eva.

"We're going to try tuxedoes thith time," Beth explained to them. "Do you mind, Harold?"

"Naw, whatever makes you comfortable."

Eva, desperate to get out of the communal washrooms, grabbed the first tuxedo that caught her eye. Despite Tyler calling out to her, she left in a huff.

"Oh, this is not going to be good," the brunette athlete muttered, shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" DJ asked him.

"She took the orange and pink tuxedo."

* * *

About an hour later, Chris called all of the campers to the performance stage. He looked over at them with a pleased smile.

"Let me just give you all a quick review before we begin the three trials," he said, starting at Trent and Heather.

Trent was wearing a royal blue tuxedo with a red tie, a golden pin adorning his collar. He had slicked his hair back, like if a gust of wind has stuck them that way. Heather was wearing a bright red dress that displayed a great deal of her cleavage, while a long slit revealed her right leg. It was obvious she was wearing a lot of make-up, and her hair was set in a stylish braid.

"You two look great," Chris complimented them. "Like a real prom king and queen!"

Gwen stared to shake, indignant rage filling her very core. Cody put a hand on her shoulder, reminding her that a fight was the last thing they needed.

Chris stopped in front of them next. He raised his eyebrows in approval of Cody's raspberry tuxedo and Gwen's black 'n green dress. "You two look very nice too! Not quite prom queen and king, but I'm sure you'll touch the hearts of the viewers!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The Prom Cam!)**

Cody - "All I can think of, after he said that, was that this was my real chance to prove myself. At school, they don't think much of me, which is why I'm so surprised that I am a major hit online. So this contest will prove I am the man! The man with the master plan!"

\He air guitars a little, then grins.\ "Prom King Cody has such a nice ring to it. Prom Queen Gwen sounds great too; she so could be prom queen at her school."

* * *

Chris was snickering when he approached Tyler and Eva. The male athlete looked good in his red suit, but Eva looked more than a little awkward in a pink and orange tuxedo.

"Eva," he said between chuckles, "you actually picked that one?"

With one angry fist, the female athlete lifted the host up. "Yes, I did. How do I look?"

"G-Good," he whimpered. "Very good! The pink compliments your skin, and the orange compliments... you!"

After she finally let go, he went over to the other couple that were both in tuxedos. Harold was wearing a royal purple tuxedo, while Beth was wearing a baby blue tuxedo. She also had a large ribbon in her hair of the same color.

"Not bad, you two," the handsome host said as he looked them down. "Beth, I think you look good in a tux. This might be a hit or miss with the folks at home!"

Duncan and Courtney were next. He was wearing a pure black tuxedo with a silver skull pin on his lapel. She was wearing a green dress that matched his mohawk, as did her dark green earrings and ring.

"What a lovely couple," Chris said as he looked them over. "Duncan, you look great. Courtney, you look great too! You could be the Wawanakwa king and queen, easy!" Courtney flushed a little at this.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Whoa, Chris is being nice!)**

Courtney - "I actually never imagined being prom queen at my school. I'm much more of a brains girl, and brains don't win contests like prom queen and king. So here, I can win it! Vote for Courtney and Duncan, people!"

* * *

Noah and Katie were an unusual couple. She had a dress on that was bright pink, a cyan brooch with gold trimming, large and round blue earrings, elbow-length white gloves, and her normally pigtailed hair was down to her shoulders. He was wearing a bright red tuxedo with a blue shirt, dual gold pins on his lapels.

"Not bad, you two," the handsome host said, smiling at them. "You look super!"

"I told her she looks like a princess," Noah remarked. Katie giggled and snuggled his arm, smearing her cheek blush on his sleeve. He rolled his eyes as she cried out in horror.

Ezekiel and Bridgette looked like the average couple, though pleasant. Bridgette's flowing-blue dress matched Ezekiel's sea green tuxedo, and she was wearing a corsage of blue and green flowers; she wore her ponytail down now, her blond hair on her shoulderblades.

"You two look cute," Chris said, winking at them. "Bridgette, no make-up?"

"I'm all-natural."

"Hope you at least shave your legs," the host remarked before heading over to the last couple.

Izzy looked like a genie rather than a prom date. She was wearing a glittery green dress, while her top, trimmed with silver sequins, was like a genie-styled bra. The redhead was wearing her frizzy hair in a ponytail, a green 'n silver tiara, and long gold earrings.

DJ, wearing a dark green tuxedo, looked more than a little uncomfortable next to her, even though she was holding onto her arm and smiling politely.

"Izzy," Chris remarked, raising a dubious eyebrow, "what... were... you... thinking?"

"This is based off of peoples' opinion, and I thought I would appeal to the audience," she said with an impish giggle. She began to dance her slinky, rattlesnake dance. "I'm DJ's genie for tonight, and I might grant him three wishes!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Rub Izzy the right way, baby.)**

DJ - "I have only one wish: to survive tonight."

Izzy - "I wonder if he'll try to rub my belly!" \She giggles, then looks startled.\ "Oh my God, is that how you get a genie to grant you wishes? My aunt once said that it was the bottle, but maybe it's the belly!"

* * *

"Now that we've seen all eight couples," Chris announced, "we will begin our first challenge: the Red-Hot Carpet!"

He gestured to a long red carpet that spanned all the way to the lake. Owen, in a handsome white tuxedo, was standing on the right side next to the start of it. Chef, in a beautiful, flowing black dress and a tiara, was standing on the left side. Both of them were holding small remotes.

"You must run across this red carpet all the way to the lake. But please be careful of the," he grinned sinisterly, "rise in flame!"

Owen and Chef pressed buttons on their remotes, and flames burst along the sides of the carpet. The two fiddled with the joysticks, and the steams swayed and dipped.

Several campers screamed in horror, a few clinging to their dates. Izzy was almost squashed by DJ's massive, trembling arms.

"Just run across the carpet, avoid the fire, and arrive at the lake for the second trial," Chris informed them. He laughed and added, "Hope you ladies didn't put on too much hair spray!"

Heather looked terrified; she had used a lot of hair spray.

"Time to see how many of the men here are really hot," the handsome host said. "Guys, line up and...

"**GO**!!"

Duncan was the fastest, holding down his mohawk. He nearly took a fire blast to the face, and he screamed some very naughty words at Owen (mainly because he didn't want Chef to aim for him).

Cody ran through as fast as his scrawny body could take him. Ezekiel's sleeve caught fire, and he stopped, dropped, rolled, and cursed Chris. Harold was crawling on his stomach, wheezing in terror.

Tyler's legs were running so fast, his body was leaning back from the speed. Fire continued to spray right over him, like some daredevil limbo game.

DJ ran through screaming, "Don't burn me, bro, don't burn me!" Noah was clinging to his back, using him as a transport. Trent followed them from behind, shielding his eyes from the bright glare of the flame.

"Do not loose face, my fellow men," Cody shouted back at his friends, "because through the fire and the flames, we'll carry on!"

"I doo'nt get what that's supposed to mean, eh," Ezekiel shouted. A stream of fire went off inches near his face, and his neatly combed hair was singed. "Oh, what a burn!"

"I've been in flame wars worse than this," Noah shouted. "Charge forth, my trusted mount!"

DJ was startled to see Noah riding him, but his panic was too great for him to care. With a scream, he zipped past all of the other boys, the egghead flapping behind her like a flag (a screaming, singed, wide-eyed flag).

They all managed to reach the other side. Trent and Ezekiel desperately stuck their heads in the lake to put out the hairs that were still on fire. DJ dived straight into the lake, while Noah fell face-first in the ground. Cody and Duncan exchanged a relieved high-five that neither of them were burned, while Harold finished his ground crawl.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Too hot to handle.)**

Harold - "I knew my practicing to be a stealth spy would pay off one day. Not a singe on me from that first challenge."

* * *

"Okay then, they're all alive," Chris told the girls. "It's time for you ladies to run across the Red-Hot Carpet! Are you re-"

He was interrupted when Izzy let out a battle cry, tore off the majority of her skirt, and bolted down the carpet. The host watched her for a couple seconds, then turned to the seven other girls. "Well? Go follow her!"

Heather ran through with her back almost parallel to the ground, her hands on her hair. Gwen was nearly flamed from behind, and her black 'n green hair caught on fire. Beth, ever the helpful soul, stopped to help her bat it out.

Bridgette's hair almost caught fire at the end, and she ran faster as a trail of smoke trailed behind her. Courtney and Katie were screaming and running at the same time, proving women can multitask. Eva barreled through, too fast for Chef or Owen to tilt the fire streams in her direction.

At the end of the carpet, Ezekiel helped douse Bridgette's hair in the lake. Gwen let Cody splash some water on her singed hair, as she winced in pain. The other girls, minus Eva, all had singes on their clothes and hair. Izzy's clothes, the remainder of them anyway, were clean; she was still holding the torn part of her dress, which was burning steadily.

With a loud 'whoop,' she chucked it into the lake. "What's next?" she shouted, her insatiable grin back.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Char-broiled to perfection.)**

Duncan - "Okay, I'm fully convinced: Izzy is insane. As in loco, cooky, whack job! Man, how did her parents raise her, with electric shocks to the head when she misbehaved?"

* * *

"The second trial is called Swan Lake Swimming," Chris said, jerking his thumb at the lake. "You all are going to be riding on tiny water sleds that go really, _really_ slow."

"Well, what's the point of that?" Heather asked, brushing the ash off her dress.

"You're going to need a little balance to not tip over, first off," the host explained, "and you never know what other surprise we may have."

The campers exchanged concerned looks. DJ, who was still soaking wet, shrugged and said, "It cannot be life-threatening, guys. Didn't see any dangerous water creatures, like piranha or sharks!"

Relieved, the sixteen campers went over to the small dock that was at the side of the lake, where the small water sleds. The tiny vehicles were so narrow that they all had trouble staying balanced on them. Tyler, Beth, and DJ lost their balance immediately, and fell into the lake before the challenge even began.

Some of the other contestants couldn't help but laugh (or did so anyway), as they started off down the lake. Chris wasn't kidding when he said the rides were slow, for the teens could have walked faster than them.

"Jeez, these things are the pits," Duncan complained as a butterfly passed him on the right. "Why can't we get something with speed?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Duncan," Courtney snapped at him. "I couldn't handle a fast ride."

"I could," Izzy said. The redhead was turned around, having opened up the compartment that the engine was in. "In fact, I refuse to be passed by another minnow, I'm modifying mine."

"Um," Gwen spoke up, "are you sure you can do tha-"

There was a loud roar from Izzy's water sled, and her ride rocketed forward. With a loud scream of pure, unbridled excitement, the redhead held her hands up as she rode her water sled backwards.

Cody, eager to prove his tech skills, fiddled with his as well. When he managed to kick his into gear, he managed to hold onto one handlebar before flapping like a flag as his water sled shot off.

"Not bad, campers," Chris shouted through his megaphone on the side. "Now let's see you like it when we kick it up a splash! Owen!"

The very large teenager let out a loud cheer, bolting towards the lake. With a shout of "Bonzai," he leapt into the water in cannonball-style. The splash from the weighty teen kicked up a large wave.

"Oh hell," Eva cursed.

"Oh damn," Courtney shouted.

"Oh YEAH," Bridgette cheered, standing up on her water sled.

The wave rose up and carried the teens to the other side of the lake. Bridgette rode the top of the wave, cheering and waving one fist in the air.

When it crashed on the other side, most of the campers had wiped out and were a soggy mess on the bank. The only dry ones were Cody, Izzy, Gwen, Duncan, Bridgette, Harold, and Katie.

"I am really hating my prom right now," Noah grumbled as he wrung the water out of his jacket.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Hehehehehehe... wipe out!)**

Heather - "Well, my make-up was running because of that stupid Owen-wave, I was soaked, and so was Trent. Several hours of work, _ruined_! Chris has destroyed a work of art."

Beth - "I was soaked completely..."

DJ - "... covered in lake slime and mud..."

Courtney - "... and it was getting worse by the second."

Harold - \grinning\ "Bring it on, Chris! My skills are well-prepared!"

* * *

"The third trial is the Abandoned Busted Model," Chris said, gesturing to a five-story tall building. It surprised a great deal of the campers, since they didn't recall a building being there before.

"Our interns managed to change the shop class building into this derelict," the handsome host informed them. "Your goal here is to enter the door ahead of us, climb up the five flights of stairs, then head over to the other side of the roof. You will then begin to descend, which isn't easy.

"After all, the stairs heading down are on the opposite side of the floor, so you'll be running back and forth and back and forth, until you come to the front doors!"

"You expect us to do all that in high heels?" Heather shouted.

"And tight tuxedoes?" Tyler cried out.

"And in that ruination of a building?" Gwen protested. She pointed at a large hole in the side, which was just one of many.

"Look, it's not all going to fall down," Chris told them. "I mean, watch out on the floors and stairs, I cannot promise safety on them!"

"This is insane," Courtney yelled.

"This is suicide," Ezekiel whimpered.

"This is dangerous," Trent complained.

"This is _great_," Izzy gushed, then bolted for the building.

Duncan slapped her forehead as the redhead darted into the derelict. "Damn it, someone put a leash on her."

Cody and Harold were the next ones in, and the rest followed suit. Chris was right about the steps, because they kept breaking under their feet. Noah was stuck in-between a couple steps until Katie pulled him free. Heather broke a heel, and had to hobble up the stairs.

"Carry me, Trent?" she asked the musician as she plopped down on the third floor.

Gwen whirled around and glared at the back of Heather's head. Trent tried to tell her no, but she wasn't moving. Finally, the musician caved in and hoisted her onto his back; he tried to look apologetic to Gwen, but the goth girl was already off in a huff.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - This isn't the stairway to heaven.)**

Gwen - "I need to go back and apologize to Trent after all this. It wasn't his fault that witch was being difficult on purpose."

Heather - \She cooes and bats her eyes as she stares up at the ceiling.\ "Trent is so strong and well-formed. Gwen hon, if you ever see this, I want you to know how comfortable your boyfriend was."

* * *

At the roof, the sixteen campers headed across to the other side. DJ suddenly disappeared, as the floor gave out under him. He plummeted through each floor, loud crashing sounds as he slammed to the ground floor.

"Owww," DJ cried out after he hit the bottom. "Ooooo... well... I found a shortcut."

Tyler leaned over the side. "Hey buddy, we'll be down there to help you soon," he shouted. "Just don't move in case you hurt your spi-"

The floor of the already broken roof gave out under Tyler's feet, and he fell through the holes that DJ created. Everyone winced as they heard the brunette athlete landed right on the football player.

"Owwww," Tyler wailed. "I landed right on DJ's keys!"

The fourteen campers quickly ran down the roof, down to the fifth floor. Harold tripped on a loose floor board, hitting the dusty floor. Ezekiel's foot broke through the floor, Bridgette pulling him out but unfortunately tearing off his pant leg.

On the fourth floor, Beth slipped down the stairs, and knocked Izzy and Eva down, piling up at the bottom of the stair flight. Katie crashed through the boards and down on the third floor.

As Noah helped her back up when they all reached the third floor, the skinny BFFF let out a strained moan. "I hope my prom isn't like this."

"Well, at least it's better than the music they'll play," Noah remarked.

Duncan and Courtney were hacking up dust, Ezekiel was getting dizzy from running up and down the flights of stairs, and Trent was getting sweaty and ragged from carrying Heather.

When they finally reached the second floor, Gwen almost fell through the hole DJ and Tyler went through, but Cody managed to catch her. Izzy actually jumped down the hole, and began helping her partner up.

At the ground floor, all of the campers except a ragged Tyler were out the door; he insisted to Eva that he needed a couple more seconds to recover.

Chris watched as the scratched up, dusty, and woozy contestants ran through the front door, grinning wickedly. "You all look terrible," he giddily pointed out, clapping. "Well, most of you. Gwen, Cody, Noah, Bridgette, Duncan... you all look alright."

"Thank you," muttered Noah. "Remind me to never take a shortcut through an abandoned building again."

"Well, now that the three trials are done," Chris said as he headed over to the open door of the derelict building, "it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for!"

He began to swing the door closed, and Eva noticed Tyler was coming through the doorway. "No, wait," she shouted, "don't shut that doo-"

Too late. Chris swung the door shut, and it slammed right on the brunette athlete. His muffled cry of pain alerted the host, and he opened the door again. An unconscious Tyler toppled over out of the building.

"Oops," Chris stated. "Sorry, Eva, looks like I K.Oed your partner.

"Well then! Who's ready to share a slow dance and kiss their partner for the end of your prom?" he shouted, pumping his fists into the air.

Eva was trying to slap Tyler awake, but it was only making his face red with hand prints. Cody scratched the back of his head as he looked nervously at Gwen, who was still glaring at Heather. Trent finally let Heather down, and the ravenhair gave him a sly look as she thanked him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not exactly sitting in a tree...)**

Gwen - "Well, here it comes. I have to kiss the boy who crushed on me while my boyfriend kisses the girl I hate more than anyone else on this world. It's official: God hates me."

Bridgette - "I really wish we didn't have to do this. Geoff, I miss you so much. Zeke is a good guy, but this is killing him. And, I'd rather be kissing you."

Harold - "My skills got me through the three trials alright, I think. It's up to Beth and I to do the best we can do. I can only hope my lip doesn't get stuck in her bracer again."

Duncan - "Folks at home, you know Courtney and I are the couple of this island. And hey, if my parole officer is watching this, consider how well I've been behaving so I can go to a real prom afterwards, k'kay?"

Eva - \She slaps her forehead.\ "Well... that's just great. The big finale, and my partner is unconscious. Like having my goalie M.I.A when the opposing team is ahead."

Trent - \He shakes his head in shame.\ "I really, really don't want to do this. Would Chris really throw me out of the contest if I refuse to kiss her?"

DJ - "Well, I've been lit on fire, drenched in the lake, and fell through five stories of a building. Literally, through the stories! But... there is an upside to this. My real prom will seem like a dream compared to this nightmare."

Noah - \He is reading a book before glancing at the camera.\ "It took forever for me to get in the confession cam because they were yammering for so long. So now I'm reading just to spite them."

* * *

**(In cousin Pearl's house in western Canada.)**

Pearl giggled as she watched Total Drama Comeback on her computer, the live-screening bringing her every detail. "Well, cousin Cody, you're on your own from now on. I won't hack the votes for the major win, you gotta earn that. Just give her that kiss you always wanted to."

She made a few kissing sounds, then let out a fake gag. "Kissing is icky, though. It's all older boys think about, I'll bet."

* * *

**Part 3 coming soon. Reading this doesn't spite us, we love when you read.**

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About the Challenges:

**Red-Hot Carpet** - Spoof of _Are You Hot?_, a show where the winner has to be the most physically attractive. \rolls eyes\

**Swan Lake Swimming** - Spoof of _The Swan_, a show where the contestants go through all kinds of surgery, mostly plastic, to become the most attractive. \rolls eyes again\

**Abandoned Busted Model** - Spoof of _America's Next Top Model_, a show where the winner is the best model. \rolls eyes more than Noah\

--

You all are working up a lot of emotion. Like walking on a tight rope, it is. One false step, and I'll be in the water with the man-eating sharks. Please don't feed me to the man-eating sharks, people.

The next chapter is going to be quite long! Who do you people think is going to have the best kiss? The worst? Who's going to win and who's going to lose? Who'll be overjoyed, and who'll blow a fuse?


	23. Day 7, Part 3: With Two Times More Love

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. This story has also officially reached second base before I have, dammit.

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**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**ReaperXIII** - I like Izzy a lot too, so I know what you mean. But Owen knows that most people on the island are driven away by how weird she is. Since DJ is one of those people, he's not jealous; you know what a generous, understanding guy Owen is.

**Super Poof** - Hey, don't hate Pearl for doing a little hacking. At least she didn't put Trent with Heather.

**Dessydemona** - Heather's back story will be revealed eventually, just cannot say when. And I cliffhanger you because I care. Hehe.

**alienphantom** - Aw, thanks! But as much as I like my writing, I'm sure TDA will be better at comedy and less drama than I fit in. I cannot wait for it, hehe.

**Volvochick** - Yeah, I really wonder who likes to watch reality shows about models. Oh well. About Geoff, he's not drunk, it's just emotion and caffeine, which can cause a strange effect on people.

**Sam7418** - No, you didn't say anything about bad about Cody, you just asked if I was a fan. Not a squealing fangirl, but a fan nonetheless.

**Raven Hufflepuff** - Hmm, Jason killing people. Well, actually, I do have a thriller-themed episode about a different horror movie series that, in my opinion, has _seriously_ worn out it's disgusting welcome. And that's all the hint you're going to get. \evil laughter\

**Falling Smoke** - I actually wonder why Tyler, Ezekiel, and Cody aren't coming back for TDA, and I think maybe the voice actor who did them (all three of them) wasn't able to get his contract renewed or something. Darn.

**To Everybody** - Sorry this is taking so long. You might have to wait a little more time for updates, as I am now in the World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King beta. Needless to say, I have quite the distracting hobby now.

And now, at long last, on with the show!!

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* * *

**Chapter 23 (Day 07, Part 3)** - Elimi-date-tion

--

"I know that most of you have boyfriends, girlfriends, morals, ethics," Chris said to the contestants, "but you're going to throw those away tonight for the finale of _Filthy Dancing_! So get your hormones in gear, pull that handsome stud or gorgeous chick up against you for the slow dance, and once the chime plays at the end of the sound, give 'em an big ol' el smoocho!" The sixteen campers exchanged glances, looked either nervous, excited, frustrated, or blank (the last one being Tyler, still unconscious).

* * *

**(Con... Fession... Cam!)**

Eva - "My handsome stud is still knocked out! I don't know what he expects me to do."

* * *

"Izzy, DJ, you two may go first!"

The redhead, her dress self-torn so far up that her green panties were slightly visible, grinned and nodded fervently. The football player, scratched and bruised and soaked, gave a nod that looked like a man on trial accepting his sentence.

With Izzy leading DJ onto the performance stage, the two began to slow dance as the music played. She snuggled against him with a warm smile, but her lithe form compared to his large body was a bit mismatched.

Ezekiel and Cody began to dance by themselves, as if to practice. They flashed DJ a couple thumbs-up when he turned around towards them, which boosted the big guy's morale just a little.

The music swelled, and Chris played the chime sound. Izzy leapt up with her feet on his hips, hands on his shoulders, and gave him a very big, long kiss.

Several campers cheered, several were grossed out. When Izzy and a dazed DJ walked off the stage, the redhead exchanged a high-five with Owen.

"You're sure to win with a kiss like that," the lovable oaf said.

"You're not mad, are you?"

"Naw, I knew you had to do it," he picked her up in one of his bear hugs, "and I know that you'll be saving the last dance for me!" She giggled and snuggled up in his arms, which was a little difficult since he had her arms pinned down in his big ol' hug.

"Next will be Beth and Harold," said Chris.

The two social outcasts took to the stage and began dancing, though it was a bit awkward. Beth was a little more than half Harold's height, so the lanky teenager had to bend down slightly for her. Pretty soon though, his back was acting on him.

"Pick me up," she whispered.

"What?"

"Pick me up!"

Harold did as told, lifting Beth up off her feet and began swinging around. Many of the campers burst out laughing, though a few of them found it a sweet gesture.

The chime played, and Harold nervously leaned in to kiss her. She kissed him gingerly, careful not to catch his lip or whiskers in her bracers. Luckily for them, that didn't happen.

"Not bad, you two," Chris said as the campers applauded them. "Next up are Heather and Trent!"

The two were a messy pair, soaked and dirty and, in Heather's case, make-up completely ruined. As the two began to dance, it was obvious Trent's heart was not in it; in fact, he looked physically repulsed.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Plenty of video responses.)**

Trent - \He is looking furious with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed.\ "At that point, I didn't care if Chris kicked me off the island. Dancing with Heather is like playing with a snake, one with venom, a quick strike, and no mercy."

* * *

When the chime rang, Heather cupped the musician's face in her hands. Gwen let out a choked cry as she turned away, eyes closed tight. Cody put a comforting hand on her shoulder as Heather and Trent kissed, her much more than him.

"Hurt yourself with that much, Trent?" Chris taunted him as they left the stage. Heather grinned wickedly at the campers, especially Ezekiel. The prairie boy rolled his eyes and looked away, trying not to dignify her with any more of a response.

"Next is Noah and Katie! Please, put a little more effort into this, people," the host pleaded with them. "You'll kill the ratings!"

He wasn't let down. Katie snuggled up to Noah as the egghead swayed her gently to the romantic song. The two moved so gracefully, the song seemed to be made for them.

"That's the best dancing I've seen yet," Courtney whispered as she watched. "Duncan, I want you to dance like that, without your hands on my butt, thank you."

Duncan let out an disappointed sigh as he watched Noah and Katie dance. "So how did those two dorks get to be so good?"

"Katie's got experience dancing, eh," Ezekiel pointed out. "Probably taught him a few lessons."

"They look so good together," Bridgette cooed.

Right after she said this, the chime rang. Katie puckered up, Noah pulled her up as he gave her a long kiss that made campers of both campers cheer.

"Way to go, bookworm," Gwen shouted as the kiss ended.

"They don't teach you how to kiss like that in books, now do they?" Tyler agreed, slapping Noah on the back.

Katie, blushing and giggling happily, was glomp-hugged by Izzy. "So, what's it like, kissing your crush?"

The BFFF tried to shush her, but it was out there and all heard her. Noah looked shocked more than anyone. "You... you have a crush," he started, more stunned than he'd ever been in his life, "on me?"

She ran a hand through her hair, a couple nervous giggles spilling out. "Ehehe... I like smart guys. Even though you're a bit negative-"

"A 'bit'?" Gwen repeated, raising an incredulous eyebrow.

"And a tad lazy too-"

" 'Tad'? Trent cried out.

"... but you have so many more admirable traits, like your memory and your smarts and your clever solutions..."

She stopped when the egghead put his hands on her slender shoulders, his sly grin back but now, so much more pleased rather than condescending. "And don't forget," he whispered, "my great taste in optimistic, perky, talented girls."

He kissed her again. She popped her foot as most of the campers burst into wild cheers.

"Okay okay okay," Chris shouted, waving his arms. "The new couple is great and all, but we still have a _challenge_ going on here! You know, the thing you people have to do to earn invincibility!

"Next is Eva and Tyler!"

The ravenhair athlete looked down at her unconscious partner. "And just how do you propose I get him to dance?"

"Not my problem, Eva! You got to do something, though, or it'll be an instant loss for both of you!"

With a frustrated groan, the fitness buff dragged Tyler up on the stage and lifted his limp body up on his feet. Dragging the poor, unconscious dude on his feet, Eva managed to pantomime a slow dance with his body.

Too bad it was the most ridiculous, hilarious thing that the campers saw.

Ezekiel, Cody, and Beth had fallen down laughing. Duncan and Heather doubled-over, while Katie clung to Noah in a desperate attempt to stay on her feet.

"Shut up, shut up," Eva was snarling as she "danced" with Tyler. The chime rang, and the fitness buff yanked him up to plant a wet, one-sided kiss on his lips. Grumbling and cursing under her breath, she dragged his still-motionless body off the stage.

Ezekiel began to choke from laughing so hard; when he cleared his throat, he gave Bridgette a friendly nudge. "Well, I'm good now. Nothing makes someone moo'r confident than seeing someone else wreck it moo'r-so than I could, eh."

Chris, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes, choked out, "That... that was... great... Eva. N-Next... next is Duncan and Courtney!"

The opposite-attraction couple took the stage. Duncan did what Courtney asked, and danced without his hands on her butt. She huddled up close to him, at first for effect but then because she was really getting comfortable against that lanky yet muscular body of his.

"Ah, if only Geoff were here to see this," DJ remarked, beaming at the couple. "We knew from the start she liked him."

When the chime rang, Duncan tilted Courtney over and gave her a long kiss. The campers cheered again as the couple stepped off the stage.

"Passionate and naughty as always," Cody remarked, winking at Duncan. "Nice, man."

"Thanks, dude," Duncan high-fived the tech-geek.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Requires basic motor skills to enter.)**

Duncan - "Don't ask me why, but Cody is kind of growing on me. It might be bad for my image, but hey, the guy's not bad at all. I mean, he survived being mauled by a bear, being rejected by a girl he pined for, and also has done a kick-ass job on these challenges."

\He smirks at the camera, running a hand through his mohawk.\ "Oh, and Courtney, she's really nice to dance with. So soft and cuddly..." \He begins to chuckle, looking quite pleased.\

* * *

"Now for the pair I've been waiting for the most," Chris announced. "Bridgette and Ezekiel!"

The prairie boy began to tap his fingers together, shaking a little in apprehension. He felt Bridgette's warm hand on his. She smiled at him, and the two went up on stage.

Having slow danced with Bridgette before, he knew what to do and where his hands went; however, the fact that he was missing a pant leg was making him dance awkwardly. Bridgette helped him pick up the pace.

When the chime rang, he almost froze up. With a small squeeze around Ezekiel's waist, Bridgette leaned towards him, her lips partially puckered.

They kissed. Both of them were not fully into it, but well enough to count as a real kiss. When they parted, he whispered, "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," she replied, smiling. "You did fine."

The two were greeted by cheers and applause, their friends voicing their approval. Heather looked miffed at Ezekiel, and turned her nose up to him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Howdee-doo.)**

Heather - "Meh, I don't care. I just am trying to grind his gears, that's all. How could he not be thinking about me looking furious at him like that?"

Ezekiel - \looking very ashamed\ "Oh wow... she has such soft lips, eh... GACK! No no no, delete that, edit it out, please! I shouldn't be saying it... but wow... she's a good kisser. GACK, I did it again, eh!"

* * *

"And last, and definitely not least, Cody and Gwen," Chris shouted after the cheering died down. "Now c'mon, don't be shy!"

Gwen was immediately unhappy, and Cody's grin faded when he saw her frustrated frown. "Um... Gwen? If you really don't want to do this-"

"No, it's cool," she said as she seized his hand and almost dragged the confused tech-geek onto the stage.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Hi-diddly-do there, camper.)**

Gwen - "I had to do this! If Trent could kiss Heather, I could kiss Cody! Though it's nowhere near as bad, but he suddenly wasn't the hesitant one! I couldn't believe it!"

Cody - "First she's fervently against kissing me, then she drags me up on the stage. I really, really wish I could understand her... NAH! I like her being mysterious! But at least, I'd like to know how she really feels about me."

* * *

The two began to slow dance, Cody moving far too slowly because he was worried about how far was too far with Gwen. The goth girl had to grip his wrists and place them on her, then started to lead the dance.

"I'm so sorry about this," he whimpered. "I don't know what to do here-"

"Cody," she interrupted, "just dance, please."

She leaned against him, and his heart thumped harder as he felt her breasts push against his chest. This was everything he dreamed of except one thing: she looked like she'd rather be in a war zone.

When the chime rang, Gwen and Cody hesitated again. They stared at each other, trying to think of how to do this. Chris, tapping his foot, cleared his throat.

"C'mon, kiss now," he cried out, throwing his hands up in frustration. "You got five seconds!"

Cody, desperate to not lose this, whimpered. With a frustrated sigh much like one of Gwen's, he muttered, "Surybouthis," then swooped in and kissed her.

The goth girl's eyes widened at this, and just when she fully gathered what the tech-geek was doing, Cody's lips were gone. Chris let out an annoyed grunt at the kiss being two seconds long, but threw his hands up in defeat.

"Okay okay, that's good enough, I guess," he cried out. "Might not be enough for the viewers, but that ain't my problem." The two walked off the stage, looking depressed and upset. Their friends tried to cheer them up, including Trent giving Gwen a hug.

"You sure look upset for someone who finally got to kiss Gwen," Noah said to Cody.

"It doesn't really matter," the tech-geek replied, "when she doesn't want to be kissing me." Katie patted his shoulder in comfort. Chris, meanwhile, had pulled his cell phone out and was looking at the screen.

"Okay, campers, the votes are coming in," he announced. "We've had quite a few interesting performances... so who is going to win:

"DJ and Izzy's frenetic kiss,

Beth and Harold's 'uplifting' dance,

Heather and Trent's forced kiss,

Noah and Katie's new relationship,

Eva dancing with unconscious Tyler,

the classic Duncan and Courtney,

Bridgette and Ezekiel's friendly kiss,

or Gwen and Cody's awkward moment?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Like the Cliffnotes for the show.)**

Eva - "Well... that sucked."

Heather - "That was fairly easy at the end. Gwen's disgust was delightful, and I'm sure I'll get at least third. First would be nice, but thanks to Trent, I'm not counting on it."

Noah - \He is staring off into space, blissful. He notices the camera, and simply waves at it.\

Bridgette - "Ezekiel managed to pull through. We have a good shot at this." Gwen - "I'll never understand Cody."

Cody - "I wish I could understand Gwen."

Harold - "Maybe Beth and I's dance will be original enough to win this."

Duncan - "You know who to vote for, people!"

Izzy - \She is trying to put both her legs behind her head. Shouting, "Wait wait, almost got it," she topples over and falls on the floor of the outhouse.\

* * *

All the campers had to wait a few minutes before the results were finally in. Noah had to stop Katie from chewing her nails off, then had to keep her from chewing on his. Duncan pulled Courtney close to him, as the CIT was shivering in anticipation.

"The results are finally in," Chris shouted. The campers jumped at attention (except for Tyler, of course, the jock was still in Lala-Land). "First place winner is...," the handsome host, then stared incredulously at the little phone's screen...

...

...

...

...

...

"_Noah_ and _Katie_?"

The tan-skinned girl let out a scream of shock and joy, glomping the very startled Noah. The egghead blinked a few times, then began to stammer.

"We... we won?" he said, his normally calm eyes wide.

"We did it, we did it," the thinner BFFF was shouting in joy. She whirled Noah towards her and kissed him, quite passionately, and his initial shock was gone a couple seconds later when he returned the kiss. The other campers, minus Heather, Courtney and Duncan, started clapping and congratulating them.

"I cannot believe this," Duncan grumbled, slapping his forehead.

"Must have been the thrill for the new couple," his girlfriend muttered, exhaling a long sigh.

"Second place is our favorite ying-yang couple," Chris continued after the cheering had stopped. "Delinquent Duncan and Counselor Courtney are second place!" Their friends cheered for them as the couple smiled, glad to get a passing position. Duncan kissed her cheek, and she flushed at the affection.

"Third place is... oh wow, I didn't see this coming," Chris admitted as he stared at his cell phone. "Third place is Gwen and Cody!"

Before any congratulations were given, the host continued. "Fourth place is Beth and Harold!"

The four campers let out sighs of relief. After the congratulating ruckus died down, Chris grinned wickedly at the campers.

"That leaves one more lucky couple a safe spot. After that, the three remaining campers are in danger of being voted off!

"And in fifth place, the final safe position is...

...

...

...

...

...

"Heather and Trent."

There were no congratulations this time, not even for Trent. The musician looked as upset as most of the others, while the queen bee was smirking in triumph.

"Thank you, people at home," she cried out, waving at the camera. "You made the right call."

As Gwen quaked in silent rage, Chris shrugged at the upset campers. "Oh wells. In sixth, seven, and eighth place are Ezekiel and Bridgette, DJ and Izzy, and Eva and Tyler.

"You six are in some serious trouble! Noah, Katie, you two are going to be voting for whom you want to be kicked off Total Drama Island before you depart on our romantic cruise ship!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Eight votes, six victims, one loser, four references to numbers.)**

DJ - "I really don't dislike any of the other five, but we have a lot more team challenges. And I don't want to be Izzy's partner again, I enjoy my life and having all my limbs."

Katie - "Bridgette and Gwen told me that we shouldn't tell those we like to vote for anyone, since it should be their choice and their choice alone. So I'll let Noah pick who he wants to vote for. I'm just shaking with anticipation about the cruise, you know! Sadie hon, it's like a dream come true! I cannot wait to see you in person and tell you it face to face!"

Eva - \Tyler, who is yet still unconscious, is leaning against her. She looks frustrated, but manages to keep her composition.\ "Chris told me that whoever I vote for, Tyler will have the same vote; so I have to be fair here. I know he's friends with Home School and Surfer Chick, so it's either that crazy girl or the big coward."

Izzy - \She has her legs behind her head.\ "I wonder how we lost? I did my best and was so cool! Maybe the jellybean smuggler stuffed the voting texts! But since I don't know who that is quite yet, I'll just vent my frustrations out on my partner."

Ezekiel - "Bridgette really doesn't like that Eva, eh. And you knoo', I'd prefer not to be throttled a'geen."

Noah - \is still staring off into space with a dreamy look\ "... Hmmm? Oh! Yes, I, um, vote for that unreasonable girl."

* * *

The marshmallow ceremony looked completely normal, except that behind the Boat of Losers, there was a giant cruise ship; it was the same one that had taken the boys to the spa, only it had been modeled to look a little more... pink.

"Okay then, campers," Chris said from behind the oil drum. "First we are going to see which one of the six prom dates was voted off by his or her fellow high schoolers. That person will be going to walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and isn't coming back!

"FOR-EVEEEEEEEEEER!

"... And then Noah and Katie will be boarding the romantic cruise ship and be coming back on Sunday."

Noah and Katie grinned, pulling the other closer. The six campers sitting down on the stump chairs looked quite disappointed now. The rest of the campers, watching the ceremony, sighed as they looked at the cruise ship longingly.

"Okay then, you six unfortunate souls," Chris said, looking back to the campers who were at risk of being voted off, "there are five marshmallows here! Which of you has lost Total Drama Comeback?"

Ezekiel and Bridgette exchanged nervous looks. Eva impatiently drummed her fingers against her crossed arms. DJ anxiously ran a finger over his lips. Izzy scratched behind her ear with her foot. Tyler, awake at last but still dazed, rested his head in his hands.

"The first two marshmallows go to...," Chris said with a smile, "Bridgette and Ezekiel!"

He tossed the sweet treats to the prairie boy and the surfer girl. With relieved smiles, they walked over to the safe campers; Ezekiel gave Tyler a comforting pat on the back, but it nearly knocked the woozy athlete over.

"Next marshmallows go to Tyler and Eva!"

Eva's marshmallow was squashed in the fitness buff's fist. Tyler's bonked against his head and knocked him over. With a disgusted sigh, the weight lifting girl grabbed his collar and dragged him off.

"That leaves our mismatched couple, Izzy and DJ," Chris remarked. He cocked an eyebrow. "Which one of you is going home?"

Izzy's sly smirk faltered as she clenched her fists. DJ hunched over, his massive shoulders up to his ears.

"The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Izzy."

The redhead let out a relieved sigh as she snatched the marshmallow in midair. "Hooray, I win again!"

DJ, slumping his shoulders, shook his head. "You know, it's kind of ironic," he said, a sad smile on his face, "because this is actually the first time I have been voted off."

Izzy's triumphant smile vanished, and she glomp-hugged the football player. "Izzy is sorry for you," she said to him, "because it is never fun to be the one who has to go." 

* * *

DJ had gathered up his bags, Bunny on his shoulder. The little rabbit looked sad too, but was lovingly nuzzling his owner's cheek.

"Bye, DJ," the campers called out to him. "We'll miss you!"

He placed his bags down on the dock long enough to smile and wave at them. Then the gentle giant boarded the Boat of Losers as it started on his way off.

"Bye, DJ, man," Tyler approached the edge of the dock. "We'll miss you! You were one cool cat, and-"

He was hit by the side of the romantic cruise ship. Ezekiel helped carry him away, as Noah and Katie boarded the large vessel.

"Have fun, you two," Own called out to them, winking.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Duncan shouted to Noah.

"Don't let him do anything Duncan would do, Katie," Courtney shouted.

Noah clicked his tongue and pointed at his fellow campers as he wrapped an arm around Katie's waist. She waved to all her friends as the cruise ship disappeared from sight.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Our mom hasn't got it going on.)**

Harold - "I'm gonna miss DJ. He was such a big softy, a gentle giant. It's always better to have more people like him.

Courtney - "That was unfortunate, I really liked DJ."

Duncan - "I certainly hope Noah and Katie enjoy that trip! If he doesn't, at the least, get to first base, then I'll feel cheated!"

Heather - "People should stop feeling sorry for him. We are in an elimination game, and twenty of us are going to lose this. 'Better him than me' is what they should be saying."

Gwen - "It should have been Heather, that would have been better."

* * *

"I really appreciate you inviting me this time, eh," Ezekiel said as he looked at his hand. "But if I had known your goal was to strip me naked, I'd've worn more clothing." Bridgette giggled at him. The prairie boy wasn't too good at poker, and had lost his sweater, shirt, and his shoes; he had refused to take off his toque.

Sitting at the table for strip poker were Izzy, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Eva, Gwen, Trent, Cody, and Tyler. Once again, Harold and Owen were in their underwear over by the losers, while Beth waited for her turn.

"Why aren't Duncan and Courtney here, eh?" the home schooled boy asked.

"Courtney was feeling upset about winning second place, so Duncan and her are in the Killer Bass cabin," Bridgette informed him.

"Hello, second base," Eva said, raising an eyebrow. The others stared at her until she stared back. "What? I know what goes on here, even if I'm not involved as much."

"Fair enough," Cody replied. He grinned as the cards were laid down, and he won with a flush. With disgruntled sighs, Trent's shirt, Eva's other shoe, Bridgette's shirt, and Trent's pants were all discarded.

"Nice bra, Bridge," Gwen remarked. The surfer blushed as she nervously covered her chest with one arm, her baby blue undergarment the only coverage.

"Don't make me blush, Gwen," her friend chastised her; Ezekiel and Cody were desperately trying not to stare, holding back nosebleeds too.

"Well, you took my top, it's only fair," the goth girl replied, smirking wickedly.

"This is supposed to be my lucky bra, anyway," Bridgette muttered as she received her new cards. "I wear it to the beach before I change into my swimsuit for surfing competitions."

That did it for Ezekiel. Blood shot out of his nose, and he frantically tried to cover it up. As his friends stared at him, his cheeks became almost as red as the blood. "I, um, fold for this hand, eh" he stammered. "And if you all knoo' a rock I can crawl under..."

"Gosh, dude, want a kleenex?" Harold asked him.

"You know, Geoff did the same thing when he saw me in a bikini," Bridgette said, after repressing the laughter she had almost let out at Ezekiel. "He almost went unconscious."

"Who could blame him?" Gwen said. "Must have been the happiest day of his life."

Bridgette giggled, flushing slightly. "I really miss him," she said wistfully. "I really want to see him again. I was almost hoping I lost that marshmallow ceremony, for one brief moment, just so I could see him again. Is that silly?"

"Not at all," Trent said, looking just as wistful. "You remember how I was at Playa des Losers? Every day, I was hoping Gwen was doing alright, and was worried she hated me all the while."

"Yeah, you were so crestfallen when you arrived, dude," Cody said. "I felt really bad for you."

Gwen smiled at Trent. "I never hated you, Trent. You should know that."

Bridgette watched the couple with yearning eyes. "You two are so cute. But back to game. Who's in?"

"C-Could you all give me a minute?" Ezekiel said as he stood up. "I'm gonna go wash up in the communal washrooms, eh."

"And a cold shower too, home school?" Eva quipped, raising an eyebrow. Izzy cackled and fell out of her chair. Bridgette couldn't help but laugh too, and smiled apologetically. Ezekiel smiled back, and bolted before he lost consciousness from loss of blood.

* * *

The five campers at Playa des Losers had gathered at the dock. The fancy resort was even plentiful there, with several beach chairs, a buffet, and a large TV set up on a Hawaiian-styled table.

"We got fifty-five bottles between the five of us," Leshawna informed them as she was done counting them.

"Boy, did I have to pee," Lindsay grumbled, lounging in a chair. Justin, leaning on her chair, nodded in agreement. Sadie, who was watching Total Drama Comeback on the TV, gave the blond beauty a disgusted look before turning her head back to the screen.

"Geoff sweetheart, you almost got the messages ready?" the large sister asked the party animal.

"Almost, babe." He still sounded depressed. "Just got the important fact that Duncan and Courtney are helping Heather, nothing else."

"Hey, don't forget-"

Leshawna was cut off when she heard the Boat of Losers approaching. The five campers watched as it slowly pulled up to the side of the dock and DJ hopped out.

"Awww, dude," Geoff couldn't help but get up to give his large friend a hug. "I'm sorry, man."

"Not your fault, dude," the football player said, managing a smile. Bunny was still perched on his shoulder, and jumped into the gentle giant's hands when he put down his bags.

"Still too bad, brother," Leshawna added, watching as Lindsay hugged the large guy.

After filling DJ in with everything that had happened, the football player was astonished. "I cannot believe they'd help her," was all he could say.

"Yeah, makes you wonder how far Claribelle would go," Lindsay said. "She might even vote off Brianna because she's dating Geoff."

"Now don't say that," DJ said as Geoff cringed, "you'll jinx it."

The campers headed over to the table where the bottles were, as well as the messages Geoff was writing. While DJ helped to stuff the notes into the sugar water bottles, Sadie continued to watch TDC.

"Bet you're stoked for Katie, huh Sadie?" DJ asked her.

"I sure am," the larger BFFF squealed in joy. "She's got a boyfriend, she won first place, she's going on a cruise... I'm so happy for her!"

She clapped to show her excitement, then she quieted down when the show cut to the Confession Cam. Ezekiel, with a couple bloodstained kleenex in his hand and one in front of his nose.

"Dack," he grumbled, "damn nosebleeds. Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest, eh. Hey, Geoff, you should hear Bridgette talking about you, dude."

The party animal looked up from his work, and began to watch the TV with rapt attention.

"She really misses you, eh. I can't find a fitting word for it, and I got a pretty extensive vocabulary. Point is, I really envy you; you have quite the girl waiting for you, eh.

"So if there's any way you can contact her, try to do so, man. Maybe a remote-controlled plane or something, eh," the prairie boy said, shrugging. "Seems kind of hopeless, but I just wanted to let you knoo'. DJ, if you're over there, I wish the best for you too."

He exited the Confession Cam a few seconds later. The six campers there exchanged looks, and Geoff was smiling again.

"Just one minute, guys," he said as he pulled one of the notes from a bottle.

"_To Bridgette, Harold, Katie, and Tyler,_

_We miss you at the Playa des Losers. Though we send these messages to tell you about the conspiracy going on, we just wanted to remind you we still love you and think about you every day._

_Go and win the whole thing!_

_From,_

_Geoff, Leshawna, Sadie, and Lindsay._

* * *

The six voted off campers watched as the fifty-five bottles with warning messages inside them floated off.

"Let's hope at least one reaches the shore of Wawanakwa Island," Sadie said. Justin nodded in agreement.

"I hope the one with my message does," Geoff said, waving good-bye to the bottles. DJ patted his shoulder in comfort, and the party animal smiled in appreciation.

"I hope if they don't make it, someone finds them and recycles them," said Lindsay.

* * *

**Noah** - Izzy

**Katie** - Tyler

**Ezekiel** - Eva

**Bridgette** - Eva

**DJ** - Izzy

**Izzy** - DJ

**Eva** - DJ

**Tyler** - DJ

--

DJ - 3.

Izzy - 2.

Eva - 2.

Tyler - 1.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ.

* * *

--

--

--

So DJ is the next one to go. Sorry, all you DJ fans.

For all those wondering, and I know some of you have been, I do have this planned out pretty far (not written, just planned). The challenges up to the Final Five have all been planned, as well as the five campers who make it there. Once there, it will be partially my decision who of the five is going win, and partially who the audience is loving the most.

Oh, and I gotta admit, thinking of a short story for Ezekiel x Bridgette is harder than I thought. I cannot think of any original ideas, especially none that involve Geoff having broke up with Bridgette / cheated on her / died / turned out to be an emo, glittery-faced vampire.

Now you all be patient as I try to write up the next chapter, which is going to involve six special animals in more drama, humor, Heather-hate, crushing, and broken hearts than you've seen yet on TDC!

And congratulations on all those that guessed it was Noah. I tip my hat to you. \tip\


	24. Day 8, Part 1: Four Legged Friends

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. There is total and drama and an island here, but those are universal.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**Imagi** - Wow. Well, I'm not going to chain Courtney down to get her to listen, though it's a funny idea.

**alienphantom** & **wingedfighter** - A glomp is like a tackle-hug. Basically, you almost (or actually do) throw yourself on the person as you hug them. The most powerful glomps are the ones that knock the target to the ground.

**colonelZ** - No, I don't hate Courtney. Her powerful grudge-holding personality just makes a good story. If I hated her, she'd be going through a lot worse (or be one of the first to be kicked off, which is what some TDI stories do for characters they don't like). I don't hate any of the characters.

**ironbloodaika** - Wow, thanks for the praise. To reply to some of your comments: this chapter will open up scary for Halloween, I'm still not sure about Beta'ing, and yes, Katie and Noah were dressed up like Peach and Mario.

**Dessydemona** - I'm not divine, I am dark, sinister, shadowy, kobold necromancer! Evil, I say! You believe me, right? Anyway, about Heather, yes she will get more backstory eventually. Whether or not this leads to more Heather x Ezekiel, I ain't gonna say yet. Hehe.

**Super Poof** - WoW is quite addictive. And WotLK is going to saturate my addiction.

**TDIrocks1234** - No, I'm not bringing back two people midseason. This story is going to be long enough without adding two more challenges, and me have other projects planned. \evil grin\

**Amaya Uchi** - I'll have to see what my next project will be before I promise any yaoi, yuri, or any other unofficial pairings.

**mario72486** - By interactive TDI fics, I assume you mean the ones where reviewers write characters like them being in the show to an author? I hadn't planned that, to be honest. Though I wonder how far any psycho character based off me would get in one of those?

**To Everybody** - I know you're all anxious to learn more about TDC, but I'm not going to tell you all what's going to happen. That'd spoil the surprise, suspense, and drama, now wouldn't it? \another evil grin\

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... the campers were all forced to participate in a prom-like contest once again, but this time they had to dance and kiss, yes kiss, their partners!

With some nervous campers like Ezekiel and DJ, the tension was high when it came to kissing. Even the fire, surfing, and abandoned building pre-dance challenges weren't as nerve-wracking to some of the campers! Talk about your priorities...

But in the end, the first place title went to Noah and Katie, who also hooked up, making them the seventh couple to find love on Wawanakwa! Those kids really should be thanking us, you know.

Sadly, DJ had to walk the Dock of Shame after the random votes were tallied up. He joined the contestants who had been voted off at Playa des Losers, who had started up a plan to alert the campers here at Wawanakwa Island of the sinister alliance between Heather, Courtney, and Duncan.

Now with hormones ablazing, our campers might just let their animal instincts get the better of them; seriously, there's been a lot of making out going on. So what will happen when we send these teen animals into the forest? Will more campers hook up? What happens when you present pearls before swine?

These questions and more will be answered in the most animalistic manner on Total! ... Drama! ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song...)_

* * *

**In Memory Of** - I dedicate this animal themed challenge in memory of one of my animals: Dixie, one of my wonderful dogs who passed away recently. A golden retriever, mother of a litter of twelve, and a really gorgeous creature. I loved her, and I miss her still; luckily, I still Amy, one of her puppies all grown up, to keep me company.

So take good care of your pets, people, because you never know how much you'll miss them until they're gone.

This one's for you, Dixie.

* * *

**Chapter 24 (Day 08, Part 1)** - Shepherd's Bane

--

Bridgette stayed huddled in the corner of the shack, her legs pulled up tight to her chest. Her knees, like her cheeks, were stained with her horror-driven tears.

Blood coated her, Geoff's blood. He had died trying to get her to safety, murdered before her eyes. Some of it may have been Chris's, some of it Chef Hatchet's.

Through choked sobs, she felt her heart hammer, each pound threatening to give away from strain. If people could die of fright, she knew she would go any second.

Twigs outside the shack snapped. The door creaked open, and Bridgette's soaked, wide, green eyes stared helplessly. When it was slightly open, she saw the bob of Ezekiel's toque peek over.

"Zeke?" she whispered, her voice high-pitched and strained to a whisper.

The toque was thrown into the shack, and Bridgette could see the thick coating of fresh blood on it. The intruder stepped in, holding the cleaver that was stained with the blood of her friends (and Chris and Chef's).

With cold eyes, the killer looked down at the petrified surfer. Bridgette was frozen, unable to move when the murderer stroked the blade down her exposed legs.

Continuing to torture her, the killer flipped one of her bangs with the bloody cleaver, then scrapped a tear away from her cheek. The murder weapon trailed down to Bridgette's neck, her terrified pulse pushing against the sharpened blade in danger of cutting the skin.

"It's payback time," the murderess snarled as she pulled back the cleaver, preparing a fatal swing...

"TRAITOR!!"

The whooshing air of the cleaver was the last thing Bridgette felt before she woke up. She screamed, gripping her night shirt in a deathlock. Another scream fully woke her cabin mates. Katie, Eva, and Courtney, wrenched from their sleep, were wide-eyed in shock from the high-pitched screaming.

Courtney was to her friend first. She hugged the blond surfer tight, and Bridgette gasped for air as a couple tears of fear spilled from her eyes.

"Bridgette, it's okay, it's okay," the CIT whispered, holding her friend closer to her.

"It... it was so real," Bridgette managed to whisper. "I actually felt that cleaver... I couldn't move... I... I...!"

She saw Eva standing nearby, her eyes almost the same as they were in Bridgette's dream. With a horrified scream, the blond surfer pulled herself from Courtney's arms and backed up against the wall.

"Get away from me," she shrieked, her eyes locked on the weight lifter.

Eva's frown became darker. "What the hell did I do?"

The cabin door swung open, and four guys in their underwear charged into the room so fast, they broke the screen door off its hinges. Ezekiel had his bow with an arrow notched. Harold had his fists up. Tyler was holding a metal baseball bat.

Duncan was holding a large axe. "Cockroach?" he asked the girls, raising part of his unibrow.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Happy Halloween, even if that's far far away or long past!)**

Noah - "She woke everyone in the Screaming Gophers cabin with that screaming too."

* * *

It had been two days since the fake prom challenge. Katie and Noah had returned from their romantic cruise, but since they had come back late at night, no one had the chance to ask them any prying questions.

The questions were all directed to Bridgette, who was looking at her (barely edible) breakfast. After the emotional shock of the nightmare, she hadn't the stomach to try and swallow her breakfast.

"I've actually had nightmares like that before," she confessed to her friends. "They just were never that vivid... or real. I could feel that cleaver on my skin."

"Gosh," Harold said, blinking a great many times.

Some of the campers sitting with Bridgette looked over at the other table, where Eva, among others, were sitting. The fitness buff, shoveling her food into her mouth, glared at those who dared to look at her.

"What?!" she shouted before returning to her food.

Bridgette sighed, then shrugged as if it was cast away, but her eyes still carried the shock and fright. "So, um... Noah, Katie," she managed to bring herself to say, "how was the cruise?"

Noah stopped drinking in mid-gulp. "Oh, well," he said, clearing his throat, "a gentleman never kisses and tells."

"He couldn't keep his hands off me," Katie declared with a big grin.

Now this perked up Bridgette. "Oh? Our Noah, a tiger?"

"Katie...," Noah started, but was cut off by the tan-skinned girl.

"He was kissing my neck and telling me how pretty I was, and he kept snuggling up to me," she squealed as the others leaned in, "and he was nervous too! He said it was the first time he was ever with a girl like this!"

The slight vibration was Noah's head hitting the table. Katie giggled and then swooned. "He made me feel so special... it was so romantic, it's what the movies are made of! Noah's so wonderful, he's the best boyfriend ever!"

Gwen looked over at said boyfriend, who still had his face planted on the table. The goth girl had a wicked grin as she said, "Well well well. Our cynical Noah has a romantic side after all!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We like cheesecake, we do.)**

Noah - "Okay, before Katie tells everyone, yes, it was quite the romantic trip. We did actually talk about this new relationship, and there were serious moments throughout it."

Katie - "... And he held me to him, and told me I was so beautiful in the moonlight..."

Noah - "I agreed to be less cynical and more patient, and she agreed not to squeal as much when I'm around."

Katie - "... And his fingers down my spine, it sent shivers up it! Oh wow... I'm so in love!" \She squeals, then covers her mouth.\ "Better start practicing on not squealing."

* * *

Chris was listening to Katie talk about Noah. The host's jaw had dropped, and his eyes were bugging out.

"You're kidding," he replied. "No way! Noah? I don't believe it... no! Oh... wait!"

He cleared his throat, interrupting Katie's stories. "It's about time we get this challenge started! Is everyone done eating? You might want to eat a lot, because this challenge will continue on into tomorrow!"

Ezekiel looked at Bridgette. The blond surfer hadn't touched her food. "I doo'nt think we're all ready, eh!"

"Well, too bad," Chris exclaimed. "Bridgette will just have to make due with the minimum food supplies you're getting for this trip."

"Oh dear, where are we going?" Tyler asked, looking worried already. "Not Boney Island, I hope?"

"Nope! Today's challenge is going to be a hike from one end of Wawanakwa Island, here, all the way to the other end!

"However, you're not going alone! Not only will you be enjoying this with one or two fellow campers, but you will have an animal buddy!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - How about bringing an outhouse?)**

Trent - "I can only imagine what type of animals Chris considers 'buddies.' Probably something like a hyena...

Eva - "... or a rhino..."

Gwen - "... or a scorpion..."

Harold - "... or a liger..."

Izzy - "Oh boy! I hope I get a hyena, or a rhino, or a scorpion... or a _tiger_!"

* * *

Chris, Owen, and the fifteen campers were standing outside the cabins now. A large tarp was covering some boxes, and the contestants stared at them intrepidly.

"Campers, six of you are going to be assigned as leader to one of these loving animals," Chris announced; he turned to Owen and nodded. The large teen whipped the tarp off the crates, revealing the six animals in their cages.

"We have, for this challenge we call _Paths Through Pines_, we have these charming animal buddies: a rat, a duck, a goat, a pig, a zebra, and... a crocodile!"

Some of the campers screamed when they saw the long reptile in its cage. The creature was staring forward, as if hypnotized or stupid.

"You expect us to haul an alligator across the island?" Heather shouted, indignant as always.

"It's a crocodile," Chris corrected her. "Now c'mon, he's fairly tame for a crocodile."

"He's stupid," Owen said, kicking the side of its cage. This was a side of Owen the campers had never seen before, and Izzy was startled most of all.

"Owen, you being mean?" the crazy redhead exclaimed. "I cannot believe it!"

"No, I mean that literally, he's stupid," the oversized teen said. "I stepped on his tail accidentally, and it took five seconds before he grunted in pain."

"Regardless," Katie said, stating at the crocodile, "I really don't want to lead him around."

"Well, that's not up to you," the handsome host exclaimed, popping up next to the campers. "It's up to... Random Loser Generator!"

Owen pushed the large display with the large spinner on the face on it. Chris pushed some of the buttons on the back, and pictures of the six animals appeared in six sections.

"The first animal to be chosen will be...," Chris said as the spinner went around and around, then finally stopped on the most unwanted of all the creatures, "our crocodile! And the camper..."

He pushed a few more buttons, and the headshots of the fifteen campers appeared in fifteen sections. The arrow twirled, and around it goes; where it stopped was on Harold's nose.

Courtney couldn't hold back her happy grin.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Crocodiles are not flushed down here.)**

Courtney - "YES! Thank you so much, gods of luck! Have that crocodile eat him, or at least tear an arm off!"

Harold - "This actually isn't so bad. My dad took me to a crocodile farm when I was younger, so I know a few things about crocodiles."

* * *

"First thing you want to do," Harold was telling Owen, "is to make sure you are not at his side, because he can lash out."

The brunette nerd tipped the large reptile out of his cage, and managed to lasso him. Owen came dangerously close to the crocodile's side, and he leapt away. About seven seconds after the large teen had leapt away, the reptile snapped at where he had been.

"You are right, he is stupid," Harold remarked.

The animal-camper selection continued. Cody wound up with the duck.

"How am I going to keep him from flying away?" the tech-geek asked as he looked at the cage containing the quacker.

"He doesn't fly, Cody, you don't have to worry about this duck soup ingredient," Chris informed him.

Cody studied the bird as he left him out. The duck stared back, quacked, and waddled around in a circle. "Might not want to insult this duck," he said, "or he'll join a club and beat you over the head with it."

Some of the campers chuckled, while most stared. "Groucho Marx," the tech-geek explained.

"You're quoting a communist?" Duncan asked.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No communist spies in here.)**

Cody - \slaps his forehead\

Noah - "Typical."

Izzy - "Whoa! Duncan might be a communist sympathizer as well as the jellybean smuggler!"

* * *

The selection process continued. Bridgette was picked for the zebra.

"Now be careful, Bridgette," Chris warned her as she let it out of the cage. "Zebras aren't like horses, they can be really mean."

"It's okay, I'm good with animals," the surfer replied. Immediately after she said it, the striped animal snapped at her with its teeth. Eva cackled as Bridgette jumped away.

Ezekiel was given the rat. As the prairie boy opened the cage, the small, gray critter darted at him. Going up his sleeve, the rat squirmed around under his clothing. Gasping, squirming, and giggling as the rat tickled him, Ezekiel almost fell over.

"You going to be alright there, Zeke?" Chris asked as he watched.

The thrashing stopped, and the rat peeked out underneath Ezekiel's toque. "We'll get along fine, eh," he replied.

The goat went to Tyler. The jock had to keep the friendly critter from chewing on his sports jersey. "Chris man, is there anything I give this goat to chew on?"

"They don't make goat chew toys, Tyler dude."

The last one was the pig. Beth was crossing her fingers as the arrow spun around; however, her luck was not with her then, as the cursor landed on Duncan's face.

"Great, a tub of lard as my animal," Duncan grumbled as he let the pig out of its cage.

"You be nice to that pig, you hear me, Duncan?" Beth shouted at him.

"Yes, after all," Heather said, smirking at the farm girl, "that might be Beth's sister." Beth and Gwen glared at the queen bee before Chris clapped his hands to catch everyone's attention.

"Now people," the host said after all attention was on him (just how he liked it), "the first three teams to make it to the camp at the other side of the island are safe; the last three teams will be voting off someone!

"Oh, and not only do the members of the first place team get to vote too, but they get to have a dinner prepared specially for them!"

Duncan's face lit up with a wicked grin. "If I win, do I get to make my pet here my dinner?"

No one knew what Chris said, because Beth's scream of terror drowned out all other sounds.

"Okay then, campers," the handsome host said as he rubbed his ears. "We need to name the animals, so captains! What would you like to name your animals?"

"I'll call him Charger," Bridgette said, staying a good distance from the zebra.

"Stupid seems to be most fitting," Harold remarked, staring at the crocodile (who was still staring stupidly).

"I think I'll call this little guy Survivor," Ezekiel said as he stroked the rat's back.

"Dinner," Duncan said, grinning at the oblivious pig; Beth screamed again, and had to be consoled by Katie and Trent.

"I'll call this duck soup Groucho," Cody said, holding the duck to him. "He'd thrash you an inch of your life, but he doesn't have a tape measurer."

"Quarterback sounds good to me," Tyler said, pushing on the goat; the critter was once again trying to eat the jock's clothes.

"So we have Charger the Zebra, Stupid the Crocodile, Survivor the Rat, Groucho the Duck, Dinner the Pig, and Quarterback the Goat," Chris said, grinning at the six teams.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - That is our name.)**

Heather - "What crappy names."

Izzy - "What wild names!"

Beth - \crying\ "No no no! Don't let that mean criminal eat that sthweet pig! Noooo!"

* * *

"Now your teammates are going to be chosen by me," Chris announced; no one missed the sadistic grin that was on his face.

"And I think that, in the circle of life, the animals must learn to get along and thrive in the wild together! So, I am going to be pairing you up with the animal campers you cannot stand the most!"

The host looked over at Bridgette, who already looked nervous with the zebra being temperamental. "Bridge, I think it's time to face your fears. Your partner will be Eva."

The surfer chick let out a high-pitched whimper, her pale green eyes wider than they'd ever been before. Eva, looking unamused, looked angered at Bridgette's fear

"If I'm going to be stuck with you, blondie," the fitness buff shouted, pointing at Bridgette furiously, "then you'd better keep your ass in gear!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - In parenthesis, as always.)**

Ezekiel - "I'm really ticked off at Chris for doing this, eh. He's sending Bridgette 'oot in the forest, with not only an unfriendly animal, but with someone who hates her. Does he want her to die or something?"

Bridgette - \her hands clasped together in prayer\ "Lord, if you get me through this alive and in one piece, I'll make it up to you. I'll donate part of my winnings to charity, I swear!"

* * *

Chris chuckled as Eva stormed over to the zebra and Bridgette. "Well, this'll be fun for the viewers at home," he remarked.

"Maybe they'll find some mud and wrestle in it," Duncan said. He patted his pig, and said, "You're usually the one who rolls in the mud, but sadly, you'll be rolling in BBQ sauce!"

"No, you don't," Beth shrieked. She stormed over to the criminal, and knocked him over with a single push. "I'm gonna be on your team, and if we win firsth place, I'm gonna make you eat tofu!"

"Listen, shortie," Duncan snarled as she pulled himself up, "it's not up to you, it's up to Chris-"

"And I'm sensing a lot of hate here," Chris said, rubbing his chin. "You're with Duncan."

The criminal looked stunned for a second, then glared at Beth. "You'd better not throw this contest, pig girl."

"I wouldn't sthtoop that low, jail bird."

Chris, after he was done laughing at how devious this was, turned to Harold. "Ah, mister Harold. I cannot think of anyone better to join you on this bonding experience than... Courtney!"

The CIT's grin of joy vanished in less than a second, replaced by a contorted look of fury, astonishment, and a lot of other really negative emotions.

"No no no no," Courtney began to chant.

"Yes yes yes yes," Chris chanted back. "You're going to be with Harold, and that's final! So spend some time with the guy who rigged the voting last season to get you kicked off right after you started getting serious with your boyfriend."

Courtney's fury was renewed, and when she walked over to Harold, she spat on his shoes. Seven seconds after the spit hit the nerd's feet, Stupid the crocodile let out a couple grunts that sounded like crocodile laughter.

"Shut up, Stupid," Harold replied.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Seriously, there are always parenthesis here!)**

Harold - "This might actually be my chance to apologize to Courtney. I really don't want her to be angry at me for all eternity."

Courtney - \**We'd like to broadcast what Courtney said here about Harold, but frankly, this is a half-hour show. We don't have that kind of time.**\

* * *

"Speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends," Chris continued, "Katie, why don't you be with Cody, since he's the most desperate guy here!"

The BFFF gasped, then looked over at Noah sadly. The egghead patted her shoulder and kissed her cheek. "I'll be thinking about you every minute of this trip."

"Every minute? Wow, you won't be able to concentrate, silly," she managed to giggle.

"I just hope Cody remembers we're dating," Noah said as he frowned, "and that he doesn't get fresh with you. Hey, Cody!"

Noah's call out to Cody was unnoticed by the tech-geek, who was "talking" to Groucho the duck by quacking.

"Continuing on with the girlfriend and boyfriend idea," Chris said, "we are going to have an old couple reunited! Heather, you're with Ezekiel."

The queen bee rolled her eyes and sighed, but said nothing else. As she headed over to Ezekiel, Survivor the rat squeaked in terror at Heather's angry look, and ducked back under the prairie boy's toque.

"Keep that filthy creature away from me," she ordered Ezekiel.

"Sure thing, eh."

"And why'd you name it Survivor anyway?"

"Rats are the kings of survival, eh. Kind of like us here on Wawanakwa Island, we're survivors."

"Don't be a dumbass," Heather spat. "We're on Total Drama Island, what has that got to do with 'Survivor'?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Get these parenthesis away from us!)**

Heather - "I guess I shouldn't be so upset. Ezekiel's a lonely prairie boy, that vermin and him will get along just fine. So I won't have to deal with those two rats."

Ezekiel - "Ahhh, Heather, still as mean and biting as ever. I really wonder why Chris keeps putting me with her, eh."

Chris Maclean - "I got a bet with Chef Hatchet again. I placed fifty bucks that Ezekiel makes a move on him first, and he says Heather will try to seduce him first. Owen bets neither will hit on the other, but that's bad TV."

* * *

"Noah, why don't you be with Tyler?" Chris said to the egghead. "I know how much you brainiacs and jocks get along."

The egghead opened his mouth to make a smart remark, but saw Katie nearby. Biting his tongue, he silently walked over to Tyler.

"Whoa dude, thought you were gonna let loose one of your insults there," Tyler said, a big grin on his face.

"I was, but I promised Katie I'd try to lay low on the insults. Please desist, Quarterback, I like my sweater vest."

Chris looked over at the last three campers who still weren't on a team: Gwen, Trent, and Izzy. "Alright, you three, you're going to be the third member for three different teams. Anyone you truly hate to be with?"

"Think we're dumb enough to answer that?" Gwen snapped at him.

"Can't you just give us an animal so the three of us could be a team?" Trent asked the host. Izzy, standing next to him, nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I like that," the crazy redhead agreed. "And when they make out," she declared, pointing at Gwen and Trent, "I could, like, play a harp or something!" The couple stared at her, Gwen looking the most disturbed; Izzy giggled at their stares, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

"We actually had a seventh animal," Chris admitted, "It was one of those carnivore beavers from Boney Island, but... uh... one of the other animals killed it."

"The crocodile, obviously," Gwen said.

Chris didn't answer. The goth girl caught him giving a very brief glance at the duck; she didn't really know what to read of that.

"So, let's see who you remaining three will be with," the host said. He surveyed the six teams, tapped his chin in thought for a few seconds, then smiled.

"Gwen, you be with Courtney and Harold; they might need extra help with Stupid there. Trent, you be with Beth and Duncan; make sure Beth doesn't throw this challenge. And Izzy, you can be with Noah and Tyler."

"But that goat might mistake my skirt for grass and eat it off," Izzy protested.

"It's a risk you'll have to take."

"No no, Chris," she got up in his face, a sinister look on her face, "it is a risk _you'll_ have to take in making me take that risk." Unnerved, Chris watched Izzy head over to the goat and the two guys desperately trying to stop it from nibbling their clothes.

Owen and Chris then passed out maps, backpacks with supplies, and animal chow to all the campers. "You will all head to the base camp that is at the other side of the island. Your animal must be unharmed when it arrives; once your animal is safe and back in its cage at the base camp, your team has won. Any questions?"

"What if one of your teammates doesn't make it back unharmed?" Gwen asked, looking first at Stupid the crocodile, then to Courtney who was glaring at Harold; the goth girl was wondering who would be more dangerous to his health.

"Meh," Chris said with an evil grin, "the animal rights activists don't care about humans, so won't be hearing any protests if one of you gets hurt?"

"What about our parents?" Cody asked, looking nervous now.

"What about our lawyers?" Noah added not-so-subtlety.

"Too many questions now," Chris shouted, waving his arms in the air. "Campers... GO!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We need our personal space!)**

Izzy - "Izzy likes goats, Izzy just doesn't want them stripping her down on nationwide TV!"

Katie - "I miss Noah already. It's no fun when you miss your BFFF _and_ your boyfriend, and the only companions you have are a lonely ladies' man and a duck."

Beth - "By all that ith good and holy, I will not let Duncan kill the pig! I sthwear by Big Bertha, and pigsth all over the world, I will sthave Dinner!"

Eva - "Stuck with that stupid surfer chick is going to be a little rough. If she gets on my nerves, I could kill her, hide the body, and say a bear did it."

\The muscular girl laughs, then freezes in horror.\ "Oh crap, I forgot this was recorded! Not again! ... I am so screwed if anything does happen to her."

* * *

Eva looked between the zebra and Bridgette. "Well, what are we waiting for?" the muscular girl snapped. "Let's go!"

"I...," stammered Bridgette, looking at Charger the zebra, "I don't think he wants to go." With a frustrated sigh, Eva walked over to the striped quadruped. It started to flare up at her approach, but the fitness buff grabbed it's long head and pulled its eyes to hers.

"Look you striped horse," she snarled, "we have a long way to go, and I'm not going to dragging your butt the whole way! Unless you want to make me mad at you?" Charger shook his head fervently.

"Good, then let's go!"

Eva started walking, Charger following her obediently. Bridgette, wincing as she whispered another silent prayer, followed after them.

Heather and Ezekiel were on their way. The prairie boy had Survivor the rat in his hands. "You must like having rats nestling in you," she remarked.

Ezekiel ignored her.

"You must be used to this, having rats all over you. Is this what your farm on the prairie is like?"

He still ignored her.

"Are you going to ignore me this whole trip?" she shouted. "The trek through these woods will take over a day."

"So long as you're rude, I ignore you, eh."

There was a loud cackle from a certain ex-jail bird. "Don't make out, we'll beat you to the finish line for sure," Duncan shouted to the two as he passed by them. He had his pig Dinner on a leash, Beth riding on it happily. Trent held up the end of the three-man group, shrugging indifferently.

Heather seethed at the criminal, then glared at Ezekiel. "You didn't go telling Duncan about what happened during the snow day, did you?"

"He's been on that tease before that, eh," the prairie boy replied. "Relax, will you?"

"It's hard to relax when you're going into the forest with a filthy, dirty, disease-ridden rodent. And that rat too."

Ezekiel went back to ignoring her. Tyler had heard Heather's words as his team walked by, and he looked sympathetically at the prairie boy.

"I keep getting this terrible feeling," he said to his teammates, "that something bad is going to happen to Ezekiel. Is that weird?"

"He's with Heather, of course not," Noah replied as he shooed Quarterback the goat away from his pant leg. "If he fell off a cliff or was attacked by wolves, Heather wouldn't help him in fear of ruining her make-up."

"Gee, thanks for giving me peace of mind," the jock muttered as he shooed the goat away from him.

"I'm not risking this goat chewing my skirt off," Izzy shouted. She lifted up the goat, who delighted in free rides, and it bleated in joy.

"CHARGE FORTH," Izzy screamed as she bolted forward.

"Baaaaaaaaaaah," Quarterback agreed.

Noah and Tyler ran after her, following the screams and bleats. Katie watched her boyfriend run off, and let out a long sigh.

"I'm so worried about him," she admitted to Cody. "Izzy is crazy enough to let him fall into a ditch or get attacked by a bear, and she would leave him."

"Oh, I wouldn't think that bad about Izzy," the tech-geek said, holding Groucho the duck in his arms. "She'd stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery, but she wouldn't make someone else do it."

"That's true, I guess," Katie replied, smiling a little. "She is my friend, but she is really wild and attractive. I'm just nervous, is all."

" 'Attractive'?"

"Well," Katie started, poking her fingers together, "I dunno. I'm just nervous over all."

"You don't have anything to worry about," Cody replied, smiling at the thin BFFF. "Noah is not interested in Izzy. She's a little too crazy for his tastes, and she is into Owen."

"I guess you're right," the tan-skinned girl replied, smiling fully now.

Harold was yanking on the rope he had around Stupid the crocodile. Ever since he had started pulling the reptile about ten seconds ago, Stupid had finally put up a fight.

"Will you get him moving?" Courtney shouted. "We're going to lose if you let all of them get ahead."

"I'm trying, _gosh_," the brunette nerd shouted, tugging at the crocodile. "This _idiot_ isn't cooperating!"

Gwen came up from behind the crocodile and gave it a kick in the tail. A few seconds later, the reptile let out a low grunt and continued on.

"How does something so dumb survive?" Harold grumbled, pulling on the rope.

"I ask the same thing about you," Courtney snapped as she walked by, her nose upturned. Gwen saw the upset look on Harold's face, more sad than angry.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Eeek, there they are again!)**

Gwen - "Courtney holding onto a grudge this long is, to be honest, pathetic. I can practically feel Harold wanting to make amends with her, and she seethes furious retribution. In a nutshell, she's acting like a scorned princess."

Harold - "_Gosh_. This is really gonna be harder than I thought."

* * *

Once all six groups were in the forest, Chris and Owen exchanged a high-five. Chef crossed his arms and grinned.

"I think I'm really gonna win this time," Owen declared, rubbing his hands together. "They've already started ignoring each other!"

"Fat chance, fat boy," Chef Hatchet replied. "Heather's going to try and wrap Ezekiel around her finger. But there's no way he's that gullible."

"I dunno, alone in the forest with an attractive girl hitting on you would be a dream come true for most," the host exclaimed. He then turned to the camera and grinned. "Now, our wonderful viewers, we leave you with these exciting questions:

"**Who is going to win this contest? Which three teams are going to lose? And who will end up killing their partners, intentionally or accidentally?**

"All these questions will be answered in...

**Part 2, the hurdles of pine through quarrels and fights!**

* * *

--

--

--

Here's a question for you, my loyal readers. _Can you guess where the choice of these six animals comes from?_ It was a real 'comic' choice, hehe.

Here are the teams for _Paths Through Pines_:

**Pig** (Dinner) - Duncan, Beth, Trent

**Rat** (Survivor) - Ezekiel, Heather

**Zebra** (Charger) - Bridgette, Eva

**Goat** (Quarterback) - Tyler, Noah, Izzy

**Crocodile** (Stupid) - Harold, Courtney, Gwen

**Duck** (Groucho) - Cody, Katie


	25. Day 8, Part 2: Animal Instinct 101

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. There is total and drama and an island here, but those are universal.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**alienphantom** - Zeke score with Heather? My my, is that a sign you like him or hate him? Hehe, kidding.

**ReaperXIII** - Cody may find love one day. We may find out, we may not. Our poor underdog is still loved, no matter if he gets the girl or not.

**Flame Rising** - Ooo! Someone just registered modernistic words from their thesaurus, and expends bouts exasperating random plebeians upon this website, via the procedure of simulacrum and fustigate. Buahaha.

**melancolie** - No, no clues, buahaha! But thank you for the support, and welcome aboard! \tips my necromancer helm\

**TDIrocks34** - Yeah, 'nice' and 'Heather' are like milk and grape juice, eh? Oh, and yeah, that guy's not worth the muscle effort to click my mouse on the abuse button. Buahaha.

**QJD1381** - No one knows quite what Izzy means when she talks. That's what makes Izzy Izzy. Hehe.

**logicaltiger** - Ooo, I look forward to it! I love seeing new stories here, keep the TDI fanfiction a'coming!

**To Everybody** - **Author's Notes**:

1. Yes, the six animals are based off the popular characters of comic strip _Pearls Before Swine_. The dumb pig, the evil rat, the hunted zebra, the frustrated goat, the militant duck, and the zeeba zeeba eata crocodiles. Gods, I love that strip.

2. If you all think I'm being unfair to Courtney, there will be something at the end of this challenge / day that'll show she's not let completely by one-sided hatred.

3. About Bridgette's nightmare, I have to say this. It is inspired by drago-flame's drawing of Bridgette trapped by a cleaver-wielding Eva on Deviant Art. And when I got the idea to write out something like this for the story, I actually had a nightmare exactly like Bridgette's, with a cleaver-wielding killer entering my room and swinging his weapon down on my neck before I woke up.

The moral of the story is: don't write about nightmares unless you want to risk having them. \swallows nervously\

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 25 (Day 08, Part 2)** - Nothing Like the Discovery Channel

--

The forest was calm, quiet calm. The squirrels has gathered up nuts, the birds had gathered up worms, and the bear had gathered up the majority of the marshmallows.

Heather, however, had lost most of her patience.

"I don't care how much you like that rat," she snapped at Ezekiel, "stop baby-talking it!"

"It okee, Survivee, she's just a widdle mad because she forgot her widdle make-up and slop kit," the prairie boy said.

Almost tearing the map in frustration, the ravenhair tried to focus on the path ahead of him. "I swear, why'd I get stuck with the rodents of Wawanakwa?"

"You complain too much, Heather," Ezekiel said, addressing her for the first time during the trip. "You doo'nt even have to hold the rat, eh."

She whipped her head around to glare at him. For a moment, Ezekiel could understand why Duncan liked to see Courtney so mad. Heather's upper lip was trembling, her small hands were balls into fists, and her eyes were narrowed in an intense stare. Though cute, he knew that there was great rage stored up for him.

"You wear too much make-up, eh."

"Oh, shut up," she spat out, looking forward again.

"You'd be a lot moo'r pretty if you didn't wear so much paint. Why do you girls think it's necessary, eh?"

She let out a frustrated shout. "You know, this is exactly _why_ you were the first one voted off on Total Drama Island! And it's also why you'll never have a chance with Bridgette! Or any other girl, ever!"

Survivor the rat squeaked nervously. "Doo'nt woo'ry, Survivee, mummy and daddy are just having a widdle fight, eh."

Heather's furious face was right in his. Survivor squeaked in terror and zipped up the prairie boy's sleeve. "I never," she shouted pointblank in his face, "want to you hear make a comparison like that again! Do you hear me?"

"Why are you so angry, eh?" he managed to say back. "I cannot understand you."

"Just shut up, and-"

The bushes behind her rustled, and she let out a frightened shout. Grabbing Ezekiel, she knocked the air out of him as she pulled herself close to him in terror of whatever was coming out of the bushes.

It was a raccoon, who looked up at the two. With a approving click and a thumbs-up to Ezekiel, he ran off.

Heather, after a couple seconds, realized there was no life-threatening danger. Then Survivor the rat peaked out from under Ezekiel's toque, she screamed again and leapt away from him.

"You okay, Hea-"

"Just shut up," she shrieked, her face red with fury, "and get a move on!" She stormed ahead, swatting any branches or shrubs that dared to be in her way. Ezekiel, perplexed, shrugged and followed.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - In the not-too-distant future.)**

Ezekiel - "I'll never understand girls. Then a'geen, I'm sure many men before me have said that. I really doo'nt knoo' if trying to be nice to Heather is worth it, she's so mean and she did steal my Zed."

Heather - "He just wants a piece of my ass, I know it. Well, he's not getting any, he'll never get any! Never! Never never never never!"

Raccoon - /with English subtitles/ "hehehe way to go, toque boy"

* * *

"_I-iiiiii'v__e been walkin' with mah pet goat_," Izzy sang at the top of her lungs, "_all dah live long da-aaaaaaaay!_"

"Izzy," Noah grumbled.

"_I-iiiii__i've been walkin' out mah bleatin' friend, becuz' that's the challenge to-daaaaaay!_"

"Izzy," Tyler shouted, his hands on his ears; the leash he had Quarterback the goat was clutched in one of his fists.

"_Ca-aaaaaaaan't you hear mah teammates whining, 'cause they go no mu__sic ta-aaaaaay'ste__!_"

"I swear to all that's good and holy, Izzy," Noah cried out, unable to read the book he had brought now, "if you keep singing-"

"_Ca-aaaaaaaan't you hear me singing still, 'cuz we got time to wa-aaaaaay'ste__!_"

"That does it," Tyler declared, "Quarterback, eat her skirt!" It was no good, because the goat was bleating in tune to Izzy's song. Noah and Tyler exchanged helpless looks.

"Oh, just let her sing then, I guess," Tyler said, shrugging his shoulders. "It cannot kill us."

"And it'll keep the bears away, that's for sure," Noah remarked. With a long sigh, he tried to mentally block out Izzy's singing. "Man, if she were a bard, she'd be slaughtering legions of demons by now."

"You and your computer games, I'll never understand them," Tyler said. "I mean, I just don't get how you could play a game that you're not getting physically active."

"Well, not all of us are jocks," Noah said. "Some of us don't like to be throwing ourselves against three hundred pound linebackers."

"Not all sports are as aggressive as football, dude."

"It's still mostly because my mind is my primary strength."

"I guess that explains the gals we're dating."

Noah looked quite perplexed, so Tyler tried to explain it better. "You see, you're dating Katie, and she's smart, creative, loyal, and she has this long string of thought process. I'd know, I was her teammate, and that girl had a ton of ideas and thoughts.

"While you and Katie are more into ideas and such, Lindsay and I are more physical. And when I say that, I mean we both are into being together, through thick and thin. You know what I mean?"

Noah was looking more confused, and a bit scared. "Um, dude," Tyler remarked, noticing his facial expression, "I mean, like, how we may both not be as bright as you or Katie, but we still have a lot in common. I'm concerned about my looks and body, since I'm an athlete, and she tries to look good. You know, she-"

"Tyler, as much as I'd love to hear more about your love life," Noah interrupted, "I have a very important question."

"You want tips on being a better boyfriend, since you're new to this?" Tyler asked with a friendly grin.

"I can give you one," Izzy shouted, popping up behind Noah with her hands on his shoulders. "You gotta be sure to take a hint, like if she's frowning at you, or her shoulders are almost up to her ears, she's mad."

"No! Not that," Noah cried out in frustration, though he made a mental note of it. "Tyler... where's our goat?"

The jock look down the leash he was holding, only to see it had been chewed off short. With one collective turn of heads, the three campers looked behind Tyler to see Quarterback galloping away, happily chasing a dragonfly. Screaming in unison, the three dashed off to retrieve their bleating friend.

"Come here, Quarterback," Tyler called to him. "Come on, buddy!"

"Operation Goat Retrieval is at a rocky start," Izzy shouted, with fake radio-garble, into her hand. "I blame the new recruits."

"Get back here, you stupid goat," Noah hollered.

* * *

"Why he'd horsewhip you if he had a horse!"

Katie giggled as Cody made yet another Groucho Marx joke. What made Katie laugh moreso was how Groucho the duck quacked after every joke. The tech-geek looked quite proud of himself.

"So, I gotta ask, in all seriousness," Cody said, still grinning slyly, "how are things with you and Noah?"

"Pretty good, in fact," the BFFF replied, giggling. She stroked the duck's feathers, and it quacked in approval. "Noah's got a lot of rough edges to trim, to be honest."

"Yeah, you know," Cody said, smiling sheepishly, "I was thinking that you would need the carve that cynical edge off him."

"He is prone to a few mean comments," she said, "but I don't think he means it half the time. There's just some bitter issues he has to work out."

"I'm sure you can do it. After all, my mom tells me how she had to sand down dad's personality."

Katie giggled more. She looked at the duck, then the map, then the path ahead. "Um, Cody?"

"What?"

"No nothing, never mind."

"I'll be thinking about what you would've said throughout the entire trip!"

"Maybe later." 

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Somewhere in time and space.)**

Katie - "I didn't have the heart to ask him at first. I really wanted to ask more about Cody himself without sounding forward. He is the one of the biggest celebrity on the island, as far as the internet goes."

Cody - "I don't understand girls, despite how much I love 'em. Then again, I wouldn't like girls so much if they were one-dimensional."

Groucho the Duck - \in English subtitles\ "I'd join them, but they weren't coming apart."

* * *

Bridgette and Eva had been quiet for several hours. Charger the zebra was clopping alongside Eva obediently, and both zebra and fitness buff ignored the surfer girl. Bridgette would not have minded this so much under normal circumstances; however, her fear of being alone in the forest was acting up over the fact that the people she was with were acting like she wasn't even there.

"Listen, Eva...," she started. She felt like stopping when the muscular girl didn't even look at her, but she wanted some conversation. "How... are... what... you..."

Eva looked over her shoulder at Bridgette, a confused eyebrow quirked. "If you get near a sentence, say it."

"How are you doing?" the surfer managed to spit out.

"Fine. Better before you decided to make small talk, though."

That struck a nerve in Bridgette. Those who resented people being nice was her second biggest pet peeve (senseless destruction of nature was her first). "Well, geez, I just wanted to talk," she replied.

"I don't have anything to say to you," Eva said, looking away from the surfer. "I don't care to talk to a traitor like you."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Bridgette cried out, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I never promised you anything, I never agreed to never vote you off, I didn't-"

"Just stop talking to me if you don't want those green eyes blackened, if you know what I mean, blondie."

That did it for Bridgette. She darted in front of Eva, and jabbed the fitness buff in the chest with her finger. "You listen to me, you fitness gorilla. I've had it with your rotten attitude and empty threats. Why don't you actually _try_ cooperating with people instead of bullying them? A sports enthusiast like you will never be part of a team if you keep acting like everyone else is too stupid and weak to keep up with you?

"So go ahead and take your best shot," Bridgette shouted, thumping her chest and then standing firm. "If you want to actually be the big, mean bully you make yourself out to be, just try and beat me up."

A few seconds ticked by. Charger watched, a horrified zebra-ey look on his face. Eva stood there, looking furious and clenching her fists. Bridgette held her place, glaring right back at Eva. After about a minute passed, a smirk spread across the muscular girl's face. The surfer chick took in a breath of air, prepared for a fight.

And Eva burst out laughing.

While Bridgette stared, astonished, Eva wiped away an amused tear and managed to say between laughs, "My mom said that one day, someone would stand up to me and challenge me to a fight. I never imagined it would be you.

"Takes a lot of guts to challenge me to a fight. And you know what? I like girls with guts."

Charger the zebra let out a relieved sigh. Looking between him and Eva, Bridgette was still unsure what was going on until the fitness buff patted her shoulder and motioned for them to carry on their path.

"You sounded like you wanted to say that for some time," Eva remarked as they walked. "You rehearse it or something?"

"Nah, it was spur of the moment, honest."

"Would you have actually fought me if I attacked you?"

"You wouldn't do that, this is all on nationwide TV."

"True, true. I think I'd only risk it for hitting Heather."

"I think we'd all risk it for slapping her one."

The two laughed, and the zebra whinnied, though he didn't know why, he just wanted to fit in.

* * *

"Come on, Stupid, move!"

"Can't you make that damn crocodile walk faster?"

The yelling that was Harold at Stupid, and Courtney at Harold as if he was stupid, was really getting on Gwen's nerves. The goth girl had been expecting this not to be a pleasant trip, but nowhere near as bad as "struggling every two minutes to get Stupid to start walking again while Courtney yelled at Harold" bad.

"Honestly," the CIT carried on, "why don't you let one of us have the leash, Harold? Your scrawny arms aren't going to cut it."

"I really don't want you two to get hurt by him."

Courtney expressed her doubt with a few words that had to be censored out, and made Gwen's eyes grow wide (and she was no stranger to bad words). The CIT shoved Harold to the ground, and began to yank the leash.

"No, don't yank it," Harold shouted as he picked himself up. "Crocodiles hate being yanked."

"What goddamn difference does it make?" Courtney replied as she yanked harder. "You weren't getting anywhere by just pulling hi-"

Stupid the crocodile hissed and snapped at the CIT's legs, and even though he was a couple feet, she screamed and leapt away. Gwen rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Nice job," the goth girl remarked as she looked at Stupid; the crocodile looked like he had completely forgotten about Courtney, because he was looking at a very pretty leaf. "Now, can we let Harold Dundee take the leash again?"

"He's riled up now," Harold said, poking his fingers together nervously. "It's usually best to let him vent for a couple minutes."

"Stupid's too stupid to know how to vent," Gwen hollered. Reason be damned, she had had enough of this. She marched over to Stupid's side, lifted the crocodile over her head, and started to walk.

"What are you _doing_, Gwen?" Courtney shouted. "What if he starts to thrash?"

"I got that covered. Hey Stupid," the goth girl said to the crocodile above her head, "you're flying, Stupid, you're flying."

The crocodile let out a happy hiss and spread his four legs. Courtney only gaped as Gwen headed off.

"You really gotta admire her," Harold, with a big smile, said to Courtney. "She really cuts to the chase."

Courtney's reply was to shove him to the ground again, harder this time, and then run to catch up to Gwen.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Caught in an endless chase.)**

Courtney - "I don't care what anyone says about how I treat Harold. If he or anyone else thinks I have carried my anger for too long, you have _no_ idea. You don't know what happened to me because of what he did. And I know he wouldn't care, mainly because he doesn't care now."

Harold - \long sigh\

* * *

Beth let out a happy giggle as she patted Dinner the pig's head. "You're a good little piggy, yeth you are! Beth loves you, sthe sthure doesth!"

"Duncan hates hearing you say that every time he grunts, yes he does," Duncan replied, glaring at Beth over his shoulder.

"You justht don't get pigs, Duncan," Beth replied, smirking smugly at him. "Though you're called one enough to be misthtaken for one."

"Ooo, drew some blood on that one, Ms. Rapier Wit," the punk replied. "Did Heather teach you how to insult?"

"Why you-"

"You guys," Trent cut in, holding up his hands, "will you _please_ stop arguing? This journey would be much more enjoyable if you were fighting the whole way?"

"Sorry, Elvis, but I didn't start it," Duncan remarked.

"Yeth, you did," Beth protested.

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did," Trent cut in again. "Just stop fighting, alright?"

Duncan grumbled while Beth fumed. The criminal yanked Dinner's leash, which the pig let out a protesting grunt at. The farm girl patted his head and rubbed behind his ears, to which Dinner snorted appreciatively.

"You're good with him," Trent said to Beth, trying to make small talk.

"I grew up with pigs," she said, sounding very proud. "I know everything about them."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - There's this evil gal who wants to rule the world.)**

Duncan - "Oh _man_, did I have to bite my tongue to prevent all of the perfect comebacks for that."

* * *

"I guess that'sth not much, though," Beth said, looking upset as she pondered over this. "I mean, you're popular and all, right Trent?"

"Um, yeah," he admitted. "Still, I don't think popularity is all that great."

"But when you're popular, people like you and sthuff," Beth said, looking more upset now. "You don't get a boyfriend or friends by being the 'pig girl'. You have to be talented like you, or pretty like Lindthay."

"Ah yes, D-cups for the win," Duncan replied, smirking.

Trent glared at the back of his mohawk head, then back down at Beth. "Trust me, Beth, being popular isn't the answer. After high school, it really isn't going to matter."

"But it'sth no fun when no one paysth attention to you," she said. "I mean, I signed up for TDI becauth I wanted to meet new people and make new friendsth. I blew it during the firtht stheasthon..."

Spitting out the excess saliva, she stopped in mid-sentence. "I hate these things," she said, looking more upset than ever now. "Happens every time I sthtart talking quickly. I'd give anything to be rid of them."

Trent was silent, wondering what to say. Duncan spoke first. "That what you'll use the prize money on?" he asked, cocking his unibrow. "An expensive dental procedure to get rid of them immediately."

"Well, you would too, if you had them," Beth snapped at the punk. "No one treatsth me stheriously when I'm sputtering like Sylvesthter the cat!"

"Beth," Trent spoke up at last, putting a hand on the farm girl's shoulder, "it isn't necessary to get everyone's approval. You cannot please all the people all the time, and there are some people you'll never please."

"Like Heather," Duncan remarked.

"Yeah, like her," Trent said in agreement. "I mean, the world is full of Heathers who aren't going to like you no matter what you do. You just have to find the people who'll accept you for who you are, the... um..."

"Anti-Heathers?" Duncan suggested.

"Well, the opposite of Heather, moreso," Trent replied. "You're actually the opposite of Heather, Beth. She's mean, you're nice. She doesn't give a damn about other peoples' feelings, you do. She doesn't try if she doesn't want to, you give it your all."

"You're also the opposite of condescending," Duncan piped in, "but I don't know what that would be."

"You think tho?" Beth asked, looking between the two boys.

"Heck yeah," Duncan said. "Wouldn't be saying it if I didn't think it."

"Same here," Trent said with a smile.

Beth smiled back. "Now I know why Gwen and Courtney like you two tho much. You can be tho nice!"

"Hey whoa, don't go saying that," Duncan protested loudly. "I'm honest, but I'm not nice."

"Whatever you thay, my mohawk friend," Beth said with a giggle.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - In her rocket ship, she hunts us.)**

Beth - "I go through thith a few times. I really do want to make friends with the other campers, and I'm afraid that by helping Heather the firthst time, I'm no good in their eyes. Lindthay is tho nice and beautiful that they can forgive her, but I altho cursthed my team.

"That'th why I like Trent tho much, he givesth people a sthecond chance. Don't tell Gwen, but I alwaysth did have a little crush on him!"

Trent - "Poor Beth doesn't have a lot of self-esteem, and I'm sure it's mainly because of the jerks at her school that are superficial and popularity-obsessed. A nice girl like Beth who's good to animals and kind to other people is worth more than most popular kids' worth."

* * *

**(Exposition Break.)**

The hours passed. The sun dropped, and the night sky made it impossible to see in the forest. Luckily for the campers, they had flashlights. The cameras managed to catch their last minutes awake, and compiled them for the viewers to see. After that, the cameras were turned off, because watching people sleep isn't good ratings.

* * *

Izzy, Noah, and Tyler collapsed underneath a tree, letting out exhausted sighs in unison. "That damn goat," Noah grumbled.

Tyler glanced over at Quarterback, who was tied to a nearby tree. Having exhausted himself, the happy goat was sleeping peacefully. Having chased him for several hours, the three campers had developed a deep loathing for all goats.

"I forgot how chasing an animal was so tiresome," Izzy complained as she leaned against Noah. "When I was little, I used to chase my cat around my house. That... was far less exhausting."

"At least you broke less stuff than when you chased your cat, right?" Noah remarked, managing a smile.

"Yes, actually," Izzy said, giggling. "Mom got really mad when I broke her favorite vase."

"I know how that is," Tyler said, leaning down against the tree as he rummaged through the backpack. "When I was little, I punted a football indoors. Broke a vase and the table it was on."

"My older brother tried to frame me when he broke a vase," Noah said. "But mom knew it wasn't me, since I didn't leave my room."

Tyler managed to pull a blanket out of the backpack, unfolding it right over Izzy and Noah. "You two can use that," the jock said, getting comfortable against the tree. "I'm fine like this."

"Mighty generous of you, mighty man," Izzy chuckled as she rested her head against Noah's shoulder. "You don't mind if Izzy rest against you, egghead?"

"Just don't call me that," the brainiac replied. He shrugged instinctively, almost knocking Izzy off him. After apologizing, Izzy got comfortable again.

"Katie lucky girl, you have comfy shoulder," the redhead purred.

"Oddly enough, she has said that..."

Tyler chuckled, and rested his forehead against his arms. He regretted having to sleep like this, but there truly was no way to sleep comfortably on rough ground.

* * *

Bridgette and Eva dug through their backpack, but they couldn't find anything used for sleeping. The fitness buff was furious, while the surfer chick was remaining steady.

"How could Chris send us out here without any proper sleeping gear?" Eva roared, kicking a nearby tree. A couple squirrels fell out, then scurried away from the predator known as Eva.

"I'm pretty sure I know what he was planning," Bridgette said, shuffling through the other items in the backpack. "Chris wanted us to try and steal the supplies from the other campers."

"That's rather stupid," Eva remarked, "I mean, we're already traveling through the forest, lugging around wild animals, why would he make us try to fight each other too?"

"Because he likes making more conflict," Bridgette said nonchalantly. "It's part of his sadistic nature."

"Well, I'm too tired to go hunting for the other campers to swipe their gear," Eva curled up against the tree. "Or am I?"

"Yes, it is. God knows what wanders Wawanakwa Island at night."

"Nothing I cannot handle," she said, but she let out a sigh of defeat. "Good night, Bridgette."

"Good night, Eva."

"Oh, what about Charger? He ever gonna lie down and sleep?" Eva asked, looking at the zebra.

"He is asleep," Bridgette said as she closed her eyes. "Zebras sleep standing up." The fitness buff raised her eyebrow at this. "Well, that sure is a strange habit. Animals are weird," she remarked before closing her eyes again.

* * *

Heather was incensed. "No blanket?! How could they do that to me?"

Her prairie boy partner, who was leaning against the tree as he stroked Survivor the rat's fur, looked up at her with lazy eyes. "Is that so bad, eh?"

"It's gonna get cold out here, you skeez," she yelled at him.

As if on cue, a cold wind blew through the trees, sending cold shivers through Ezekiel, Heather, and Survivor. The rat squeaked, and darted under Ezekiel's toque; he nestled into his hair, and was happy and warm up there.

"Okay, I really hate the outdoors, eh," Ezekiel muttered as he curled up, shivering.

"No blanket, stuck with you, I cannot stand this," Heather cried out, seething anger.

Ezekiel stared up at her, then shrugged. "We'll have to endure it, I guess."

"I don't want to endure it," she shouted, hugging herself as she shivered. "I should have a sleeping bag or a blanket, why didn't they provide us with one?!"

"Well, what are ya gonna do, Heather?" Ezekiel said with a calm shrug. "You cannot change the weather, you cannot get a blanket, so you just gotta endure it, eh."

She glared at him with the utmost fury. Though she knew he was right, she would be damned to admit it. So, she switched the focus to something else she could be mad about.

"You probably want me to cuddle up to you, don't you?"

Ezekiel looked up at her very briefly, then tried to get comfortable against the tree.

"Let me tell you something, Zeke," she continued, much to his annoyance. "There is no way, no chance, not happening _ever_, that you are getting into my pants."

The prairie boy was astonished, and he didn't bother try hiding that. "Why would I try to wear your clothes, eh?!"

"No, not like that," she shouted, gripping her head in her frustration. "Just forget it, okay?"

She slumped down against the same tree he was leaning against, glaring at him all the time. "You touch me, and I'll sue you for every cent your prairie family has. Got it?"

"Ayup," he said, smiling before leaning up against the tree. Within a few minutes, he was asleep.

" 'Try to wear your clothes', what a moron," she grumbled as she tried to lean against the tree too.

Another gust of icy wind blew through the trees, and it made lock up from the sheer cold. In a heartbeat, she was cuddling up to Ezekiel, shivering hard and desperately trying to get some of his body heat. She didn't wake the young man, but she was sure she heard someone give an approving whistle; Heather simply didn't believe it came from Ezekiel's toque.

* * *

Beth, Trent, and Duncan were all resting on Dinner the pig, who had enough body weight not to notice the three heads resting against him.

"Night, Beth. Night, Duncan," Trent said.

"Night, Duncan. Night, Trent," Beth said.

"Night, Trent. Night, Beth," Duncan said.

"Snort, snortle, grunt," Dinner said.

The criminal couldn't help but chuckle. "Some pig," he said. "Hey, Beth?"

"Yeth, Duncan?" "I was just kidding about making Dinner dinner. We'll get something else if we win."

With a happy squeal, Beth gave Duncan a clinging hug. Grunting from the strength of Beth's affection, the criminal was allowed to breathe after her happiness died down.

Trent patted Beth's shoulder, and said, "There you two go, getting along. I knew you could." 

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The worst we can find.)**

Trent - "I knew those two would get along. I mean, Duncan's a big softy underneath that rough 'n tough exterior, and Beth could make friends with everyone."

Duncan - "Trent should be a warden in a major jail. He could break up some major fights."

Beth - \She swoons.\ "Gwen is the luckiest girl on the planet. Maybe...," \she twirls one of her brown locks\ "I should dye my hair green... and wear green lipstick... maybe?"

* * *

Katie and Cody were cuddled up underneath a tree, Groucho the duck in his lap. The BFFF and the tech-geek were lucky to be one of the groups that had a blanket, and were fairly warm because of it.

"Cody?" she whispered, half-asleep.

"Hmmm yeah?"

She swallowed nervously, trying to summon her courage for what she really wanted to ask him. "It's that question that I was gonna ask earlier, but never had the courage to."

"Ooo, finally," Cody cried out happily. "Wha' izzit?"

"Ummm," she stammered, "I wanted to ask you why you like Gwen so much."

"Well, it's a whole combination of things," the tech-geek said, his eyes lighting up. "First off, she's really intelligent and creative. I love girls who are into things like writing and drawing.

"She's independent, but not afraid to ask for help. She's really pretty, in an all-original sense. Also, she's super tough and feisty."

"Oh," Katie looked down, looking ashamed of what she wanted to say next, "I guess what I really meant was... why do you like her so much after she rejected you?"

To her surprise, his smile didn't vanish. "It's that crazy emotion called love. My dad asked me the same question actually. I guess..."

He twirled his hand around, trying to find the right answer. "It's so hard to explain, really. It's a feeling of admiration and infatuation. Can you explain why you like Sadie so much?"

"Because she and I share the same hobbies and interests, she and I understand each other's feelings, and we've always been there for each other."

Cody blinked. "Wow... I suppose you can. But friendship is always easier to explain. Love is something our biggest psychologists are studying to this day, and no one truly knows the answer."

The thin BFFF smiled back at him. "It could be just a schoolboy crush. I mean, I've had my share of schoolgirl crushes."

"It might be just that," he admitted, "but I still really hope for a girl who's a lot like Gwen, with one major change."

"Blond?" Katie guessed, giggling.

"Naw. That she isn't in love with another guy," he twiddled his fingers against his knee. "Although... blond wouldn't be bad. Maybe blond strands, that'd be neat."

"You like girls with colored hair strands, I see," Katie said with a yawn, curling up against him. "You're a good guy, Cody. May you find a girl that's crazy about you."

"That'd be nice, yep."

"Maybe Sadie, hmmmm?"

"Possibly," he murmured, sleepy as well, "but first I'd have to top Justin."

"That'd be hard, but nothing's impossible."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We're monitoring their mind.)**

Cody - "Katie didn't ask me anything I haven't been asked before, only I could tell she really wanted to know. It's refreshing to have someone ask without that mean-spirited tone I get from kids at school."

Katie - "I could actually see Cody hanging out with Sadie, Noah, and me. We'd be like the group of friends at school. The BFFFs, the smart guy, and the cool guy. Maybe I could hook him up Sadie!" \She giggled, clapping her hands.\ "After all, what's a BFFF for if not getting her a cool boyfriend?"

Cody - \tapping his chin\ "I wonder if she's serious about Sadie and I. She could be cute, but dating her would be like dating Katie too. And Noah. Whoa, that's a lot."

* * *

Gwen and Courtney were sitting under a tree, the CIT yanking the blanket out of the backpack. "One blanket? That's it?" she grumbled.

"Stop complaining," Gwen grumbled right back. "It could be worse."

"Except that I have to share a blanket with _Harold_," she hissed, glaring at the goth girl. "Where is he, anyway?"

"He's tying Stupid to a tree nearby," Gwen said, nodding in the direction he was.

"I hope he loses an arm. Or a leg," Courtney replied, looking away. "Maybe if his hands get bitten off, he'll never play around with his Star Wars action figures again."

"You've been complaining about him since day one of this contest," Gwen growled, her eye beginning to twitch. "And you haven't managed to say two sentences without saying how much you want him to die or suffer. Could you drop it?"

"I'm just saying what the cheating dork should have happen to him."

Gwen's temper snapped. "No," she said, starting to shake with pent up frustration, "what should happen is for you to _SHUT UP__!!_"

The goth girl's furious shout punctured the silence of the woods, waking up little woodland creatures and shaking the leaves on the trees. And that was just the start of what was on Gwen's mind.

"I have _had_ it with your whining and complaining," the goth continued to shout. "Harold's trying to be nice to you, and you just won't give him a second chance! There are three little words that I wish would puncture your thick skull, drill through your inflated ego, and into that narrow-minded brain of yours:

"GET! OVER! IT!"

Gwen stood over Courtney, jabbing her finger at the CIT's forehead. The two girls glared at each other, seething rage.

"Ummm..."

Harold was standing nearby, tapping his fingers together nervously. "Stupid is tied up. Who gets the blanket?"

"You can have the \**censored**\ blanket," Courtney spat, chucking the blanket at the brunette nerd.

He continued to look between the two girls, who were sitting on opposite ends of the tree, arms crossed, heaving frustrated breaths, eyes narrowed. Right now, he was thinking of going to sleep with Stupid instead, it would be safer.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - They cannot control when the challenge begins or ends.)**

Gwen - "I've just had it with complainers. I know it's ironic, because I'm complaining about complaining, but Courtney frayed my last nerve. Listening to her bash Harold for hours on end is almost as bad as listening to Heather's bitching."

Courtney - "Nobody talks to me like that! NOBODY! She... is going... to pay!"

Harold - "Gwen and Courtney scare me. I really wish I knew how to keep calm when girls are really mad. I guess that's what all guys would like to know."

* * *

Owen, Chris, and Chef Hatchet were watching several TVs at their little base on the other side of the island. The cameras were focused on all six of the campers.

"Who do you think looks cuter, Owen?" Chris asked. The jolly giant looked over the six screens.

Harold, Courtney, and Gwen were on three different sides of the tree, either pissed or worried; Stupid the crocodile was staring at pretty leaf to pretty leaf. Bridgette and Eva were curled up together, with Charger asleep and standing up next to them. Tyler, Izzy, and Noah were fast asleep as Quarterback the goat chewed away the rope that the jock had tied him up with.

"Hmmm, those three groups are cute," Owen remarked, "but I think those three are cuter."

Cody and Katie were curled up under a blanket, snuggled warmly; the tech-geek was murmuring in his sleep. Beth, Duncan, and Trent were resting their heads on the lightly-snoring Dinner acted as their pillow. Heather, who would be mortified if awake, was cuddled up very close to Ezekiel, her shivering gone completely.

"D'awww, they're so cute when they're sleeping," Owen cooed. "This moment is so tender."

He farted.

"You have a way of ruining the mood in less than a second, you know that, fat boy?" Chef said, plugging his nose.

"Ehehe, sorry," the jolly giant replied, grinning sheepishly.

"I think we'll have to leave our campers there for now," said Chris, plugging his nose too. "Hopefully, they'll all make it through the night."

"I'm more concerned about them surviving waking up," Chef said, looking at Heather and Ezekiel's screen. "She's gonna kill my kitchen help when she wakes up." "But she's the one cuddling up to him," Owen replied, looking confused.

"Try explaining to her something is her fault," the large cook pointed out. "I seriously hope he's not falling for her, she's the crabbiest person I know, and I know some crabby people, I don't mind admitting I'm a bit crabby..."

"_A bit?_" Chris thought.

"... And trust me, she's the crabbiest person in Canada."

Chris shrugged. "It doesn't matter, really. Tomorrow, the six groups are going to be heading here to the finish line, here, and the first three groups will be granted immunity."

"I sure hope Gwen's group gets immunity," Owen commented. "Courtney's really mad at her."

"I hope Zeke and crabby girl lose," Chef said, "because I want Crabby to get voted off at long last."

"I just hope things get more interesting," Chris remarked. "For, good viewers, you shouldn't be watching anything else but Total... Drama... Comeback!

"And, if you have time to spare, watch the reruns of Total Drama Island. And not those damned censored versions on Cartoon Network! Hell, those crappy redubbings suck so much, they blew some of our best jokes. Those bunch of boobs have no testicles."

"Bitter, Chris man?" Chef asked.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - They'll try to keep their sanity with the help of their camper friends.)**

Chris Maclean - "Censorship munches."

* * *

**Part 3 is coming up. Much more drama unfolds, so get a box of tissues.**

--

--

--

Yes, this is a serious warning. The third part is going to get quite dramatic. Heck, I might have to break this chapter into four parts, just like the first two days. If not, I'm coming back and editing this. If so, I'll keep this. I don't know why, I'm wild and crazy that way!

Here are the teams again:

**Crocodile** (Stupid) - Harold, Courtney, Gwen

**Zebra** (Charger) - Bridgette, Eva

**Goat** (Quarterback) - Tyler, Izzy, Noah

**Duck** (Groucho) - Cody, Katie

**Pig** (Dinner) - Duncan, Beth, Trent

**Rat** (Survivor) - Ezekiel, Heather


	26. Day 8, Part 3: Total Discovery Channel

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. There is total and drama and an island here, but those are universal.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**Bad-to-the-Bone457** - I am writing my own book, yes. I'm working on it at the same time as this story. Hehe.

**ReaperXIII** - Cody and Beth is a really popular pairing. Not sure if I'll do that, but they will be good friends.

**Tall T** - Yes, there is something else that happened to Courtney besides the vote switching. You'll find out on Day 09 (yes, I'll give you that).

**wingedfighter** - I think all of the episodes of TDI have been censored. All mentions (except one) of crap, shut up, and sucks are changed, and most of the remarks about boobies are taken out. The bull testicles became beef, Lindsay's bleeped out blue streak became a streak of lame insults, and more. Blah.

**rhiannon-rings** - I dare to do stuff, yes. I know Courtney fans aren't too pleased with this story, but hey, there is a TON of C x D stories out there, so mine is just a little different.

**Sealeena** - Yes, I try my best to avoid grammar and spelling errors. I usually go back and edit a story if I catch one. I'm anal like that.

**rambo103.7** - No, no death by tickling! I'm extremely ticklish for an evil necromancer!

**memnarch** - Yes, the lady doth protest too much. \wink, wink\

**jster1983** - Look up draco-flame's profile on DeviantArt. He does the animé versions of the characters, the girls in cat costumes, and fans paired with their TDI crushes.

**To Everybody** - I am _terribly_ sorry about how it took so long to get this chapter out! Blame me, World of Warcraft, and work! Blame everyone! Except Canada, don't blame it on Canada.

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 26 (Day 08, Part 3)** - Heartburn and Heartbreak

--

Heather stirred in her sleep. She could sense how comfortable she was, and she wanted it to stay this way. Strangely though, what was so warm was moving in and out, and was a lot more lumpy than her mattress. Still, it was cozy, and she loved it.

What she was cuddled against murmured in its sleep. Her eyes shot open, and slowly panned upwards.

Ezekiel was sleeping against the tree, unaware consciously of Heather's body against his. Subconsciously, he had been aware, for his arms had wrapped around her protectively. As all this sank in, Heather considered her options.

"_I could smack him really hard, and shout about what a pervert he was,_" she thought, her mind racing. "_No no, not harsh enough. I could start throttling him... no, that might startle him so bad, he'd fight back..._

"_... Why is he so comfortable?_"

The ravenhair tried desperately not to think about that, but it was too distracting. Ezekiel's body seemed to fit hers perfectly, and his arms felt like they could protect her from anything.

"_Damn it, Heather,_" she chastised herself in her mind, a harsher tone than she'd ever used on Leshawna, Beth, or even Gwen, "_don't you dare get comfortable! Do you know what'll happen to your social status if you get involved with this poor prairie boy? He's unkempt, uncool, unpopular-_"

Ezekiel muttered softly in his sleep, pulling her closer.

"_No no no no,_" she whimpered in thought, "_don't you dare, you farm rat! Stop touching me... stop..._"

She lost her speeding train of angry thought, as she found herself more comfortable than she'd ever been. Heather had had a few boyfriends at her school, all of whom were super popular themselves, and none of them lasted long. When they held her, it felt like an obligation on her part, a rough hug at best.

This... this felt so much better. And it drove her crazy with emotions she wasn't used to, that she began shaking. Ezekiel was woken by this, and he grunted softly.

"Mmmmrgghr?" he muttered as he slowly opened his eyes. Heather panicked, and did what came naturally: scream.

And it wasn't just a normal scream. The trees shook, the wildlife scattered in heart-pounding panic, and Ezekiel scurried halfway up the tree he had been resting against. Clinging to the trunk, he looked around with bugged-out eyes.

"What was that, eh?!" he screamed. "Did a thousand cats get their tails stepped on, eh? Did red-hot, rusty nails get scraped across a jagged blackboor'd?!"

"Get your prairie butt down here before I kick it, you groping pervert!"

"You kind of contradicted yourself there, eh." Regardless, Ezekiel slid down the tree, staring nervously at her. "What'd I'd do, eh?"

"You were groping me, you pervert!"

"Wha'? I was asleep, eh."

"You were still-"

"How could I grope you, eh? Weren't you cuddling me-"

"Shut up," she shrieked, so loud and shrill that Survivor the Rat bolted out from under Ezekiel's toque and ran off.

"GAH! Survivor, come back," Ezekiel shouted, running after the rat. Heather, shrieking at the prairie boy, chased after him.

* * *

Noah was woken up by the shrieking. "Tyler, Izzy," he shouted as he bolted upright. "There are banshees attacking! Their deathly screams of tortured sorrow will bring upon our instant death!"

Tyler woke up with indignant frustration, Izzy woke up making a cross with her fingers and chanting holy passages. When the three of them were fully awake, they realized that not only were there no banshees, but Quarterback the Goat was far away from them.

"How'd he get away again?" Noah shouted.

"I think he chewed through the rope again," Izzy admitted. "Or those sneaky banshees freed him!"

"Shut up about non-existent undead women and GET HIM," Tyler shouted, running towards Quarterback. He tripped several times before getting near the goat, who ran off in what he thought was a fun game of chase.

* * *

Courtney, Harold, and Gwen were all awakened in unison by the Heather shrieking. "They threw an air horn in the blender," Harold shouted as he jumped to his feet.

"Shut up," Courtney hissed. "Just go get Stupid and let's hurry. We might lose this contest if you two don't pick it up."

Gwen's eye twitched. She motioned to strangle Courtney when her back was turned, but Harold put his hand on her shoulder to stop any furious impulses.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Camper Roll Call!)**

Gwen - "What is wrong with Courtney, huh? She's becoming a second Heather, and it's getting worse and worse. I cannot stand having two people on the island like that."

Courtney - \She snarls and crosses his arms.\ "Gwen is ticking me off. If she bungles this, I'll make her pay. No one gets in my way for the revenge I so rightly deserve! After all I've suffered because of Harold..." \she shakes her fist\ "... I won't let that loner goth girl ruin things for me."

* * *

Cody and Katie screamed and clung to each other when woken up by the shrieking that was of Heather's. "Soccer moms," Katie shouted in fear.

"Bomb timer," Cody wailed in terror.

The two finally figured out where they were, and how they weren't in major danger. With a sigh, they nodded at each other. "Let's get going," Katie said.

"Yeah, c'mon, Groucho. Groucho? Ducky?" Cody called out to his pet. He noticed the duck was nearby some bushes, and he was tossing something into them. Though Cody never thought a duck could throw something, he certainly couldn't comprehend that it was a _machine gun_ into the bushes.

"Ummm, Groucho?" Cody called out again, an astonished look on his face.

"Wack?" the duck honked and turned to him. "Wack."

Katie looked around at the tech-geek, who was staring at the duck incredulously. "Cody? Everything okay?"

"Umm, yeah. I think I was just, hehe, still a little woozy from being woken up so quickly," he said with a nervous chuckle. "You ready to head out, Katie?"

"Sure thing, Cody! Let's go, go, go!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Cody! Katie! Chris! Groucho-oooooo!)**

Cody - \He looks a little weirded out.\ "I'm almost certain that duck had a... nah, never mind. I may have been spending too much time out here. Katie's sweet and all, but I'm not much of an outdoors person."

Katie - "Cody seemed a little weirded out after we woke up. He's such a nice guy, we talked about all kinds of things on the way to the goal point, like dating, ice cream, animals, Sadie and Noah and Gwen and Trent. It amazes me how he still likes Trent even though Trent got Gwen."

Chris - "Watching Cody and Katie was boring! All they talked about was dumb stuff like dating, ice cream, animals, and their friends! I wanted to see more of that duck.

Groucho the Duck - \He has a cigar in his mouth, and a magnum revolver under his right wing; he quacks with subtitles in the bottom.\ "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. And one morning I napalmed a shark in my pajamas; how he got in my pajamas, I dunno."

* * *

"Stop that pig from squealing, he's...," Duncan shouted as he was woken up, "hey wait, it's not the pig?" Beth and Trent woke up from the combination of shouting. The farm girl comforted Dinner the Pig, who was also agitated.

"You guys ready to head out?" Trent asked them. "We can win this!"

"I dunno about that, Elvis," Duncan remarked as he looked ahead, then down at Dinner. "I cannot see how fast a groggy pig is going to move."

"Yeth, it'sth not going to be easthy," Beth said, smiling nevertheless. She rubbed Dinner behind the ears, and he grunted happily. "But I have faith in this piggie." Trent clapped his teammates on the back, and the three headed off.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - If you're wondering how they eat what Chef cooks...)**

Duncan - "Trent's one cool frood. He's the kind of guy who you'd hang out with all day. Sure, he is a bit of a law-abiding prude, but hey, he's wild enough to date Gwen."

Beth - "Trent is tho nice. Gwen's tho lucky to date him."

Trent - "Duncan and Beth are a couple good eggs."

Quarterback the Goat - "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah?"

* * *

Eva murmured in her sleep as Heather's banshee / pig squealing / soccer mom / bomb timer / chalkboard scratch / cat screaming / air horn screaming pierced through the woods. The fitness buff was barely stirred by it, while Bridgette and Charger the Zebra were up in fits.

"Murlda mnn Mssmus murri mm mrah," Eva grumbled in her sleep.

"Come on, Eva, wake up," Bridgette said as she shook the fitness buff; however, the fitness buff was a solid sleeper, and wasn't waking up. "C'mon, I cannot carry you to the finish line!"

"Mmmt mm mwmrtd moo mme mmth Emmemmrl."

Bridgette let out a frustrated sigh, then looked up at Charger. The zebra grunted curiously, not realizing what she was about to do.

In a couple minutes, a sleeping Eva was placed on Charger's back, and Bridgette led the striped quadruped along.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And other camper facts.)**

Bridgette - "Things get awfully weird around here without anyone trying. It's like some science fiction aura that causes improbability on the island."

Eva - "... I really would like to know how Bridgette managed to lift me onto that zebra."

* * *

Ezekiel, Survivor, and Heather had run almost all the way up the 1000 foot cliff, and the prairie boy was closing in on the terrified rat. He dove for him, and finally managed to catch the rodent; however, it was right in the middle of a muddy puddle. His front drenched in mud, he turned around sheepishly to Heather.

The queen bee glared at him with narrowed eyes. "Well, now that you're done chasing him," she shouted as she grabbed Survivor from his hands, "and wallowing in mud, care to get your butt in gear?!"

"You mean you doo'nt want to cuddle me now, eh?" he couldn't resist saying to her.

"**NO!!**"

Ezekiel shook, the trees shook, even the very cliff seemed to shake from the ear-piercing scream. Before the prairie boy and the queen bee could continue, the earth really did begin to shake.

"Um, Heather?" Ezekiel began. "What are the odds of an avalanche, eh?"

"What," she continued to scream, "are you talking about, you stupid, home schooled-"

"It was snowing a whole lot a few days ago," he continued, "and we're near the top of a cliff, eh. Doo'nt avalanches start from... loud... noises?"

The two froze in horror as the land started to shake. They looked up to see a mass of mud tumbling down towards them.

"RUN," Heather shouted.

"RUN AWAY, EH," Ezekiel screamed.

"SQUEAK," Survivor yelled, squirming in Heather's hands.

The two human beings retreated down the hill, Survivor in Ezekiel's hands. The landslide was a muddy crash of charging fervor, a slimy plow of terrible proportion, a tremendous stampede of slushy earth, and it was rather yucky too.

Heather was almost about to collapse, heaving for air. Something struck her in the middle of her back, knocking her to the side. Clutching Survivor in her hands, the muddy landslide passed by her.

After the ground stopped shaking, Heather managed to finally catch her breath. The ravenhair sat up, then stared down the hill. A trail of mud led down the middle of the sloping cliff, and no sign of Ezekiel.

"Ezekiel?" Heather whimpered.

"Squeak?" Survivor whimpered.

Still no sign of him, no matter how far down the cliff she looked. There were two courses of action: go look for Ezekiel, or go win the contest so that she'd get immunity.

She chose to go win the contest. Survivor, as if in protest, squirmed more in her hands. "Stop it," she hissed at the upset rodent, "I have got to win this contest! I refuse to let those cretins win this!"

Survivor squirmed more in her hands, squeaking sadly. "Look, you don't understand, worm tail," she growled at him. "If I don't win, they vote me off, and then they'll all laugh at me. I refuse to let that happen, don't you get that?!"

Heather suddenly realized what she was doing. "I'm arguing with a rat," she muttered before heading forward.

* * *

Chris, Chef, and Owen were sitting at a small table, playing a game of cards.

"Got any fives?" Chef asked Chris.

"Go fish," the handsome host replied with a sly smile.

With a frustrated grunt, the large cook took another card from the pile. Owen grinned at him, a smile as sly as Chris's. "Got any _fives_, Chef?" the large teenager asked.

Chef roared in frustration. "Not again! You got all three of them for the third time! No no no!!"

He smacked the table from underneath, knocking it up into the air. The cards showered the ground, Chris, and Owen. Bellowing in rage, he stomped on the table and the cards, ripping off one of the legs and smashing the table with it. Knocking Chris over on the ground, the giant cook took off grumbling and swearing and muttering.

Owen, eyes wide in terror, watched as the furious man stomped off, still clutching the table leg in his hand. "That's the third time he's done that, Chris."

"Maybe we should let him win next time," the host remarked, still on his back from where Chef had knocked him over. "It would be safer for our health."

Owen nodded, then looked over at the forest's edge. He saw four figures emerging from the far right side where they were facing. "Ooo, look, Chris! I think the first team is coming!"

He farted in excitement; Chris bolted upright, then moved away from behind Owen, now unofficially the most dangerous place for a human being to be. The handsome host looked over at where Owen was pointing. The four figures were Courtney, Harold, Gwen, and Stupid. He smiled and waved at them.

"Ooo, look," Owen shouted, pointing over at the far left side of the forest clearing. "It's another group!"

Bridgette was leading Charger on a rope, Eva snoring on the back of the zebra. The blond surfer saw Owen waving at her, and waved back at him. The very large teenager pointed over at the far right side, and she saw the crocodile team.

"Oh no no no," Bridgette shouted, pulling desperately on Charger's rope. "I cannot let them win, they'll order meat! C'mon, Charger!"

The zebra reared back in fear slightly; he sent Eva off her back, still snoring away. Bridgette, trying to stay calm, looked Charger in the eyes. The zebra calmed down, and the blond surfer mounted up on his back.

"Hi-ho, Charger," she shouted, "AWAY!"

Whinnying, the zebra bolted forward. With tremendous speed, the striped quadruped raced towards the goal. Bridgette's ponytail whipped in the wind, and when Charger stopped at the base, her hair was sprayed all over. Owen pointed her in the direction of the large cage she was supposed to store him in.

Bridgette managed to lead Charger into the cage, and shut the door. Stroking his long muzzle, he neighed happily.

"The zebra team wins," Chris shouted, pumping his fists into the air.

"Mrrrggrr... we did?" Eva grumbled as she walked up to the goal finish.

"No," Courtney bellowed, "we lost! This is all your fault," she shouted at Harold, then looked at Gwen, "and your fault too!"

"No, it's your fault," Gwen shouted, shoving Courtney. The CIT shoved her back, and it became a shoving contest. With a long sigh, Harold pulled Stupid the Crocodile towards his cage and shoved him in. A few seconds after he was in the cage, Stupid began blaming everyone else as well in his crocodile tongue.

"The crocodile team comes in second," Chris announced. "Only one more team can get immunity now!"

"Your fault!" shouted Gwen.

"Your fault!" shouted Courtney.

"Girls girls girls," Owen cried out, pushing the two girls apart. "Don't fight! You're both pretty!"

"Why are you so mad, Courtney?" Harold dared to ask her. "We won, we got immunity!"

"That's beside the point," the CIT hollered back. "We didn't get first place! If we had won first, we would've gotten the meal! You didn't try hard enough!"

"He did his best, damn it," Gwen shouted, throwing her fists into the air. "You're impossible to please, you know that?"

"Oh, this coming from the crankiest goth in the whole world," Courtney shot back.

"Listen, you-"

"What are you all yelling about?"

A disheveled and slightly muddy Heather was looking at all of them, a curious eyebrow quirked. "Goth girl getting her panties in a knot, as per daily schedule?"

"Ooo, harsh words, Heather," Chris Maclean remarked as he surveyed the teens. Gwen seethed at Heather as the queen bee headed for the cages, Survivor still in her hands. "Say, Heather, where is Ezekiel?"

"I don't know."

There was a brief pause. "Wait, what?" Bridgette managed to say after the initial shock died down. "What do you mean? Where is he?"

"I don't know," Heather repeated, annoyed now. "I lost him back there."

"You lost him?" Harold wheezed, his eyes going wide behind his thick glasses. "How could you lose him?"

"Look, I'm sure he's okay," Heather snapped. "Though there was that mudslide..."

" 'Mudslide'?!" Bridgette shouted, grabbing her head in terror. "There was a mudslide?!"

"Yeah, just up at that cliff, I'm sure he was okay when it hit him."

"It hit him?!" Gwen cried out, a hand over her mouth.

"Look, I'm fairly certain he isn't dead, though I didn't see him after the mudslide took him."

"You... you didn't see if he was okay?" Courtney said, her eyes wide in fright.

"You left him there?" Bridgette cried out, horrified. "You left him all alone... buried?"

"Buried alive?" Eva asked, astonished too. "Buried... alive..."

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN," Chef bellowed, shaking his fists up at the sky.

"We...," Bridgette stammered, wringing her hands, "we gotta go find him! If he's hurt or trapped..."

"How could you do this?" Gwen yelled at Heather, storming over at the queen bee and getting right up in her face. "You lousy wench! You left your teammate to die? You cannot possibly win because of this."

"Chris said at the very beginning," Heather replied, holding up a finger, "that it didn't matter if your teammates made it, just the animal."

"Indeed," Chris said, nodding in agreement. "And thus, the rat team wins third place, and the last team to get immunity."

"But... but what about Ezekiel?" Courtney declared, looking around nervously. "I mean, what if he was seriously injured by the mudslide? I'm not really fond of him, but he's alone in that forest now, and there's bears!"

"... Oh, yeah, bears," Heather said, looking to the side. "Forgot about that. Maybe he'll just get mauled like Cody was."

Bridgette let out a furious cry as she grabbed Heather's shoulders, shaking her fervently. "You let him die out there, you self-centered harpie! How can you not even care?! I've been a peaceful person all my life, but I," she narrowed her pale green eyes at Heather, "am about to kick your scrawny-"

"Um, Bridgette, you're not going to get violent, are you? That's not like you, eh."

Ezekiel, with enough mud for three coats on him, was staring at his fellow campers. He hacked, spitting mud out.

"Zeke," Bridgette cried out in delight, rushing over to him. "Are you alright? Anything broken?"

"Nope, nope I'm good."

"Are you sure you're fine?"

"Ayup. My goodness, eh... I hate the outdoors, eh."

And he fell over. It was a very wet, muddy splat on the ground when he hit. "Oh my," Chris remarked, "he might need a good hosing off. Chef, Owen, could you two get a few buckets of water or something?"

As the two headed off to get water, Bridgette and Gwen looked over the fainted, muddy Ezekiel. "Boy," Eva said after a long pause, "I knew he was going to be in poor shape if he was with Heather, but I didn't think he'd look that bad."

"Oh shut up," Heather remarked. "It wasn't my fault that little pervert got hit by a mudslide."

"It's still your fault you left him there," Bridgette snapped at him, her pale green eyes flaring.

"Well, he just happened to get hit by it," the ravenhair exclaimed, "I was knocked out of the way by some flying object. If I had been hit, he would've left me. He wouldn't have cared."

Heather stormed off, away from the other campers. Bridgette noticed something rather unusual about the queen bee's back: a pair of muddy hand prints on her back.

"Yes he would," she replied.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a reality show.")**

Gwen - "Heather pisses me off to no extent!"

Heather - "Gwen pisses me off to no extent!"

Courtney - "Wow. And I thought I was mad at Harold. He pisses me off to no extent, but I wouldn't leave him buried alive..."

Chef - "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Yeah baby, I love yelling that!"

* * *

The following teams came soon. Cody and Katie arrived shortly after Ezekiel and Heather, and the two were upset to learn they were fourth. While the thin BFFF sulked, Cody comforted her. Groucho the Duck quacked at her in comfort from her cage, rustling his feathers as he filed away at the side of his cage with a survival dagger he had smuggled under his wing.

"We did our best, Katie," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And hey, I'm sure we'll be fine. No reason to vote us off."

The thin BFFF let out a long sigh, then managed to smile. "I guess you're right."

The pig group was next to arrive, fifth in place. Duncan let out a frustrated cry and cursed how slow their pig had been. Beth tried to comfort Dinner, patting the oinker's head.

"Well, it wasn't so bad," Trent told the others. "We got along fine-"

"Better than how any of us did, then," Gwen replied, smirking.

Cody slapped the musician on the back. "You managed to get Beth and Duncan to be nice to each other! Rather impressive, Trent mah man!"

"Hey now, it's not as impressive as Eva and Bridgette finally getting along together," Trent admitted, gesturing to an wide table that had been set up for the first place winners.

"That might change soon," Eva grumbled as she held up a leaf of lettuce. She glared at her veggie patty, as if it was a mortal enemy. "How can you _eat_ this crap?"

"It's an adaptive taste, I'll admit," Bridgette said as she ate more of her vegetarian meal.

"How many years did it take?" the fitness buff snapped, looking disgusted.

Bridgette didn't answer, because the last team finally arrived. Scratched, bruised, dirty, and miserable, the goat team arrived. Izzy's red hair was frizzed up and her skirt chewed on, Tyler's red sports jacket was torn and stained, and Noah looked he had been dragged along the way.

"That damn goat dragged me when he was trying to play," Noah complained to Katie, who tried to wipe the dirt from his clothes. "And my allergies have been acting up, and the goat ate at all our clothes..."

"And this bear with a bloody maw chased us, and vultures circled us for several hours, and the goat headbutted Tyler a couple times," Izzy babbled to Harold.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - You, unlike them, should really just relax.)**

Eva - "Seriously. How can you EAT that vegan crap? Gimme a steak any day!"

* * *

Ezekiel was zonked out in the communal restroom, underneath the shower head. Chef had let the water run on top of him, which rinsed off a great deal of the mud; however, the prairie boy was so worn out from his ordeal that he barely had the strength to shut off the water before he fell asleep in the shower stall.

"Mm mmrmma mmlay Mmmrd mmf Murmmrft mmym mrr," he grumbled in his sleep.

A couple people came into the communal restrooms, and then into the stall he was in, without noticing he was there. "You sure -mmm!- you want to be here, Gwen?" Trent asked between their kisses.

"I'm sick of us never getting any privacy," she whispered, muffled by their passionate kissing. "All of the couples here have been making out... but I prefer no one watching."

They continued to make out, rather heavily. Gwen put her hands under Trent's shirt, while the musician wrapped his arms around her lower back. Their moaning and lip smacking managed to wake Ezekiel.

"Murrmmo mmi mmh mmay... wha?" the prairie boy muttered as he woke up.

Gwen and Trent both noticed him at long last, and let out startled cries. Ezekiel, startled, leapt up in the air, and slammed his head against the shower head.

"Ow," he cried out as he gripped his sore head. "Soo'ry, Gwen, Trent."

"What on earth are you doing in here, Zeke?" Trent asked him.

"Chef had to rinse me oot', and he left me to drown, eh," Ezekiel muttered. He began to hobble towards the door. "I'll go, you two carry on, eh."

"Indeed," Gwen replied, grinning up at Trent.

Before Ezekiel left the communal restrooms, he heard them starting to make out again. He couldn't help but smile, they sounded so happy and they both deserved a little happiness after such an exhausting challenge.

* * *

"Wait, what?" Duncan exclaimed, looking at Heather and Courtney as if they were insane. "Vote off Trent? Why?"

"You should have seen how his girlfriend treated me during that filthy challenge," Courtney shouted, crossing her arms stubbornly. "And I want her to pay for crossing me like that. She was also defending Harold, and-"

Heather grabbed her shoulder, stopping the CIT from continuing shouting. "Hon, calm down," the queen bee instructed her. "We'll vote off Trent, don't worry," she said, then turned to Duncan. "You have a problem with that, Duncan?"

"Well, it's just that he's not that bad a guy, after hanging out with him so much," the criminal admitted, rubbing his arm nervously. "But, um, if you want to, better him than me, you know."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - For Total Drama Island 3000!)**

Duncan - "I didn't want to vote off Trent. I would have been a lot more happy voting off Izzy, Tyler, or Noah. Courtney's desire for revenge is getting a little too serious for me."

* * *

"Good you agree, Duncan," Courtney said, smiling a little. "Now, we have to convince enough people to vote for him too, since only you can vote this time around."

"Well, who can vote this time?" Heather said, tapping her knee. "Bridgette, Eva, Noah, Katie, Beth, Trent, Tyler, Izzy, and Cody."

"Cody, easy," Courtney replied. "He loves Gwen, he'd vote off Trent in a heartbeat."

"Naw, he wouldn't," Duncan said, waving his hand. "I've been hanging out with him during some off-screen time."

"With that geek?" Heather said with a scoff.

"He's not that bad," he replied. "Anyway, he wouldn't vote for Trent unless there was anyone else he could."

"Really?" Courtney asked, sounding amazed. "Um, well, alright then. Duncan, you and I will try to convince anyone we can to vote off Trent. Let's go then."

Courtney and Duncan left the cabin, the CIT heading left and the criminal heading right. Heather followed after the punk, waiting until Courtney was out of hearing range.

"Hey Duncan?" she called out. "When you tell people you are voting off Trent, tell them we already have people besides you, that someone asked you do this. Like, maybe..."

When she told him who, Duncan looked surprised. "What? Why?"

"It'll give people comfort in knowing they aren't the only ones voting for Trent."

"No, why him?"

"Just because okay, stop being a skeez," Heather snapped, crossing her arms. "But if you must know, it's because people would believe he would vote for him the most."

"Fine, fine," he grumbled.

* * *

The marshmallow ceremony that night had the eight unfortunate campers sitting on the stump chairs, looking nervous or concerned. All of the other campers were standing nearby, and the six animals in their cages were also watching.

"The three last teams are all here, wringing their hands and biting their lips in nervous anxiety," Chris announced, knocking on the plate that had seven marshmallows. "You all cast your votes, as did the first place team of Bridgette and Eva.

"Of the eight of you, only seven of you are getting a marshmallow. One of you has failed the contest, has lost the game, is walking the Dock of Shame, and is boarding the Boat of Losers. And you aren't going to come back...

"FOREVER AND EVER!!"

The eight campers on the logs flinched, except for Izzy, who leaned forward and gave Chris an "I dare you" look.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - TWANG!)**

Izzy - "I voted for that jellybean smuggler, Duncan! I think I know where the fiend is hiding them: in his mohawk!"

Duncan - "I managed to convince Noah and Katie to vote for Trent, since I said there was a high chance Noah might be voted off. Also told them who had 'planned' this voting, like Heather asked. What is she up to?"

Cody - "I voted for Noah, but I hope he doesn't get voted off. Just had no one else I would've voted for."

Bridgette - "I know this'll sound mean, but I still don't like Duncan, so I voted for him."

Trent - "It was hard to vote for someone this time around, since we all got along fine this time as well. I just picked Noah, because he's still a little too cynical for me."

Eva - \She shrugs.\ "Courtney asked me to vote for Trent, so what the hell. I wonder what she's up to."

Beth - "I know who I voted for will more than likely not get voted off... but I still have a really bad feeling about this one. It'sth... foreboding... like a really bad omen."

Izzy - \She cries out in pain, yanking something out from where she was sitting.\ "How weird, a splinter in the shape of a black cat."

* * *

Chris eyed the eight campers sitting down, then smiled. "Okay then, people! First off will be the people who didn't get any votes! One of those people is... Katie!"

The thin BFFF cried out in joy, then smiled at Noah. They hugged, then she retrieved her marshmallow from the plate.

"Cody! Tyler! And Beth!"

The three picked up their marshmallows. Cody high-fived Trent as he walked over to the crowd of campers. Ezekiel and Tyler bumped fists, and Beth glomp-hugged Gwen in her excitement.

"That leaves only you four," Chris said, grinning wickedly at the last campers.

Trent took a deep breath, and smiled confidentially. Noah crossed his arms, looking even more confident than Trent. Izzy grinned at Chris, taunting him without words. Duncan snarled at Chris, drumming his fingers against his arm.

"The first marshmallow goes to... Noah!"

The know-it-all nodded as he retrieved his marshmallow. As he approached the other campers, he was tackled by a very happy Katie, knocking him to the ground with an, "AWK!!"

"Next one goes to... Izzy!"

The wild redhead cheered as she swiped her marshmallow and pranced over to the other campers. Owen, who was with them, let out a loud cheer.

"Now we're down to Trent and Duncan," Chris announced. "One of you is leaving this island. Who's it gonna be?"

Courtney took a deep breath, crossing her arms and looking determined. Gwen was almost shaking in anticipation, Bridgette holding her shoulder in comfort.

"Hey man," Trent said to Duncan, startling the criminal, "good luck to you."

"What?" he stammered, then tried to shrug it off. "Oh! Um... good luck to you too, dude."

"Now then," Chris said, "the final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Duncan."

The criminal couldn't help but sigh in relief as he picked up his marshmallow. Behind him, Trent slumped in his seat, shaking his head.

"No," Gwen shouted, cringing. "You cannot be serious!"

"Sorry, Gwen. Sorry, Trent," Chris remarked, "but you're out, dude."

Gwen let out a choked sob, almost falling over in her grief. Trent managed to arrive right before she did, and hugged her comfortingly.

"It's okay, Gwen," he told her, "it's not good-bye, remember that."

"Except that I am saying good-bye to you right now," Gwen said, her voice small.

"It won't be long, unless you win the whole thing," Trent said, stroking her hair. "And I know you can do that."

Gwen managed to smile up at him, and they kissed. Her green lipstick smeared on his, and it looked a little silly when they parted.

* * *

"Bye, Trent," the goth girl called out to Trent, waving good-bye to him as the Boat of Losers left the Dock of Shame.

Most of the campers had gathered on the dock as well, waving good-bye. Beth, Cody, Bridgette, and Duncan looked almost as upset as Gwen.

"Take care of yourself, my lovely goth girl," Trent called out to her. Her pale face flushed pink in embarrassment.

When the boat was out of sight, Gwen let out a long sigh, covering her eyes with her hand. Tyler and Bridgette put their hands on her shoulders, both trying to comfort her because, like them, she had lost the one she cared about to the Boat of Losers.

"This sucks," Ezekiel blurted out. "All the couples are getting separated, eh!"

"Yeah, no more watching people making out?" Izzy declared, stomping her foot. "That really sucks!"

"Why's that keep happening?" Ezekiel asked aloud, trying to ignore Izzy's comment though he silently agreed. Courtney scoffed, which she regretted because Gwen glared at her from behind her hand.

"You were involved in this, weren't you?" she shouted at the CIT. Even though Bridgette tried to calm her down, Gwen was furious now. "You had Trent voted off to get revenge on me, didn't you?"

"Don't look at me, Gwen," Courtney replied, crossing her arms and taking her 'innocent politician' stance. "I couldn't vote this time around."

"Then you had your boyfriend do it, didn't you?" the goth girl yelled, pointing at the criminal. "How could you do it, Duncan?"

The punk held up his hands in defense, then Noah stepped in-between them. He was determined to stop this fight, because Katie was cringing in fright from the yelling and hostility.

"Look, Gwen," he said to her, trying his best not to back away from her furious look, "it was nothing personal, okay? Someone has to go, ya know? Like Queen says, 'another one bites the dust'."

"So you voted for Trent too?" the goth girl snapped, getting up in Noah's face.

"It was only to make sure Katie or I were not the ones voted off," the egghead replied, leaning so far back that he was tilted at a 45 degree angle. "We also only did it because we were told that Cody had organized this to keep us safe-"

"WHAT?!"

Gwen's shout, a mix of horror and fury, startled everyone, especially Noah, who tipped over and collapsed on the dock. Cody, horrified, watched as his dream girl turned towards him, heaving in fury. "You... you planned this?" she hissed, stomping over to him. "You told them to vote off Trent?"

"What? ... Wait," Cody stammered, terrified as Gwen approached him with that hurt, furious face. "N-No, I didn't-"

"_YOU LITTLE CREEP_!"

She slapped Cody across the face, very hard. The tech-geek reeled from the blow, a red imprint left on his left cheek. Bridgette desperately tried to push Gwen away, getting in-between the two.

"No Gwen, don't do this," the surfer girl pleaded to her friend. "C'mon, let's just go!"

"I can't believe he did that...," Gwen said, new tears rolling down her face as she and Bridgette left the dock. "I can't believe it... he told me he was over it... he was lying this whole time..."

The other campers were looking at all those involved in the tragedy right now. Cody fell on his knees and hands, taking in deep, shuddering breaths. His thin body was shaking hard.

"Cody?" Beth called out to him softly. "Cody? I know you didn't do that, right?" She put her hands on his shoulder. "Cody? Are you-"

"Just...," he managed to sputter out, "please. Just leave me be..."

Tears spilled from his eyes; he tried to cover them with his hand, but Beth and several other of the campers saw them. The farm girl almost cried too, but her emotions were directed elsewhere when she saw Duncan leaving the dock.

"How could you do thisth to him?" the short girl shouted at him, chasing after the punk. "You told the others Cody planned thisth, didn't you?"

"Quit shouting at me, I'm sick of all this shouting," Duncan replied, blowing her off and picking up the base.

"Well if you didn't, who did?" Beth called out to him, her face twisted in anger. "Cody didn't plan this, so who did?"

Someone chuckled beside her, and that someone was Heather. "You sure have a lot of faith in Cody, pig girl. You should realize that he's all for Gwen, though it looks like he's blown it."

"Shut up, you sthkank," Beth hollered before stomping off. Most of the campers past by as well, some shooting suspicious looks at Heather. Courtney was last, and stopped once everyone was out of hearing range.

"Heather," she whispered, "did you tell Duncan to tell the others that Cody was the one who planned this?"

"Of course," the ravenhair said, flipping a strand of hair behind her, "and it worked just as well as I hoped for it to."

"But... but...," the CIT stammered, looking back at the dock. Cody was still there, sobbing on his hands and knees. "Why?" she managed to say. "Why would you do that to him?"

"It's only strategy," Heather replied, not looking at Cody; she seemed to avoid looking at the devastated tech-geek. "This way, they'll have someone else to vote off next time."

"It... it doesn't seem right," Courtney said, still looking at Cody. "He looks so hurt!"

"Oh, he'll get over it, he never had a chance with Gwen anyway," the queen bee replied, shrugging and still not looking at Cody. "What, you actually feel sorry for the little geek?"

She walked off, having said her piece. The CIT looked over at Cody one more time, and whispered under her breath, "I do, actually."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...)**

Courtney - "I cannot believe she did that! Cody's done nothing to deserve this! I wanted revenge on Gwen, but... this was too much!"

Duncan - "Damn it, I should have seen that coming. Man, poor Cody. People cannot die of heartbreak, so I'm told, but he looked close to it."

Izzy - "Izzy _really_ mad at Duncan now, but Izzy is mostly mad at Heather; I overheard that she was the one who gave Duncan this idea! So I fed her Royale Threads coupon she won the second day to my goat! HA!"

Heather - "People keep acting like I'm a bad person for my strategy. Look, the show is called Total _Drama_ Island! That weird goth girl would vote off Ezekiel if she felt it would hurt me! ... Which it wouldn't, because I don't like him!"

Beth - "I cannot believe they did that to Trent and Cody! How _dare_ they! It makesth me tho mad that they don't care about who they hurt to win thisth game!"

Katie - "Poor Cody... oh..." \She cringes, looking close to tears herself.\ "It's like watching a drama, and I'm at the tear-jerking moment, and I'm shouting at the TV for the characters to not fight... oh wait, Sadie's the one who shouts at the TV."

Cody - \His eyes are bloodshot from crying, and he is staring down at the stall's floor. He tries to say something, but takes a deep, shuddering breath instead.\

* * *

**(Where They Are Now)**

Dinner the Pig was adopted by Beth's family. He lived a long, happy life, as happy as a pig could. He died of natural causes.

Charger the Zebra also lived a long, happy life. Bridgette took part in making sure he went to a nice zoo, where she visited him often.

Goat the Quarterback lived in a petting zoo, one close to Izzy's house. Many kids visited him, wanting to see the first 'celebrity goat.'

Survivor the Rat escaped from his cage and lived on Total Drama Island, swiping food from the kitchen and sleeping in holes in the cabins. He listened in on all the conversations of the campers (like the audience), and snuggled up in Ezekiel's spare toque when he slept.

Stupid the Crocodile escaped from his cage too, and tried to eat the campers in their sleep. He was assassinated by an unknown being, and made into a nice pair of boots and a purse.

Groucho the Duck escaped as well, and became an assassination of justice. With feathery, extreme prejudice, he took out terrorist groups, murderous extremists, fascists and communist dictators, and also he smacked people who let their cell phones ring in movie theaters.

After he destroyed the base of a well-known terrorist group, the United States president George W. Bush took a political risk when he stated before a press conference, "The world needs more ducks like Groucho." Groucho the Duck's whereabouts are unknown, but he still strikes at the enemies of Canada and the USA.

* * *

**Bridgette** - Duncan

**Eva** - Trent

**Noah** - Trent

**Katie** - Trent

**Duncan** - Trent

**Beth** - Izzy

**Trent** - Noah

**Tyler** - Izzy

**Izzy** - Duncan

**Cody** - Noah

--

Trent - 4.

Noah - 2.

Izzy - 2.

Duncan - 2.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent.

* * *

--

--

--

The tragedy has increased now. And it will continue to increase. I'll give you all a couple hints about Day 09:

1.) You're finally going to see Harold and Courtney comfront each other.

2.) The gross factor that TDI had is coming back here.

3.) Concerned about the issue between Gwen and Cody? There'll be more of that too.

4.) It's going to be a lot more dramatic and gripping than you think.

5.) You'll only get more Ezekiel and Heather if enough people ask for it.

Stay tuned for the next episode of Total Drama Comeback! \wicked grin\


	27. Day 9, Part 1: Yum Yum, Get Tum Tums

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. In case of a sudden drop in pressure in the fanfiction, oxygen masks will deploy.

--

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**The Dude of Doom** - Izzy being an intern? It all depends on how far she gets. We'll all have to see, now won't we? *wicked grin*

**Sonowa** - *even more wicked grin*

**Volvochick** - "How did Bridgette get Eva on the horse?" Hehe, sorry, we'll never know.

**Imagi** - The RCMP get me? Hehehe... they can try. And thanks for the big review!

**Bad-to-the-Bone457** - Believe me, I heard. Hehehe...

**Tall T** - Yeah, the pacing is a lot more slow. Sorry about that.

**Mappadouji** - ... *nods*

**TotalDramaLover** - Eeeek! Hey, I didn't vote off Trent, they did! *points at the campers*

**ReaperXIII** - The prison break challenge will be much further on, when the show becomes a FFA (10 campers left).

**Chupacabra Kid** - Yes, kitty-kat Bridgette is a must to see, rawr.

**hopeless-romatic121** - Thank you! About suggestions, I don't take direct suggestions, but the story does sway sometimes if the majority of reviews seem to request it. Also, when this story finally gets to the Final Five, the audience's opinion will help choose the winner moreso!

**TDIfan1** - Oh dear, I cannot let you die! Here, here is the newest chapter!

**To Everybody** - It's nice to see you all show such sympathy for poor Cody. It's hard to hurt nice people in stories, but life is like that at times. Don't worry, your requests have been taken into consideration:

Ezekiel and Heather will be an official pairing in this fanfic. Scream in joy / horror / for the hell of it, whichever one you want to do.

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

* * *

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... the campers had to walk their pets through the woods of Wawanakwa Island. And these pets weren't exactly cats and dogs: they were a playful goat, a nervous rat, a large pig, a stupid crocodile, a feisty zebra, and a really violent duck.

The trip was hard on some. Courtney and Gwen started a wild cat fight, Ezekiel was buried by a mudslide, and the goat team had to chase that rascal all over! In the end, Bridgette managed to pull off a wild win, the crocodile team came in a close second, and Heather won third though she left her possible squeeze under a lot of slushy mud!

Courtney, determined to get revenge on Gwen, had Trent voted off the island. Gwen was devastated, but was hurt moreso when she heard Cody had organized having her boyfriend voted off. Cody was probably hurt more when the girl he crushes on most struck him across the face; the most tragic part (even though it brings in ratings) was that Cody wasn't involved in voting off Trent, he didn't even vote for Trent.

The tension is building up in the campers, and it's time for someone's top to blow. Will it be Courtney at Harold, because she has had been at his throat, like, since the beginning of this season? Will it be Gwen at Cody, or will she learn the truth before she hurts him more? Or will it be anyone at Heather, because, well, we all know how much rage she generates in others.

These questions and more will be answer on _the_ most dramatic, heart string tuggin' episode yet of Total... Drama ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 27 (Day 09, Part 1)** - The Eating at the Crime

* * *

**(Day 09, late afternoon.)**

Harold lay on the crude cot, taking deep breaths with an oxygen mask over his face. He was unconscious, and his body was pale, stiff, and slick with sweat. He looked near death.

Bridgette was seated next to him, her head and shoulders rested on his cot. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and strain. She was asleep, her breathing almost as heavy as Harold's.

Ezekiel was the only other one in the emergency room, looking ragged but pacing in frantic worry. He was stained with vomit, stinking terribly, breathing hard and with bloodshot eyes too.

Eventually, the prairie boy stopped long enough to grab a clean towel Chef had left there. He started to wipe himself off when the tent flap swung open, and he spun around. "Chef?" he asked, desperate for the answer to the question that had sent the cook out of the medical tent in the first place.

But it wasn't Chef. It was actually someone Ezekiel didn't believe at first: Leshawna. Looking frantic, she first saw puke-stained Ezekiel standing there, then her boyfriend lying near-motionless on the cot.

"Oh good gracious," she whimpered, her hands up at her mouth. "Harold?"

"He's resting right now, eh," Ezekiel whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him in desperation, then her face cringed involuntarily when the stench of vomit from him hit her nose. He removed his hand and stepped back.

"Is... is he okay?" Leshawna asked as she kneeled next to her unconscious boyfriend. "Is he going to be okay?"

"We doo'nt know yet," Ezekiel admitted, collapsing in a chair nearby. "We just knoo' he's lucky to be alive, eh."

"What happened? Was it is allergies?"

"Yes, but we doo'nt knoo' what it was exactly yet, eh," the prairie boy said, resting his forehead against his knee.

"But... but who did this?" she said, clenching her fists then covering her eyes as tears spilled.

"We doo'nt knoo' that either, soo'ry," Ezekiel managed to mumble, so tired he was ready to drift off into sleep. "The others are trying to figure this 'oot."

There was silence as Leshawna stared at Harold, taking his hand into her's. "Zeke man," she whispered, "can you tell me what happened?"

"Everything?" he asked, sounding zonked and struggling to stay awake.

"I want to know what happened. Please."

"Well... you should knoo' that he's only alive now because of Bridgette, eh," he said, looking up weakly. "She reacted first when he started to convulse from the allergic reaction, eh.

"The day started off pretty well, he was fine with us. In fact, the one who was off worse was Cody..."

* * *

**(Day 09, early morning.)**

Ezekiel let out a sharp cry as a heavy body slammed into him, knocking him to the ground and the wind out of him. The football was knocked from his hands.

"Woohoo," Duncan shouted, pumping his fists in the air. "That was an incredible tackle, Tyler!"

"Compression fracture," Ezekiel whimpered, managing to chuckle. Tyler, laughing in victory, helped lift the prairie boy back up on his feet. Ezekiel looked over at the goal line (marked with the remaining oatmeal breakfast, which acted as a white paste well enough), and he groaned as he saw he was only a few feet away.

"Way to go, Tyler," Eva congratulated her fellow athlete, and high-fived him. When she turned away, he gripped his hand in pain; Eva's high-fives were as harsh as her tackles.

The teenagers had started a game of tackle football, just to pass the time. The teams were Tyler, Eva, Duncan, Gwen, and Courtney verses Bridgette, Ezekiel, Katie, Harold, and Izzy. Beth, Cody, Owen, and Noah watched at the sidelines, cheering on the teams.

It was difficult to play when Courtney kept tackling Harold when he didn't have the ball (though Izzy was tackling anyone when mood struck her). Katie was also running in the wrong direction half the time.

"Woohoo, way to crush the opposition," Noah gave her halfhearted cheer, not even looking up from her book. "Go, home team, go."

"Noah, your girlfriend'sth team was the one who just got tackled," Beth told him.

The egghead blinked, then looked up. "Oh. Whoops."

Katie shook her head at him, grinning at her boyfriend. "You really should watch the game."

"Sportsth aren't histh thing," Beth pointed out.

"Yes, yes, about half the people here have quoted that back to me at one point during the first inning of this game," the egghead replied, rolling his eyes.

"Football doesn't have innings, dude," Tyler replied.

"Oh. Round?"

"That's boxing," Eva said, quirking an eyebrow.

"... Par?"

"Golf," pointed out Gwen.

Noah slapped his forehead, then looked over at his fellow brainiac. "Cody man," he said, "help me out here. What's football divided into?"

The tech-geek, who had been depressed ever since Gwen had slapped him from the last voting ceremony, only shrugged. He continued to stare at the ground. "Don't know either? Aw well."

Beth shot Noah a glare for his insensitivity. The farm girl cast Gwen a look, who had turned away from the "crowd" when Cody had been brought into the conversation.

"Why don't you go play, Cody?" she asked her friend. He shrugged, looking away from the others.

"I just don't want to do anything right now."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - In pure druidic nature.)**

Harold - \He is in a wheelchair, though he doesn't seem to be injured physically.\ "Looking back, this day could have been avoided if I had been a bit braver. It was a terrible day overall."

Beth - "Gwen's been giving Cody the cold shoulder ever sthince that Dock of Shame night. He'sth really hurting too. I feel tho sthorry for him..."

Gwen - \She looks upset, even sad.\ "Things have been really bad of late, even for this stinking place. I don't have Trent, I don't have Leshawna, so now only Bridgette is the only sane one left. And..." \she glares at the camera\ "I cannot believe what Cody did. It makes me so mad that he voted Trent off, and he actually thought it would work in me going to him?"

Ezekiel - \He is fervently picking his nose.\ "I cannot help it, eh! There's no moor' tissues on this island, and doo'nt want the girls to see me pickin' my nose!"

* * *

Heather was trying not to watch the football game from where she was, which was sitting on the patio of the Screaming Gopher cabin.

"Just how long can these losers delight in pounding each other into the ground?" she asked herself, rolling her eyes.

Courtney tackled Harold for the umpteenth time when he wasn't holding the ball. Ezekiel was tackled once again by Gwen, and Heather felt her face flush. Snarling, she looked away.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Where the hunter is hunted.)**

Heather - "I wasn't blushing! No, I don't like him! I don't like him in any way! I'm not jealous! No no no no no no no no-"

Courtney - \She is sulking, crossing her arms.\ "Harold still being here is getting on my last nerve. A lot of this feels like his fault."

Heather - "... no no no no no no no no no-"

Duncan - "Courtney's been really uptight whenever Harold is brought up. Or... if he's in the same area. Or... if anyone wheezes like he does. _Gosh_." \He chuckles, then looks around nervously.\ "Whoa, don't let her see that."

Courtney - \She lets out a long sigh.\ "I just want this to be over. I don't want to be so... mad all the time. I want to be with my friends and enjoy this contest, not be sulky... all I want is Harold off, then I'll be happy."

Heather - "... no no no no no no no no no no... but you know, if he pumped up his abs a little and tanned his skin... NO! No no no no no no no no no no-"

* * *

Chris approached the fake football field, smirking as he watched Izzy ride on Eva's back, yelling war cries as she tried to pull the fitness buff down. "Almost got her, crazy girl," he called out to her.

The handsome host noticed the downtrodden Cody, and clapped a hand on the tech-geek's shoulder. "There there, Codemiester. Today's challenge might just be the thing to cheer you up."

"I really would like to know how a challenge could cure emotional heartbreak," Tyler remarked. "Hasn't worked for me yet."

"Nor me," Harold replied.

"None of them have worked for me, ya know," Owen said. "Mostly because I'm not allowed to participate since I'm an intern... and was the first one voted off!"

He burst into tears, falling on his knees and bawling. Ezekiel headed over to him and held his shoulder comfortingly. Chris looked between this, to Cody looking depressed, and to Izzy and Eva now wrestling on the ground threatening to tear each other apart.

"This show has all the drama, much more than last season. But the gross volume hasn't been met yet. Last year, we had puking by the fourth challenge!"

"Thank you _so_ much for reminding me," Bridgette scoffed, crossing her arms.

"The fact is, this is the ninth challenge, and we still haven't met the grossness that TDI was known for! So we gotta amp it up with a challenge called...

" 'E' is for Eating!"

The fourteen campers (and Owen) stared at him. "Look, everyone, just get into the cafeteria!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - A real warrior for confessions.)**

Harold - \in the wheelchair\ "Should've done it then... gosh. Should've done it then."

Cody - \staring down at the ground\ "I should have been more into that challenge. If I had given it my all... none of this would have happened."

Courtney - "I couldn't believe what had happened by the end of this challenge! It was the very definition of insanity!"

Tyler - "... I wonder what Chris meant when he said he'd show these confessions earlier in the show to bring up tension. That'd be mean to the poor viewers."

* * *

When the fourteen campers (and Owen) were in the cafeteria, Chris clapped his hands and grinned. "Well then, my fellow islanders, E is for Eating will be a wild challenge of chowing down on who knows what! Because you're going to be adding the toppings and making the food for your fellow contestants!

"Everyone will, for each challenge, be choosing something edible that starts with a certain letter of the alphabet. Now who you give it to will be decided at the beginning of each round: you may be giving it to a specific member, you may be giving it to a random member that might end up being your teammate, or... you won't know until the challenge begins!

"You see, every round starts with a letter of the alphabet. Depending on what I say, it could be the dressing on top of the food, the only thing they're fed, or an ingredient in the food! You are out if you cannot or will not eat the food, or if you throw up."

Noah cleared his throat, and raised his hand. "I'd really hate to give everyone a chance to use the only line people seem to remember me from season one for, but I do have a list of life-threatening allergies."

"Me too," Harold wheezed, shooting his hand up.

"I'm a vegetarian," Bridgette protested.

"I," Beth started, "would really like not to have to eat-"

"Now stop your yammering, you yams," Chris shouted, clapping his hands. "Chef is in the back, and he has a list of all the allergies and deadly products you all fear. If you are going to be given anything you're allergic to what you are served, you'll get a pass for that round.

"Oh, and Bridgette? I guess we can give you a break since the animal rights' activist will be all over us if we make you eat meat."

Fourteen confused campers exchanged looks. "So," Beth spoke up again, "what are the teams?"

"Oh, right," Chris exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "I forgot about that. Beth, you get a cookie!"

Beth caught the cookie and started to munch it down. She broke it in half and tried giving some to Cody, but he turned her down politely.

"The first team is the Mystery Meat team, consisting of Harold, Bridgette, Katie, and Cody!

"The second team is the Chopped Liver team, which is Ezekiel, Gwen, Izzy, and Beth!

"The third team is Chef's Surprise, which is Courtney, Duncan, and Noah. Since you have only three members, you get one freebie if a teammate fails.

"The fourth and final team is Catch of the Day, leaving Tyler, Heather, and Eva! You also get a pass if one teammate fails."

With four tables set up, the four teams sat with each other. Chris watched as they all exchanged glances. "Now, are you all ready?"

"Can one be?" Noah grumbled.

"Say good bye to all my stomach contents," Gwen muttered.

"This is gonna hurt," Tyler said, drumming his fingers on his leg.

"Let's just get it over with," Heather added.

"Oh," Chris declared, snapping his fingers. "When you pick your foods, here are the list of rules:

"**1**. We will not accept any of the three P's: poop, pee, or puke.

"**2**. Nothing toxic, poisonous, radioactive, pointy, sharp, explosive, inedible, burning, and/or acidic.

"**3**. Nothing that's dead or alive, except insects.

"**4**. Cannot be vaguely related to the letter, like 'purple-dyed hair' for P, 'smashed ice' for S, 'green soap' for G.

"**5**. There is never a fifth rule.

"**6**. The first two teams to lose all of their members will have to vote someone off!

"Now get to know your teammates before this all begins!"

* * *

**(Mystery Meat)**

Harold was staring at the floor, looking dejected. Cody was doing the same, but even more depressed than him. Katie was waving over at Noah, looking longfully already.

Bridgette almost felt sorrowful being around the three. "Okay, guys," she spoke up, clapping her hands, "I'm sure we can do this!"

Katie and Harold nodded, but Cody was still staring at the floor. Harold patted his back in comfort and said, "Look, Cody, we know you're feeling upset and all, but ya gotta pull yourself together and get into the challenge, dude."

"That's right," Katie chimed in. "Everyone knows it's better to eat when you're upset."

"Except what I'll be eating is made for the purpose of gagging me," Cody muttered with a sigh.

Bridgette drummed her fingers on the table. She had suspected that the tech-geek had been involved in voting off Gwen's boyfriend, but she didn't want to bring it up now. "Cody, I know you're upset and all, but... you will try, right?"

The tech-geek looked over at the blond surfer, then shrugged. "I suppose. I'd hate to look bad on TV, as a quitter."

"You've got major fans to remember, Cody," Katie said in agreement, patting his shoulder. "All those fangirls who admire ya."

"I don't really care about that anymore," he admitted, resting his head on the table in his arms.

"Oh man...," Katie gasped, her eyes going wide. "You _are_ upset, aren't you, Cody?"

* * *

**(Chef's Surprise)**

"Sure you can do this, bookworm?" Duncan asked Noah, grinning wickedly at him and nudging with his elbow.

The egghead side-glared at the punk. "Can you?"

"Didn't you see me during Total Drama Island, dude? I got the stomach for anything!" Courtney snorted at her boyfriend.

"That's right, Duncan, brag about your ability to eat revolting food like if it was a gift."

Duncan snorted right back. Noah watched this between the two, and snorted as well. "You two continue to flirt then."

"I'm not flirting with him," Courtney replied, snapping her fingers at Noah. "Now, seriously Noah, are you going to be able to choke food down?"

"So long as I'm not allergic, and if I am, I get a pass."

"Fine by me," Courtney replied. She shot a side glare at Harold before saying, "Just hope Four Eyes over there doesn't get something he's allergic to every time."

"Courtney hon, relax," Duncan said to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I'll make sure his team loses. I promise you, if you'll just calm down."

The CIT looked into the punk's eyes, and saw he spoke with sincerity. "Thank you, Duncan."

"Now before we begin the eating contest, can I have some tongue?"

"EEEEEEW, NO!"

Courtney glared at Noah, who was now fake gagging after his loud reaction. The CIT managed to ignore this as she gave Duncan a modest kiss.

* * *

**(Catch of the Day)**

Tyler, Heather, and Eva were all exchanging ugly looks. The queen bee finally broke the bad tension and said, "Okay, what's up with you two?"

"I despise you, and Tyler's my athlete rival," Eva said.

"I think you had something to do with Trent being voted off, Heather," Tyler admitted, "and I'm glaring at Eva because she's glaring at me."

"And I think you're a psychotic rage-aholic, Eva," Heather snapped, "and Tyler, you're a no-talent jock who's dating a girl who's super stupid, even for a cheerleader."

Eva and Tyler exchanged looks. They stuck their fingers in their mouths, then inserted their saliva-coated fingers into her ears. She squealed and swung her hands at their arms.

"You're so gross, you immature dweebs," she shrieked.

"Oh shut up, before Ezekiel changes his mind and doesn't date you anymore," Eva remarked, smirking wickedly.

"If you insinuate that one more time-"

"Naw, I think he's got better taste than that," Tyler remarked.

"Especially if she's puking her guts out," Eva commented.

Heather slammed her fists on the table, hissing in anger. "Look," she managed to strain out, "we're a team right now... so... let's... just get... ALONG!"

"Fine by me, Mrs. Zeke," Eva said. She and Tyler cackled, exchanging a high-five.

"I DON'T LIKE HIM!!"

* * *

**(Chopped Liver)**

"One day, I really hope she learns the fact that we knoo', eh," Ezekiel muttered, hiding his eyes with his toque.

Izzy giggled and clapped her hands. "You're so pimp, Zeke, you got the most popular girl wanting you."

"I doo'nt got pimples, do I?" he asked, inspecting his face.

"She means that you manage to get a bunch of girls to go after you at once," Gwen explained, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, _please_," Ezekiel said, struggling not to laugh as he spoke. "I am not a... what is it called again, a 'chick dragnet'?"

"Magnet, Zeke," Gwen corrected him, rolling her eyes.

"You're kind of being harsth to him, Gwen," Beth pointed out, looking over at Ezekiel.

"Well, he is the sexist on a team full of girls," Izzy remarked, grinning happily and beaming at Ezekiel. "So we all gotta rely on him to win this match, as much as we hate it!"

The other three stared at her, as she continued to giggle and bob her head around. "You know, Izzy," Gwen remarked, "I hope your taste buds are as weird as you are, then we can win this easily."

"You're really mad, Gwen," Beth said, looking astonished, "are you still upsthet about Trent?"

"How could I not be, Beth?" the goth girl snapped at her.

"You know it wasthn't Cody's fault-"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it, with any of you," Gwen snarled, looking away from her new team. "I just want to carry on this contest with as little frustration and gagging as possible. Got it?"

"Can do," Ezekiel replied, a little nervous now.

"Right-o, Major Goth," Izzy shouted with a snap salute.

"Okay, okay," Beth muttered, sad about this turn of emotional events.

* * *

"Okay, Chef is now handing out little papers saying who your first food order will be given to," Chris Maclean explained to the campers. The large cook was, indeed, handing out slips of paper, and was also putting a small bowl of salad in front of every camper.

As everyone read the names on their paper, the host continued. "Now, you will be putting this topping a small bowl of salad. Everyone will have to eat the salad to pass on to the next round!

"And your first letter for your food choice is... M!"

The campers all nodded, and then headed out. In a few minutes, most of them came back with a handful of brown glop.

"Mud? Is that the best you all could come up with?" Chris taunted them. "How unoriginal!"

"Hey, Maclean," Eva snarled at him as she slopped her handful of mud on Duncan's salad, "you want to eat some to see how easy it is?"

"Um, no thanks," Chris said apologetically, worried because he felt that Eva might just do that.

Some campers managed to think of something else besides mud. Harold blew mucus from his nose onto Heather's salad; Gwen sprinkled mold on Duncan's salad; Courtney poured mouthwash on Ezekiel's salad; and Izzy dropped a handful of maggots on Cody's salad (and she didn't explain where she got them from).

Noah had the most interesting idea: Beth was staring at her salad, which had a five dollar bill and a couple ones. "Ith thith a joke?" she asked.

"Nope, it's a moral dilemma," Noah said, a very sly smile on his face. "Do you eat the money, or do you get seven dollars, the easiest you ever made?"

Beth looked at him, then at her salad, then chowed down. The know-it-all groaned in displeasure, and muttered, "It was worth a shot," as he started to force down muddy salad.

Everyone managed to eat the salad they were given, although Cody had the hardest time. The tech-geek was a little green as he lay slumped on the table, moaning in pain. The host clapped, giggling as the campers tried to wipe mud mustaches off.

"Your next challenge will be given to another camper, preselected," Chris explained to them. "This won't be on something though, you'll have to eat it straight up!

"The letter this time will be... B!"

Now the campers would a little confused. They scurried around the kitchen, their cabins, and outside.

Eva came back first, holding a bra on her hands. She dropped it on Ezekiel's plate, chuckling evilly.

"Eva... dudette," Chris started saying, eyeing the undergarment, "are you sure about this?"

"Hey, it's not mine," she replied, still grinning, "it's one of Heather's."

Bridgette dropped some bark on Noah's plate; Duncan, grinning like a maniac, poured beer on Izzy's plate; Tyler slapped some butter on Harold's plate; Beth dropped a banana peel on Eva's plate.

Cody looked at his plate, which had a few dead bees on it. "Um, is this safe?" he asked, looking quite disgusted.

"I removed the stingers," Izzy told him, "so it's all cool. I'm so lucky, I keep getting you as my victim! But you may be better at eating bugs than I thought!"

She started to lap up the beer that Duncan had spilled on her plate, giggling more and more. Gwen looked at the barbecue sauce on her plate, and groaned as she licked it off her plate. Katie was quite pleased by getting bacon, while Courtney's eyes watered as she licked up black pepper.

Once again, everyone passed the round. Cody looked even more sick, while Ezekiel tried to slurp up one of the straps of the bra he had been finishing up.

"That's so gross," Chris cackled, slapping Ezekiel on the back; Heather was shaking in fury. She was trying to convince the others she didn't like the prairie boy, and now he was eating her underwear.

"I'm more than certain that's not conshidered second bashe, Eshekiel," Izzy said, cackling as she slurred her words.

"How much beer did you give her?" Courtney asked Duncan.

"It wasn't even half a bottle, calm down."

"I hash got red hair coming from my head," Izzy squealed, still cackling, "doesh that mean I'm Irisssssh?"

"Now _this'll_ be good TV," Chris said, watching as Izzy tried to frisk Ezekiel for charms.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Just like at church, only it's venting.)**

Katie - "Izzy drunk? I cannot imagine how much chaos will ensue."

Cody - \rubbing his stomach\ "Ohhhh... what could I have done to deserve all this? Please God, if this is karma, I'm sorry for stealing those batteries in the third grade!"

Tyler - "Eva's way too good at this; I foresee a great rivalry! If not, we can just best Heather."

* * *

"Okay campers, for this next challenge, you will pick your food item first, and _then_ you'll be given the name of your camper," Chris explained to them, his wicked grin getting more wicked and more grinning by the second. "And you might, you just might, be giving the food item to your teammate!"

"Might want to be cautious then," Katie said to her teammates. "Don't want to be the one disqualifying your teammate!"

"The letter for the food item is P," Chris added. "And remember! No poop, pee, or puke!"

The campers, all relieved that they wouldn't have to gather or eat those three body outputs, went out to find edible items that started with P. During the search, Ezekiel and Bridgette were outdoors at one point, looking around for natural items.

"I'm surprised to see you out here," Bridgette remarked with a smirk. "You hate the outdoors?"

"Well, so long as I doo'nt have to venture into the woods, eh," he replied, rustling through some bushes. "You're the environmentalist, is there any word for leaves that starts with P?"

"Chris said nothing vague, I don't know, and you're not on my team."

"Oh, right."

They continued to look around for a couple minutes, while Bridgette thought about something that had been bothering her for some time. Unable to find anything, and getting frustrated over it, she finally allowed her inner feelings to come out.

"Zeke," she said, "you're not... serious about Heather, are you?"

"What?" the prairie boy said, looking around at her.

"I mean, she's a horrible person," Bridgette explained herself. "She's meaner and more cruel than anyone I know. She's so hateful towards Gwen, she always insulting people..."

She let out a long sigh. "I'm not a vengeful person by any stretch, and I do believe in people getting second chances... but I really don't like her."

"I doo'nt either, so long as she's continuing to be mean."

"I am actually concerned about you, Zeke. My friend Bugsy, he was really interested in this girl who wasn't that nice. And in the end, she hurt him... really hurt him.

"I don't want that to happen to you. Heather could seriously hurt you too."

Ezekiel took a deep breath, staring down at the ground. "Well, I dunno, eh. You think I should avoid her completely?"

Before Bridgette could answer, he cried out in pain. Sucking his finger, he held a pine needle in his hand. "Fou' somffing we cou' usf, eh."

"You'll share?"

"What arf frienfs fur if not to helf them when they're on fe oppoosi' team, eh?"

She smiled, then accepted a handful of pine needles. Her smile disappeared as she remembered the topic beforehand. "Just, Zeke hon, don't go after her unless she changes. There are so many better girls in Canada, like some of my friends."

"I understand, eh," the prairie boy said. He almost froze when he thought over what she said. "Wait, are you offering to introduce me to your friends?"

"Mmmmmmaybe," she played out the word, her sly smirk back. "Have I told you that my friend Sabrina has a bit of a crush on you?" The blush that spread across his face made her giggle a whole lot.

* * *

Tyler looked at the peanut shells in his hand, at Heather's pepper, then at Eva's pumpkin pulp. "Where'd you find the pumpkin, Eva?" he asked.

"Found it in Chef's fridge."

"And let you take it?" Heather declared.

"You think he'd dare start something with me?" Eva replied, flexing her arm. Tyler grinned, and he exchanged a high-five; the red-clothed athlete winced and shook off the pain.

After all the campers had gathered back to their tables, Chef handed out the names to the campers. Eva and Tyler looked at their names, then each other, then gave their food items to each other.

With confident stares at each other, the two athletes stuffed the food into their mouths. Eva crunched on the peanut shells and Tyler slurped up the pumpkin pulp.

"You two are revolting," Heather grumbled as she ate some paper. She received some pumpkin pulp and peanut shells to the forehead, and the athletes exchanged another high five.

Courtney watched as Harold explained to Chef that he was very allergic to pears, which he had been served. After looking through a few papers in his hands, Chef grunted and threw the pear away.

"Oooooo," she strained, almost crushing the pepperoni she had in her hand, "it's really ticking me off, how he gets a pass so easily!"

"Yeah, and meanwhile, I got to eat pine needles," Duncan complained, also glaring at Harold. Noah looked up from his pie, shrugged, and continued to wolf it down.

"_Hehehe, sucks to be you two_," he thought, not daring to say it out loud.

Katie was also eating up pine needles, looking over at Bridgette with concern. The surfer girl was looking the prunes she had been served, looking as if she could see a very embarrassing event in the future.

"The things I do for this show," Bridgette grumbled. She slowly forced them into her mouth, one by one. Her attention was diverted when she saw Ezekiel panting and gasping for air.

"Look, Ethekiel, I'm sthorry," Beth shouted at her teammate, "but I didn't know a teammate would get my sthelection of pepper."

"Did... huhhhh... you... get... huhhhh!... the spiciest kind, eh?" Ezekiel panted, eyes watering and sweat running down his forehead.

"Pothibly. Sthorry!"

Once again, all the campers endured the round. Cody had it worst, since he had to swallow a large amount of peas, and he _hated_ peas.

"Cody, buddy," Chris said, patting the young brunette on the shoulder, "what'd you do to deserve torture, huh?"

Gwen made a loud scoffing noise, though she didn't look over. Cody sank in his seat more, muttering something about 'batteries.'

"Your next challenge, if you are all up for it," Chris announced, "will be completely random as well, even to your teammates. You will be serving them something... in a sandwich!"

"Spare me," Cody whimpered.

"C'mon, Cody buddy," Katie said, shaking his shoulder. "You gotta have faith you can do this."

Izzy stared at Katie comforting Cody, though her drunkenness was making the room behave rather silly.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - A rogue element.)**

Izzy - "Cody's been really nice to me throughout TDC, encouraging me when I was not anxious to do a challenge. And that says something for me, Izzy, the redhead of this show! I really wish he wasn't hurting so, he doesn't deserve it."

Gwen - \She looks quite mad.\ "Look, Cody may be feeling bad, but I'm not sympathizing for him. But I'm not going to heap on him; that's something Heather would do. He cannot possibly feel that bad, anyway."

Cody - \sobbing\ "I wish I were dead, I wish I were dead... waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

* * *

"The letter is C, now get to it," Chris instructed the campers.

C was actually far easier than most of the campers thought it would be, though Izzy tried to fit Cody into a sandwich, then Courtney.

"Stop it! Stop it, you crazy psycho," Courtney shouted, smacking Izzy with the cabbage she was holding.

After everyone had picked their C food item, they were given the name of their opponent. Beth winced as she gave Izzy a sandwich of cat food.

"Where'd you get the cat food?" Gwen asked as she watched Izzy start to nibble at the sandwich.

"Chef keepsth a lot of sthtuff in histh kitchen," Beth said, leaving it at that.

The redhead started to chow down, still giggling like a happy drunk. Disgust started to spread across her face, and her stomach grumbled unfriendly.

Ezekiel was quite enjoying his chocolate sauce sandwich when he saw Izzy's face contorted. "You doing okay, Izzy?"

And then she threw up. All over him. Ezekiel was lucky to get his sandwich out of the splash, but he himself was coated all down his front.

"Wow," Chris said, "Izzy's the first one out-"

Katie gagged hard, spitting out some of her sandwich. "I'm sorry," she whimpered to her teammates, "but I cannot eat cauliflower... sorry!"

"And Katie's out too!"

Tyler and Eva stared each other down as they gobbled down their sandwiches of chicken nuggets and crushed ice. Harold received another pass when he found cocoanut in his sandwich. Beth felt especially guilty as she ate her chocolate chip sandwich.

"Playing cards?" Duncan asked aloud, looking at his sandwich. "Interesting choice, but no more strip poker."

"Thank goodness," Courtney muttered as she ate her cottage cheese sandwich.

In the end, only Izzy and Katie were disqualified, though Ezekiel came close to gagging. His teammates had to back away from him, and Izzy lolled in her chair, babbling incoherently.

"Now, this next one will be the letter S," Chris announced. "Just pick something out, and it will be given to a random opponent! Oh, and Izzy and Katie? You two still have to pick one out.

"Heather and Noah, you two will sit out on the gathering section. Now you campers, two people have puked and heaved, who's next?"

The campers headed out again, leaving the queen bee and the know-it-all alone. Noah pulled out his book and started reading, and Heather pulled out her nail file.

"Stupid contest," Heather muttered to herself. "Our opponents could poison us with all kinds of filth."

"You complain too much, you know that?" Noah remarked, not looking up from his book. "Why'd you join Total Drama Island if you hate the concept so much?"

"I came to win, that's why," she snarled at him. "The whole point of shows like this are for becoming celebrities, no other reason."

"Meh," Noah replied. "Never thought I'd be saying this, but there have been greater things to happen on this show for others besides winning."

"Oh, like getting a girlfriend, maybe?" Heather said, quirking an eyebrow. "How long will your little relationship with Katie last when she's back with her squealing, plus-sized friend?"

That was a barbed remark that dug deeper into Noah than he thought it would. He took a deep breath, then decided to throw one back. "And how long do you think you can deny you like Ezekiel?"

Heather bristled. "That is getting so trite, you know that? I don't like him, pure and simple. You all only say that to get my goat, but it won't work anymore."

"Yeah, right, you deny it like a guilty defendant who has a mountain of evidence against her," the egghead retorted, a sly smirk spreading across his face. "It just wouldn't fit your sly, conniving, rich girl image if you admitted you are infatuated with the simple, honest, poor boy from the prairies."

He let out a long, fake swoon. "Oh, the classic love story! It makes me want to squeal in joy, that love can overcome any boundaries!"

Heather snapped her nail file in half as she clenched it in her hand. Her face was red and hot, and she threw the halves of her nail file at him. "You are almost as annoying as Gwen, you know that?" she shot at him. "I preferred you when you were a lazy, do-nothing creep! And you know what..."

Bridgette walked into the room holding a soda in her hand. Before she could sit down, Heather yelled at Noah, "I hope Ezekiel falls off a cliff, that stinking, puny, tacky, redn-"

The surfer girl opened up her soda can, and poured half of it on Heather. "Cool off," she remarked before heading back to her table. Heather, wet and sticky now, seethed in fury.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's like death at night! We're not sure how, though.)**

Heather - "I'll get that blond bimbo if it's the last thing I'll do! Her team is going to lose, and I'll make personal sure of that!"

Beth - \looking ashamed\ "I managed to kick off one of our teammates! I'd better make we win, or I'm gonna be voted off!"

Courtney - "Do you know how difficult it is to find something that Harold might not be allergic to? This is getting _so_ frustrating!"

Duncan - "Courtney may be uptight, but that's merely because Harold's still here. Harold buddy, nothing personal, it's just that I gotta get you voted off so Courtney will lighten up."

* * *

Izzy wandered on the beach, wobbling like a sapling in a windstorm. She jumped into the ocean, washing off the vomit. She cheered wildly, praising Neptune and Poseidon and a few other ocean gods that didn't exist because she made them up right then.

After washing back on the shore, she tripped over something hard and smooth. The redhead picked herself up, then noticed what it was: a glass bottle.

"Ooo, I love thish drink," she said with a cheer. Opening it up, she tried to slam it, but what came out was a piece of paper. "Meh? What's thish, a treashure map?" She read it out loud, including the last part:

"_To Bridgette, Harold, Katie, and Tyler,_

_We mish you at the Playa desh Losersh. Though we shend these... hic!... meshages to tell you about the conshpiracy going on, we just wanted to remind you we shtill love you and think about you every day._

_Go and win the whole thing!_

_From,_

_Geoff, Leshawna, Shadie, and Lindshay._"

Izzy stared at the letter, reading it again silently. Then it all clicked.

"Oh, Heather, Duncan, and Courtney are allied to eliminate Harold and all hish friendsh," she declared. "I knew that."

She stuff the note in her pocket, grabbed a handful of sand for the contest, and walked back to the cafeteria.

* * *

Ezekiel was done explaining how the competition worked. "Tensions started rising after Katie and Izzy were eliminated, eh. It was after the S round that things really got ugly."

Leshawna nodded, glancing at him as she watched Harold. Tyler then came into the medical tent, looking exhausted.

"Hey... Leshawna?" he asked, looking startled. "What are you doing here?"

"I hijacked the Boat of Losers, Tyler man."

"Any idea yet on who did it, with what maybe?"

"I think I know what exactly."

He held a little bag in his hand. "Someone put this in every bowl of soup, I think they were aiming to make sure Harold got it."

"Harold told me he was terribly allergic to these. Worse than terrible, even," Leshawna said as she took the small bag in her hands.

Ezekiel took all this in, still trying desperately to keep awake. "Any idea who did it, then?" he asked his friend.

"I actually have an idea," Tyler said, looking proud of himself. "I actually noticed what everyone had in their hands, since I was watching the line to make sure I didn't get what they all did."

He showed them a little list he made. "From memory, I know what each camper gave what. But there were four people whom I couldn't see their food item; they were hiding it from me, I think."

"Who were they?" Leshawna asked, looking desperate. The lanky athlete looked over his list one more time.

"Duncan, Heather, Courtney, or Beth."

* * *

**(Earlier that day, in the Confession Cam...)**

Duncan - "Harold has got to go."

Heather - "Bridgette's team is going down, no matter what."

Courtney - "I'm so sick of being so frustrated, I want Harold to go."

Beth - "I have to win thisth! I couldn't forgive mythelf if my team lost because of me!"

* * *

**What was it that Harold is so dangerously allergic to? And who did it: the criminal, the queen bee, the CIT, or the wannabe? You might find out in PART 2!**

--

--

--

If you're concerned this may get too serious and dramatic, don't worry. I like my comedy and happy endings. Teehee, teehee.

**Mystery Meat** - Harold, Bridgette, Katie, Cody

**Chopped Liver** - Ezekiel, Gwen, Izzy, Beth

**Chef's Surprise** - Courtney, Duncan, Noah

**Catch of the Day** - Tyler, Heather, Eva


	28. Day 9, Part 2: The Wind Up

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. In case of a sudden drop in pressure in the fanfiction, oxygen masks will deploy.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**janey1097** - I love long reviews, so do not worry. Keep up the long reviews, woo!

**YodaClone 13** - \writes down "Terror - 1, Joy - 0" in his notebook\

**Invisi-Pen** - \writes down "Terror - 1, Joy - 1" in his notebook\

**melancolie** - Although the situation and campers will react as if it's life or death, I'll spoil you all and say that Harold is _not_ going to die. Do not worry.

**ironbloodaika** - Noah and Katie has been dabbled in some fanart and fanfiction I've seen. But I think they'd be a cute couple because of the old opposites attract clause: Noah is pessimistic, quiet, cynical, and reserved, while Katie is optimistic, loud, friendly, and outgoing.

**UnderxGravity** - It really wouldn't be a pairing if Heather used him, now would it? \wink wink, grin grin\

**alienphantom** - Chris may sprout horns and a tail, but I cannot see the other things happening. Thank you for using the Confession Cam, I'll have to remember that.

**Nova48** - You'll have to wait and see, but trust me, the guilty party didn't realize how serious Harold's allergy was. And here's the update, please do not die from anticipation!

**Imagi** - I love how you always have a lot to say, it's so cool. And people, how disgusting are bras to eat? I've never eaten one before. \chuckles, rubbing the back of his head\

**Tall T** - Harold's not dying. And from the original show, I don't see Heather paired with anyone unless she seriously changed, hehe. Hope you got my PM, I opened up mine.

**QJD1381** - \dramatically\ Then who was it? Muahaha!

**ThekidVince** - Wow, you read a lot for one day, I'm impressed. I'm sorry you had to see your favorite character DJ go, but sadly, it's how the story was planned; 19 campers are going to be voted off before the final challenge. And I'll say this for you and all those with favorites voted off: you will see a lot more of the voted off campers than the original show had.

**noahjean** - Thank you, but my own novel has no publish date yet; it's not even fully written yet. I am shamed.

**animegirl1807** - Courtney's reason for hatred at Harold stems from something other than the contest, and you'll find out soon. And she will not be shunned or hated once all is said and done (and neither will Duncan, for all those concerned).

**NickTheUltimaswordWielder** - Ezekiel will have to chisel away at that block of meanness that is Heather, but he has a fine chisel. \wink wink, grin grin\

**To Everybody** - Boy, that was a _lot_ of replies to replies, now wasn't it? I repeat, Harold _is not_ going to die.

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 28 (Day 09, Part 2)** - The Wild 'n Crazy Calm Before the Storm

* * *

Ezekiel was munching on some sticks, chewing carefully not splinter them. "I guess this isn't so bad, eh," he said to his teammates. Gwen was licking up sugar, and Beth was lapping up soda, so the two silently agreed. "Izzy, you okay?"

The redhead was wobbling in her seat, rubbing at the pocket of her long skirt. She looked at Ezekiel, unsteady, then threw up on him.

"Awww, not a'geen, Izzy," the prairie boy shouted, backing away.

"Shorry, but you shmell like puke."

"That's your puke, eh!" Chris cackled, applauding at the grossness that had followed. He looked around at the others. Tyler and Eva were staring each other down as they hurriedly ate their food (Tyler's a sock, and Eva's soot). Duncan, wincing something awful, had to lick up saliva. Bridgette was looking really sick as she licked up dry salt.

"You all passed the S round, it would seem," Chris declared. "Now... uurrrf..."

He clapped his hand over his mouth, wincing and backing away from Ezekiel. "Urrp... Zeke... dude, you have my permission. Go shower, please!"

The prairie boy shrugged, then headed off to the communal washrooms. The host waited until he was gone, then turned back to the other campers. "Okay, we're going to be a bit harsher now! You all are going to be forced to _drink_ your next serving!

"Everyone, minus Ezekiel and... Harold, you must go gather a food item, then use the blenders in the kitchen; we got several set up, so you don't have to fight. Pour a glass for your opponent, who's name you'll receive now!"

Chef handed out some slips of paper, grumbling, "Don't break my blenders, you little snot-nosed punks."

"Will not won't do, sir," Duncan said to the large cook, grinning wickedly. The confused man chose to ignore the criminal.

"Your letter is F, people," Chris cried out, "so get out there and get those f'ing ingredients!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do I smell bacon?)**

Gwen - "That was highly inappropriate."

* * *

Ezekiel, still clothed, let the shower rinse him off. He was still trying not to throw up, because the smell of Izzy's vomit was lingering.

"What does that girl eat, eh?" he whimpered to himself. "I stink somethin' awful!"

Someone knocked on his stall, and he opened it. Tyler stood there, holding a fingernail clipper and a hopeful look on his face.

"Can I ask you to contribute to the fingernail frappichino?" he asked.

"Ewwww, dude," Ezekiel crooned, holding his hands out. "Go a'heed, while they're soft and ready for clipping, eh."

Owen peeked in the stall, grinning and waving at Ezekiel. "I've been helping him collect," he said, proud.

"His clunked when they fell in the jar," Tyler remarked, "and they had several different types of grime."

* * *

The campers puréed their ingredients, and then poured them in cups. Those who didn't have enough of the ingredients used water, "filter water" according to Chris. Noah had rolled his eyes at this.

Harold looked at his puréed feather drink, then bravely swallowed it. Gagging, he turned to his teammates, a confident smile on his face.

It was wasted. Bridgette's heaved out her fish stick purée drink, gagging and coughing. Cody took one swallow of his fried chicken frappichino, and spat it out. Harold was now the last one standing on the Mystery Meat team.

They weren't the only ones. Heather took one look at her blended fish, and refused to drink it; Tyler and Eva glared at her, as she had blown their one pass. Noah tried to drink the blended fingernail frappichino Tyler had made, but his gag reflex kicked in and he heaved out.

Gwen was starting to drink her french fry purée, but the taste became too much. She puked it out, getting it partially down her front. Katie looked relieved, since her team was down to one member.

"Hooray, they're also losing," she said to her teammates. "The french fry one was yours, right Cody?"

She regretted saying that immediately. Gwen, slumped over and stained with vomit, looked over at Cody with hateful eyes. The tech-geek shuddered and looked away, wringing his hands. Katie stammered as she tried to find some way to make up for it, but couldn't think of it.

Chris watched the campers, grinning as he heard some of them moan in pain. "It's delightful to see the grossness return! I guess this means-"

He was hit in the side of the face with a hard gob of spit. The host, disgusted, wiped it off his face; Tyler gave Eva an approving thumbs-up as she tried to hide her grin.

"Now then," the host continued, his sadistic grin lost, "this means Bridgette, Cody, and Gwen are out. And both Chef's Surprise and Catch of the Day have no more free passes!

"Now we shall make pizza for all you happy campers! You will get your opponents' name, then go put your ingredient on a pizza slice! Your letter is W! Cody, since you managed to eliminate a contestant, you can go again with the ingredient."

"Figures," Gwen spat out, livid. "He sure is good at making girls puke."

Cody hurried out of the cafeteria, trying not to let any of the contestants see how hurt he was. Beth tried to once again talk to Gwen, but the goth girl was more concerned about mopping the vomit off her front.

"You're being so mean to him, Gwen," Beth declared. "How could you? It'sth not like you!"

"He's been lying to me since this season started, he planned having my boyfriend voted off," the goth girl said as she wiped herself off, "and now I'm puked all over myself because of him."

"But none of that was histh fault," Beth said, though rather feeble. Gwen gave her an unsteady glare, then went back to cleaning herself up.

* * *

Cody's heart was obviously not in the contest anymore; he had poured water on his pizza slice, which just made it soggy. Harold had no problem eating it.

Noah tried to eat his, but from heaving earlier and his loathing of watermelon, he couldn't finish it. "Sorry, guys," he said to his partners. Courtney looked disappointed, while Duncan looked sympathetic.

Tyler and Eva had received wood chips and wood shavings, and the two stared each other down as they ate it. Heather looked at her pizza slice, which was neatly wrapped in wrapping paper.

"Beth, how much time did you spend on this pathetic attempt to make me gag?" the queen bee asked the farm girl.

"You're justht jealousth becausth I got thisth," Beth said, holding up her white chocolate pizza.

Ezekiel forced down the weeds-covered pizza. Duncan barely noticed the whiskers when he ate his slice, but he dreaded to know where they came from. Courtney didn't mind the walnuts, but she was looking at Harold with determination.

"Looks like Noah is out, and we're still struggling to keep this revolting contest going," Chris announced. "How are you feeling?"

"Gimme more," Tyler roared.

"I could go at this all day," Eva cheered.

"For the love of all that's good and holy, you two," Courtney shouted, "don't encourage him!!"

"Now it's time for a platter," Chris announced. "Discuss with your teammates what you want your opponents to eat! The still-enduring contestants on the teams must eat, but they may share."

"Your platter's choice must be beginning with I, J, or O. Try your best!"

"Man," Duncan grumbled, looking over at Owen. "I wish you were still in this contest right now, big guy."

"Me too, this stuff looks delicious," the large teen replied.

"That's... not exactly why I wanted you, but whatever floats your boat."

The teams talked amongst themselves. Izzy's suggestion of herself, sacrificing one of her limbs or more for the betterment of her team, was quickly turned down.

Mystery Meat's platter was a lot of ice, smashed into pieces for easier eating. Duncan and Courtney managed to eat of all of it, but suffered brain freeze. Noah seriously hoped it would cool them down, but Duncan suggested keeping warm. Soon, he and Courtney were making out.

"Stop that, you two bags of hormone," he shouted at them from over the top of his book. "This is so going to be censored when they air the show in America, you know that?"

Catch of the Day's platter was oranges, including the peels. Harold wasn't allergic, and he managed to eat the entire platter; by the time he was done, his face was stained with orange juice and rind remains.

"That's our Harold," Katie exclaimed with a cheer. "He always manages to come through when it's down to him!" Bridgette massaged his shoulders and Cody waved a fan at him.

Chef's Surprise was olives. Beth looked horrified, starting to turn pale as she looked at them.

"No no no," she whimpered. "I can't do thisth... I hate olives with all my heart and sthoul..."

"Well, you will be disqualified unless Ezekiel can eat them all," Chris informed her.

"I can try, eh," he said as he grabbed a handful. He started chewing, swallowing, downing the entire platter. Even Chris managed to applaud after he was finished.

"Not bad, Zeke man, not bad," he said. "I hate olives a whole lot too."

"Urrrrp...," the prairie boy belched, looking quite green now, "I hate them too..."

He fainted, olive oily drool spilling from his mouth. Beth cocked his head to the side so he could breathe. "Doesth thisth mean we're both out?" the farm girl asked the host.

"No, just the Zeke man. Boy, I sure wouldn't want to be him right now."

Chopped Liver's platter was actually as sadistic as Izzy could get: jalapenos. Heather, Eva, and Tyler exchanged terrified looks as a plateful of jalapenos was placed in front of them. The ravenhair queen bee tossed a lock behind her head and scoffed.

"If you think I'll eat one of those," she said, glaring at the peppers, "you're crazy."

Eva and Tyler exchanged looks. Invisible sparks shot, deaf war cries erupted, and an motionless tremor as the world shook from the two most determined athletes in the world.

"For Lindsay," Tyler roared.

"For victory," Eva shrieked.

The two grabbed handfuls of jalapenos, and started cramming them into their mouths. Water streamed from their eyes in seconds, their faces became red, sweat ran down their foreheads, but still they continued to shove spicy servings of severely sense-sunderings.

Everyone starred as the two were finished. Some (like Izzy and Owen) were sure the two would erupt like volcanos, but the two continued to stare at each other with bright red, sweaty, tearstained faces.

The staring continued for a couple more seconds until Eva let out a bloodcurdling scream. Running to the kitchen, she grabbed a two-gallon water jug and started pouring it down her throat.

"Guess this means Eva is disqualified," Chris said, staring at Tyler. "You're next, no doubt about that."

Tyler's face turned a darker shade of red. He started shaking, tears streamed down from his eyes, and he held a hand to his throat. Chris leaned in and started to say, "The water is over there, once Eva is done chugging it dow-"

Tyler belched, so thick it was a spicy, green cloud. It hit Chris like a matterless punching glove, to all his senses. The host's eyes watered, his face turned red, and snot ran from his nose. Holding a hand up to the camera so no one could see his unhandsome moment, the host bolted to the kitchen, and tried to wrestle the water away from Eva.

"You managed to make pretty boy cry," Chef declared, slapping Tyler on the back. "How the hell can you stand that many jalapenos?"

"I eat spicy foods for breakfast," Tyler bragged. When he realized how silly that sounded, he added, "I have a knack for eating the spiciest foods, get it from my dad."

"Well, I have to say, I'm pretty damn impressed," the large cook remarked, patting the athlete's shoulder. "But now it's time for you maggots to get serious!

"With Chris injured in the field of duty, it comes to me to give you all your next assignment: soup!"

" 'Soup'?" Courtney repeated, sounding disgusted.

"Yes, maggots," Chef barked, slamming his fist on her table. "Soup! You are going to find a good ingredient, add it into soup, then it will be given to a random opponent! It'll be to your enemy, I assure you, so make sure it's harsh!

"And no trying to play on peoples' allergies," he continued, waving a sheet of papers in his hand. "I got all of your allergies listed here, and-"

A gust of wind from the window blew the papers from his hand, and they flew right outside the other window. With a scream, Chef went outside to retrieve them, only to see Groucho the Duck had gathered them up and scurried off into the bushes.

"Daaaaaamn yoooooou, duck booooooys," Chef yelled.

When the furious cook walked back into the house, Noah raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, I may not be eating," he said to Chef Hatchet, "but what about the people who still are in that have allergies?"

"I have it all memorized, straw pole," Chef barked at him.

"Neanderthal," Noah replied.

"Bean sprout!"

"Mutated gnoll!"

"Scarecrow!"

"Disfigured ogre!"

"Why you...," the cook sputtered, clenching his fists. "Forget it! Now, your ingredient letter is G! If your ingredient is too thick for soup, blend it up, pour it into the soup, then stir it up! Get going, you geeks!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do I smell sticky buns?)**

Beth - "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I fed Iththy the food that made her throw up, I had Ethekiel eat the olivesth, I _have_ to do this! I have to find sthomething that will make people sthick!"

Heather - "So, Tyler thinks he's a big man because he can cram jalapenos into his mouth like that? ... Well, actually, it is rather impressive, but still! He cannot take much more, so I'm gonna make my loser opponents' spew!"

Courtney - "I cannot lose this! Duncan has given so much effort into this, and I don't want those other people to win! Especially... well, you know."

Duncan - "It's time to play dirty!" \He punches his palm.\ "I'm gonna make those fools puke their guts out so hard, their internal organs will come out through their mouth! Haha... ewww, that's kinda gross to think about, actually."

Groucho the Duck - \He is holding some papers in his hand, quacking with English subtitles.\ "What the hell? These aren't the secret plans of the communist uprising I was informed about! And who's allergic to toads, how do you find that stuff out?"

* * *

**(Plot Point, marked for your ease.)**

The six campers went out, looking for edible stuff that began with G. One of them, while searching the bushes, found a sheet of paper. Reading it over, it was a list of Harold's terrible allergies.

A grin spread across the face of the finder of the paper. "Perfect. Oh wait... Chef will have remembered them. Wait, what if he forgot one or two?"

Chef was busily scribbling down a list. "Apples, pears, cocoanut, spinach... wait, there was one, a really big one..."

He tapped his lip with a pencil. "Something big, too. Was listed on the gray line, which meant important. Think it was... gum? Slugs? Gum and slugs."

He grumbled as he wrote that down on the paper. "Gum and slugs, Harold? How do you find out you're allergic to that kind of stuff, huh?"

The camper who found the sheet of paper went over to Chef Hatchet, and asked to see Harold's allergy sheet. Realizing Chef had missed a specific one, the camper headed out with a joyous grin.

"I'm going to win for certain now," the camper said with a cheer.

* * *

**(And action.)**

"Okay, maggots," Chef shouted, clapping his hands. "It's time to eat soup! Now EAT SOUP!!"

Tyler slurped at his soup, working hard to swallow the gravel. Duncan wasn't sure what his was, but it was fairly sweet. Heather managed to drink up her soup despite the strange taste, while Courtney drank up some very greasy soup.

The CIT eventually couldn't take it, and spat it out. "I can't do it," she whimpered, as Duncan rubbed her back. "It's so disgusting!"

Just then, Beth started hacking, sputtering, and eventually threw up what she had managed to drink. "I cannot do it," she sobbed, collapsing on her table. "I'm sthorry... tho sthorry, but garlic... ugggggh..."

Chef stared at them, then over at Harold, who was slowly finishing up his soup. "Well, Courtney and Beth are out," he growled. "Guess that means Chopped Liver is over. We'll have to see who goes next..."

A horrible, shuddering gasp interrupted the large cook. Harold began to convulse, gasped for air, then he fell out of his chair, knocking his bowl of soup off the table.

"Can't take it, huh Four Eyes?" Chef muttered. "Okay then, since Harold is out-"

"Harold?" Bridgette said, watching her teammate convulse on the floor. "Harold?! HAROLD!!"

The brunette nerd wheezed, barely getting any air. He twitched, shaking horribly, sweating. His eyes began to glaze over, and his breathing became so shallow it was almost inaudible.

"Oh God, Harold," Bridgette screamed, diving to his friend. "He's having an attack! Oh God no!"

The other campers watched in horror, Chef cringing up in disgust. "Ewww, I hate sick people," he muttered.

"But you're the medic here," Noah declared. "Have you got anything for allergic reactions?"

"They got stuff for that?"

"Harold," Bridgette shouted, holding his hand. "Stay with it! Keep breathing!"

The brunette nerd's shallow breathing was terribly thin. Bridgette, remembering back to her first-aid, stuck her finger down his throat. After puking hard, the nerd's breathing deepened and became more steady; however, he was still twitching and very pale.

"Sthomeone call 911," Beth screamed.

"Oh, I got a cell phone," Chef Hatchet said, taking one out of his pocket. "What was that number again?"

"Dear God, it's an allergic reaction of the worst kind," Noah yelled. "Chef, get the mumarney!"

"The wha-da-wha?"

"Oh for the love of... I'll get some of mine!"

As Noah bolted out of the cafeteria, Bridgette was attempting to hold Harold to keep him from thrashing around. His legs stopped moving very suddenly, and his breathing became shallow again. She continued to talk to him, holding his hand and tell him Noah would be back soon.

Sure enough, the bookworm was back within seconds, holding a bottle of mumarney and a hypodermic. Chef screamed when he saw the needle, and fainted dead away.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?" Katie asked.

"I can do it to myself if I ever get a serious allergy reaction," the bookworm explained. He injected the mumarney into Harold's vein, and the brunette nerd stopped convulsing, but his breathing was still shallow.

"We got to get him to the medical tent," Bridgette exclaimed. "They have an oxygen tank there, I know it."

Chris, wiping his mouth and looking winded, came into the room, nodding at the surfer's words. "Yeah, they got one. Better hurry."

"Owen, Zeke, get a stretcher quick," the surfer asked the boys, who nodded and ran off.

"Better get Chef Hatchet one too," Eva called out to them. "He's fainted dead away!" "And drooling," Chris remarked.

"Harold'sth dying," Beth shouted, "and all you can talk about ith Chef'sth drooling problem? Jeezth!"

The farm girl ran over to Harold, wiping his sweat-coated brow. The nerd's eyes were glazed over, staring up at the ceiling.

* * *

**(Current time, Day 09.)**

"After that, we carried Harold over here," Ezekiel told Leshawna, "and Chef as well, eh. After the big man recovered, he said he would watch over Harold."

"And I would," Chef said, upon entering the tent. "Zeke man, I'm gonna need you, Tyler and Bridgette to go, got that? Cannot have too many people in here."

"Yes sir, Chef Doc," the prairie boy replied. He went to go rouse Bridgette, who slowly got up and headed out the tent with her friend, almost leaning on him in her groggy state.

"Can I stay?" Leshawna asked Chef, trying not to look at him for he was dressed in his tight, white, nurse maid outfit again.

"Sure, Leshawna, but don't ask me any questions," Chef said, listening to Harold's heartbeat with a stethoscope. "I know about as little as you do, except that it was-"

* * *

" 'Gummi slugs'?" Gwen read the bag's logo aloud, after taking it from Tyler.

"Yeah, that's what caused Harold's allergy reaction," the red-clad athlete explained to the other campers. The thirteen campers had gathered up outside the café, where Tyler was explaining the issue at hand.

"How do you know that?" Katie asked.

"Chris was on the line with Harold's doctor before we got chased 'oot of the medical tent, eh," Ezekiel told them. "Apparently, gummi slugs are the moo'st deadly of all the allergies to Harold."

"So what we need to do is find out who of the six of the remaining contestants used gummi slugs," Noah spoke out loud, "to make sure this would happen to Harold..."

His glance looked over at Courtney and Duncan, who were standing next to each other. "You two were among the six, now weren't you?"

"And doo'nt deny you two had every reason to do this to Harold, eh," Ezekiel snapped, his hands on his hips. "Especially you, Courtney!"

"Hey wait a minute," the CIT shouted. "You cannot point the finger at me just because I hate Harold! What about Tyler? Or Heather?"

Gwen glared from Courtney to Heather. "Sounds like something you would do," the goth girl hissed at her rival. "Feeding someone their worst allergy to defeat them."

"Oh please, how could I know what that greasy nerd was really allergic to?" she scoffed.

"I didn't do it," Tyler protested.

"That only leaves... well, Harold, which is out of the question," Bridgette said, counting on her fingers. "And the sixth person would be Beth. ... Beth?"

The farm girl had run away from the group, tears streaming from her eyes. Something fell from her pocket as she ran. "Beth! Beth, come back," Cody called out to her, but she was gone. He realized she had dropped something, and picked it up: it was an empty bag of gummi slugs.

As he stared at it in disbelief, Eva snatched it from his hands. "So, our little back stabber is Beth, huh?"

"She did it?" Katie gasped, holding her hands up to her mouth in disbelief.

"No... no, she wouldn't do that," Cody protested. "Beth wouldn't feed Harold something he was really allergic to-"

"Save it, you wannabe ladies' man," the fitness buff shouted, shoving Cody away from her. "She's obviously the one who did this to Harold. Look at how she ran away."

"Wait, we're not sure it was her, just because of gummi slugs," the tech-geek protested, waving his arms.

Pleading to the others, he saw that most looked disbelieving. "Look, is it possible someone else did gummi slugs?" Heather, Tyler, Duncan, and Courtney shook their heads. "But... this isn't right!"

"You don't need to defend her, Cody," Heather said, shaking her head. "It's pretty obvious she put the gummi slugs in the soup."

"Well, it doesn't seem like something Beth would do, eh," Ezekiel said aloud. "I mean, put gummi slugs in all the soup bowls? That's rather cruel, eh."

"Maybe there's a mean side to her we didn't know," Duncan replied with a shrug. "But whatever. Hey Bridge, how was Harold when you checked on him?"

"He's holding in, but," Bridgette said with a sigh, "I really cannot say how he'll be in the long run."

"Terrible shame," Heather said with a cruel smirk. Strutting off to the communal washrooms, she gave her fellow campers a condescending wave good-bye.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do I smell turkey?)**

Ezekiel - "This is spiraling out of control, eh. I'd better find 'oot what's been going on before moo'r people get hurt."

Cody - "Beth couldn't have done it, it's not in her!"

* * *

"Come on, you have to believe me," Cody appealed to Gwen and Izzy. The redhead was dangling on Gwen, still swaying and hiccuping. "Beth couldn't have done this."

"Cody, knock it off already," Gwen snapped at him. "Beth is the culprit. She was really desperate to win, and I would know, she was on my team."

"But you know her, Gwen," the tech-geek continued. "You cannot vote her off! She-"

"Look, you little twerp," the goth girl shouted, storming over to Cody; her movements were slow, because Izzy was still holding onto her. "If there was anyone I would for, it would be _you_! But I am not this time around."

Cody's face, already falling from her remarks, managed to whisper, "Why?"

"Because Harold needs to be voted off," she said, looking upset as she tried to help balance out Izzy. "He's in horrible shape now, and I'm not letting him stay on this damn island where Chris can torture him.

"And if there's one decent cell in your scrawny body, you'll vote for him too out of compassion. Now come on, Izzy!"

The redhead giggled as she clung to Gwen as the goth girl led them away from Cody. "You sure gave him the for-what, Gweneth."

"Don't call me that."

"Can I call you Owen? I mish him, he'sh rushing all over the island, trying to get medical shuppliesh for Harold."

"No."

"Can you tell me if you and Trent-"

"NO!"

Cody just stood there, wringing his hands and staring at the ground. He desperately tried not to cry, but he couldn't stop the tears.

* * *

"You doing okay, Harold?"

"Fine, I guess. This cot is a little uncomfortable, but I'll manage." Bridgette chuckled, managing a weak smile. She stared at her friend, who was still pale and weak looking. "You've also got Leshawna looking over you, that's comfy."

"You know it, surfer chick," the plus-sized sister said; she was still holding Harold's hand. "Harold's not about to let an allergic reaction get the best of him."

Chef, who was looking through some papers (which were, scary enough, How To guides on medicine), let out a loud scoff. "Even if Four Eyes never walks again?"

"Quit being so insensitive," Bridgette snapped at the large man. She froze, then looked over at Harold. "Wait, is that true?"

"Almost happened the first time I hate gummi slugs," he croaked, managing to shrug. "I walked out of that hospital about two weeks later."

Bridgette started to tear up, but Harold patted her knee with his free hand. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. It's not as bad as the time I nearly had to have my toe amputated."

"You merely stubbed it, sweetie-pie," Leshawna said.

"Well, it was a really bad stub...," he whined, then managed to chuckle.

Chris, who had been watching them, cleared his throat. "Bridge," he said, "I'm sorry to do this, but you gotta ask him what you came in for, then you gotta go so Chef can continue... whatever he was doing."

The blond surfer nodded, then looked over at Harold. "We need to ask you who you'll be voting for tonight so we can add it to the vote total. The people available are you, me, Katie, Cody, Zeke, Gwen, Izzy, and Beth."

"I'll do it myself," Harold said, sounding firm.

"But... how?"

"I'll get a wheelchair and cast my own vote," he said. "I won't let this stupid allergic reaction cripple me that much."

"Are you sure, hon?" Leshawna asked, looking very concerned. "You need rest."

"I'll be able to do it tonight, don't worry."

Bridgette managed to nod, still trying not to cry. She bid Leshawna, Harold, and Chris good-bye before heading out. Chris took her seat, looking at Leshawna.

"It's cool you're watching over Harold and all," the host said to her, "but I gotta ask you, no telling anyone, not even Harold here, what you learned while watching the show."

"I don't know who did this to him," the large sister replied, "but when I do, that person is gonna get some gummi _slugs_ of my own."

"No, not that, all the stuff that's happened beforehand," Chris said. "I'm grateful you haven't told anyone yet, but it's important they don't get 'outsider' information."

She sighed, then shrugged. "Fine, whatever. I only care that Harold gets better."

Chris nodded, then smiled down at Harold. "You're a lucky man, Harold."

Leshawna quirked an eyebrow at the host, while the nerd smiled and nodded.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do I smell toast?)**

Leshawna - "Chris is one strange man. He's insensitive all the time, even when he's being nice."

Bridgette - \wiping her eyes\ "Harold's such a good guy... he doesn't deserve this! Why would someone do this to him? Beth... did she really do it?"

* * *

Bridgette entered the cafeteria, expecting it to be empty; however, Ezekiel was there, slurping at one of the bowls of soup.

"Zeke? What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure 'oot what everyone had, eh," he explained. "None of them are telling me, so I've got to find 'oot."

"You think Beth is innocent?" the blond surfer asked.

"Doo'nt you?"

Bridgette looked down at the floor, thinking hard how to answer. "Ummm, I don't know, I'm sorry. But even if you find a bowl of pure gummi slugs, it won't prove Beth didn't put puréed gummi slugs in all of them."

Ezekiel froze when he realized this, then slumped on the table. "I didn't think a'boot that, eh," he whimpered into his arms. She walked over and rubbed his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"I like Beth too," she admitted. "She's very friendly, she's nice to people. I cannot imagine her doing this to Harold, just to win."

Ezekiel nodded in his arms. "Who do you think did it then, eh?"

"My best guess would be Heather or Duncan," she said, sitting down next to him. "They're both mean enough to do this to Harold."

"What a'boot...," he started, then stopped. "No, never mind."

"What? What were you going to say?"

"... Courtney?"

Bridgette gasped at this. "What? Courtney? No! She..."

"She had the biggest motive of anyone, Bridge."

"Well, yes, but...," the surfer girl wrung her hands, "I... she's my friend. And I don't think she would do this. She... she couldn't."

The door to the cafeteria swung open, and Heather stood there. "What are you two doing here?" she asked them, looking annoyed. "Playing Sherlock Holmes?"

Bridgette scowled at the ravenhair, then excused herself. Before walking out of the building, she said something to Ezekiel that the queen bee couldn't hear. She was annoyed by this, Heather felt that all information must be known to her.

"Are you two seeing each other?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Riding the surf girl while the party boy is away?"

Ezekiel snapped, his frustration and worry finally going over the brim. He stormed over to Heather and grabbed her shoulders. Eva saw all this through the window.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do I smell trouble?)**

Eva - "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! He's going to kill her this time! Woohoo, what we've all been waiting for! To all those that what prairie boy to squish the queen bee, give a shout! Woo!

* * *

Heather winced as Ezekiel stared into her eyes, unnerving her. "Get your hands off me, or I'll scream," the queen bee hissed, though uneven.

"Not until," the toque-wearing boy replied, "you tell me the truth, eh. I want you to look me in the eye, and I want to knoo' the truth, eh

"Did you do this to Harold?"

"What, are you kidding me?" Heather snapped at him. "I don't think I have to tell you-"

"Tell me," he shouted, pushing her against the wall. "I'm sick of this attitude, especially during times like this! Harold may be damaged for life because of this, so tell me right now, Heather! Did you do this, eh?"

Heather, now completely unnerved, looked around with her mouth gaping. She finally locked eyes with Ezekiel, and muttered, "No. No, I didn't do this. I didn't put gummi slugs in any of the soup bowls."

Ezekiel, after staring into her eyes, smiled. "Okay then, eh." He patted her shoulder, then left the cafeteria.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do I smell something burning?)**

Heather - \rubbing her shoulder where Ezekiel touched her\ "I don't get that guy. How could someone be so... so... honest?"

Eva - \She roars in fury.\ "He didn't kill her! Again! What the hell is wrong with him, huh? They looked closer to kissing than kicking! Errrrrg... think about the ratings, Zeke man!"

* * *

Bridgette saw Beth at the edge of the forest. Her phobia was starting to act up, but she ignored it. She saw the pink-and-green clad girl against a tree, crying into her hands.

"Beth?" the surfer girl called out to her. "Beth, I want to talk to you!"

The farm girl looked up, her eyes red and wet. "B... Bridgette?" she whimpered. "I... I..."

She stopped, and slumped her face in her knees. The blond surfer sat down next to her, looking at the devastated girl. "Beth hon," she started, "can you talk to me?"

The farm girl managed to nod, her face still buried in her knees. "Did...," Bridgette started, hesitating to ask in the most gentle way possible, "... did you use gummi slugs for your choice?"

Beth nodded, a miserable sob leaking from her mouth. "I... cannot believe it happened..."

"But did you put gummi slugs in all of the soup bowls?"

The brunette looked shocked by this. "What... what? No, no, I didn't do that! Why would I do that? The rulesth were for one bowl."

Bridgette stared at her, then replied, "Because whoever wanted to hurt Harold put puréed gummi slugs in all the soup bowls."

Beth gaped. "But... but... why would sthomeone do that to him?"

"I don't know," the blond girl admitted. "I... really wish I knew..."

* * *

Katie was biting her fingernails, a habit she had managed to stop a few years ago; however, the stress of what had happened brought it up again.

"I wish Sadie was here," she whimpered.

Duncan happened to pass by her at that moment, stopped and turned around. "Why don't you just cuddle up to your boyfriend? He not as cuddly as her?"

Katie let out a strained cry. "Why are you so mean?" she shouted at him, poking him right in the skull... logo on his shirt. "It wouldn't surprise me in the least if you did this for Harold!"

Duncan cocked the right side of his unibrow. "Oh really? You think I'd do something that bad?"

"I'm sure you would," the thin BFFF shouted, stomping her foot. "You'd do it for Courtney, you like her enough. And you're the one who makes her so mean."

"_I_ make her mean?" the punk scoffed, smirking at Katie's outrage. "For your information, Courtney always has had a bad side to her. All prim and proper girls do, they have this little demon in them that is about actually having fun and being bad."

"That's not true, you... you... scoundrel!"

Duncan burst out laughing. " 'Scoundrel'? Honestly, you're dating Noah, don't you have a bigger vocabulary than that?"

He began to walk off, leaving Katie livid. "Did you do it?" she shouted at him, but he didn't answer.

* * *

Tyler saw Courtney waiting on the Killer Bass patio. She was waiting for Duncan, who had promised to see her there later, and he certainly was taking his time.

The red-clothed athlete glared at her as he made his way into the cabin. "I saw that," she snapped at him, causing him to halt. "What's with that attitude?"

"You should know why," Tyler snarled, slamming the door shut as she stepped back out. "Harold's in the emergency tent from an allergy attack, and you've been at his throat ever since Day 01!"

"That's not proof," the CIT replied, angry and red-faced. "That's all hearsay."

"And I'm here saying it," Tyler said, regretting that pun seconds after he said it. "You know, we only have a few suspects, and you hated Harold the most."

Courtney crossed her arms, 'hmph'ing' at him. "Look, Tyler, I had nothing to do with it. I'm tired, it's been a hard day, and I want to relax. You should be glad, you got immunity this time around."

The CIT saw Duncan approaching, and waved at him. She turned to Tyler and added, "I feel bad for Harold, but it's all over for him. He'll be voted off tonight, and it'll be done. It's not the first time someone suffered serious injuries or left with a broken heart."

"What about being crippled?" Tyler asked, staring furiously at her.

She merely glared at him, then waved at Duncan. The punk walked up on the patio, then shot a glance at Tyler before her and Courtney walked into the boys' side.

Courtney looked out the window and waited for Tyler to leave. When he finally did, she sighed and turned to her (though she'd deny it) boyfriend. "Duncan," she said, "I have something to tell you."

"Really, Princess?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "So do I."

"Mine's pretty big."

"Mine's bigger, Princess."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Mine's still bigger."

* * *

Chris drummed his fingers on Harold's leg. Since he had been doing this for several minutes without the nerd saying anything, the handsome host grew worried.

"This is worse than I thought," he said to Harold and Leshawna, before standing up and walking out of the medical tent. "Though I love the drama, this might be a little too much.

"**Who was it that put gummi slugs in all the soup bowls to cause Harold's allergic reaction? Is someone lying?**

**And who is going to be voted off: Bridgette, Cody, Katie, Ezekiel, Gwen, Izzy, Beth, or Harold?**

"**And what is going to happen in-between the campers before this day is done?**"

Chris shook his head, then started to walk away. "I hate this. I might not even sum up the scene well enough before the commercial break."

* * *

**The answers are coming up in PART 3! As is... the confrontation you've all been waiting about!**

* * *

--

--

--

Mumarney is made up, there is no such medicine; I just don't know where to look up stuff like that, and I don't trust wikipedia. And yes, the confrontation is coming! Dun-dun-dunnnn!

**Votable** - Beth, Bridgette, Cody, Ezekiel, Gwen, Izzy, Harold, Katie.


	29. Day 9, Part 3: Courtney and Harold

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. In case of a sudden drop in pressure in the fanfiction, oxygen masks will deploy.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**Tall T** - Actually, if you look up his profile on Total Drama Interactive, it says there he was nearly crippled by an allergic reaction to gummi slugs.

**memnarch** - I'll try to review your story soon. You can believe Heather if you want to, and Beth added blended gummi slugs to one bowl only. And hey, a fellow McKeller fan, cool!

**cascadingice** - Yeah, I've got to try to make Bridgette more clumsy, Katie more ditzy, and Leshawna's slang (which I _suck_ at, I don't mind admitting). That's the fun from TDI that I've digressed from. Also, cutest couple is Ezekiel and Heather? Wow, they haven't even made out yet! \winks\

**TitanWolf** - Mucho Cody fan, eh? Also, about Cody/Sadie, that's still in the air.

**ironbloodaika** - My ideas mostly come from video games, spin-offs of the original challenges, and evil little ideas trapped in the recesses of my diabolical mind, buahaha.

**Heirate Mich** - I'm glad you like my story that much, but don't resort to cannibalism! That's a zombie's job.

**Blazing T-Rex** - Naw, it's not wrong at all.

**MusicIsMyPassion** - Cody is cute, ain't he? And there's no reason to hate Gwen, because from her point of view, Cody has seriously betrayed her. And I miss Geoff too.

**Mappadouji** - Harold isn't going to be crippled for life, I'll let you all know that too.

**QJD1381** - Whoa, harsh words. Just glad you ain't threatening to kill me, eh.

**an ocean kid** - I'm a fast typer. Got magic fingers, I do.

**To Everybody** - I love all your reviews, and wish I could reply to them all, but that'd take a long time, and I'm sure you'd like me to dedicate my time to writing more. And now, I'd like to sum up what's to happen in a song:

_Some guys eat gummi slugs_

_Some girls are mad, you see_

_Some campers get voted off_

_Some guys gotta wear a toque_

_But if you read on this chapter_

_You'll see the truth, blow by blow_

_So whoever gets voted off this time_

_It is time to start up the show!_

_Wooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!_

_(Brace yourselves, this is a long chapter! Woo!)_

* * *

**Chapter 29 (Day 09, Part 3)** - This is Why the Show is Called Total _Drama_ Comeback

* * *

**Last Time... On Total Drama Comeback:**

Duncan took a long drag from his cigarette. "Yeah, DJ, man," he said, "after conquering the drinking problem, I think I finally have the courage to break up with Courtney."

The large football player, with a sad scar down his forehead, nodded. Then his eyes bulged, and he pointed at the upcoming Courtney.

"Duncan," the CIT shouted, "I'm pregnant!"

* * *

"It's too soon, Ezekiel," Bridgette whimpered, holding her hands up to her heart. "It's so difficult for me at this time, with Geoff only being dead for three months and our daughter still coping with it."

"But I love you," Ezekiel cried out, throwing his hands into the air, "and I always have!"

"What about me?" Heather shouted at Ezekiel, jerking her thumb at her chest.

"You couldn't love me back, with your career as a queen bee," the prairie boy declared. "You have to think of the hive!"

* * *

"No, no, don't say that," Gwen yelling, pounding on Cody's muscular chest. Her dress straps were slipping, her heaving bosom almost out of it. "You're a pig, and I wish I knew how I could quit you!"

"You cannot quit me, my dearest Gwen," Cody said, flexing his bare chest for her, "because you're pregnant with my baby."

She gasped, the back of her hand to her forehead. "How ever did you know?"

"You're showing, my love, at six months."

* * *

 Harold's feeble grasp of Leshawna's hand made the large sister, who was wearing a wedding dress, sob dramatically.

"My dearest daddy-o," she managed to choke out, "how could this happen, and on our wedding night?"

"I wish I had known earlier," the nerd wheezed, "that our wedding cake had gummi slug frosting?" Chef burst into the room, wearing his tight, white, nurse outfit. "Leshawna," he yelled, "I just got your test results back, and you..."

He let it sink in before he shouted, "... have a disease not yet known to science, but we know you'll be dead in a year."

As Harold and Leshawna gasped, Chef added, "Oh, and you're pregnant."

* * *

Noah looked between Sadie and Katie. "You're going to make me choose between the two of you, Katie?"

"Yes, and I know how hard it must be, since we both have something of yours...," she said, rubbing her stomach.

"Yeah, she's got my car, and you have my stereo."

"And we're both pregnant," Sadie admitted, near tears, "but it might be Justin's! Or Beth's!"

"Wait, how it it Beth's?" Noah asked, appalled.

* * *

Chef slapped the host upside the back of his head. "Stop feeding the viewers false soap opera stories, and let the real story unfold!"

"Geez, I thought it was really interesting in itself, dude," Chris Maclean complained. "Cannot blame me for trying!"

* * *

**(In reality...)**

Things were awkward between Bridgette, Katie, Ezekiel, Cody, and Harold. They had gathered up in front of the Killer Bass cabin, silent with a thousand words on their lips.

Bridgette, worn out but still enduring, had her arms on top on his knees, exhausted. Cody was leaning against the balcony, as red-eyed as Bridgette. Katie was leaning against the balcony over him. Ezekiel was holding the handlebars of Harold's wheelchair, as Leshawna had to use the lavatory.

"So what are we going to do?" Katie asked her friends. "I mean, do we vote off you, Harold?"

"Well, we've never discussed who we should vote off, we always respected each other's personal choice," Bridgette muttered, trying to stay awake.

Harold let out a long sigh. "Gosh. I... never thought about that. I mean, I'd like to stay, but it's truly up to you guys. After all, you don't want to be on the same team as the guy who's in the wheelchair."

Ezekiel shrugged. "I think you'll be okay, dude. But if not you, then who, eh?" "Well, who's available again?" Katie asked. "I keep forgetting."

"You, me," Bridgette started to list, "Zeke, Izzy, Gwen, Cody, Harold, and Beth."

"Did Beth put the gummi slugs in Harold's bowl?" the thin BFFF asked.

"She said she only put it in one bowl," Bridgette said. "So she doesn't know if it was her or whoever put it in all the bowls. She's still pretty devastated, she thinks it's still her."

Katie stared. "Was it her then?"

"I don't know, Katie," Bridgette cried out, "and that's mostly my fault. I stopped Ezekiel from tasting the bowls to see if one had pure gummi slugs in it, and Chef Hatchet threw out the bowls while we were busy."

"Darnness," the thin BFFF cursed. "Well, who then?"

"That's the ten dollar question, eh," Ezekiel replied. "I mean, we like everyone who's votable."

Cody kicked out the ground, and mumbled something that no one could understand. Katie asked him to repeat it, and he said, louder, "You can vote me off."

"Wait, what?" Bridgette asked, astonished. "You want us to vote you off? Why, Cody?"

"I don't want to be here anymore," the tech-geek replied. "My friends are gone or not themselves, I'm not winning any of these challenges, and Gwen... Gwen..."

He fell down on his but and covered his eyes. "She hates me. I cannot stand it anymore, and I don't want to look like a crybaby on TV anymore."

"You've been crying?" Katie asked, looking startled. "I didn't know it'd hurt _that_ much, but she did smack you."

"Real sensitive, Katie," Ezekiel quipped.

"Oh! Sorry! But Cody, don't you know you have a lot more lady fans? Gwen is not the only-"

"If I had fans, I didn't know, ever," the tech-geek replied. "I'm the laughingstock at school. They're always making fun of me for being mauled by a bear or crushing on Gwen, and now... now I just don't want to make myself more of a fool."

The five teenagers were quiet for a few seconds, until Bridgette finally managed to gather up her nerve. "Cody, did you have anything to do with Trent being voted off?"

"No, of course not," he replied. "Why would I? Not only is he my friend, but it wouldn't help me with Gwen... as evident."

Bridgette sighed, nodding slightly. "I had my doubts... but I believe you now. But we're not going to vote for you."

"What?! Why not?"

"Because if we do, you won't be around when we find out who did organize Trent being voted off," the surfer replied, "and you should be here when she knows the truth."

"Then who then?"

Katie let out a long sigh, then said, "If you all could vote off me, that'd be good."

"What, you?" Ezekiel cried out. "Why? Do you miss Sadie that much, eh?"

"Actually, yes," the thin BFFF admitted. "I've been away from her too long, and it's too much for me."

"You haven't been showing anything that shows you're going through Sadie withdrawal," Harold pointed out.

"That's because I've been keeping it secret from you all, actually," she said, her face flushing. "And I'm... not exactly proud how I've been dealing with my Sadie withdrawal."

"How bad could it be?" Bridgette asked her.

Katie leaned over to whisper in the surfer girl's ear. The more she whispered, the more Bridgette's eyes widened. Her fingers twitched, her jaw dropped, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. After Katie was done, Bridgette was as pale as a vampire.

"You didn't," she whispered to Katie.

"I'm afraid so."

"Where on earth did you get the soy beans?"

"Look, it's not that important," Katie quickly said, her face red now. "The point is, I haven't been away from Sadie this long. It was five challenges last time, and now it's been seven. I'm losing my mind in ways no one can understand! Well, maybe Sadie could, and Bridgette now..."

"What about Noah?" Cody asked.

"I'll talk to him," the thin BFFF said as she started to leave.

"Wait, Katie," Harold called out, rolling his wheelchair towards her. "You sure you want to do this? I mean, you still have a chance at this contest, and I should be the one to go."

"I won't let you be voted off because someone poisoned you," she replied. "And I never really wanted to win the contest, I just wanted to spend time with my friends; my friends mean the world to me."

With a wink, she ran off to find Noah. Cody watched her go, then let out a long sigh. "Still doesn't seem right," he muttered.

"I agree, but if she's willing to do this...," Bridgette said with a heavy sigh of her own. "I just wish we knew who did this to you, Harold. I'll bet it was Duncan."

"Yeah," Harold replied. "Seems like something he would do."

"I just doo'nt understand how anyone figured 'oot your allergy," Ezekiel mused. "I mean, weren't Chef's notes blown away?"

"He made his own copies from memory," Cody said, "and apparently, he got it wrong. I think he had gums and slugs on Harold's paper."

"Allergic to slugs?" the prairie boy chuckled. "Too bad, no escargot."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - As seen in reviews.)**

Bridgette - "Ezekiel says Heather didn't do it, and though I don't want to tell him, I don't think she could be trusted. Though I'm pretty sure Duncan did this, because he's always been mean to Harold and others."

Owen - "Izzy's been acting strange ever since she drank that beer. She keeps babbling about a 'revealing' paper and how it will change the contest entirely. I wonder if it's her wanted poster... ooo, you think she has one?"

Ezekiel - "I'm sem'ee-certain it was Courtney now. She's hated Harold ever since this season started, eh."

* * *

Noah, for the first time in both seasons, looked sad. Katie was done explaining the plan to the know-it-all, and even her perky way of describing it couldn't cheer him up.

"You want to sacrifice yourself?" Noah summed up her plan. "But... what about the contest?"

"I told you, I don't mind losing it," Katie explained it. "I don't really need the money." "But what about...," Noah hesitated to say it, "... us?"

"Noah, hon, we'll still be together after the contest, I assure you," the thin BFFF said. "Look at all the other couples. Gwen and Trent, Geoff and Bridgette, Courtney and Duncan, they're all still together after the contest."

"We just haven't had a lot of time together," he said. "Do you really miss Sadie that much?"

The thin BFFF looked around, then started whispering into Noah's ear. The egghead's eyes bulged, he shivered, then pushed Katie away from his ear. "Okay Katie," he cried out, "I believe you!"

"But there's more," she admitted. "There was also yesterday, when I-"

"It's okay, I don't mind," he declared. "Jeepers, girl... soy beans?"

"Bridgette was able to hear all of it, you know," she giggled. "Oh Noah sweetheart, you know I'd love to be with you, to spend more time, but I haven't been away from Sadie this long, ever."

Noah sighed, then shrugged. "I suppose it wouldn't be healthy for our relationship if I started a fight a week into it. And also, I guess I'm going to need to get her approval for this relationship."

"She likes you, but she's really into Justin," Katie pointed out.

"Oh, Mr. Chest."

"Yes! How'd you know we liked to call him that?" she giggled, clapping her hands.

Noah stared in astonishment, then shrugged. "Um, my incredible deductive skills, I guess. I could've been the next Sherlock."

"Ever so cynical, you nut!" She hugged him, getting comfortable. "I do enjoy being with you, Noah, and when this contest is done, we'll have more time. Though I do count on you to win this, like you always say you will."

"Of course I will... Cutie Katie," Noah said, trying out the new pet name. She giggled, then propped herself up to kiss him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Will the real Confession Cam please stand up?)**

Noah - "I'd be lying if I said I was 100% okay with this. It's like Heather said during the contest, that she'd want to be with Sadie more than me. Still... who am I to tell her what to do when it hasn't even been a week into the relationship? And she'd probably kick my butt too."

\He sighs, then looks at the camera.\ "Plus... that soy bean thing... wow."

* * *

The campfire festival was a gloomy one. At the side were the seven winners, all looking anxious. Noah looked upset, Tyler determined, and Courtney and Duncan kept exchanging looks that couldn't be read easily.

Ezekiel was trying to balance out Izzy, who still had a gentle sway. When the redhead let out a sickly moan, the prairie boy had to leap away in fear of her throwing up on him for the third time. Katie was smiling and waving at Noah, trying to comfort him without words. Bridgette and Cody looked at each other in worry that the plan might not work.

Beth was slumped over in her seat, looking defeated and depressed. Gwen had her arms crossed, determined and serious. Harold was looking up at Leshawna, who was leaning on the back of his wheelchair.

"Aren't you all the happy crowd?" Chris said, quirking an eyebrow. "Seriously, the looks are more morbid than on soap operas. Is someone pregnant?"

"I'm not," shouted Izzy.

"Me neither," said Katie.

"Not me, eh," admitted Ezekiel.

"Well then, the votes have been cast. It's time to vote off our ninth camper, and I must say, the tension is so big here, it's like the unmentionable elephant in the room. It'll only cause more drama, I assure you, because that camper isn't coming back!

"FOREVERS! BUA HA HA HA!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Bigger than a voting booth, less private.)**

Gwen - "Aw great, now he's adding fake, diabolical laughter to the ordeal."

Ezekiel - "I wonder if Chris knew how dramatic this was going to get, eh. If he did, then he did a good job bringing up the drama."

* * *

"Okay then, we have eight campers here, and only seven will be going home," Chris declared. "And the first camper who received a marshmallow of safety will be... Izzy!"

The tipsy girl was hit in the forehead wit the marshmallow, and was knocked off her seat, still giggling and laughing.

"Next goes to... Cody!" The tech-geek caught his, then ate it slowly, still looking upset.

"Oh, hurry it up," Courtney shouted, stomping her foot. "We _know_ who's going to be voted off!"

"Yeah, Chris man," Duncan said aloud. "Is there any doubt?"

The host blinked, then grinned evilly. "Okay then! Speeding it up: Ezekiel, Bridgette, Gwen, and Beth!"

They caught their marshmallows, but Beth let hers bounce off the top of her head. She looked surprised that she received one, but it didn't diminish her sorrow.

"Guess that leaves just you two," Chris said, looking between Harold and Katie.

"Just give it to Katie already," Heather shouted.

"Yeah, will you stop this ridiculous suspense?" Courtney yelled.

Chris looked upset. "This is, like, the biggest part of my job, stop ruining it for me."

"Give it to Katie...," Duncan moaned, impatiently doing a 'get on with it' hand motion.

The handsome host took a deep breath. "You're ruining it for me...," he strained, while picking up the last marshmallow.

Harold and Katie exchanged looks. The thin BFFF smiled at the nerd comfortingly, and he returned the smile.

"If I _may_," Chris said, "the final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Harold."

The wheelchair-bound nerd caught the marshmallow, looking happy but sad at the same time. He let out a long sigh before nibbling on the treat.

"What," was all Duncan could say.

"What?" was all Heather could say.

"WHAT?!!" was what Courtney yelled. "You voted Katie off, and not Harold?!"

"Now this is why the show is called Total _Drama_," Chris cheered, clapping his hands. "But before the drama-"

"How could you people do this?" Courtney continued to shout. "He's in a wheelchair, you-"

"Shush for now, Courtney," Chris said, pushing the CIT away. "Katie, it's time for you to walk the Dock of Shame, and board the Boat of Losers!

"Oh, and Leshawna, you gotta go with her."

The large sister shrugged, patting Harold's shoulder. "Harold's doing better, I'm good now." Katie nodded as she picked up her stuff nearby the bonfire ceremony. Courtney noticed this, and her jaw dropped in astonishment. "Wait... you knew?" she cried out, clenching her fists. "You _planned_ to be voted off?"

"Uh-huh," Katie replied, grinning.

* * *

The Boat of Losers came a-chugging in a few minutes, while Courtney was sputtering in indignant rage. Duncan tried to comfort her, but she was so beside herself that he gave up, in fear of being hit.

Leshawna and Katie gave her boyfriends one long kiss before heading towards the Dock of Shame. "Nice one, sister," Leshawna said to Katie, giving her an approving wink.

"Thanks, I learned from watching all the other couples make out."

When the Boat of Losers pulled up to the Dock of Shame, there was already a passenger on it. A passenger with identical clothes to Katie, and was bouncing up and down in joy.

"Katieeeeee," Sadie squealed.

"Sadieeeeee," Katie squealed back, bolting to the boat. Leaping on, she grabbed hold of her friend and hugged her tight.

As Sadie hugged back and the two continued to squeal, Leshawna put her hands over her ears. "Um, Chris?" she called out, "any chance I could take the next ferry?"

"Nope, sorry!"

"Aw, ya gotta be frontin' me!"

Katie managed to separate from Sadie long enough to wave at Noah. "Bye, Noah! Bye, sweetheart!"

"Bye, Cutie Katie," he called back to her.

"Eeeee, he's gave you a pet name," Sadie cried out in joy.

The two started squealing again, and Leshawna pushed his hands against his ears. It was going to be a long ride for her.

As the boat strolled off, Katie and Sadie squealing with the former waving good-bye to her boyfriend, Courtney finally exploded.

"I don't believe this," she shouted at the top of her lungs. "You voted off Katie to save that dweeb?!"

She thrust her finger at Harold, who blinked in response. "Why are you saving him? He's a back stabbing, two-timing, evil little worm!"

"Don't hold back, how do you really feel?" Eva asked, grinning insatiably. "Finally, the confrontation; I've been exhausted listening to you complain all the time about him."

"Shut up, Eva," Courtney yelled, her eyes blazing.

"Whoa, she really is angry," Owen whimpered. He and Chef Hatchet, who had been watching from a short distance, exchanged nervous looks.

"This could get ugly real fast, fat boy," the large cook said.

"That's what pulls the ratings, dudes," Chris remarked, grinning as he crossed his arms and watched the drama unfold.

Courtney was trying to hold in rage, but it kept spilling out faster and faster. "I cannot stand you, why is it that the others defended you?" she shouted at Harold, spit flying from her mouth. "Why can't you just... just go away? Choke on your stupid gummi slugs and let your allergies finish you off!"

"Courtney," Bridgette cried out, horrified at her friend's harsh words.

"No, I've had it," the CIT yelled, throwing her fists into the air. "Why can't you leave!? Why can't you just get out of my life?"

Tyler was drumming his fingers against his tightly crossed arms. His eyebrow twitched at these remarks. "You did it, didn't you?" the athlete snarled, glaring at the furious CIT. "You put the gummi slugs in all of the bowls to make sure Harold drank them?"

"So what if I did?!"

Bridgette gasped, her hands over her mouth. "You... you did that? You fed Harold his worst allergy?"

"I didn't know it was his worst," Courtney shouted, "it was just on a stupid piece of paper! But I don't care at this point!

"It was on the gray line of the list, loud girl," Chef Hatchet remarked. "That meant it was the worst."

"How does gray signify worst?" Gwen asked, raising a dubious eyebrow.

"Gray as in leaden gray, the color of a dead man's skin."

"That's revolting," Eva spat. "And for some reason, I like it."

Courtney was still heaving in anger, standing over Harold with a terrible fury. "You little life-ruining snot," she continued, "why didn't you get voted off? I've done everything I can, but you just won't go away! You're like... like a stupid cockroach, you and your little friends!"

Duncan was trying to get her to calm down, waving his hands desperately. "Ix-nay on the spiracy-conay, Court-nay!"

"The 'crisp-acy'?" Owen asked, trying to translate.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Duncan," the CIT growled. "This little cockroach is probably back to his old tricks! How else could he have survived this voting ceremony when we had all his friends voted off?"

There was an awkward pause, and Bridgette starting to shake. "Wait," she cried out, looking desperately at Courtney, "what... you... you voted off Harold's friends? You mean... you were the reason Geoff was voted off?"

"And Lindsay?" Tyler said, looking just as mad. "You voted her off?"

"And Trent?" Gwen cried out, balling up her fists.

"And Leshawna?" Harold asked, looking as astonished as the others.

"Yes, yes I did," Courtney declared, her look never leaving Harold. "I thought if all your stupid friends were gone, it would be easier to finally have you kicked off! Why didn't it work?"

Izzy, by this time having sobered up, let out a cry of surprise. "You people didn't know by now?" she asked aloud, looking pleased with herself. "I guessed a long time ago how she did it! Here, see this?"

The crazy girl pulled the message in the bottle out of her skirt pocket, waving it around. Bridgette took it, and read it out loud. After being startled and horrified so many times, Bridgette was sure nothing else could; this proved her wrong.

"You... you were working...," the surfer chick was choking on every word, "with Duncan... and Heather?"

"Heather?!" Gwen shouted, furious now. "Courtney, you were working with her?!"

Aforementioned queen bee scoffed, throwing her ebony hair back. "So what? It's only strategy, nothing personal."

"You voted off Geoff and Leshawna to spite Harold," the goth girl shouted. "Didn't you care about other people's feelings? Bridgette's your friend, for God's sake!"

"I don't care," Courtney shrieked. "I want Harold off this island, I'd do anything! But you guys voted off Katie instead of him, you let this cheating worm stay!"

"I think you took it to an extreme," Noah remarked, his hands on his hips. "My girlfriend had to sacrifice herself to make sure your plans didn't work."

"How many times do I have to say, 'I don't care'?" the tan-skinned CIT hissed. "You people couldn't understand what he's done to me!"

"So he switched the votes on you last seasons, so what?" Tyler snapped. "You got revenge, you beat him with the lamp post!"

"You were going to let Beth take the fall for what you did to Harold, too," Cody shouted, looking mad; it was the first time any of them had seen him mad.

"Just shut up," Courtney yelled, her fists clenched so tight she almost drew blood. "I've had it, with all of you! I hate this stupid, unfair contest!"

She stormed off, panting in fury. She approached the communal washrooms, slamming the door behind her as she shut herself in. The others, still in shock, turned their gazes over to Heather and Duncan.

"You people take this so personally," Heather remarked, shrugging at Gwen's intense glare. "People just want to win this contest."

"Harold is in a freaking wheelchair," Tyler shouted. "How is that not personal?!"

"Aye," Eva agreed, nodding and crossing her arms threateningly at Heather.

"I had nothing to do with that," the queen bee said. "I just helped Courtney vote off some of the people she wanted off."

"What about you, Duncan?" Gwen said, glaring at the punk. "Did you know about the whole gummi slug plan?"

"No way," he protested. "Well, to be honest, I thought it was Courtney after it happened but I didn't know she would do that beforehand."

"Why does sthee hate Harold so much?" Beth asked, looking shocked by the whole ordeal. "Sthee was going to let me take the blame for the gummi sthlugsth... I really thought I was the one who had given Harold them! I even voted for mysthelf, I was tho upsthet!"

"She hasn't told me," Duncan cried out, "and frankly, it's really frustrating me. Every time I've tried to talk to her about this whole ordeal, she clams up! She won't talk to me, and it's been getting worse every day."

" 'Getting worse'?" Gwen shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "She had Geoff voted off near the beginning of the contest, and Courtney's her friend. And..."

The goth girl stopped when she saw Bridgette, still holding the letter; it was being blotted with her tears.

"I cannot take this anymore," she sobbed. "Harold nearly dies, Courtney's working with Heather, she voted off Geoff for revenge, everything at once..."

She nearly fell on her knees, but Gwen caught her, hugging her friend. Bridgette clung to her goth friend, taking deep breaths.

"This is pretty wild," Eva said, quirking an eyebrow. "Hard to imagine Courtney was behind all this. She's always been a prissy rule-following princess... back stabbing doesn't seem to be in her."

"Thee'sth become completely absthorbed with revenge," Beth remarked.

"I wish I could get her to say what," Duncan admitted. "I've been against some of the people she's wanted to vote off, but there's no stopping Courtney when she wants to do something. You know Princess."

Tyler rubbed his temple, letting out a long sigh. "This is such a freaking nightmare. Duncan dude, why don't you just go to Courtney and get her to tell us what's really been bothering her?"

"You saw how mad she was, dude," said Duncan. "I think it'd be best if we let her blow off some steam before she talks to us."

"I think she should tell us now," Gwen growled, still hugging Bridgette. "We all deserve an explanation, especially Bridgette and Harold."

"And you think I should go get her when she's like this?"

"You were helping her!"

"Not in everything!"

"Fine, I'll believe that. But you did help her vote off some of the people here, and we want to know exactly why."

"Well, fine, I guess I could try..."

He stopped when he looked over at the communal restrooms. Some of the other campers saw what he saw: a certain toque-wearing prairie boy was entering the communal restrooms.

"Oh, Zeke man," Tyler whimpered, cringing. "I sure hope you know what you're doing."

* * *

After she had stormed into the communal restrooms, Courtney slammed her fists on the counter. She heaved in frustration before she started ranting to herself.

"I cannot believe they all ganged up on me like that," she hissed. "I have every right to try and get Harold voted off. They don't know what he did to me... they don't know... they don't even care..."

Unable to calm down, she tried to look herself in the mirror; however, for some reason, she couldn't. Straining to overcome this unconscious barrier, it took a couple minutes for her to look herself in the mirror.

When she saw herself, she burst into tears. "What have I become?" she sobbed, slumping on the counter. "I... I look so hideous."

Courtney covered her eyes, unable to look into the mirror again. Images of Bridgette heartbroken kept flashing in her mind, and it made her feel worse and worse.

"I'm sorry, Bridgette," she choked, "I only wanted Harold voted off. I couldn't help it..." She splashed her face with warm water, then dried it off as she took deep, ragged breaths. "I hate this...," she moaned. "How did it come to this?"

The door creaked open, and Ezekiel entered. Courtney was slumped over the counter, her eyes still moist.

"What are you doing in here?" she snapped, then added, "Get out!"

"No," he replied, shutting the door behind him. "No, I'm not going to let you do this. To you or the others, eh."

"You shut up," she shouted at him, looking away. "You don't know anything, you disconnected redneck!"

"I knoo' enough to see that you've really hurt Bridgette," he retorted, crossing his arms, "and you doo'nt look too proud yourself."

She screamed in frustration, and charged at him. He managed to hold her at arms length, but he was struck by her flailing arms several times. Her fingernail cut his cheek, but he ignored it.

"Courtney, stop it, will ya?" Ezekiel cried out. "I get enough abuse from the contests, I doo'nt need you beating on me!"

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Courtney shouted at him. "You're the one who got kicked off the first contest because of your sexist comments."

"You knoo', you cannot justify all this by dumping on me, eh," he said. "You owe it to the rest of the campers to say what's been behind all this!"

"I don't owe anyone anything," she cried out, "especially Harold."

"Oh yes, you do, eh!"

He managed to push her against the wall, taking deep breaths as she glared daggers at him. "You owe it to a lot of people. Bridgette, Beth, Gwen, Tyler, even Duncan! Even he doesn't know why you're acting like this!"

"You wouldn't understand," she spat at him. "None of you would know what I went through."

"Oh, I think I could, eh," the prairie boy replied. "I had it pretty miserable after Total Drama Island, and so did several other campers, eh. Only none of us tried to take revenge, not so harshly at the least."

Courtney glared at him, panting. "You think... I-"

"Look, I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, eh. Bridgette's in tears out there, and-"

"Stop talking about her," Courtney hissed, "I cannot stand how you're crushing on her."

"And I cannot stand how you're blowing her off like this, eh. C'mon, you're going 'oot there."

He started to pull her towards the door, but she pulled back. "No," she protested, pulling him back. "I cannot go out there... not after that," she sounded scared now. "Especially not with you pulling me out."

"Look, I knoo' it's hard to do something like this, go up to the people after all this emotion and anger and such, eh."

"How could you know?"

"It's called the first day of this season, eh."

Courtney rubbed her arm, looking away from him. He sighed and said, "You saw me struggle the first day back here, eh. I didn't want to be here, I was sure everyone would still hate me, and I didn't to go throo' that a'geen, eh.

"But I'm still here, and things have worked 'oot well so far, eh. I'm friends with Tyler, Bridgette, Katie 'n Sadie... and I knoo' you doo'nt want to lose your friends. Because if you doo'nt go 'oot there and explain yourself, they'll never knoo' why."

Courtney took several breaths, then she looked into the mirror again. Snapping her head away, she realized she wouldn't be able to look in the mirror unless she did what Ezekiel was saying.

"Some day," she whispered, "I'm going to have to find out what caused this change in the nose-picking, sexist, home schooled, prairie boy that I knew from the first season."

"I'm groo'ing up, change is inevitable," Ezekiel replied with a smirk. "After you now, need me to hold the door for you?"

* * *

Courtney exited the communal washrooms first, Ezekiel behind her. The campers looked around to them as they approached, all eyes on Courtney.

She could have bee lined for the cabins and left them nothing, Lord knows she wanted to; it would be the easy way out of this situation. But she couldn't, she was going to have to confess to all that she had done and why; and confessing her feelings was something she wasn't good at.

"Okay," she said in a long, exhaling breath. "I... I guess I have to explain... what's been going on."

Tyler and Gwen were glaring at her, Bridgette looked very vulnerable, even Duncan looked anxious to hear what was going on.

"I...," she started, taking more deep breaths, "I know you all know I am mad at Harold."

"Understatement of the year," Gwen scoffed.

"And...," Courtney continued, trying to ignore Gwen, "and, it actually stems from something more than Total Drama Island."

When she hesitated, Harold spoke up. "Was it something at your school?" "As a matter of fact, yes. Life got pretty crappy at my school for me. Everyone was calling me stupid names like Ms. Hysterical and Crazy In Training.

"I lost...," she held her hands out and hissed, "everything. All respect for me at my school and home was lost, and it was all because I lost Total Drama Island like that. Dragged on the Dock of Shame, thrown on the Boat of Losers, when I had been cheated off. It's all anyone ever talked about!"

She stomped her foot, then shook her head, trying to stay calm. "I thought it was because I was seeing Duncan, or that I had stole that food during that stupid boot camp training that Chef put on. But no, everyone seemed to find it so-oooooo funny how I got chucked off the show."

Harold was wringing his hands, but he never lost eye contact with her. She continued, sounding near tears now. "During the reelection for student election, I lost in a landslide against an opponent who's main counter-argument against me was a giant poster of me being pulled down that stupid dock by Chris and Chef.

"My parents were so disappointed in me. I kept trying to tell them it wasn't my fault I lost, but they kept insisting that it was because I was too busy canoodling with Duncan that I let my guard down. They're hard enough to please, but I didn't think they'd blame me for my loss on this too!

"And then, about after three months of this torment of everyone rubbing it in my face that I lost, I realized that it was _your_ fault," she said, glaring at Harold. "You cheated and swapped the votes, and caused me to lose! I kept asking myself, 'Why? Why did he vote me off? I didn't do anything to him'!"

"That's something I never got, either," Heather said, cutting in as she played with a lock of her hair. "You hated Duncan, why'd you vote off Courtney?"

Harold sighed, looking down, then up at the CIT again. "I wanted revenge on Duncan. I was so mad at him for being such a bully, that I wanted to hurt him."

"But why me?" Courtney shouted, beginning to shake. "Why did you vote me off? Why didn't you vote him off? Not that I wanted that either, but why?"

Harold drummed his fingers on the arm rest of his wheelchair. "Well, about why I voted for you instead of him, it's because I knew being voted off the island wouldn't hurt him. He obviously didn't like being on the island, he was almost asking Chef Hatchet to kick him off.

"I knew the only way to upset Duncan would be vote off the girl he liked."

"You couldn't just suck it up?" Heather asked.

"Well, if you knew me, you'd be at your breaking point," the brunette nerd replied. "You can imagine I'm not popular at school, meh," he shrugged, smiling, "and well, what Duncan put me through is kind of what I go through as school. I try to ignore it but... gosh!

"Bullies just love to keep bullying, and it gets annoying after a while. When I signed up for this contest, I thought it would be different. Especially after I won the first two contests for the Killer Bass.

"But no, I had to put up with Duncan and Geoff and DJ bothering me, mostly Duncan. I didn't want to be the victim anymore, I wanted to make the bully hurt. And," he let out a long sigh, "that's why I wanted revenge."

The campers were silent for a few seconds, Courtney and Harold staring each other down. The nerd then lowered his head and said something the CIT had never imagined him saying.

"I'm sorry, Courtney," he said, then looked up at her. "I'm really sorry. I've been trying to apologize to you since... well, since after Total Drama Island was over. It's been hard to do since... well, it's hard to apologize when you wouldn't listen."

"And try to strangle him," added Gwen.

"And tackle him," added Tyler.

"And whisper death threats under your breath," added Izzy.

Courtney had her arms wrapped herself, her breaths deep. She tried to look away from Harold's honest expression, but couldn't. "I...," she muttered. "I guess I have been a bit headstrong."

"A '_bit_'?" most of the campers shouted incredulously.

"Okay, a lot," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "And... I didn't want it to go this far. I never wanted to hurt Bridgette or Cody or Beth. Things just... they got out of control. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get rid of Harold. And I just got madder and madder..."

"I couldn't thee how you were tho mad," Beth said, looking baffled. "You were alwaysth making out with Duncan."

Courtney looked away as a faint blush came across her face. Duncan was trying not to smile, biting his lip. "I... I really hated what I became," the CIT admitted. "I tried to stop some of the things from happening, but they just happened, and I felt awful.

"It was like being Heather... but with a conscious."

"Oh, that's nice," the queen been scoffed, crossing her arms and looking away. "I helped you with everything you ever needed, and you rat me out."

"You took things too far," Courtney replied, then looked away. "Well... I took things even further than far, so I have no room to criticize." She looked down at Harold's legs, then wrung her hands. "Are... are you going to be okay, Harold?"

"Meh, I managed to recover from the first time, the second time shouldn't be so hard," he said, thumping his chest and making himself cough.

"There we go," Izzy said, pumping her fists into the air. "We finally are all getting along! Now, before the next challenge starts and we all try to rip each others' heads off with our bare teeth and shake the decapitated head about as the blood and gore spill everywhere and nearby observers watch in horror and pray they aren't the next victim-"

"Um, Izzy," Noah shouted, looking green, "what's your point?"

"I wanna see Harold and Courtney shake hands," she declared, bouncing on her feet. "They both suffered, they did things they weren't proud of, but now is the time to make up!"

Courtney and Harold exchanged looks, and the nerd extended his hand. She looked nervous as she shook it, then bent down to hug him. "I'm so sorry, Harold."

"I'll be alright," he said. "Gosh, I'm just glad this is all over."

"Yeah," Courtney said as she wiped her eyes, tears forming up and leaking from her eyes. "I... I'll try to make it up to you."

"Unless you're on the opposite team he's on," Chris Maclean said, popping into the conversation.

"Oh, why'd you have to spoil the moment?" Cody said to the host.

Hearing Cody speak, the CIT's eyes grew as a bad memory came back to her in a rush. "Oh, that reminds me," she said as she turned to a certain green-and-black haired goth girl. "Gwen, I know what you think about Trent being voted off-"

"What about it?" she snapped, crossing her arms.

"That wasn't Cody's doing. He had nothing to do with Trent being voted off."

The goth girl looked like she had been slapped in the face. "Wha... what?" she stammered, looking between Courtney and Cody. "But... but... Noah said Cody organized it."

"That was because mohawk there said he was," Noah said, jerking a thumb at Duncan.

"That was because Heather gave me the idea, though I didn't know what it for then," Duncan said, casting a side glare at the ravenhaired queen bee. "I thought it was for making sure people would go along with the plan, I didn't know it was to hurt Cody."

"I should've known," Beth hissed as she looked over at Heather, who turned her nose up.

"It was strategy," she said with a roll of her eyes. "If things kept going as they were, you all would have voted off Cody and Beth."

"That's your answer to everything, isn't it?" Cody replied, his voice wry. "Well, thank you so much for putting me through the worst experience of my life; I'm sure it was nothing personal."

Gwen looked over at Cody, and her throat suddenly became very dry. "Oh God," she whispered, "you... you really didn't have anything to do with Trent being voted off?"

"I got proof," Chris Maclean declared. He held up a digital camera, and the screen on it displayed the votes for the Confession Cam on Day 08.

_"Cody - 'I voted for Noah, but I hope he doesn't get voted off. Just had no one else I would've voted for.'_

_"Chef Hatchet - 'Sometimes I feel like there is a beautiful, young girl inside me; that's why I wear dresses at times, is that wrong'?"_

Chef angrily tried to wrestle the camera away from Chris after this, with yells of "Gimme that," "No, it's mine," "It was private, pretty boy," "Well, if was private, why'd you say it in the Confession Cam?"

Gwen covered her face, breathing hard. "I... I cannot believe this."

"Me neither," Noah said, looking mad at Cody. "You voted for me, Cody?"

"Wait wait, didn't you hear what I said?" the tech-geek said, holding his hands up in protest. "It was because I had no one else I would've voted-"

He was cut off as Gwen hugged him suddenly, and the scrawny brunette was overwhelmed. "I'm so sorry, Cody," she choked out. "I... I really thought you had-"

"Hey hey, Gwen, relax," he replied, smiling at her. "I know it seemed like it at the time..."

"No, no I should've known," she said, shaking her head as she let go of him. "You should be mad at me, I _hit_ you over that."

"Gwen, do you honestly think I could hold a grudge? Against _you_, of all people?" he said, giving her the sly grin he kept for being sly (which always looked more silly than sly, but he tried).

She shook her head, smiled, and hugged him again; this time, he managed to hug her back. "All I wanted was for you to know the truth," he said to her, "and now I'm happy."

Izzy started applauding. "Yay yay! Courtney and Harold are back on speaking terms, Cody and Gwen are okay with each other..."

She looked around, then pointed at Ezekiel and Heather. "You two! Make out!"

Heather blanched. "What? You psycho hose beast, I'll-"

"Zeke man quick, I'll hold her down, you smooch her," Izzy shouted to the prairie boy, then bolted towards Heather.

"No, get away from me," the queen bee yelled as she ran away from the redhead. "You'll never get me alive, Izzy!"

"More gusto, Heather," Ezekiel called out to her as he gave chase too. "Scream it like Izzy does, eh!"

"Shut up, shut up, stop chasing me!"

The campers watched as Ezekiel and Izzy chased after Heather, some of them laughing. "Sthervesth her right," Beth said, clapping. "Go get her, Ethekiel!"

"I hope he's not serious about her," Bridgette said aloud, watching the chase. "He really deserves a better girl than Heather."

"Yeah, he sure does," Courtney agreed. She exchanged looks with Bridgette, and CIT nervously cleared her throat. "Um, Bridgette? About voting off Geoff... I'm sorry, I really am. I was just mad... I... I didn't know you two hadn't seen each other that often."

"What's done is done, Courtney," the surfer girl replied, sighing as she kicked at the ground. "But I did get something from him already."

She held up the message in the bottle, and smiled. "I just hope he writes more often."

The two girls laughed, then watched as Izzy and Ezekiel continued to chase Heather. "Whoa," Harold commented, "where did Izzy get the lasso?"

"I think it's made out of dental floss," Gwen said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Aww man," Cody whined. "I'm the only one who flosses her, that's gotta be mine."

Chris, who had managed to push Chef Hatchet away from him, was filming the chase scene in front of him. As he did, Duncan lightly elbowed him. "Hey Chris man, not that I expect an answer from ya, but why'd you stick up for Cody like that?"

"Oh, I kind of like the geeky guy," the host admitted. "Let's just say I sympathize for the young boys who don't get the girl of their dreams."

"Whatever you say, dude," the punk replied with a wicked grin.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Missing for some time, but now back.)**

Duncan - \cackling\ "Methinks if I get hold of Chris' yearbook, I'll have enough to blackmail him for years."

* * *

**(Meanwhile, on the Playa des Losers...)**

The eight teenagers watching the show on TV let out loud cheers as they watched the feuding campers on Wawanakwa Island make up.

"Yay, yay," Sadie squealed, grabbing Justin and hugging him. "The madness is finally over!"

"Woohoo," Geoff crooned, waving his hat around in the air. "Finally, all those negative vibes are gone!"

"Yes, yes, baby," Leshawna was cheering for Harold. "That's my man, he is! Heart of gold, he has!"

"Eeee, I'm so happy," Lindsay cheered. "Swan and Jody made up, Harvard and Carolina made up, it's all so wonderful, like a happy moment during a soap opera."

Trent collapsed back in his chair, a huge sigh of relief escaping from his lips. "Thank goodness," he said. "I felt so bad for Cody." He looked over at Katie. "That was a very decent thing you did, Katie; it couldn't have been easy."

"Actually, I don't regret it at all," Katie said, hugging Sadie who was still hugging Justin. "I'm glad to be back with Sadie, and now I can cheer Noah on from here."

DJ gave her a thumbs-up. "You're too cool, Katie. Also, congratulations again on you and Noah hooking up again.

"Thank yew," she cooed. "Say, want to hear what he called me during the romantic cruise?"

Seven very anxious teenagers huddled up close to her as she beamed, flushing slightly. "Well, you all seem quite earnest now-"

"Oh no, you don't," Geoff cried out, slinging an arm around her. "You hinted us on, you gotta spill those beans now!"

"Tell us, tell us, tell us," Lindsay chanted. Even Bunny in DJ's lap looked excited, bobbing his furry, little head up and down to Lindsay's chanting.

"Alright, alright," she said, giggling. "Well, he didn't start calling me Cutie Katie until recently, but he was calling me Katie Baby..."

* * *

**Harold** - Katie

**Bridgette** - Katie

**Katie** - Katie

**Cody** - Katie

**Ezekiel** - Katie

**Gwen** - Harold

**Izzy** - Harold

**Beth** - Beth

--

Katie - 5.

Harold - 2.

Beth - 1.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie.

* * *

--

--

--

Well, there you have it! That's why Courtney was so mad at Harold, and now the main fight is over. Gwen and Cody have managed to make up, and Katie is actually okay with being voted off. We just might hear more about the romantic side of Noah later on from Katie, hehe.

But how long will these truces last? What new arguments and angers will emerge? What can the next challenge possibly be, and how will the campers be able to adjust? It may be a while before I update again, World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King comes out in a couple days.

My apologies to all Katie fans, and I hope Courtney and Duncan fans are not too let down. We're down to thirteen campers now, and the tension is still high. Who'll be next to go on Day 10 of Total Drama Comeback?


	30. Day 10, Part 1: Wimp My Ride

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Seat belts are installed into the fanfiction, and it is required by law that you wear them; you aren't cool if you think they're not necessary.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - To simplify matters, I sent replies to your reviews if you had any questions or comments I wanted to answer on. If you have follow-up questions, be sure to include them in your reviews! And I love long reviews, don't be shy, peeps!

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... what should have been just another challenge turned into the biggest soap opera event we've seen on this island.

During an eating contest where the campers had to shove into their mouths whatever their opponents could find, someone slipped in Harold's food some gummi slugs. Being violently allergic, Harold almost croaked from the deadly candies. Turns out it was Courtney, who wanted revenge for how Harold cheating her off the first season led to her being shunned by her peers and classmates back home.

Despite being crippled, Harold's friends did not vote him off, and chose to vote off a willing Katie, who desperately wanted to see Sadie again. Tough luck, Noah.

With rage in her cage, Courtney admitted to poisoning Harold's food, though she didn't know how serious the allergic reaction was thanks to Chef's coded allergy lists. Admitting everything from her home troubles, the framing of Cody, and reasons for actions in the past season, Courtney and Harold have finally ended their (albeit one-sided) feud. The alliance between the CIT, criminal, and queen bee now over, the healing process can begin.

But how wise was it to leave Harold on this island when he's not able to walk? How is Heather going to survive without any allies? And why hasn't that bear appeared yet, we pay him good money to make this show more interesting?

These questions and more will be answer on the fasting, heart-pumping episode yet of Total... Drama ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 30 (Day 10, Part 1)** - Islanders, Start Your Engines

* * *

**(Somewhere...)**

Ezekiel knew he was dreaming. He had to be, because he wasn't on Wawanakwa Island. In fact, he wasn't anywhere anymore; his surroundings were nothing but a pure white with wisps of color-changing trails zipping around pleasantly.

Also there was the brown bear, dressed in a pink tutu, dancing Peanut Butter Jelly Time far in the back. That was a sure sign that this was a dream.

Most eye-catching was Heather, looking very sleek and permed, with a hungry gaze on Ezekiel. The prairie boy was rather unnerved about this, especially since it seemed so unnatural for Heather's smile to seem so... genuine.

"Hello, prairie boy," she purred, strutting over to him. Her eyes fixated on him, her sly smirk resembling something the home schooled boy saw in those underwear catalogues his mom sometime received.

"Uhmmm, hi?" he stammered, tapping his fingers together.

"Why so nervous?"

"You should knoo' why, eh. This is a dream, and you're not acting like Heather at all."

"No, I'm not Heather. But I could be."

"... Come again?"

The dream Heather leaned forward, putting her hands on his shoulders, staring fondly into his eyes. "Did you know that, in many relationships, someone has to change to fit the others' needs? Usually it's the guy... okay, mostly, it's the guy."

"Now that's unfair," Ezekiel protested. "Girls can need just as much changing as guys do; we're not all pigs and you're not all angels, eh."

"Aye, and this is the time where the girl is going to have to change."

She leaned in close, her breath on his face. It was very hard for Ezekiel to concentrate, and the fact that the bear in the back was now singing didn't help.

"Ignore him," Dream Heather whispered.

"He's not bad, eh. Good base."

"Listen to me, Ezekiel. You have to change me, otherwise, I'm going to be a spoiled rotten, crabby, back-stabbing girl for all my life.

"And that," she flicked his nose with her finger affectionately, "is something you'd hate to see happen."

"I cannot prevent it if it does, eh. Why blame me?"

"Because, you know more than anyone that people deserve a second chance. You got one, now you have friends and a social life. If you deserve this second chance, why don't I?"

Ezekiel didn't answer at first, he was forced to look away from her seductive smile. When he did reply, he could barely glance at her. "I remember reading that dreams are sometimes linked to our subconscious feelings, those things we aren't truly aware of unless we dig really deep, eh."

"Ayup. You, deep down, want to give me that second chance, because you feel it fair since you got one," she purred, pulling herself close to him. "And that, Ezekiel, is why you must try to change me."

The ravenhaired, dream-created Heather giggled, shrugging her shoulders as if to toss away an unspoken joke. "You also know subconsciously that even though you're still madly crushing on Bridgette, she cannot be yours because she's with Geoff.

"Don't make this a soap opera, Ezekiel-kun. Get the girl who's available."

Behind her, the bear was nodding at the prairie boy, giving him a claws-up. Ezekiel blinked at this, then at Heather.

"Dating a girl like Heather can mostly lead to pain, eh," he remarked.

"Yes. That is the risk you take if you try me, and I wouldn't blame you for not. But please, consider this... you and I could have a lot more in common than anyone, even I, think we have."

She leaned in to kiss him. The look on her face, the feeling of her against him, it was too much for Ezekiel to take (and this was a dream, no consequences).

A very loud aircraft roared over his head, startling the prairie boy. He leapt back, falling off a cliff that wasn't there a second ago, watching Heather look over the side in terror. The prairie boy fell and fell, then hit a wooden floor hard. A layer of soft velvet was tangled around him, encasing him like a boa constrictor ready to crush.

"Ged dem offva me," he shouted, kicking at the attacker. He, after a second seconds, realized that, "Oh, it's just my sheets, eh."

Duncan had also bolted upright, screaming in panic and hiding under a chair. Harold flinched, rolling out of his bed and hitting the floor shouting, "OW! IDIOTS!" Tyler grumbled and plugged his ears with his fingers, muttering, "Gamera, get back in your cage."

"I'm gonna _kill_ him, eh," Ezekiel roared as he got up. "I'm gonna tear him a'peert, then I'm gonna stomp on the pieces, and then... then... then I'll think of woor'se things to do to the pieces, eh!"

Tyler yawned, then looked up. "Did I miss the alarm?"

"You're the lucky one," Duncan replied. "Chris is back to flying the airplane to wake us up."

"What stopped him from using it until now?"

"Well, a certain ex-convict managed to steal the keys," the punk replied, wiggling his unibrow. He and Ezekiel exchanged a high-five.

"Victory's over now, guess he found it," Tyler said with a sigh. "Might as well get out there and-"

"Um, guys?"

Harold was laying on the ground, looking over at his crutches; since the cabin had no ramp, he had to use them for getting in and out of the building. "Could one of you help me get them? I don't like the idea of crawling on this floor."

"Can't blame you there, dude," Duncan said, handing the nerd's crutches to him. As he did so, he glimpsed Tyler glaring at him from behind.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Still doesn't have a theme song.)**

Duncan - "Okay, I know a lot of people are pissed off at me over the whole alliance with Heather thing, but c'mon, I wasn't responsible for feeding him gummi slugs. Sure I knew Courtney had done it after it happened, which I talked to her about, but you think I'd rat out my girlfriend?"

Tyler - \He looks furiously at the camera.\ "Duncan's been on my nerves ever since this season's started, and now that I know he and Courtney had a hand in voting off Lindsay, I have all the reason in the world to shun them."

Ezekiel - "I really am trying not to read into that dream. Heck, I had a dream where I went on a homicidal rampage and was killing the campers here for voting me off, eh. But no one can see me doing that, right? Maybe Eva would though..."

* * *

As the campers angrily poured out of the two cabins, they were shocked to see Chris Maclean standing there in the clearing with no plane in sight. Standing next to him was Beth, jumping up and down, cheering wildly.

"Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow," she was chanting. "That was one of the coolestht thingsth I've ever stheen in my life!"

"What was?" Gwen asked.

"It wasth-"

"You'll all find out later," Chris said, cutting off Beth. The host grinned at the cranky, tired campers, admiring how bummed they looked. His grin softened when he saw Harold in his wheelchair.

"Hey Harold man, we'd like to know if you want an electric wheelchair," he said to him, "one that can really ride."

"That sounds sweet, but I've never used one; I might crash it into a tree."

As Chris and Harold continued to talk, Beth walked over to a yawning Ezekiel. "What'sth up with you, sleepy head?" she asked, giggling. "You're usthusally up with me, bright and early."

"Couldn't sleep, eh," the prairie boy replied. "Just had a really... bizarre dream."

"That'sth cool." The two continued to make small talk until Ezekiel couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching him. He glanced over at the Screaming Gophers, and saw that that person was Heather.

"Is is just me," he whispered to Beth, diverting his eyes, "or is Heather staring at me?"

Beth's smile was gone in an instant. "Be careful around her, Ethekiel," she whispered. "I heard her mutter your name thisth morning, and I think she may want revenge."

"Revenge? For what, eh?"

"Well, you were the one who convinced Courtney to come clean, and if there'sth anything Heather hatesth, it's when sthomeone does sthomething against her wishesth."

The farm girl crossed her arms, glancing at Heather with a serious scowl. The queen bee scowled back and looked away. "I wish she had been voted off the firstht day," she continued. "She'sth causthed a lot of people a lot of pain. Gwen, Harold... Cody."

She nervously poked her fingers together. "Ethekiel... do you believe in dreamsth?"

"Ummmm...," Ezekiel desperately tried not to think of the dream he just had, and the one where he was a bloodthirsty assassin out for revenge. "No, not at all. Have nothing to do with reality, no sir, eh!"

"Oh," Beth looked crestfallen. "Becausth it wasth about Cody, and I liked it...-"

"But if they're good, why not believe them, eh?" he added, nervously chuckling.

The farm girl chuckled with him, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. Bridgette watched them and smiled to herself, hoping the two farm-raised teenagers would hit it off more.

"And a rocket launcher on the back, controlled by joysticks on the handlebars," Harold continued to list what his dream wheelchair would have. Chris, Tyler, and Eva were pitching in ideas of their own, and none of them were peaceful additions to a wheelchair.

"Chris," Heather finally stopped the debate by calling out to the host. "I assume there's a reason you woke us up early!"

"Oh yeah! Well, everyone head on in to the cafeteria! Chef's breakfast is going to surprise you today!"

"Oh great," Eva snarled, "it'll probably be completely inedible."

"Yes, please, make me guess what I'm eating," Noah added, "I love not knowing what my last meal will be."

"If it's moving again, I swear to God," Gwen spat out, "I'll put it in Heather's bed."

"Yeah, Jell-O is supposed to be the only food that moves when you eat it," Cody chimed in. Gwen chuckled, smiling at him; he flushed, nervously wringing his hands.

Beth, seeing this, sighed. Ezekiel gave her a nudge and whispered, "Hey, he's still free. Go get him, tigress."

"Hehe, tigresth," she repeated, snorting in laughter. "I don't think that nickname will sthtick, but thanksth!"

She ran over to Cody and Gwen, joining in their conversation. As Ezekiel watched her go, someone placed their arm on his shoulder. He almost flinched when he noticed it was Heather.

"So, Zeke," she said, her voice almost a purr, "think we'll be partners this time around?"

"Ummmm...," was his most intelligent reply, "what?"

"For the challenge, you goof. I'd love to be on your team."

As Ezekiel stammered in response to Heather's forward attitude, there were several eyes glaring at the ravenhair.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We're being replaced by a **_**dressing room**_**?!)**

Bridgette - "That skank better not be trying to charm Ezekiel. How low and scheming is that!"

Tyler - "If she pretends to be interested in him, only to leave him high and dry, I don't care if she's a girl, I'll..." \He gets really mad, and punches the side of the outhouse; then he cries out in pain and nurses his knuckles.\

Izzy - "Sometimes I wonder if she is the one smuggling jelly beans onto the island. But I doubt she has an interest in illegal candy."

Gwen - "Heather is like this noxious cloud that spreads discomfort when you see it. It's because of her I was so mad at Cody..."

\She looks ashamed and stares down at the floor.\ "I still cannot believe I hit him... mind you, I felt so betrayed, I thought he had been lying to me all this time, that he voted Trent off to get to me..." \She looks mad again.\ "And it's Heather's fault all that happened."

* * *

Heather was sitting next to Ezekiel when they sat down for breakfast. The prairie boy was still stammering like an idiot, while she was sweet talking him. Bridgette, Tyler, Beth, and Gwen kept glancing over at the two, their scowls getting more and more dark every time they saw Heather lean close to Ezekiel, stroke his arm, or give him one of those sensual smiles.

"She makesth me sthick," Beth spat out, grabbing her fork and hurriedly eating her breakfast; Cody didn't dare tell her she had accidentally took _his_ fork.

"It's obvious what's she's up to," Gwen said in agreement, crossing her arms.

"Ummm... no, what?" Cody asked.

"Hello, Cody? She doesn't have any more allies left, and since she relies on her so-called friends and alliances to win this game, she has to have someone."

The goth girl narrowed her angry stare at Heather as she talked. "She disgusts me so much. It's bad enough that almost every couple has been separated because of her and Courtney, but she acts like it never happened; the girl was born without a conscious."

"Maybe we could get a sthurgeon," Beth remarked between mouthfuls. "Have her get a consthcious implant."

Gwen chuckled, then noticed Beth was eating quite a bit. "Um, Beth? Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeth, why?"

"Because you're eating that food... and a lot of it."

"I know... I'm sthurprised too, but it's actually good!"

Gwen tentatively took a mouthful, then her eyes bulged. "Oh sweet savior," she whimpered, "it is!" She began shoveling it into her mouth, much to Cody's surprise. Soon, all of the campers were eating as much as they could, calling out for seconds.

"This has gotta be some kind of trick or trap," Noah said to Eva, "but I don't care! Pass the ketchup!"

"Here, egghead," the fitness buff said as she thrust the bottle to him.

"Thanks, Gigantress."

"What did you call me?!" she snarled, glaring Eva-styled daggers at him.

After he flinched, he scowled back at her. "Oh sure, I don't get to call you names, but you can insult me all you want because of your big muscles. If my brain was a muscle and not a collection of nerves, I'd flatten you with my 'egghead'!"

Eva raised an eyebrow, then went back to eating her food, muttering, "Later, brainiac, later."

"You're awfully hostile this morning, Noah," Izzy remarked, balancing a spoon on her nose. "Miss Katie much?"

"You all should, because," he said, trying hard to concentrate as Izzy began to clean her ears with the handle of the spoon, "with her gone, I'm gonna be the same cynical Noah you all knew before."

"Bitter much?" Bridgette asked.

"Of course I am. She and I had only just started dating when she had to have herself voted off. And now-"

"You aren't going to reach second base for a while longer," Izzy said, grinning. "It's too bad, I would've put money down that you got to second base faster than any other couple here has."

Bridgette looked over at Izzy, trying to keep a straight face. "What makes you think all of the couples here have gone to second base?"

"Oh, not all of them," the redhead said. "I mean, I still don't know if you and Geoff have-"

"And you never will."

"I could ask Geoff, he might tell me!"

"You know, Izzy," Noah cut it, "you're lucky there are now three people who everyone wants to vote off ASAP. You're really creeping people out with your desire to know the intimate details of everyone's relationships."

"I just ask what everyone's thinking," Izzy protested, waving her hands in the air. "Everyone here wants to know how the couples are doing!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Maybe we'd be paired with the dressing room.)**

Bridgette - "... ... ... Okay, she's right. At least about me."

* * *

"You're the one always so negative, Noah," Izzy replied, waving her spoon at him; he leaned away from the ear waxy instrument. "And by the way, who are the three you mention?"

"Are you kidding, you don't know?" the brainiac replied. "Heather, Courtney, and Duncan!"

Bridgette looked over at Courtney, who was sitting with Duncan. The two looked guilty still, though it was more of a sense of body language than facial expression. Courtney looked slumped over, her eyes heavy, just tired as if she had a lot of weight on her. Duncan acted the same, just less so.

"You never know," Izzy said, still beaming. "I mean, people didn't vote Heather off when I shot her in the ass."

"I'll never understand why they punished you for that, Izzy," Noah replied with a smirk.

"I know, right?" the redhead imitated Lindsay, actually sounding a lot like her. "Hey Bridgette, would you have voted me off for shooting Heather in the..."

She stopped when she realized Bridgette was gone, heading over to Courtney and Duncan. The CIT looked startled to see her friend there. "Oh hi Bridgette," she muttered, looking away.

"Hey Courtney," the surfer girl said pleasantly, then turned to the tan-skinned girl's boyfriend. "Duncan."

"Yo yo, surfer girl."

"How are you two?"

"Feeling rotten," Courtney admitted. "Duncan and I were just talking, and... it's pretty obvious we're both done for in this competition."

"I wouldn't say that," said Bridgette.

"You're being too generous, Bridge, but you cannot speak for everyone," the CIT replied, then sighed deeply. "Especially Harold."

"Courtney, it's not over yet," the surfer girl said. "You're still in this competition, until the end. Harold's forgiven you, and you're not the only one who's worked with Heather in the past."

The CIT shook her head. "I just don't know, Bridgette. I don't even have the spirit for competition, and I always do! Even when I'm losing!" Bridgette patted her hand. "You'll get that spirit back."

"How come you're so nice, Bridgette?" her friend asked. "I was... so sure you'd be furious at me for having voted Geoff off."

"I was hurt," Bridgette admitted, "still am, a little. But I will see Geoff again. He isn't gone for good."

Courtney nodded, managing to look up at her friend. "I really didn't know you two hadn't seen each other that much after TDI."

"Only a couple times, to be..."

Her attention was diverted when she saw Heather coming close to pawing Ezekiel. Her face twisted in anger. "I cannot believe she's trying to seduce him."

"It's really quite typical of her," Duncan replied with a nod. "She'll do anything to win-"

They were interrupted when there was loud crashing from the kitchen.

"You get your hands off of my lucky spatula, tool boy," Chef Hatchet was screaming.

"You keep it with all the others," cried out a voice that none of the campers knew, "how am I supposed to know that was Sherry?!"

"Don't call her by her name out loud, I don't want those idiots out there knowing!"

"Fine. What do you want me to call her?"

* * *

Chris had escorted the thirteen campers out of the cafeteria, but he was unable to get Owen out of there; the large teenager wouldn't stop eating the delicious breakfast, and was eating so loud that they couldn't hear part of what Chris was saying.

"Now campers, your new challenge is gonna be-"

"NOM NOM, DELICIOUS, NOM NOM NOM-"

"... you are more than likely going to have problems with-"

"OOO KETCHUP DON'T MIND IF I DO!"

"... and thus I have decided to be generous, but be cruel by-"

"THIS IS AWESOME, I COULD EAT THIS ALL DAY-"

"... thus it is time to introduce your next challenge!"

He walked over to a large object covered by a tarp, and yanked it off. It revealed a large kart with four seats, two in front and two in back.

"You all are going for the Wawa-Kart-Na Grand Prix," Chris declared, throwing his hands up in the air. "And there are four teams are going to be driving-"

"OH THE FLAVOR SCREAMS TO ME, I LOVE IT, YUM YUM YUM-"

Chris closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he retained his patience. "You all will be driving the Wawa-Kart-Na Pinto 5000!"

"No no no no no no, Chris-o."

A young man about the same age as the campers approached them. He was wearing a brown jumpsuit, filthy with oil and dirt stains. He looked at Chris and then the kart with lazy eyes, the same kind Bridgette had. Running a hand through his scruffy brown hair, he chuckled.

"Chris, there's no way you're having these nice people drive this piece of crap," the new teenager said, shaking his head.

The host looked startled. "Why not, Joel?"

"Observe," he said before giving it a light kick to the front bumper.

The front bumper clanked off. Then the engine ejected from the front hood with a fiery explosion, and the seats unraveled, falling apart. The wheels collapsed and popped, the steering wheel rolled away, and the ashtray dropped out.

Chris blinked, then shrugged. "Well sure, it wasn't really built for swift kicks to the bumper."

Joel sighed, then shoved the host to the side. "No no no, my good host. What we need is the..."

He walked over to another object covered with a tarp, then yanked the protective cover off. It was another kart, similar to the first one except more more shiny and peppered with decals; it was an impressive sight to behold.

"... the Wawanakwa Love Buggie," the new teen said. He gave it a kick to the front bumper, and nothing happened. "Far more safe."

Harold and Cody began clapping. Tyler and Duncan let out wild cheers and pumped their fists in the air. Gwen and Izzy smirked, rubbing their hands together. The other campers didn't look as interested, but much more at ease than when they saw the Wawa-Kart-Na Pinto 5000.

"This is gonna be great," Izzy cheered. "I've gotta license, you know."

"_You_ are _not_ driving," Noah snapped, crossing his arms.

"Am too! I'll run over the other teams!"

"You proved his point," Duncan chimed in, "_you _are_ not_ driving!"

"Au contrarie," Joel replied, shaking his head. His voice stayed calm, despite how Izzy was now yelling about injustice, discrimination, and jellybean sympathizers. "In this challenge-"

"Hey, you're doing my job," Chris declared, pushing Joel by the shoulder.

"Well gee, Chris, what'd you invite me here for then?"

The host cleared his throat, then gestured to the brunette man. "This, everybody, is Joel. He is going to be one of the new challengers for the next season of Total Drama! He's the first chosen, that is."

Joel waved. "I look forward to seeing you all moreso next season."

"That's pretty cool," Gwen started, then her eyes bulged. "Wait a minute! We're gonna be forced into the next season too!?"

The young inventor blinked. "Um, didn't you know that?"

Gwen grabbed her hair, then let out a furious howl. Cursing under her breath and mumbling, she turned away from the host.

"I hadn't told them yet," Chris said, grinning.

"Apparently," Joel remarked, resting his wrench on his shoulder. "By the way, why'd you say they get the winners of this in-between seasons season get their choice on how they want to be on season two of Total Drama if all twenty-two of them are gonna be on it?"

"We hadn't written that far ahead."

Leaving a very confused Joel behind him, Chris stepped forward towards the thunderstruck campers. "Yes, you're all gonna be on the next Total Drama! But don't forget how you are all here to win ten thousand dollars!

"And the drama that has been taking place is... AWESOME!"

Speaking of awesome, the entire island shook as Owen let out an appreciative burp. "Well," Duncan remarked, "better that way than the other."

The island shook again as Owen farted, and everyone clamped their noses shut.

"_Well then_," Chris strained to say as he used both hands to clamp his nose shut, "you are going to be divided up into four teams of three, though one will have a fourth member.

"In this challenge, you will be driving all over this island, trying to find Hot Stops! Hot Stops are marked by a large board on a flagpole, where one member of the team has to get out and perform the task written on the board.

"Once the task is done, you will take the flag off the pole and keep it with you. There are fourteen Hot Stops on the island in total, and you need to have three flags to win. Finish line is back her, at the starting line.

"Now you have to have every member perform a task at a Hot Stop, the team with four members not withstanding. The driver has to switch after every Hot Stop. Once you get three flags, head back here."

Chris crossed his arms, proud to announce all of the rules. "Oh," he continued, "and if you total your kart-"

"Please don't," Joel shouted.

"... then your team is disqualified. The first two teams to get to the finish line with three flags win, or the last two teams standing. Any questions? Beth?"

The farm girl nodded, pleased to be acknowledged. "Well, I wath justht wondering why Joel wath here."

"Good question, Beth, you get a cookie," the host said as he tossed a peanut butter cookie to the young girl. "To answer that, Joel here was needed for this challenge. He is the first and so far only pick of season two, because of his audition tape."

"That's it?" Cody asked. "That impressive of a tape?"

"Well, it wasn't the tape itself, just that he flew it over to our headquarters to hand-deliver it."

"He has his own plane?!" Harold asked, looking awed.

"He built the darn thing," Chris pointed out.

The others took this in awed consideration, until Eva snapped, "Hey wait a minute! So it was _you_ who woke us up this morning!"

Joel blanched, though he continued to stare calmly. "Errm... yes. Chris's plane is in repairs, and he asked me to-"

He ducked as Eva hurled a rock at him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam x Dressing Room)**

Chris Maclean - "Ahhhh, that's how to sell your audience, folks. Show them a preview of what is in store next season, and they'll eat it up. Works well for Pokémon, I hear."

Izzy - "At first I thought Joel was the jelly bean smuggler, but he's clean. Well, as clean as a mechanic can be."

Noah - "Interesting future competition."

Joel - "Whoa, that Eva is mean. I hope I don't get paired up with her next season." \He looks around, then at the camera.\ "Wait, am I allowed to use this? ... Hehe, booyah."

* * *

Joel held up his hands in defense. "Hey, I did make you breakfast this morning!"

"Ooo, you made that?" Beth exclaimed, jumping into the air with joy. "It was deliciousth!"

"Thank you!"

Chris clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Now let me announce the teams so you all can get into those beautiful karts that Joel made for you!

"The first team will be the Sunday Drivers! On this team will be Tyler, Duncan, and Beth!"

The three exchanged glances. The jock and the punk exchanged grim looks, while Beth looked nervously at the tension between the two men.

"The second team will be the Tire Squealers! On this team will be Izzy, Bridgette, and Noah!"

Izzy clapped and leapt from foot to foot, giggling like the mad, crazy girl we all know and love. Bridgette and Noah both looked like they were requesting to "Dodge the Firing Squad."

"The third team will be the Vroom Vroomers! Woohoo! They will be Gwen, Cody, and Eva; hope you all have made up for the past struggles.

Cody smiled and looked over at Gwen, who smiled back. They looked over at Eva, who snarled in a non-smiling way.

"And the last team will be the Red Light Runners," Chris couldn't help but cackle as he looked at the remaining campers. "You all should have seen it coming: Ezekiel and Heather, Courtney and Harold!"

Courtney flinched, looking horrified. Harold's comforting smile to her didn't help much, since she stared at his wheelchair, guilt-ridden. Ezekiel was almost knocked over from surprise as Heather tackle-hugged him, wrapping her arms around him.

"You should all know that the winners of this team get a delicious dinner for tonight," Chris informed them, "while the two losing teams... get Chef's meatloaf, fresh off of Sherry!"

The campers gasped, gulped, and whimpered in horror. Chef's eyebrows and hands twitched, and he seriously came close to running over to the host and throttling him.

"Well then," Chris continued, "you all get a little time to get to know your teammates a little better, if you don't already! You have thirty minutes-"

He was interrupted as Ezekiel let out a sudden cry, leaping into the air. The campers whirled around to him as he pointed accusingly at Heather and cried out, "She pinched my butt, eh! What's that all a'boot?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Now that's Fresh TV!)**

Owen - "Hehe, what a lucky guy, pretty girl pinching his toosh."

Beth - "Heather being fresh makesth me sthick to my sthtomach."

Bridgette - \She snarls and clenches her fists.\

Joel - "Personally, I'm an E x H fan; she just really needs to change her attitude. I mean really, really, _really_..."

* * *

**(Sunday Drivers** - Tyler, Duncan, Beth.**)**

Tyler and Duncan continued to stare at each other, most unfriendly. Beth looked between the two, nervously tapping her fingers together.

"Tho...," she started.

"Look, jock boy," Duncan interrupted, "I know you and I have never really got along, but it's time for us to."

"Oh really, dude?" Tyler asked, crossing his arms so tight that it looked ridiculous. "Because I want to know one good reason why I should smash this car into a tree and vote you off!"

"You can't do that," Beth protested, waving her arms in the air. "I wanna drive that thing, it looksth tho cool!"

Duncan and Tyler looked at her, then at each other. "I...," Tyler started to say, scratching the back of his head, "actually really want to drive it too."

"Yeah, me too," Duncan admitted. "You know, us three, we're gonna be true Sunday Drivers out there, I can feel it! We're gonna shred those other teams!"

Tyler and Beth let out loud cheers. "To one helluva wild ride," Duncan continued his morale speech, "and to getting another delicious meal!"

"Yeth," Beth cheered.

"I'm gonna drag race this place to outer space," Tyler cheered.

* * *

**(Tire Squealers** - Izzy, Bridgette, Noah.**)**

Izzy was now struggling to get to the kart, squirming and squealing in joy. Noah's arms were the only thing holding her back, keeping her from hijacking the kart and spinning donuts in front of the cafeteria.

"And then I'm gonna rev up the engine outside my neighbor's house, because he always does that to me," Izzy ranted, cackling, "and then, I'm gonna hang more airtime than Chris gets with his airplane-"

"Can we get a leash or something?" Noah shouted to Bridgette.

"Don't be ridiculous," the surfer replied. "She'd chew through it." The environmentalist was too busy watching Courtney and Harold, and Ezekiel and Heather. She couldn't help but let her attention wander, as what her friends were going through was more troublesome than a hyper Izzy.

"Bridgette," Noah called to her, "will you get a tranquilizer? A sedative?"

"Noah, please, can't you handle the redhead?" Bridgette snapped back. Her mood was going sour, as Heather was behind Ezekiel, wrapping her arms around him and pressing up close.

"Look, you can watch Heather spoon Zeke later! Get me a glass of warm milk or something!"

"Honestly, Noah," Bridgette shouted, clenching her fists, "quit being so lazy and calm her down. It shouldn't be that hard!"

"A church choir doing slumber music couldn't relax her at this point!"

The surfer girl rubbed her temple, staring at the four in concern. Ezekiel was looking more nervous with every move Heather made, every step she took, Bridgette was watching them.

Noah finally let go of Izzy, and the redhead bolted for the kart. The brainiac started licking the steering wheel, and Noah realized she couldn't do more than that, mostly because he still had the keys.

"Look, Bridgette," Noah said, letting Izzy do whatever she wanted to do with the kart, "you've got a big circle of friends and you're close to them, right?"

"Yes...," she said, hesitantly, "how'd you know? You and I are hardly together during these challenges."

"You remind me of one of my sisters," Noah remarked, "attitude, concern, and even the ponytail."

Bridgette shrugged. She glanced over at Heather again and sighed. "Have you ever had really bad feelings about someone a friend or sibling of yours was into?"

"Except Zeke isn't into her."

"But she keeps coming on to him, and he's... he's not experienced with girls being treacherous."

"You worry too much. How could Ezekiel forget that Heather was the one who stole his Zed? ... Errr, Z medallion?"

"I don't know," Bridgette admitted as she narrowed her eyes at Heather, "but I'll be damned if I let her continue to hurt and manipulate people."

* * *

**(Vroom Vroomers** - Gwen, Cody, Eva.**)**

"And I'll be damned if I let Heather continue to survive Total Drama Comeback," Gwen declared. She was gripping Cody by the shoulders, almost shaking him. "You got that?"

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

"I can't hear you, lady britches," Eva yelled at him, punching his palm.

"MA'AM, YES MA'AM!"

"Good," Gwen shouted in complete drill sergeant / Chef form. She let go of Cody, then smiled at him. "Cody, I know you can do this. You've done pretty well this season, you did well last season-"

"Minus the bear," Eva quipped.

Gwen glared at her for a brief second, then turned back to Cody. "And I know you can do this well too! You want to drive first?"

"You just gimme the keys, Gwen," he said, beaming at her, "and I'll crash this challenge!"

"Hey wait wait wait," the fitness buff shouted, throwing her fists into the air. "I want to drive!"

"We all get to drive, Eva," the goth girl replied, rolling her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, I'm not being bossed around by you!"

Gwen and Eva glared at each other, Gwen erect and arms crossed, Eva hunched over and glaring up at her. Cody was half-excited to see a cat fight between the two ravenhaired girls, and half-terrified too; last thing he wanted to see was Gwen hurt.

"Um, girls?" he spoke up, trying to be referee. "Why not let Gwen drive first off?"

Eva and Gwen blinked. They loosened up, then looked at each other again. "Actually, I'm okay with that," Eva said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just didn't want the skinny boy try to control the kart first off."

"Gee, thanks," Cody replied, nervously chuckling.

* * *

**(Red Light Runners** - Ezekiel, Heather, Courtney, Harold.**)**

"So... how are we going to go about this?" Courtney asked Harold, her arms crossed behind her back. She couldn't help but continuously glance at his wheelchair.

"Well, I'm not exactly going to be able to drive the kart," the nerd replied, shrugging nonchalantly, "but if we could bring my crutches so I could do a challenge-"

"What?" Courtney cried out. "You, do a challenge? But these are Chris's challenges, you could get killed!"

"No different than any other challenge."

"But we have three other members, Harold, you don't need to do one."

"Except we all know Heather is not the biggest team player."

Courtney looked over at the queen bee, who was snuggling Ezekiel from behind; the prairie boy looked like a cobra or some other snake was slithering around him.

"Well, that is true," the CIT said, "but who is going to drive it?"

"How about you?"

"I'm not a good driver... because I've never driven before," she admitted, wringing her hands. "My dad owns a mini-van, and I was always worried I'd run over a convertible and not notice, so I stalled my driving lessons until... well, still haven't had them."

"Sorry to say this, but you're going to have to at first, Courtney," Harold said, pointing at Heather and Ezekiel. "If we let Heather drive, she'll try to get Ezekiel's attention and crash it. If we let Zeke drive, she'll try to seduce him as he drives, and he'll crash it."

Courtney chuckled nervously. "Probably true. You think Zeke likes her?"

"Dunno, but he shouldn't," he said, and the CIT nodded, glancing over at him again.

* * *

Chris looked over the four karts, with the thirteen campers inside. Joel stood nearby him, holding a checkered flag and looking anxious. "Campers, racers," the host shouted out to them, "are you ready to rev it up?"

Duncan was at the wheel for the Sunday Drivers, grinning like a wild maniac. Izzy was gripping the steering wheel of the Tire Squealers, grinning wilder than a wild maniac. Gwen was looking at those two, wondering for their sanity. Courtney gripped the steering wheel in a death grip, worrying and almost shaking.

"They look anxious, one way or another," Joel remarked. "In fact, if you don't shout 'go' soon, they might burst in anticipation."

"Okay then-"

They were cut off by a roar of an airplane engine. A helicopter, one that looked handmade, flew over the campers; Chef was in the pilot's seat, holding a megaphone.

"Alright you driving piles of puke," Chef roared, somehow louder than the small helicopter, "get your engines ready!"

"Get out of my helicopter, you big lug," Joel shouted, leaping up and down.

"You shouldn't have left the keys in it, mecha-boy," Chef shot back, grinning.

"Really? Then I'm gonna go introduce Sherry to the septic tank," the new boy retorted, stomping over to the cafeteria.

Chef cringed, then shouted into the megaphone, "Alright, all right, I'll get down! But campers, are you ready?"

"Yes," Duncan and his teammates shouted.

"Yes," Gwen and her teammates shouted.

"I'm gonna burn all the wheels of this kart off," Izzy roared.

"Please save us," her teammates shouted.

"Then ready...," Chef roared, "steady... get set... rev up... start up... prepare... and GO!!"

Two karts shot forth like bullets from gun barrels, Duncan's and Izzy's. Gwen's followed after, teammates rooting loudly for her. Courtney's kart putt-putt-putted after them, the kart looking as scared as the driver.

"Go faster, eh," Ezekiel shouted, waving his fists in the air. "C'mon, Courtney, we wanna go faster!"

"I don't dare go faster," the CIT whimpered, "I don't even know to drive!"

"I'll trust ya to go faster," the prairie boy shouted. "Now raise your hand if you wanna go faster-AWK!!"

Heather grabbed Ezekiel and pulled him close. "C'mon, you big boy, we have the back seat to ourselves!"

"What's that supposed to mean-AWK!"

The queen bee pulled him down in the back seat, and she began kissing his face and neck. Ezekiel was struggling, but also trying not to fall out of the kart in the process. Harold looked back at this, then over at Courtney.

"I think we should have had one of them up here," Harold remarked. "Gosh. They're going at it like you and Duncan, except he's resisting."

"Harold," the CIT chided him, her face flushing. She couldn't help but giggle as she continued to drive the kart.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not quite the back seat...)**

Izzy - "Zoom zoom, little Izzy buggy, she's real fine my kart of mine, and I'll have fun fun fun..." \She begins humming a lot of songs mixed into one, miming a steering wheel in front of her.\

Tyler - "Okay, I may be mad at Duncan, but he's one helluva driver! Cowabunga, baby!"

Gwen - "It's really fun to drive one of these things! That Joel guy's pretty good at making these things. Better than those Wawa-Kart-Na Pinto 5000s, they were probably Chris's idea."

Heather - \She smacks her lips then looks up at the ceiling in thought.\ "Zeke's actually, when not fighting like a wussy, a lot of fun to try and kiss... don't think I'll tell him that, but I can sure admire it. Would be more fun if he didn't struggle..."

\Her eyes go wide.\ "Wait a minute, what the hell am I saying?! No, it's part of the stradegy! I don't like him! No no no no no..."

* * *

Chris watched the karts race across the island, chuckling mostly at how Izzy's driving was making Bridgette cling to her seat for dear life, and Noah puking over the side.

"Hit a squirrel there," the host remarked.

"Sad sobbing saints, the poor thing," Owen shouted, bursting into tears.

"No no no, Owen, I meant Noah's puke hit the squirrel."

"Oh... well, I still feel bad for him."

Chris nodded, then sighed as one of the television screens started to blur. "Oh hell. Joel, can you fix that?"

"I'm on it," the young inventor said, fiddling with the wires behind the screen. Soon the blur disappeared. "There you go, Chris, and none too soon. After all, we need to know...

"**Which two teams are going to win this racing contests? And what are the challenges that await them at the Hot Stops?**

**Do Courtney and Duncan have any chance to survive should they lose? Does Heather? Is she trying to give Ezekiel the tongue?**

"**Is Izzy completely psychotic? Is Duncan? Is this relationship between Heather and Ezekiel going to work if she keeps going 'no no no no no'?**

"Tune in for the exciting part of Day 10 on Total... Drama... COMEBACK!"

Chris watched as Joel shouted at the camera, then he nearly blew up. "You stole all my lines," he yelled, waving his hands in the air. Chef and Owen began laughing at the host, pointing at him and jeering.

**Part 2, shift to Gear 2.**

* * *

--

--

--

Yes, yes, yes! I am planning to write out season two, with my own twenty-two original campers joining up with our beloved twenty-two originals. Joel is the Inventor, and I hope you like him. He is like Owen and Harold, based off a certain popular character. Hehe!

**Sunday Drivers** - Tyler, Duncan, Beth.

**Tire Squealers** - Izzy, Bridgette, Noah.

**Vroom Vroomers** - Gwen, Cody, Eva.

**Red Light Runners** - Ezekiel, Heather, Courtney, Harold.


	31. Day 10, Part 2: Mortal KartBat!

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Seat belts are installed into the fanfiction, and it is required by law that you wear them; you aren't cool if you think they're not necessary.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - I've sent replies. If you got two replies to one review, then it's because I love reviewing. And please, write as much as you can! They allow that many characters for a reason!

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 31 (Day 10, Part 2)** - Wawanakwa Kart: Double Rash!!

* * *

Joel sat in a reclining chair, tossing popcorn kernel after kernel into the air, all landing into his mouth. He munched them as he watched the multiple cameras, thoroughly enjoying his karts being used on national TV.

"Better than being on the show, I think," he said between kernels to Owen. "My golly gee, they look good, don't they?"

Owen nodded, trying to mimic Joel's popcorn catching skill. Sadly, all of the large teen's kernels wound up on the floor. This would have discouraged most people from eating them, but Owen was not most people.

"Do you have to lick the floor too, dude?" Chris asked his intern, disgusted.

"Well, I don't want to lose any of that butter."

"Ah, butter," Joel remarked, grinning. "The condiment that makes so many foods worth it."

Chef nodded, then took a pot of melted butter and poured it in one bowl. Butter ran out the sides but the giant cook still ate it. Joel felt slightly sick watching this.

"Want some more popcorn on your butter, Chef Hatchet?" he asked.

"Nuff, Ah'f fawn," muttered Chef with a full mouth, butter running down his mouth; Joel felt more sick watching this.

"Butter gives me gas, by the way," Owen admitted.

"Oh crap," Chris shouted, running out of the tent. His guest for next season was prepared, however, and the inventor put on a gas mask.

"Hehe, you look like you got a snout," the overweight teen remarked. Then he belched. Then he farted. The green gas of it all slowly filled the tent, but Joel seemed unfazed.

Then Chef Hatchet belched. Then he farted. The tent was full with green gas now. Joel's eyes began to water.

"Mah nose," he shouted as he ran out of the tent, "ze gas mahsk does naw'ting!"

* * *

Noah's motion sickness medicine was also doing nothing. His vomit had managed to hit a raccoon, deer, badger, and a chipmunk; oddly enough, Izzy's near-suicidal driving had failed to hit anything.

"Go, Izzy Racer," the redhead was singing happily, "go Izzy Racer, gooooo!"

"I...," Noah heaved, after heaving, with heavy eyes glaring at the back of her head, "am going... to kill you, Izzy!"

"So am I," Bridgette wailed, clinging to her seat and whiter than sour cream.

"I'll raise you from the dead so Bridgette can kill you again," the know-it-all sputtered as he pulled himself back in the kart.

"I'll raise you again after killing you again for a third shot," the surfer girl added.

"And then I'm gonna vote you off this island!"

Izzy looked around at them, which terrified them more since she should have been looking ahead of her; she still wasn't hitting anything, but that doesn't ease a passenger's worries. "I never took you two for being that violent," she stated, quite calm, "or into voodoo."

"Who's into voodoo?" Noah asked. "Not all necromancers are witch doctors!"

"But that's the best kind of necromancy!"

Bridgette didn't know how they could have opinions about this kind of stuff, and frankly, she didn't care at this point. Other than the hope that if she was about to die, it'd be painless and quick.

"Can you please slow down?" she whimpered to Izzy.

"Don't you nuts want to win?" the crazy girl yelled, pushing the gas pedal more.

"_You_ are calling _us_ crazy?!" Noah shouted, indignant once again. "That's rich! That's like getting a moral lecture from someone in jail!"

"Are you comparing me to jailbirds?"

"Your driving should result in you being in jail!"

"That's it, you bigheaded bighead, I'm driving it up a notch," the redhead screamed, then stomped on the gas pedal hard with a, "BAM!"

"No... please...," Bridgette whined as the wind blew her face and hair back, her ponytail smacking Noah in the face.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I Am Iron Cam!)**

Noah - "Izzy should be locked up. With a straight jacket on. In a room with padded walls. And people in white uniforms being very nice to her so as not to provoke her."

Raccoon - \splattered with vomit, speaking with English subtitles\ "holy hel, wht waz tht kid eatin today, huh?"

* * *

Heather snuggled up to Ezekiel, having lightened her attempts to, in a nutshell, be all over him. Her being this way was distracting, to say the least, but it wasn't as bad as Courtney had it.

"Am I going too fast?" she whimpered.

"Courtney, you were passed by a turtle a few minutes ago," Harold said, visibly frustrated. "Can't you pick it up a little? Gosh!"

"But I don't want to hit anything!"

"Then look a'heed of you while you drive, eh," Ezekiel cried out. "C'mon Courtney, the others have probably visited a Hot Spot by now!"

As luck would have it, they turned a corner around a large rock formation, and a Hot Spot was right in front of them. A towering loop de loop, Courtney shrank into her seat as if it were a giant monster.

"Sweet," Harold shouted enthusiastically. He pointed to a sign nearby it, which Courtney pulled up to. "Let's see what this challenge is:

"_Loop de Loop._

_Drive your kart around this Loop de Loop to claim the flag. You may try as many times as you and your kart can take it_."

"Doesn't say much about the passengers," Heather noted after Harold was done reading it. "That's Chris for you."

"Well, which one of you wants to do this?" Courtney asked the others after a second's pause.

"Me," Ezekiel spoke up, "I'll do it-AWK"

As he tried to get out of the kart, Heather yanked him back in. "You're staying back here with me."

"No, I'm not," the toque-wearing teen replied, trying again to leave the kart, "because I'm gonna do this challen-"

"You're staying back here and holding me while we go around that thing," the queen bee yelled, tugging him back in.

"Guys, I'm trying to leave, but she keeps pulling me back in," Ezekiel explained to his teammates.

"No problem, Zeke man," Harold said, then turned to Courtney. "You gotta do it."

"What? No! I couldn't possibly-

"Heather won't let Zeke, and I'm not exactly able to drive," the brunette nerd pointed out. "You gotta do it."

"C-Can't we just skip this one and move on to the next?"

"You know that if we leave it, one of the other teams will ace it. Like say... Izzy?"

The CIT realized that if anyone would be okay with driving up this daredevil track, it would be the daredevil. "But... but..."

"Courtney, you can do this," Harold declared. "Ya just gotta believe!"

"Please do it soon, eh," Ezekiel whimpered from the back, "Heather's gripping my arm so hard, I'm losing feeling in my fingertips."

The CIT took several breaths, then backed the kart up. Revving up the engine, she sped forward. Screaming as the wind blew her hair back, she aimed dead center at the Loop de Loop. Harold raised his hands and whooped as the kart went from ninety degrees to upside-down. Heather and Ezekiel screamed, clutching each other.

The kart raced back down the other side, tires squealing as Courtney hit the brakes. There was a few seconds of heavy panting, then the CIT let out a triumphant shout.

"That was _awesome_," she cried out.

"So very wicked," Harold agreed.

"Let's do it again!"

"No no no no," Ezekiel and Heather shouted from the back.

With a shrug, Courtney merely drove over to the sign post and removed the flag. "That's one, people. Now who's next driving?"

She looked at Ezekiel and Heather, who were still holding each other tight. She cocked an eyebrow and added, "Or do you want some time alone?"

"I'll drive, I'll drive, I'll drive," Ezekiel chanted. He managed to writhe his way out of Heather's grip, and place himself in the driver's seat.

"Can you drive?" Harold asked him as the prairie boy buckled up.

"I've driven the tractor back home, eh. This should be a little like that."

"About several tons lighter, though."

"Yeah," he replied. He began to push down on the gas pedal. "So how much pressure do I need to appl-"

The kart raced off again. Ezekiel grabbed his toque and proceeded to drive with one hand, which made Courtney wince in fear. She noticed that Heather didn't look that nervous; in fact, she looked as smug as a popular, rich girl could.

"What are you so happy about?" Courtney asked her.

"We did win our first flag, Courtn-"

"You know what I mean," the brunette snapped at her. "You've been wrestling with Ezekiel like if you two were Geoff and Bridgette at the Playa de Losers. What are you trying?"

The ravenhair merely shrugged. "Strategy."

"By switching tactics? You claim you hate his guts every time someone brings him up, then you act like you two are, I dunno, in..."

She finally managed to spit it out, like if it was a foul word, "... in _heat_ or something!"

Heather chuckled, smirking at her. "You don't understand, do you Courtney?"

"I don't think I want to," the CIT replied, turning away. "Flirting with a guy to get him to do what you want brings women down to the lowest peg. I don't see how you can justify this sudden change of mood any other way."

The queen bee looked the other way too, scowling. If anyone was looking at her, they would've seen a look of sorrowful confusion cross her face.

* * *

_Heather's dream didn't have the bear dancing in it, and it was taking place on Wawanakwa Island, on the Dock of Shame. She was pretty sure it was a dream though, because the stars and moon were gloriously bright, harmonic music that usually accompanied Justin drifted in with the tide, and there was a mermaid waltzing with the man-eating shark._

_And Ezekiel was there, wearing the most handsome suit she had ever seen; however, he still had on his dorky toque. Flashing her a sly grin, he pulled her up to her feet._

_"Hello, beautiful," he said. "Why alone here on the Dock of Shame?"_

_"What... I'm not alone...," Heather started to say._

_"You've always been alone," the dream Ezekiel replied. "Every dream you've had is you alone, brooding and lonely."_

_"I am not!"_

_"You think you can fool your dream?" he replied. "All of this is based on what you're thinking."_

_"Well, I don't want a romantic night with you, Zeke," she harumphed, turning away. "Maybe, just _maybe_, I'd like to have some time with you, but I-"_

_"You're so in denial. There are two Heathers, as far as I'm concerned."_

_Heather felt the presence of someone standing next to her, and she was most startled when she saw who it was: her. Her with angelic wings, a pure white toga, a glowing halo over her head, and holding a harp._

_"You need to take a good look at yourself, me," Angel Heather said. "That tail isn't very alluring."_

_This was one of the weirdest things Heather had heard (aside from anything Izzy said) until she felt something swish around her hips. She looked down and saw a devil's tail whipping around. She cried out in terror._

_"Who put me in these tacky pants?" she shouted. The queen bee was now wearing red pants, which looked like a dancer's tights. She was wearing a low-neckline, long-sleeved shirt as bright red like the pants. The queen bee was also suddenly holding a pitchfork, and her forehead felt heavy._

_"Horns?!" she cried out as she felt what had suddenly appeared on her head._

_"Devil Heather and Angel Heather," Ezekiel summed up what had transpired. "The two Heathers. And Devil Heather is the one that always shows, eh."_

_"There's no angel me," Heather shouted. "Being 'nice' is such crap! It gets you nowhere."_

_Ezekiel slung his arm around Angel Heather, who held him back. "You're so wrong there, eh," he replied, grinning still. "Just because you've had bad experience doesn't mean nice doesn't profit."_

_He pulled a small photo from his pocket and showed it to the Devil Heather. When the horned girl took it, her face blanched and a cold sweat came down her forehead._

_It was a picture of her in her youth, pimply and overweight and brace-faced. "No no no...," she whimpered, beginning to panic. "Where did you get that? HOW DID YOU KNOW, EZEKIEL?!"_

_"It's a dream, Heather," the prairie boy replied. "I know everything you know."_

_Still quivering, Devil Heather threw the picture into the water and picked up her pitchfork. "Don't make me use this."_

_Angel Heather swatted the three-pointer out of her hands, where it landed in the water. The pure queen bee grinned at the corrupted version of herself. "You better get your act together," she said, "before you start growing horns for real."_

_After that, she woke up._

* * *

Heather felt her forehead as the kart drove on. When she started checking her butt for a tail, Courtney saw this.

"Seat uncomfortable, Heather?" "Checking for a tail," she muttered unconsciously. "GAH! I mean-"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Transform and roll on!)**

Heather - "That dream was plenty clear. I be nice to Ezekiel, things will get better. I may not be an angel, but being 'nice' is the way to go so I can get an ally: Zeke. There's no way he suspects me."

Ezekiel - "I suspect Heather is trying to be nice to me so I will be her ally, eh. I thought a girl trying to be all over me would be fun... but it's not, eh! It's like wrestling an octopus... or..." \he shudders\ "... C'thulu!"

* * *

Gwen came to a screeching stop nearby a large cave. A very familiar cave to some of the campers, and one that most wouldn't want to get anywhere near.

"The bear cave has a Hot Stop?" Eva asked aloud, raising an eyebrow. "Doesn't Chris put that bear through enough?"

Cody began shaking, which Gwen noticed. The goth girl looked over at the Hot Stop sign:

"_Bear Cave Raid._

_One of your campers must go into the bear cave, snatch the picnic basket from the back, and bring it back to the kart (enjoy the food inside). The bear may or may not be in there_."

Eva raised her eyebrow again. "That's easy. Here, I'll go get-"

"No," Cody shouted, quite suddenly. "I want to do this."

Gwen looked at him incredulously. "What? Cody, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. We may need Eva for something more challenging than this."

The fitness buff looked at him as if she didn't understand how this scrawny boy grew a spine. "The bear that mauled you last time may be in there."

"If so, drive like heck, Gwen," the tech-geek replied as he left from the kart and started to head into the cave.

Gwen gripped the steering wheel tight. Eva crossed her arms and tapped her fingers against her strong muscles.

"Shouldn't I drive next?" the muscular girl asked the goth. "After he's done in there?"

"Fine."

After the switch, Eva cracked her knuckles. Then she tapped her foot against the pedal. Then she growled in impatience.

"What's taking him so long?" she growled.

"He's probably still looking, Chris probably hid it somewhere."

"It's a cave," Eva shouted, "how hard do you have to LOOK!?"

After she burst out, the world around them shook as a bear's furious roar came from the cave. Cody, holding a picnic basket and terrified, came out of the cave with the large, brown bear in pursuit.

"DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE," the brunette nerd screamed as he jumped into the kart, landing on Gwen in the back seat. Eva revved up the engine and shredded grass, kicking up dirt and smoke into the bear's face. It winced and growled as the kart sped away.

"Um, Cody?" Gwen muttered. "You can get off me now."

"Huh? Oh," Cody scrambled to get in the other back seat. "Sorry about that."

"I'll let it slide this time," the goth girl said as she straightened out her black clothing, "since you were running for your life."

"I almost peed my pants when that bear woke up," the tech-geek continued, "and I'm not sure how that happened. I was certain I was quiet..."

Gwen glared at the back at Eva's head, while the fitness buff shrunk down in her seat a little. "Um, so," Eva stammered, "what's in the picnic basket?" Cody pulled out a few sandwiches, a banana bunch, a six-pack of sodas, and a pot of honey. The three teens ate up hungrily.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - What's all this then?)**

Gwen - "Real food..." \She sighs happily and leans back.\ "So much better than that crap they serve us."

Cody - \grinning like a cheshire cat\ "Gwen is so soft..." \He sighs happily too.\

Eva - \sighs happily and crosses her arms\ "I love driving that kart."

* * *

The Tire Squealers stopped in front of a Hot Stop; it was in front of a very large tree. Noah, after recovering somewhat from his motion sickness, got out to read it.

"_Lumberjack Routine._

"_You must chop down the mightiest tree on Wawanakwa Island. WITH... A HERRING!_"

Noah blinked. "You gotta be kidding me."

"Here's the herring," Izzy cried out, standing next to the tree. She grabbed it and started hacking against the tree. "Gimme a minute, I'll have it down soon!"

"Izzy, it'll take a million minutes," the egghead snapped at her, rolling her eyes. "Stop trying."

"That's quitter talk!"

Noah slapped his forehead and cast an eye at Bridgette. With each slimy smack of fish against tree, the know-it-all's faith in today's generation fell. He continued to stare, an intense look of frustration on his face.

"Shouldn't we take her back to the kart and try to find a new one?" Bridgette asked.

"No, let her learn the hard way," Noah replied, not bothering to look back at the blond surfer. "Plus, the longer she doesn't get to drive, the happier my stomach is."

Bridgette scoffed, looking away. "Fine, fine. I'm gonna take a quick look around and see if there are any more Hot Spots around."

"I doubt Chris would put one so close to the other."

"But that one is obviously a joke, so a real one might be around!"

"You keep talking as if Chris has a heart. Faith in humanity should have been destroyed by now."

The blond surfer rolled her eyes and headed off, hands in her jacket's pockets.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Loading. Please Wait.)**

Bridgette - "How can Noah be so negative over a little Izzy-craziness? I mean, he got himself a girlfriend here!"

Noah - "I really miss Katie, but I know she's friends with Izzy. Do I have to make friends with Izzy too?" \He shivers.\

* * *

Tyler and Beth were whooping, holding their arms up in the air as Duncan flew the kart over bumps and hills.

"Woohoo," Tyler cheered, "this is better than any roller coaster!"

"I could do this all day," Beth cheered in agreement. "You're a great driver, Duncan!"

"Thanks," the punk replied. "I should get a license!"

Coming to a spinning, screeching halt at a Hot Stop, the punk grinned as he leaned over the side to read the sign.

"_Stake Your Love._

_You must take one of the signs attached to this sign, and stake it against the tree nearby. You must use the sledgehammer leaning against the tree to stake the sign to the tree._"

Tyler, spirits and excitement amplified by the kart ride, pumped his fists into the air. "I'll do this one! This should be loads of fun!"

"Are you sthure thisth will be sthafe?" Beth asked, looking nervous at the sledgehammer. "Thisth doesthn't look very easthy."

"That makes it more fun," the athlete shouted as he looked through the signs. "Let's see... Geoff and Bridgette, Duncan and Courtney, Gwen and Trent, Izzy and Owen, Leshawna and Harold, Heather and... Ezekiel?! Yuck."

He tossed that one away, then continued. "Noah and Katie... oh, here it is! Lindsay and Tyler! Woohoo!"

The athlete bolted over to the tree with the sign in his hand. He tapped one of the stakes into the tree, then pulled back the sledgehammer.

"This one's for you, Lindsay," he shouted out, then swung. He missed the stake and hit the sign, shattering it violently.

Tyler screamed out in horror. Beth winced. Duncan grinned. "You're not doing mine, dude," the criminal remarked.

Almost in tears as he held the shattered remains of the 'Lindsay and Tyler' sign, the athlete hurried back to get another of the signs. Beth and Duncan watched as Tyler tried to stake Izzy and Owen. This one also became a smashed mess.

"This should be fun to watch," Duncan remarked as Tyler stomped on the pieces of the signs in frustration.

"He really putsth a lot of effort into what he doesth," Beth said.

They continued to watch, Beth shouting support and Duncan barking laughter as Tyler continued to stake a sign to the tree. Leshawna and Harold, Noah and Katie, and Duncan and Courtney all became smashed splinters, and the athlete was losing his patience.

"One of the funniest things I've seen," Duncan giggled as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"You're being rather mean, Duncan," Beth snapped at him, glaring at him through those thick glasses of hers. "Why do you have to be tho mean? I know you're not a bad persthon."

"Hey hey, I'm just who I am," the punk shrugged.

"Do you have to be so blunt, though?"

Duncan thought back to something that had been on his mind for some time now.

* * *

_"Duncan," Courtney said to her boyfriend, "I have something to tell you."_

_The chaos of Harold nearly being killed by puréed gummi slugs was getting to her, and she had to talk to someone._

_"Really, Princess?" Duncan asked, cocking his eyebrow. "So do I."_

_"Mine's pretty big."_

_"Mine's bigger, Princess."_

_"Stop calling me that!"_

_"Mine's still bigger."_

_"Duncan," she almost shouted, but she managed to quiet herself down, "I did it."_

_"What?"_

_"I...," she wrung her hands, looking very nervous. "I put those gummi slugs in all the soup bowls."_

_"Whoa," was all Duncan could say at first. After a few seconds of awkward silent, he asked, "How'd you know?"_

_"I found his original allergy sheet," she admitted. "Oh Duncan... I wanted revenge, but I didn't want... to kill him." She slumped against the wall and slid down, tears in her eyes. "This is too much."_

_"Hey hey hey," Duncan came over to her, cupping her face in his hand. "Harold is not going to die. Trust me, he won't. The guy's a survivor."_

_The CIT looked up at him with misty eyes, then looked down. "I've become something awful, Duncan. I doubt I could look myself in the mirror."_

_The punk lifted her chin. "Baby, you aren't a monster or a creep. I would know, I'm both."_

_It didn't cheer her up. He kissed her lightly on the lips and whispered, "I won't tell anyone. Harold will be voted off, and it'll be all over. He'll be fine, he'll be with Leshawna on that sweet resort."_

_Courtney stared at him, then managed to smile. "Duncan... I cannot believe I'm seeing you like this. I half-expect you to say something to make fun of me."_

_"Not this time, Princess."_

_Sighing at her unwanted nickname, she still managed to smile. Even though she hated being called that, he said it with so much affection, it didn't bother her much this time. "So... what was your secret?"_

_"That I know you did it."_

_"How'd you know?"_

_"A guess. You proved it right, Princess."_

* * *

Duncan shrugged. "I can be serious, Beth, just not now. Not when I see Tyler crushing all the couples here."

Beth couldn't help but laugh as he watched Tyler break Heather and Ezekiel, then smash it into more pieces when it fell on the ground.

With sweat running from his forehead, Tyler finally managed to stake the Gwen and Trent one into the tree. Snatching the flag, he sat down in the kart in a huff. "Beth," he said between heaving pants, "you can drive."

As they drove off, Bridgette walked around some trees to see their departure. She walked up to the sign and sighed as she noticed the victory flag was missing from the Hot Spot. Then she noticed the last of the couples' signs.

She walked back to her kart, wearing the Geoff and Bridgette sign around her neck. "No luck, Noah," she called out to him. "The nearest Hot Spot was completed by another team."

"Well, I have bad news too," Noah replied, looking up from the book he was reading in the back seat of the kart, "Izzy has failed to chop down the tree with a herring. And when she took a break, some duck came up and stole her weapon."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Your call is important to us.)**

Izzy - "Well, at least I tried."

Noah - "I still cannot believe she tried that."

Groucho the Duck - \Quacking indignantly, there are English subtitles as he waves his wings in the air.\ "That crazy, redhead human had my lunch! And she was bashing it against a tree! She's nuts, I tell ya! I'm glad she's on our side, the evil fanatics don't stand a chance against her!"

* * *

Bridgette and Noah sat in the back as Izzy got back in the driver's seat, grumbling to herself as she sped ahead. "At least she's going a mite slower this time," Noah said to Bridgette.

"Yep."

"Nice sign, by the way."

"Thanks," she said, then sighed. "Gods, I miss Geoff."

"Well, I think your never-ending making out would have distracted you during these challenges."

Bridgette blushed and covered her red cheeks. "Geoff and I didn't make out that much."

"I hate to break it to you, but there was one day at Playa de Losers where you two missed breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Both of you had lips more swollen than Angelina Jolie."

The surfer blushed more, then blanched when Izzy shouted from the front, "And I got it all on film!"

* * *

The Red Light Runners approached a Hot Stop that was in front of a field of peculiar looking plants. Ezekiel read the sign out loud:

"_Poison Ivy Wade._

_Please walk from this side of this small field of poison ivy to the other side. You may go around it on the way back. And if you think you'll be safe in shoes and long pants... hehehehe._"

"Poison ivy?!" Courtney declared.

"That really doesn't sound good, eh," Ezekiel noted.

"Then it's perfect for me," Harold said cheerfully. "I can wade through, and since I cannot feel anything in my legs, I can get all the poison ivy rash I can take!"

Ezekiel smiled in agreement. Courtney winced in disagreement.

"Wait wait wait," the CIT replied. "You cannot do this just because you cannot feel your legs, Harold."

"I'll be fine, Courtney."

"But... but...," she stammered. She wanted to say how she was worried that someone with a large amount of allergies shouldn't be wading through poison ivy. "Harold, are you sure?"

"Sure," Harold replied, lifting his crutches up in the air. "I got these, and I can-"

They were suddenly swiped from his hands by Heather. "Stop being so overcautious," the queen bee snapped. "I'll just do this stupid challenge, and none of us will get the rash."

"What are you doing, Heather?" Courtney asked.

"You can use these as stilts, see?" Heather replied, as she stood on the handlebars, sitting on the armrests and holding them as she started to, very awkwardly, walk towards the poison ivy.

"Gosh," Harold remarked. "That looks...," he then tried to suppress wheezy laughter, "really... really dorky!"

He burst out laughing. "Shut up," Heather shouted at him. "You calling me dorky? That's rich, Four Eyes!"

"Why are you doing this, Heather?" Courtney called, trying desperately not to laugh too.

"Because I've done this, Harold is crippled, you did a challenge...," she looked over at Ezekiel and winked slyly, "and I wouldn't want my Zeke to get hurt here."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Mouse not found, please left-click to continue.)**

Harold - "Ugh. When she said that, I threw up in my mouth a little."

Ezekiel - "My stomach did all kinds of flip-flops, and I didn't knoo' if it was good or not, eh."

Heather - "When I was younger, I broke a leg practicing ballet. I managed to learn how to walk like that in fun, until my evil brother tried to film it."

* * *

Heather then did a stilts-walk into the poison ivy. Harold, Courtney, and Ezekiel watched, half-hoping she'd make it across and half-hoping she'd fall.

Groucho the Duck, licking his wing tips for the last bits of herring, saw Heather on those stilts, and freaked. Quacking in fury, he flew towards her head and began pecking on her head.

"Ow! Stop it! Stupid duck," she screamed as she desperately swatted at the fowl.

"That duck probably thinks she's an enemy troop trying to avoid the land mines planted by us," Harold shouted. Courtney and Ezekiel looked over at him with strange looks, and he looked to the side. "I mean, that's what I think he's thinking right now."

"It's a _duck_, Harold-" Courtney started to say, then there was a loud shriek. Heather toppled over and fell in poison ivy.

As she sat up screaming her head off, Harold scratched behind his ear. "Dang. I did that once in Possum Scouts, and it felt like heck."

As Heather continued to scream, standing up and fervently rubbing herself, Ezekiel started to go after her. "No, Zeke," Courtney said to him, grabbing his shoulder. She then called out to the queen bee, "Heather, quick, get through the poison ivy now! We'll drive back to camp to get itching cream!"

Heather did as Courtney instructed, cursing heavily; her three teammates winced at some of the things she said. As she made it through, she bolted over to the kart. "Drive," she shouted, "NOW!!"

Courtney looked at her. "But Zeke and I have driven already, you need to-"

"No," Heather barked, "I am already starting...," she began to scratch her arms, "... to itch!"

The solution looked very ridiculous. Harold was sitting in the driver's seat, hands on the wheel. Courtney was sitting next to him, their legs pressed together as she operated the pedals with her feet. Ezekiel was rubbing Heather's skin, which was starting to redden.

"Ow ow ow...," she whimpered, "this... really... hurts!"

"We'll be at camp soon," Courtney said, comfortingly. "Just hang on, Heather!"

"No," Heather snapped, glaring at the CIT. "We got two flags now. Go find a third one, then we will win, you got that?!"

"But... you practically bathed in poison ivy. Don't you want to get some-"

"No, I don't want to lose this, damn it," the reddening ravenhair raged. "If we lose this, then those losers are going to leap on the opportunity to vote... one of us off! Now go find a third Hot Spot and..."

She began to strain, scratching herself and whimpering. Ezekiel began rubbing her back in circles. "Gaaah... hahhhh... oh God... this HURTS!"

Courtney looked back at the suffering queen bee. "Are you sure that-"

"Yes," Heather cried out, already in agony. "For the love of God... stop talking..."

Heaving as she writhed in the back, Heather managed to look up to Ezekiel. "Hey babe?" she asked, managing to smile despite her pain. "If you could... ow... a little... ow... lower?"

Ezekiel nodded and massaged her lower back. Harold and Courtney exchanged looks.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Cam SMASH.)**

Courtney - "Okay... Heather really needs to learn some limitations! Victory is important, I love to win more than... well, anyone I know. But if I was in that much agony, I would be begging them to get me itch cream, and promise them that I'd convince the others not to vote them off."

Heather - "I have to win this, no matter what. It doesn't matter what Courtney did or that Duncan helped, all those losers will be thinking about is how I helped. And they'd vote me off, because of their stupid grudges. Man, I hate these people; it's almost impossible to understand how they could hate a popular girl like me."

Ezekiel - \is looking at his hands incredulously\ "I... I had my hands on her... I almost touched her butt, eh!" \He looks at the camera desperately.\ "If only she wasn't screaming in pain and scratching herself like if her skin needed to come off, eh."

* * *

The Sunday Drivers and Vroom Vroomers met up at the same Hot Spot. Exchanging challenging glares.

"This Hot Spot is ours, punks," Eva roared. "Don't make me," she cracked her knuckles, "get rough with you!"

"Bring it on, Ms. Mortal Kombat," Duncan shouted back, shaking his fist at her.

"Fight! Fight! Round one, fight," Cody chanted.

"If you two are done flirting," Gwen said, rolling her eyes, "shouldn't we at least find out what the Hot Spot challenge is?"

Beth ran up to the sign and read it out loud:

"_Fiery Jump Rope._

"_Do thirty jumps in the jump rope that will appear just as soon as you're done reading this._"

A short distance from the Hot Spot sign, a rope about thirty feet long caught fire. Connected to two posts, the rope began to swing. Over and over, in a classic jump rope movement, the flaming rope was a roaring scare.

"_That's_ the challenge?!" Duncan shouted, looking horrified.

Even Eva looked intimidated. "Wait a minute," the fitness buff declared, "how the hell did he turn that on when Beth was done reading it?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - You killed my father, prepare to die.)**

Chris - \one-hand juggling a remote\ "Hehe, that Joel sure made a fine invention there. My genius ideas and his handy skills, we could go far."

Joel - \staring blankly at the camera\ "... If he tells them I made that challenge, I don't stand a chance in season two. ... Or season three! Jeepers, don't they plan this things out?"

* * *

Beth let out a happy squeal and jumped into the center of the flaming rope. After three leaps, Gwen was suddenly in there too, leaping.

"Count the jumps," Tyler shouted, already using his fingers. Cody did too, very much enjoying watching Gwen and Beth jump up and down. As they leapt to avoid the burning rope, Beth and Gwen couldn't help but break into song.

--

_Chris Maclean is evil, he's pleasant as a rash_

_If I could get away with it, I'd kick him in the-_

_Actually I'm driving, a kart that's rather swell_

_I wish I could run over Chris, and send him straight to-_

_Heather is a schemer, she's really quite a witch_

_I want to shave her hair off, to punish that mean-_

_Bet Chef Hatchet is listening, or he's skulking in the kitch_

_I'd really hate to tell him, but his cooking tastes like-_

--

The song ended abruptly when Beth's pant leg caught fire. Screaming in terror, she ran out of the rope's pathway and leapt onto the ground, rolling in the grass to put out the fire. Gwen watched, managing to keep up the rhythm until Cody called out to her.

"Gwen, you got thirty jumps," he shouted, "you can get out of there!"

The goth girl eagerly left the circle of the flaming rope, which extinguished and stopped swinging once she was out. Beth, laying on the ground and panting, gave her a little wave as the goth girl hugged her teammates in victory.

As the Vroom Vroomers sped off with Cody at the wheel, Tyler helped Beth get to her feet. "C'mon, little lady," the athlete shouted. "We gotta hurry, we still only got one."

As they got in the kart, Duncan was staring and smirking at Beth. He continued to stare until she shouted, "Okay, I know, I looked sthilly when I rolled around like that."

"No, actually," the punk replied. "Just thinking of how cute you two looked doing that. You two girls were something else."

Grinning and flushed slightly, Beth hummed the tune some more as she drove the kart ahead. Duncan and Tyler began humming along, then began to sang the jump rope song some more.

* * *

Chris and Chef Hatchet watched the TV screen that was showing Beth, Duncan, and Tyler singing away. The lyrics were not pleasing them, and they watched with grim expressions.

Joel and Owen began singing along, and the two adults glared at them.

"Ehehe, sorry," Owen apologized.

"It's catchy," Joel admitted. "Don't push it, soldiers," Chef remarked. Owen whimpered and nodded. With another shrug, Joel began to narrate his thoughts aloud:

"**So is going to win this? Will it be the Sunday Drivers, the Tire Squealers, Vroom Vroomers, or Red Light Runners?**

"**Does Heather really like Ezekiel? Or is she just leading him on? And how bad is she gonna look when that poison ivy starts to kick in and her break out?**

"**Who is going to be voted off? Will the grudges of last episode bring someone's end?**

"**And who loves how fast and sleek my karts are, huh?**"

Joel tossed another kernel of popcorn into the air and caught it in his mouth. "Yum," he commented.

Chris blinked, then shouted, "You did it again! You stole one of my best parts!"

Chef Hatchet, Owen, and Joel burst out laughing, while Chris sulked.

**Part 3, with the checkered flags a-waving, is coming up! Patience!**

* * *

--

--

--

The dramatic ending is racing up! Who is going to win, who will lose, who will crash? And most of all, who is going to be voted off?

**Red Light Runners** - Ezekiel, Heather, Courtney, Harold (2 wins)

**Sunday Drivers** - Tyler, Duncan, Beth (1 wins)

**Tire Squealers** - Izzy, Bridgette, Noah (0 wins)

**Vroom Vroomers** - Gwen, Cody, Eva (2 wins)


	32. Day 10, Part 3: Lightning Maclean

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Seat belts are installed into the fanfiction, and it is required by law that you wear them; you aren't cool if you think they're not necessary.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - No animals were harmed in the making of this fanfic; however, my cat scratched the hell out of me during it, the little meanie. And yes, I've seen the TDI Special; Noah so should have been in Season 2.

Oh, and if you guys and gals could check out my poll, that'd be swell; it's TDA related instead of undead (it was hard for me to do).

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 32 (Day 10, Part 3)** - Fury Speed, Zero Patience

* * *

**(Tire Squealers)**

Izzy hit the brakes on the kart, hard enough to send Noah flying. If there had been a windshield, he would have gone through it.

This didn't make me any less unhappy with the redhead. "Izzy, why do you hate me?" the egghead shouted as he slowly got to his feet. "Are you trying to kill me? Just say yes, actually, I wouldn't believe you otherwise."

"I don't kill civilians," she purred, grinning slyly. "Just terrorists, crooked cops, and jellybean smugglers."

"Jellybeans? What is your deal with jellybeans?!" Noah snapped, getting up in her face. "Just how is Katie friends with you? You're psycho! No, I take that back; psycho people would be freaked out by you."

"Bighead talks big, but he not walk big," Izzy replied, still smiling coyly. "Shouldn't you be trying to get on my good side, since I know so much about Katie?"

Noah almost froze up, then scowled again. "Oh right yeah, you know _so_ much about Katie! You talk so fast and so much, she was probably almost suffocated because you didn't give her time to breathe in-between stories!"

As the crazy girl and the know-it-all continued to argue (well, Noah was arguing and Izzy was bantering), Bridgette walked up to the Hot Stop that Izzy had stopped in front of.

"_Shroom Sidings._

_Several different mushrooms grow here. Please eat two different kinds. Be careful, as some are toxic, some are downright poisonous, and some just don't taste good at all._"

"More than half of the stuff you say isn't scientifically possible," Noah continued to shout at the crazy redhead. "And the other half is even more incredulous than that!"

Izzy quirked an eyebrow. "You doubt my power?"

"I do!"

"That's a shame. You know, I could have told you all the little romantic things Katie told me she would have liked to have happen to her when she was crushing on you, but..."

Noah scoffed and looked away.

"You're a very cynical man, Noah."

"Yeah? Well, you're a cyanide pill waiting to be swallowed," the know-it-all retorted. "I cannot see how I could ever team up with you if I had the choice."

Bridgette stepped in-between the two, holding her hands up as if to break up a fight. "Um, guys?" she mumbled, her mouth full, "I really don't want you two to be bickering throughout the entire challenge. So could you two call a truce or something?"

As the blond surfer left them to go back to the challenge, Izzy and Noah exchanged looks. "I suppose," Noah said, shrugging, "that I could give you a second chance and keep my patience. If you don't drive."

"That sounds fair. And you," she poked him on the tip of his nose, "be nice!"

" 'Nice,'" he repeated, as if it was a nasty, four-letter word.

"You're going to have to be nice for Katie. She likes nice guys!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's a cookbook! A COOKBOOK!)**

Noah - "Alright, Cutie Katie, I can cope making friends with Sadie and all, but Izzy? C'mon, the girl's a whirlwind, a master of disaster!"

\He pauses, then looks nervous.\ "Wait, did I call you Cutie Katie in the Confession Cam? And I'm strangely okay with it?" \Noah sighs and stares up at the ceiling.\ "What am I becoming? I am not what I have been. Is this normal for when you have a girlfriend?"

* * *

Bridgette was holding the Hot Spot's flag as she licked her lips. "Let's go, guys," she shouted as she climbed into the passenger's seat. "Noah, you drive."

"Best news I've heard all day, Miss Blue Crush," the know-it-all said. When he stared at the flag she had achieved, the surfer smiled and explained the challenge.

"You ate wild mushrooms?" Izzy shouted, looking horrified. "But what if they were poisonous?"

"They weren't, I knew which ones are and which ones aren't."

"How'd you know that?" Noah asked as he started up the kart.

"I'm an environmentalist, remember?" she replied with a wink. She was suddenly seized by the shoulders from behind by Izzy, who grinned triumphantly at her.

"I'm gonna call you Princess Peach, because you know your super mushrooms," the redhead declared. She began to fiddle with Bridgette's hair band. "Though she didn't have a ponytail, we'll have to get rid of that-"

"No no no no," the blond surfer shouted, thrashing as if her life depended on it. "I look hideous with my hair down!"

"Nonsense! I look fine with mine down!"

"I'm not you!"

"And thank all the Gods above for that," Noah mumbled as he continued to drive the kart, Bridgette and Izzy struggling fervently.

A few minutes later, they saw another Hot Spot, but the Sunday Drivers were in front of it. Duncan was performing the stunt, and he looked relatively calm doing it; this was unnatural for most, since he was one-handed juggling a long combat knife.

Tyler was gripping his headband and shaking in anticipation. Beth had her knuckles in her mouth, scraping them with her bracers. Noah and Bridgette also watched in silent horror as Duncan juggled the large blade in his hand.

"Miss, miss, miss," Izzy shouted, jumping and down in the back seat. "Noonen! NOONEN! Wahooo! Hey Duncan, look at me!"

"Izzy, shut up," Tyler shouted, louder than her.

Duncan rolled his eyes as he concluded the knife juggling, then placed it back on the pedestal. "Easy win," he said before swiping the Hot Spot's flag. He got back in the driver's seat of the kart, and his team raced off, whooping and cheering.

"The big showoff," Izzy grumbled, leaning back in her seat. "I can juggle three knives, at twice that speed, bigger ones too-"

"In the snow, blindfolded, yes yes we get it," Noah snapped at her.

* * *

**(Red Light Runners)**

Heather was trying to grin and bear the poison ivy itching, but with every minute it became more and more unbearable. Her skin was starting to turn red.

"Don't look at me," she ordered Ezekiel, "and don't stop scratching me either!"

The prairie boy nodded, turning his head away as he scratched her reddening skin. "And don't touch my butt," she ordered him. "No one touches my butt, you got that?!"

Harold arched an eyebrow at this, looking over at Courtney with a sly smile. The CIT knew she shouldn't laugh, but she was unable to restrain a few giggles.

Before the queen bee could react, the awkward driving team of Courtney and Harold stopped the kart in front of a Hot Spot. The CIT got out to read the sign:

"_Ant Colony Grasp._

_There is a prize down in the red anthill that is nearby this sign. Reach in, grab it, then you might want to yank your hand out fast. And you gotta roll up your sleeves, and no gloves!_"

Courtney blinked. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"Boy, Chris doesn't play around, does he?" Ezekiel called out.

As Heather strained in pain, she shot a glare at Harold. "You were the one with a red ant farm last season! You go get it!"

"I didn't exactly stick my hand in it," the nerd snapped back, then added, "Idiot."

"Don't you call me 'idiot,' you nerd!"

"Gosh, you're impossible, you know that?" Harold replied. "I cannot see anyone helping you willingly."

"How a'boot I do it, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"You sure, Ezekiel?" Courtney called out to him. She was staring at the red anthill, and it was a nasty sight. "_Little red demons_," she thought to herself as she watched them scurry around. "_If devils ever came out from hell, this is what it'd look like, I'm sure_."

"Make it fast," Heather snapped at the prairie boy. "I need you to scratch me immediately after this stupid challenge!"

The prairie boy nodded and rolled up his sleeve. Staring at the red anthill, he felt his courage evaporate almost altogether.

"Hey, you know," Courtney said to him, noticing his apprehension, "maybe we can force Heather's hand down there. It cannot get any worse than it is now."

"Yeah, but you doo'nt have to sit in the back with her, eh."

* * *

**(Tire Squealers)**

Izzy squealed in joy when she saw the Hot Stop right in front of them. "Ooo, this one looks fun," she shouted as she leapt from the (still-moving) kart. "Lemme see...

"_The Bulls-Eye._

_Shoot an arrow and hit the bulls-eye. It must pass through the tire._"

As soon as Izzy was done reading it, a car tire tied to a rope swung in front of a large arrow target. The redhead noticed a long bow, and cried out in joy as she picked it up. Notching an arrow, she spun around to her teammates. "Guys, look, it's like my Cherokee roots!"

Noah and Bridgette, with a notched bow pointed at them, did what came naturally: screamed and hid behind the kart. "Point that thing," Noah shouted, "somewhere else!"

"Okay," the redhead chirped, turning back to the target.

"Oh man," Bridgette whimpered, "that girl is like an Unstoppable Force. I cannot see how anything could slow her down, or even stop her."

"I want that. Let's discover a cure for Unstoppable Force," Noah replied.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Filled with evil! EVIL!)**

Izzy - "Why do people act so nervous when I have a lethal weapon in my hands? I'm trained in all lethal weapons, from magnums to corkscrews to the kitchen sink!"

Ezekiel - "I'd actually like to clear something up to anyone who saw my audition tape. You see, I didn't actually hit my mom with that arrow, eh, I hit the tree next to her. Can you imagine hitting someone with an arrow accidentally? I could've _killed_ her! Which was why she was so mad..."

* * *

Ezekiel, wincing terribly, began to stick his hand down the anthill. Letting out a high-pitched yelp, he ground his teeth.

"They're biting hard, the suckers," he shouted, pounding the dirt with his other fist.

"Zeke man, you don't have to do this," Harold called out to him. "We could go find another one-"

"No, Izzy will do this one for sure, eh," Ezekiel replied, then cried out in pain. "OW! Little dickweeds!!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And you knew, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!)**

Ezekiel - "Boy, she was mad as hell, madder than I ever saw her. ... Though I never did find out why she was in the bushes, eh. She really shouldn't have got that mad at me, it was dad's idea to try to bag a moose for the audition tape."

* * *

Izzy cackled as she pointed the arrow up at the close. "I gotta shoot one into the air for good luck," she declared.

"Is that necessary?" Bridgette called out from behind the kart. "I mean, isn't that just asking for trouble?"

"You just said her reason for doing it, Bridgette," Noah said with a roll of his eyes. "Man, I wish Katie was here."

"You wanna make out with her, hmmm?" the blond surfer teased him, grinning slyly.

"Seems to be a pastime here," the know-it-all replied with a shrug. "Duncan and Courtney, Gwen and Trent, you and Geoff-"

"Now that's not fair," Bridgette replied, giggling and her face flushing a little. "I cannot see Geoff and me making out nonstop."

"FOR MY NATIVE ANCESTORS," Izzy roared, firing an arrow into the air.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - All I see is death around me! DEATH!)**

Ezekiel - \He looks around, drumming his fingers on his arm.\ "I wish I knew back then not to listen so much to my dad, eh. Luckily, my mom was quite forgiving, thank God I didn't hit her with that arrow. Cannot imagine how much that would hurt."

* * *

The prairie boy, straining in pain, gasped as his fingers brushed against something solid that wasn't dirt. "Oh wait a mo-OW-ment, eh," he shouted. "I think I-owww!-I got it!"

"Pull it out then," Harold called out.

The toque-wearing teen did as suggested, but his bunched up fist was hard to pull through the dirt. The red ants continued to bite his tender skin, and he muttered a couple foul words under his breath.

"It's... really... difficult," he strained.

A whistling sound from afar could be heard by the others, as well as a rather painful-sounding 'thunk.' Ezekiel tensed, then screamed. He yanked his hand up from inside the anthill, sending earth and red ants everywhere as he grabbed his rear end.

"MY BUTT," he shouted, squinting in pain, "they shot me in the BUTT!!"

Courtney screamed, grabbing Ezekiel's arm. "There's an arrow in your butt, Zeke!"

"I NOTICED!"

Limping and blubbering in pain, the prairie boy was led to the back seat, where he fell on his belly; said belly fell on Heather's lap, which startled the queen bee.

"What are you-" she started, then noticed the source of Ezekiel's pain. "Zeke, there's an arrow in your butt!"

"I'm aware of that!!"

"Say, what was the prize inside of the anthill?" Heather asked him. He strained as he managed to unclench his hand to reveal the gift inside the red anthill farm: a tube of anti-itch cream.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's over nine thousand! WHAT, NINE THOUSAND?!)**

Courtney - "Well, this hasn't been a lot of fun. I'm driving a kart that has a guy crippled... by me, from an allergic reaction; a guy who's been shot, in the butt, by an arrow that came out of nowhere; and a girl who's coated head to toe in poison ivy rash.

"I feel like a nurse on emergency row, with no medical training. This really bites."

* * *

**(Sunday Drivers)**

Beth stood in front of the tennis ball machine, looking rather scared.

"Just dodge the balls when they're shot out, Beth," Tyler called out to her. "That's all you have to do to win this."

"I'm gonna die!"

"You're not gonna die," Duncan called out to her. "They're tennis balls! Least they'll do is give you a concussion of green fuzziness!"

Tyler slapped him in the back of the head. "You moron, that isn't going to help her."

"It was a joke, lighten up," Duncan grumbled. "It's not like we're making her do the last one we came across."

"Yeah, wrestling an alligator," Tyler remarked. "I cannot see Beth doing that."

"I cannot see ME wrestling an alligator," the punk replied. "I don't think anything is worth wrestling an alligator for!"

Meanwhile, Beth was practically lying on the ground from how deep she was ducking, as the tennis ball machine shot out fuzzy, green spheres of bouncy fun. Since Beth was so short, all of them shot over her head, and she passed the challenge rather easily.

"I think you're supposed to dodge them, not just duck," Tyler said to her as she walked over to the kart. "Still, you did it, I shouldn't complain."

"Too true, Mr. Athlete," Beth said, a big grin on her face. "Now go get in the driver's seat, and take us to the finish line!"

Whooping, the red-suited athlete leapt into said seat, and rocketed the kart forward, nearly hitting several trees and also nearly making Beth and Duncan's lives flash before their eyes (their own lives, Duncan had no vision of Beth adopting her first pig; nor did Beth see Duncan committing his first felony, which was stealing bacon from a grocery store).

* * *

**(Tire Squealers)**

"BRIDGETTE," Noah shouted, his eyes wide and his knuckles white. "KART! ROAD! KART GOES ON ROAD!"

"I cannot drive," Bridgette shouted back at him, "when you're yelling in my ear!"

"You can't drive at all!"

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Izzy cheered, holding her hands up in the air as Bridgette attempted to drive the kart. The blond surfer was about as graceful driving the kart as she was everywhere that wasn't on water: extremely clumsy. Noah would have thrown up, except that he was too busy screaming.

"Drive," he cried out, interrupted as Bridgette hit another rock, "forward! FORWARD! Parallel, straight, one-route, narrow, linear, MY GOD!"

Another fender-bender against a tree made Noah's life flash before his eyes yet again; at the least, he thought, this would prepare him for when he had kids, and they wanted to watch the same movie every night.

"Do I have to kill you too?" Noah shouted. "What is it with girls here and driving?"

Bridgette ignored this comment, then came to a screeching halt in front of a Hot Spot. "This will be our third," the blond surfer pointed out. "We'd better hurry, it took some time for Izzy to shoot that target."

She began to read the sign aloud:

"_Horror Movie._

_Wearing the virtual reality goggles and headphones, prepare for a very realistic horror movie. If you endure until the words THE END appear, you win._"

"That sounds," Bridgette said, wringing her hands, "rather spooky."

Noah shrugged. "Horror survival games are just another video game I have mastered. Luckily for us, it's my turn."

"Awww, I wanted to watch the horror movie," Izzy complained.

Noah ignored her and sat down in the chair nearby the Hot Spot. Putting the headphones over his ears and goggles over his eyes, he waited for the movie to start up. Bridgette and Izzy watched anxiously as the know-it-all began to comment on the movie.

"Oh. A camp. How original.

"Yes, that's right, wander into the woods. Yes, with your boyfriend. Yes, with as little clothing as possible.

"It's blood, lady. Quick taking your time to see the body and scream.

"How can a chainsaw run that long without a gas refill? Honestly.

"The human body has four pints of blood. That is clearly nine.

"... \_censored_\!!! Damn those pop-outs! Honestly, pop-outs are not real scares, they're startles.

"Oh yes, good has won. Wait for it...

"Yep, there it is, proof that evil hasn't died completely. That's right people, despair, because evil serial killers deserve to live and you don't."

The blond surfer tapped her foot. "Alright Noah, you had your fun riffing the movie," Bridgette declared, throwing her hands up in the air. "But that took twenty minutes! We have to hurry!"

"Funny," the know-it-all remarked, "that last part was the exact same thing the first victim's girlfriend said to him right after they had-"

"Can I drive?" Izzy asked.

"NO," Bridgette and Noah asked as the egghead scrambled for the driver's seat.

* * *

**(Vroom Vroomers)**

Eva moaned in pain, clutching her stomach. The front of her blue workout clothes and her chin were stained in vomit. She winced as Cody continued to rub her back.

"We're lucky throwing up wasn't grounds for disqualification for that last one," Gwen commented, taking a second to glance back at Eva and Cody. "You gonna be alright?"

"Chef's meat loaf should be used in terrorist interrogations," Eva moaned, still maintaining her angry disposition. "That was the worst challenge I've ever had to take here."

"And you still took it like a real champ," Cody said, patting her back ever-so-gently. "Eva, you have skills that we all admire immensely."

"Yeah, right," the fitness buff grumbled.

"Hey, I couldn't do that," Gwen pointed out. "You should be proud, Eva, the smell of it being in the sun that long made me want to hurl in itself."

"All the more reason why we gotta win," Cody shouted. "I'm not eating that for dinner tonight!"

They drove towards a long clearing that, in the distance, they could see the campgrounds and the finish line. A slight flicker of movement that they could barely see was Joel, using binoculars, waving at them.

"Here they come," he said before handing the binoculars to Owen. The much larger teen peered through and laughed in excitement.

"Go, Gwen! Go, Cody," he shouted, jumping up and down. In his excitement, he snapped the binoculars in half.

Right after Owen said this, the other three karts came around the corner. With Courtney, Tyler, and Noah behind the wheels, they sped to catch up with Gwen.

"Ooo, this'll be close," Joel commented as he watched the far-off karts come closer though one half of the binoculars, the sounds of the revving engines more audible with every second. "Interesting this shall be, no?"

"Um, yeah?"

"I am rather enjoying this through the monocular you handed me."

"The mono-what?"

Courtney of the Red Light Runners rammed the Sunday Driver's kart on the side. "Out of my way," she yelled at them. "I got two injured people on my team!"

"I ain't eating Chef's meat loaf tonight, Ms. CIT," Tyler yelled back.

He suddenly noticed his friend in the back seat. "Zeke man, you have an arrow in your butt!"

"I know that!!"

Noah tried desperately to get ahead of the others, but his kart wasn't going any faster. "This isn't working," he cried to his teammates over the roar of the wind and kart engines. "We have to do something quick, or this'll be a photo finish, and I never have a good photo!"

"Here, let me," Izzy shouted.

The redhead stood up in the back seat, and let out a sharp whistle. "Hey boys," she cried out, "what do you think of _this_?"

She lifted up her shirt at them. Cody gawked, Beth's mouth dropped, and Harold cupped his face in astonishment. Tyler was so stunned, he temporarily forgot he was driving.

It was a dire mistake. His kart swerved and smashed into the Vroom Vroomers, catapulting the six campers out of the karts in a loud crash. The two karts flew up into the air, landed in a ditch nearby, then exploded into large fireballs.

"Whoa," Joel remarked, looking astonished. "That wasn't supposed to happen. Karts don't blow up like that."

Beside him, Chef Hatchet was snickering as he hid a wrench behind his back.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We're going to Disneyland! DISNEYLAND!!)**

Izzy - "Wow! I didn't think it would work that well. I mean, it's not like I was seriously flashing them, I had my bra on. I must be really hot."

\She takes out a pair of oversized sunglasses and puts them on. Adopting some haughty body language, she chews on some bubble gum and snaps it.\ "I'm so hot."

* * *

The Red Light Runners and the Tire Squealers raced across the finish line, and Chris waved a checkered flag. "Congratulations, you two win," he declared, then applauded. "That was awesome, I am so impressed! And I gotta say..."

He stopped when Heather ran out of the kart screaming, scratching her skin as she wailed. She entered the communal washrooms and slammed the door behind her.

"Whoa, that did look painful," Chris said, then noticed the other casualty of that team. "Whoa, Zeke man, you got an arrow in your butt!"

"No," the prairie boy replied, with the utmost sarcasm. "You doo'nt say? I didn't notice, eh."

"Might need to have Chef Hatchet look at that."

Bridgette was already next to her friend, trying to comfort him with what words you can use to comfort someone who has an arrow in their butt ("My goodness, that does look painful,").

The host walked over to the six defeated campers, who lay on the grass, still dazed from the kart crash. "Okay then," he said aloud to get their attention, "I guess this means that Gwen, Cody, Eva, Tyler, Duncan, and Beth have lost, and will be voting for which of the six of you will be voted off tonight! But not before..."

He grinned sadistically. "... You have some of Chef's yummy meat loaf!"

The first reaction was Eva puking again at the thought of eating it. The first reply was "You stupid jock," from Duncan to Tyler. "You call that kart driving!?"

"Hey, lay off, man," Tyler replied. "Like you could concentrate when a girl is stripping in the kart next to you."

"Gonna...," Gwen moaned as she lay on the grass, staring up at the sky, "kill... you... Tyler..."

"Someone get the license plate of that kart," Cody whimpered, "if karts have them."

"That wath THO much fun," Beth cheered, on her feet and jumping around.

* * *

Beth was not saying that when she was served Chef's meat loaf that night. The smell of it made her gag, and when she poked it with a fork, it wiggled like Jell-O.

"Meat loaf should not jiggle," she said with a sad sigh. "Oh dear... thith ith not fun at all."

Duncan nodded, then shot a side glare at Tyler. Both of them were almost as green as Duncan's mohawk just by looking at it. "You're dead, jock."

Tyler glared right at him. "I don't think so, Duncan. You're the one who is dead!"

"Stop talking about dying," Cody wailed, sitting across from them. "I just might by eating this!"

"There is _no way_ I'm eating this," Gwen said, staring hatefully at the food. "They'd have to strap me to a chair, tie me up like a bondage slave, and force it down my throat."

"Kinky," Duncan remarked, wiggling his eyebrow. He immediately regretted saying that, because Gwen threw her meat loaf in his face. He screamed and clawed to get it off, heaving in-between screams; it was one of the worst feelings he could ever experience.

Eva had passed out at the table, muttering something in her unconscious state about 'murder,' 'pay back time,' and 'potted plants' (the others weren't sure what the last one was about).

"Tho...," Beth said, watching Duncan and Tyler continue to glare at each other after the punk had wiped the meat loaf from his face, "... we're not going to dithcuth who we're voting for, right?"

"No," Gwen said to her, "we've tried to keep voting to our own personal level, and despite some peoples' schemes," she shot a glare at Duncan, "we're going to keep it personal between the six of us."

Beth nodded. "Theems we didn't really get the worthst out of this challenge, even with thith meat loaf."

"What do you mean?" Duncan asked.

"Dude," Tyler groaned, slapping his forehead, "Zeke got an arrow in his butt."

"And Heather was coated in poison ivy rash," Cody pointed out.

"Wasn't her face red," Gwen remarked, grinning wickedly at the memory of seeing the rash-covered Heather run to the communal washrooms. "Actually, all of her was red!"

The losing campers, even Eva in her unconscious state, all shared a good laugh.

* * *

Heather grumbled to herself, wincing as she applied white cream to her legs. She had showered for a great deal of time, which slightly diminished the pain, then took to putting a couple coats of the itching cream on her skin. Clad only in a towel, she managed to finally calm down her breathing.

"I hate this place," she muttered, "so very much."

The door swung up, and screamed in surprise. Ezekiel leapt up and took a kung fu pose, mantis style. When he realized it was Heather, he relaxed.

"Can you leave?" the queen bee snapped at him. "I want my privacy after... after..."

She stopped when she saw Ezekiel's butt, which look like it had inflated. She started to giggle, then burst out laughing, pointing at it as she clutched her side. "It's not funny, eh," the prairie boy shouted, crossing his arms. "It's padding! I'm not gonna be able to sit down comfortably for a week! And I gotta sleep on my stomach..."

It was his turn to stop when he noticed Heather's towel was slipping down her front. The queen bee managed to grab the front before her breasts were exposed to the prairie boy. She growled at him as if he caused that.

"Will you please leave now?" she snapped.

"But... I gotta go, eh," he said as he jerked a thumb at the urinal.

"Can't it wait? I'm still getting..."

She strained and tried to reach behind her back, but the chaffing of her arms caused too much pain. With a sigh, she tried one more time but failed to reach her upper back.

"I cannot reach there," she admitted when Ezekiel looked confused. "I cannot even get the stupid itching cream on the back. This sucks so much."

Ezekiel looked back and forth, tapped his fingers together, swallowed, and when he realized there were no more nervous, stalling gestures he could make, he spoke up. "Want me to do it, eh?"

"What?" she shouted, incredulous. Before she could lambast him, her upper back began to itch something horrible. "Oh... okay."

She lowered her towel from behind, very careful not to expose any more than necessary. Ezekiel took the itching cream and began to apply it to her back.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Right? RIGHT?!)**

Ezekiel - \standing up\ "You knoo', now that I think a'boot it, there's a big reason why I used to think girls weren't as tough as guys..."

\He swoons and wiggles his fingers, giggling.\ "They're _so_ soft!" \He giggles more.\

* * *

Heather tried to ignore how soothing the feeling of Ezekiel's fingers on her itchy back was. "Bet everyone is enjoying this," she grumbled. "Seeing me so ugly and red... bet you find it humorous too."

"Looks way too painful, eh," he replied. "I mean, my butt's a pincushion right now, why would I laugh at you?"

She scoffed, then moaned as a particular part of her back tingled pleasantly as Ezekiel rubbed in the cream. Snapping out of it, she scowled again. "Well, I want to let you know that I'm not going to keep up the act that I was doing today, so don't get your hopes up."

"Fine by me, eh."

"You know I truly don't like you."

"Ayup yup, I do."

"And since I'm so hideous right now, it must be easier for you to cope with."

"Not true in the least, eh."

"Wait, what?"

The ravenhair looked around at the toque-wearing teen, thoroughly confused. "Are you lying? I mean, look at me."

"Affection for someone is not diminished by accidents like this, eh," he explained to her. "I mean, my mother once burned her arm; it's not like my dad divorced her because she was wearing a sling and had an ugly arm, eh."

Heather shook her head. "That's different. If I was really hideous, you wouldn't give me a second thought. No one would."

"That's not true, though I doo't I could convince you, eh," the prairie boy said with a shrug. "I'm guessing you got absorbed into the material and beauty world that's on those popular TV shows us teens watch, eh."

"What do you know?" Heather snapped at him. "You're just a lonely, home schooled boy! How could you possibly understand anything the popular world I am living in?"

Ezekiel sighed, though he didn't stop applying the itching cream to her back. "Nothing, eh. I doo'nt knoo' what to say, Heather. I still think you should try to be nice once, it might work out better than you think."

Heather tried not to let her emotions show, but she couldn't help but sigh. "Well, even if I wanted to change, it's too late now. Everyone hates me, and I don't like anyone here."

"Everyone deserves a second chance, eh," he said as he finished up applying the cream. "I'll keep waiting until you're ready for me to give you yours. If you want to keep saying you can't stand me, go a'heed, but just don't make fun of my butt."

Heather blinked, then froze up when Ezekiel gave her a peck on the cheek. Walking out of the washroom communal with a call of, "Lemme knoo' when you're done here so I can pee, eh." She felt her cheeks start to burn, and it wasn't because of the poison ivy rash.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I yam what I yam. YAM!)**

Heather - \startled\ "... What a strange boy."

* * *

As Ezekiel left the washrooms, Bridgette saw him. The surfer girl came up to talk to him, staring at his inflated butt.

"That still hurt?" she asked.

"Naw, Chef gave me a lot of pain killers, eh," Ezekiel said. He clutched his head at the temple, and moaned. "Oh, dizzy spell... whoa, I think the effects are kicking in, eh."

Bridgette helped guide him to the Killer Bass cabin. "Good thing I found you in time," she commented. Before the prairie boy could get in, the surfer girl had one more question. "Was Heather still in the communal washrooms?"

"Yeah, eh."

"Zeke, please don't-"

"Bridgette, I knoo' what you're gonna say," he interrupted her, "and trust me, I knoo' what I am doing. Doo'nt worry, I'm not falling for her or anything."

"Really, Zeke?" she asked, looking concerned. She tapped his hand, which was still slick with damning evidence. "That's itching cream, right?"

"Errr, right," he stammered, then smiled at his blond friend. "She had places on her back she couldn't reach, so I helped her; poison ivy rash is awful, and I didn't want her to suffer, eh."

Bridgette opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "Bridge, doo'nt worry, please! I knoo' she's a mean witch, but I'm not gonna be mean to her when she's vulnerable."

As he walked into the boys' side, she called out, "But why be nice to her? She's never nice to you! Or anyone!"

Drowsy, the prairie boy wasn't fully aware of saying what he said next. "Everyone deserves a second chance, eh. I got one..."

When the boys' side door closed, Bridgette was left alone to think about this. She remembered how mad she was during the first season when Ezekiel said how guys were stronger and smarter than girls. She remembered how upset he was when he told her about what had happened to his parents because of his words, how rejected and lonely he looked the first night back.

Then she something else, something as painful.

* * *

_Bugsy had collapsed in a chair, taking great, heaving breaths. He was not sobbing, but tears rolled down his cheeks. Bridgette could only stare at her friend, almost petrified at the sight of him looking so heartbroken._

_"She was cheating on him," Gardenia was telling Norm, trying to keep her voice down. "He found out just today."_

_"You're kidding," Norm said, astonished. "Man, after all he did for her... she stabbed him in the back?"_

_"And hard," Gardenia continued. "She was _smiling_ as she told him she was cheating on him, I saw her!"_

_"Gardenia," Sabrina cried out, shaking her head and whipping her dyed-blue hair around, "show some more respect, he's right there!"_

_Gardenia looked embarrassed and put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry, I really thought I was quiet enough..."_

_Dawn was trying to comfort Bugsy, massaging his shoulder. Bridgette continued to stare, her hand over her heart as if to cover it from the tragedy around her._

_"It's terrible, Bugs," Dawn said to her heartbroken friend. "She... I really thought she had changed with you..."_

_At this, Bugsy slumped in his chair, his face in his hands. Apologizing profusely, Dawn hugged him, beginning to cry too._

* * *

Bridgette had her hand over her heart again in present time. When she recalled the painful memory completely, she stormed over to the communal washrooms, a furious scowl on her face.

The blond shoved the door open, startling Heather; the queen bee had just got back into her regular clothes. Bridgette huffed up her chest and started, "Now look here, you bi-"

She was cut off when the door bounced off the wall from her forceful push and hit her side. Crying out, she tried to recover from this embarrassing movement and slammed the door behind her.

"What do you want, surfer girl?" Heather asked, flaring up. She realized someone who was going to try telling her off, but she wasn't worried now. Bridgette, the soft-spoken nature's girl, trying to tell her, the queen bee of popularity, off?

"I want to make something absolutely clear," Bridgette said as she walked up to Heather. Her face was right into Heather's, and the queen bee felt intimidated as she leaned back slightly.

"You stay away from Ezekiel. You leave him alone, you got that?"

A moment of silence, then Heather started to laugh. "Is that a threat?" she chuckled. "Are you threatening me, Bridgette?"

"I am _telling_ you," the blond surfer continued, her lazy eyes narrowed, "I am telling you to leave Ezekiel alone. Leave him, and Courtney, and Gwen, and all the people you've been trying to hurt alone.

"I have had it with you, how you try to manipulate people and back stab them without caring about their feelings. If you try that on any of my friends ever again, you'll have to answer to me."

Heather glared at Bridgette, then smirked cruelly. "And what makes you think I'm afraid of you?"

"I'm an athlete, Heather. And I've also worked with wild animals. I'm pretty sure that if I wanted to, I could kick your permed butt.

"So don't make me repeat this ever again: stay away from Zeke. You try to use him or hurt him, you'll have me to answer to."

She turned sharply, unintentionally swatting the queen bee in the face with her ponytail. Heather glared at her before finally deciding to say what was on her mind.

"Has it ever occurred to you," she said, "that I may truly like Ezekiel?"

Bridgette didn't turn around to answer her. "That's a load of crap," she spat out before slamming the door behind her.

Now alone, Heather continued to glare at the door, thinking of all the things she wished she could have said to the environmentalist before she left. Then she recalled the last thing she herself said, and became lost in another train of thought.

"... Do I?" she whispered to herself, rubbing her finger against the cheek that Ezekiel had kissed.

* * *

The marshmallow ceremony felt a lot smaller than usual to Beth. The farmer girl was sitting with five other campers on the hard stumps, while only six campers and Owen watched. Bridgette had told them that Ezekiel was sleeping off the pain killers.

"That I understhtand," Beth said, twiddling her thumbs, "but where ith our hostht?"

The twelve campers looked around, but they couldn't see Chris Maclean anywhere. After a while, Duncan began to get impatient.

"This is stupid," the punk exclaimed. "We're here, and he's always giving us guff about this marshmallow ceremony! Why isn't he here?"

"Chris Maclean cannot do the ceremony tonight."

The campers cried out as Chef Hatchet appeared from behind the rocks, startling them all. As they calmed down, the large man cracked his knuckles. "I managed to find a replacement, though."

"You?" Gwen asked.

"No, actually, though I'd like to. But it's his job tonight."

He gestured to the oil drum that Chris usually stood at, but there now was the inventor, Joel. Running a hand through his scruffy brown hair, he smiled at the campers.

"Hello everyone," he said as he held up a tray that had five marshmallows on it, "welcome to tonight's Wawanakwa's Elimination Marshmallow Party! Also known as WEMP."

"Joel's hosting the ceremony?" Noah asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"That's ludicrous," Heather scoffed. "Someone named 'Joel' hosting a show? How absurd."

"Any idea where Chris is, Joel?" Tyler asked the inventor.

After Joel shrugged, Chef Hatchet chuckled darkly, sending shivers up everyone's spine. "Oh, he's a little... tied up at the moment," the cook explained.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - That's rather obvious, Chef. OBVIOUS!)**

Chris Maclean - \He is bound and gagged with a great deal of masking tape. He thrashes around, muttering words that cannot be understood but sound very bad.\

* * *

"Will you untie him after the ceremony?" Cody asked the cook.

"Maybe." Joel cleared his throat. "As much as we all are concerned with the possible abduction of Chris Maclean, and hope for... well, we can hope, right?

"It's time to begin the marshmallow ceremony! Are you all ready?"

There was silence. Joel blinked, then looked around. "Um," he stammered, worry in his lazy eyes, "am I doing this wrong?"

"No not at all, dude," Tyler called out to him.

"Just that you haven't told us there are six campers in front of you," Gwen pointed out, "and that there are five marshmallows in front of you too."

"And the camper who doesn't get a marshmallow," Courtney recited.

"Must immediately walk the Dock of Shame," Harold said cheerfully.

"Board the Boat of Losers," Heather said with a roll of her eyes.

"And is not coming back," Eva concluded it.

"**FOREVER**," all of the campers, Chef Hatchet, Owen, and Joel declared. They shared a good laugh.

"You know, it is kind of fun to say it out loud," Bridgette commented. "No wonder Chris loves doing it."

"Well, I ain't one for delaying tactics," Joel said. "I'm a rather blunt person. Comes from tinkering with stuff that, if you do it wrong, it blows up in your face. So, I'm just gonna do this."

He grabbed four marshmallows off the plate, and tossed them to Gwen, Cody, Eva, and Beth. The four were surprised at first, then looked at the remaining two.

"Duncan, Tyler," Joel said, starting at the two guys, "you two were the only ones who received votes this time. There's been a lot of tension of late, what with Duncan working with Courtney to eliminate certain campers.

"Then there's Tyler, who single-handedly _wrecked_," Joel threw his hands up in fury, "two of my beloved, handmade karts! I am a little T.O.'ed about that, Tyler."

"Erm, sorry," the jock whimpered, scratching the back of his head. "If it means anything, those things were a ton of fun to drive."

"Thank you, I did my best work," Joel said. "But that doesn't matter to your teammates who had to eat Chef's meat loaf. Or just look at it! Oh, sorry Chef!"

Chef grumbled, crossing his arms and muttering how unappreciative the campers were.

"And now it's time to announce which of you has lost Total Drama Comeback."

He seized the last marshmallow with a large wrench and held it up in the air. Duncan stared at it intensively, then at Joel. Tyler's eyes were wide as saucers, his lower lip trembled, and his shoulders were hunched up to his ears.

Over in the crowd, things just as tense. Courtney was grinding her teeth in worry as Bridgette put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Harold watched, his expression difficult to read. Beth and Cody exchanged looks, both looking worried. Gwen watched a determined glare, her arms crossed tightly under her breasts.

"Is it Duncan or Tyler?" Joel said, twirling the marshmallow-holding wrench in his hand. "The final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Tyler."

The red-coated athlete exhaled, then laughed in relief before the marshmallow was flung to him. With a quick hand, he caught the marshmallow and popped it into his mouth. "That was too close for comfort," he said.

"Duncan," Joel said as he set the wrench down on the oil drum, "I'm afraid that is that."

The punk merely shrugged, though his body language told a different story, one of sadness. "It's fine, dude. I actually saw it coming, so no regrets."

* * *

With his duffel bag in hand, Duncan headed for the Dock of Shame. He stopped, then turned around.

"Hey guys," he said, looking specifically at Cody and Gwen, "I'm sorry things turned out this way. Wish we could have had more fun and less drama."

"Show's called Total Drama Island for a reason, dude," Tyler said with a shrug. He exchanged a fist bump with the criminal before adding, "Say hi to Lindsay for me, will ya?"

"Will do." Gwen nodded towards him as a good-bye, Beth waved, and Cody high-fived him. Harold gave him a Possum Scout salute, then they shook hands.

"Courtney?" Duncan said, before being glomped by a freckle-faced brunette. The CIT looked up at the criminal with misty eyes.

"This... this is all my fault," she sobbed. "If I hadn't dragged you into my revenge scheme, they wouldn't be voting you off now."

"Hey Princess, I chose to help you. And I wouldn't have it any other way than with you. So keep trying here, I think you still have a chance.

"What say you, Courtney? Wanna give your prince a kiss before he leaves?"

"You're an ogre, not a prince," she said, wiping the forming of tears from her eyes.

"An ogre prince?" Harold suggested.

Duncan laughed at this, then his lips were suddenly caught by Courtney's. They kissed, and most of the campers couldn't help but smile. It was only when the kiss lasted over half a minute that they all began to look around awkwardly.

"Alright, that's enough," Joel snapped. He pushed a tire iron between the two and cranked it until their mouths separated with a wet pop. The inventor then slung the tool over his back, and looked over at Duncan. "Shall we go then?"

"Awww, you're leaving too, Joel?" Beth called out.

"I gotta, my cameo was strictly for today."

"But we just got to know you," Cody called out. "I want to talk to someone who understands robots and mechanics like I do!"

"I want to have another sane person on this island," Gwen said.

"I want to have someone who can cook for a change," Eva added. Chef Hatchet growled at her, and she growled right back.

"Guys, gals, I'd love to stay too," Joel said, holding a hand over his heart. "But I am not to be alongside you just yet. My journey has not yet started, for it begins next season.

"For now, it is best I avoid absorbing your limelight. Because you are the originals, you are the characters that everyone knows and loves. You are the reason people watch this reality show, they tune in to see you all specifically. Though new faces like mine may spice it up, it is you who always keeps the spice of life to the show.

"The original can never be replaced, the first one is always the best one in everyone's eye. For with the first comes the most memorable experience, and all those to follow have the judgment upon them, whether it is subconscious or not. I did enjoy my time here, but the crowd wishes to see the originals just now.

"And so they will have them, so I must bid you adieu."

Cody wiped a tear from his eye. Beth blew her nose in-between sobs. Izzy swooned and fell over backwards. Owen bolted over to Joel and almost crushed him in a bear hug, blubbering like a big baby.

"Dude, that was weird but okay," Duncan said as he patted Joel on the shoulder; they walked towards the Boat of Losers and boarded it. "You're okay, but an inventor doesn't seem all the interesting."

"I also make stuff that blows up."

"Ooo, I change my mind. I think I want you on my team next season."

Waving good-bye to Courtney and the others, Duncan and the Boat of Losers eventually faded from sight. The CIT sighed.

"I'm really gonna miss him, even though I shouldn't," Courtney said to Bridgette. "Tell me, Bridge, is it wrong that I like someone who's completely different than me?"

The surfer started to answer, then she saw Heather walk by them. They exchanged a glare, then the queen bee walked off in a huff. The blond gal scowled and crossed her arms.

"Um, something I should know about?" her brunette friend asked.

"You're not completely different than Duncan," Bridgette mused. "You may not be aware of it, but there is a lot that connects you two.

"You think so?"

"Trust me, Courtney, there are... 'couples' with far less in common than you and Duncan."

* * *

**Tyler** - Duncan.

**Duncan** - Tyler.

**Beth** - Duncan.

**Cody** - Duncan.

**Eva** - Tyler.

**Gwen** - Duncan.

--

Duncan - 4.

Tyler - 2.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan.

* * *

Noah rummaged through his clothing drawers, looking furious. "Where the hell are all my pants?!" he shouted.

Cody, the only other one in the room, wondered if that was rhetorical or not. "Um, I dunno, dude."

"I cannot find any of my pants," the know-it-all snapped, "and there is no way I am running around this island without pants on! I'd die first!"

* * *

As Duncan arrived at the Playa de Losers, his friends greeted him and Joel. DJ and Geoff slapped the punk on the back, offering sympathetic words for his loss.

"Oh Katie?" the criminal said to the thin BFFF. "I got something of your boyfriend's before I left."

"Huh? Whacha mean?" she asked.

Duncan held up a few pairs of brown pants. "I managed to swipe these before I left!"

Katie boggled at them, quite weirded out. As the green-haired punk and his friends burst out laughing, a vengeful Leshawna began chasing him around the resort. "You insensitive creep, GET BACK HERE!"

"I cannot help it," Duncan cackled as Leshawna continued to give chase, "I wanted to steal something, and I wanted to do something nice too! What can I say?"

* * *

--

--

--

Sorry to all the Duncan fans out there. Don't worry, I have lots of plans for you to see those voted off in the future. You'll see Canada's worst criminal more in the future, the furthest away will be when there are ten contestants left.

And in case you didn't notice, a lot of the remarks about "I cannot see myself doing that" are referring to the TDI special that links season one to two. It's a joke about how that special made this story alternate-universe.

And I am way over 200,000 words now! WOOHOO!


	33. Day 11, Part 1: Hike Up Your Strikers

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. Pokémon belongs to Game Freaks, might as well acknowledge that. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. In case of emergency, you can use your seat as a flotation device.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Okay okay, you got me. Bridgette's friends from home all have the same names as Pokémon (human) characters. I didn't think it would be that obvious, I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't forget the names, so I picked names from separate generations. There are apparently more Pokémon fans than I thought there would be. Lucario for the win!

The reason for the two main characters of this story being Ezekiel and Bridgette is because that's who the story is focused on right now. When we reach the Top 10, it'll be removed so as the finalists will be more of a surprise: you might not guess who's going to win this, muahaha.

For those of you sending ideas for challenges and original characters, I thank you for your contributions. However, I already have planned out the challenges for TDC, and the new 22 characters for the sequel. Come the sequel with 44 contestants, I _might_ need ideas for challenges, ehehe.

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_narrated by Joel, the guest star from the previous day_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback, the Island of Love!

Last time, we saw some incredible kart racing! Also, there were incredible side-challenges! Knife juggling, ant hill grasping, poison ivy swimming, bear cave plundering, fire rope jumping, and more! It was intense, it was fun, it was more than any NASCAR fan could ever hope for! The injures racked up, as Heather practically bathed in poison ivy, Eva was forced to eat Chef's meat loaf (poor girl), and Ezekiel was shot in the butt with an arrow shot by Izzy! Don't worry, they have health insurance on this show; makes me nervous, though, because eventually I'm going to be in that line of fire.

It also seems Heather and Ezekiel are getting more into each other, though both will deny that until the cows come home. Bridgette went up in Heather's face to tell her to back off, and I'm sure all those that hate Heather love the surfer for that.

When it came time for me to temporarily host the marshmallow ceremony, the criminal punk known as Duncan was left without a marshmallow. Leaving behind a sad Courtney, our mohawk-wearing friend set sail for Playa des Losers.

But what is going to happen this time around? Will Courtney be the next to fall because of her actions, or will Tyler for crashing the karts and ruining it for several people? Will Heather finally get booted, before or after something finally develops between her and Ezekiel? And is Chef ever going to untie Chris and let him out the of the Confession Cam?

\Joel twirls a wrench in his hand, smirking.\ These questions, my ladies, gents, and robots, will be answered almost assuredly on this next day, episode, and broadcasting of the show that you love second most!

It's... Total... Drama ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 33 (Day 11, Part 1)** - Sports, It's What For Dinner

* * *

Three days after the kart competition, things were getting back to normal. That is, in the sense that some campers were getting along just fine, and some were like mixing velociraptors in a bin with BBQ-soaked chickens (Harold's analogy, not ours).

The most obvious feud came from Courtney and Gwen. Though the CIT was trying to watch her attitude, especially around Harold, she and the goth girl were still not getting along. Whenever the two were nearby each other, they exchanged glares.

Though there was someone else who really wished to be as far away from someone else as possible.

At breakfast the day of Challenge Eleven, Izzy plopped down next to Ezekiel. The prairie boy took one look at the redhead, cried out in fear, and scurried to the other side of the table.

"Awww, c'mon, Zeke," the crazy girl complained. "That arrow thing was an accident."

"You shot me in the butt, eh," the prairie boy shouted, still nervous. The redhead opened her mouth, then closed it, looking away sadly.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Madam, I'm Adam.)**

Ezekiel - "Can you blame me? She shot me! In the butt, eh! It was the single-most embarrassing experience of my life, the single-most painful experience of my life, and I'm no good at sleeping on my stomach, eh!"

* * *

Gwen sat down next to Ezekiel, glancing at his oversized butt. "How's that feel, by the way, prairie boy?"

"Fine, eh. Still a little tender."

Tyler, Bridgette, Beth, Eva, and Noah were sitting with him as well, all looking at him from time to time. Finally, the prairie boy couldn't take it anymore.

"Look guys," he said, throwing up his hands, "I knoo' you have been holding back, eh. So I want to let you knoo', it's okay to make jokes about my butt now."

"Awww, Zeke, man," Tyler started.

"No, Tyler, bud'day, I insist. Let it all out."

The teenagers exchanged looks. Beth was the first to grin, her braces gleaming in the light. "That's rather big of you, Ethekiel. Though not ath big ath your butt!"

"So when do we paint Goodyear on it?" Gwen asked, also grinning slyly.

"Jennifer Lopez called," Eva remarked, pointing at Ezekiel's butt, "she wants that back."

"The cameramen told me they need an aerial view to properly shoot that," said Noah.

"When you sit down, are chairs afraid?" Bridgette cracked.

"I'll bet when he walks backwards, you have to beep to warn people behind you," Tyler said.

"See, see, there you go," Ezekiel said, beaming at his fellow contestants, "make as many jokes as you want. But I knoo' you're just jealous, because my butt's so big, you're all posterior inferior!"

Heather, from the other table, rolled her eyes. "So dumb," she muttered as she stirred her barely edible food. Her table mates, Harold and Courtney, looked over at her in question. "Making jokes about butts is so immature."

"You've made them," Harold remarked.

"No, I've made _insults_ about butts. There's a difference."

Courtney shrugged, sighing as she stared at her food. "This place is really getting me down."

"No, it's not so bad," said Harold, smiling at the CIT. "I almost managed to stand up today."

"Really? That's pretty good," Courtney replied.

Owen walked into the cafeteria, seeing Izzy sitting alone. He felt sorry for his girlfriend, and sat down at the table she was at; however, the weight of the large teen sent Izzy, who was on the other side, catapulting over his head.

"Not again, Owen," she hollered as she soared, heading towards the door. Cody happened to come in right then, and was hit by the U.F.O. (Unusually Flying Oddgirl).

"Nice checking, Izzy," Chris Maclean said. The host was sitting in front of both the tables, watching the campers. Ever since he had been tied up in the Confession Cam, the host had been a bit distant; Cody hypothesized that he was planning a very painful retribution.

"Today, we are going to be having some heavy-duty competition," the host declared, getting up on his feet. "Your skills will be tested, your friendships will be tested harder, but the hardest test will be to your muscles and nerves!

"For tonight, you are going to be playing some sports! Tonight... are you ready for some FOOTBA-AAAAAAAAAALL?!"

Tyler let out a loud cheer, almost deafening those around him. "Let me at 'em, baby! This is what I was made for!"

"Is it going," Noah asked, rubbing his ears, "to be our football or American football?"

"It's a bit complicated, and I'll let you in more details later," the host said. "But for now, we're going to choose the teams! And we have to choose the team captains first!"

"ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME," Tyler chanted, leaping up and down, pumping his fists. "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME-"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Step on no pets!)**

Tyler - "Can you blame me for being excited? Sports are my life! This is my calling, my dream!"

Gwen - "Okay... Tyler is way too excited for his own good. I know he loves sports, but he should be more concerned about _winning_ sports. A lot of us, namely me, are mad at him for crashing those karts and making us eat Chef's meat loaf." \She gags.\ "Thinking about that lousy food makes me sick. Just _thinking_ about it!"

* * *

"ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME-"

"Shut up, Tyler," Chris requested.

"Okay."

"But you know, you are going to be the captain of the Red Team! So come over to my left, you jock!"

Tyler leapt over, doing a cartwheel (and falling down on his back) and crashed into the wall Chris was standing against. Holding his woozy head, he chuckled nervously and remarked, "I am okay!"

"And since I know you love leading," Chris said, looking over at Courtney, "you, Courtney, will be leading the Green Team!"

"Huh? What?" Courtney stammered. "I'm not a sports person."

"That's okay," Heather said to her. "Neither is Tyler."

"OH! You are dead," Tyler shouted, pointing at her and glaring.

"All jibes aside," Chris continued, "Courtney is the leader of the Green Team!"

The CIT nervously took her place next to Chris. Taking a deep breath, she put on a determined face and crossed her arms. She noticed Gwen glaring at her, and the brunette returned the glare.

"You still upset about Trent?" she asked the goth girl.

"You'd better believe it, Freckles."

Courtney hissed. She hated being called that more than anything. "Chris, shall we pick our teammates now?"

"Tyler goes first," the host informed her.

The jock looked at the available contestants, then grinned at his best friend there. "Ezekiel, man," he shouted, "get over here!"

The toque-wearing teen ran over, exchanging a high-five with the jock. Tyler then swung his hand down and gave Ezekiel a friendly smack on the butt; however, this was right where the prairie boy's wound was. As he let out a high-pitched scream of pain, Tyler shouted, "Gah! Sorry man, I completely forgot!"

Courtney rolled her eyes, then looked over at the contestants. "I pick Eva."

The fitness buff grinned, then cracked her knuckles. "This'll be too easy," she said, grinning evilly at Tyler. The red-clad athlete snarled back at her, balling his fists up.

"Then," he said, "I pick Gwen!"

The goth girl was startled at first, then shrugged. "Any reason why?" she asked him.

"I know you want to get at Courtney too, probably as much as I do," the jock said with a wink.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Rise to vote, sir.)**

Gwen - "Well, it was either with Tyler or be bossed around with Courtney. And that CIT handles power worse than a hall monitor. Worse than the _lead_ hall monitor."

* * *

As Gwen joined Tyler and Ezekiel, Courtney tapped her fingers against her arms. "Umm," she hummed, "I pick Harold."

Everyone, even Harold, even the semi-sentient breakfast made by Chef, was surprised by this. "We have you," Courtney said, looking at Eva, "that's more than enough."

Tyler's eye twitched as Eva nodded at the opposing team captain. "Oh, yeah?!" he shouted. "Well, I pick Cody!"

"I'm so scared now," the brunette CIT replied, looking at the scrawny tech-geek. Cody laughed sheepishly as he looked down at his scrawniness, then at Eva's firm muscles.

"I pick Bridgette." The blond surfer smiled, and high-fived her CIT friend. Tyler patted Ezekiel's shoulder, which confused the toque-wearing teen at first.

"I'm gonna go with...," Tyler looked a little discouraged with his remaining picks: Izzy, Heather, Beth, and Noah. "Oh, what the hell. Izzy, I pick you!"

The redhead shouted in joy, and leapt at the red-clad athlete, knocking him down with her glomp. Ezekiel whimpered and hid behind Gwen and Cody.

"I choose...," Courtney looked at the remaining three, "Beth." The farm girl grinned, and glomped Courtney, though nowhere near hard enough to knock over the CIT.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Was it a car or a cat I saw?)**

Beth - "Okay, I may be a little mad at Courtney about the whole gummi sthlug thing, but I was really happy not to be chosthen lastht." \She giggles and snorts.\

* * *

Tyler looked at the two remaining choices: Noah and Heather. With a furious glare at Heather, he said aloud, "I take... um... the bookworm!"

"Noah," the bookworm informed him. "You don't even know my name?! How much has Lindsay been affecting you, man?"

"That leaves Heather with Courtney's Green Team," Chris announced, clapping his hands. "Follow me, everyone! We're off to the stadium!"

"We have a stadium?" was the reply from most of the campers.

"That explains the loud construction noise every night, eh," Ezekiel grumbled.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Okay, we're sick of palindromes already.)**

Tyler - "Yes, baby, yes! This is it! Finally, a challenge I can really sink my teeth into! I am SO gonna love this!"

Noah - " 'Bookworm.' He called me 'bookworm.' Oh, I _hate_ jocks!"

Harold - "It was nice of Courtney to have me on her team, but I hope she's not doing this out of guilt. When I told her I was almost able to stand up on my own, I didn't tell her I fell on my face as a result of 'almost'."

Heather - "Great, now we're doing sports. Chris, you are getting more and more lame. What's next, rap battles? Hopscotch wars? Scavenger hunts?"

Ezekiel - "Oh man, Izzy's on my team!" \He points at his butt.\ "Look what she did to me when she was my opponent, now I gotta work with her?! I am so dead, eh."

Courtney - "I'm confident my leadership skills will be good enough for a sports game. I mean, we won the dodge ball tournament last season under my leadership. Though I wish Duncan was here... and Harold could walk... oh no, I've really shot myself in the foot, haven't I?"

Izzy - \She looks around, as if distracted, then 'notices' the camera in front of her.\ "Oh! Um... kiwis are funny, aren't they?"

* * *

A large stadium had indeed been built on Wawanakwa Island, though not quite so big as a usual stadium. Chris led the twelve campers into the stadium, and onto a large Canadian football field inside. When the campers were inside, a roar from a large crowd startled them.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALI...," Izzy started for the door, then realized the crowd were sports fans. "Oh wow! There must be about ten thousand people here!"

"Ladies and germs," Chris, who was standing in the middle of the field and holding his trusty megaphone, "welcome to Day 11 on Wawanakwa Island! Tonight, the Red Team and the Green Team will compete in one of the most hardcore games of Canadian football ever!"

The crowd roared its approval. Tyler roared right back, pumping his fists into the air; he was in Sports Nirvana.

"The game is rather like American soccer, if that's where you are from," Chris shouted to the crowd.

"Wait a minute," Courtney said, looking perplexed. "He has people from America here?"

"They held a contest to see a Total Drama Comeback competition live," Owen, who was standing with the contestants, explained to her. "Due to a little mishap with lawyers and fine print, the producers had to accept all entries."

"How many people are here?" Noah asked.

"Eleven thousand, nine hundred and forty-two people."

Gwen's grin was almost as wicked as one of Izzy's. "Fine print finally bites Chris, huh? Payback's a bi-"

"Here are the rules," Chris Maclean continued to shout to the crowd. "This game of football will be played with a hollow, metal ball!"

A metallic ball was thrown onto the field from one of the bullpens, bouncing with a rich, metal CLANG. As the crowd roared approval, the twelve campers stared in horror.

"He wants us to kick THAT around?!" Cody squeaked.

"It'll be okay, because the campers will be wearing these fashionable, metal boots," Chris shouted.

A pair of metallic boots were thrown onto the field from the bullpens. Chris Maclean put them on, then kicked the metal ball; a dull clang echoed across the stadium, but the host didn't seem the least bit in pain.

"Now that's cool," Eva said. Noah, however, looked rather leery.

"Chris?" the bookworm called out to the host, "this looks rather lot like the video game-"

"This metal ball is charged with powerful electricity, by the way, folks," Chris shouted to the crowd. "Oh Chef?"

The large cook walked onto the field from the bullpen. "Yeah, what?" No sooner was he on the field did Chris kick the metal ball at Chef Hatchet. It hit the cook in the chest, and an electric surge shocked the gruff man; he yelled out in pain and fell to his knees.

The campers stared, horrified again.

"You think he's still mad at Chef for tying him up?" Bridgette asked her friends.

"And the goalies will be wearing these sporty gloves for protection," the handsome host continued. Once again, said item was thrown onto the field, and Chris put them on. He picked up the metal ball with ease, and chucked it at Chef. The large man lifted up his hands to catch it, and was shocked again. Falling on his side, he whimpered as he kissed his tender fingers.

"Yeah, he's still mad at him, eh," Ezekiel said, as Bridgette covered her mouth in astonishment.

"Chris?" Noah called out again. "This is really starting to resemble-"

"Now every team is going to have a captain, chosen at the beginning of every match," Chris continued, interrupting Noah unintentionally. "They will have three teammates, and one goalie! I want you all to be as ruthless as lacrosse teams! Knock each over, ram your opponents, tackle them into the walls! Which, by the way..."

He walked over to Chef, who was slowly standing up. "... Is also electrified!"

He shoved the large man against the wall, which held Chef Hatchet in a loud, painful-sounding, electric shock. Letting out a vibrating scream, the cook fell off after being shocked for a seconds. Falling to the ground slightly charred, he mumbled, "I'm... gonna... kill you, Chris..."

"Wow, that looks fun," Izzy shouted joyfully. She started to run to the wall, but Cody and Gwen held her back. "Chris," Noah looked rather agitated now, "you are bordering on copyright infringement here!"

"To win a match, you must score five goals. The team that wins three games, best out of five, wins immunity, and the losing team votes someone off." Chris explained. "With every match, the captain of the team and the goalie must be a different person."

He then stepped on the collapsed Chef's back, beaming to the crowd. "And we call this challenge-"

"Don't do it, Chris Maclean," Noah cried out. "Don't say it!"

"... _Super Wawanakwa Strikers Charged_!"

Noah slapped his forehead. "That's it, you're getting sued," he shouted, rolling his eyes. "You are going to need a really good lawyer!"

"Red Team is in the bullpen on the left side of the field, Green Team is in the right bullpen! For the first match, the captains have already been decided!

"Ladies and gentlemen," Chris lifted his spare arm up as smiled the most he could, "our first match is going to be Tyler's Tornadoes verses Courtney's Crashers! And I think both teams would like to know... who is cheering them on the loudest!"

He gestured to the VIP box. Sitting there were the ten campers voted off: Lindsay, Katie, Sadie, Trent, Justin, Duncan, Geoff, Leshawna, DJ, and Owen.

"Bridgette babe," Geoff shouted, standing on his seat and pumping his fists, "you kick their butts! You da babe!"

"Princess, you've got the swiftest kick to balls that I know," Duncan shouted, laughing as well.

"Harold, you handsome white boy," Leshawna called out, "your team's gonna win this!"

"Gfff Iffee," Owen strained to yell with a mouthful of two hot dogs, "kiff burr bluts!"

"Taylor," Lindsay started, then covered her mouth in shame, "I mean, Tyler! You can lead your troops to victory!" She gave what she thought was the peace sign, but it was the hang loose sign.

"Noah babe," Katie shouted, with Sadie squealing happily next to her, "you can win this! Play your hardest!"

Noah laughed and waved back. "Don't plan on playing, Katie."

"Now each team," Chris shouted into the megaphone again, "gets fifteen minutes to choose their teammates and strategies!"

* * *

**(Tyler's Tornadoes)**

"Alright people," Tyler shouted, looking so excited he might burst, "I know we can win this strikers game! Who wants to play this game?"

"Not me," Noah said, so quick to answer it could be considered instinct.

"Oh that's right," Gwen said, shooting a glare at Noah. "Sports aren't your thing."

"Bingo, my lady goth," he replied with a condescending wink before sitting down.

Gwen started to put on her metal boots, and stomped over to Noah. He was spared from a violent, metal boot kicking because Cody and Ezekiel held her back; the know-it-all pulled out a book and started reading it.

"This is my normal reaction to sports, m'kay?" he said to them. "Sit back and let people who know how to do them do them. I wouldn't ask you people to gain the hardest achievements in The War of Prism, now would I?"

"Dudes, it's okay," Tyler told him teammates. "We got enough people! Zeke, Gwen, Cody, you guys can be on the field. Izzy, you be goalie!"

The redhead beamed and nodded a great many times. "You want me to punch them in the head with the metal gloves if they get too close?"

"Ummm, no, Izzy."

"But Chris said to get rough!"

"Yeah, but you'll also deck Bridgette and Beth in your thrill for violence," Gwen pointed out.

"What about Heather?"

"Hit her all you want." Ezekiel looked a little upset by this, and scratched the back of his head. The goth girl noticed this, and leaned over to him. "Please tell me you're not serious about her. I was counting on you and Cody to be the only sane ones here."

"Well, doo'nt you think a punch to the face with a metal gloved fist to be a little too strong, eh?"

"To Heather? It makes me wish we were boxing with them."

"Not if Eva was your opponent."

"Ah, touché, prairie boy."

"Now guys," Tyler said, clapping his hands, "they are obviously going to use Eva, so let's rely on speed and agility because they'll count on her to crush us into bloody smears on that field."

Cody whimpered, imagining himself being smeared. Izzy made a face, Noah raised an eyebrow, and Gwen rolled her eyes. "Anything else to say, captain?" she asked sarcastically.

"Just one thing, Gwen," Tyler said, grinning as he punched her shoulder playfully. "I want you to knock Courtney and Heather into that electric wall as often as you can."

Gwen's sadistic grin came back. "Tyler, you've officially made it into my good book."

* * *

**(Courtney's Crashers)**

"Okay, people," Courtney shouted, snapping her fingers, "let's discuss strategy now."

"At least we won't have to fight who's playing the game," Heather remarked, looking at Harold. The nerd looked downcast when she said that, holding his crutches next to him.

"That wath uncalled for," Beth hissed at the queen bee, crossing her arms.

"But who's going to be goalie?" Eva asked, brushing off the argument. "Shall I do it?"

"No, I'd rather you'd be out there, knocking them over like pins," Courtney told the fitness buff. "Heather can be goalie."

The queen bee looked appalled. "What? Why?"

"Because we have Eva on our side," Courtney explained to Heather with that snooty, 'I'm the authority here' voice that could cause a twitch in most peoples' eye. "I am sure that with her, and the other members of this team, we can take them down."

Beth nodded a great deal. "Yeah yeah yeah! Eva can pulverize them!"

Bridgette thumped Eva on the back, and the fitness buff took a deep breath. "So all the pressure's on me, then?" the muscular girl asked her captain.

"I'm sorry to do that, but I did pick you-"

"Good, because I can easily kick their heads off," Eva said with a wicked snicker, cracking her knuckles. She started to walk on the field.

"Wait, Eva," Courtney called after her, "we haven't discussed strategy y-"

"Screw that, let's just kick them until their bones shatter!"

The Green Team exchanged concerned looks. "Makes you glad she's on our side, huh?" Heather muttered.

"Very glad," Beth said in agreement.

"Alright, let's do this," Bridgette shouted, pumping her fists into the air. "Let's do it for the ones we love in the audience tonight! For Geoff!"

"For Duncan, the ogre," Courtney shouted in agreement.

"For Leshawna, my angel," Harold cried out.

"For Justhtin, the sthtud muffin," Beth declared, then giggled.

"You like Justin that much?" Courtney asked the short farm girl.

"I justht needed to pick sthomeone in the audience."

* * *

Courtney and Tyler shook hands in the center of the field. On one side were Ezekiel, Gwen and Cody, grinning maliciously at their opponents. At the other side were Eva, Bridgette, and Beth, smiling smugly and punching their palms.

"Alright, campers," Chris Maclean said, wearing a striped, referee uniform now, "before the game begins, check out the crowd. I've gotta say, you've got some major fans!"

The contestants looked up in the stands, holding up huge, handmade banners.

"**GWEN, WE LOVE YOU! WIN FOR ALL GOTHS!**"

"**BETH, KICK THEIR BUTTS! WE BELIEVE IN YOU!**"

"**MIZZ IZZY, YOU MAKE US DIZZY!**"

"**TYLER, HIT A HOME RUN **(crossed out) **A TOUCHDOWN **(crossed out) **A THREE-POINTER **(crossed out) **A CHECKMATE **(crossed out) **A GOAL FOR US!**"

"**GET WELL SOON, HAROLD!**"

"**GO NOAH, YOU HANDSOME, SARCASTIC DEVIL!**"

"**EVA, RIP THEM APART, SNAP THEIR LIMBS!**"

"**CIT: COURTNEY IS TERRIFIC!**"

"**LEARN TO COOK, CHEF BLAND-CHET!**"

"**BRIDGETTE, WIN-ETTE!!**"

"**FROM YOUR IMMENSE FANGIRL CLUB: WE LOVE YOU, CODY!**"

"**ZEKE, WE GO GEEKY FOR YOU!**"

"**HEATHER, MAY YOU GET CRUSHED BY SUMO WRESTLERS, YOU BI-**"

The queen bee scoffed and looked away. "Dweebs," she muttered.

"The first match is underway... now," Chris shouted, backing off. "Play some Strikers! Go-ooooooooooo!"

Tyler and Courtney bolted towards the metal, striker ball. The red-clad athlete made it there first, and he kicked it as hard as he could. It soared straight up into the air, and came right down... on Tyler's head.

With a wounded squeak, the jock fell down on his back, his fingers and eyes twitching. Gwen sighed and slapped her forehead. Courtney quirked an eyebrow, then began to dribble the ball in front of her.

She darted between Gwen and Cody, the latter elbowed down by Eva. Courtney kicked the metal ball at the goal, nearly missing Ezekiel who ducked, and Izzy (who had been sword fighting herself with two blades of grass until now) managed to catch it.

"Ooo, I gots tha ball," Izzy chirped, then she chucked it forward as hard as she could. Unfortunately, Ezekiel happened to be standing up from his ducking position, and it clanged against the back of his head.

"Mother," he whimpered as he fell down.

"Whoops," Izzy whimpered too.

Courtney kicked the metal ball again, and it whizzed by Izzy's head into the goal. The buzzer rang, the crowd went wild, and Izzy blew a raspberry at the opposing team. The CIT leapt in the air, cheering happily.

Ezekiel got up, then looked around at Izzy with a horrified look. "You _are_ trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"Umm... no?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Zeke, Zeke, looking like the Greeks, see?)**

Izzy - "It saddens me that Ezekiel is scared of me. I've always liked him, I liked Zeke before it was popular! It took courage to talk down to women when Eva was on his team, _courage_! If only I wouldn't stop near-mortally wounding him."

* * *

After Cody and eventually Tyler recovered, they took their positions; the red-clad athlete shook his head as he looked at the metal ball in front of him.

"Okay, teams," Chris Maclean shouted, "get ready and... go!"

Tyler pulled his foot back and kicked the striker ball as hard as he could. It shot straight into the air, this time with a sharper curve, and soared behind the Red Team captain. With a very painful clang, it hit Ezekiel on top of the head.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Tyler Tyler, kicking towards the sky bar!)**

Tyler - \furiously crossing his arms\ "That ball was seriously defective."

* * *

"Hooray," Izzy cheered as Ezekiel collapsed, "this time it wasn't me!"

Tyler whimpered, then he was bashed to the side by Eva. The fitness buff ran forward, swatting Gwen aside, then kicked the ball with incredible force. Izzy yelped in fear, then ducked as the metal ball soared over her, and shot a hole through the net.

"Oh my," Izzy whimpered. "This might be harder than I thought."

The ball was placed in the center for a third time, with Tyler in front of it once again. The campers kept glancing up at the air, waiting for another fly ball (something quite rare in football).

"Campers," Chris shouted, "watch the skies... and go!"

Tyler glared at Courtney, then used his heel to kick the metal ball backwards. The ball went flying upwards, not what the jock had planned, and right at Ezekiel's face. With a high-pitched scream, Ezekiel fell to the ground, covering his head and shaking.

Cody managed to stop the ball, then ran forward. He swiftly dodged Beth, maneuvered past Bridgette, then was rammed by Eva. The scrawny tech-geek was thrown against the wall by force, shocked, and fell to the ground.

"Sorry, fangirls," he whimpered.

Eva ran into Gwen, not even slowing down as the goth girl was battered aside. She stepped on Ezekiel, then kicked the metal ball at the goal. Izzy was sword fighting herself with two blades of grass when the ball went into the goal.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she called out. "I was waiting for Ezekiel to cry out in pain, I thought that was the warning signal."

The fourth ball was set out, and before Tyler could even react, Eva smashed him with her shoulder. Walking over him, she also rammed Gwen against the wall, and the goth girl let out a warbling scream before hitting the floor. Cody simply ran away from Eva, and the fitness buff kicked the metal ball into the goal.

Izzy, furious at Eva as the fitness buff turned to appeal to the roaring audience, picked up the metal ball and chucked it at her back. The muscular girl, without even looking back, did a backwards spinning kick and knocked the ball away; it hit Cody in the side, shocking the boy and knocking him down.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Izzy Izzy, getting rather frizzy!)**

Eva - \grinning\ "Who's bad? _I'm_ bad, that's who! Yeah!"

Izzy - \Her mouth is hanging open, and her eyes are wide in astonishment.\ "Oh crap."

Gwen - \bruised and angry\ "Tyler, why didn't you pick Eva? Why'd you pick yourself, at that rate?"

Courtney - "Well, it's sure satisfying to see that cranky Gwen get smacked around a little. She could use a little humility, she rolls her eyes way too often at people."

Ezekiel - \He is pulling his toque down over his eyes.\ "No moo'r Izzy, eh! She's moo'r scary than C'thulu!"

* * *

Cody, Ezekiel, Gwen, and Tyler tried to pull themselves together, but they were still shaken when Chris placed the ball in the middle of the field. "Ready, and go," he shouted.

"No, no go," Cody cried out.

Tyler, furious at losing, ran towards the metal ball and kicked it towards the opposing goal post. Heather, at the other side filing her nails, watched as the ball rolled slowly to her. The queen bee sighed as it rolled to a stop in front of her, then she kicked away from her.

Eva stopped it under her foot, then grinned at the opposing team. Gwen, Cody, Tyler, and Ezekiel exchanged looks.

"Do we run in fear from her, eh?" Ezekiel asked his teammates.

"No, I have one plan...," Tyler said, tapping his head.

"Oh, and what's that?" Gwen snapped.

"DOG PILE!!"

Tyler, Ezekiel, Gwen, and Cody all leapt on top of Eva, and the fitness buff was covered by opposing team members. With a great strain, she tossed them all off her. Ezekiel and Gwen hit the electric wall, and Cody landed on his head. The muscular girl grinned, then charged at the goal.

Izzy snarled and held up her gloved hands, staring Eva down. When the fitness buff kicked the ball, it shot to the other side of the goal and went in. The crowd cheered wildly, and Chris shouted, "The first match goes to Courtney's Crashers, the Green Team!"

The redhead, on her knees after she had dived for the ball, lost her temper again and jumped on Eva's back, shouting in frustration. Even though she was hitting Eva on top of the head with her metal gloved hands, the fitness buff didn't seen to feel her on her.

Apparently she did notice, because eventually pushed Izzy off her back with a single backwards shove. The redhead lay on the grass, stared up at the sky, and said, "Not my best moment, that."

As the Green Team hugged each other and cheered, the Red Team limped back to their side. Noah looked up from his book to see a blackened and furious Gwen, a dizzy and sore Cody, a shaking and twitching Ezekiel, and one very upset Tyler.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Noah Noah, would look bad in a feather boa.)**

Noah - "And people wonder why I don't play sports."

* * *

After discussing it amongst themselves, the two teams picked their new captains for Match 2. They told Chris, who nodded and turned towards the audience.

"The next round will be starting in fifteen minutes," Chris announced. "It's Gwen's Goliaths verses Heather's Hellhounds! And yes, I made up those titles, they are stuck with them!

"Will the Red Team do better this time, or are they going to stand as much chance as a twinkie does against a steam roller?"

* * *

**(Gwen's Goliaths)**

"Well," Gwen said, wiping the soot off of her upper chin, "since I don't want to humiliate myself again in front of eleven thousand, nine hundred and forty-two spectators, Trent, and national TV, I suggest we do something about the Unstoppable Force known as Eva."

"How about a blow dart gun?" Izzy suggested, grinning.

"No, Izzy," the goth captain grumbled. She wiped some more soot off her, shaking it off her black and green clothing.

"Tranquilizer rifle?"

"No, Izzy!"

"Well, I think," Cody said as he brushed soot off himself too, "and this is hard for me to suggest, but maybe we should kick the ball at her as hard as we could."

"I can do that," Tyler declared, raising his hand.

"No no no," Gwen snapped at him, "you are being goalie. At least there, you won't be giving Ezekiel multiple concussions."

"Izzy gave him concussions there too," the jock complained.

"Grenade?" Izzy suggested.

"NO, IZZY!"

Gwen heaved in frustration, and Cody tried massaging her shoulders to help calm her down. Though she at first tried to shrug him off at first, she eventually calmed down. "Okay, look guys, I'm sorry, but we're losing this game against Courtney, Eva, and... Heather! I don't want to lose to those three, especially Heather!"

Ezekiel nodded. "I know we can do this, eh!"

"Go team go," Noah muttered.

Before Noah realized what was happening, Gwen lifted Noah off his seat and against the wall. "You do that halfhearted cheering again, your butt will be off the island once again."

Noah blinked with wide eyes, then frowned at her. "Are you sure you're a goth? I've never known goths to be as angry as you are."

"I know, isn't she wonderful?" Cody remarked, grinning.

He chuckled nervously when Gwen cast him a weirded-out glance, then the goth shrugged. "Look Noah," she continued, "don't you want to impress Katie?"

"By doing something I'm not good at, have rarely ever done, and get my butt handed to me out there with a matrie'd telling me he looks forward to my next visit? No thank you."

Gwen sighed, then looked at her other teammates. "Let's just get them this time!"

* * *

Gwen and Heather shook hands at the center of the field, squeezing as hard as possible. Chris looked over at the Red Team, where Izzy, Cody, and Ezekiel were growling and glaring at their opponents. On the Green Team with smug smiles were Bridgette, Beth, and Eva, wriggling their fingers in anticipation.

Courtney looked nonchalant at her goal, as if she prepared no action her way. Tyler was taking a battle position, his body getting stiff from how tight he had his muscles clenched.

"Heather's Hellhounds, Gwen's Goliaths... get ready...," Chris hummed, "AND GO!"

The crowd bellowed in excitement, as this was the rivalry that everyone loved: Heather against Gwen. The goth girl reached the ball first, shoving Heather to the ground violently. She turned around and kicked the ball to Izzy.

The redhead watched as Eva bolted towards her, and the crazy girl got a crazy grin. She waited until she saw the whites in Eva's eyes, then let loose a powerful kick. The electric, metal ball hit the muscular girl in the stomach, and the girl fell to her knees, gasping for air.

"Gonna... kill you... Izzy...," she strained, glaring up at the one who struck her.

"Ha! How's it feel, woman?" the redhead cackled, pointing at her. "How's it fee-"

She was rammed to the side by a full-body tackle from Beth. "Thorry, Iththy," she shouted.

The farm girl was knocked away by the farm boy Ezekiel. "Sorry, Beth," he apologized to her too, then headed for the goal.

"You got a clear shot, dude," Tyler yelled at him from the other side of the field. "Shoot for it!!"

Heather glared at Tyler from afar, then at Ezekiel. "Not on my watch," the queen bee snarled, then dashed towards the prairie boy.

Ezekiel didn't notice Heather coming at him, all he knew was that he didn't want to let his friends and teammates down. So he pulled back his foot, and kicked the metal ball as hard as he could up at the top of the goal.

It slammed against Heather's forehead, laying her out flat on the field.

"Oh great googa mooga," Ezekiel shouted in terror as the crowd cheered their approval, "what have I done?!"

He ran over to Heather and gripped her shoulders. Pressing his ear against her chest, he desperately listened for a heartbeat.

"Stop checking to see if she's dead and help," Gwen shouted, passing by Ezekiel with the ball at her feet.

Heather let out a high-pitched squeal and pointed straight up. "Look momzie," she chirped, "birds! Birds go flying around my head, as do stars!"

"I can't leave her like this, eh," the prairie boy shouted, "she's got birds in the attic and stars in her eyes!"

Gwen kicked a shot at the goal, but Courtney managed to catch it. The CIT chucked the ball back out, and it rolled right to fully-recovered Eva.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Cody shouted in terror, then ran when Eva looked at him.

"How does she recover that fast?" Tyler grumbled. "She's like the Bionic Woman, the Iron Woman, the Indestructible Object!"

Eva bolted towards the goal, then launched a mighty kick at it. Tyler managed to catch it, surprising everyone (including himself).

"Yeah," he cheered, putting the ball on the ground, "that's how I roll!"

He pulled his foot back and kicked the ball, which went straight over Tyler's head and bounced into the goal.

"Um... does that count?" Tyler asked sheepishly.

"I'm afraid so," Chris said, pointing to the score board. The Green Team gained the first point for the second match.

"AW, COME ON," the red-clad goalie shouted, furiously kicking the ball. "What's wrong with this thing?"

"Doesn't do that when I kick it, dork," Eva replied, shoving Tyler to the ground as she went to retrieve the ball.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Eva Eva, nothing up her sleeve'a!)**

Eva - "The Red Team is full of wimps. Well, maybe Gwen isn't a wimp, but a striker game isn't her thing. It's just too bad I gotta humiliate her in front of eleven thousand, nine hundred and forty-two spectators, Trent, and national TV."

Beth - "Thith looks easthy... too easthy. Eva cannot carry thith team for tho long..."

Heather - \wobbling back and forth, giggling\ "Look, birds in the outhouse!" \She cackles, then falls down on the outhouse's floor.\

* * *

The second match was rather painful for both sides. Izzy and Eva were at odds, with both of them trying to hit each other with the ball more than the goals. Izzy had bruises on her legs, left shoulder, and her left temple, while Eva also them on her legs, a bruised stomach, and forehead.

Gwen, Izzy, and Ezekiel were smacked by the ball and into the electric wall by Eva (and sometimes by an overanxious Izzy). Bridgette and Beth were trying their hardest to help their team, but Eva was so into the game that she rammed her teammates a couple times when they had the ball.

Goal two for the Green Team came with a painful ricochet off of Ezekiel's head and into the goal. Goal three and four were done by Eva, knocking Tyler into the goal both times as well. Gwen managed to score a goal, as she darted between the Green Team, clothes lining Heather in the process.

The fifth and final goal was done by Beth, who had no trouble scoring a goal when Tyler was lying on the ground in pain.

"Heather's Hellhounds win the second match," Chris Maclean announced. The crowd went wild again, and the Green Team waved to their pleased fans.

"And the best part of it all is," the handsome host declared, "we have two players down! Now this is a real challenge!" 

* * *

**(Green Team)**

Courtney and Eva carried Heather off the field, as the queen bee giggled like a drunk and pointed up at the sky. "More birdies! I wuv birdies, don't you?"

Eva tossed the giggling girl onto the bench. "Well, this is just great," she grumbled. "She's further away than the planet that's not a planet anymore."

"Hey now," Beth said, crossing her arms, "that'sth not nice."

"You're standing up for Heather, Beth?" Harold asked, looking startled.

"No, Pluto! It ith tho sthtill a planet!"

"You go, girl," Bridgette declared, high-fiving Beth. "No scientist tells us what we can consider a planet or not!"

"Will you two knock it off?" Eva barked. "We have to think of something now that Heather's a babbling brook!"

"Eva, I'm leader here still," Courtney remarked, jabbing her thumb at her chest, "and-"

The fitness buff cut her off with an extra-sharp glare. "And a lot of good you've done, picking the gimp for your team."

Courtney glared right back at her. "Don't call Harold that."

"But he is! He cannot even stand, how is he going to help us win this challenge?"

"I can stand," Harold spoke up. He slowly, very slowly, began to stand up. His legs shook, like if he was using them for the first time. He managed to stand for a few seconds before he tipped over. Courtney and Bridgette grabbed him, and helped him sit down.

"Please don't strain yourself, Harold," Courtney told him. "We can handle this."

"It's all good, I am not so good at sports."

"True. But at least you could dodge anything they kick at you."

Beth cleared her throat, trying to cut in. "Tho... if I have this right, we're going to have four people on our team?"

"Just because Heather is loopy doesn't mean she cannot be out there to be a distraction."

The queen bee was now under the bench, looking up at the bottom of it. "Lookie lookie, gum! Gum under the bench! Can I eats it?"

Eva blinked, then slapped her forehead. "... Or not. Man, with four people, we are going to get whipped."

* * *

**(Red Team)**

"We are gonna get whipped so bad," Cody whimpered, holding his legs up to his chest. "Eva's a monster! She's not human, NOT HUM-"

Gwen slapped him across the face. He blinked, then shook his head. "Thanks, Gwen, I needed that."

"Any time, Cody." "You slap him an awful lot, you know that?" Noah remarked, not looking up from his book. "Is that your way of showing affection to your biggest fan?"

Gwen took a deep breath, then suddenly smirked. "Well, Noah, you can make all the smart remarks you want... on the field."

Now Noah looked up from his book, quite startled. "What? No! Sports-"

"... Are going to be your thing," the goth continued. "You gotta, because Tyler is taking a little break."

She jerked her thumb at Tyler, who was lying on the bench. The jock was moaning in pain, with bruises all over his body. "Damn it," he whimpered. "Maybe mom was right. Maybe I'm not cut out for sports!"

Ezekiel patted his friend's shoulder. "Doo'nt put yourself down, eh. This strikers game is really hard, and we have Eva against us."

"We're gonna have to form a plan if we want any chance of winning," Gwen said, crossing her arms.

"Look, this is really not my thing," Noah grumbled as he, grudgingly, put on the metal boots. "How many times to do I have to say this?"

"We've got this made, Noah," Izzy shouted, looking more excited than ever. "Harold cannot stand, Heather is in goo-goo land because Ezekiel almost smashed her skull..."

As Ezekiel blushed and scratched the back of his head, Izzy punched her palm as her eyes narrowed, cunningly. "And I... have a plan."

* * *

"**So what is Izzy's plan? Does it involve dynamite? Is it even going to be legal?"**

"**Which team is going to win this: the Red Team or the Green Team? And whoever wins, who's going to get voted off?"**

"**And just how did Chris get a stadium built on the island? How'd he fit that in the budget? And is he going to get sued for this one?**"

--

**Part 2, Match 3 coming up soon!**

* * *

--

--

--

In case you're not getting it, the challenge is based of Super Mario Strikers Charged, which is American soccer but much, much more painful and cool. If I get any of the rules or sayings of football / soccer wrong, then I'd like to say, "There are no rules, ha ha ha."

**Red Team** - Tyler, Ezekiel, Gwen, Cody, Izzy, Noah

**Green Team** - Courtney, Eva, Harold, Bridgette, Beth, Heather


	34. Day 11, Part 2: Greatest Game Ever Raged

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. Pokémon belongs to Game Freaks, might as well acknowledge that. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. In case of emergency, you can use your seat as a flotation device.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Most days will, mostly likely, be only two parts from now on. With so many fewer campers to write about, and the challenges getting a bit more simple, it's time I shorten it a bit. The chapters will most likely be longer, so you'll still get a healthy dose of TDC.

And MAN, did I make a lot of errors in this one! Thanks to everyone who pointed them out to me!

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 34 (Day 11, Part 2)** - And It's A GO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOAL!

* * *

"And we're back," Chris Maclean shouted through his bullhorn, "back to more action and more violence!"

"What does he mean, 'we're back'?" Noah grumbled to himself as the crowd cheered. "We never went anywhere."

The bookworm was frustrated, mostly because he was now out there on the field, wearing metal boots. Gwen had to push him over to the goalie box, as the know-it-all began listening every bone in the human body that he could recall, because he was sure they were all going to be broken.

As the bookworm continued to rant to himself at the goalie post, Izzy looked at her troops: Ezekiel, Gwen, and Cody. She grinned happily at them, but Ezekiel, who had an ice pack under his toque, flinched at the sight of her looking at him, and covered his head.

"Is he going to be like this all day?" Izzy asked aloud.

"You have caused him a great deal of traumatization," Gwen said.

"And pain too," Cody added.

"A little pain never did anyone harm," the redhead replied with a giggle.

On the other side, Beth looked at her teammates. Courtney and Eva looked ready but slightly nervous. Bridgette, at the goalie post, waved at Beth and shouted, "We can do this! Heather was just slowing us down anyway!"

"That'sth right," Beth yelled back. "Courtney, Eva, are you ready to rock?"

"And roll," Eva said, punching her palm, "all over them."

Chris Maclean walked over to the center of the field. "Okay, you two teams, I want a mean, dirty fight. For this could be the final match, and it's Izzy's Infantrymen verses Beth's Brutalizers! Are you ready?"

"Yeth," Beth replied, staring Izzy down.

"Roger-rooney," Izzy replied, staring Beth down.

"Then... GO!!"

The moment Chris dropped his arm, Beth and Izzy ran towards the ball. The farm girl would have reached it first, if it wasn't for the bloodcurdling scream that erupted from one of Izzy's teammates. Ezekiel, with a vicious (as humanly possible for Zeke) snarl, was running in her general direction.

The farm girl cried out and covered her head, which was not necessary as Ezekiel ran right past her. Eva watched with growing eyes as the prairie boy leapt through the air and right on her, pinning her down.

"Ow! Get off me, you twerp," Eva shouted, struggling with him. It should have been easy for the fitness buff to throw scrawny Ezekiel off her, but Izzy had told him a few ways to really put up a struggle (no one wanted to know how she knew these things).

As the wrestling match between the two continued, Izzy zipped by Courtney and Beth, then kicked the ball at the goal. Bridgette missed it because she tripped over her metal boots, and Izzy's team scored one.

"Yes," Owen cheered louder than everyone. "That's my girl! That's my crazy redhead!"

"Not bad," DJ said. "Though I cannot imagine Eva's going to forgive Zeke any time soon."

No sooner had DJ uttered those words, there was an arching scream as Ezekiel was thrown up into the air. He sailed above the electric wall, and landed in the bleachers, right in DJ's lap.

"Boy, she didn't want that, eh," he commented. He then looked up at the person who's lap he was in. "Oh thank you, my big, strong hero."

"Anytime, Zeke."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Up up and away!)**

Ezekiel - \covering his face in shame\ "I am never, ever going to live any of this doo'wn."

* * *

Chris Maclean blew a whistle, starting up the game again. Izzy, cackling like a madwoman, knocked over Beth in her attempts to get the ball. She also managed to clothesline Courtney and Eva in one go, and scored a second point.

"I'm your worst nightmare, you hear me?" she bellowed, raising her hands up in the air. "For I am Izzy, Goddess of the Striker Field! Bow before me, mortals, BOW DOWN!!"

"She's getting a little too into that," Gwen said to Cody. The tech-geek nodded, but he was smiling and marveling how Izzy strutted.

The third goal was done much in the same sense as the last two. Izzy knocked over Beth and Courtney, Cody and Gwen dog piled Eva (where the tech-geek gave her a wet willie), and Ezekiel was ordered to tackle Bridgette.

"Soo'ry a'boot this, Bridgette," he shouted as he pounced on her, distracting her long enough for Izzy to score.

"That was part of the plan, wasn't it, Zeke?" Bridgette teased him. He turned bright red and ran away.

The fourth and fifth goals came fast, as the Red Team were pouncing, tackling, and ramming any of the players, whether or not they got in the way. When the final goal was scored and the crowd went wild, the Green Team was covered in bruises and grass stains.

* * *

**(Green Team)**

"Well, that was about as much fun as a physical," Courtney muttered as she stomped over to the bullpen. "Why does Chris allow this kind of roughhousing to happen?"

"If you don't know that by now," Eva grumbled, "then what island have you been staying on?"

She angrily shoved Heather off of the bench, and the queen bee continued to try and grab invisible butterflies. Her blow to the head was only slightly improved, since beforehand, she had been trying to grab moths.

"It would be tho much easthier if Heather could play," Beth remarked.

"Or Harold," Eva said with a growl, looking at the nerd's legs. Harold himself looked down at them in shame.

"We cannot allow these things to overcome us," Courtney remarked, shaking a finger at Eva. "There is no one to blame for this."

"Except that you picked Harold."

"Look, knock it off, Eva! We have to work together to beat the other team when we don't have as many players. Why don't you..."

She swallowed hard, then replied, "Why don't you return the violence they showed us, and pulverize them?"

Beth gasped. "You want Eva to beat them up?"

"Look, she's not going to seriously hurt them-"

"But she will," Harold pointed out.

"No she won't!"

"Errr, yes I will," Eva admitted.

"Look, knock it off! It won't be that bad, just smack them around, we score five goals, we win! It's as simple as that, quit being a bunch of... dunderheads!"

" 'Dunderheads'?" Beth repeated, giggling.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Full of dunderheads.)**

Courtney - "I should have been more cautious when picking my teammates! I needed a bunch of bloodthirsty monsters, more like Eva! I should've picked Izzy, because her insanity would have been on my side then. And if she had taken a ball to the head, she wouldn't be different in any way."

Izzy - \giggling madly\ "This is so much fun! I love smacking around those dunderheads!"

* * *

**(Red Team)**

"Well Noah, doo'nt you feel silly, getting so uptight about going 'oot there, eh?" Ezekiel asked his teammate, smiling.

"Don't patronize me," he replied, crossing his arms. "I know what's next: you want me to be one of the teammates out there, around on the field.

"Kicking...," his left eye began to twitch, "and... and... running! I'm not meant for such physical tasks!"

"Yes, Noah, we all know how much you loathe to even stand up," Gwen replied, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know why you act like this, you're begging to be voted off. Again."

"That'd be rewarding bad behavior, since we're sending him to Katie," Izzy remarked, giggling.

"Whatever," Noah replied, turning slightly red and looking away. "So, Lady Canada of Insanity, what's the plan this time?"

The redhead put her face right into his, her crazy grin never leaving her face. "It involves you."

Noah stared back, eyes wide. He swallowed and whimpered, "Oh Lord, I'm gonna die, aren't I?"

"It's possible, but it's a risk Izzy is willing to take."

"Thank you _so_ much. You feeling that confident gives me peace of mind."

* * *

"Here we go again, ladies and gentlemen," Chris shouted to the audience. "At match four, we have Ezekiel's Eradicators verses Eva's Evisceraters! Will this end the game of strikers, or will we be going for the traditional fifth match?"

Eva growled at Ezekiel as Chris talked, doing every single threatening gesture known to man: slicing a finger across her neck, stomping down hard and smearing something invisible under her foot, punching her palm, cracking her knuckles, making clawing motions at her eyes and squeezing her fists (actually, this wasn't known to most people, but with Eva doing it, it was quite threatening).

Gwen, at the Red Team goal post, wiped away a bead of sweat from her forehead. "If this doesn't work...," she whispered to herself.

Beth stood at the goal post of the Green Team, keeping her fingers crossed on one hand and muttering quiet prayers. "Pleathe don't let anyone die on thith field... or sthuffer stherious injuries. Or any disfigurement. In fact, I know I'm being picky, but if thith could be as painleth ath pothible... that'd be really generousth."

"Now, people," Chris Maclean shouted, "get ready and... GO!"

No sooner had he let out these words than the two most psychotic people on the field sprang into action. Eva bolted for the metal ball, her glare never leaving Ezekiel. "You're dead, home sch-"

"HUMAN CANNONBALL," Izzy roared.

She proceeded to pick Noah up and threw him at Eva.

"This is such," Noah wailed, "a bad idea-aaaaaaah!"

Screaming and thrashing, he hit Eva like a non-explosive missile. The two lay on the ground, dazed and weirded out.

Izzy, Cody, and Ezekiel continued to pass the ball around, kicking it past Bridgette and Courtney. The game raged on, with passes being stolen, insults flying, and full-body tackles. All of them were, at one point or another, electri-fried by the wall or the ball, but they carried on.

And in the VIP part of the stands, their friends continued to cheer them on.

"Go Gwen's team," Trent shouted, cupping his mouth with his hands, "give 'em hell!"

"Oh ow, Zeke just took another blow to the head by that ball," Leshawna remarked. "I doubt he can stand much more of that; you know, he's becoming a lot like you, Trent."

"Say what?"

"C'mon, man, you take a lot of damage. During the first season, you were like a white punching bag."

"I don't think I'm that accident-prone, Lesh-"

He was hit in the head by an metal, airborne, striker ball. As Leshawna tried to inspect the wound, Eva angrily shouted from down on the field, "Give us back the ball so we can play, dickweeds!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Dunderheads are go!)**

Ezekiel - "Eva has a lot of anger issues, eh. Scary."

Cody - "Girls are so hot when they're aggressive, don't you agree? Like when Gwen gets serious, her face gets cutely scrunched up, she narrows her piercing eyes, she does that cute hissing sound..."

\He stops, looking startled at what he just said.\ "Oh. Oh dear. Can you delete that so Trent and Gwen don't see it?"

* * *

Eva had trouble concentrating when Cody and Ezekiel kept trying to knock her into the electric wall. Ezekiel was the one doing the knocking, though, because Cody's tiny frame was only able to notify Eva of his presence when he tackled her.

Izzy was not showing any mercy. She kept trampling Courtney and Bridgette, leaving boot treads on the two girls. Ezekiel was trying to be as tough, but he didn't sound quite so threatening when he was always shouting, "Soo'ry a'boot this," "This may hurt a little, eh," and "I gonna trample you... please?"

Izzy managed to score three times in-between her violent tackles. The fourth goal for her team was actually when she left the ball to go pounce Eva, and Noah was the nearest one.

"No... I don't believe in kicking balls," Noah replied, staring at the ball with wide eyes. "You know, golden rule and all, don't want it to happen to me-"

"Shoot the damn goal," Izzy, on Eva's back, yelled at him.

With an annoyed sigh, Noah propped his foot back and kicked the ball as hard as he could. Beth leapt to catch it but missed; the ball bounced into the goal.

Chris boggled at the situation in front of him as the audience cheered. "_Noah_ scored?" he said to himself, scratching his head. "Errr, I mean...," he held the megaphone up to his mouth, "Noah has scored the fourth point for the Ezekiel's Eradicators!"

Harold, in the Green Team's bullpen, was wringing his hands nervously. "If this keeps up," he muttered to himself, "we may lose!"

" 'Loose'?" Heather repeated, lying face-down on the bench (quite literally face-down, her face was on the bench). "People call me loose at school, that's so mean."

"Really, Heather?" Harold asked, looking at her.

"I love cardboard," she added.

The nerd rolled his eyes. "Well, if you're not able to recover, I guess... it's up to me."

As Harold struggled to stand up, the battle raged on on the field. Bridgette and Ezekiel were covered in bruises, Izzy's hair was standing up on its own, and Eva looked more exhausted than any of them.

The crazy redhead and the fitness buff glared at each other, electric-charred and heaving for air. With battle roars, they charged at each other, banged heads, and fell to the ground.

"This game...," Izzy whimpered, "rules."

"Most fun...," Eva moaned, "I've ever had."

Bridgette and Courtney saw their leader lying on the ground, and realized they were in trouble. Courtney was pounced by Cody (which really made Duncan mad), and Bridgette was spun around when one of Ezekiel's halfhearted tackles hit her on the side. Noah, really getting into the game, got the soccer ball at his feet, and dribbled up to the goal.

Beth looked at that metal ball, the wicked grin on Noah's face, then screamed and covered her head. "Alright alright, just don't hit me!"

With a wild cry, he kicked the ball into the goal. The crowd went wild, and Noah pumped his fists up in the air and cheered back at them. "Katie baby," he shouted to the VIP box, "that one's for you!"

"You kicked a metal ball into a goal for me?" Katie called back, her eyes aflutter. "You really _do_ like me! Oh Noah..."

She swooned and collapsed in Sadie's lap, sighing happily. "I love that guy."

"The Red Team of the Ezekiel's Eradicators have won their second game," Chris Maclean announced. "It's come down to the wire, so let's see who gets their cord yanked from the socket, and who's charged for victory.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - ... Wha?)**

Gwen - "That was the worst analogy I've ever heard."

Noah - \grinning\ "Oh wow, I LOVE this! I think I could get into sports more so!" \He looks around, then at the book he is holding in his lap.\ "Oh... um... maybe next week."

* * *

**(Green Team)**

Courtney rubbed her sore head. "I cannot take much more of this," she complained. "They're just beating us up so they can win this."

Eva moaned, shoved Heather off the bench, and laid down on it. "I'm not going back out there," she muttered. "I hurt all over, every muscle is sore..."

"Eva, we don't have anyone to replace you," Courtney shouted.

"... nerves are frayed, temples are pounding..."

"We gotta win thith one, and it's not like they're in perfect shape either," Beth replied.

"... splitting headache, electric burns..."

"How is Heather?" Courtney asked her teammates.

"Loopy, stupid, non responsive, and not fit to play the game," Harold replied.

"Gee, how'sth that different than any other time?" Beth joked.

"... achy knees, stomach hurts, butt's real sore..."

Courtney looked ready to tear out her hair. "Stop talking, everyone! For the love of everyone good and holy, we need to win this! Now who's going out there?"

"... legs like lead, throbbing corns..."

"Eva, stop that," Courtney cried out. "If you really need a break, be goalie!"

"Oh right," the fitness buff muttered. "I'm going to be goalie while you frail beings are going to try to shoot goals."

"Now that'sth harsh," Beth replied, staring down at her metal boots.

"Well, c'mon, there aren't even four of you like there should be."

Bridgette waved her hand in front of Heather's face; the queen bee giggled and tried to grab it. "I'm pretty sure we could use Heather as... I dunno, we could lie her on the field and hope they trip over her."

"No, wait." Harold startled everyone as he slowly got up on his feet. Holding himself up on his knees, he managed to straighten himself up. "I... I can stand."

"Oh my," Bridgette said, her hand on Harold's shoulder. "Are you sure you can do this?"

"Yes," he hissed, pumping his fist. "It's time for me to make my comeback! A total drama comeback!"

"Harold...," Courtney started, then patted his other shoulder, "I have faith in you. You want to lead this?"

"Yes! Woohoo!"

* * *

**(Red Team)**

Gwen collapsed on the bench, taking deep breaths. "Guys, I've have my fill."

"How bad could it be?" Noah asked, still grinning happily.

The goth girl scowled at him, then parted her hair above her right temple. She had a bloody bump there, which looked so painful that the others' heads hurt.

"Ouch," Cody remarked. He got an ice pack and handed it to her. The goth reached out for it, but her shoulder throbbed too much.

"I'm gonna regret asking this," she muttered, "but can you apply it to my wound?"

Cody smiled, unfazed, slowly put the ice pack to her wound. She hissed at first, then moaned in appreciation. "I hate these challenges."

"I love them now," Noah shouted, pumping his fists into the air. "I can really get behind this game!"

"If this is an act, you're a better actor than I thought you were," Tyler replied, then shrugged. "But I hear you, man."

The jock and the bookworm high-fived, a sight most people live a lifetime never seeing. Tyler grinned at his teammates and said, "Guys, I'm ready to get back into the game."

Izzy and Gwen looked at him dubiously. "You want to play the game again?" Izzy asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You face-plant more often than a Mr. Potato Head with unsteady feet."

Gwen took a second to stare at Izzy before continuing. "Tyler, I hate to be too rude, but you're not exactly the best at this game, unless you face away from our opponent's goal post and kick the ball as hard as you can."

The jock ran a finger underneath his headband. "Guys, I assure you, I'm more than ready."

"Give Tyler a chance, eh," Ezekiel cried out, patting his friend's shoulder. "He's the jock, he can win this for us!"

"And I'll be out there too," Izzy shouted, punching up at the air.

"Tyler and Izzy on the field at once, both eager to fight," Noah remarked. "Like having the Tasmanian Devil and Inspector Clouseu in a china shop."

"So, Cody," Gwen said as she managed to hold the ice pack to her head herself, "are you going to lead the troops this time?"

"I was hoping to do that," Noah spoke up.

"You want to take the responsibility of our loss if we do lose?"

"On second thought, Cody seems more fit for leadership.

* * *

"It's time for Cody's Cyborgs to take on Harold's Hunters," Chris declared.

"Those names aren't actually that bad," Gwen remarked, sitting on the bench in the bullpen. "Maybe when running out of dumb names, he actually came up with some good ones."

"People," Chris continued to shout out to the audience, "all eleven thousand, nine hundred and forty-two of you, I want to you to start cheering for your favorite camper on the field!

"Ready... and GO!"

And boy, did the crowd cheer. It was almost deafening to the campers, but their hearts swelled as they heard the cheers for themselves.

"**Cody, Cody, robot man! Reprogram them and kick their can!**"

"**Tyler, Tyler, he's our jock! You will win, because you rock!**"

"**Izzy, Izzy, crazy girl! Kick 'em in the gut, and make them hurl!**"

"**Noah, Noah, you're so sly! Give 'em heck, and make them cry!**"

"**Zeke, Zeke, Ezekiel! Make them know true pain feels!**"

"**Harold, Harold, you're awesome! Beat them until they're black and numb!**"

"**Courtney, Courtney, you're our gal! Make them all throw in the towel!**"

"**Bridgette, Bridgette, you're so fine! Tonight, in hell, your foes will dine!**"

"**Go Beth, go Beth, you're the best! They're going down just like the rest!**"

"**Eva, Eva, make the switch! You're better than that Heather bi-**"

The campers waved up at the crowd before returning glares. Chris Maclean clapped his hands, then said to them, "Now let's get this party started, rocking, booming, and movin'! It's time to... GO!!"

Cody and Harold hurried to the ball, the tech-geek making it to the ball first. He kicked the ball, barely missing Harold. Charging through the defenders, the red-suited jock made it through them and approached the goal post.

Eva was glaring at him, hands up and ready to catch the ball. Tyler glared back, then his face fell. Turning around so that his back was facing Eva, he let out a battle cry and kicked the ball as hard as he could. The striker ball soared over his head, backwards, and fell right on Eva's head. The fitness buff moaned and fell down as the ball rolled into the goal.

As the game continued on, the campers were seriously putting the hurt on each other. Teenagers were knocked around, the ball struck them, they were rammed against the electric wall, and unchecked tackles were more common than in... any sport.

"Ow, gosh," Harold muttered as he struggled to get up. "Izzy sure puts a lot of heart in her tackles, doesn't she?"

Said Izzy was tackling Cody now, because she was on a roll.

Bridgette managed to score a goal against Ezekiel after her third attempt, then Courtney scored a second goal. Tyler managed to score two more goals (the second goal was only because Eva was recovering from the first, but the third goal was rather impressive).

Harold narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the scoreboard, two to three. He knocked Cody down (the only person scrawny enough to be knocked down by Harold), and took the ball down to the Red Team's goalie post.

Striking a couple ninja poses, he let out a wheezing battle cry and kicked the ball. Ezekiel started for it, but Bridgette tackled him. The buzzer rang as the nerd cheered and high-fived his teammates.

"Turnaround's fair play, Zeke," Bridgette whispered to Ezekiel, giggling as she stood up.

"Ayup yup," he replied as he stood up too. "_Although_," he thought to himself, "_having you pounce me is much nicer, eh_."

Harold managed to score a fourth goal too, psyching out Ezekiel by feigning a right kick but delivering a left one to the other side of the goal. Cody scored a goal for the Red Team, leaving a sputtering-mad Eva.

"It's now sudden death," Chris announced. "The team that scores a goal wins it all! GO!"

No punches were pulled now, if they were before. Noah dribbled the ball before being rammed to the side by Courtney. She kicked the ball at Cody, catching him in the gut. As he fell down, Izzy took the ball and headed for the green goal. A pass to Tyler was intercepted by Bridgette, who was rammed against the wall by Noah.

"I love this violence," Chris cheered. "Seeing these guys beat the crap out of each other, what more could anyone ask for?"

Izzy kicked the ball hard, but it didn't go the way she had planned. It struck Chris in the noggin, and the handsome host went down like a sack of handsome potatoes. The crowd went wild.

"Nice kick, Iththy," Beth called out as she dribbled the ball. She accidentally kicked it too hard, and it went out-of-bounds.

"Penalty kick," Chef announced, since Chris was still woozy. "Tyler, you kick this one."

The jock grinned as the ball was placed in front of him, and he kicked it as hard as he could. So hard, in fact, that the striker ball soared over the electric wall, and nearly hit the people in the audience, namely the ex-campers. Lindsay and Owen had to leap out of the way to avoid being struck by it.

"Penalty kick for the _other_ team now," Chef shouted, rolling his eyes.

"Oh for the love of Pete," Gwen shouted, on her feet at the bullpen. "Tyler, can't you just kick it normally?"

"I don't do anything halfhearted," Tyler replied, though he looked ashamed.

"You almost brained your girlfriend with a flying, metal ball, I'd say you need to contain yourself a little," the goth replied, then muttered to herself, "though there is not much to brain in Lindsay."

Courtney kicked the penalty kick, sending the ball close to the red goal. She charged at it, but was rammed to the side by Noah.

"Mine now, Ms. CIT," he replied as he headed in the opposite direction. He was pushed to the side a few feet later by Beth. Izzy rammed Beth out of the way before the farm girl could react, and then Izzy was knocked into the electric wall by Harold, head first.

"Ohhh wo-oooooooooow," she screamed in enjoyment, then fell down giggling. She threw herself at the wall again, as a great deal of the audience watched her in horror.

"Like watch a car crash," Leshawna muttered. "Well, one that's crashin' over and over again."

"And yet," Justin said, "you still cannot look away."

"Hard to see your ex beat herself up like that, huh Mr. Model?" Duncan asked, elbowing Justin.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys that we never dated? I have no idea why she said that!"

Izzy managed to repress her desire to throw herself on the wall a third time, mostly because she was so jolted that she could barely think straight. "Wha... what's going on?" she muttered in-between giggles.

Harold had the ball at the moment, but Cody stole as he quickly dashed by the taller nerd. However, Tyler was rearing up for a mighty tackle just then, and rammed Cody with all his force. The tech-geek was sent sprawling, bouncing against the field, then collapsed in a heap.

"Whoops," Tyler muttered, staring in horror at his fallen teammate. "Sorry, Cody!"

Izzy, dazed and crazed, merely saw tackling going on, and pushed Tyler out of the way. She saw the nearby goal, and reared her foot up.

"For...," she hissed, her trademark grin spreading across her face, "THE GREAT POWERS ABOVE, AND FOR PIZZA!"

She kicked the ball as hard as she could, right at the goalie even. It hit the goalie right in the chest, sending the poor being into the net. Said net ripped off of the hooks, and tangled up the unfortunate camper.

"Yes," Izzy shouted, pumping her fists into the air. "I scored! We win!"

"Except for one thing," Tyler said, glaring at her as he stood up. "That was _our_ goal!"

Izzy blinked, then looked over at the goal. Ezekiel was lying in a crumpled mess underneath the net, the striker ball next to him. He moaned up to the sky and whimpered, "Why me, eh?"

"Oh," Izzy managed to say, then added, "Whoops."

"THE GREEN TEAM WINS," Chris shouted, and the crowd erupted in a standing ovation. "Though it wasn't exactly the type of win a team aims for, a win is a win, and the Green Team wins!"

The six members of the Green Team, even Heather, were on the field appealing to the audience with waves, blowing kisses, and cheering back. Geoff, Duncan, and Leshawna were cheering loudest of everyone.

"We did it, we actually managed to do it," Courtney exclaimed. She suddenly grabbed Harold and hugged him. "You somehow always manage to come through, you know that?"

"I try," he replied, grinning.

Eva and Beth hugged in their merriment, and Bridgette blew a kiss to Geoff. Heather pumped her fists in the air, then fell over backwards and stared at the very interesting grass.

The Red Team was definitely not as happy. "Well, way to go, you two," Noah snapped, looking at Tyler and Izzy. "You both really blew it today, you know that? Is there a sports almanac for the worst plays ever?"

"Hey now," Tyler started, "that's going too far-"

"Actually, I think there is," Izzy replied, smiling despite it all. "My cousin Louis is in it, because during a bowling tournament, he managed to break his bowling ball! On the pins! In the alley next to him!"

Noah's eye twitched. "Save it, Izzy."

"You know, speaking of broken, I'd better make sure Zeke is okay," she said, walking over to the collapsed mess known as Ezekiel. "Hey, Zeke? Are you okay?"

The prairie boy managed to open his eyes, despite the pain. When he saw Izzy looking over him, he screamed.

"GET AWAY FROM ME," he yelled, somehow managing to get to his feet and running. The net stayed draped over his body, and it snagged Izzy's foot. He dragged Izzy along as he ran in a panic away from her.

"I just wanna apologize, darn it," she shouted.

"Wow," Noah commented as he watched this. "What a drag."

Gwen sighed and smacked her forehead. "Noah, don't make me vote for you over puns like that."

"And that," Chris shouted to the crowd, "is the end of Super Wawanakwa Strikers Charged! Glad to have you all here! Tune in to your local TV station to find out who gets voted off tonight!"

The crowd didn't like the idea of waiting. Booing and jeering overtook the stadium, and chants "Vote now," began.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Vote now, or forever hold your peace.)**

Harold - "Gosh. It was like something out of Episode I, with the Senate yelling out, 'Vote now' because of a vote of No Confidence in the Supreme Chancellor. And you know..." \he grins wickedly\ "I'd love to give that vote to Chris Maclean. Bet he's a Sith Lord in disguise too, wouldn't surprise me one bit."

* * *

"Okay okay, people," Chris Maclean shouted in his megaphone. "You all want it so bad, we'll be holding the marshmallow ceremony here! TONIGHT!"

The crowd erupted in cheers again, while the losing team looked horrified. No, scratch that, they looked more than horrified, that was an understatement. New words of horror had to be created to describe their looks.

"You want us to vote for a camper?" Cody shouted, scarified. "NOW?"

"In front of all these people?!" Tyler yelled, horrithunderstrucked.

"In front of eleven thousand, nine hundred and forty-two people?" Noah pointed out, petrifiworried.

"You can't ask us to do that, eh," Ezekiel exclaimed, fridaunted. "Do you knoo' how humiliating that would be for the loser?"

"Indeed," Chris replied, wiggling his eyebrows. "The sun is waning, the bonfire will be set up! It's time to vote off the next unfortunate soul, off of Total Drama Comeback!"

The crowd cheered, as the six members of the Red Team nervously.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - \Answer unclear, ask again later.\)**

Heather - \holding an ice pack to her head\ "Oh... wow, that really stings. Well, I wish there was some way to have Gwen voted off like this. It's what she so richly deserves. But hey, if it's the prairie twerp who did this to my head, or that psycho hose-beast, I'm okay."

Gwen - "Man, this kind of humiliation... I'd only wish it on Heather. Or Chris Maclean. Makes me feel rotten... but I just to put that away, and vote for whom I'd vote for regardless."

Ezekiel - \clasps his hands in front of him\ "Izzy Izzy Izzy, please o' please o' please... I'll never ask for anything else again, ever!"

Cody - "I'd like to think this game doesn't count as far as who I'd vote for, so I'll take into consideration other things. Like who's a good person, who'd make a good ally, who's hot..." \His eyes go wide again.\ "Gah! Well... c'mon, everyone knows I think Gwen is hot. That's no secret."

Noah - "Yeah, regardless that Izzy scored the opposing team's final point, I still gotta go for Tyler. I think half the time I was tackled or hit by the ball, it was by him. And I'd hate to have been sent home in a casket, death by friendly fire."

Tyler - "Man... if I get voted off here, in front of all these sports fans... I'm quitting sports. Nothing could remove that kind of mental scar."

Izzy - "If I get voted off, I'm holding Chris Maclean responsible! And I'll bring about a vengeful revenge so hideous, so twisted, so sick that for years afterwards I'll be muttering to myself, 'I cannot believe I did that'! Grrrr!"

* * *

A large bonfire had been created in the middle of the striker field. Tyler was almost in tears at the sight of it.

"A roaring fire on a sports field," he said, choked up in sorrow. "That's so wrong... I cannot believe he desecrated the sport field like that."

"My cousin Louis set the alleyway that he broke his bowling ball in on fire," Izzy said, smiling at Tyler. "But, actually, he set them all on fire because he couldn't remember which one he had been on... or the one he accidentally bowled on. Boy, did he get a large fine for that."

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," Chris shouted, holding his megaphone to his mouth with one hand, and holding the plate of marshmallows in the other. "We've got six campers in front of us at this bonfire ceremony, and only five marshmallows! You know what that means!"

There were so many different replies from the audience that it was just one jumble of yelling words. With a chuckle, the handsome host continued. "Exactly! We'll see who's going to be voted off here, then later tonight walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and isn't coming back..."

"**FOREVER!**"

The audience managed to yell all this at once, and it shook the six members of the Red Team right down to their shoes. All six, even calm Gwen and wacky Izzy, looked quite unnerved at this.

Up in the VIP seats with the ex-campers were the Green Team members. Bridgette and Geoff stopped kissing after the crowd boomed forever. Harold, sitting next to Leshawna, also stopped paying direct attention to her at the sudden yelling; Duncan and Courtney, however, were making out so fervently that DJ had to pull them apart to get them to watch the marshmallow ceremony.

"Who'sth it going to be?" Beth asked Eva, who shrugged.

"Hopefully prairie boy," Heather grumbled, still holding an ice pack to her head. "He should be humiliated in front of all these people for what he did."

"It's not his fault you have such a thin skull," Eva replied, grinning wickedly at the queen bee.

"And very little up there to damage, which is probably why it wath tho easthy to josthtle around," Beth added. She and Eva exchanged a high-five as Heather seethed at them.

"We have merely six campers," Chris continued to torment his victims as he set the plate down on the oil drum (which also had been delivered on the field, upsetting Tyler almost as much as the fire). "So who will be safe tonight? Tyler, Gwen, Cody, Izzy, Zeke, or Noah?"

The six exchanged glances with each other, not sure how this was going to end, except it would end badly.

"The first marshmallow goes to...," Chris paused, scanned the campers, then his eyes rested on the goth girl.

"Gwen."

The crowd burst into cheering as Gwen caught her marshmallow, and she couldn't help but blush a little. Trent and Leshawna were cheering loudest of all.

"The second marshmallow goes to...," Chris started, and the crowd immediately fell silent. The terrible suspense lasted four seconds, but it felt like hours.

"... Cody!"

The majority of the cheering was high-pitched squeals of delight. As the tech-geek stood up to wave to the audience, he was hit in the face by something soft and white; however, it wasn't a marshmallow. The brunette took it off his face and realized someone had thrown him a bra. Red-faced, he sat back down and tried to hide it; Gwen's sly grin at him didn't help his shame.

"Next one goes to... Zeke!"

The prairie boy pumped his fists into the air, then high-fived Tyler. Claiming his marshmallow, he noticed Heather in the audience, looking rather disappointed. He tried to brush this aside as he went to sit back down next to Tyler.

"Three campers left," Chris declared, looking at Noah, Izzy, and Tyler. "And the next one goes to...

"Noah!"

The egghead nodded to this, then waved at the audience as they cheered. When he saw Katie shrieking in joy in the audience, he blew her a kiss. The thin BFFF swooned and fell back in her seat.

"Now, it's come to two," Chris announced, looking sadistically at the last two.

Tyler was visibly shaking and breathing hard; his arms were crossed tightly, enough to cause pain. Izzy was glaring at Chris something fierce, her fists clenched, her breath coming out in tight hisses.

"The final marshmallow of the night..."

Ezekiel was biting his knuckles, pleading hard for Tyler. Lindsay and Owen, in the audience, were both at the edge of their seats, wide-eyed and shaking. Tyler and Izzy exchanged a quick glance.

"... the final victor in front of eleven thousand, nine hundred and forty-two people... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Izzy."

The redhead gasped, then let out a loud scream of joy as the audience burst into wild cheering too. Grabbing her marshmallow right from Chris's hand, she held it up in joy and laughed.

"I stay, yet again," she cheered.

Tyler collapsed in his seat, his face covered by his hands. His shuddering sobs were evident by his shaking shoulders, and it broke Lindsay and Ezekiel's heart to see him like that.

"Tyler dude," Chris continued, after shaking off the pain from his hand that Izzy had caused, "this is your final game. Too bad, the jock walks off the field."

The brunette athlete barely managed a nod, unable to even look up.

That was enough for Ezekiel. He snatched the megaphone from Chris, hurting the host's other hand in the process. "Hey now," he shouted into it, almost killing the handsome host's ears, "doo'nt be like that, people. Let's hear it for Tyler, who keeps on trying no matter how difficult the odds are, eh!"

"Ow, Zeke, man...," the host complained, but the rest of his sentence was drowned out by the applause and cheering of the audience. Tyler managed to look up after wiping the tears from his eyes, and he got misty-eyed again.

The jock pumped his fists into the air and shouted, "Thank you, fellow sports fans," he yelled, then he seized Ezekiel and hugged him tight. "And thank you, Zeke!"

"Urk," replied his friend. "Can't... breathe... too... affectionate... of a hug!"

* * *

**(Later that day.)**

After the game, late in the evening, Tyler was walking the Dock of Shame with his sports bag slung over his shoulder. He managed to keep a smile as he high-fived Eva, Noah, Bridgette, and Cody.

"Congrats, dudette," he said softly to Izzy, giving her a playful tap on the shoulder. He approached Ezekiel, who was tearing up.

"I owe you so much, eh," the prairie boy sobbed. "I promised myself I woo'dent cry, eh... but... but..."

Tyler seized him for another hug, and Ezekiel was almost suffocated. When the jock let go, the prairie boy took a deep breath and shook himself off.

"Dude, you've got to lighten up on the hugs, eh."

"He never does anything halfhearted," Gwen commented, smiling at Tyler.

The athlete shrugged, then his face lit up as he remembered something. "Oh Zeke man, here," he said as he fished into his pocket, and pulled out his iPod. "I want you to have this for as long as you're on the show."

"Aww, Tyler, you sure?"

"Of course! I'm not gonna get much thrill out of music... or probably anything anymore."

"Doo'nt say that now-"

"But it's probably true. I got voted off the show for failing a sports game! I cannot see," Tyler said with a heavy sigh, "how I can see anything good come of this day."

The Boat of Losers slowly docked, a miserable sight as usual; however, there was someone on the boat that made everything different to Tyler.

"Tyyyyy-ler," squealed Lindsay, smiling at him with sparkling eyes, "I missed yew so-oooooo much! Come here, you big slab of man, you!"

The athlete barely had time to say to Ezekiel, "Forget everything I just said," tossed his iPod to his friend, then bolted to the Boat of Losers. Tossing his bag to the deck of the boat, he took Lindsay in his arms and the two kissed passionately.

"In history, there have been known to be five most passionate kisses," Harold said as the Boat of Losers left the dock, "one has been known to top all of them. That one there topped the top."

Some of the campers laughed as they left the Dock of Shame, exchanging conversation about the game or other topics. Ezekiel looked at Tyler's iPod and sighed heavily, before Bridgette slung an arm around his shoulders and walked alongside him for support.

"Maybe next time," Gwen muttered to herself, casting a side glare at Courtney. The CIT missed this, because she was too busy talking to Noah.

Only Cody noticed there was someone still standing on the Dock of Shame after everyone had left. Izzy was looking at the horizon where the Boat of Losers disappeared from.

"Heyas, Izzy?" Cody called out to her. When she didn't reply, he walked over to her and tapped her shoulder. "You okay, Izzy?"

"No," she admitted, wiping her eyes with her fists. "Not really, no."

"What's the matter, huh?" Cody asked, shocked. "I've... never seen you upset like this before."

"Oh... it's nothing, really," she said, but another tear formed in her eye, and she couldn't remove it from her face fast enough for Cody not to see.

"C'mon, tell me," the tech-geek said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"It's just... Izzy has been able to survive three marshmallow ceremonies, but no one seems happy about it," she admitted, letting out a deep sigh. "Geoff, DJ, Tyler... everyone looks like they'd prefer Izzy to go and not them.

"Zeke is terrified of me, too," she added, looking over at Cody. "I... I just wish people weren't so upset that I stay. I try so hard at everything, and I know I haven't caught that damn jellybean smuggler yet, but I..."

She stopped when Cody placed his hands on both her shoulders, smiling at her. "Izzy, you're one of the toughest, wildest girls I know. I love having you on my team, and though some of the others won't say it, they like having you too.

"It's just the grief of losing their friends in this contest that makes everyone so upset. Don't worry, they aren't upset you endured another challenge, they wouldn't want you to leave like any of the others."

Izzy managed to smile, then nodded. "Thank you, Cody. How is it that you always know what to say whenever Izzy is down?"

"Oh...," Cody began with a smug smile, then he suddenly lost it as he looked up in the sky in thought. "That's strange," he said as he rubbed his chin, "I really don't know. I'm mostly good at pickup lines."

Izzy began to giggle and snort. "Oh Cody, you nut! We gotta get you a girlfriend!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Final words from the dunderheads.)**

Courtney - "This was rather fortunate, because Tyler had it in for me. I wasn't about to allow that jock to get under my skin."

Gwen - "Tyler was the one who crashed the karts and blew the first two matches of the strikers game. Still... he wasn't a bad person."

Ezekiel - \covering his face with his hands, blubbering\ "I soo' wasn't prepared for this, eh, boohoohoo!"

Cody - "I'm gonna miss him. Tyler was a swell guy, always up for a game of ultimate frisbee."

Izzy - "I won't let this gift of surviving another challenge pass me by! Mr. or Ms. Jellybean Smuggler, when I find you, you're doomed, do you hear me? DOOMED!!!"

Harold - "I can walk! Mom, dad, bro, sis, I can walk! AWESOME!! Who's the man, huh? Who survived two near-crippling allergies? Me, that's who! Woohoo!"

* * *

**Izzy** - Tyler.

**Gwen** - Tyler.

**Noah** - Tyler.

**Ezekiel** - Izzy.

**Tyler** - Izzy.

**Cody** - Noah.

--

Tyler - 3.

Izzy - 2.

Noah - 1.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler.

* * *

--

--

--

I'm gonna miss Tyler. How he never quits (unless it means hanging out with Lindsay, and no one can blame him for that), how he's always got gusto in whatever he does, and his snazzy red sports clothing. But alas, this is how it is meant to be on TDC, and our favorite (male) jock is reunited with his girl.

An emotional end, I admit, and Izzy may be OOC, but hey, she has feelings too. Next chapter to come up shortly, the last one before the Final Ten! Bet you're all excited to see who makes it, eh? Who knows, maybe someone you don't expect will be booted on Day 12! Stay tuned, and keep the reviews long!


	35. Day 12, Part 1: I Dare You To Dare Me

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Any spelling or grammar errors in this story are not endorsed, encouraged, or enforced by this fanfiction.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - I miss Tyler too. Oh, and you Ezekiel x Bridgette fans will be pleased to hear I finally thought of a short story for them! The reason I hesitated was because I wanted something original, and I didn't want one of the stereotypical ways to "get rid" of Geoff (ex.: being a jerk, dying, becoming a vampire). Hopefully, it will be out before Christmas Day.

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback...

An awesome strikers game took place, with a metal ball, craniums, and electric walls! Much pain and madness ensued as the Red Team and Green Team battered each other around like rag dolls!

As the voted off campers and a great deal of people watched the sports games, many exciting events happened! Heather took a ball to the head by Ezekiel, leaving her as loopy as a jay bird! Harold managed to regain all feeling in his legs, and walked the field to help his team win! Tyler and Izzy both messed up big time, accidentally causing the victory to go to their opponents' team!

After an intense marshmallow ceremony, Tyler was voted off. While depressed and upset, he managed to get his spirit back when the crowd give him a rousing cheer, and he was reunited with his super hot girlfriend, Lindsay. Lucky sod.

But now the competition is at it's white-hottest, because after this, it's going to be a massive free-for-all! After this, the Final Ten will be a wild, rocking party! The ratings will rise, the turn will tide, and we'll soon be cheering for our favorite of the Top Three, on which two contestants will win ten thousand dollars!

Who is going to be voted off of the eleven remaining campers:

Insane Izzy...

CIT Courtney...

Hellish Heather...

Enraged Eva...

Cool Cody...

Energetic Ezekiel...

Benevolent Beth...

Nimble-Witted Noah...

Hilarious Harold...

Graceful Gwen...

or Bodacious Bridgette?

Here's a hint: it might not be who you want it to be! Ehehehe...

So sit back, get some food ready, and be prepared for one of the best series of challenges yet... on Total... Drama ... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 35 (Day 12, Part 1)** - You Did WHAT For Ten Thousand Bucks?!

* * *

Gwen and Bridgette sat together on the grass, back against back. Both had their eyes closed, sitting cross-legged with the backs of their hands on their knees.

"Are you sure this is supposed to help with stress?" Gwen asked.

"Gwen, shhhh. You don't talk during meditation."

Silence followed, then the goth started to wrinkle her nose.

"What do I do if I have an itch?"

"Try to ignore it."

"But it's on my nose... gah!"

The goth scratched and rubbed her nose after a few seconds of trying to resist it. The blond surfer sighed and turned around to her friend. "You're not trying hard enough, Gwen."

"Well, maybe I'm not cut out for this kind of stuff," she replied, still rubbing her nose. "I don't think meditation can help me with my nerves."

"It is worth a shot. Your nerves have been rather frayed these days."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Remember breakfast?"

* * *

**(Breakfast, as remembered.)**

_Gwen looked at the glop Chef Hatchet had served her. "I may be mistaken," she said, "but the meat in hamburgers is not supposed to be half-liquid."_

_"It's called a Sloppy Joe for a reason, Grim Girl," Chef barked at her, then he yelled so hard it blew her hair back, "GOT THAT?!"_

_"No, sir!"_

_"Honestly Gwen, quit complaining," Courtney, the next in line, replied. "And why do you insist on ragging to Chef? Is your memory that bad that you cannot remember he doesn't like criticism?"_

_With a twitching eye, Gwen took her hamburger bun with the runny meat on it and smeared it in Courtney's face. As most of the campers and Courtney gasped, the brunette CIT grabbed the bowl that Chef had been scooping the hamburger from and pitched it at Gwen. The goth girl ducked and it splashed all over Izzy._

_"Oh no you didn't," the redhead snarled, and chucked her hamburger at Courtney. Before long, a massive food fight broke out; Noah and Beth crawled out the back as the carnage raged._

* * *

"She was asking for a little meat on her bones," Gwen remarked, smirking wickedly at the memory.

"You cannot be feuding with Courtney and Heather at the same time," her friend continued, turning to face her. "It'll give you a lot of stress, not to mention you..."

She strayed off the sentence, looking away again. "What?" Gwen asked. "What might I do?"

"Nothing. Never mi-"

"I might do something I'll regret. Was that it?"

Bridgette sighed, then nodded. "Yes, it was. It's what happened to Courtney, I don't want it to happen to you."

Gwen shrugged, then leaned back against Bridgette. "You're too nervous, you know that, Bridge? Though I loathe to say this, it's serious competition now. Trust me, though, I know the difference between letting off steam, and nearly crippling someone."

Bridgette sighed again, lost in thought. They stayed like that for some time, listening to each other breathe.

It was rudely interrupted when Chris came by in his rather loud kart. "Hey ladies," he shouted as he stopped next to them, "it's time for the final challenge before the Final Ten! C'mon!"

The two sighed and grudgingly stood up. "Where is it, anyway?" Bridgette asked.

"At the talent show stage, so hurry on up; everyone else is there."

"Can you give us a lift, then?"

"Nope!"

And his trademark, evil grin, Chris sped off, leaving them in a cloud of smog and dust. After coughing and hacking, the two girls glared at the departing kart.

"I really hate that man," Gwen said.

* * *

When the two made it to the talent stage, they were surprised by how it had changed. The curtains and the backdrop were a pure white, and on both sides there was a long, game show table. Seated at the left table was Ezekiel (who waved at the two girls), Eva, Courtney, and Harold. On the right side were Noah (reading), Izzy, Cody (who grinned at the girls), Beth, and Heather.

Gwen approached Chris, who was standing in the center of the stage. "So which side do we sit on?"

"Can't you tell?" the host asked. "You're going to be sitting with your former teammates! It's a old-fashioned Screaming Gophers verses Killer Bass!"

Some of the campers let out cheers and battle cries with Chris. Gwen and Bridgette shrugged, exchanged a farewell wave, then went to sit with their teammates.

"We hope you've been enjoying being on teams, but after this challenge, most of the following challenges will be on your own," the handsome host informed them. "How does that make you feel? Does that bug you? Does it bug you, I'm not even touching you!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - A quick recap of feelings, nothing more than feelings.)**

Ezekiel - "I really have enjoyed myself, despite times where I was in pain and/or possibly going to be killed, eh. I mean, I've made some great friends, I got this far in the show, I got to kiss a couple girls, and... well, I guess there's the satisfaction that I proved to the world that I changed, eh."

Noah - "So it's almost the Final Ten, huh? I knew I could make it this far, I have the intellect. Still, it would have been nicer if Katie was here, and some more people who weren't uptight, angry, mean-spirited... never mind. You get the gist."

Beth - "It'sth THO good to be thith far! I really think I have a shot at thith! All I have to do ith keep giving it my all, and I'll be winning it all!" \She giggles and snorts.\

Heather - "It's rather annoying how much this season hasn't gone to plan like last time. It's all Ezekiel's fault, really. That twerp can't hold on much longer, how many skills could a home schooled kid have?" \She looks to the side and trails off.\ "Though... he has proved more talented than I thought... I MEAN NO! No no no no no no no-"

Courtney - "I've really had enough drama here, and I want all that put behind me. I mean, Harold's forgiven me, why can't Gwen let it go? The girl's like Eva, minus the muscles. ... But besides her, I want to carry on this game as far as I can. Duncan, if you're watching this, I want to let you know that I'm carrying on for you too! You can get half of my winnings, if you promise not to be an ogre!"

Izzy - "Izzy's gonna be queen! Yeah, Queen Izzy, that sounds good! Hail to the Queen, honey!"

* * *

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," Chris shouted, "to the best challenge you've ever seen! In a combination of Triple Dog Dare, and many challenges that wouldn't be long enough for a real episode-length of fun, we got this incredible challenge of..."

A neon sign dropped down in front of the backdrop, a chilling '13' that had a dripping blood animation. "The Screams of the Thirteen!!"

Owen, dressed in a black suit, and Chef, dressed in a pink dress, posed on the sides, gesturing up at the sign. They let out fake, terrified screams, waving their fingers at the camera.

Many campers' eyes rolled. Chris stepped to the backdrop, and pulled a large spinner. On the spinner were the faces of Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Chef, and Joel.

"From the devious minds of our booted campers, our beloved cook, and our special guest star," the host shouted, waving his hand at the giant spinner, "we have contrived some of the greatest stunts, dares, gross-out ideas, and challenges!"

"How is this any different than Triple Dog Dare?" Heather shouted, slamming her fists on the table.

"Bad memories, huh?" Gwen asked, grinning sadistically at Heather. The queen bee glared at the goth girl, but it didn't faze Gwen.

"Because these aren't dares you have to take to stay in the game," Chris explained. "This time around, there are two teams! One will be chosen from both teams, the challenge will then be selected, and whoever outperforms the other wins a point for their team!

"The first team to get best out of twenty-five, aka thirteen points, wins the match! The losing team sends someone home, though who... may be an unexpected twist!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - An expected twist?)**

Harold - "Yes! I can so get behind this kind of challenge! Now that I'm walking, yes indeed, and I'm taking this game today!"

Gwen - \glaring angrily\ "Okay, I didn't want to complain with Heather nearby, but this is way too much like Triple Dog Dare. And some of the things the people here thought of... kissing a dead fish, drinking from the toilet, watching Owen eat dog food... oh no, Owen got to add his own challenges?!" \She screams in frustration.\

Cody - "I wonder what he meant by that 'unexpected twist'..."

Bridgette - "Aw great. I'm the one with a strong gag reflex."

Eva - "Hehehe. These weaklings don't stand a chance."

* * *

"Now because we can have twenty-five challenges total," Chris continued to explain the rules, "we won't have any camper ever face someone a second time! So using the control panel on your team's table, you'll select the person who'll be facing the opponent from the other team.

"The Killer Bass team has five members, so each member will, at most, be facing five different opponents. Are you people ready?"

Owen and Chef threw their hands up in the air and cheered like an overly excited audience. Some of the campers cheered along with them, some did not; in fact, those that didn't looked like they'd rather cheer for the apocalypse.

"Then here...," Chris shouted, grabbing the arrow of the giant spinner "we...," he spun it, "GOOOOOOO!"

The arrow twirled around, and everyone watched with baited breath.

"Please not Owen, please not Owen," Heather chanted.

"Duncan can think of really nasty dares," Bridgette whimpered.

"Chef Hatchet means death," Ezekiel muttered.

Fortunately for all of them, it landed on Sadie. Letting out sighs of relief, the campers set to picking their choices.

It ended up being Harold and Gwen. The two exchanged determined glances before Chris read aloud from a note card.

"Spinning Cups," he announced.

A couple trapdoors opened on the stage, dropping Gwen and Harold down. Up rose two giant cups, containing the two campers.

"Sadie said the first one to stand up or if their opponent pukes, you win," Chris shouted, pushing a button on his podium.

"This cannot be goo-oooooo-waaaaaaaaaa," Gwen started before the cup she was in began to spin at an incredible speed. Soon, her cup and and Harold's were spinning at an alarming rate, the two campers only blurs. Their teammates watched in horror, some feeling sorry for the two and all glad it wasn't them.

When the spinning stopped, the cups tipped over, spilling the two campers out. Gwen kept trying to stand up, but fell over every attempt. Harold lay there, moaning and rolling his head around.

"C'mon, one of you stand," Chris said, tapping his foot. "First to stand is considered the win-"

Harold, who had only managed to make it to his hands and knees, threw up. He shook violently on all fours as Chris tsk'tsked. "Shame, Harold. Guess Gwen wins."

Immediately after he said this, Gwen puked. The goth girl was on her knees, heaving and panting.

"This is quite nice to watch now," Heather said, a mean grin spreading across her face. "I'm sure Trent and Leshawna are going to be so happy to see you two when you're reunited."

Gwen glared at her through heavy eyes, but Harold was too weak to glare.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Shaken and stirred.)**

Gwen - "Thank you _so_ much, Sadie. Jeez, I couldn't stop that spinning effect for what felt like forever."

* * *

"Point One goes to the Screaming Gophers," Chris declared.

The six campers cheered, though Gwen was lying her face on the table as Cody rubbed her back.

"Let's spin that spinner again!"

It landed on DJ, and the two chosen campers were Bridgette and Beth. The farm girl forgot about the competition as she waved at the blond surfer.

"Good luck, Bridge."

"You too, Beth."

"Stop wishing her luck," Heather shouted, "and trample her, Beth!!"

"Fitting words, Heather, for the next challenge, courtesy of our gentle giant DJ, is Treadmills!"

The trapdoors opened again, and two long treadmills were raised onto the stage. Beth and Bridgette got on one individually, and looked over at Chris for instructions.

"First one to fall off loses! And watch out," the sadistic host said as he pushed a button on his podium, "for they speed up over time!"

The treadmills started up at a jogging pace, and Bridgette and Beth began to run on the moving treads. Beth's little legs were pumping soon, and Heather began laughing.

"Look at Beth go," she said, still grinning meanly, "she looks like a two year old still learning to walk."

"Shut up, Heather," Beth shouted, running faster as the treadmills picked up.

Soon, the treadmills were moving insanely fast, smoke coming from the rollers. Beth and Bridgette were running for their lives, sweating and panting.

Bridgette fouled up first, tripping over her feet. She landed on the tread and was launched off like a rocket, shooting back behind the back drop. Many crashing sounds could be heard from backstage.

"And Beth wins," Chris declared, pushing a button that slowed down the treadmills, allowing the exhausted Beth to fall down and gasp for air.

Ezekiel and Courtney had run backstage when their friend had been shot back there. They found her under a mess of stage equipment, bruised and tousled.

"Ouch," she muttered as they helped her to her feet.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Dread the treadmills.)**

Bridgette - "Well, that hurt. A lot. Bet Chris really enjoys this. I cannot understand how someone can enjoy seeing people hurt themselves a lot."

* * *

"It's two-nothing Screaming Gophers, and we got a lot more wild challenges," Chris announced, chuckling as he watched Bridgette collapse in her seat. "Let's see if the Killer Bass can make a comeback! Your next challenge comes from..."

After an arrow spin, he shouted, "Tyler! Let's see what the jock wants you to do!"

The two chosen campers were Eva and Cody. The tech-geek grinned at the fitness buff, wiggling his eyebrows; she snarled at him and looked away.

"Your challenge is... Tug O' War!"

Cody blanched. Eva grinned sinisterly.

"Here's the rope," Chris said as Chef handed an end of a long rope to each of them, "here's the boundary," he said as he spread black tape on the stage between them, "and... PULL!"

Eva, with one hand, yanked the rope. The tech-geek was sent flying off his feet, flying past the fitness buff, and crashed on top of the Killer Bass table. Cody, stunned by his sudden launch, shook his head, then realized his face was millimeters from Courtney's face; their lips were almost touching.

"EWWWWW," Courtney reacted, shoving herself away from the table so hard that her chair tipped over and she fell to the ground. "You tried to kiss me, you little twerp!"

"Um, I doo'nt think he meant for that to happen, eh," Ezekiel replied.

Cody, red-faced and wide-eyed, walked back to his team in shame. He had to walk by a smirking Eva, and sit in-between a laughing Gwen and cackling Izzy.

"That's," Chris tried to talk, but was laughing too hard to form a sentence, "the Killer... Bass's-hehehehe... first p-point!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Tug O' War is hell.)**

Eva - \chuckling to himself\ "It's so funny how that geek keeps getting humiliated. But it's going to be tragic when Duncan gets his hands on him. Tragically funny."

* * *

The next arrow spin landed on Trent's. Courtney, still fuming over Cody having come close to kissing her, and Izzy were chosen.

"Next is the Freezing Water Balloons by our favorite musician," Chris announced. Owen came up to Courtney and Izzy, handing them each a large water balloon. "You will stand back-to-back, take ten paces, then fling your water balloon!

"And you might not want to get hit, because that water is only a few degrees from freezing point!"

Courtney looked quite nervous, and Izzy looked excited. Facing back-to-back, they started to walk to Chef Hatchet's count.

"7... 8...," the large cook counted loudly, "9... 10, THROW 'EM!!"

Courtney spun around, cocked her arm, and was hit square in the face with Izzy's water balloon. Soaked in cold water, she cried out and dropped her water balloon on her feet. Now wet all over with freezing water down her front and her legs, she shiver-stomped back to her seat.

"And Izzy wins the third point for the Screaming Gophers," Chris announced, clapping as the redhead skipped back to her seat.

"I...," Courtney stammered, huddled up in her seat and shivering, "h-h-hate that g-girl."

"She's got a good arm," Eva commented, raising an eyebrow. Courtney tried to glare at her, but sneezed violently.

"The next challenge," Chris said as he spun the arrow, "is... Owen's!"

The large teenager let out a whooping cheer, pumping his fists into the air and laughing. Ezekiel and Noah were chosen, and both kept looking at Owen worriedly.

"It's time for... Slugs in Mouth!"

The two boys' eyes bulged and they exchanged glances. "Oh," Noah said, turning back to his team's table, "_hell_ no!"

He tried to get back to his seat, but Heather and Izzy shoved him back into place. "I'm not putting a slug in my mouth," he shouted. "I have allergies! To slimy things! And wriggling things! And things that French people eat!"

Ezekiel watched, smiling and shrugging. As Owen presented a plate covered with crawling slugs, the prairie boy plucked one off the plate.

"Don't swallow the little guy now," Owen instructed him.

"Doo'nt worry, I woo'nt," he replied, then placed the slug in his mouth. His face immediately contorted, and he spat the slug out on the stage floor.

"Oh, and Ezekiel has already lost," Chris declared, shaking his head.

Heather and Izzy, who were holding Noah down to the ground and were dangling a slug down his mouth, stopped inches before dropping it in. The egghead let out a relieved sigh and scurried back to his seat.

"It's four-one Screaming Gophers," the handsome host remarked, watching Ezekiel spit and hack. "Better get cracking, Killer Bass."

"Way to go, Zeke," Courtney said, glaring at the prairie boy. "You blew the challenge before it actually began."

"Oh, you're one to talk," he shot back, glaring at her from under his toque, "you were defeated by Izzy in the blink of an eye, eh."

"At least I tried!"

"Knock if off, you two," Harold said to them. Courtney and Ezekiel scoffed and looked away from each other.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Freezing slugs would taste worse, right?)**

Ezekiel - "She's got a lot of nerve, acting like I did the worst 'oot there, eh!" \He stops, then scratches the back of his head.\ "Well... I kind of did, didn't I? Whoops."

Courtney - "Look, it's really simple. Zeke blew it because he personally failed the challenge. I was defeated, so it was because of someone else I lost. That's how it works, those are the unspoken rules. And furthermore..."

\**She goes on like this for some time.**\

* * *

"Let's see who's sick challenge is next," Chris declared, spinning the arrow for the sixth time. "Okay, it's... Katie's!"

Courtney and Heather were chosen, and the two former allies stared at each other.

"The challenge is Who's the Phone For," their host said, pushing one of the many buttons on his podium.

One of the trapdoors opened up, and a phone on a pedestal raised up onto the stage. Immediately after it raised up, the phone began to ring; it was an old-fashioned phone, the kind of ringing that sends shivers down your spine.

Most of the campers sighed, waiting for someone to answer it. Heather and Courtney glanced at each other, then at the phone, then at Chris.

"The rules of this one," he said, speaking in-between the shrill rings of the phone, "are unclear, so you two... might have to answer the phone first... or not at all! Think you can guess which you're... not supposed to do?"

The two leading ladies exchanged another glance. "Could be important," Heather said to the CIT.

"Could be a trap," Courtney said to the queen bee.

The ringing continued for about five minutes, and some of the campers were starting to lose it. Izzy wailed as she pounded on the table, screaming in what sounded like terrible suffering.

"Answer it, answer it, I beg of you," she shrieked. "Don't you know that listening to a phone for an indefinite period of time can cause your eardrums to bleed out?"

"Stop it, stop it, leave us alone," Ezekiel whimpered, shivering in his seat. "I cannot stand it, answer the pho-oooooone!"

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die," Beth chanted, staring down at her feet. "I wanna die at thith point, I wanna die."

"Answer the phone, answer the phone, I beg of you," Harold yelled. "I don't care if it's the Grim Reaper calling to set an appointment, answer it! Idiots!!"

Courtney and Heather looked just as bad. The queen bee's hair was starting to stick out in stress, and the CIT was wringing her hands and sweating bullets. Both too nervous to answer it, the phone continued to ring for twenty more minutes.

After about a half-hour of this, Courtney couldn't take it anymore. She picked up the phone and put it to her ear. "He-"

She never got to "-llo," because Chef Hatchet, the one calling from another phone, blew an air horn into the speaking end. The CIT shrieked in pain and threw the receiver away, hitting Chris in the temple.

"Ow," they both screamed.

"You jerks, you could have caused permanent damage," Courtney shouted.

"You hit me in the head," Chris countered, rubbing the bruise that was forming.

"What?" the CIT asked, rubbing the ear she had put against the phone receiver.

Chef Hatchet returned to the stage and began to shove Courtney back to her seat. "You lose, freckle face, now sit down."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Can you not hear me now?)**

 Courtney - \still yelling, because she's half-deaf currently\ "Katie, you moron, how could you think of such a dangerous stunt? I could have lost my hearing completely! And also..."

\**She goes on again for quite a while.**\

* * *

"It's five-one Screaming Gophers, and looking really bad on the Killer Bass's part," Chris said, grimacing as Chef put a bandage on the bump that had grown where Courtney accidentally hit him with the phone.

"The next challenge is... Justin's! Teams, pick your teammate for who takes the handsome man's dare!"

"WHAT?" Courtney asked, cupping her good ear. Her teammates winced, then repeated what Chris said to her. Ezekiel was picked for the Killer Bass, Cody for the Screaming Gophers.

"Justin has created... the Coffee Chug!"

Two pedestals raised up from the trapdoors, an full urn of coffee and a coffee mug on both. Chris cackled as he waved a hand over one, swishing the hot, muggy steam over it.

"First one to finish this hot coffee urn wins," Chris told them. "Think you can do it?"

Cody poured himself a mug full, then sipped at it. "Oh wow, that's hot," he commented, clutching his mouth. "I think I can do it after a minute or so..."

He stopped when he saw Ezekiel pick up the urn by the handle, and started to pour it into his mouth directly. Cody's jaw dropped, as did several other jaws as Ezekiel chugged down the entire pot of coffee; even Chris and Chef looked greatly astonished, and Owen had an excited smile on his face.

After finishing the last drop, Ezekiel wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "What?" he asked when he saw the startled looks of the others, "How else do you think I stayed up all night studying at home, eh?"

"Um, Zeke wins," Chris said, recovering with his handsome grin. The Killer Bass all cheered, Bridgette and Harold high-fiving the home schooled boy.

"Gee, doesn't that have a bad effect on you?" Bridgette asked him.

"No, not really, eh," he said, his left eye twitching slightly.

"It's five-two now, and the next challenge comes from... Chef Hatchet!"

The campers all gasped as the cook cackled, eyeing them evilly. They all did rock-paper-scissors to see who'd go, and thus Harold and a very distraught Noah took to center stage.

"The challenge is... Brain Munch!"

The two pedestals lowered, then came back up with a tray on both, a human-sized brain on each.

"A generous college donated two brains for this challenge," Chris explained, "and the first one to eat a brain wins!"

"Oh no," Noah stammered, taking several steps back. "No no no... this is destroying what is most dear to me... no no no no... nooooo-aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

He took off running, screaming with his hands up in the air. The Screaming Gophers slapped their foreheads. Harold poked at the brain, and looked over at Chris. "These real brains, Chris?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter now, Noah's retreated and forfeited," Chris remarked, pointing at the fleeing egghead with Chef Hatchet chasing after him.

"He runs like a girl," Eva remarked, smirking.

Ezekiel looked over at her, clearly upset if it wasn't for his twitching eye.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - This is your brain on coffee.)**

Ezekiel - "Eva was furious at me the first day of Total Drama Island for what I said a'boot girls, then she goes and makes a crack at how girls run? Stupid doo'bul standards."

Courtney - \**She's still going on.**\ "... and I'm quite glad Ezekiel beat that scrawny geek, because he tried to kiss me, which I'd never do because..." \**And on and on...**\

* * *

"This sure is a fun contest, isn't it?" Chris remarked, grinning at the Screaming Gophers. Noah was being dragged back to his seat, on his back, by Chef Hatchet; neither looked very happy about this.

"It's five-three Screaming Gophers, now let's have some more revolting fun," the host said as he spun the arrow. "It's time for a challenge from... Geoff!"

"Woohoo, my handsome honey," Bridgette cheered. "Let's see what he's got!"

As it turned out, she was picked by her team, and Gwen was picked for the Screaming Gophers. The two friends exchanged a smile before the goth girl said, "I hope your boyfriend wasn't feeling sadistic, Bridge."

"I sure hope so too."

"Oh-ho, you two ladies are in for a real treat," Chris said, holding back some evil laughter. "This one is called Owen's Outhouse!"

Bridgette and Gwen paled (well, Bridgette did, Gwen just turned a little whiter). When an outhouse was wheeled onto the stage, both lost all remaining color in their face.

"You ready, Owen?" Chris asked his large intern.

"You bet, Chris! I've been holding this in all day," the giant teen shouted, rushing for the outhouse. "Man, that Mexican food I had for breakfast has been acting up all day!"

He slammed the door behind him, and many revolting sounds ensued. Hearing those, Owen's groaning, and loud farts, Gwen and Bridgette grabbed hold of each other in fear. Cody, who had also paled, fainted dead away. Beth crossed herself, and Harold started to gag.

"Now after Owen is done, you two will be going in there. Whoever leaves first loses."

"WE'RE NOT GOING," the two girls screamed.

"Oh, yes you are," Chef Hatchet growled. He picked Gwen and Bridgette up from behind by their shirt collars, keeping them suspended in air as they kicked and fought.

Owen finally stepped out, letting out an enormous sigh of relief. "That was a large load off," he said, then tapped his chin. "Or is it, load out? I don't know bathroom lingo that well, to be honest, sorry."

Bridgette and Gwen, thrashing and screaming, were pushed into the stinking outhouse by Chef Hatchet. The conscious campers watched in silent horror, and after a few seconds, they strained to hear any sounds of life.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you, Chris?" Harold snapped.

"Um, no, actually," the host replied, looking sick to his stomach. "This time, I think this is too terrible."

"I'm enjoying it," Heather said, grinning as she watched the outhouse, "because it's right where Gwen deserves to be."

Courtney nodded feebly. Ezekiel noticed and glared at her, and the CIT quickly added, "But I feel really bad for Bridgette!"

As if on cue, Bridgette burst out of the outhouse, gasping for air. Running away from the near-toxic smell, she didn't even make it off the stage before she fell on her hands and knees, vomiting hard.

Gwen, green in her normally white face, almost fell out of the outhouse, made it a few steps, then passed out. Heather grinned as Beth and a recently Cody ran over to help her.

Bridgette continued to puke, as Chris watched with a queasy look. "Um, Chef bra? Go get a mop."

"Okay."

"... A really big mop, she's heaving a lot."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We sincerely hope you weren't eating.)**

Gwen - \furious\ "I blame Courtney for this. She had Geoff voted off third, he must have really wanted revenge."

Bridgette - \still looking sickly\ "... I... I really hate this show. I'm either puking or stinking or screaming... oh, no... BLEARGH!" \She pukes on the floor of the confession outhouse, then wipes her mouth.\ "... Great, I just did all three at once."

* * *

"Well... ugg," Chris said, waving a paper fan in front of his face, "man, Bridgette, what did you eat for breakfast, you've got some really foul puke."

Bridgette lay slumped in her seat against the Killer Bass table, Ezekiel rubbing her back. The surfer moaned every now and then, to signify she was still alive.

"What did _she_ eat?" Gwen spat out, hammering her fists on the table. "What did _Owen_ eat?!"

"Mexican," Owen informed her.

"Was it with stink bombs and skunk juice?!"

"Alright, stop your complaining," Chris said, continuing to wave the fan in front of him. "We've got more challenges to do, and the score is now six-three Screaming Gophers." He spun the roulette arrow as hard as he could, and it landed on Leshawna.

"Ooo, it's my honey now," Harold declared, pumping his fists into the air.

"Better not do it, then," Eva remarked. "Look what Bridgette's honey did to her."

Sure enough, Eva took the challenge instead of Harold, and Beth was picked for the Screaming Gophers. She waved at the fitness buff, who gave a small wave back.

"This challenge from our street sister is the Soda Machine Shake," Chris informed them. As he spoke, the trapdoors opened as two large soda machines raised up on the stage. "There's a soda, paid for in full, stuck in the machine. First one to shake it loose wins!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We interrupt for ruptin' sake.)**

Chef Hatchet - "I have been asked to read this message by Leshawna." \He gets out a note card and reads it, stilted.\ " 'Please do not, under any circumstances, shake a soda or candy machine. It will fall on you and crush you, and you will die a stupid fool. Please do not die as stupid fools'."

* * *

Beth started kicking the soda machine, then tackled. "Sthtupid sthoda machine, gimme my sthoda," she shouted.

Eva watched her, then tapped her soda machine. Courtney watched this, and got impatient. "Eva, what are you waiting for?" she shouted.

"I thought I'd give her a head start."

"We're losing this contest, damn it! Pick up that soda machine and shake every soda loose if need be!"

The fitness buff took a deep breath. She hated being told what to do more than anything, but Courtney spoke the truth here. The fitness buff lifted the soda machine up, tilted it forty-five degrees, and shook it vigorously. A soda clanked in the bottom slot, and she set it down.

"Eva wins for the Killer Bass," Chris announced.

"Sorry about that, short stuff," Eva said as she plucked the soda out of the slot. She opened it, and it sprayed all over her face.

Beth clapped her hands over her mouth and doubled over, very muffled laughter barely escaping.

"Don't laugh," Eva warned her. The farm girl nodded, and held her mouth closed tighter. She started to turn slightly blue and was making terrible wheezing sounds. "On second thought, laugh; before you kill yourself."

As soon as Beth released her mouth, she fell over laughing and snorting. Courtney sighed and crossed her arms. "And yet again, I remind you all why you need someone with CIT experience during these challenges."

Ezekiel shrugged, Harold tapped his fingers together, and Bridgette moaned during her recovery.

"The Killer Bass are catching up with six-four on the scoreboard," Chris informed them all after Eva and Beth had taken their seats. "The next challenge comes from the mind of... Duncan!"

Harold and Ezekiel looked round at Courtney, who shrugged. "Well, I'm not doing it," she said. "I know how wicked that ogre's mind is."

Bridgette volunteered for the challenge, despite the protests of most of her team. Heather was selected for the Screaming Gophers, and her cruel grin was focused on the surfer girl.

"So, how's it feel to have your boyfriend stick you in a stink house?" she asked, leaning in close.

"Bite me," Bridgette replied.

"Duncan's challenge is... Wedgies," Chris announced, chuckling. "We have to pick a member of the opposing team to give a wedgie to the contestant. I think I'll pick Cody to do Bridgette, and Ezekiel will do Heather."

Heather looked very worried, furious, and disgusted at the same time; on the other side, Bridgette's sly smile was back as she crossed her arms confidently.

Ezekiel walked behind Heather, trying desperately not to look nervous and failing miserably. Cody rocked on his feet behind Bridgette, also looking nervous.

"Girls, pull out your underwear a tad. Then boys, you must yank like you never yanked before," Chris cheered.

Heather pulled her panties out a tad from behind, and muttered, "Don't you dare try to do anything back ther-aaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Ezekiel yanked up on her panties, almost lifting the queen bee up. She strained, biting her bottom lip, and clenched her fists. "I... hate... you, Zeke!"

"Think of it as karma for being mean to the others here," the prairie boy replied.

He pulled up higher, making the ravenhaired girl squeak in pain. Heather glared over at Bridgette to see how her opponent was doing, and was startled to see Bridgette was still smiling. The surfer girl was wearing a thong, and Cody had stretched it all the way over his head without any effect.

This went on for a little while, Heather straining and Cody desperately trying to get any effect out of Bridgette. Gwen was grinning gleefully as she watched the queen bee writhe in pain.

"I give, I give," Heather shrieked after a few more seconds. "Just let go!"

Ezekiel did as told, and the Asian-Canadian quickly tried to hide her underwear from the others. Bridgette looked around at Cody and replied, "Good try, Cody. You can let go now."

The tech-geek nodded, and slowly tried to lower his arms; however, his hands trembled after handling a girl's underwear for so long, and he let go. The thong shot from all the way above Cody's head and snapped right back to wear it originated from.

From all over the island, one could cry Bridgette's high-pitched cry of, "YEEEEE-OWWWWWW!"

Bridgette sat down gingerly, hissing in pain. Ezekiel winced, and said, "You need something soft to sit on, eh? I still got my pad from when Izzy shot me in the butt."

"No, no thanks, I'll be fine."

Cody, very red in the face from embarrassment, tried to ignore Gwen's muffled laughter as he sat down. "Cody," she giggled, tears in her eyes, "you're supposed to pinch a girl's toosh, not give her whiplash!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Zing! She zinged him!)**

Cody - \stretching his shirt's collar\ "Oh, man... I'm never going to live that down. Never ever ever..."

Ezekiel - \sighs, staring up at the ceiling of the outhouse\ "Man... I really, really shouldn't be saying this... but... WOW! Her panties were so cute!"

* * *

Chris Maclean waited for Heather to get comfortable offstage, and began speaking again when she came back out and sat down. "Okay, we have it at six-five Screaming Gophers, so let's see if the Killer Bass can tie it up! Next is an idea from... Lindsay!"

Eva was back on the stage floor, punching her palm. Noah walked onstage, covering his eyes and shaking his head.

"Your challenge may be the most disgusting yet," Chris declared. "It is called... the Better Kiss!"

Eva's confidence vanished as her eyes widened, dropping her fists and jaw. Noah's eyes widened, raising his head and spirits.

"Chef, Owen, and I will judge who is the better kisser," Chris said. "Oh, and Eva, any non-affectionate, physical blows will result in instant disqualification."

Noah strutted over to Eva, who's twitching eye left Chris and focused on him. "Oh no," she started, "don't you dare, don't you-"

The egghead wrapped an arm around Eva's waist, tilted her back a little, and gave her a big smooch. Eva's fingers curled and her hands shook, and angry, garbled words were muffled by Noah's mouth.

"Wow, nice use of body chemistry," Chris said, pointing at Noah.

"Good form with the lips, modest and polite," Chef Hatchet commentated.

"Eva's almost allergic-like reaction is slightly off-putting," Owen said. "I also like Noah's suave moves."

After a couple more seconds, Noah released Eva and backed off. "Well," he said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, "how about it, judges?"

"I would have been happier if you had used tongue, but you get my vote," Chef said.

"I'm going with Noah too," Owen added, "because Eva looks sick and you look fine."

"My vote goes to you as well, Noah," Chris answered. "And with three votes, you win, Noah!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Noah, you'd better start running.)**

Courtney - \her eyes wide\ "Oh my." \She starts giggling, trying desperately to suppress it, but ends up cracking up.\

Noah - \looking ashamed\ "Sorry, Katie. And boy...," \he wipes his mouth again with his sleeve\ "... she sure has hard lips. Rather weird."

Eva - \spitting and using a toothbrush fervently\ "Yuck! Nerd germs, bleah!"

Izzy - \smiling impishly\ "Man, I wish it had been Noah and Cody who were forced to kiss each other!" \She cackles, then stops suddenly.\ "Oh, wait, they're on the same team; darn."

Cody - "Oh man, if it had been Gwen and Bridgette who had to do this instead of that outhouse competition..." \He sighs dreamily, then gets a sudden nosebleed. He plugs his nose and blushes.\

* * *

**(Playa des Losers, or Plaza de Losers, we forget.)**

The ten campers watching the show were laughing hard, clinging to each other or something else to support their off-balancing mirth.

"And... there they go," Trent said as he continued to watch the screen. "Eva's now chasing Noah."

"Running for his life the second time today," DJ remarked. "Poor guy. Good thing he runs fast."

"He runs fast for a nerd," Duncan remarked. Leshawna smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow, what was that for?!"

"You know I don't approve of you using 'nerd' as an insult now, fool," she replied.

"Because of your nerd boyfriend?"

Leshawna growled and chased Duncan around the plaza, an event that was becoming more and more common there.

"Think she'll catch him this time?" Justin asked the 'twins' as he watched.

"Naw, Duncan's too fast for her," Sadie replied, smiling at the male model, "but I'd really love to see what she does if she does catch him. Ooo, that'd be fun to see!"

Lindsay giggled, then looked over at Katie. "Sorry that my challenge idea forced your boyfriend to kiss another girl, Katherine."

"Nah, it was through obligation that he had to do it," the thin BFFF replied. "And I'm sure kissing Eva when she chases him around with the threat of a serious beating isn't that enjoyable.

"And Geoff's a good sport about it, so I'll be too. Right, Geoff?"

She looked over at the party animal. He had been seriously upset ever since his challenge had put Bridgette in the most disgusting place any of them had been. "Geoff?" Katie called to him. "C'mon, hon, Bridgette knows you didn't mean for her to go through that."

"And she looks great now," Tyler pointed out.

Geoff looked over at Tyler, who had Lindsay on his lap. He sighed and fiddled with his cowboy hat. "I just hate how I made her feel so bad. I mean, how could you forgive someone who put you through that?"

"Well, she does accidentally get you hurt a lot, George," Lindsay replied. "Don't let it get you down."

"Yeah, man! Let's just enjoy our friends humiliate themselves more," Tyler said, raising an empty glass up in the air. "Go, Zeke! Go, Killer Bass!"

"Go, Screaming Gophers," Trent exclaimed.

"Naw man, you want the Killer Bass to win," DJ said. "Then the Screaming Gophers can vote off Heather!"

"Except there's that twist Chris mentioned," Justin pointed out, tapping his chin. "Wonder if it's some kind of trap."

"**So who is going to win while the score is at seven-five?**" asked Sadie. "**The Killer Bass or the Screaming Gophers?**"

"**And what's that twist to whoever gets voted off the losing team?**" Geoff wondered aloud.

"**And if Leshawna manages to catch Duncan, will there be anything left of him afterwards?**" Tyler mused.

The eight campers exchanged glances. "Hey, wait a minute," Katie said, "did we just sum it all up like Chris Maclean does?"

"Guess so. And fittingly timed too," Tyler said, pointing at the TV they were watching. "It just cut to commercial."

* * *

**Part 2 approaching, drop altitude.**

* * *

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Yes, this episode is fairly close to Triple Dog Dare. Am I running out of original ideas? Nope (well, maybe)!

**Killer Bass** - Ezekiel, Eva, Courtney, Harold, Bridgette

**Screaming Gophers** - Noah, Izzy, Cody, Beth, Heather, Gwen


	36. Day 12, Part 2: How Dare You Dare Me

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Any spelling or grammar errors in this story are not endorsed, encouraged, or enforced by this fanfiction.

* * *

**To Everybody's Questions and Comments** - Boy, a lot of you want to see kissing. Don't make me resent my own story (man, I hate being single).

Also, the two 'main' characters of this story has been removed. There won't be any 'mains' until the story is over, to avoid any possible hints in the following days and challenges.

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

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* * *

**Chapter 36 (Day 12, Part 2)** - Blood, Sweat, Toil, and Syrup

* * *

Ezekiel drummed his fingers on his arm. "This reminds me of a musical, really. One of those my mother always forced me to watch, eh. There's all this suffering and pain and warbling screams. Not like one of the fun musicals, where people run up the walls, eh."

"I don't dance," Eva remarked.

"I don't sing," Harold replied.

"I don't want to be known for a teenybopper princess," Courtney said, crossing her arms. "No one's going to remember me as the girl with the lowest neckline and a miniskirt."

"There's an image," Bridgette said, smiling at the CIT.

Chris Maclean cleared his throat and drummed his fingers against the console he stood in front of. His time in front of the camera had been reduced by seconds, _seconds_, so he needed to swing the screen time back to him.

"And we're back with The Screams of the Thirteen," Chris announced, "and the Scre-"

"Why do you keep saying, 'we're back'?" Noah asked, scowling at the host. "We didn't go anywhere. We've been sitting at the tables, waiting for you to announce the next challenge."

"Correction," Izzy chimed in, "_you_ were screaming and running for your life from Eva. _We_ were the ones sitting at the table the majority of the time."

"Details, detai-"

"You were also hiding from her," Gwen remarked, "under the table for a couple minutes."

"Whimpering and trying to give yoursthelf lastht rites," Beth said.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It was Eva, give him a break.)**

 Noah - \is sulking bitterly\ "Yeah, if we had been on commercial break then, that would have been a secret. Thank you, Gwen; thank you, Izzy; thank you, Beth. Thank you so _bloody_ much!"

Eva - "Noah runs pretty fast for a bookworm."

* * *

"Now let's get back to the contest we were having so much fun with," Chris declared, and spun the arrow. "The next challenge is from... Justin!"

Courtney and Gwen took to center stage, and the glares they gave each other were nearly fatal. The other campers, even ones as tough as Eva, shivered at the intensity of their rivalry.

"You're going down, Gwen," Courtney snarled, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, I beg to differ," the goth girl countered.

"Your challenge, most hostile ladies," Chris cut in, popping up in-between the two, "is Overtoasted Marshmallows!"

Owen walked over to the two girls, holding a couple sticks. On the end of each was a charred marshmallow, one still burning slightly.

"Your goal is to eat this overly toasted marshmallow, every ashen bit," the host explained it to them.

Gwen licked her fingers and squeezed out the tiny flame on her marshmallow, then nibbled at it. Wincing horribly, she looked over at her opponent. "Think you can do it, Ms. Goody Two Shoes?"

Courtney snarled, then nibbled at the marshmallow herself. She gagged, but continued to nibble at it. She had three-quarters of it done before she had to stop because her gagging was getting too strong. The CIT looked over at Gwen, who hadn't touched her marshmallow again yet.

"What, too burnt for you?" Courtney taunted her, still spitting and hacking.

"No, just wanted you to gag as much as possible," the goth girl replied, grinning. Opening her mouth wide, she stuck the whole, charred marshmallow into her mouth. She pulled it off with her teeth, chewed a few times, then swallowed.

The CIT's jaw dropped as the goth girl struggled not to throw up, and succeeded. Gwen twirled the stick around and strutted back over to her team. Courtney, furious, threw the stick on the ground.

"Why are you friends with that freak?" she asked Bridgette as she sat down with her team. "She's such a...-"

"Courtney, please," Bridgette cut her off. "Let's just concentrate on the contest."

Chris watched Gwen as the goth high-fived her teammates. "Another point for the Screaming Gophers, making it eight-five their lead!

"The next challenge comes from... Tyler!"

Izzy and Ezekiel were chosen, though when the prairie boy saw the redhead grin and wave at him, he scurried back to his team. "No no no no no," he chanted as Eva and Courtney pushed him back. "Not her, anybody but her, eh!"

"Zeke, get your prairie butt out there and win this," Courtney shouted. "We're losing, and you cannot just back out like Noah does!"

As the egghead scowled at her, Ezekiel looked at Izzy worriedly. The redhead bobbed on her feet and said, "Awww, Zeke relax, these challenges aren't so dangerous. What could possibly be so bad?"

"Your next challenge is...," Chris announced, as he read off a card, "... Flaming Batons!"

Chef Hatchet was holding the two batons, lighting the ends on fire. He grinned sadistically and twirled them both in one hand.

"See, Zeke?" Izzy said to the prairie boy, who had frozen in terror ever since the name of the challenge had been announced. "It's not that dangerous!"

As if on cue for a cruel joke, Chef Hatchet dropped one of them and it lit his dress on fire. Screaming in terror, the large man ran around as his dress was consumed in fire.

"Stop, drop, and roll, Chef man," Chris shouted, "stop, drop and roll!!"

The giant man did as told, and he lay there in charred tatters of his dress, revealing his heart polka-dotted boxers, garter belt, and stockings.

"I think he's done, stick a fork in him," Noah remarked.

Ezekiel, who's eyes were bugging out, turned to Bridgette. "My father gets all my archery stuff, tell my mother I loved her cooking moo'r than anything, make sure Tyler gets his iPod back, and you can have my-"

"Zeke man," Chris shouted, tossing him one of the batons, "your task here is to perform some great tricks with the flaming batons! I'll be the judge, now go!"

The prairie boy nervously took one of the flaming batons, and started to twirl it in one hand. Years of twirling a pencil in thought at home paid off, and he soon was spinning it wildly.

Before he could give it a toss, Izzy was bouncing around him, doing cartwheels and spilts-kicks. He swore he could smell something burning, and looked down at the stage floor.

"Izzy, did you light the stage on fire?" he asked.

With his back to his teammates, the Killer Bass gasped in horror as they saw Ezekiel's jacket had caught on fire. Bridgette and Harold started screaming at him to stop, drop, and roll.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Ohhhh, that's our Izzy!)**

 Ezekiel - \scowling angrily\ "Have I mentioned how much I don't like being around that girl, eh?"

* * *

The prairie boy lay on the ground, panting. Smoke rose from the back of his jacket, which Izzy waved it away.

"I think you're still smoldering right there, Zeke," she said as she licked her fingers and attempted to squeeze it out.

"Please," he groaned, "do not... get... near me."

Chris Maclean, laughing at others' pain as usual, clapped. "Well, another point for the Screaming Gophers! It's 5-9 them, and our next challenge comes from-"

"Hey, wait a minute," Courtney shouted. "How come Izzy won? She merely set Zeke on fire! How's that a trick?"

"Well, it made me laugh, and I'm the judge," Chris replied, grinning at her scowling face.

"I hate how he's host," she grumbled, sinking back in her seat. Bridgette nodded in agreement.

"I heard that! Now, the next challenge comes from... Sadie!"

Harold and Cody took to center stage, giving each other the steeliest, nerd glares they could. One thing all non-nerds should know, there's nothing more determined than a nerd on a mission.

"Your challenge from the BFFF is... Feather to Feet!"

Cody and Harold were shoved into chairs by Chef, and their shoes and socks were yanked off. Owen handed Chef a very long, fluffy feather, then pulled one out of his pocket; his was a little crumpled, and had some food crumbs stuck in it.

"First one to laugh loses," Chris told them. "And go!"

Chef began tickling Harold, and Owen ticked Cody, rubbing the feathers on the soles of their feet. Cody bit his lower lip, he began to twitch, and his face turned bright red.

Harold looked bored. "Yeah, that's, like, not going to work there, Chef," he informed the cook. "My feet are pure callous, from all the hiking I do in Possum Scouts."

"Shut up, lanky boy."

"And there's the extensive ninja training. I could kick a hole through the cabin wall, really!"

Cody was scrunched up, shaking violently; Izzy was sure he was going blow up. Finally, the tech-geek burst out laughing, almost falling out of the chair.

"Stop stop, I beg you," he managed to choke out as he kicked his feet, accidentally catching Owen in the face with a kick. The tech-geek choked, hiccuped, and finally fell out of the chair.

"That's 6-9, thanks to Harold," Chris pointed out. "Next challenge comes from... Geoff!"

The campers all blanched, and in the end, Eva was the only one willing to go on the Killer Bass. The Screaming Gophers shoved Heather out there, and the queen bee was than thrilled by this.

"Your challenge is Whip Cream Sculptures," the host explained to them. "Make the best sculpture you can out of whip cream, and I'm going to judge!"

While Heather let out a sigh of relief, Eva began to panic inside. As she began to spray some of the cream on a plate, she realized how difficult modeling with whip cream could be. Her fingers and face soon had a great deal of whip cream on them.

Heather created a model of the totem pole at the Wawanakwa campground, grinning proudly. Eva had something that look like the dog had chewed beyond recognition.

Chris looked at Eva's first. "Um, what is that, Eva?" The fitness buff fervently tried to think of a viable object that could justify this creamy mess.

"The Thing?"

The host stared at it for a moment, then shrugged and smiled. "Meh, that's cool. It actually does look a lot like it."

He headed over to Heather's, and looked at the tall totem pole of whip cream. "Now this," he started to say, "is not bad, Hea-"

Eva reacted fast. After a quick study of the planks on the stage floor, she stomped one that was connected to the table Heather's sculpture was upon. With a violent wobble, the white, creamy totem pole toppled and fell on Heather with a delicious sounding splat.

Chris burst out laughing at her shocked expression (as did Gwen, Beth, Courtney, and Harold). "Well, sorry, Heather, but I guess that means Eva wins."

"What are you saying?" the ravenhair shouted, wiping the whip cream from her eyes. "She knocked it over-"

"Didn't see her do that. Anyway, it's 7-9 now, Screaming Gophers. Next is..."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Whipped, creamed, and owned!)**

 Heather - \still coated with whip cream\ "I... hate... that man!"

Eva - \licking whip cream from her fingers\ "Well hey, she would have done the same to me if I had a better project. C'mon people, you gotta fight fire with fire."

* * *

"... Katie! It's time for Noah's girl to have you all humiliate yourselves in some way!"

Bridgette and Izzy took to center stage. Noah refused to do this one, and when asked why, he refused to say.

"Your challenge is... Monkey Imitations," Chris announced. "Do your best imitation of a monkey, and you win! Chef judges this time around."

"Well, we win," Heather said as she wiped the rest of the whip cream from her face. "There is no way Izzy can lose this one."

On the stage, Izzy was jumping around like a monkey already, and Bridgette was close to follow. Both making accurate monkey grunts, they began to pick at each other's hair for pests.

"How about we photograph this and blackmail 'em for years?" Eva asked, grinning wickedly.

" 'Blackmail' Izzy with embarrassing photos?" Courtney repeated.

"Yeah... I realized how stupid that sounded right after I said it."

Bridgette stood on her hands, still chirping and grunting like a monkey. At this, Chef clapped and grinned. "Aww, I love it when monkeys do that," he shouted, grinning like an idiot. "Blond girl wins, blond girl wins!"

The Screaming Gophers immediately began protesting. As Heather shouted about how unfair and biased the judging was, Izzy, who hadn't dropped the act yet, began to pick at the queen bee's hair.

"No jellybeans in her hair," she said to Cody, confusing the tech-geek.

"It's 8-9, and the Killer Bass have almost tied this up," Chris announced. "The next challenge comes from... Joel! Our special guest star is going to show his cruel roots!"

Ezekiel and Noah took the challenge, the two giving each other sly grins.

"Your challenge is Kart Air Time!" A ramp rose up on the right end of the stage, and the two karts, driven by Chef and Owen, were driven onto the left side.

"See who can get the most amount of air time with the two remaining karts that Joel made for us a couple competitions ago," Chris declared.

Ezekiel and Noah sat into a kart each, exchanged glances, then revved up their karts.

"Get ready...," Chris said, holding up a checkered flag, "get set... and GO!"

He waved the flag, and the two boys raced forward. When they shot up the ramp, both karts soared through the air.

One went riderless, though, as Ezekiel's kart bounced at the tip of the ramp, knocking the prairie boy's seat _out_ of the kart. He was sent cart wheeling back through the air, screaming and holding the now-detached wheel of his kart, and crash-landed back on the stage.

Noah, whooping and pumping his fists in the air as he soared, was luckier, as his kart gained serious air time and landed safely. Ezekiel's kart landed on its bumper, bounced, then exploded on its second landing.

"And Noah wins," Chris shouted through his bullhorn.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Exploding karts are cool!)**

 Joel - "Oh my, oh my word. Another one destroyed, I should never have let Chef near them."

\He looks around, then blinks.\ "Oh wait, I'm not supposed to be seen here, am I?" \He pulls out a smoke pellet, and drops it; the confession cam is filled with smoke.\

* * *

"Okay, as Chef cleans up the mess," Chris said, noting the flaming wreck that Chef was desperately trying to put out with a fire extinguisher (he also noticed smoke coming from the Confession Cam, but he didn't know how that was possible), "we go on to the next challenge!"

Ezekiel, rubbing his head where he had landed on it after being through from his kart, groaned. "Why is it every time he says we're catching up, we lose again?"

"Yeah, that jerk, jinxing us like that," Harold agreed.

"Our next challenge," the hexing host said as he spun the arrow, "is... from Owen!"

Once again, Heather was shoved onto the stage by her teammates. Harold volunteered for his team, looking determined.

"Your challenge is the Toilet Paper Munch," Chris declared, grinning wickedly. "Our lovable intern decided whoever can finish eating a roll of toilet paper."

Harold and Heather looked more revolted and terrified than they ever had in their entire life.

"It's not _used_ toilet paper, guys," Owen assured them.

Both looked intensely relieved.

When they were handed a roll, Heather looked disgusted at the idea of eating toilet paper. "People wipe their butts with this," she shouted, jabbing it with a finger.

"But it's double-quilted for comfort's sake," Cody called out.

"Please don't eat the Charmin," Gwen remarked.

"Dork faces," Heather yelled at them.

Harold was taking bites out of the roll. When he had managed to reduce a large amount of the toilet paper, he began to unroll it and gobble it down.

"Oh go ahead," Heather replied, tossing her roll over her shoulder. "Watching you gorge down on toilet paper is more satisfying than winning, because I know Leshawna's watching you do this."

Harold froze, going wide-eyed. He looked at the camera, then at Chris; the nerd looked a mite ridiculous, because a piece of toilet paper was still sticking out of his mouth.

"It's okay, Harold," Chris said, patting his shoulder. "She quits, so you win." Fervently spitting out the toilet paper, Harold stumbled back to his team's table and hid his face.

"That makes it 9-10, Screaming Gophers! Our next challenge comes from...," Chris said, as he gave the arrow a spun.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Always contains some TP.)**

 Harold - "Um, Leshawna babe? I hope this doesn't discourage you from kissing me! It was clean toilet paper, after all!"

Owen - "Those two can be such wimps, hehe! I can easily eat toilet paper! ... But I don't normally! Really, honest!"

* * *

"... DJ! What's our football star got this time around?"

Courtney took to the stage, her arms crossed in determination. When she saw Beth was chosen for the other team, she grinned.

"This should be easy enough," she said to herself.

"It's time," Chris cheered, "for the Marshmallow Stuff! Stuff as many marshmallows as you can! Let's see who can shove the most in your big, fat pie holes!"

A large tray of marshmallow was raised from under the stage. Beth whistled, and commented, "That could sthave a lot of campers, huh?"

Courtney didn't bother to answer, she began stuffing them into her mouth. With a shrug, the farm girl began to shove them into her mouth.

The stuffing continued, and both looked like they had shoved tennis balls into their cheeks. Courtney was beginning to strain, while Beth looked fine.

"_What the hell?_" the CIT thought to herself as she desperately tried to catch up. "_Is she part squirrel?_"

After a couple more marshmallows, Courtney began to choke on the fluffy, sugary goodness. Harold immediately ran over and karate-chopped her in the back, causing her to spit them all out.

"The winner is Beth," Chris announced.

Beth herself looked very strange, as Courtney's drool-covered marshmallows had hit her in the mouth. It was even more embarrassing when she had remove her own marshmallows when they fell out of her mouth, plop plop plop.

"Yuck," she said, walking away.

"Now it's 9-11, Screaming Gophers still," Chris said. "This contest is getting really good, isn't it folks? Okay then, our next challenge will be from..."

As the arrow spun, Noah looked over at Beth. "Um, Beth? You got marshmallow stuck in your teeth."

"And your metal," Heather remarked, grinning.

The farm girl tried to ignore them as the arrow finally landed on one of the eliminated campers. "It's time for one of Duncan's dangerous dares, folks! Send out your bravest!"

According to their teams, Eva and Gwen were the bravest. The two girls exchanged determined glares, and then glanced over at Chris.

"Duncan's second challenge is the Chainsaw Catch!"

Chef Hatchet dragged a couple chainsaws onto the stage. He started them up, handing one to Gwen and one to Eva. Eva looked like she was asked to perform a chore, and Gwen was staring at the loud chainsaw as if... well, you cannot get more terrified than she was at this moment.

"You are going to toss your chainsaw into the air, and catch it," Chris informed them. "Hopefully, not by the blade. Now... toss!"

The two girls threw their roaring chainsaws into the air. Eva waited patiently as her chainsaw spun in the air, and she managed to catch it by the handle. Gwen, on the other hand, ran away screaming the moment she tossed hers up.

The goth girl's chainsaw chewed into the floor, then raced forward like a toy car. The Killer Bass team screamed and bolted as it headed towards them, and sliced through their table. The four campers ran around, yelling and panicking as the chainsaw continued to tear through the floor.

"Stop it, someone," Chris shouted, standing on his podium and waving his arms. "Stop it before it kills us all!"

A beam that had been severed by both chainsaws thrown into the air finally broke away and fell on his head, K.O.'ing the host.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Eeek, don't let it get us!)**

 Courtney - "Thank you _so_ much for that challenge, Duncan! Playing with chainsaws, have you lost every sense of judgment? Oh wait, did you have any to begin with?"

Izzy - "Well, that livened things up!"

Eva - \laughing\ "Score one for me! I won that challenge AND I managed to hurt Chris in the process! Woohoo!"

* * *

"Well," Chris started, looking at the smoldering mess that was once an out-of-control chainsaw; Chef Hatchet had used a flame-thrower on it, scorching most of the set too. "That was fun!"

He rubbed the second bandage that had been applied to his head, this one placed where the beam had hit him. "Now it's 10-11 Screaming Gophers! We're getting close to the end of this challenge, so bring your A-game!

"The next challenge comes from... Trent! Our music man dares you all again!"

Cody and Courtney were on the stage, though the CIT looked very unnerved. "I cannot do this," she whimpered, shaking, "I'm... I'm still recovering from that chainsaw coming at us!"

"Aw c'mon, Courtney," Bridgette shouted to her friend. "It's dead, it's not coming back! You can do this!"

"Show us what you got, Ms. CIT," Eva declared.

"Courtney! Courtney! Courtney," Ezekiel began to cheer, and soon his team joined him for a short chant of their teammate's name.

The CIT took a deep breath, then turned to the host of the show. "So then, what's the challenge?"

"Live Shrimp," Chris exclaimed. "You both will have a live shrimp in your mouth, complete with water so he can swim around in there!"

Courtney shivered, and Cody didn't look so happy about this either. A couple of fishbowls raised up from beneath the stage, filled with water and a live shrimp inside. Chef picked up both bowls and faced the challengers.

"This won't work for Courtney," Gwen shouted. "She's never good at keeping her mouth shut."

The brunette girl hissed at the goth, then snatched the bowl from Chef. She poured the shrimp into her mouth herself. The cook blinked, then poured the other bowl into Cody's mouth.

The tech-geek and the CIT whimpered and clutched their mouths, as the shrimp swam inside their mouths. Courtney strained, shaking her head.

Cody gave in first, as the shrimp started to crawl to the back of his mouth. The tech-geek spat the shrimp back into the bowl, gagging. "Sorry, guys," he apologized to his team.

"And Courtney wins! The score is tied up," Chris cheered as Courtney spat out her shrimp too. "Now this will be getting more intense than ever before! The next challenge will be... from Lindsay!"

Despite her worry over it being Lindsay's challenge, Heather volunteered to do it. Ezekiel took it up for the Killer Bass.

"Awww, the lovebirds are going to be competing in Pasta Slurp," Chris announced.

Chef pulled up two chairs, a small table, and set a bowl of pasta covered with sauce on the table. He pulled out a violin and began to play, rather badly; Courtney took about ten seconds of it before she yanked it away from him and began to play. She was much better.

"As you can see, there is an end of a pasta noodle on both sides. Your assignment, should you choose to slurp it, is to finish your strand before the other.

"Oh, and I'm not going to tell you how old that pasta sauce is!" Ezekiel and Heather grimaced, then sat down at their chairs.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Thi-iiiiiiiiiis... is the ni-iiiiiiight...)**

 Chef Hatchet - "Hehehe, oh, Chris, that kidder. That pasta's only a day old, but I guess it's like a negative placebo that way."

Chris - "We've secretly switched their pasta noodles from two strands to one really long one. Let's watch and see if they notice!"

* * *

Heather and Ezekiel began slurping at their end of the pasta noodles. The queen bee winced as she continued, but the prairie boy seemed more okay with it.

"I doo'nt thish ish old," he mumbled out of the side of his mouth. "Quite good, actually-"

"Less talking, more slurping," Courtney ordered him, still playing the violin.

Ezekiel nodded, and began to slurp harder. He and Heather were so determined, they didn't even notice the plate of pasta was diminishing completely. The queen bee and prairie boy leaned over the table in their rush, and when they reached the 'end' of the pasta...

"Ewwww," Courtney shouted, leaping back.

Heather's eyes bulged as she realized she was kissing Ezekiel's lips. She threw herself back in her chair, knocking it back and throwing her in a tumble to the floor.

Most of the campers began cracking up, the exceptions being Courtney and Bridgette, who looked horrified. Ezekiel sat there, wide-eyed, until he licked his lips and looked at his cackling host. "So, who won, eh?"

"Well," Chris mused, looking at a TV screen that was rewinding the events that had just took place, "Heather was leaning closer to you, lover boy, so she got more of the pasta. Guess that means she wants you... I mean, she won."

He pressed the rewind button, and replayed the kiss again. "You two are so cute, you know that?"

"Stop playing that," Heather, red-faced, shouted before heading back to her team. She hollered at her teammates to stop laughing, but it was just too funny to them.

Bridgette tapped her fingers together as she watched Ezekiel sit down with them. "Um, Zeke? You okay?"

"Yeah, Bridge, that sauce wasn't old like Chris said it w-"

"You know what I mean," she interrupted him.

He blinked, then shrugged. "There have been worse things that have happened."

Bridgette opened her mouth, then remembered being stuck in the outhouse Owen had used. "Never mind," she said, sighing.

"Screaming Gophers are leading, and are one point from winning," Chris announced. "Our possible final challenge will be from... Grand Master Chef!"

Harold and Izzy were the only ones who were willing (in the least possible aspect of the word 'willing') to take up the big man's challenge. The chef cracked his knuckles and said, "So which one of my challenges are these wimps taking?"

"It's the Eat Your Hair contest," Chris said.

Chef grinned, then pulled a pair of scissors from his pocket. He cut at the ends of Harold's and Izzy's hair, startling both of them. Then he placed the hair on two plates on the previously used table, and sprinkled a bit of salt on both.

"It's time for you to eat your hair, and your opponent's hair," Chris informed them. "The first to complete his or her plate, or if your foe spits out hair at any time, you will be the winner! Now eat!"

Harold picked at the combination of red and brown hair. "This," he muttered, "is not sanitary, I know it."

Izzy was gobbling her plate down, with her team cheering her on loudly. The Killer Bass cringed, seeing defeat in the very near future.

"Harold, eat the damn hair, you cretin," Eva yelled. "I don't care if you have a dandruff problem, you're eating your hair!"

Izzy immediately stopped eating; even the crazy girl had limitations. "Dandruff?" she repeated, mouth full of hair.

"Y-yeah," Courtney shouted, "and head lice! Your head lice problem is of no concern now!"

"Or your split ends," Eva added.

"SPLIT ENDS?!" Izzy shouted, and spat out the hair in her mouth as fast as she could.

"The Killer Bass win," Chris declared. The Screaming Gophers groaned in defeat.

"Well done, Harold, now we're tied for victory," Courtney cheered, clapping her hands.

Harold was not happy about this, in fact he was snarling furious. "I don't have dandruff," he spat out as he sat down with his team, "or head lice, or split ends! Idiots!!" 

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Oh, the 'hairror'!)**

 Harold - "Leshawna babe, I swear I don't have any of that stuff! Look!" \He parts his hair and shows it up-close at the camera.\

* * *

"And now the final challenge of the night," Chris shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. "We've had fun, barfing, crashes, spills, chills, and even kissing! Now it's time to wrap it all up! And the last challenge will be from...

"Leshawna!"

Bridgette, being the last one in the competing order the contest was set up for, was up for the Killer Bass. Cody was up for the Screaming Gophers.

"Your challenge is, well first, stand on the left end of the stage."

Bridgette and Cody did so, exchanging nervous glances. Chris pushed a button on the console, and a very thick, sticky liquid poured on the two campers.

"Gah," Bridgette choked out, spitting some from her mouth. "Oh no... it's..."

"That's right, it's our nation's pride and joy," Chris cheered, "maple syrup! It's the Maple Syrup Run!"

Chef was pouring a pathway of maple syrup in front of the two competitors, from one of the stage to the other.

"Do you know how difficult this is going to be to get out of hair!?" Cody wailed, gripping his hair.

"What if it hardens?" Bridgette asked, looking just as horrified.

"You'd better hit the showers afterwards then, because the first one to the other side wins," the handsome host replied. "Now...-"

He was cut off when maple syrup was suddenly poured on him. "GAAAH! Who set it up so that maple syrup would pour on me?!"

Owen whistled innocently.

"Okay you two maggots," Chef Hatchet barked, "GO!"

Bridgette took a step, slipped and fell face-first in the syrup. Crying out as she pulled herself up, she wiped as much as she could from her eyes.

"This is going to get stuck in my ears," she grumbled, "and my eyebrows... oh God, it'll rip the skin off me if it hardens!"

"Bridgette, c'mon," Courtney shouted to her. "You can do this, we know you can!"

"Go Bridgette, you're the best, eh," Ezekiel cried out.

"Bridgette, Bridgette, woooo," Harold chanted.

The surfer nodded, wiping more maple syrup from her face. She trudged through the maple syrup, loaded down with the weight of the gooey goodness. Cody, nearby her, was taking one step at a time, his shoes making loud, slurping sounds every time he lifted his feet.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," their teams cheered for them.

Cody pushed forward while Bridgette fell down again. The surfer spat out more syrup from her mouth, and strained to get up. "No," she cried out, "I'm... I'm stuck! Gah!"

Hearing this, the tech-geek picked up the pace and managed to make it to the other side. Pumping his fists into the air, his team let out loud cheers.

"The Screaming Gophers have won it all," Chef Hatchet declared. "They win, Killer Bass lose!"

Izzy danced on the Screaming Gophers table, Cody and Gwen hugged in celebration, Beth clapped and cheered, and Heather leaned back in her chair and smiled in triumph.

The losing team sunk in their chairs, though none of them looked as upset as Bridgette. The surfer girl, still stuck in the maple syrup, let out a loud sigh.

"Never... gonna... get this out of my hair," she whimpered.

Courtney was there for her friend. She grabbed onto the surfer's jacket from behind, and pulled hard. Eva came to help when the CIT wasn't able to pull her friend free, and even the fitness buff had to struggle to pull Bridgette from the gooey mess.

"So what's that twist about who gets voted off the losing team?" Harold asked.

They all looked around for Chris, who had disappeared ever since the Maple Syrup Run had started. "He hurried to the communal restrooms to wash himself," Owen pointed out.

"And I'm back!" The campers looked over at Chris, who was standing on the stage naked except for a towel around his waist and one around his hair. Some of the campers screamed in horror, some burst out laughing.

"Yeah yeah, enjoy looking at my handsome body while you can," Chris said, managing a grin. "But the twist is actually... a little tricky now. You see, the plan was that whoever managed to complete the least amount of challenges on the losing team would be eliminated. However..."

He pressed a button on his console, and a TV screen lowered down. On the screen were the head shots of the five Killer Bass, each with a number next to them. Eva and Harold had four, Bridgette had two, and Ezekiel and Courtney had one.

"You see here, both Courtney and Ezekiel have the same amount of the lowest score," Chris explained. "Now I cannot have both of them eliminated, so it leaves me to wonder what we do next."

"Why don't you justht let their team vote, and justht for thosth two?" Beth asked.

Chris blinked, then grinned. "Beth, you're a little genius! Chef, give her a cookie!" The cook did so, and Beth happily gobbled it down. "Campers, meet at the bonfire tonight! Courtney, Ezekiel, your fate hangs on the wire, let's hope your friends don't shake you off!"

Bridgette wrung some maple syrup from her hair. "I'm not doing anything until I wash myself! I can feel this hardening as we speak!"

Courtney moved to help her, but Gwen elbowed the CIT out of the way. "Here, I'll help her," the goth girl said, glaring at the brunette. "Wouldn't want you influencing her vote."

Cody was walking alongside Bridgette and Gwen. The goth girl was about to protest, but she realized the tech-geek was also coated in maple syrup. "Cody, you peek, you die, got it?" she instructed him.

"Sounds reasonable," he replied, giving her a smile. "But then you'd have to wash away the blood and the syrup, and that'd get really messy."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Blood and Syrup would be a great name for a Canadian rock band.)**

 Cody - \clean now, clad only by a towel around his waist\ "What I really wanted to say was, 'I'd die the happiest man on Earth', but I know better than that with Gwen."

Bridgette - \clean now, wearing a robe and a towel around her hair\ "I'm really, really torn over this one! Courtney's been my friend, but she's done some bad things. Ezekiel's my friend too, but I'm so worried that the longer he stays with Heather, something bad may happen to him! What do I do?! What do I do..."

Eva - "My vote's obvious."

Harold - "I've made my choice too, and it's not easy, but I feel it has to be done."

Courtney - "This is going to be really close, I can feel that. I hate to lose more than anything, and I prefer not to win with such cruel suspense. It cannot be helped this time, and I have to have faith that the three voting prefer me over Zeke."

Ezekiel - \with a shrug of his shoulders\ "Hey you knoo', if get booted off, I'm actually okay with that. I've had moo'r fun here than anywhere else I've been, eh. So if this is the end of my joor'ney on Total Drama Comeback, then so be it. I have no regrets, eh."

* * *

The bonfire ceremony looked strange, considering Ezekiel and Courtney were the only ones sitting on the stumps. The nine other campers watched, some anxious and some passive.

"Okay, campers," Chris said, standing behind the oil drum as per usual. "It's time for out who will be leaving Total Drama Comeback, walk the Dock of Shame, and board the Boat of Losers... with Owen!"

The large teen waved at the others. "Wait, with Owen?" Ezekiel asked. "Why, eh?"

"Well, the contract we had him on lasted only until we got to the Final Ten. So he'll be leaving with whoever loses."

"I really had a lot of fun helping out and getting the contests organized," the large teen said to the contestants. "But it's back to the Plaza des Losers and party hard!"

Owen then let out a very loud fart. Ezekiel and Courtney blanched, and both had a very strong desire to stay. The prairie boy managed to smile at her.

"Well, here we are a'geen, eh."

"Um, I beg your pardon?"

"Remember? It was exactly like this the very first day on Total Drama Island, you and me. You look better this time, though."

Courtney remembered that day, with her swollen eye and wearing a chicken hat. "This looks to be just as close."

"Good luck, eh."

"You... you too."

Chris tapped on the metal tray, where a single marshmallow lay. "Okay, you two, it's time for me to announce who goes and who stays!"

Courtney grabbed the collar of her shirt with both hands and squeezed in tension. Ezekiel, who was content with losing before, was now shaking in anticipation, holding onto his toque nervously.

Bridgette was wide-eyed and biting her lower lip. Harold drummed his left fingers on his right knuckles. Eva tapped her foot impatiently. Heather looked indifferent, but her hands, behind her back, were clenched so hard it hurt her.

"Courtney or Ezekiel, who does it go to?" Chris asked in a singsong voice.

"Stop panning it out and hand it to one of them," Heather shouted.

"Jeez, you people get so impatient when you're not the ones in the hot seat," Chris said. "But anyway...

"The final marshmallow of the night... deciding who stays for the Final Ten... between Ezekiel and Courtney... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Ezekiel."

The prairie boy blinked, then caught the marshmallow that was flung at him. "Really, eh?" he sputtered.

"What, you'd think I'd lie?" Chris asked.

Courtney slumped in her seat, letting out a sorrowful sigh. "Guess that's it then," she managed to mutter. "That's all for me. So close too..."

Chef Hatchet handed her her suitcase, and the CIT started towards the Dock of Shame. Bridgette hugged her, and Harold patted her shoulder before she boarded the Boat of Losers alongside Owen.

"Okay, Killer Bass," she called out. "This time, our team will go farther! I'm counting on you to do this!" Ezekiel, Eva, Harold, and Bridgette let out cheers and waved at her as she left.

After the island was out of sight, Courtney collapsed in a seat and choked back a sob. Owen looked at her and patted her shoulder. "We all lose some time."

"I just hate losing," she admitted. "It feels like part of my soul is being ripped away."

"That sounds painful," Owen commented, then he flinched. "Um, Courtney?"

"What, Owen?"

"... You'd better get upwind from me."

Courtney's eyes bulged, and she fled to the front of the boat. But when Owen began farting, it didn't do her any good. She could even taste it in her mouth.

"Gah! Owen! What the hell did you eat for dinner?!"

"Mexican."

"That's what you had for breakfast!"

"It was really good Mexican."

The boat ride continued with no more words after that, just Owen farting and Courtney hacking.

* * *

"And so, you ten are going on to the Final Ten," Chris told the remaining campers. "No one else is being brought back into the contest! It's just you and nine other people getting in the way for you to win ten thousand dollars!"

"Two of uth win, right?" Beth asked.

"Oh yes, that's true. But I didn't know how to work that into the speech," Chris admitted. "Anyway, it's time for you all to get some sleep and such. Please sleep with one eye open, because now, your friends are your enemies!"

The campers exchanged glances, crossing their arms or scowling. Beth, however, didn't join in this as she had another question. "Are the cabins boys and girls again?"

"No, actually, we are going to keep it Screaming Gophers and Killer Bass," the host informed them. "Now please, get some sleep, we beg of you."

The ten campers walked back to their respective cabins, all wondering what the future may hold.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Also going to the Final Ten!)**

 Ezekiel - "Looks like I'm staying! I cannot deny that I am so TOTALLY happy over this, woohoo! Watch 'oot, 'cause here I come, eh!"

Eva - "It's now a simple method of crushing their heads and spines one by one, until I am the only one left alive! ... I mean, participating, sorry. Maybe I'll let Beth win as well, she's nice."

Noah - \reading a book, then looks up at the camera with a smug smile\ "You expected anything less of me?"

Izzy - "Time for me to kick it into high gear! I gotta find that jellybean smuggler, and I gotta win this! Queen Izzy is gonna make herself ten thousand smackeroos!"

Cody - "If I had known being in the Final Ten would mean being with six gorgeous girls, I would have been stoked enough to win every challenge! Woohoo! I love this show so much right now!"

Beth - \performing a little dance, singing off-key\ "I'm in the Final Ten, I'm in the Final Ten, I'm gonna win it all and we'll shave off Heather'sth hair again!"

Harold - "Alright, I made it to the Final Ten this time around! The victory shall go to me! And to someone else too, but me mostly! YES!"

Bridgette - "I actually think I have a good shot at winning it this time around. All I have to do is not be as clumsy, and I can do this! Wooh-" \She kicks her feet up, banging the camera and causing it to lose the picture.\

Heather - \snarling, with her arms crossed\ "This isn't going to be as easy as I want it to be. Especially with Ezekiel being here, I really wish Courtney stayed; she could still be helpful. And Ezekiel will probably try to kiss me again..." \She starts to drift off, looking wistful; she suddenly realizes she's still on camera, and turns her nose up at it.\

Gwen - "And the suck-itude continues." \She sighs, then flips one of her dyed strands of hair.\ "But I keep telling myself, that if not for the sake of the money and victory, but I have to beat Heather." \She grins at the camera.\ "And I beat you, Courtney, because payback's a bi-"

* * *

**(Plaza des Losers)**

Courtney was lying on the dock at the Plaza des Losers, Geoff waving his hat over her face. Owen had had to carry the CIT off the boat after she fainted from the smell of the big guy's flatulence.

"What on earth did you eat?" Justin asked Owen.

"Mexican."

Lindsay shook her head. "Same thing happened to Paula once. She never did get a call back from that guy."

"Stand aside, everyone," Duncan ordered, shoving people away from Courtney. "The only way to revive the sleeping princess... will be a kiss from her prince!"

"You? A prince?" Tyler scoffed as the punk smooched the unconscious CIT. She hacked and coughed, then looked up at Duncan.

"Oh great," she moaned, "out of the bad smell and in with the bad taste."

"That's no way to treat your Prince Charming," he said, helping her to her feet. "I woke you up, now you must reward me."

"Woohoo," Owen cheered loudly, "Duncan's getting to second base tonight!"

Everyone looked at him awkwardly, and the large teen tapped his fingers together. "Errr, sorry, thought it would fit the mood."

Duncan wiggled his unibrow at Courtney, who scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right Duncan. I want to relax now that I'm here."

"You won't be doin' any of that, girlfriend."

Leshawna was standing a short distance from the crowd, and was rolling up her sleeves. "I seem to remember a certain someone conspiring to get me voted off the island, and the same someone almost _crippled my man!!_"

"Um, Duncan?" Courtney whimpered as Leshawna stomped towards her. "What do I do?"

"Quit talking, princess, and RUN!!"

Courtney bolted, Leshawna chasing after her yelling, "Get back here, you tramp! I'm gonna wring your CIT neck, do you hear me?!"

The CIT heard her clearly, which caused her to pick up the pace. She was surprised to see Duncan running alongside her. "What are you doing here, Duncan?"

"Oh, force of habit, she's usually chasing me. Plus," he grinned at her, "you'll need someone to pry her away if she does get hold of you."

"How comforting! Now shut up and run faster!

And with Leshawna chasing Courtney and Duncan, the other nine campers laughed and watched, taking bets on if the plus-sized loudmouth would catch the two conspirators or not.

* * *

**Ezekiel** - Courtney.

**Courtney** - Ezekiel.

**Harold** - Courtney.

**Eva** - Ezekiel.

**Bridgette** - Courtney.

--

Courtney - 3.

Ezekiel - 2.

--

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney.

**Remaining Campers** - Ezekiel, Eva, Noah, Izzy, Cody, Beth, Harold, Bridgette, Heather, Gwen.

* * *

--

--

--

Ayup yup, it was time to let Courtney go. Now she's with Duncan, and you can be assured that whenever we pan back to Plaza des Losers, they will be there with their unique brand of flirting.

We're down to the Final Ten now, so it's time to start cheering for whom you want most to win! The challenges have all been set, and I am so stoked, I think I'll give you all a preview of what's in store for the future:

**Final Ten** - _"Are you saying we're repeating the same challenge that we just did?!" Gwen shouted at Chris, furious at the host's audacity. "Don't you have ANY originality?!"_

**Final Nine** - _"Your prison bars cannot hold me for long, foolish pigs," Izzy screamed as she shook the bars of her cell. "I'll have my revenge once I bust out of here!"_

**Final Eight** -_ Chris held up a piece of paper to the campers in front of him. "You all are going on a little hunt, though it's vague, it's island-wide, and the judges, meaning just me, are picky."_

**Final Seven** -_ "__Hello, camper__," said the mysterious voice from the unseen speaker, "__I want to play a game...__"_

**Final Six** -_ Chef Hatchet strummed on the fake guitar, then he lifted it up over his head and smashed it to pieces on the stage. "Sorry," he apologized, "I always wanted to do that."_

**Final Five** -_ Chris Maclean, smug as ever, smiled at the campers who had been voted off. "Don't think I'm so tricky like last time. This time you have a say in it more consciously... but you're going to have to put up with a little abuse this time around before you vote."_

**Final Four** -_ Joel scratched his head, looking worried. "You know, I really don't think Chris Maclean should use machines that can influence nature. With great power comes great responsibility, and that doesn't involve ratings."_

**The Finals** - _With this day comes the two winners of Total Drama Comeback! You'll be able to cheer for your favorite among the three, so long as the writer hasn't died, been hospitalized, or gets bored with this and never comes back... just kidding! See you then!_


	37. Day 13, Part 1: Open Minded Insanity

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. No'a firin' yur lazors durin' this storee, blargh.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - To all those who got anxious over the previews over the upcoming challenges, goody. Now I see why they do it for TV shows and such in real life. \evil grin\

**Warning** - This episode of TDC contains mild yaoi (boy-boy kissing), mild yuri (girl-girl kissing), cross-dressing (and more than just Chef), lots of references to fake boobs, boy-girl kissing, the usual mild swearing and violence, boogers, and, the thing that makes the most people mad, love.

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback...

We've finally reached the Final Ten! Last time, we had twenty-five challenges prepared by the campers voted off. And boy, were some of them gross! There was barfing, fainting, crashing, kissing, running, panicking, and loads of fun! In the end, the twist I had promised... was a letdown. It ended up as another vote off!

Sucked to be Courtney, who was voted off by her teammates, quite close and hard for some to pick. But hey, she's back with Duncan, and the two are free to do whatever they want! Provided, of course, they survive Leshawna's wrath.

But we're here to support the ten winners! Who are you rooting for? Are you supporting Heather and Ezekiel, or are you like Bridgette in that you want Heather to fall off a very high cliff? And who wants to see more of the campers who were voted off bring about cool revenge on those that so wrongly gave them the boot?

It's time to see if Bridgette, Cody, Ezekiel, Heather, Noah, Eva, Gwen, Harold, Izzy, and Beth have what it takes to stand alone in this contest, and how hard they can push themselves to win the ten thousand dollars at the end of the road... on TOTAL... DRAMA... COMEBACK!!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 37 (Day 13, Part 1)** - Hormones Being Driven Insane

* * *

Breakfast at Camp Wawanakwa brought many things: vomit, diarrhea, green faces, fear of death, loathing, resentment, and how to plan a sneaky escape like Solid Snake would (okay, the last one was just Harold).

Today, though, there was something else: tension. Though the ten campers had never spoke of it, it was in the air that now this was a free-for-all brawl. Most were uncomfortable with this.

Heather had most reason to be nervous. She had no allies, not even Ezekiel would help her if it meant she could be voted off; even though she kept trying to brush this off, it made her stomach dive whenever she thought of it.

Bridgette looked at her friends. Harold, Gwen, Ezekiel, and Beth, four people whom she loved as much as she loved her friends at home. Harold had been her funny friend, Ezekiel had given her support, Beth was her cheery girlfriend, and Gwen was her closest friend of all. It was hard to think about any of them going.

Izzy was worried because the jellybean smuggler was still loose, and possibly dangerous. She had found a few blood red jellybeans in her bed last night, and she knew what that was: a warning. Either that or he was trying to feed her cherry-flavored candies as a bribe, but that wouldn't work; not even cherry-flavored would discourage the redhead.

Gwen hated this island, this challenge, every bit of it. She missed Trent, she missed Leshawna, and she hated having to practically get in a cat fight with Heather every morning for the washrooms. Her only comforts were the sane and kindhearted Bridgette, Beth, and occasionally Cody. Sure, some of the other campers like Harold and Ezekiel weren't too bad, but she was a loner by nature, and she felt most comfortable with less people; that's why less competitors would be better.

Eva wasn't worried. Her tension was her inner battle with her anger, because right now she was thinking of how many different orifices she could shove this breakfast of Chef's into him; none of them were his mouth, and several would be handmade.

"Okay, campers," Chris said, looking at the two tables. "We have some imbalances here, if you all haven't noticed. Four Killer Bass, six Screaming Gophers. Four boys, six girls. Eight soon-to-be-losers, two future winners. Today, we will be scratching another one of you off.

"We'd like you to make a special confession to the Confession Cam before we begin. Give a shout out to who you miss most from the bunch of losers, and say not only how much you want to win this, but you would like to have come in second with you!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to rumble!)**

**Noah** - "Katie baby, I miss you. Never thought I'd say this before in my life, but I miss talking to someone. Especially you, you have that positive, innocent value to you that makes me smile when I think about it; unfortunately, my facial muscles have temporarily died from breakfast. Oh, and if anyone is going to win this alongside me, I guess Cody or Gwen would be tolerable."

**Izzy** - "Owen, I miss you, you big lug! Next time, don't get voted off first, eat the others! Anyway, I'm gonna win this, after I catch that jellybean smuggler. I would love to see Ezekiel win with me, just as soon as he stops hiding from me. Either him, or maybe Cody; he's cute and funny."

**Gwen** - "Trent, Leshawna, I miss you both a lot. The only really sane one here right now is Bridgette, and the tolerably sane." \She chuckles.\ "Oh, and about who else wins besides me in this stupid contest? Anyone but Heather."

**Harold** - "Leshawna, I miss you, my... wait, I had a great nickname for you written down, but I think I smudged it on my hand. Dang! Anyway, I think whoever wins this contest besides me would have to be Bridgette, Izzy, or Eva. They got skills."

**Beth** - \giggling\ "I am THO excited! I cannot wait to see what they have planned! Lindsthay, Leshawna, I mith you both much! I can win thith, justht watch me! And I'm pretty sure Eva or Gwen could win thith too. Or Cody and Zeke could too, they're nice."

**Eva** - \stares for a few seconds, then shrugs\ "... Hey, Justin, hi and all. Anyway, about winning this, yeah, no problem. Still, never know the curves. Well, I think Beth or Bridgette can win this too, I just hope Heather doesn't."

**Cody** - \He clicks his tongue and points at the camera.\ "Ladies, I miss you all! And I miss some of guy pals, like Trent, Owen, and Tyler. After heartbreak and some other lesser pains, I managed to get here! Gwen is so gonna be winning this time, I wouldn't even mind helping her; of course, all the girls do, 'specially Beth and Izzy."

**Bridgette** - "Geoff hon, I miss you terribly; when I finally see you again, wear padding because I'm gonna glomp-hug you so hard! About this contest, I can see most everyone getting far, minus Heather of course. I think Harold, Gwen, or Zeke will get the farthest.

**Ezekiel** - "Tyler dude! Hope you're happily smooching Lindsay and enjoying the plaza, eh! Geoff man, I miss you too, this island gets rather depressing with'oot you making it moo'r of a party, eh. As for winning, meh, I think that's possible, and everyone here has a great chance; probably better than me, eh.

**Heather** - "People at the plaza, all of you blew it one way or another, and now I'm left with little challenge. The arrogant bookworm, the psycho hose-beast, the lisping pig girl, the lanky and wheezy nerd, weird goth girl, the surfer chick, and the wannabe ladies man. The only ones who have skills are Eva and Zeke-san."

\Heather pauses, then realizes what she just said.\ "Wait... did I say that? OH NO! CHRIS! You delete that from the record, I demand it! I don't like that mullet-haired, toque-wearing, pasta-kissing...!! ... Whatever." \She leaves the outhouse.\

* * *

The ten campers stood outside the cafeteria, exchanging glances and chitchat. Chris Maclean looked down them, smiling proudly.

"You know what's great?" he said. "The first three people to be voted off from TDI, Zeke and Eva and Noah, are all here in the Final Ten this time around. Also, we got seven out of the ten who didn't make it to the Final Ten last time either."

"How is any of this relevant?" Noah asked, crossing his arms.

"It isn't, just thought it would be interesting if the viewers hadn't known about it yet."

"That's what Wikipedia is for, Chris," the egghead continued with a roll of his eyes.

"Naw man, you cannot trust them," Harold chimed in. "The page on Total Drama Island changes, like, every day."

Chris Maclean cleared his throat. "Moving along, we are starting the first challenge of the Final Ten, the thirteenth challenge overall! You punks feeling lucky?"

"Bring it on, eh," Ezekiel shouted, pumping his fists into the air.

"I'm gonna murderize all of them," Izzy hollered.

"Let me at 'em," Eva said with a fierce growl in her voice.

"Then get ready for ten new dares today," Chris said, doing a dramatic sweep with his hand, "provided by the contestants you all voted off!"

The campers exchanged glances, and Beth was the first one to ask what was on their minds. "Wait, we're doing dares that the campers who were voted off?"

"Yep!"

"Are you saying we're repeating the same challenge that we just did?!" Gwen shouted at Chris, furious at the host's audacity. "Don't you have ANY originality?!"

"Your words wound me, dear Gwen," Chris said with a smirk, "but they should offend those that have been voted off, because they have ten challenges for you like none other! You all are seriously going to be tested at least one, even those that think they can best any challenge."

Eva cocked an eyebrow. "You throw down the gauntlet fast, Maclean; I like that."

"Thanks, Eva! Now before we begin, I think I should mention the prizes and penalties for this contest!

"If you manage to pass all ten, you get a ride on the romantic cruise ship that we offered from our sixth challenge! You'll return here after the weekend is over-"

"That prize again?" Eva shouted, throwing her fists up in fury. "You know, some of us here are single! What is it with you, do you have stock in that cruise business?"

"No," Chris said, sticking his hands in his pocket. Out of one pocket fell a brochure of the romantic ferry business. "Maybe."

Eva rubbed her forehead, then sighed. Beth raised her hand. "Can you," the farm girl asked, "ask anyone, including thosthe voted off?"

"Indeed you can!"

Beth and Eva exchanged glances. "Okay, farm girl," the muscular girl said, grinning at the shorter girl, "whoever wins gets to ask Justin on that cruise."

"You're on, Eva!"

"As I was saying," Chris exclaimed, waving his hand over his head, "if you win all ten challenges, you also get immunity. If you win nine out of ten, you get immunity but no romantic cruise.

"If you only can complete eight to zero challenges, you are vulnerable to votes. HOWEVER! You all might want to be careful if you get five or less completed. If any amount of campers goes under six victories, the camper who has the least amount of victories is immediately disqualified!"

Chris Maclean wiggled his eyebrows. "So you all might want to complete more than half of your friends' challenges... in today's challenge of... _The Final Ten's Ten Finals_!"

"Cute," Noah remarked, rolling his eyes.

"Are these really hard challenges?" Beth asked.

"Well, why don't you ask the creator of the first one?" Chris Maclean suggested, gesturing to the Dock of Losers. The Boat of Losers was pulling up just then, and a certain party animal leapt off.

"What's happening, dudes?" Geoff hollered, running towards the finalists.

Bridgette gasped, her eyes sparkling in delight. "Geoff? Geoff!"

"That's right, it's me," the party lover declared, standing in front of the finalists. "And my challenge is... AWK!"

A blond-and-blue blur suddenly glomp-hugged him, knocking him off his feet and sending him skidding across the grass. "I missed you _so_ much!"

"I missed you too, babe, but... mmmph!"

Bridgette started kissing him, and she wasn't holding back. Geoff immediately forgot what he had come back to the island for, and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend.

"Oh my," Gwen commented, her eyes wide. "Wow. She really did miss him."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to make out!)**

Harold - "Wow. Gosh. Maybe I should do that when and if I get to see Leshawna today? No, no, I could hurt her. Hmmm..."

* * *

It took the combined efforts of Eva, Gwen, and Izzy to pull Bridgette off of Geoff. The surfer chick, red in the face and panting, wiped her lips with her sleeve. "Errr, sorry. Go ahead, Geoff."

"Errr, right," the party animal replied, straightening his lucky hat. "Well, the first challenge of Final Ten's Ten Finals is a classic dare, a dare that makes people stare! Who wants to see some underwear?"

The finalists exchanged glances, confused by this. "What on earth are you talking about?" Gwen asked him.

"The first dare is the Underwear Flash," Geoff declared, looking very pleased. He walked over to the cameraman, and patted the top. "See this beauty here?"

"Careful, buddy," the cameraman remarked, "this beauty costs five hundred dollars."

Geoff shuffled away from the expensive gadget. "Well, you see it. So your dare is to flash your underwear, top or bottom for girls, and you win! That easy!"

"You're just doing this because there are more girls than guys," Heather shouted in fury.

"Mmmmmmaaaaaaaybe," Geoff purred, rubbing his chin slyly. "So, who's gonna flash the undies first?"

The campers exchanged glances again, looking nervous and/or upset. The silence was broken with the creak of the Confession Cam's door.

"Did I miss the rules for the first challenge?" Harold asked, peeking out. His pants were pooled at his feet, his briefs exposed to the world.

There was a pause, then Geoff cheered. "Harold wins!" The nerd looked confused, then he realized his pants were down. Cursing, he pulled them up as quick as possible.

Cody, not to be outdone, unbuttoned his pants and dropped them. Flexing as he displayed his briefs, he grinned. "Enjoy the view, ladies! Woo!"

Heather, Eva, and Noah burst out laughing. Izzy scowled at them, then wolf-whistled at Cody. Bridgette and Gwen, to be nice, let out cat calls.

"And the handsome man Cody wins too," Geoff shouted, clapping. "Dudes, this is so much fun! C'mon, people, let's see some more undies!"

Izzy let out a wild shout, then ran in front of every one. She lifted up her green top, exposing her bra to the camera. "Here's second base, boys and girls, enjoy the view!" Pulling her top down and running off, she cackled and howled wildly. The others watched, some startled and some amused.

Gwen sighed, then lifted her gothic top to show off her black bra. Noah, with resentment in every single motion, dropped his pants; he waited with a furious glare on his face until Geoff gave the okay, then he yanked them back up. Ezekiel did the same as Noah, but was smiling in amusement instead.

Heather looked utterly repulsed. "I don't wear a bra with this top, party freak."

"Then you gotta show your panties, girl."

"What?! N... nuh...," Heather began to stammer, then furiously crossed her arms. "I hate you so much right now."

She unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them down slightly, exposing her pink underwear. Most of the campers began to whistle and cheer, as she shouted angrily at them to shut up.

Beth was shivering in fright, looking down at herself. "I...," she muttered, "I cannot do thith. I... I'm too sthcared."

Heather, buttoning her shorts back up, smirked back at the farm girl. "Too bad, pig girl."

The farm girl turned away in shame, as Eva patted her shoulder in comfort. "Looksth like you get Justin," Beth said to her.

Geoff shrugged and offered the short girl a smile. "It's okay, babe, no one's forcing you to do it."

"Yeah, it's fine," Eva said, a rare bit of sympathy on her part. She faced the camera, then lifted up her sports top to reveal her sports bra to the camera.

Bridgette, the last one, giggled nervously as she lifted up her jacket and shirt. Geoff whistled in approval, and she turned a bright red.

"Is that your lucky bra?" Gwen asked the surfer girl with a sly smile.

"No, no it isn't," Bridgette said, still blushing.

"Whoa, Bridgette, you got a lucky bra?" Geoff asked, his face lighting up.

"And the first dare of the Final Ten's Ten Finals is done," Chris announced. "Only one person was unable to complete it! So Geoff will lead you to your next challenge, and then he'll be leaving you in the care of the next ex-camper."

"Aw, c'mon," Bridgette whined, her arm already around Geoff's waist. "Can't Geoff stay with us?"

"No Bridgette, he'll be waiting by the bonfire ceremony area until we're done with all the dares."

"One more kiss?"

"Oh... okay."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to get ready!)**

Gwen - "... And that one last kiss lasted five minutes. That was amazing."

* * *

After pulling Bridgette away from Geoff, and also having to go out and find where Izzy had run off to, the campers were reassembled at the next area. A short distance from the campgrounds, Courtney was standing alone with a pointer in her hands.

"Greetings, finalists," she said pleasantly. "It's time for your second dare."

"How are you and Duncan doing at the plaza, hmmmm?" Harold called out, grinning impishly.

Courtney flushed slightly, then tapped the top of Harold's head with her pointer. "Now now, calm down. Questions later.

"What we are going to do is appeal to all fields of the court, if you catch my drift, hehe. You see, since we are nationally broadcast, and we must be considerate to all manners of people. So today, for your second dare, you are going to have to be open-minded. Thus-"

"Get on with it," Eva growled.

"Yes," Heather shouted, "get on with it!!"

"GET ON WITH IT," Izzy, Noah, and Gwen roared in unison.

Courtney's eye twitched, and she sighed. "You're going to kiss someone of the same gender."

This shocked all of the finalists. "Um, what?" Beth managed to squeak out.

"It's the Yaoi/Yuri Tribute dare," Courtney continued, now grinning wickedly. "Pick your partner, one of the same gender, and give him or her a big smoocho!"

Izzy immediately rushed over to a couple of the boys. "Noah, Cody," she cried out, her wicked grin spreading across her face in record time, "time to appease the fangirls!"

"Oh no no no no," Noah started to chant, his eyes going wide.

"Yes yes yes yes," Izzy chanted back. "It's boy kissing time! Go for it!"

Cody, also looking nervous, shrugged. "Um, okay. Noah? If you're ready."

"Ready for a firing squad moreso," the egghead growled. He shut his eyes tight, leaned towards Cody, and started to pucker up. Cody, wincing, began to pucker up and leaned forward.

"Yes, yes," Izzy purred, her hands up to her mouth, "go on, go on, smooch smooch!"

When they were about an inch apart, Noah's eyes opened slightly. Seeing Cody so close, puckered up and ready to kiss him, he let out a horrified scream. Cody was so badly startled, he screamed too.

Noah ran off, hands up in the air and sprinting like a girl. Cody was knocked back by him during his hasty retreat, and the tech-geek fell on his back on the grassy ground.

"Oh no," Izzy whined, looking very crestfallen. "So many fangirls have been let down."

Ezekiel cocked an eyebrow. "Well, we gotta have one pair of guys do it to be fair, eh," he said. Quite suddenly, he grabbed Harold's collar, pulled the taller boy close, and kissed him on the lips.

Jaws dropped. Gasps went round. Eyes widened, including both Harold's and Ezekiel's. The prairie boy let go and pulled away from the taller boy. "Um, Harold?" he said as he wiped his lips with his sleeve. "No offense, eh, but you could really use some chap stick."

"Well, I was gonna put some on, but you were just too eager to kiss me, idiot," Harold muttered, also wiping his mouth.

Courtney, who was probably the most wide-eyed, shook off her shock. "Um, yeah, so Harold and Ezekiel pass."

Regardless of what just happened between them, Harold and Ezekiel grinned and high-fived. "Too easy," Harold said.

"Yeah, I doo'nt knoo' what was Noah's problem was, eh," Ezekiel commented.

Bridgette and Gwen exchanged glances, amazed by the boys' quick victory. "Well?" the surfer chick asked, smiling.

"Yes, I believe we should."

The two girls pulled each other close and gave each other a big kiss. Cody, Ezekiel, and Harold all made high-pitched whimpers, more wide-eyed and gaping than anyone else had been. When the two girls parted, Cody let out a very happy swoon.

"Okay, you two pass," Courtney said, noticing how pleased the boys looked. "Boys, you can stop staring now."

Bridgette and Gwen exchanged a wink as they stepped away, causing Harold to swoon and fall down. Ezekiel wiped away the blood that had leaked from his nose, and he muttered, "Yeb, ub, who'bs nebst?"

"Me me me," Izzy chanted. "Look out fanboys, Izzy's applying some FAN SERVICE! Wooo!"

She grabbed Beth, and kissed the startled the farm girl before anyone, including Beth, could react. After a few seconds, the redhead parted from the shorter girl. "There, all done!"

Courtney was wide-eyed again. "Um, Izzy?"

"What, longer?" the redhead rolled her eyes and threw up her hands in a fit. "Fine, okay!" She wrapped her arms around Beth and started to kiss her again.

"No, Izzy, it's good," Courtney shouted. "You two pass, you pass!"

Izzy let go of Beth, who fell on her butt. "We did? Oh cool! Hey, Beth, we passed."

"Um, what?" the farm girl asked, flushed and dazed.

Courtney looked over at Heather and Eva, then a wicked grin that was much like Izzy's spread across the CIT's face. "You two are the only ones left. Go for it."

Eva bristled. Heather gasped.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to smooch!)**

Eva - "Aw man. Chris wasn't kidding when he said these challenges would be hard. I could pump about three hundred pounds, wrestle a bear, break a brick with my bare hands... but kiss Heather?! I think I'd rather rip out my eyeballs with a corkscrew."

* * *

Heather glared at Eva, taking her queen bee stance. "You are going to kiss me, you hear that?" she snapped at the fitness buff. "I am not losing this challenge because you are a weakling!"

Eva's eye twitched. "Weakling?" she repeated in a dangerous whisper. "Weakling?! WEAKLING!? I'LL SHOW YOU!!"

She yanked Heather down to her level, and gave the queen bee a very harsh kiss on the lips. Everyone made disgusted grunts and groans as Eva opened one eye and looked over at Courtney.

"Yes yes, you pass," the CIT informed her.

Eva pushed Heather away, so hard that the queen bee was knocked several feet away. Courtney was unable to hold back a giggle at this, then cleared her throat.

"Okay, everyone but Noah and Cody passed this challenge," she said, smiling pleasantly. "That sure was fun, wasn't it? Well, onto your next challenge, and I wish you all the best of luck!"

"Wait, that was kind of one-sided," Heather said as she stood up. "There were more girls than guys, it was pretty unreasonable."

"Well, I thought about that, and the only other guys on the island are Chef and Chris," Courtney replied, cocking an eyebrow with a smug smile. "Want to see them kiss?"

"NO NO NO," the ten campers shouted as loud as they could, "NO NO NO NO NO!!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to advance!)**

Harold - "That was awkward. Not totally unpleasant, though... I mean, I surely have done worse around here."

Beth - \still dazed\ "Oh... oh my gosh."

Bridgette - "Gwen's lipstick has an interesting taste."

Noah - "Damn it all, foiled by one lousy challenge. But then again, nothing could be more humiliating than that."

* * *

Lindsay stood in front of the communal restrooms, beaming at the finalists. "Hiyas, everyone," the blond beauty chirped, happy and bubbly as ever, "I admire you all immensely for making it this far!

"Now's let see! Nick, Bella, Hannah, Erika, Korey, Belinda, Lizzie, Harpo, Greta, and that one guy who's dating Hannah, it's time for your Alternate Makeover!"

"What'sth that?" Bella (Beth) asked.

"I'm gonna make you all look so much more pretty, make you all over," Lindsay said with a happy squeal.

"That doesn't sound too bad," Korey (Cody) remarked.

"As someone of the opposite gender!"

Eyes bulged. Jaws dropped. Palms hit foreheads.

"This," Noah grumbled, "is getting to be the worst day ever created."

"Who's ready for a saloon treatment?" Lindsay chimed, holding up blusher and lipstick.

* * *

Ezekiel smacked his lips, which were coated in cherry lip gloss. "The shorts are a little tight," he said, looking down at his new short shorts, "but the black stockings are up to my thighs, it feels awkward."

Eva flipped her ponytail, which was fashioned into a more masculine manner. She cracked her knuckles, and looked down at her new top, which sported no sleeves. "I don't think she put a lot of effort on me, and yet, I'm quite okay with that."

Noah looked down at his chest, which was now puffed up in a girly way, so to speak. "Well, I hate these shorts, the knee-high socks are ridiculous, and I don't know why I'm the only one with fake DD boobs!"

Izzy cackled. "You make them look good!" She was wearing green shorts, a minimal green wrap over her breasts, and her red hair was tucked under a boyish hair wig. A green headband kept the wig on.

Cody looked down at his legs, which were no longer covered because he was wearing a knee-long skirt. "Well, I got the legs for this, and the hair extensions don't hurt like I thought they would."

Beth nervously fidgeted with her hair, her ponytail gone. She was wearing green overalls, and a pink and green shirt. "I'm not sthure I like wearing overallsth."

"I don't like belly shirts," Harold remarked, looking down at himself. Lindsay had managed to find a shirt just like his, except it exposed his belly and shoulders. He nervously blinked because the eye shadow was itching. "And I think I may be allergic to this stuff."

"That stuff always irritates peoples' eyes. And they wonder why I don't like make-up," Bridgette remarked. She was wearing boys jeans, a short-sleeved jacket, and her hair was done in a boyish ponytail. "Still, I gotta admit, she did a lovely job with you, Heather."

Heather glared at Bridgette something fierce. The queen bee's make-up was all gone, replaced with some fake stubble on her cheeks. She was wearing a tight magenta shirt with no sleeves, khaki slacks, and she was wearing a wig that was the most manly haircut possible. "Shut up."

Gwen smirked, her eyes twinkling but only one showing. Her other one was hidden by green bangs, and a black beanie topped her head. She was wearing a gothic green-and-blue shirt, a black vest, a spiked belt, black jeans, and gothic boots. "Yes, Heather, you look marvelous. The stubble is a good look on you."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Heather shouted.

"You can't kiss Estaban while you have that fake stubble," Lindsay instructed the queen bee. "It'll rub off."

"So, we're done, right?" Noah asked. He pulled on one of his fake boobs, then let it knock against the other, starting a metronome swing. "You humiliated us, you dressed us up, so can we get rid of this stuff?"

"No, Norm, you have to keep it on until you're done with all the challenges," Lindsay instructed him. "And stop knocking your boobs, please, it's unnerving." 

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to cross-dress!)**

Noah - \trying to cross his arms underneath his very large, fake breasts\ "This... is something I'll never live down. Ten thousand bucks is not worth this... but... it's too late to turn back now."

Gwen - \She flips one of her green bangs away from her eye.\ "Oddly enough, this is rather... fun. And Cody looks so cute with that skirt on." \She laughs.\

Cody - "... Is it wrong Gwen's still hot when dressed as a boy?"

Eva - "This is like some kind of weird fetish."

* * *

"Hello," Owen said, desperately trying to hold back laughter, "boys... and... girls! BUA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!"

He fell down, shaking the earth, kicking his legs up in the air. Heather snarled and kicked him in the side, but it just made him laugh harder.

Chris dangled a cookie over Owen's nose, and the chunky teen stopped laughing. He snatched the cookie and started munching.

"Yum," he replied, then brushed off his mouth. Izzy hopped onto his back, performed an impressive handstand on his shoulders, lowered herself down and kissed her boyfriend.

"What's the challenge, my big slab of man?" she said with a giggle, sitting in a classic piggy back position.

"Yes, that's right," Owen exclaimed, recovering from the pleasant shock of an upside-down kiss from his girlfriend, "it's time for the fourth challenge in Final Ten's Ten Final! Who's ready?"

The campers exchanged glances, looking worried. Owen noticed this, and cocked his head. "What? Why you look so nervous? Surely whatever I think of cannot be worse than what you've all already done."

Noah shrugged. "True, I guess."

"Except if he wants us to binge on rotten food," Heather remarked.

"Or see who can let out the loudest belch or fart," Harold said.

"Or tell us all to eat laxative and see who stays in the bathroom longest," Eva grumbled.

"Or worse," Beth whimpered.

Owen was writing down on a notepad during this. "Uh-huh, uh-huh. But no, my challenge is nothing like this. You see, I have a great skill I don't think any of you do!"

Whimpers escaped from mouths. Lips were bit in nervousness. Prays of mercy were made.

"Fishing!"

Owen held up a fishing pole. "Fishing for everyone here! You have one hour to catch a fish or any other type of ocean creature!"

He tossed fishing poles to everyone, and then clapped. "It's time for you all to start fishing! And ladies, don't let your make-up run!"

Owen fell down again, hitting the ground as he cackled. The boys dressed as girls rolled their eyes, shrugged, and cast their lines.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to fish for fish!)**

Heather - "I cannot say how immensely relieved I am that Owen picked something sanitary for his challenge."

Bridgette - "While I don't approve of fishing, Owen let me know, after he was done laughing that is, that I can release the fish after I catch it. So no harm done."

Ezekiel - \He is filing his nails, blowing on them occasionally.\ "Sure, it's an interesting dare, but holding a fishing pole so tightly almost ruined my nails, eh. And Lindsay worked hard on these."

* * *

Fishing turned out to be a lot more tedious than most of the campers thought.

Ezekiel was complaining about ruining his nails. Eva started hitting the water with her fishing rod, yelling and swearing at the fish to take the bait. Harold accidentally stuck himself with his fishing hook several times.

Bridgette was actually the first to catch one, a beautiful bass. She tossed it back in the water, wishing it the best of luck; Owen let out a long sigh and muttered, "There goes my lunch."

Noah managed to reel up a small octopus. Ezekiel whimpered at the sight of it, but stood his ground.

"My, how interesting," Noah commented as he held it up. "Looks like I may have a knack for catching sushi."

The octopus sprayed ink at him, splattering his face. The egghead blinked, then looked over at Owen. "Permission to chuck the little dickweed back into the ocean?"

"Sure thing," Owen said, then added, "HAW HAW HAW HAW!"

"Hey guys," Izzy called out. "Look what I caught! Look look look!"

She had, hanging from her fishing line, a great white shark dangling in front of her. The rest of the campers screamed and put as much distance between themselves and the shark as possible.

"That's really cool, Izzy," Owen whimpered, hiding behind Eva, "but you gotta throw it back."

"Phooey."

Gwen caught a small fish, and dropped it down the back of Heather's shirt. The queen bee let out a scream, and fell into the water. As the campers laughed, she pulled herself back onto the dock.

After a second of letting herself drip, she let out a startled cry. She strained, then she pulled a small fish out of her pocket.

"Ooo, you managed to catch a fish without using your rod," Owen said, marveling at Heather. "Good job!"

Gwen slapped her forehead. "Well, that was rather stupid of me," she grumbled, then looked over at her friends. "Don't hate me for that."

"The prank wath worth it," Beth said with a grin.

"Ub, I'b obay wid ib," Ezekiel strained to say, holding his bloody nose shut. Gwen quirked an eyebrow, then noticed he was staring at Heather. The ravenhair's breasts was perfectly outlined under the tight male shirt, and her nipples were hardened from the cold.

"Zeke, you're a girl now, remember?" Gwen said to him, crossing her arms. "That's just weird."

"I knoo', I'b terreb'blee ashamed with mybelf, eh."

Bridgette saw all this. She bit her finger nervously, looking to the side.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to scheme!)**

Bridgette - "Okay, _now_ I'm seriously worried! Ezekiel is falling for Heather, I can see it! I cannot let him do that, she would hurt him so much! I hate to say it... but I'm going to have to be a bit of a schemer."

* * *

When the fishing contest was over, most of the campers had caught a fish. Only Eva and Beth had failed to do so, and the two girls hung their heads in shame.

"Too bad neither of uth get to asthk out Justin now," Beth muttered.

"Yeah, this sucks more than fishing does normally," Eva remarked.

Cody patted Beth's shoulder. "You can always get another shot in the future, Beth. After all, Chris seems to own stock in that ferry business."

"Thanksth, Cody," the farm girl said, then giggled. "You know, I might have asked you out on that cruise."

Cody blushed, fidgeting nervously with his skirt. "Um, really?"

"Yeah, but I don't date girlsth."

The tech-geek, fitness buff, and farm girl burst out laughing. They followed Owen, who was leading them to the next challenge.

Bridgette slung her arm around Ezekiel, smiling at him rather coyly. "You weren't so bad at fishing, home school. Ever have any practice?"

"No, not really," he replied, still cleaning the blood away from his nose with tissues.

"You know, my friend Sabrina loves to fish," she said, ever-so-subtlely. "I don't care much for it, but she loves to spend the time at the docks; she loves to listen to music or read as she does so."

"Interesting, eh," Ezekiel said, then he blinked. "Wait, wasn't Sabrina the one who fancied my accent?"

"Yep! She once told me that she could spend hours listening to it."

"Oh my," Ezekiel flushed slightly. "But I'm not much of a talker, eh."

As Bridgette and Ezekiel continued to chat, Heather watched them from behind. "What's that blond tramp trying to do?" she asked herself.

"Keep him away from you," Gwen replied, elbowing Heather out of the way. "Bridgette knows nice girls like Zeke should stay away from bad men like you."

"Get bent, weird goth... guy!"

"Oh, I'm so mortally wounded."

* * *

Owen led them to the stage, which had the curtains closed. He walked off with a wave and a fart.

"He needs to see a doctor about that," Cody remarked, pinching his nose shut.

"Especially since he's around the ladies," Harold replied, shaking his head.

"Gardenia loves to be around boys, and she likes intelligent boys too," Bridgette was telling Ezekiel. "And she's a bit of a coffee addict too. You like coffee, right?"

"Well, kinda, but-"

They were interrupted when the curtain was flung open, and Katie and Sadie strutted out. "Hi, guys," they chimed in unison.

"Noah," Katie added, and flung herself off the stage at her boyfriend. The egghead was barely able to let out a cry of surprise before she hit him, knocking them down to the ground (rather painfully for him).

"Ow," he whimpered.

"Sorry about that," Katie said. "But wow, your boobs cushioned my fall!"

"So glad my new look had benefited us both."

Eva snickered. "So then, twin girls, what's the challenge?"

Sadie giggled and clapped her hands. "Well, we call it the Mesmerizing Peep Show!"

The campers who did not have a girlfriend lying on them looked nervous by this. "What," Cody dared to ask, "are we peeping on?"

"Oh, you'll find out," Katie said. "Only one of you is allowed behind the curtain at a time. Behind there is something so startling that you have five seconds to look away before you fail the dare. You all ready?"

Noah's eyes widened. "Oh, it's Justin, isn't it?" he got up, helping Katie up as well. A determined scowl spread across his face. "I'll show that anti-me he's not all that a bag of potato chips!"

"You actually use that quote, dude?" Harold asked.

"Well, when you got Valley Girl boobs, the mood fits."

Noah stormed behind the curtain, throwing it back. There was Justin, shirtless and soaking wet, one of the most beautiful, gorgeous sights a mortal could lay eyes on.

Sadie stood next to him, holding a stopwatch and giggling. "Five seconds, Noah," she reminded him.

"Oh tosh," Noah said, turning up his nose and closing his eyes. "Piffery. Mummypots."

"Wha-da-wha?" Sadie stammered, looking confused.

"Never mind, Sadie, he looked away," Justin said with a shrug. "Not bad, Noah."

"Yeah, it's hard to see how us guys will have trouble with this," the egghead countered.

"You're the one with double-Ds, dude."

"Don't talk about my boobs," Noah snapped before storming out.

Justin and Sadie exchanged looks. "He seems awfully mean to be dating Katie," Justin commented.

"It's a ying-yang thing, really," Sadie replied. "I hope she spreads some of that Katie-niceness onto him."

"Gonna need a lot of Katie-niceness."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to ogle!)**

Noah - "Yeah, you all might think of me as a homophobic jerk right now. Not wanting to kiss Cody, hating to dress up as a girl, looking away from Justin. Well people, there are limits to showing how 'open-minded' you are, and these aren't within them, damn it!"

* * *

Eva was unable to look away from Justin when she walked backstage. She stood there, gaping mouth and long-winded swoon on her breath. When Sadie tried to pull the fitness buff back out, the muscular girl shoved the larger girl away with one push. Justin had to ask Eva to leave, and she did as she was told; when she walked back out onto the stage, she slapped her forehead and cursed herself something awful and unrepeatable here.

Cody managed to look away. He blushed when Sadie whistled at him, and told him how cute his skirt was.

Gwen gaped when she saw Justin, and began to shake as her mind was screaming at her to look away, while her hormones were screaming to continue gazing. She managed to tear herself away from looking milliseconds before the fifth second ticked by.

Heather was transfixed when she saw Justin; however, when the male model saw Heather with smeared, fake stubble on her face, he shouted and flinched. She turned her nose up in an almost-instinctual habit, and succeeded in the dare.

Izzy was glaring at Justin when she saw him, but this led to her downfall, as she was glaring for more than five seconds. Cursing at him, she stomped out as Justin insisted to Sadie, "I never dated her, I don't know why she keeps saying that!"

Ezekiel was almost hypnotized by the sight of a shirtless, wet Justin. He smacked himself forcefully with the last of his willpower, managing to look away with his own blow. When Justin and Sadie congratulated him, he asked if he had smeared his make-up.

Bridgette swallowed nervously as she stared at the gorgeous man. When he winked at her, she swooned and looked up at the sky dreamily, which counted as the same as looking away from him. With a mutter of, "Don't tell Geoff, please o' please," she quickly ran away.

Harold took one look at Justin, and looked away with a finger in his nose. Sadie let out a loud, "Ewwwwww," as Justin burst out laughing. "You men and gross humor, you're all alike," she remarked.

Beth took a deep breath as she saw Justin, and was surprised when the male model looked at her sheepishly. "Wh-what?" the farm girl asked.

"Nothing, it's just that," Justin said, shrugging his wonderful shoulders and looking away bashfully, "you look really cute in those overalls."

Beth swooned and fell over backwards in a faint. As Justin went to wake her, Sadie shook her head. "Poor girl, if she had done that one second earlier, she would have passed."

Katie was kissing Noah out on the stage, trying to get close but it wasn't easy with Noah's large, fake breasts. "Shame we don't get that romantic cruise again," she said.

Noah sighed, then shrugged. "I doubt I'd be allowed on with this carryon luggage," he said as he bumped her with his fake boobs accidentally, trying to hold her closer.

She giggled and kissed him again. Beth was being led out by Sadie and Justin, the male model putting on a shirt.

"Hey, Beth, you okay?" Cody asked. "You're awfully red in the face."

The farm girl let out a happy sigh, then nodded. "I'm great, really I am."

"Lucky girl got complimented by Justin," Sadie said, giggling. "I'd die for a compliment, you know."

"I've always said you were a great swimmer, Sadie," the male model pointed out. The larger BFFF swooned and fainted.

Cody waved a hand in front of Beth's happy face, and didn't get a reaction. He let out a crestfallen sigh, which Gwen noticed from her uncovered eye.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to ogle!)**

Cody - \crossing his legs as she faces the camera\ "Why does every girl I like have to fall for someone cooler, hunkier, and more talented?"

Gwen - "Man, I was really hoping Beth and Cody would hit it off. But then again, Justin is kind of like a flash in the pan, there is hope!"

* * *

Katie clapped her hands, catching the attention of everyone. When all eyes were on her, she announced, "As much as I'd love to spend more time with Noah and you all... I gotta revive Sadie!"

She leapt to the side of her best friend, waving a hand over her face. Justin watched for a second, then turned to the campers.

"It's time to head back to the campground, where more of the challenges await," he informed them. "And I gotta say, the next one may be rough on some of you. Hope you're prepared!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Let's get ready to cliffhanger the crowd!)**

**Harold** - "Um, when did Justin start talking?"

**Noah** - "Yeah, my reunion would have been better if I didn't have _these_ blocking the way!" \He swats the fake boobs, and sighs.\ "I'll never find a girl with extra-large boobs attractive again, these things are giving me back pain."

**Izzy** - "Izzy hates Justin, he ruined everything! I wish he was the jellybean smuggler, but there's no way he could have delivered the threatening beans last night."

**Cody** - \glumly resting his head on a hand\ "So much for a romantic cruise. Then again, who could I take? Beth's swooning over Justin, and Eva would probably kill me."

**Heather** - "Bridgette is up to something, and I'm going to find out what. She's not going to keep me away from Ezekiel. ... Not that I like him, I just need an ally! Honest!"

**Bridgette** - "I am not, repeat _not_, letting a spoiled, rich girl hurt another of my friends! I just have to keep Zeke's mind elsewhere for the time being. I don't think anyone suspects me of anything right now, 'cause I'm playing as subtle as possible."

**Ezekiel** - \tapping his chin\ "I'm pretty sure Bridgette is woo'ried I'm really attracted to Heather, who wants to use me as an ally, eh. Though Bridge's friends do sound really nice..."

**Beth** - \swoons\ "Justhin likesth me! I didn't think it wath pothible..." \She drifts off, then looks worried.\ "Oh... but Cody... oh dear, what do I do? ... Wait, am I actually consthidering two guysth are anxiousth to date _me_?" \She laughs, then sighs.\

**Gwen** - "So, it's either Justin or Cody for Beth, then. Never thought I'd be involved in another love triangle. This sounds more like Bridgette's work, but she's too busy trying to distract Zeke so he doesn't fall for the rich witch."

**Eva** - "How can these people think of relationships at a time like this? There are still five challenges, and I've done crappy so far! These are harder than I thought they would be, damn it. I should never taunt Chris, he doesn't fight fair."

* * *

Chris took a deep breath as he stood outside the cafeteria. "How you holding out over there, Duncan?"

"Fine, Chris," the punk replied as he cleaned his nails with his switchblade.

"How about you two?" Chris called out to DJ and Trent, who were sitting at a table in the middle of the campgrounds.

"Fine, really," Trent called back. "It's not like we're waiting for an enemy attack or anything, Chris, why do you keep checking up on us?"

"Sorry, just a little worried about some of the upcoming challenges," Chris said, shrugging his shoulders. "Some of these might get ugly."

"Which is good for ratings," DJ muttered under his breath. Trent had heard him, and nodded.

"Still makes me think though," Chris said, tapping his chin. "I mean, of those cross-dressing, spit-swapping campers...

"**Who is going to lose this? Elizabeth, Evan, Noel, Rizzo, Colette, Bart, Harmony, Brandon, Hector, or Greg?**"

"**I wonder**," Duncan mused aloud, "**if any of them are going to win the romantic cruise prize?**"

"**Well, I'm more concerned about the romantic struggles, to be honest**," Trent admitted. "**What's going to happen between Beth, Cody, and Justin? And is Bridgette going to keep Ezekiel away from Heather?**"

"**None of those questions are as puzzling**," DJ remarked, quirking an eyebrow, "**as to why you all are summing up the day's events so far?**"

"Force of habit," Chris admitted. "You never know when commercial breaks may start."

* * *

**Part 2 approaching, we really mean it.**

* * *

--

--

--

Okay, I'd better make a quick comment for all the Cody x Beth fans out there. I keep repeating myself, _nothing_ is official yet. And if you aren't a fan of that pairing, it's the same message to you.

Now with half of the campers having failed at least one challenge, things might get more interesting. What's in store from Trent, DJ, Duncan, Chris, Leshawna, and Tyler? You'll find out eventually!

The Score:

**5 Points (out of 10)** - Ezekiel, Harold, Bridgette, Heather, Gwen.

**4 Points** **(out of 10)** - Noah, Izzy, Cody.

**3 Points**** (out of 10) **- Eva.

**2 Poi****nts (out of 10) **- Beth.


	38. Day 13, Part 2: Generic Funny Title Here

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. No'a firin' yur lazors durin' this storee, blargh.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - I notice a lot of you have strong feelings about Heather and Ezekiel. Boy, that's where the drama comes in! \evil laughter\ I'm such a dastardly kobold.

**Warning** - This episode of TDC contains mild yaoi (boy-boy kissing), mild yuri (girl-girl kissing), cross-dressing (and more than just Chef), lots of references to fake boobs, boy-girl kissing, the usual mild swearing and violence, boogers, and, the thing that makes the most people mad, love.

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 38 (Day 13, Part 2)** - If You're Starting With This Chapter, Things Aren't Going To Make Any Bloody Sense

* * *

"Let go of Trent, Gwen."

"I'd love to see you try."

Chris rolled his eyes. He didn't bother moving from the cafeteria door, and he couldn't call Chef for muscular power; that would ruin his plans.

DJ felt guilty for being the one who had to break up the happy moment. He turned away from Trent and Gwen, who were snuggle-hugging, and looked at the other nine campers.

"My man Trent and I had the same idea, so we decided to host it together," he explained it to them. "Some of you guys are doing great, some of you might want to make sure you pass this. 'Cause I'm telling you right now, Duncan's and Chris's challenges are next, and both of them are brutal."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I've got a bloody song stuck in my head!)**

Cody - "How terribly foreboding."

Eva - "My current score of three out of five is shameful. I won't let myself lose one more."

Beth - \She nervously twiddles her fingers.\ "I gotta make three more challenges. Thith ithn't looking good."

Gwen - \She is in the Confession Cam with Trent, making out. She remembers the camera is there and gives it a hard kick, leaving the viewers in static.\

Izzy - \shrugs\ "What could Trent and DJ think of that's cruel? I don't think there's a mean bone in their body. Maybe they could have one surgically added."

* * *

DJ gestured on the table he and Trent had been sitting at, which now had ten one-liter bottles of soda. "Who's good at chugging?"

Harold punched his fist. "Awww, this is cakewalk! I've done two-liter bottles!"

The large football player shook a finger at Harold. "Yes, Harold, but what if one of these ten bottles of soda had been strained through one of my gym socks?"

Eyes went wide. Jaws dropped, as did a few stomachs.

"And I hadn't washed that sock in some time."

Throats clenched. Hearts thumped. Minds spun.

"And Trent really had to squeeze to get the last bit of soda out. My foot was rather sweaty after doing a few laps around Plaza des Losers."

The horrified workouts of heart and mind continued for the ten campers. "Oh, that's just great," Heather shouted, "It's like Russian Roulette but with bad soda."

"We call it Stench Your Thirst," Trent informed the campers. "Who wants to be first?"

He had barely said those words when Izzy grabbed one and guzzled it down. "Has to be all in one go, Izzy," DJ informed her, but the redhead didn't need to be told, for she had it all down in a couple seconds.

The other nine campers grabbed onto one each, nervously exchanging glances. "So, just chug it down in one go, don't spit it out, and we win?" Cody asked.

"Yep," Trent said, giving him a thumbs-up. "And if you manage to keep down DJ's sweat sock soda, then major kudos to you."

The campers swallowed, then cocked their heads back and started to chug down the sodas. Noah immediately spit-taked his out, almost screaming as he sprayed Eva. With a pained whimper, he fell on all fours and gagged, spitting.

All the other campers had no problem chugging down a liter of soda, though Beth and Cody almost didn't make it; the two had tears from the terrible strain of doing it all in one go.

DJ and Trent clapped, while the football player helped Noah get back up on his feet. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Trent asked them.

Harold pumped his fists into the air. "That was fun! Woohoo!"

"Shut up," Noah grumbled, wiping his mouth with grass because nothing else was around. "That tasted like death, a slow and played-out death, one that, for a brief moment, I wished I had died."

"Wish you had let me know," Eva remarked, grinning wickedly.

Trent and DJ, with Gwen happily leaning against the musician, walked over to the communal restrooms. Bridgette was next to Ezekiel, leading him away from Heather as they walked.

"You know, my friend Dawn is a really cute girl," she told him, smiling pleasantly. "She's a little scatterbrained, but she's a real quick learner when she puts her mind to it."

"How long have you knoo'n her, eh?" Ezekiel asked, trying to make small talk.

"Several years. She's never had a boyfriend before, but she's earnest!"

Heather watched Bridgette and Ezekiel, suspicion all over her face. She didn't like what was going on, and she wasn't sure what the surfer chick was doing.

She would have to wait, because the group had reached the communal restrooms. Duncan, juggling his pocket knife with one hand, eyed them as they came over.

"Looks like bookworm was the one to get your sock drink?" the punk asked them.

"Looks like the heavy metal reject is right outside his mother's house," Noah retorted, "and we're gonna throw a party."

"Nice cracks, Mrs. Double-Ds," Duncan replied, "and boy oh boy, you're going to hate me more than ever after you learn my challenge."

Noah put his hands on his hips. "You're all talk, street gang of one."

Eva smirked. "It's so cute to see you two flirt. Can we get to the challenge now?"

Duncan and Noah grimaced at Eva, then the punk cleared his throat. "Let me explain the challenge then, you pack of smart alecks. There are ten stalls in the communal restrooms. There are ten scrub brushes, ten buckets with cleaning solvent and water, and ten of you.

"You're going to be cleaning a stall each. You puke or you don't want to do it anymore, you lose. Have fun."

The ten campers blanched, making all kinds of disgusted and/or nervous gestures and noises. Only Eva looked unimpressed.

"Cleaning a toilet, big deal," she remarked. "Is that the hardest challenge you can make, metal face?"

"Oh, it's a little like Trent and DJ's challenge," Duncan remarked, a cruel grin spreading across his face. "You see, all ten of the stalls were used when we all arrived at Wawanakwa Island...

"And one of the stalls was used by Owen."

Some of the campers screamed in terror, some started to turn green; Eva still looked unfazed. She even grinned.

"Now it's a challenge," she remarked.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I don't remember that song's name.)**

Bridgette - "Duncan, you are revolting."

Ezekiel - "Eva, you must be a sadomasochist, eh."

Izzy - "Izzy, you are going to win this contest! Yes, you are!" \She whips out a hand mirror and looks at it.\ "Who's the cat who'd catch a jellybean smuggler and still be in time for dinner? Izzy!"

* * *

The ten campers began scrubbing the toilets. It was hard to do when most of the time, they were pinching their noses shut with one hand.

Heather was turning green. She came close to heaving a few times, but was able to bear it. When she wanted immunity, it was hard to discourage her; she'd have to rely on herself until she could convince someone, namely Ezekiel, to be her ally.

Ezekiel himself was having little problem with cleaning toilets. He had to do it at home on occasion, so this wasn't totally unpleasant.

Noah had been at his for about a few seconds before he let out a frustrated shout and stormed out of the bathroom. "Forget your masochistic, bathroom humor, you two-bit criminal," he grumbled, "I refuse to clean your porcelain throne."

Bridgette, after several minutes, couldn't stand the smell. She ran out of the stall, gagged, and then she threw up in the middle of the communal washrooms.

"Too bad, surfer chick," Heather said as she exited, rudely bumping against her. "You puke more often than an infant, you know that?"

Gwen soaked a handful of toilet paper, then chucked it at Heather. It splashed against her hair, and she screamed, running out of the washroom thrashing.

The campers, save for Noah and Bridgette, were able to clean their toilets. Beth and Harold looked the most sick out of those that succeeded. Eva, as usual, looked unfazed.

"Man, what fazes you, woman?" Duncan replied, staring at her in amazement. "I mean, you even cleaned the stall Owen used!"

Eva smirked, crossing her arms. "One thing you should know about me is that I refuse to carry on down Loser Road."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I don't remember who sung it either.)**

Beth - "Eva's remarkable. I wish I had her toughneth."

Gwen - "Eva's insane. She should hire out as a wrecking ball."

Izzy - "Eva is like Izzy: Unstoppable Force! One day, we will collide, and then we'll see who's the more unstoppable of Unstoppables!"

* * *

Duncan led the ten campers to the cafeteria, looking slightly let down. "Only two of you were disqualified," he explained to them. "I was really hoping for more."

"Yeah, Justin managed to disqualify more people by taking off his shirt," Izzy remarked. "Maybe if you did that?"

"So Duncan taking off his shirt would make more of us hurl?" Harold asked. He and Cody laughed then high-fived.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up, nerds," Duncan replied. "But you won't be laughing when you hear Chris's challenge!"

The host, leaning against the cafeteria door, smirked evilly. "Right, my good ol' mohawk-wearing friend. Because today, you're getting revenge on Chef Hatchet for the God-awful cooking he's fed you."

Some of the campers, like Noah, Eva, and Izzy, let out wild cheers. "Let's beat him with an ugly stick," Izzy shouted.

"No, he's already ugly," Noah remarked. "Let's get a stick and beat him with it, make our own ugly stick."

Chris chuckled. "Seems like some of you have some repressed rage. Now I want you go in there, and kick his butt!"

Noah, Izzy, and Eva let out loud cheers again. Harold was more hesitant than that. "Wait, do you mean that figuratively or literally?"

"Literally," Chris said. "Your challenge, Kick the Cook, is to kick Chef Hatchet in the butt."

This made some of the campers, even formally excited Noah, lock up in fright. "Kick... Chef's... butt?" he repeated.

"Yep! Who's first?"

* * *

**(After a fair, unbiased method of picking one poor soul...)**

Beth walked into the cafeteria very slowly, swallowing hard. "I hate rock-paper-sthithors," she whispered, "I alwaysth lose."

She tiptoed into the kitchen, where Chef Hatchet was cutting bananas. If Beth felt guilty about kicking Chef in the butt beforehand, it was all gone when she saw him blend the bananas with the peels on.

With terror in her heart, she walked up behind him. Squeaking in terror, she cocked her foot and gave him a kick in the butt. Turning to run for her life, she bolted for the door.

"Beth?"

She froze when Chef Hatchet looked over at her, looking confused. "What're you doing here, short girl?"

"Umm... uhhh...," she whimpered, tapping her fingers together.

"Chris put you up to this?" the large cook asked, glaring at her now. "Wonder what that pretty boy was thinking. Oh well, get out, and never grace my kitchen again."

"Yeth thir," she shouted, running as fast as her little legs could take her. She burst out of the cafeteria, panting hard.

"Well done, Beth," Chris congratulated her. "Saw it all through a spy cam."

"He didn't even notice you kicked his butt," Gwen said in-between laughs.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I don't even remember any of the lyrics.)**

Ezekiel - "I really doo'nt want to do this, 'cause I like Chef a little. I think he's mad because his inability to cook hurts him deep down. Still... it'd be fun to give him a boot to the toosh, eh!"

Heather - "If it wasn't for the fact that I have to do the kicking, this would be like a wish come true for me."

Bridgette - "Normally I would be against this kind of violence... but I re-tasted breakfast in the communal washrooms back there. Now I'm mad."

* * *

Izzy was next, and she gave Chef a quick kick in the butt. The cook was so startled that he didn't even notice the redhead escape.

Cody slipped in through the back door, and kicked Chef's butt when he was looking for the first offender. The cook ran into the side of the door when chasing the tech-geek and fell to the ground in a daze.

Noah and Harold both took the opportunity to punt Chef's butt while he was on the floor. The large man groggily stood up on his feet, only to be clubbed hard on the head.

Eva stood there, grinning and holding the hardest thing she could have found in Chef Hatchet's kitchen: a loaf of French bread. She dropped the loaf on the floor, where it clanged on the floor and rolled away.

"It's time for pay back, Chef Retching," she said, grinning. She kicked him in the butt once, twice, thrice, and then she began to lose count.

"Eva," Ezekiel shouted, gripping her shoulders and pulling her back. "Eva, Eva stop it, he'll be able to recognize your sneaker tread, eh!"

The fitness buff let out a long sigh, then dusted off her hands. "Well, that'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget."

"Um, except that," the prairie boy pointed out, "no one has said that this was in revenge for his cooking, eh."

"Oh. Well, still, it's fun."

Ezekiel kicked the unconscious cook's butt. "I guess it kind of is."

With Chef Hatchet now in Lala Land, it was easy for Bridgette, Heather, and Gwen to kick his butt. Chris was on his knees, clutching his sides and laughing so hard that he could barely breathe.

"Okay okay, we've had our fun," the host managed to say when his laughter died down. "And truth be told, I'm glad you all passed."

"You think he's _still _mad a'boot the time Chef Hatchet bound and gagged him," Ezekiel asked Bridgette, "and left him in the Confessional Cam?"

"Possibly."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We know we'd be.)**

**Gwen** - "That was the most fun..."

**Izzy** - "... that I've had in the longest time..."

**Eva** - "... and I cannot get over how good that felt!"

**Harold** - "Serves him right for those breakfasts with black eggs and green ham..."

**Bridgette** - "... the sandwiches for lunch that have a coat of mold and spider webs..."

**Cody** - "... and the dinners that cannot be picked up with a fork despite being meat!"

**Noah** - "Food on the plate should never move."

**Ezekiel** - "Boy, I think Chef Hatchet just got his worst review ever, eh."

**Beth** - "Doeth it make me a bad persthon that I don't feel guilty over that?"

**Heather** - "If I ever had the chance to do the same again, I would!"

**Chef Hatchet** - \crying like a baby\ "Boo hoo hoo! Boo hooo hooo hooooo!"

* * *

"What's up, y'all?" Leshawna asked the group as Chris led them to her table nearby the campgrounds. "Doing alright, or you tripping?"

"Leshawna babe," Harold declared, and he ran towards her. She grinned and stood up, arms ready to catch him, but he never arrived; he accidentally tripped on a rock, and fell flat on his face in front of her.

"... Doh," he remarked as he lay there, too embarrassed to move. "I feel like a complete idiot now."

"Get up, baby, I'm not letting you face-plant while I have a challenge to explain to the fools and cool ones here."

She turned towards the campers. "Alright, this is the one challenge that proves which of you is really tough. Which of you is as headstrong as you claim to be!"

The loudmouth sister lifted up a grocery bag and emptied the contents on the table she was sitting in front of. Out spilled ten apples, fresh and bright red.

"Wow, those look good," Bridgette commented, licking her lips.

"I love apples, eh," Ezekiel declared, clasping his hands. "I can make a really good apple pie, if you provide the apples."

"You cook?" Heather asked, looking dubiously at him.

"Ah, just like Gardenia," Bridgette said, slinging her arm around Ezekiel and practically yanking him away from Heather. "She's a good cook too, and she likes men who can cook."

The queen bee glared at the surfer chick, and she glared right back; Ezekiel felt like he was trapped in the middle of a battlefield.

"Bridgette? Girlfriend?" Leshawna called out to her. "As much as I'd love to see you kick that harpy's pasty butt, now's not the time.

"The time is for Apple Head-Crush! You each take an apple, and smash it against your forehead! All you need to do is take an apple and smash it against your forehead."

"That sounds...," Cody whimpered, "rather painful."

"You don't have to splatter the apple, short stuff," Leshawna informed him. "Just get part of it to break off. You only get one head bash, so make it your best."

"Is this even possible?" Heather shouted, looking more furious now. "You only made this challenge for fat heads like you!"

Before the large sister could react, Harold was in front of Heather. He grabbed her hand, then clenched one of her fingers with his ring finger and thumb. Glaring at her, he lifted his pinky as threateningly as you can raise a pinky.

"Care to insult my girlfriend again, Heather?" he hissed, his grasp tight and pinky at the ready.

"Oh dear oh dear," Cody whimpered, his knuckles up to his mouth. "We'd better hope he doesn't flex his pinky."

"Wow, the nerd knows that hold?" Eva asked, her eyebrows raised in awe. "Impressive, most impressive."

Heather didn't know what this was about, but she didn't like it. "Okay okay," she grumbled, "I won't make any more quips."

"Good!" He let go of her finger and backed up.

Leshawna was resting her head against her hand, a dreamy look on her face. "Ohhh, that's my man, yo."

Eva, impressed but not about to be upstaged, grabbed one of the apples off the table and smashed it against her forehead. It practically exploded, leaving an apple juicy stain there.

"Woo, way to go, girl," Leshawna cheered.

Cody let out a cheer for the fitness buff, and grabbed an apple himself. He rammed it against his forehead. It didn't break, and the tech-geek let out a dizzy moan, falling to the ground.

"Tough luck, short stuff," the sister called down to him.

Gwen looked at Cody, and swallowed nervously. She grabbed an apple, took a deep breath, and smashed the apple against her forehead. It broke apart, sending apple bits everyone. Woozy but victorious, she lifted her busted apple in the air and cheered.

"That's my girl, my tough as nails white girl," Leshawna cheered, then hugged Gwen.

Izzy grabbed one apple with both hands, and smashed it to pieces against her forehead; she didn't seem dazed at all, but we know how hard it is to tell with Izzy.

Ezekiel slammed an apple against his forehead, crushing it and splattering his toque with apple juice. "How's my make-up, did I smear it?" he asked.

Beth tried, but only gave herself a bruise and a headache. Bridgette tried as well, and almost knocked herself out.

"Bridgette, how many fingers am I holding up, eh?" Ezekiel asked, holding up three fingers.

"Your index finger, your middle finger, and your ring finger?" she muttered. "That makes... four?"

Noah took one look at the apple, looked up as if to study his forehead, then shook his head. "No thanks," he said, waving his hand. "I'll take my chances with the last challenge."

"If you don't pass that one, you could be immediately booted, you egghead," Leshawna pointed out.

"Well, I'm not bashing my brains in. I need them, we eggheads usually do."

Heather glared at Leshawna, taking one of the remaining apples. Taking a deep breath, her eyes never left the sister until she winced to smash the fruit against her forehead. The apple did break and most of the campers were disappointed.

"Harold babe," Leshawna grumbled as she glared daggers at the queen bee, "you're last up."

"Um, Leshawna?" he said, tapping his fingers together. "I'm violently allergic to apples."

The plus-sized sister looked startled, then smacked her forehead. "Damn it, I completely forgot!"

Heather began to laugh. "So, you managed to get your boyfriend to fail one of the challenges. What a shame, guess no romantic cruise for you!"

Leshawna growled, and picked up an apple. "You want me to ram this down your throat, white girl? 'Cuz I'll do it if you say one more-"

She stopped when Harold grabbed the apple from her hand. His hand was pulled into his sleeve, and he looked determined. "Don't worry, Leshawna," he said as he pulled it back. "I can do this! We're going on that cruise!"

He slammed the apple against his forehead with all the strength he could muster. Though apples are generally not as tough as a human skull, this was Harold we are taking into consideration. With a pained whimper, the nerd collapsed on his back unconscious as the apple, in one piece, rolled away.

"Harold," Leshawna shouted and ran over to his side.

"Oh, he killed himself with an apple in the name of love," Izzy wailed. "Like Romeo and Juliet meets Newton!"

Heather was laughing as Leshawna tried to revive Harold. Bridgette, still slightly dazed, moaned and grabbed her forehead, her green eyes narrowing in hatred.

"She's laughing at them," she said, shaking her head. "How can you like her, Zeke? Can't you see why one of my friends would be better?"

"Huh?" was what the prairie boy had to say in response.

"I want to get you hooked up with one of my friends instead," the surfer girl admitted. "They'd be much nicer to you than that bi-"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not subtle, just like Bridgette.)**

Bridgette - "Darn it, I didn't mean to tell him that." \She sighs and shakes her head in shame.\ "He probably thinks I'm as manipulative as Heather now."

Ezekiel - "Oh wow, Bridgette really is a true friend, eh. Trying to hook me with her friends at home..." \He lets out a happy sigh.\

* * *

Bridgette couldn't bring herself to look at Ezekiel as the campers headed for the last challenge. A small but long batting cage had been set up with fishing nets, and a pitching machine was set up at the end. Standing next to it all was Tyler.

"Hey bud'day," Ezekiel shouted, high-fiving the jock. "You doing alright?"

"I'm cool as ever, bra," his friend replied. "Got Lindsay, got the plaza, and now I get to put you all through a little torture of my own. And by the way, Zeke man, those are some really cute stockings."

"What's up with the batting cage, jock boy?" Noah asked. "We gonna in and hit a few, sport-o?"

Tyler grinned, and cracked his knuckles. "Not really. You see, boys and girls, my enthusiasm for sports didn't die after I was voted off after a major game. It was pretty painful, so I thought I'd return the favor.

"Each of you will enter the battle cage, and get ready to dodge twenty baseballs shot from the machine. If you don't fall on the ground, then you win; falling on your knees or butt are okay, but you have to stand up after a few seconds," he said as he gestured towards the batting cage. A cardboard figure of himself was standing up at the end, frozen in a polite wave. "Simple as that."

" 'Simple'?" Heather shouted. "That machine shoots baseballs, you jerk! Do you know how much that would hurt?"

Tyler quirked an eyebrow, then held up a small remote and pressed the red button on it. The machine fired a couple balls, knocking off the arm of the Tyler standup, then decapitating the cardboard Tyler.

"Aw darn," Tyler cursed as the campers gasped in terror, "I wanted to keep that."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Even I, an outhouse, am scared.)**

Noah - "So I refused to smash one hard object against my head, and end up having to risk twenty objects, harder and shot by a machine, being pelted at my oh-so-delicate head? I... hate... my... luck."

* * *

"Okay, Noah and Beth," Tyler said, holding up a clipboard and taking a pencil from behind his ear. "One of you step up."

"Why us first?" Noah asked, looking agitated.

"Because both of you have only five points. If one or both of you fail, we won't have to worry about anyone else, 'cept for the folks aiming for a perfect ten."

The egghead growled, then started for the door to the batting cage. "Wait," Heather cried out, "what's to stop him from just ducking the whole time?"

"The machine aims left, right, up and down too," Tyler informed them, "so he still could get hit if he stays down."

When Noah slammed the door to the batting cage shut, the baseballs shot out almost immediately. He screamed and ducked, and the first two sailed over him. His luck wasn't with him the whole way.

_Pow_! "OWWWW! That better not bruise!"

_Pow_! "Wow... look mommie stars..."

"Gah! Right in the fake boobs!"

_Pow_! "... Oh... there goes... any chance... of Noah Junior..."

"This is why sports aren't my thing! I hate you so much, Tyler!"

Despite all his wailing and getting hit by five of the baseballs, he managed to pass the challenge. The other campers clapped, while Tyler threw him a couple ice packs.

"You're next, Beth," the jock informed her.

The farm girl faired much better, because she stayed ducking. Even when the machine pointed downwards, she was too short to be hit. Still, even after all twenty baseballs had shot over her head, she was still crotched over and shivering.

"Beth, you won," Tyler told her. "Beth? Beth!"

He had to go in and pull her out. The farm girl clung to Gwen, whimpering and crying. "It wath horrible...," she said.

"They didn't even get near you, Beth," the goth girl pointed out.

"I could feel every one of them shooting by me... like methangers of death!"

Tyler tapped his clipboard. "Okay, people. Those with seven points don't have to do this challenge because you cannot win immunity, win or lose. Sorry, Bridgette, Cody, Eva.

"The following campers will compete for either immunity or a perfect ten: Zeke, Heather, Gwen, Harold, and Izzy."

"I doo'nt think Harold can do this, eh," Ezekiel pointed to the unconscious Harold, who was being watched over by Leshawna.

* * *

"Gah! I hate you, Tyler, I hate you so much! Ahh!"

_Pow_! "Oh God... right in the stomach, eh... I'm gonna puke..."

"HAHAHAHA! Is that all you got? Is that all you got?!

_Pow_! "Ow, my leg, damn it! This bruise will take forever to heal! I'm glad I'm wearing pants now!"

_Pow_! "Oh... in the stomach a'geen... ugggggh..."

"Is that all you got?! Is that all you-" _Pow_! "... Ow! Wow, you do got more."

"I hate baseball! I hate America for making it!"

"Does blood come out of clothing, eh? Does puke?"

"You can't catch me, you can't-" _Pow_! "Oh... you caught me!"

"I hope you suffer for this!"

"Whoa... that one came a little close, eh... is my make-up running?"

"Stupid baseball! Hey, that reminds me! Tyler, have you and Lindsay reached second base?"

* * *

Ezekiel, Gwen, and Izzy were seated, leaning their backs against each other. All three had major bruises, some bloody marks, and, in Ezekiel's case, a black eye; he was really upset about that, because his fake eyelash had been crushed.

"Sorry it hurt so much, dudes," Tyler said to them, "but you know, you three had a habit of jumping into the pathway of the baseballs!"

"Gonna... kill... you," Gwen replied.

"You messed me up right be'fur I got hooked up, eh," Ezekiel complained.

"You people get so touchy," Izzy muttered, "when I ask about your love lives."

Heather scoffed. "Well, watching you guys makes this challenge so much more easy. I'm sure I'm more coordinated that weird goth girl."

As she walked by the camper, she looked over at Bridgette and smirked unpleasantly. She patted Ezekiel's head, ruffled his toque and said, "I'm sure that even though you won the grand prize, you'll accept my offer to invite you on that romantic cruise."

Ezekiel rubbed his sore head where Heather patted him. "Sure Heather, whatev's you say, eh."

Then he added, "Wait, what?" Bridgette gasped, and her hands started to tremble. "No! No no no no..."

She watched as Heather entered the batting cage, shaking in anticipation and dread. Heather immediately began to dodge the baseballs shot at her, and she wasn't getting hit once.

"Those ballet skills she has seem to be coming in handy," Eva commented, shrugging her shoulders. "Not bad."

"Stop rooting for her," Bridgette cried out, gripping her head. "Oh, this is all my fault, I egged her on!"

"Really?" Cody asked, looking surprised. "All I saw was you talking to Ezekiel all day, and she knows you're taken."

"Cody, that's not the point-"

Heather suddenly left out a triumphant laugh. "Ha! I dodged twenty baseballs! Take that, surfer chick, because no one plays this game except-"

She had counted wrong. The last baseball shot and struck her in the temple. She froze, like if the projectile had paralyzed her, then fell to the ground in a heap.

"Ooo, that was really bad," Tyler said, and laughed hard.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Struck in the temple, and you're to blame.)**

Bridgette - "Well... that resolved itself nicely."

Beth - "And because she got nine out of ten, once again, Heather getsth immunity. Even without getting that cruise that she wants, she sthtill managesth to get what she needsth."

Cody - "Okay, I'm so confused about this whole Bridgette-Heather-Ezekiel love triangle thing going on. What am I not getting?"

Eva - "That was rather amusing. Finally, Heather gets hit. Are you all as satisfied as I am, people?"

Tyler - "Hahaha! Who's taking blows to the head because of athletic inferiority _now_, huh? HUH?! HAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

The bonfire ceremony was rather crowded that day. The twelve campers voted off where standing next to Dock of Shame. Chris was at the oil drum, with a very grumpy Chef Hatchet nearby. The ten campers still in the contest were sitting on the stump-like chairs, though Heather, who was goofy and loopy from the blow to the head, was being held up by Ezekiel.

Even the harbor looked crowded. The Boat of Losers was docked as usual, but the very large, very pink, romantic cruise ship was right behind it. It was so pink, guys like Duncan and Noah got slightly queasy looking at it.

Chris cleared his throat, and there was silence. Well, as silent as a roaring bonfire and a blabbering Heather would allow. "Okay campers. The first challenge to the Final Ten is over, and boy, was that fun!

"I mean, you couldn't ask for more! Underwear, kissing, make-up (and by the way, Zeke man, you should use some make-up to cover that black eye)...

"Extreme fishing, hot men, spit takes, puking, butt kicking, random acts of violence upon fruit, and baseball dodging! I think it'll be hard to top today!"

Chef Hatchet let out a guttural growl. "Chris, if I find out you're the one who made that challenge, I am gonna roast you for breakfast tomorrow."

"Can you _please_ get on with this?!" Noah shouted. "I'm covered in ink, make-up, bruises, and I smell like gym socks and a latrine! And these stupid girly shorts are riding up on me, and these stupid, fake boobs are going to snap my spine!"

"You think that's something?" Cody remarked. "This skirt is so short, I don't feel comfortable sitting down at all."

"I hate having my hair like this," Eva grumbled.

Gwen batted at her emo bangs. "Oh I dunno, I enjoyed this part a little. And I'm perfectly okay with saying that, since Heather is now as sentient as a sea cucumber."

"Pwetty bwades of gwass, I wuv you all," Heather cooed as she batted those pwetty bwades of gwass with her fingers, sometimes picking some and eating them.

Chris Maclean chuckled. "Okay then, you boys dressed like girls and girls dressed like boys. First off, the winners of the Final Ten's Ten Finals!"

He picked up four of the nine marshmallows from the plate on the oil drum. "Heather and Izzy, you two barely made it."

Izzy caught hers and held it up high as Heather's bonked against her forehead ("Ooo, pwetty fwuffy thing!")

"Gwen and Ezekiel, you two get the grand prize. Who are you taking, need I ask?"

As the two caught their marshmallows, Gwen grinned mischievously. "Well, I'd hate to ask Trent since he might be uncomfortable going on this romantic cruise with a boy, but he'll have to endure."

"I think I can endure it," Trent said, smiling just as mischievously back at her. She walked over to him and hugged her boyfriend, and the two shared a passionate kiss.

"Woohoo, yaoi," Izzy cheered. "Though... it's... not really yaoi, but I can still cheer! Yay!"

Ezekiel was tapping his foot against the stump he was seated upon, looking up at the sky in thought. With a sigh, he looked at the host of the show. "Hey Chris, is it possible if I give my prize to Bridgette?"

Chris's face lit up as if he had received an incredible gift. "Zeke man, I knew you'd come around!"

He was suddenly standing beside Bridgette and Ezekiel, slinging an arm around them and pulling them close. "I hope you two have a happy cruise together!"

"What?" Ezekiel struggled to say, as Chris practically had him in a choke hold. "No, I doo'nt mean I go with her, eh! I mean she can take the cruise and pick who goes with her!"

Bridgette gasped. "You'd... you'd do that for me?"

"Zeke, man, what about Heather?" Cody asked him.

The prairie boy looked over at the queen bee, who was still lying on the ground. She currently was giggling and trying to fit her marshmallow in her ear.

"Yeah, I can see how she'd be an incredible, romantic date."

Chris let go of Bridgette and Ezekiel, sulking back to the oil drum. "Fine fine," he grumbled. "Have her take Geoff instead of you." He muttered very quietly under his breath, "Another fifty bucks down the drain," which only a couple of the ex-campers managed to hear.

Bridgette was now hugging Ezekiel. "You're such a sweetheart," she cooed. "How can you be so nice to me after I was scheming?"

"You were trying to set me up with your friends, eh," he replied, smiling and blushing slightly. "I doo'nt consider that to be offensive."

"And dude," Geoff called out to him, also looking really happy, "I've met her friends. She really ain't letting you down there!"

"ANYWAY," Chris shouted, looking irritated, "it's time to see which of the six campers who didn't pass the challenge today has been voted off, who is walking the Dock of Shame, and isn't coming back on the Boat of Losers...

"Forever and ever and whatnot!!"

Noah glared at him through the mess of octopus ink and smeared make-up that was his face, and his fake boobs were lopsided. Cody clenched his skirt tightly. Bridgette, though her eyes were glowing with happiness, looked nervous.

Harold, with a bandage wrapped around his forehead, sighed and cupped his face in his hand. Eva crossed her arms and snarled, but stopped when she saw Beth out of the corner of her eye. The farm girl looked devastated, her face in her hands.

"What's wrong, Beth?" the fitness buff asked her.

"Didn't you thee me today?" she said with a defeated sigh. "I thucked! Big time! I blew tho many challenges, and I barely sthqueezed by the lastht one! They're going to pick me off, like the sthickly gazelle of the herd."

Eva's normally stern face looked sympathetic, quite rare for her. She rubbed the farm girl's back and said, "Don't be so hard on yourself, you did manage to survive. And I know someone who didn't vote for you."

"Really? Who?"

"Me, you nut. I voted for Cody."

Cody practically flinched upon hearing this. "Awww, but I didn't vote for you. I voted for Noah."

"What?! Again?!" the egghead shouted as he turned towards the tech-geek. "What is it with you and voting for me?"

"He's afraid you'll kiss him again," Izzy said, giggling. "Though who could blame you, he's such a cute girl."

"Izzy, if you weren't immune, I swear I'd-"

"But I am! Nyah-nyah-nyah-nnnyah nyah!!"

Chris cleared his throat. "Well, now with only six left, I'm going to call out the three people who didn't get any votes at all.

"... Beth."

"What?" the farm girl gaped as the marshmallow landed in her hands. "R-Really?"

"I'm actually contract-obligated not to psyche out people during these ceremonies," Chris admitted. "They think we could get sued for that."

Noah snapped his fingers and sighed. "Well, I'll find another loophole."

"The next marshmallow," Chris continued, "goes to Bridgette!" The surfer girl cried out in joy, then ran over to Geoff and glomp-hugged him, knocking him down again.

"She's going to kill him eventually," said Courtney.

"He'd die happy," said Duncan.

"And the last of the three campers who didn't get any votes...," Chris said, "is Harold!"

The nerd looked up in time for the marshmallow to hit him in the forehead. He winced but managed to catch the fluffy treat. "Yes," he whispered in victory.

"So then," Chris said, a wicked grin on his face now, "we only have Noah, Eva, and Cody left! Which of you has lost Total Drama Comeback?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Do you folks at home know?)**

Eva - "I really did vote for Cody. I actually think there could be more to that skinny noodle than meets the eyes."

Izzy - "I voted for whom I thought would be the second biggest threat! And that's because Cody is the biggest, but he is always nice to me."

Heather - \still woozy\ "... I like string!" \She falls off the seat of the outhouse and onto the floor.\

Ezekiel - "Eva, man, she still manages to freak me 'oot, eh."

Noah - "Well, joke's on Cody! I voted for him too! Nyah-nyah-nnnn-nyah-nyah!!"

Bridgette - "Despite all the changes and maturing I've seen and experienced here on the island, Noah is still rude. And he looks..." \she snickers\ "quite frightening right now."

* * *

Chris looked between Cody, Noah, and Eva. "The first of two remaining marshmallows... goes to..."

Eva crossed her arms tightly. Cody whimpered and shook in anticipation. Noah glared at Chris through the ink and smeared make-up.

"... Noah."

The egghead snatched the marshmallow in midair. "_Thank_ you. Nothing was worth this humiliatio-"

He was stopped when a squealing, super-happy Katie came running at him, and tackle-hugged him to the ground. "No Katie," he protested, "the make-up and ink are still wet-"

But the thinner BFFF didn't listen and proceeded to kiss him. After a couple seconds, Noah had no more objections.

"Cody, Eva," Chris said, drumming his fingers on the plate, "there's only one marshmallow. Who gets it, the boy or the girl?"

The two remaining, cross-dressing campers exchanged glances, wondering which was which in that sentence.

"Who's it gonna be?" the handsome host asked them. "Is it our handsome Eva or our beautiful Cody?"

"If he doesn't get this over with," Eva grumbled to Cody, her voice trembling slightly, "I'm going to murder him."

"On live TV?"

"That's the way he'd want it, I know."

Cody nodded, then looked back at Chris Maclean. The tech-geek crossed his legs tighter in apprehension of the last marshmallow and the fear people might see his underwear.

"And so," Chris finally exclaimed, "the final marshmallow of the night... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Cody."

The tech-geek gasped as he caught the marshmallow, then looked at the host with a "Really?" expression on his face. He flinched when he heard Eva hiss in a sharp, furious breath of air.

The fitness buff shook, her face contorted... then she sighed. "Guess I should have seen it coming," she muttered, half-grumbling and half-sad. "If I allowed myself to lose during the free-for-all, you all would get rid of me ASAP.

"I guess I should consider it a compliment, that you consider me that big a treat."

Cody patted her shoulder, and for the first time ever, she made no motion for him to stop. She even smiled in thanks to the tech-geek.

"Oh, COME ON!"

Chris Maclean looked furious, and he was now holding a tranquilizer dart rifle; his finger was on the trigger. "I got this specifically for your inevitable freak out, and you're going to be nice?! I don't get to use it? GYP!!"

He threw his fists down in frustration, and accidentally squeezed the trigger. The host had only a couple seconds to see a dart lodged in his shoe, penetrating his foot, before he gurgled and collapsed. Drool leaked from his mouth, and his glazed eyes looked up at the night sky.

There was silence, and then all twenty-two campers burst out laughing. Chef Hatchet was cheering and clapping, shouting, "Karma pay back, pretty boy," over the laughter of the campers.

And none of them were laughing as hard as Eva.

* * *

"Okay, guys, kick some serious ass," Eva shouted from the Boat of Losers. "I won't be defeated by people who were better than me!"

"Will do, Eva," Cody called to her, waving good-bye.

"Beth, that goes double to you," the fitness buff continued. "You're not weak, you can whip their butts!"

"I'll try," the farm girl called back.

Soon, the Boat of Losers and Eva were out of sight. The romantic cruise ship pulled up to the Dock of Losers.

"You pack of losers," Chef Hatchet said, pointing to the ex-campers, "are going to be riding on this for a couple minutes, as it's taking you back to Plaza des Losers. Geoff and Bridgette, Gwen and Trent, get your butts on that ship too!"

As they left, the losers gave more encouragement to the remaining nine campers. Owen picked Izzy up and kissed her. Katie hugged Noah, and let Sadie give him a hug too (almost crushing him). DJ patted Beth's shoulder and smiled comfortingly at him, while Justin gave her a hug that made her knees weak.

Leshawna hugged Gwen and Trent as the couple made their way onto the boat. Duncan and Courtney patted Cody's shoulder, and waved at Harold.

"Don't let Heather fool you any, dude," Tyler said as he high-fived Ezekiel. "She's not really into you."

"I'm only holding her now because she's tried to jump off twice now, eh."

Bridgette walked over to Ezekiel and kissed his cheek. "Thank you so much again," she said. She looked so radiant, the prairie boy blushed even harder than the kiss had made him.

Geoff kissed his other cheek, which startled the poor boy. "Dude, I owe you _so_ much for this! I love ya, I really do!"

He picked up the prairie boy and gave him a bear hug. Heather giggled, then did a swan dive over the side of the dock. After Geoff finally put him down, Ezekiel mumbled, "You're welcome, treat her well and all, eh," and jumped into the water after Heather.

Gwen and Trent high-fived Geoff and Bridgette as the two couples boarded the ship. Waving good-bye to the remaining campers, the goth girl burst out laughing as she saw Ezekiel drag Heather onto the beach.

"It's so cute how evil girl turns into a dim bulb whenever she gets konked," Gwen remarked. "Though I hope you can still hitch him up with one of your friends, Bridge."

"Yeah, he's such a cute girl, and those stockings could charm any man," Geoff commented, chuckling.

"She does look great in a toque," Trent agreed.

"You two boys shouldn't poke fun at her, now," Bridgette replied. "You're going on romantic cruises with a surfer dude and a goth guy!"

* * *

**Ezekiel** - Eva.

**Eva** - Cody.

**Noah** - Cody.

**Izzy** - Eva.

**Cody** - Noah.

**Beth** - Noah.

**Harold** - Eva.

**Bridgette** - Noah.

**Heather** - Cody.

**Gwen** - Eva.

--

Eva - 4.

Noah - 3.

Cody - 3.

--

Voted off List - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva.

Remaining Campers - Beth, Bridgette, Cody, Ezekiel, Gwen, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Noah.

* * *

--

--

--

Sorry to all you Eva fans. Look on the bright side: she got the last laugh. Chris gets more of what he so richly deserves.

The upcoming challenge has actually been requested by a couple of campers, and it has something to do with jail. Continue to cheer on your favorites, and enjoy!


	39. Day 14, Part 1: Jail House Roxors

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Please make sure the safety strap is attached to your wrist before playing the fanfiction.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Wow, I got the next chapter out fast, didn't I? That's what happens when you have a day off, and the idea already planned out! Yay!

Now, about the previous chapter, I'm so happy you all really liked the tranquilizer dart gun joke! I'm proud as can be, because I was really into that joke!

Also, the emotions over Heather-Bridgette-Ezekiel, it is wild! Just remember one thing: I am evil! I'm the evil kobold necromancer! Bua ha ha! BuahaHAHA!

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback...

The ex-campers came back to bring everyone some more wicked challenges. And these were rough! They had to smooch, cross-dress, clean toilets, kick Chef's butt, dodge baseballs, and more! It was hilarious to watch, and even more amusing was to see Noah with big ol' boobies!

In the end, Ezekiel and Gwen were the champions, completing every challenge. Gwen went on a romantic cruise with Trent, while Zeke gave his to Bridgette, who went out with Geoff. I lost another fifty bucks, because Chef Hatchet seems to think Bridgette and Zeke are 'just friends,' which to me is silly; he's in denial.

Eva was voted off, and she left with grace and dignity. Nothing bad happened when she was forced to depart, nothing embarrassing or disrespectful happened at all.

We're down to nine challengers now! Just a few more challenges, and we'll have our three finalists. And this time around, we're give our challengers time! Lots of time! You'll be seeing your nine campers behind bars, seeing stars, and on par in To-tal... Dreee-ama... Co-ummmmmmmmmmeba-aaaaaaaaaaack!!!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 39 (Day 14, Part 1)** - We're All Innocent on this Island

* * *

Monday morning brought chirping birds, chattering squirrels, and a muttering Ezekiel. The prairie boy was mumbling in his sleep.

"Oh... Heather...," he mumbled, "yeah... yes, I'd love for you to kiss me... ohhh...!"

He snapped up in bed, wide-eyed. "What? ... Oh damn it!" The prairie boy slapped his forehead, and sighed. "I hate it when I have dreams that feel that real. It's either a nightmare or it breaks my heart when I wake up, eh."

After getting dressed, careful not to wake Harold, he checked the clock. He smiled when he realized he had still woken up on time, the time that he and Beth always woke up.

When he walked out of the Killer Bass cabin, he was surprised to see that Beth was not up; she usually beat him up. He waited for a couple minutes, then sighed.

"_She's still probably upset a'boot the Final Ten's Ten Finals, eh,_" he thought. "_Beth's been sooree'ful ever since she barely managed to squeak through that challenge._

"_Of course, she might really need some sleep, eh. There have been a lot of construction noise this weekend, and I can barely sleep either_."

He shrugged, then looked around. The sky was beautiful, cloudless and pure. The sunlight gleamed against the grass, making it shine in a wondrous way. The ex-campers were standing next to cafeteria, chained together by their feet and wearing black-and-white striped prison uniforms.

Ezekiel yawned, then walked towards the cafeteria. He had his hand on the doorknob when something clicked about what he had just seen. The prairie boy looked slowly back over at the ex-campers chained together.

Tyler waved at him, holding up his handcuffed hands; the thirteen ex-campers were all wearing handcuffs.

Ezekiel stared, blinked, then groaned and covered his face with his hand. "I'm not getting enough sleep," he muttered before heading into the cafeteria.

Noah and Cody were already there, having a nerd fight. "No no no," Noah declared, slamming his book on the table. "Gungans would _not_ make proper Jedi!"

"Of course they could! They're highly flexible, they're dedicated, and they could even hold their lightsaber in their tongue for extra range."

Cody mimed this, pretending to have an extra-long tongue and thrash it everywhere. Noah was less than impressed with this.

"Yeah, right. Look, if you allow gungans to become Jedi, then we'll have weird-talking fools like Jar Jar Binks being Jedi."

"Because we all know that the Jedi are picky about speaking patterns, don't we?" Cody replied. "Judge by voice, you should not."

"Nerd."

"Right back at 'cha."

Ezekiel sat in front of them, holding a tray of Chef's so-called food. "Hey guys, how's it feel to be at the top nine?"

"Quite remarkable, I think," Cody replied, smiling proudly. "I really think I have a shot at winning this time."

"I'm not surprised. Me making it this far, that is," Noah said, picking up his book and reading some more. "Though it has been more eventful than I thought it would be."

"Yeah, keep bragging, Double-Ds," Cody joked, slapping Noah on the back. The egghead shivered in fury, and took a breath.

"I meant the fact that I have a girlfriend, you gungan fanboy."

Ezekiel chuckled, then started on his breakfast. "Say, um, did either of you notice that all the ex-campers are right outside, dressed and cuffed up like a chain gang? Or am I not getting enough sleep?"

"No, I saw them too," Cody remarked. "Looks rather uncomfortable."

"Probably has something to do with the next challenge, eh?"

"Either that," Noah remarked, "or the RCMP is going to request a prisoner exchange. Them for Izzy."

"They look kind of miserable 'oot there," Ezekiel remarked. "Should we bring them some food?"

"No, they're being tormented enough."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Freshly squeezed!)**

Ezekiel - "I wonder how long they were standing 'oot there, eh."

Noah - "You know, I'm more than certain that prisoners don't wear those black-and-white strips anymore."

Cody - "I'd really like to win, for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I just want to prove that I can do this. All I gotta do is avoid bears, Heather's dagger, and... well, getting voted off like I almost was; that might make me lose." \He nervously chuckles.\

* * *

The pink, romantic cruise ship pulled up to the Dock of Shame, and Gwen and Bridgette walked off. They waved to Trent and Geoff, blowing kisses. Their boyfriends also blew kisses back, but they, to the girls' surprise, left the ship too.

"Wait, don't you have to go back to Plaza des Losers, Geoff?" Bridgette asked. She was already leaning against him, holding him around the waist.

"Actually, we were instructed to join you all for today's challenge," Trent told them. "We're involved again."

"Looks like Chris was wrong every time he said, 'Never coming back'," she said, imitating Chris's voice, " 'ever'."

"They didn't really say what for yet," Geoff commented. "I wonder what we're needed for?"

They then noticed the chain gang of ex-campers. DJ and Owen waved at them happily.

"How was it?" most of the ex-campers asked in unison.

"Oh my...," Gwen remarked, grabbing Trent as if to keep him safe.

"Oh man," Geoff moaned. "I look terrible in black-and-white!"

Lindsay nodded earnestly. "I _know_, right?"

Beth and Heather came out of the Screaming Gophers cabin. The farm girl still looked down, while the queen bee looked cranky as usual.

"What...," Heather declared, pointing at the chain gang, "are they doing here?"

"Oh how the hell would we know?" Beth shot back, walking into the cafeteria.

DJ blinked, looking quite surprised. "Whoa, that's not like Beth."

"What did you say to her?" Justin snapped at Heather.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Was it Izzy?"

"We haven't seen Izzy this morning. She wasn't in the cabin when we woke up."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Still not fully awake.)**

Izzy - \wearing a tight, black ninja suit\ "Okay, that jellybean smuggler is getting rather serious. I've found more jellybeans hidden in various parts of the camp, including in here."

\She juggles a couple in one hand.\ "It's only a matter of time before I find out who's the smuggler. After much searching and investigation, I've narrowed down the suspects to Harold, Bridgette, and Gwen."

* * *

Soon all nine of the remaining campers were in the cafeteria, and Trent and Geoff were left with the chain gang. Ezekiel grinned at Bridgette and Gwen, and wiggled his eyebrows.

"How was it, eh?" he asked in a singsong voice.

"Oh," Bridgette said, flushing, "I'm not about to kiss and tell."

"C'mon, please?" Cody asked, clasping his hands.

Beth nodded a great many times, smiling now. "We could do with a little cheer this morning."

"What with Wawanakwa's Most Wanted lined up outside," Noah remarked, not looking up from his book, "this island feels a lot more like prison than normal."

"What an accurate way to put it, Noah!"

Chris Maclean was in the cafeteria, entering from the kitchen. "Because today is all about prison!"

"The RCMP finally hunt down Izzy?" Heather grumbled.

"What?! They're here?!" the redhead shouted, then she roared, "THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" With a loud cackle, she dove out the window. The campers and Chris stared in astonishment.

"And you all wonder," Ezekiel remarked, "why I doo'nt like being around her, eh."

Chris shook off his shock, and then spoke up again. "It's time for you all to do something I think you've wanted to do for some time. Escape!

"It's the Escape from Wawanakwa Island," Chris declared. "And you're going to see what we've been building over the weekend!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I thought it was the Curse of Wawanakwa Island?)**

Gwen - "Oh, he has no idea how right he is. Despite the wonderful cruise with Trent, I really just want to leave. But I am going to win this time; well, at the least, I'll beat Heather."

Bridgette - \She sighs ever-so-happily.\ "It was wonderful, that cruise. I'm still all warm and fuzzy..." \She giggles.\ "Well, now that I'm satisfied, it's time to work on Zeke again."

Harold - "So, we're down to nine now. Awesome! I'm still going strong, and I finally got to see something I've always wanted to see: Duncan in a prison uniform! Ha ha ha!"

* * *

The nine campers and the chain gang (who moved very slow and continuously fell down) were led to a large, concrete building that had somehow been built on the island.

"So um," Harold spoke up, "how'd you build this in, like, two days?"

"Oh, we have our ways," Chris remarked. "Now, for the nine of you still in this contest, this building is a little makeshift prison! Concrete walls and floor, an electric fence circling the building, and an active guard!"

Chef Hatchet approached the group, wearing a police officer's uniform. A _woman_ police officer uniform, complete with skimpy skirt. Some of the campers screamed.

"This is my prison, maggots," Chef Hatchet roared. "And you'd better not mess around in my jail!"

"Come on in, my Wawanakwa convicts," the handsome hosts said. "Let's see you to your cells!"

* * *

Inside the building, nine iron-barred doors rolled shut, locking in the nine campers. Chris Maclean held a clipboard as he patrolled down the hallway the nine cells were in, Chef Hatchet close behind him.

"Inmate #1, Beth," Chris commented, pointing his pencil at the farm girl inside the jail cell. "Arrested for doing poorly in the last challenge, and reckless hugging.

"Inmate #2, Bridgette. Doing time for her protest against our usage of meat on this show; in fact, she protests all food usage on this show.

"Inmate #3, Cody. Sent to the big house for reckless flirting, winking, and sly grinning."

"Inmate #4, Ezekiel. Theft of one hundred and fifty dollars, not, I repeat _not_ lost over bets that I made that he'd try to hit on Bridgette.

"Inmate #5, Gwen. Bad attitude. Chance of getting out early on good behavior, fat chance.

"Inmate #6, Harold. Illegal ninja moves, illegal ninja weapons, and overly used catch phrases. Might be released soon, due to awesome behavior.

"Inmate #7, Heather. She's been tried for back stabbing, insulting, and reckless flirting with Ezekiel. ("I don't like him! No no no no no no...")

"Inmate #8, Izzy. The list of charges against this redhead is so long, we don't have the screen time to name them all. ("Your prison bars cannot hold me for long, foolish pigs," Izzy screamed as she shook the bars of her cell. "I'll have my revenge once I bust out of here!")

"Inmate #9, Noah. For being a smart aleck, reading books recklessly, and other know-it-all behavior."

The host tapped his clipboard, then smiled up at the nine campers. "You nine are going to be executed at midnight tonight for your crimes!"

"I'm being tried and executed for one hundred and fifty dollars?!" Ezekiel shouted, slapping his hands on his cheeks.

"Um, you're not really gonna kill uth, are you?" Beth asked.

"You really that gullible, brace-face?" Heather snapped. "That's the deadline for the challenge."

As Beth hung her head in shame, Chris cleared his throat. "That actually is true. You have until midnight to escape this prison."

"Any tips on how to do that?" Noah asked, crossing his arms; he was mad because Chef Hatchet had confiscated his book. "I mean, not all of us are like Eva, and can bend these bars."

"Well, I'm glad you asked that, Noah," the host said. "Because in every cell, there is a double-bunk and a little head start on your escape."

The nine campers looked around their cells, and each noticed that a part of their cell, up against the wall, the concrete had been removed from the floor and wall.

"Okay...," Cody mused, "we have a dirt section of our cell, what are we supposed to do about it?"

"You are going to dig your way out," Chris informed them. "It's going to be a great escape, a Wawanakwa redemption, and... not quite Alcatraz, but really cool!"

He patted Chef Hatchet on the shoulder. "This here is your local guard, Patrol Officer Chef! He will be making walks up and down this corridor, and observe you about every thirty minutes!

"The object of the challenge is to be the first to tunnel your way under the wall, find a way to get over the electric fence outside, and win!"

Harold and Izzy let out wild cheers. "This'll be great practice in case they ever do catch me," Izzy declared.

"I've had dreams of doing something cool like this," Harold cheered. "I've always wanted to try this."

"Shame Duncan's not here to enjoy what would surely feel like a homecoming," Bridgette remarked.

Chris chuckled. "You all think this is so amusing. But let it be known that Wawanakwa-Traz is a tough cookie to crack! Every two hours, you will all be let into the main lounge of the prison, which is also the cafeteria. Also there are the drinking fountains, bathrooms, and a window to remind you all of the sweet freedom that lies outside!"

"Wait, so the goal is just to escape tonight?" Bridgette asked. "Is that all?"

"Of course not. See, I told you Patrol Officer Chef was patrolling here every half-hour, and he'll also be watching over you all out in the cafeteria lounge.

"He's not allowed into your cells to check, but if he spies you digging, sees the hole you have, or catches any dirt on you or in your cell, you are out! And you are going to join the lovely chain gang out there in the lounge!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Oh, the harshness.)**

Heather - "Chained up with those people? Wearing cuffs on my hands and feet? In black-and-white strips? No no, oh by all that is good and holy, no!"

Harold - "Now I prove my awesome stealth skills! I'll be disappearing before they know it! That's why I think I'll win this contest overall."

Beth - "Okay... I can do thith! I don't care how difficult thith may look, I am going to prove Chrith wrong! He said I did poorly last time, it'th time I show everyone what I'm capable of!"

Gwen - "So who made up this challenge? I'm guessing Chef, because he has escaped from prison, I'd put money on that!"

* * *

"But wait, there is more," Chris announced. "If you win, you win immunity, and you will also win two wonderful days at the Ana Vacaboc Resort!"

He held up a small poster, letting it unroll for all to see. "Ana Vacaboc Resort has some of the top medical professionals, making it a great place to really get fit again! You can get a makeover, a treatment, a spa, and more! Doesn't that sound great?"

"I have been looking forward to some allergy treatment," Noah said, tapping his chin in thought.

"Oh, I need that," Heather declared, clapping her hands. "That spa is mine!"

"Alright then, jailed campers," Chris Maclean exclaimed, rolling up the poster. "The Escape from Wawanakwa Island begins... now!"

He and Patrol Officer Chef left the corridor, and the large cook called back, "I'll be back in a half-hour, maggots!" With that, he slammed the door behind him.

The campers looked around their cell, wondering what to do. "I am slightly confused," Bridgette admitted, "as to where we are going to hide the dirt from the hole."

"Guess we could smuggle it out when we get that break in the lounge, eh," Ezekiel suggested.

"That's in two hours, though," Cody pointed out.

"Then we have to make due," Izzy said. She grabbed a pillow, ripped it open and flung the feathers around her cell. She started to shovel dirt, with her bare hands, into the case.

"But how are you going to explain the feathers?" Noah asked. Izzy was too concentrated on filling the pillow with dirt.

"Oh well, when in Alcatraz," Gwen said with a shrug. She ripped open her pillow, and began to stuff the feathers down her shirt and under the bed sheets.

The nine campers all ripped open their pillows and began stuffing the feathers everywhere they could. Bridgette looked at the feathers disapprovingly.

"Poor birds," she whispered as she pocketed the down.

"Hey guys," Harold said, then he proceeded to swallow a feather, "I'm trying to keep down down!"

The others looked disapprovingly.

"Well I thought it was funny. Gosh!"

The campers went to filling the two pillow cases they had available with dirt from the soft spot in their cell. A half-hour went by fast, and a buzzer went off to alert them of the elapsed time. The campers dragged their bunk beds in front of the hole in their cell, desperate to hide their escape route.

A minute after the buzzer blared, Patrol Officer Chef walked in. "If I see a speck of dirt," he roared, "then you're doomed, do you hear me?!"

He looked into every camper's cell. A few things caught his eye. Ezekiel's toque looked puffy, Bridgette's pockets on her jacket and shorts were stuffed full, and Gwen's bust was a few sizes larger (and Cody was staring with a gaping jaw).

Izzy was the most suspicious, as her cell was littered with feathers. She was mewling and playing with them, blowing them into the air and tickling herself with them. "It's fun," she squealed in delight.

Patrol Officer Chef raised an eyebrow, then looked at the pillows in her cell. They both looked normal, albeit a bit more lumpy. The large cook in a tight skirt (bleah) shrugged, then walked out of the corridor and slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Seen first off on the internet!)**

Chef Hatchet - "Hey, Chris said 'dirt,' not feathers. And plus, I'd hate to get a ton of hate mail because I booted off crazy girl so early over feathers. That'd be my downfall."

\He snorts, then laughs.\ " 'Down'-fall! Feathers! Get it? Har har har!"

* * *

The campers went back to digging, and soon they found out that they didn't have enough room in their pillow cases for the dirt.

"Try being like earthworms and eat it," Izzy suggested. She shoved a handful of dirt into her mouth, then winced and spit it out. "Ewww, that tastes so dirty."

Heather tried to fit dirt into her pockets and under her sheets, but she soon realized it was going to fit. With a frustrated shout, she threw a handful to the side.

The dirt scattered all over Ezekiel's cell. The prairie boy squeaked in horror, and tried brushing the damning evidence into the hole.

The buzzer blared again, and the prairie boy wasn't prepared. He pushed his bunk bed in front of the hole, and pulled the sheet off his top bunk.

"I don't think he'll buy that, Zeke," Beth called out to him, sticking some dirt clods into her shoes.

"Um, I'll tell him I'm having a picnic?"

Heather, who still had a handful of dirt, panicked and tossed the dirt into the adjacent cell. Ezekiel cried out as the dirt fell on him and the sheet.

Patrol Officer Chef came in, and looked into the cells. He stopped immediately when he saw Ezekiel sitting on a blanket with dirt all over it and him.

"Um... uhhhh," the prairie boy stammered as the large guard crossed his arms and snarled. "I'm playing Twister?"

"Awww, for shame, Zeke," Heather cooed patronizingly. "Looks like you're already out. What can I say?"

She shrugged, and her body movements forced dirt from her pockets to spill out like little waterfalls. Her eyes widened in horror when Chef watched the dirt fall, and grinned wickedly at her.

* * *

Ezekiel watched as Chef Hatchet linked Heather's feet cuffs to his, then put handcuffs on the queen bee.

"You can't prove that was dirt," she shrieked at Chef Hatchet as he walked away.

"He actually tasted some to see if was, eh," Ezekiel pointed out. Geoff, who was next to Ezekiel, looked with a "Really now?" face.

"Ezekiel, I am so not in the mood," Heather grumbled. She looked down at her new clothes, the black-and-white striped uniform of the prisoners, and snarled.

"I think stripes actually have a slimming effect on you, eh," the prairie boy offered.

"Oh yeah, stripes are in right now," Geoff added, nodding and smiling.

The other campers were all watching them, some smiling and others smirking wickedly. glad to see Heather suffering. The queen bee noticed this, and snarled again.

"Shut up, Zeke," she spat at him.

"Hey, he's just trying to be nice, Heather," Geoff said. "C'mon, give him a break, he's trying to be nice."

"Geoff, I'm warning you..."

"Heather, you're chained up next to him, you should just try to get along," the party animal continued. "You know, it's no shame to admit you like him!"

The queen bee took a deep breath, then turned towards Ezekiel. "How many times do I have to say..."

She wasn't able to raise her leg much, but she got close enough to ram her thigh into his groin. "... I don't like him!"

Ezekiel fell down to the ground, holding his crotch. "Ohhhhh... owww...," he whimpered. "Prison sucks, eh."

Eva cackled. "It's a jail fight now! Anyone got contraband?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Wait, how are the campers using this?)**

Geoff - \with a smug grin\ "She likes him."

Heather - "I don't like him! No no no no no no..."

Ezekiel - "You knoo', guys aren't much stronger and better at sports than girls are, especially if we're not wearing a cup, eh." \He winces.\

Eva - "Man, Ezekiel's tougher than I thought, if he puts up with that back stabbing witch's version of flirtation."

* * *

The seven remaining jailbirds were busy digging, most of them trying to just get deeper down the hole.

"This really is hopeless unless we find a way to get rid of the dirt," Bridgette said to the others. "And the feathers."

"We can flush them down the johns in the bathrooms in the lounge when we get that break in an hour," Harold suggested. "Even down the water fountains and out the window."

"I wonder if we could throw the dirt into Heather'sth and Ethekiel'sth cells," Beth suggested.

They followed this idea, chucking handfuls of packed dirt into the empty cells. "I feel like a monkey at the zoo," Noah remarked.

"Ewww, that's gross," Bridgette protested.

"But funny," Izzy declared. She cackled, and chucked a large ball of dirt at the cell in front of her's. It splattered all over Gwen.

"Izzy," the goth girl shouted, and threw a ball of dirt at the crazy girl. Izzy dodged it, and the dirt landed in her escape hole.

"Haha, missed me!"

When Chef Hatchet made his third patrol, Gwen still had dirt on her and around her cell. She was dragged out of the cell block, shouting at Izzy and swearing revenge.

"You know, Iththy," Beth called out to the redhead, "you gotta watch your impulsthes. Now you got Gwen mad at you too, and Zeke's still scared of you."

"Awww, you're right," Izzy admitted, looking ashamed. "I should try to make it up to her after this."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as comfy as a sofa, but we try.)**

Izzy - "People just don't get me. I'm ahead of my time, much many artists. One day, maybe even years from now, I'll be herald as a genius. I just hope I don't have to be burned at the stake first, or get shot, or something like that.

"I wanna be famous, I just wanna be alive to see me make it."

* * *

Gwen was poking Heather on the shoulder. "Does this bug you? Does this bug you, I'm barely touching you!"

"Knock it off, weird goth girl! I'll scrape your face off."

"Ooo, wanna fight?" Gwen asked, holding up her cuffed fists. "I'd love to rip that hair of yours off again."

Heather growled and looked away. "And," Gwen added, "those stripes look _darling_ on you! Gives you a slimming effect!"

The queen bee let out a frustrated cry, and began smacking Ezekiel. "This is all _your_ fault! You redneck, you toque-wearing twerp, you son of a bi-"

"Get off of him," Gwen shouted, pulling the queen bee away from Ezekiel. "Why are you blaming him?"

"I can't stand prison," Ezekiel wailed as he backed against Geoff, who held him protectively.

Lindsay was nodding a great deal. "I _know_, right? I'm too pretty to go to prison!"

"I so agree," said Justin.

"And me," Owen added.

The chain gang sat down at one of the tables, forcing Heather to sit down as well. She glared at Ezekiel, who flinched and gave her a small smile. She scoffed and looked away, to come face to face with a grinning, gothic girl.

"Oh I am so enjoying this," Gwen said.

"Shut up," Heather requested. "What are you going on about?"

"Just that he's the one guy who could put up with you, and you're shooting him down."

The queen bee narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me? How does that make you so happy, weird goth girl?"

"It just makes me glad to see you being so stupid that you blow your one chance at happiness."

"Oh leave me alone, you dirt-caked goth."

"Glad to, dirt-caked bi-"

Heather's eyes bulged, then looked the other way. Ezekiel gave her a little wave and smile, and the queen bee shoved him out of his chair.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Prison is hell.)**

**Lindsay** - "She really likes him."

**DJ** - "I don't think she really likes him."

**Tyler** - "Man, there's no way she likes him."

**Sadie** - "She's got it so bad for him."

**Courtney** - "Ugh, it makes me queasy thinking of those two together."

**Duncan** - "Oh yeah baby, she wants him."

**Katie** - "Awwwww, it's so cute how she tries to deny it."

**Heather** - "I don't need to say it, you all know the truth."

**Ezekiel** - "Maybe Bridgette's right, I should stay away from her. Unless... is dating supposed to be like boxing? I've never tried this be'fur, eh."

* * *

The six jailbirds were eventually sent into the lounge, all of them with their hands on top of their pockets. They kept looking over at Patrol Officer Chef, nervously grinning.

"You all got ten minutes," he barked. "So make it snappy!"

Bridgette and Noah ran for their gender-respective bathrooms. Beth was slurping at the drinking fountain, grinding dirt pellets into the drain. Harold had opened the window, and was leaning against the wall underneath it; he kept tossing dirt out via backward, overheard throws.

Izzy dropped dirt down the back of Heather's shirt, and ran off cackling. "That one was for you, Gwen," she declared.

Cody had given his dirt to Harold, and was now sitting across from the chain gang. "So," he asked Owen, "how's life at Plaza des Losers?"

"It's okay, I guess," the large teen said. "But it's not really that exciting. Nice food, though."

"I would think you'd love it, since you really didn't get a chance last season."

"Well, I prefer being in the game."

Leshawna chuckled. "Honey, don't we all?"

After ten minutes went by, Patrol Officer Chef began shoving the jailbird campers back to the cells. "You criminals are too dangerous, you might shiv one of these poor souls!"

"Um, dude?" Cody muttered, "you know we're not real criminals, right?"

"No talking, you jail scum," the large cook shouted, slapping him upside the head.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Chef really gets into character, don't he?)**

Cody - "Chef really gets into character, don't he?"

\He blinks, then he looks around.\ "Wait, did someone say that? I'm getting this weird feeling of deja vú."

* * *

Back in their cells, the campers began digging again. "How far do you think we have to dig?" Noah complained.

Beth shrugged. "I dunno."

"Well, how are we supposed to get over the electric fence?" Noah asked, growing irritated.

"Are we there yet?" Izzy shouted in a fake whine, imitating Noah's voice.

"My hands are tired," Cody chimed in.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Bridgette added.

"Why can't I read during the challenge?" said Harold.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up, you pack of jailbirds."

"Hey guysth, be nice to Noah," Beth said. "We're all having a difficult time here, no need to be mean to him just becausth he's getting a little futhsy."

"_Fussy?_" Noah thought, insulted. "_Fussy is a child in the back of the van, or the kid who won't stop screaming in the store. I am NOT fussy!_"

"Yeah, be careful," Izzy said, "or he'll start flinging the dirt clods at you."

"Don't tempt me, Izzy!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Flinging it? Ewwww.)**

Noah - "No matter how far along the challenge we get, these people always love to gang up on the smart guys. Well, maybe I'll just do them an injustice and not invent a more powerful computer, let's see how they like that. Ha!"

Izzy - "Noah needs to lighten up. Izzy should get a big feather and tickle-torture him!"

Beth - "Oh man, I've got so much dirt underneath my fingernailsth, I'll have to uthe a power hose to get it out."

* * *

An hour and a half passed, and the chain gang was getting rather bored. Ezekiel had curled up at the table and rested his head in his arms. He had fallen asleep, much to Heather's annoyance.

"How can he fall asleep so fast?" she grumbled.

"Does everything annoy you, Heather?" Gwen snapped at her. "Jeez, no wonder he stays his distance from you."

"Freak!"

"Skank!"

"Weirdo!"

"Harlot!"

"Banshee!"

"Bi-"

"Girls, girls, girls," Geoff declared. "Stop that, please? You'll wake Zeke up!"

But Ezekiel was still asleep. His snore sounded a slight whimper to it, and Heather looked away when she heard it.

"Awww, find his snoring cute?" Gwen teased her.

"No, it's pathetic," Heather said, far too quickly.

Chris passed by the chain gang, still holding his clipboard. "Seems we have to go to a commercial break right about now," he said, looking over at the campers.

"Why?" Gwen asked. "I mean, we're a reality show. Don't they just tape all this, then cut it down to a half-hour for TV?"

"Normally yes, but we do have the unrated, extended, director's cut DVD box set to think about," Chris said, and when he grinned, the campers could practically hear the cash registers going on his head. "And we have to have a cutaway during that, for the scene selection option."

"Do we have to buy the DVD sets?" Geoff asked, "or do we get them for free since we're in the show?"

"I'm pretty sure we'll all have to buy our own copies," Chris admitted.

"What a gyp," Leshawna grumbled. "I shouldn't have to pay for a copy of a TV show I'm in."

"Hey, I host this show, and I still gotta buy my own, even if I work on the DVD," Chris pointed out. "Or I'll get Harold to do it, seems more like his kind of thing."

"Wouldn't he get more royalties that way?" DJ asked.

"Oh yeah. Forget that."

"Harold is royalty?" Lindsay asked, her mouth gaping. "Oh wow, I, like, never knew!"

"Chris," Gwen said, quirking an eyebrow at Lindsay's comments, "you said something about commercial break?"

"Right-o."

* * *

_A salesman with a cheesy grin is smiling at the camera. "Hello, viewers of Total Drama Comeback! Are you tired of being told you cannot perform the stunts seen on the show? Do you want to risk your life for the sake of fun, and not have your parents sue us after any accidents you might have?_

_"Here's a sponsor of our new product, a contestant of the show himself! It's Joel, everyone!"_

_Joel was sitting in front of a table, looking thoroughly unpleased. He has his arms crossed and he stared straight ahead. "I'm not a contestant yet," he replied._

_"You will be," the salesman muttered under his breath, then faced the camera and put his cheesy grin back on. "Now boys and girls, your dream will come true."_

_He put a bowl on the table in front of Joel, then poured some cereal into it. "We have Total Drama Sugarpuffs for you all who want to 'dive' into the danger that Total Drama provides!"_

_"Part of my soul," Joel grumbled, "died upon hearing that."_

_"And it's got sugar, lots of sugar, kids," the man with the cheesy grin said, proudly setting the box on the table._

_Joel finally moved to pick up the box and look at the ingredients. "Sugar is the only ingredient."_

_"And try the Total Drama Surge Drink," the salesman declared, holding up a can towards the camera. "It'll bring you a SURGE that you need for wild stunts."_

_"Do you have Total Drama Pliers for pulling the kids off the wall during the SURGE?" Joel grumbled._

_"And for the ultimate Total Drama experience, try the Total Drama Surge Drink in your Total Drama Sugarpuffs!"_

_He poured the energy drink into the bowl of sugary cereal. Joel stared at it with wide-eyes, then ran like hell out of the room._

_"So hit your local grocery today, boys and girls," said the salesman with the cheesy grin, as the cereal began to bubble and fizz at an alarming rate, "for the Total Drama experience that you've been waiting f-"_

_The cereal blew up after a surge of sugary overload, the last thing anyone could see was one last flash of the cheesy grin. The scene immediately cut to the next commercial._

* * *

"Well, he's officially risked his life," Chris said, smiling and tapping Joel's name he made on his notepad. "Joel, you're going to do just fine. But after that commercial, we leave you with these parting questions:

"**Who is going to break out of Wawanakwa-Traz first: Harold, Beth, Noah, Cody, Bridgette, or Izzy?**

"**Who will be voted off, and will you still watch the show if it's someone you like?**

"**And would you be interested in Total Drama Sugarpuffs? Or Total Drama Surge Drink? Is that stuff even save to consume?!**

"All this and more will be answered in the second part of this challenge!"

* * *

**Part 2 changing into your lane, let's hope it uses it's blinker.**

* * *

--

--

--

Yes, some of you have asked for a prison escape episode! I couldn't resist putting them behind bars! Sorry that this day is a little shorter than usual, that's why I added the commercial; I love making fun of commercials, I should do SNL.

The next part of this challenge will dive more into relationships, and also more jokes about prison! ("What a shame, the bars are still closed!" Rim shot.)


	40. Day 14, Part 2: Jail Bird Soxors

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. Please make sure the safety strap is attached to your wrist before playing the fanfiction.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Just in case you don't know, the first episode of Total Drama Action is available Teletoon's website, as well as a couple clips from upcoming episodes. TDA is just as amusing and fun as TDI, and it holds a lot of promise (the introduction rocks).

My money's on Harold. Who are you betting on to win TDA?

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 40 (Day 14, Part 2)** - The Violent Hold

* * *

"And then Izzy said, 'Well, he didn't say anything about dirt being outside the cell'," Bridgette wailed, pounding her cuffed fists on the table, "and then I said, like a total buffoon, 'I see your point, they cannot prove it was us who threw it out there'."

"How'd you get caught then?" Gwen asked her friend.

"I was so stupid," the surfer girl cried out, burying her face in her arms as she slumped on the table. "I threw the dirt directly out of my cell, and Chef Hatchet-"

"That's Patrol Officer Chef," the large man barked as he walked by.

"... Patrol Officer Chef pointed out that since the dirt had obviously been thrown from my cell, I was out."

The goth girl rubbed the surfer's back in comfort as the blond shook her head in shame. Heather was filing her nails as she listened.

"You deserve it for listening to that psycho hose-beast," the queen bee commented. "I mean, only a total fool would follow her sug-"

"That's contraband," Patrol Officer Chef interrupted, grabbing Heather's nail file. He stormed off, grumbling about how unruly the prisoners were.

"I hate that man so much," the ravenhair remarked.

Bridgette and Gwen looked at her, then at each other, then grinned wickedly. "So, Bridgette," the goth girl said, "tell me about what you and Geoff did during that romantic cruise when I didn't see you!"

Heather slammed her forehead against the table, covering her ears as hard as she could as Bridgette and Gwen began gabbing about their romantic trip. Geoff, next to the sleeping Ezekiel, kept adding little details.

"She had the hottest bikini I've ever seen on," Geoff said as the surfer girl blushed. "And I wore this little bathing suit... felt like I was naked!"

"NAKED?" Ezekiel declared, very awake suddenly. "What a'boot naked, eh? Who was naked?"

The campers had a laugh at his expense. Chris was also chuckling as he approached the chain gang with an handful of envelopes.

"Mail from home, boys and girls," he said. "Something for... DJ, Bridgette, Gwen, Tyler, Leshawna... and Zeke!"

The campers took their letters and began to open them as the five campers still in the challenge were brought into the lounge once again. Cody had his hands behind his back, and his fingernails had a very large amount of dirt under them. Beth, Harold, and Noah were out of breath, and Izzy was eyeing some of the campers in the chain gang.

Leshawna opened her letter and began to read it. "Aww, it's from my friend Jasmine," she told her friends. "She says hi, hope you're being treated well..."

A small photo fell out of the envelope, and the large sister sighed. "... And she wants me to get this picture of her signed by Chris Maclean."

DJ was grinning as he read his letter. A tear of joy rolled down his cheek. "It's from my mother and my girlfriend at home," he told Duncan, who looked at the gentle giant oddly when he saw the tear. "They miss me, and... boohoohoo!"

He clutched the letter to his heart, and sobbed loudly, startling everyone. "Boy, the man has powerful tears," Sadie said to Katie, who nodded a great deal.

Tyler nodded, tears in his eyes too. Lindsay noticed this and nudged her boyfriend. "It's from my dad," he said. "He's just telling me how proud he is of me... I miss him a lot right now."

Noah raised an eyebrow when the jock wiped away a tear.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Raising an eyebrow back.)**

Noah - "It's weird seeing a guy cry when missing his family. Coming from a family of nine, it's nice to be away from them. Still... it's _more_ crowded here!" \He sighs and rolls his eyes.\

Beth - "I mith my parentsth too! I hope that I make them proud!"

Cody - "I miss my parents. They were the only support I had after Total Drama Island, though mom had a few too many ideas on how to hook me up to 'cure my depression'." \He nervously chuckles.\

Izzy - "I'll be checking Bridgette and Gwen, and if there are no jellybeans on them... Harold must be it!"

* * *

Gwen chuckled as she read her letter. "Heh, my brother is giving me a little cheer in this letter," she told Bridgette.

"You have siblings?" Heather asked, rolling her eyes. "God forbid there are more freaky goth people like you. Do you all live next to the cemetery, or the morgue?"

Gwen managed to ignore this, talking directly to Bridgette. "He's a great guy. Did I ever tell you about the time we got a squirrel stuck in the house? Well... Bridge?"

Bridgette was studying her letter with wide eyes, looking more and more astonished as she she read on. "Bridgette?" Gwen called out to her. "Are you listening? Bridge!"

"Huh? Oh sorry," the surfer girl apologized as she looked up from her letter. She had a big smile on her face. "My mother is telling me about this guy she's started dating!"

The goth girl smiled. "That's cool. She say anything about him?"

"Just that he's a successful accountant, what a gentleman he is, and how she feels so happy with him," Bridgette said, reading from the letter. She sighed happily. "I really hope it's serious. I'd love to see my mother happy again; she hasn't been the same since my father died."

Gwen patted her friend's shoulder. "Sounds like she's happy. At least you two have happy memories about him. Not so lucky around my house."

The goth girl glanced over at Heather, who had turned away from her to chew out poor Ezekiel. Gwen wanted to continue talking to her friend, but Izzy began picking at her hair and clothing. "Izzy, get lost!"

"I'm in jail, you goof," the redhead retorted. "I already lost my freedom!"

As the crazy girl continued to inspect Gwen, the goth managed to get back to the conversation with her friend. "My dad ran off with a waitress, leaving my mom, my brother and I alone. It's been rough for her, but she's tough, despite being a little scatterbrained."

Bridgette smiled. "I guess we can all hope for a second chance at love," she said, then swatted at Izzy who was picking at the blond's hair now. "I... ow, Izzy, stop it! I hope that things go well with my mom and this new man! Who knows? Maybe I'll have a stepfather soon!"

"AHA!" Izzy shouted, startling everyone badly. "Gwen, Bridgette, you're both clean! That can only mean one thing!"

Geoff scratched his head. "Um, that Patrol Officer Chef was wrong when he said there was dirt on them?"

"It means that Harold is GUILTY," Izzy roared. She climbed on the table, observing out the lounge. When she saw a confused Harold sitting nearby, she leapt at him with a catlike hiss. The nerd screamed in terror as the crazy girl pounced him, knocking him to the ground and groping him frantically.

"Ow! Get off, Izzy! Off!"

"Where are the jellybeans, you scoundrel? You smuggler, you two-faced, wretched... AHA!"

She reached into Harold's pocket, and her hands came in contact with pellets. "I knew it, I knew it all along, that you had..."

Izzy pulled them out dramatically, with all the gusto of a sitcom's climax. "... The illegal, smuggled... dirt?!"

The redhead let the dirt clods crumble in her hands, and gaped. "But... but..."

"Ahem."

Patrol Officer was standing over the two of them, eyeing the dirt closely. He looked at Harold, then at Izzy, then he grinned wickedly.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Busted!)**

Noah - \chuckling\ "Well, look who just got owned. Own-inated. Fatali-t'owned. Case cl'owned."

Izzy - "I don't get it! I inspected all of the contestants, Chris Maclean, Chef Hatchet, the bear's cave, the surviving interns... who's the jellybean smuggler?!"

* * *

Harold growled at Izzy as Patrol Officer Chef chained the crazy girl to him. "Idiot," he grumbled as he slumped on the table.

"You were my last suspect," Izzy explained as she began her first of attempts to pick the lock of her handcuffs. "Be glad, you have been proven innocent."

"For what? Gosh," he cried out in frustration, pounding the table. Bridgette patted his shoulder in a small bit of comfort, then glared at Izzy.

"Hey, if he had been the jellybean smuggler, you all would have thanked me for catching him," Izzy declared.

"I had twenty bucks on you, Izzy," Tyler shouted. "I really thought you would win this challenge!"

"I had twenty-five on Harold," Leshawna grumbled.

Ezekiel chuckled, then finally opened his letter as he watched the remaining three jailbirds being pushed back to the jail cells by a grinning Patrol Officer Chef. "Good luck in there, guys and gal!"

Beth waved, Cody grinned, and Noah shrugged. Heather scoffed after they were out of sight. "So the remaining contestants are three of the physically weakest campers? This must be anti-climatic for the viewers."

As Leshawna and Gwen started hurling insults at Heather, Harold's imagination started to get the best of him.

* * *

_"No prison can hold a mighty sorcerer like me," Noah bellowed, lightning shooting from his fingertips and blasting the sides of the cell. "Not even your Azkalazam-Bam prison!"_

_"You think your puny magic is going to save you?" Cody roared, his metal backpack opening to reveal two large clamps. The metal grips slammed against the mithril-enchanted bars, and he growled. "My techno skills and instruments will have me out of here in no time!"_

_"You two boysth are, tho thorry to thay, doomed," Beth said. She dusted off her leather armor, straightened out the vibrant plume in her hair, and shrugged. "It's only a matter of time before my animal friendsth come to thave me. I don't think I'll risk freeing you dangerous criminals!"_

_Patrol Officer Chef kicked the door into the cell block, ripping it off the hinges and bending it in the center with his foot. "You maggots been making noise again?! You want to see what is usually the last thing a prisoner here sees?!"_

_He held up a large submachine gun, grinning wickedly. Then the gun vanished into thin air, and a large squirt gun appeared in his hands. "Damn censorship," he grumbled._

_"It was not pathetic censorship that took your precious gun from you, but me!"_

_Patrol Officer Chef turned around to see Harold there, wearing a black and red garb. With one swift kick to the chin, the large cook was knocked out._

_"I came here to recruit new allies in my war against the evil Mistress Izzy, who wrongfully framed me for crimes against the Law of Maclean. I only need one of you."_

_"I have the intelligence and magic to bring ruination to armies," Noah declared, frostfire swirling around his fists._

_"I have mechanical creations, not to mention more techno-skills," Cody said, pumping his fists and his metal claw-hands too._

_"I have animal friends," Beth said cheerfully, "and one of them ith on top of your head right now."_

_Harold looked up, and plucked a cute, little ferret off his head. "Tempting, tempting, and tempting. I think I shall choose via way of... Mortal Brawl!"_

* * *

"Smack, bam, pow," Harold whispered, using his hands to mime out ninja moves. "You're next, Izzy!"

"You say something?" Izzy asked as she continued to try and unlock her handcuffs.

Ezekiel was looking at what was in the envelope, thoroughly confused. It wasn't a letter; it was a photo, and he wasn't sure it was someone he knew.

"What on earth is this, eh?" he asked himself.

Heather was scooting away from Gwen, as the goth girl was starting at growl in fury at her. The queen bee bumped into Ezekiel, then glared at him.

"Will you scoot away from me?" she shouted. "I don't need you anywhere near me!"

Ezekiel looked over at Geoff and whispered, "Are all girls this angry?" Geoff tapped his chin. With Bridgette sitting about four seats from him, he should choose his words carefully, lest he suffer a severe boyfriend point reduction.

"Yes," he said.

"Oh good, at first I thought it was me, eh."

"What are you mumbling about?" Heather snapped at Ezekiel. She jabbed him in the chest with her finger, then pointed at the little photo he was still holding. "And what is this? Photo from home, prairie boy?"

She bent the photo towards her, and her eyes practically bulged out of her sockets. The queen bee let out a horrible shriek that caused everyone in the chain gang to scream, and the three contestants in their cells were badly startled. Cody, who was underground in his tunnel, didn't have much time to react before his dirt ceiling caved in on him.

"Give it to me," Heather was shrieking at the top of her lungs, scratching and groping at Ezekiel. The frightened prairie boy tried to get away from her, but his shackled feet left him to topple on the ground. Heather's cuffed hands were scratching, clawing, and grabbing at him as she continued to scream.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Think she knows who that photo is of?)**

Eva - "Okay, I've heard people who've been scared for their lives who didn't scream as frantically as that girl was. ... And no, it wasn't because of me they were screaming, don't judge me!"

Katie & Sadie - "Scaaaaaaaaaaaryyyyyyyyyy."

Geoff - "... Yeah, girls can be pretty mean. Luckily, Bridgette's not the mean kind. 'Cept if you take the last slice of cake, she really hates that."

* * *

Ezekiel was scratched, bloody, and scared out of his wits as he lay panting on the ground. His toque had been knocked away, and Heather had a firm grasp with both hands on his hair.

"Where is it?" she shrieked again. "Give it to me, NOW!"

Gwen and Geoff were trying to get her Ezekiel, but when you're handcuffed, chained to the feet of someone else, and the offender has a tight grip on the victim's hair, there is quite little you can do. Bridgette stood nearby, worried but hoping this would finally show Ezekiel what she had been trying to say all this time.

"I... doo'nt have it, eh," Ezekiel whimpered.

"Don't lie to me, you cannot have lost it!"

"Well, the way you were thrashing around," Izzy commented, bouncing on the balls of her feet, "I cannot see how Zeke survived that assault, much less that little... thing he had."

"What was that thing, anyway?" Geoff asked. "Heather, you were acting like a rabid animal, and Zeke was a chunk of meat."

"It... it was nothing," Heather said, slowly releasing Ezekiel's hair.

"Um," Owen stammered, "I'm not the smartest guy, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't react like that unless it was something."

"It was _nothing_, do you hear me?!" Heather roared.

The attention from her was shifted to the door that led to the cell block, which Patrol Officer Chef had just kicked open. He was holding up a dirt-covered Cody, who was angrily crossing his arms.

"I would've made it if one of you didn't blow an air horn just a minute ago," the tech-geek shouted. "What was that, anyway? Did someone step on a cat's tail?"

"I think we're supposed to say it was nothing," Owen said, nervously looking at Heather, then at Justin. "Errrr, right?"

"That would be safest to our health," Justin agreed, then tried to look at his reflection in the handcuffs. With a sigh, he added, "These things have a terrible shine."

Cody was hooked up next to Izzy, and they exchanged a hand wave, despite being less than a foot away from each other. "You almost made it, huh tech-geek?"

"Almost did, Red."

"Guess that means it is up to Noah or Beth to win this challenge," Chris Maclean said, stroking his chin. He pondered this for a few seconds, before he turned to the campers. "How about I just call the challenge a draw, and you all vote for whoever you want?"

"Say wha'?" Leshawna exclaimed, indignant.

"You have to give Bella a try," Lindsay pointed out.

"And Noah too," Katie shouted, slapping her hands on the table.

"Dudes," Chris remarked, "it's Beth. And Noah. Trying to dig their way out of a prison by hand. And did I mention that it's only a little past noon, meaning that this could go on for about twelve more hours?"

The campers exchanged glances, looking at their handcuffs and ankle restraints. "He's right," Tyler declared, "end the match!"

When Lindsay and Leshawna looked at him disapprovingly, he shrugged. "What? I'm the one chained up next to Owen."

"What's that got to do with anything?" Lindsay asked.

"Because sooner or later," the jock whispered, "he's going to need to go..."

Owen's belly gurgled. "Oh man," he whimpered, "Tyler buddy, I wish you hadn't said that."

Tyler slapped his hands on his cheeks and screamed. "End the challenge, end the challenge," he chanted, gripping the camper on the other side of him (Sadie).

Chris scratched his head. "Well... I guess we could ask them at the next half-hour check."

"I don't think I can hold it that long," Owen said.

"You sure as hell are," Tyler replied.

Before anyone could reply, an alarm started to blare, and red lights lit up the lounge. It was almost deafening, so the campers had to clap their hands over their ears to prevent it from hurting their precious eardrums.

"Oh noes," Patrol Officer Chef declared. "One of them has managed to get outside!"

"What?!" said Duncan, incredulous. "You mean that either the lazy bookworm or the short farm girl dug their way outside in only four hours?"

"Jealous, darling?" Courtney asked him, grinning slyly as she watched her boyfriend grab his head.

"I'll say! I gotta ask them their secret!!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - No one burrows into here.)**

Chef Hatchet - "Why is it every time I think these kids are pathetic, they have to go and impress me?"

Harold - "Hmmm, looks like it's either the sorcerer or the beast master. Might be interesting to see who wins this epic battle."

* * *

Beth winced as she lifted her foot, seeing the crushed wire where her shoe mark was. "Oopsth," she winced.

"Good one, farm girl."

Noah was sitting on a makeshift catapult a few yards from her, glaring angrily at her. "I was out here, making my escape with relative ease, when you had to go and give away my location by stepping on the wire and setting off the alarm. What have you got to say for yourself?"

"Thorry?"

"Well, that makes everything better then."

He started to tie some of the bonds on the catapult even tighter. Beth marveled at the catapult, which looked like a combination of tools, parts, and logs. "How did you find the sthtuff to make thith?"

"They left it around the side of the building. You'd think a working group that could build a prison in two days would want to remember their tools, but nope. Guess they're not enchanted or anything."

Beth continued to watch him, ignoring the blaring alarms. "Wow, Noah, I never knew you had it in you to make thomething like thith."

"What on earth makes you say that, my dear farm girl?"

"Well, you're usually lazy and hate physical work, but you built a catapult."

"It's my favorite unit in RTSs, what can I say?"

Beth wasn't sure what that meant, but her thoughts were interrupted when a loudspeaker let out an ear-piercing whine, then Chris's voice blared out. "Attention, escaped convicts! Patrol Officer Chef is heading outside, and if he manages to catch you, it's over for you! Better hurry!"

"Damn it," Noah cursed, looking at the catapult. "I seriously watched to test this thing before I flung myself over the electric fence."

"You thure it'll work?"

"Yes, I just want it to work _right_," Noah pointed out.

"Why don't I try it first, to make for thetting off the alarm?"

"Oh, so that you make it over first and win the contest?"

"... I hadn't thought of it that way."

"Beth," Noah said, patting the farm girl's shoulder, "it's you or me now. Find a way, and we'll see who gets to go to Ana Vacaboc."

Beth nodded, then she noticed a flag pole nearby. It was rather crude, as the "flag" was a large, metal sign of the Canadian flag; not to mention that the rope coming down on the other side was tied to a small hook on the ground.

"I thound a way over," the farm girl shouted, running over to the flag pole. She grabbed hold of the rope, and pulled a kitchen knife out of her dirty pockets.

"Dare I ask what your plan is?" Noah said as he climbed into the cup of his catapult (which was a large strainer).

"I am gonna cut the rope, and when the metal sthign fallsth down, it'll throw me over the fence," Beth said.

"Ah, I see you smuggled a knife out of the lounge too when they gave us lunch," Noah said, holding up a knife that was in his dirt-filled pockets. "Beth, you're more cunning than I thought, kudos."

"Awww, thanks."

"Though your idea has Darwin Award written all over it."

Beth swallowed nervously as she looked at the electric fence, humming with power right next to her. "Well, you're the one in a never before tested catapult."

"Ah, touché," Noah said with a wink.

The sound of the front door to the prison being slammed alerted them both. They could hear heavy footfalls, and puddles of water nearby rippled threateningly.

"No time for intellectual battles now, which I'm sorry to say," Noah cried out, then began to saw away at the rope that tied his catapult's basket down. "Good luck, Beth!"

"You too, Noah," she cried out, sawing fervently at her rope.

The sounds of Patrol Officer Chef stomping towards them was rather daunting, and they could feel the ground tremble.

"Oh, Noah?" Beth couldn't resist one more question. "How did you manage to dig all the way out here and build a catapult tho much thooner than me?"

Noah, sawing away with one hand, grinned and held up another smuggled instrument in the other hand: a spork. "One should never leave home wtihout a spork."

"Oh, I wish I had thought of uthing a sthpork," Beth said, cursing her hindsight. "They're the bestht."

"Don't ever forget that, boys and girls."

Patrol Officer Chef rounded the corner just then, seeing the two teenagers cutting at the ropes. "Oh no," he growled. "Oh no you d-"

He never got to finish the cliché threat, as both Beth's and Noah's ropes snapped from the amount of cutting. The farm girl felt herself being yanked upwards by the rope, too fast for her brain to register. With a terrified scream, she was launched into the air, almost straight up.

"I'm gonna die now," she shrieked. "I'm gonna fricking die now! Why didn't I sthmuggle a sthpo-oooooooooooooooork?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Use the spork, Luke.)**

Chef Hatchet - "Hehehe. Did I think she would make it? When pig girls fly." \He cracks up.\

* * *

Beth, flailing her arms and screaming, landed roughly on grassy ground. With a pained moan, she rolled over and stared up at the sky.

"Did I do it?" she asked the Heavens. Rolling her head over to the side, she saw that she was on the other side of the electric fence. She gasped in joy and sat up, staring at that offending wall that was a symbol of restriction and freedom, with the crispy Garfield doll stuck on the side.

"_Wait_," she thought to herself, "_Garfield dolls are stuck on the inside of car windows, not electric fences._"

That electrified Garfield doll was Noah, who was wincing in pain as the electric fence had charred him black. The catapult he had designed had launched him directly _at_ the fence.

With a smoggy cough, the bookworm fell on his back, twitching and whimpering. "Damn...," he moaned, "prototype!"

Chris Maclean walked out at that moment, and noticed how electrified Noah was; the know-it-all still had electricity buzzing on his body. "What the hell?" was the host's reaction. "It wasn't supposed to char him! Chef, go check the power gauges on the electric fence. They should have been at about two thousand-five hundred."

Grumbling and adjusting his skirt after running so much, the large man went as asked. When he saw what the numbers read at, his face twisted in horror. "Oh crap," he muttered.

"Patrol Officer Chef," Chris called out to him, "what do the gauges say about the power level?"

"It's over nine thousand," Chef muttered.

"I'm sorry," the host cupped his ear with his hand, "what was that?"

"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!"

"WHAT, NINE THOUSAND?!!"

"I...," Noah said, twitching as another electric surge jolted his body, "am gonna... -bzzzt!-... sue you... -bzzt!-... for over nine thousand!"

"Do I still win?" Beth called out from the other side of the fence.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Use the spork, Luke.)**

Chris Maclean - "I really didn't see any of that coming!" \He stares for a second, then lets out a wild cheer.\ "And it was _awesome_! I cannot wait to see the reviews!"

\He looks around, suddenly nervous.\ "Umm... better cut to commercial, so people don't see the messy deal of Noah's medical dilemma."

* * *

_Joel is sitting at the table, looking unamused like before. The salesman with the cheesy grin is back with a bandage around his forehead, and is holding a long shovel with a bright yellow handle._

_"Hey, boys and girls and all those that watch Total Drama Island and Comeback," the cheesy grinning man said._

_"Is that some kind of new political correctness," Joel muttered, "to address people with no gender?"_

_"Do you want to prepare your backyard for obstacle courses, just like in TDI and TDC?" he said as he lifted the shovel over his head. "Then you need the Total Drama Digger!"_

_"You're encouraging kids digging up their back yards to prepare an obstacle course?" Joel asked. "You are just asking to be sued."_

_"The Total Drama Digger is used by all staff members of TDI! And just to demonstrate the incredible digging powers with it!"_

_He proceeds to dig._

_"Oh wow, that is exciting," Joel commented, quite unamused now. "A shovel that can dig."_

_"And think of all the fun you can have with it besides digging," the salesman continued. "Why, try twirling it."_

_The man did indeed twirl it with one hand. When he tried to switch it to the other hand, he hit himself on the side of the head with the whirling shovel. His cheesy grin twitching, he collapsed to the ground like a wet sack of cheesy grinning potatoes._

_Joel couldn't help but grin. "Well, now I am interested in getting one."_

_He turned to look off-screen and yelled, "Medic! Any of you got a band-aid?"_

* * *

The bonfire ceremony looked rather strange that night, with all the ex-campers still in a chain gang on the side. Katie, however, was standing next to Noah, who was lying, twitching on the gurney.

"Are you feeling any more comfortable, Noah?" she said, gripping the side of the gurney.

"I... -bzzzt!- ... feel like I... -bzzzt!- ... have reached a new level... -bzzt!- of pain! -Bzzzt!-"

"Oh, my Noah...," she whimpered, then reached to stroke his hair. She received a painful electric shock, and cried out in pain. "Ow! Hey, Chris, how long is going to be before I can touch him again?"

"Chef Hatchet said it would be about four weeks if he went without treatment," the host, standing behind his oil drum, said.

"Four weeks?!" Katie and Noah shouted, though Noah was interrupted by another painful jolt. He collapsed on the gurney in defeat, an ashen cloud rising around him like Pigpen.

"Actually, that's something we came to discuss," Cody said, approaching the other side of Noah's gurney. "See, Plaza des Losers has excellent health treatment; I would know better than anyone."

The tech-geek ran a hand subconsciously over his bear claw scar. "So, we all came to a conclusion on what to do."

"Awww, you gotta -bzzt!- be kidding me," Noah moaned, rolling his eyes. "Doing me a favor by voting me off?"

"It's about three days of recovery at Playa des Losers, they have wonderful treats for over nine thousand power level shocks," Cody said.

"But...," Katie looked forlorn now, "couldn't Beth, like give Noah her ticket to Ana Vacaboc? That place is, like, all about medicine and spa treatments and such!"

"Yeah, I told her no when she suggested it," Chris said, frowning. "If you chumps keep giving away your prizes, then we're going to get sued eventually."

" 'Going' to?!" Noah started to say, then a large surge of electricity made him shake and collapse on the gurney. "You know what? Vote me off, I'm pretty ... -bzzzt!- ... sick of this island."

"Sorry, Noah," Cody said.

"It's no... -bzzzt!- ... big deal," he replied, though he was sarcastic as ever. "I mean, I get to -bzzzt!- spend more time with Katie."

"Awwwww," Katie swooned, then, in a brief lapse of judgment, leaned over and kissed Noah on the lips. She received a massive jolt that left her clothes singed and her hair standing up.

"Wow," she said, white smoke coming from her mouth. "That was _awesome_! Sadie, did you see that? Sadie?"

She turned around, and saw that all of the ex-campers in the chain gang had been electrocuted too, because her metal, ankle cuffs conducted her to all of them.

"Behold," Chef Hatchet said morbidly, "the power of over nine thousand."

"I still cannot believe you turned it up that high," Chris said as the ex-camper chain gang recovered.

"Me?! You're the one who was overseeing the prison!"

"Hey, you were in charge of the fence, we agreed to that-"

Heather cleared her throat loudly. "Chris, can we get on with this? Please? I mean, we don't even really need to be here!"

Chris Maclean shrugged, then looked down at the plate of eight marshmallows. "Can I at least hand these out?"

"I am peckish after being in jail all day," Cody remarked.

"Alright then! Marshmallows to Bridgie, Zekie, Gwenie, Codie, Izzie, Haroldie, Bethie, and Heathie! Congratulations!"

"Did he just call me 'heavy'?" Heather growled as she snatched her marshmallow in midair.

"Noah dude, time for you to go," Chris said, gesturing to the Dock of Shame.

"Chris? I have... -bzzzt!- one thing to say before -bzzt!- I go."

"What would that be?"

"... -bzzt!- GET A GOOD LAWYER!!"

Chris flinched, then stared as Noah burst out laughing, receiving hiccuping shocks that eventually died down his laughter. "Awww, I'm kidding," the know-it-all said. "You old so-and-so!"

"Noah, you clown," Chris said, grinning back at him.

"Shake?" Noah asked, extending a hand.

"Sure!" Chris took the bookworm's hand, then received a terrible shock that left the host smoking; he collapsed in a heap with a whimper.

"HA! In your -bzzzt!- face, you big disgrace," Noah shouted as Katie helped push him down the Dock of Shame.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Watt was that for?)**

Gwen - "Is it just me, or is Chris getting hurt a lot at the end of these ceremonies?"

\She grins evilly.\ "I quite enjoy that."

* * *

Chef Hatchet poked Chris with a stick, then shrugged. "He'll pull through."

A larger boat had pulled up to the Dock of Shame, because the Boat of Losers wasn't big enough for thirteen teens, a gurney, and Owen. It took some time to pull Bridgette off of Geoff, and Gwen away from Trent. After that boat left, the little Boat of Losers pulled up.

"Alright Beth, go on your merry way to Ava Vacaboc, and have fun," the cook told her.

Beth was so excited, she cheered and hugged everyone (except Heather, but including Chris). "I cannot believe I did it," she squealed. "I never thought I could win a challenge like thith, but I did!"

"You deserve it, eh," Ezekiel told her.

"Go have a blast," Harold said.

"Bring back souvenirs," Izzy called out to her.

Beth skipped across the dock and jumped on the Boat of Losers, waving as it took her to a new destination than it normally headed off to.

"Hard to believe she did it. Still," Gwen said to Bridgette, "guess there's a lot more to her than we all thought."

"She's a real sweetheart, I hope she has fun there," the surfer agreed.

"Right, now tell me more about this guy your mom is seeing!"

As the two girls talked, heading back to their cabins, Ezekiel lagged behind, staring down at the ground. Heather, right behind him, grabbed his arm. She looked over at the others, waiting for them to be out of hearing range.

"Alright, I want you to come clean," she hissed at him. "Where is that picture?"

"I doo'nt have it," he replied, "honest!"

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. "If I find out you're lying-"

"You'll kill me, I knoo'," the prairie boy said, sighing. "C'mon Heather, give me some credit. Have I ever betrayed your trust, eh?"

The queen bee let go his arm, throwing it down. "Fine. I'll take your word. You know, Zeke, you're not worth the trouble of killing."

"That's a pretty lame insult for you, eh."

"Shut up." She stormed off, arms crossed. Ezekiel sighed, scratching his head, and discovered something was inside his toque.

"_Must have fallen in when she knocked me over in the jail,_" he said, as he removed the foreign object from his hat. It was that photo that Heather had royally freaked out on.

"_Is... is this her_?"

It was a small picture of a young girl in her tween years. The girl had braces, zits all over her face, messy hair, and was grossly overweight.

Ezekiel stared at the picture for a minute, trying to see if it was Heather, and came to the conclusion it had to be her; there was no mistaken those cool, gray eyes. Yet this girl, this young Heather, her eyes were so sad rather than piercing like now.

With a sigh, he flipped the photo around, and saw there was a message:

_If anyone can change her, it's you. She didn't used to be so mean._

_Best of luck, I'm rooting for you big time!_

_- Damien_

The prairie boy read it over and over again, wondering who Damien was. "Probably her brother," he said to himself.

* * *

Bridgette lay in her bed, lonely and disturbed. Alone in the girls' side of the cabin, she was left brooding over her thoughts. "_Is it wrong that I'm trying to discourage Zeke from seeing Heather?_" she thought.

Gwen watched Heather as the queen bee lay down, making sure Heather fell asleep before the goth did. Gwen always waited for Heather to sleep before she went out, because she didn't trust the ravenhair. "_You just wait. You're next, you bi-_"

Heather lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep, not while that photo was loose. She couldn't tell if Ezekiel had been lying, and she didn't trust him. If he showed that photo to anyone, she'd be dead meat. Worse than dead meat.

Izzy was asleep, dreaming that she was chasing a giant, green monster. The monster roared in terror as Izzy roared back, "_Get back here, you monstrous monster! E-Scope will tear you to pieces!_" Even Izzy didn't know what any of that meant.

Cody slept blissfully, his left leg kicking slightly. He was dreaming of something that always made him very happy at night: having the newest, state-of-the-art iPhone. The fact that Gwen was modeling for it, wearing a dress that had an MP3 player pattern, he started to drool in real life.

Harold snored, dreaming of him chasing Izzy around with a giant paintball gun. The redhead was screaming as the nerd roared, "_You'll regret crossing me in that jail, you evil taintress! Get back here, and Dirty Harold will have his revenge_!"

Ezekiel couldn't fall asleep. He kept glancing at the photo, and wondering how this sad, messy girl turned into the mean queen bee. Maybe tomorrow, he would finally confront her.

* * *

**Noah** - Unavailable to vote.

**Everyone Else** - Noah.

--

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah.

**Remaining Campers** - Harold, Bridgette, Beth, Ezekiel, Gwen, Heather, Cody, Izzy.

* * *

--

--

--

Sorry, Noah fans (and I'm one, so this hurts me too). This time, however, he gets the last laugh. On Chris, that is.

Damien is, according to the TDI website, Heather's prankster little brother. I figured that he does it as revenge for her being the spoiled, mean, older sister. So he, like some other characters in this story, supports Heather and Ezekiel, but only if Heather changes. A lot.

Getting pretty near the end here, isn't it? \wicked laughter\

The next challenge is going to contain something big. I'll give you a hint: about half of you are going to hate it, half are going to love it. There might be some in-between, but hate trying to divide by three, always get that annoying, never-ending number.

And remember kids, never play with fences that are over nine thousand.


	41. Day 15, Part 1: Search

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. This is wet fanfiction, please do not sit on the wet fanfiction, or you'll get fanfiction all over yourself.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Wow, the replies you all make are wonderful, even the ones that threaten me with lawsuits and death! Actually, those are fun too, it's like being a real writer! I appreciate all of your feedback, and love hearing for you! Now it's time to give you all what you want, and that is, more writing!

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback...

Last time, we locked up our contestants and threw away the key! And not just Izzy, all nine of them! We told them they had to dig their way out of a jail cell and escape from the jail to win a trip to a grand medical & spa resort!

As the contest carried on, the campers were eliminated by being caught by Chef Hatchet, ever vigilant on his patrols. It came down to Noah and Beth, and _both_ managed to escape! Noah used a handmade catapult, and Beth launched herself using the flag pole.

After the ropes were cut and the campers sent flying, Beth landed on the free side and Noah got electri-fried. With a painful recurring shock, the know-it-all was voted off by the other campers as an act of kindness.

Now we're down to eight campers, and the tension is up. Ezekiel has a photo of Heather from her days as a yucky tween, and it looks like he is anxious to seriously starting courting her. Are Bridgette and Gwen going to approve of Zeke going after Heather? Is he even going to? And has Izzy been on a wild goose chase with this jellybean smuggler (she was caught in my trailer, twice)?

Today is going to be a funny and fast for the first part, then you're due for some of the biggest drama and tension you've ever seen! Are you ready? You'd better be, because this... is Total... Drama... COMEBACK!!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 41 (Day 15, Part 1)** - The Least Dangerous Game of Them All

* * *

Ezekiel woke up, albeit very slowly and groggily. "Mmmmrgh..."

Harold was about as awake, cleaning his glasses with his shirt. "Hrrrmagh."

"Did Chris fly over us, or did we wake up on our own, eh?" the prairie boy muttered. "I'm so groggy, I cannot remember."

"I kind of woke up on my own," Harold said. "You might have woke up on your own too, or maybe it was," he yawned, "Chris's plane."

"If it was Chris's plane, wouldn't you have heard it?"

"I dunno."

The two boys were quiet for a while, then laughed. "Boy, we sure do sound stupid when we first wake up, eh."

"I'm a little thrown," Harold said. "I had this terrible dream that I was being chased by green creatures."

"I had a rather embarrassing dream too, eh," Ezekiel said, scratching the back of his head. "Um, actually, better not tell."

"Oh no, c'mon," Harold said. "Tell me."

"I dreamt that we were trapped in Total Dray'ma, Chris kept forcing us into season after season. And... I hooked up with Bridgette."

Harold blinked. "Was I still with Leshawna?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's all cool," Harold said, grinning. He put his glasses back on, and let out a long sigh. "Today's the day of a challenge, I can feel it in the back of my neck."

Ezekiel rubbed the back of his neck, then put his hands in his pockets. He felt the photo of tween Heather, and fell silent. He quickly stored the photo in his clothing drawers, then hurried after Harold, who had left for the cafeteria.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Yawning right now.)**

Ezekiel - "I'm still thinking a'boot what to do with Heather. You knoo', I doo'nt _need_ to court her, I doo'nt _need_ a girlfriend now, eh. I think I'll just tolerate her, maybe even be nice to her... but I think that's it. She's just too mean; yesterday, she tried to direct the camera into the shower when Gwen was in there.

"As for the contest, I'm too close to the finish line to have major doubt, but it'll be difficult. I'd rather see someone else win... except Izzy, because she keeps hurting me, eh!"

* * *

Breakfast wasn't too bad, in the sense that no one was puking, gagging, or on the floor whimpering for a fast death from God.

Bridgette, Ezekiel, Izzy, and Harold were sitting at one table, chatting about stuff at home. The surfer girl wouldn't stop talking about how her mother was dating again, and luckily for her, her friends weren't sick of it yet.

Gwen, Cody, and Heather sat at the other table, not saying a word. Cody was trying to talk, but Gwen wasn't in the mood. Ever since the shower incident, she had been so bitter that she didn't want to talk to anyone.

Chris watched them, smiling as if there was a great achievement he had made. "You guys look a little down. Today's challenge should be a good pick-me-up."

"I think I'd rather comb my hair with a porcupine," Gwen grumbled.

"What is it?" Izzy asked, twiddling her fingers.

Before the host could reply, the door swung open and banged against the wall with such force that it made Chris, Chef, and several of the campers cry out in surprise.

"Guys," Beth shouted, her smile practically radiant, "I'm back!"

"Hi, Beth," Gwen grumbled.

"It was a sensational trip, but it's so nice to see you all again!"

The other campers waved and nodded at her, all of them still a little jealous she had won; however, Cody noticed something about Beth.

"Hey, Beth," Cody approached the farm girl, pointing at her mouth. "Did you... did..."

The short girl nodded a great deal, and opened her mouth. A gleam from her teeth caught all eyes.

"Your braces," Bridgette declared. "You got your braces out!"

"I did," Beth cheered. "I got them out at long, long last! I made it a point to say all the stupid words that made me lisp, LISP I say, and now... I don't!"

She was so excited, she glomp-hugged Cody and squealed in joy. The other campers, except Heather, let out loud cheers for her.

"That's nice, Beth," Chris said, clapping a little, "but I was making an announcement."

"Oh Chris," the farm girl said, "the spa said that you would pick up the bill for my orthodonist treatment, among other things."

She handed him a piece of paper. He studied it, his eyes widened, then he fainted.

Now all the campers were pleased with Beth. Bridgette and Gwen were hugging her, Izzy was performing a cheerleader routine, and Harold and Ezekiel were cheering loudly as Cody held Beth up on his shoulders.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Lots of zeros, Chris?)**

Beth - \She smiles at the camera, showing off her new pearly whites.\ "Isn't it great? The dental treatment they had there was supreme, and I couldn't turn it down! No more lousy lisping... it's like I'm a new person!

"But there still is a challenge to win, and I need to keep up the hard work in order to win! So long as Heather is here, I cannot allow myself to lose!"

* * *

After Chris recovered from his fainting spell (they held breakfast under his nose), the host took a deep breath and smoothed out his hair. Beth sat with Gwen and Cody, the three all smiles now.

"Okay, people," the handsome host said, managing to smile despite the bill. "It's time you all remembered that this contest is a free-for-all, that you all are in it for yourselves!

"Heather, I want to see you pulling Gwen's hair! Izzy, you should have Zeke in a headlock! Bridgette, Beth, cat fight! And Harold... um, go insult Chef."

Bridgette sighed and drummed her fingers on her arms. "You know, if people want to work together, you cannot dissuade them."

"This is true, Bridge; however, today, you are forbidden to help each other!"

Chris held up a piece of paper to the campers in front of him. "You all are going on a little hunt, though it's vague, it's island-wide, and the judges, namely me, are picky."

"So it's a scavenger hunt?" Harold asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Chris shook his finger. "Scavenger hunts are specific, but this one is different. This is Scavenger's Judgment, where you must try to appease to the judge on a vague basis!"

"You're the one being vague," Heather exclaimed, crossing his arms. "Can't you just tell us how this challenge works?"

"Glad to," Chris Maclean said, and he handed a sheet of paper to each camper. They looked at it, confused by what the list said. Harold read it out loud:

"_Something dangerous..._

"_Something that you wouldn't want to find in your food..._

"_Something difficult to find..._

"_Something that represents Canada..._

"_Something that reminds us of one of the ex-campers..._

"_Something to be used as a weapon, but not meant to be..._

"_Something that represents you indirectly..._

"_And something that represents Total Drama Island_."

Bridgette read the list several times, confused. "What the... these are all way too vague."

"And some look too easy," Gwen remarked. "I mean, the food thing... breakfast here is something you wouldn't find in food!"

"WHAT?!" Chef bellowed from the kitchen. Gwen hunched down in her seat, shivering.

"I found something dangerous," Izzy shouted, holding up Chef's arm. In his hand he was holding a giant cleaver.

"You mean the cleaver or Chef, Izzy?" Beth asked, then she giggled. "Izzy. Izzy Izzy Izzy Izzy."

"What what what what what?" the redhead asked.

"Sorry, I just love being able to say your name without a lisp," the farm girl said, giggling.

"It's like you evolved," Heather snottily commented.

Chris whistled sharply to get their attention. "To answer your questions: the breakfast doesn't make it, Chef doesn't count, and you cannot count the cleaver either.

"Now, you can use the same item for different categories of the list, but as I'm going to be extremely picky this time around, you'd be lucky to get even two on the list from me."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Worse than Simon, eh?)**

Izzy - "I can do this, regardless of how picky Chris is! Izzy is daring herself to find one thing that fits _every_ category on this list! I can do that, I'm an excellent gatherer!

"And about the contest overall, I'm pretty sure I can win this! Who does everyone call crazy on this show? Me! And only someone truly crazy can win a contest like this!"

* * *

Chris waved the paper up in the air. "Now people, I'll be waiting right outside the cafeteria all day. You can come get your items appraised by me at any time, as many times as you can provide, and for any of the eight categories!"

"And we're not allowed to help each other?" Cody asked, looking at Gwen and Beth.

"Yep! Remember that we have cameras all over this island," the handsome host said, happily grinning. "You are to do this challenge alone, and you might want to try to be as quick as you are precise!"

"What's that supposed to mean, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "Is there a time limit?"

"Yes, at about nine PM tonight, but that's not your biggest problem. The problem is that once a person gets all eight items of the list, they get immunity.

"And once seven people get immunity, the last person is immediately booted off the island, and out of the contest; no arguments!"

"Harshness," Bridgette said, borrowing a line from her boyfriend.

Heather, on the other side, shrugged. "This doesn't seem too hard. We find a few things, we give them to you, and no help from others."

"You are so screwed then," Gwen remarked. "No imagination, no help from others... yep, you're dead."

Heather glared at her, then turned up your nose. "You're the one with no imagination, weird goth girl. You'll be walking the Dock of Shame tonight."

"Ooo, cat fight?" Izzy suggested.

"Question," Beth declared, raising her hand. "If there's more than one person who hasn't got all eight at nine o'clock, do we vote?"

"No, the person who has the least amount of successful scavenger finds will be booted off the island."

"What if they have the same amount?"

Chris blinked, then shrugged. "Okay, _then_ you can vote. Jeepers, Beth, you can have a darn cookie now."

He tossed her said cookie, and she gobbled it down. She looked very happy, and said to Cody, "No more having to pick crumbs out between my braces. I am so happy."

Chris couldn't help but smile at the radiant girl. "Okay, the Scavenger's Judgment will start in five minutes. Remember, this is island-wide, so search everywhere! I hope you are all ready!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - You can solve an easy sudoku in that time.)**

Heather - "Scavenger hunts are so childish, but I shouldn't look this gift horse in the mouth. Chris has put us through much worse, and much more painful. And a challenge that is vague rather than purposefully agonizing is preferable.

"And this contest is mine. I'd like to say to all those that were formally my allies: Lindsay, Courtney, and Duncan. You all should have stuck with me, because I am going to win. Beth, the last of my former allies, will be joining you shortly."

* * *

"Now go!"

Upon Chris's words, the eight campers left the cafeteria and began searching all over. Izzy ran into the woods, Bridgette went over to the beach, Cody went into his cabin, and the others were around the campsite.

Bridgette presented sand to Chris. "This is something you wouldn't want in your food," she said.

"No, that's something I wouldn't want in my shoe," the handsome host replied.

Cody presented a shoe. "It could be used as a weapon, like for kicking people."

"No, that'd be your foot, and I don't accept body parts."

Heather presented a rock. "That reminds me of Lindsay, because she's rock stupid."

"Ha ha ha... no."

Everything the campers tried to turn over to Chris was rejected in the first hour. It was getting rather frustrating, and all of them, even Heather, wanted some help from the others.

It was Harold who managed to get the first approval. He held up a beaver, feeding it in the meantime to appease the territorial beast. "Everyone always talks about beavers and Canada. Does this count?"

"It sure does," Chris said, slapping the nerd on the back. "Now please go return him to his home before his family comes here for revenge and eats our cabins."

Harold's victory inspired all of the others, yet Chris remained ever-picky. It was rather frustrating.

Bridgette and Ezekiel were on the beach, with the surfer girl on her hands and knees, trying to comb the sand for something interesting. The prairie boy looked down at her, and though he desperately tried not to think about it, the dream about him hooking up with her kept coming back to his mind.

"Hi, Bridge," he said as nonchalantly as possible.

She looked up and smiled. "Any luck?"

Before he could answer, she cried out in joy at a discovery. The surfer stood up, and bonked her head under his chin. He yelped in pain and clutched his sore jaw.

"Sorry, sorry," Bridgette declared. "I can be so clumsy, I'm really sorry."

"I'll be okay, eh."

As the prairie boy nursed his sore chin, Bridgette held up what she had been looking for. "It's a seashell! I think it represents me indirectly."

"You mean how it's beautiful, but the sharp points can accidentally hurt you?"

Bridgette flushed a little at the compliment, and shrugged. "It might work then?"

"Ayup yup," Ezekiel said, then started to walk off.

"Wait, Zeke!"

She hurried after him, looking earnest now. "Zeke, you're not... serious about Heather, are you?"

"No, not really, eh," he replied, sounding sincere. "She's far too mean."

"Oh good," Bridgette breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. That's nice to hear. I'm sorry for being so pushy about this-"

"Nah, it's cool, eh. It's nice to have friends that watch over you."

He waved at her as he walked away, saying, "I gotta go find something myself now, eh. Beach is yours, surfer girl!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Fun in the sun!)**

Bridgette - "I'm _so_ glad that Ezekiel isn't courting Heather. I mean, if she truly wanted to be with him, she wouldn't hurt him every time she denied that she liked him.

"You know, about the contest overall, I don't think I can win, to be honest. But I'm ready to go all the way. And besides Heather, everyone here deserves to win! Still, I could get an awesome surfboard for ten thousand dollars, couldn't I?"

* * *

Chris accepted the seashell, who also pointed out the sharp points accidentally hurt people, just like Bridgette.

Gwen was on a roll, having two of the categories cleared. Cody managed to get one clear too. Bridgette managed to get another one when she had a very angry moose chase her past the cafeteria.

"Well done Bridge," Chris called out to her, "that truly represents Canada: a moose!"

"Great, now get it away from me!!"

Stuck up on the roof of the Killer Bass cabin, she watched as the other campers try their luck with Chris's finicky judgment.

To her great surprise, she watched as Beth came with an armful of goodies. The girl dropped them all in front of Chris, who had to leap away before his feet were crushed, pierced, and/or made unhandsome.

"Beth hon," he said, shaking his head, "you cannot just gather up a bunch of stuff and try them all at random."

"No no no," she protested, "I got them all specifically! It took me two hours to get them all, but I think they all fit!

"This is a poisonous mushroom, a sea green one," she said. "Really dangerous, and it's also something you'd not want to find in your food!

"But this is worse to find in your food," Beth held up a handful of worms. "Look at these little suckers!"

"Eeesh," Chris said, flinching at the sight of them. "How could you carry those slimy things around?"

"Oh, they're not slimy, they're just squirmy," she giggled. "Also, what's difficult to find? Candy, at least on this island!"

She blew a bubble from a wad of bubble gum she had been chewing, and laughed. "It's really great, I can chew gum now! Woohoo!"

Chris accepted these first three. He denied most of the others, except for the one that was to represent an ex-camper. "This flower is so pretty... like Justin!"

The handsome host took the flower, gave it a twirl, and shrugged. "Hmmm, I guess. I miss seeing that beautiful lug."

"Don't we all?" Beth remarked with a longing sigh.

Cody was nearby and heard this. He sighed, and tried to focus on the scavenger hunt, but he kept thinking back to Beth sighing longfully over Justin.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We miss Justin too.)**

Cody - \He sighs.\ "Okay, I admit, I was really interested in Beth, and she looks so cute without her braces. But... it's just like Gwen with Trent, Justin has the looks and skills that I don't. Can't a girl appreciate a techno-wiz like me?

"You know, speaking of techno goodies, if I win this contest, I'm gonna build me the best, most advanced robot ever! I'll call it... the iCody! Anything in the name of SCIENCE!" \He chuckles, in a better mood now.\

* * *

The searches continued, and soon of them were getting frustrated. Gwen was furious, looking ready to kick Chris's butt if he turned down one more of her items; she nearly lost it altogether when she found Cody in the girl's side of the Screaming Gopher cabin.

"But I was looking for something hard to find," Cody protested as Gwen lifted the scrawny boy up by his collar.

"You weren't looking for my underwear, were you?" the goth snarled.

"No, Heather's."

"Oh! Well, okay then."

Gwen let go of Cody, and headed into the boy's side of the Killer Bass team. She started searching through Ezekiel's drawers. "C'mon, prairie boy, you've gotta have something Canadian," she grumbled as she rummaged through them. "You're the one with the thickest accent, 'eh'."

She looked over at Ezekiel's bow, and smiled. "That is dangerous. Better make sure he's got an arrow as well... aha!"

Finding a small photo in his drawer, she pulled it out and looked at it. "Whoa... that girl's rather... unsettling. Is this his sister?"

The puzzled goth girl left the Killer Bass cabin, holding the photo, Ezekiel's bow, and an arrow. She presented the bow and arrow to Chris.

"Whoa, that is dangerous," the host said. "I remember his audition tape." He then noticed what else Gwen was holding. "Who's that photo of?"

"I dunno, found it in Zeke's stuff," Gwen replied. "I think it's his sister or something." Gwen slipped the photo into her pocket and headed off to find more things.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - That was a little naughty, Gwen.)**

Gwen - "I never knew Zeke had a sibling. And she looks nothing like him. And... I expected her to wear a toque too. Meh, nothing special, I guess, my brother doesn't look anything like me.

"You know, I've probably said this before, but I do want to try to win this contest. At the least, beat Heather. That is everyone's goal, to beat Heather!"

* * *

Three hours later, the campers were still struggling. No one had seen Izzy and Ezekiel recently. While Bridgette was a little concerned about Ezekiel, most people were more concerned about what Izzy might do when left alone for hours on end.

Harold approached Chris with a confident smile on his face. The host cruelly grinned back at him. "Okay, Harold, you still only got one more to go: something dangerous."

The nerd nodded at this. So far, Chris had rejected his numchucks, poison ivy, a beehive, gummi slugs, and a very, very, very sharp blade of grass. But this time, Harold had him. He revealed what was behind his back: a chain saw.

"This has to be dangerous enough for you," Harold remarked.

"Oh I dunno, it's not too dangerous until it's on," the host replied with a sly grin.

"Gosh, you're hard to please," the lanky teenager said. He started yanking the cord on the chain saw, but Harold didn't have that kind of strength. Chris watched, very amused.

Also watching was Chef, who lost his patience fast. "For the love of spatulas, kid, let me!"

He grabbed the chain saw's handle, and lifted it up. He gave the cord one yank, and started it up.

"And that's," Chef said as the chain saw began to roar, "how you start up a... waagh!"

The chain saw was too powerful for even Chef to hold with one hand. As it roared at its most powerful, the large man let go, and it embedded itself part-way into the ground.

And, as chain saws are apt to do when halfway into the ground, it started racing around. Harold was in the pathway, and the lanky nerd screamed, turned, and ran like no other nerd had ran before.

Bridgette was in the pathway next, and she threw away the items she had in her hands (the metal soccer ball from the sports challenge, and her birdhouse from shop class). Running and screaming, the two terrified teens ran around the cabins with a roaring chain saw in the ground chasing them.

Soon, after some unfortunate luck, the chain saw had Harold, Bridgette, Cody, Gwen, and Beth running for their lives. They scurried up the side of the Killer Bass cabin, and hung out on the roof until the chain saw ran into a rock. It exploded, dying how it lived: violent.

Chris looked up at the five teenagers on the roof, clinging to each other in terror. "Harold dude, I think that seals the deal! I accept the chain saw as something dangerous, so you win immunity!"

Harold stood up on the roof and pumped his fists into the air. "Yes! Whoa... waaaah!"

He, as some might have guessed, tipped over, bounced a couple times on the roof, and crashed on the ground.

"Ouch...," he whimpered, then added, "That was fun!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Like a Harold on the roof!)**

Harold - "The first one to get immunity! Never underestimate my awesome skills!" \He takes a few ninja poses, and then settles down.\

"You know, I really think I have a shot at winning this whole contest. But the coolest thing is that I can win with one of my friends. That makes the effort overall completely and utterly awesome."

* * *

Inspired by Harold's victory, the other campers picked up their pace. It was difficult, because not was Chris being a picky judge, but the exploding chain saw was hard to top.

Cody managed to get one category, but only after thirteen attempts. He was covered in scratches, bruises, and sported a black eye.

"Never try to sneak into Chef's kitchen," he explained to Chris when asked about his injuries.

"He did that to you?!" the host asked, startled.

"No, he's booby-trapped his kitchen. But I found one more thing, something for the dangerous category."

"Oh yeah, what?"

Cody held up Groucho the Duck. Chris burst out laughing. "Oh, the duck? What's he going to do, waddle on my toes?"

Groucho the Duck pulled out a magnum revolver from under his wing and cocked it. He didn't point it at the host, but the threat was big enough.

"He doesn't like being taunted, Chris," Cody said.

"You pass, you pass, get him away from me!!"

Cody smiled, and let his feathered friend go free. With the firearm over his shoulder, the duck waddled off, proud of himself.

Bridgette came a little later, and presented a blue-and-purple flower, which she tried to explain was rare. "There aren't many flowers like this," she pleaded to Chris. "It's quite rare!"

"Then why'd you pluck it?"

"I took a fair share of the earth under it!" Chris saw how Bridgette was holding a punch bowl-amount of dirt in her arms. It was rather impressive, though the host still wasn't too impressed with the flower's rarity.

Beth came running up, holding ice cubes. "Chris! I think these ice cubes can be used as a weapon," she called out. "I mean, if you trip on one-"

And she did that, accidentally dropping one and slipping on it. She stumbled, tripped, and ran into the mound of earth Bridgette was holding. Bursting into small pieces, the dirt went everywhere.

Bridgette cried out in horror. "The flower, where's the flower?" she exclaimed, searching the ground.

Beth sat up, rubbing her forehead. The blue-and-purple flower was perched on top of her head. "Oh ow," the farm girl whimpered. "What did I run into?"

Chris chuckled. "You know what? You two both convinced me that both of those items could be used as weapons! You pass!" Bridgette shrugged, then helped Beth get to her feet. The surfer planted the flower next to the Killer Bass's cabin.

"Good luck, Beth," she called to the farm girl as the shorter girl headed off to find new items.

Bridgette also went on the search again once she was done. She ran into Gwen, quite literally, when searching around the cabins.

"Have you ever considered hiring out as a wrecking ball?" the goth girl asked as she pulled herself up.

"Geoff said the same thing to me, once," Bridgette admitted. "I told him he was silly, then I accidentally smacked him in the face when I threw my hands up in indignation."

Gwen couldn't help but laugh, and then started to head off. Bridgette watched her for a second, then something caught her eye: a photo on the ground.

"Hey Gwen, you dropped something," she called out. She picked it up and took a glance, then she stared at the photo. "Whoa... Gwen, who is this?"

As the goth girl came back, Bridgette squinted at the photo. "Is this your sister? I thought you only had a little brother..."

"I do, that's Ezekiel's," Gwen admitted. Bridgette gave her an odd stare, and the goth girl continued. "I found it in his cabin when I was looking through his things."

"Jeepers. Have you no shame, Gwen?" the blond gal asked, though there was a tint of humor in her voice. Something clicked in her head, and she asked, "Wait, you got this from Zeke's drawers?"

"Yes. You think that is his sister?"

"Zeke's an only child, Gwen. So... hey!"

She had flipped the photo over and saw the message on the back.

_- If anyone can change her, it's you. She didn't used to be so mean._

_- Best of luck, I'm rooting for you big time!_

_- Damien_

" 'Damien'?" Gwen repeated. "That's Heather's brother."

"What? How'd you know that?" "Heather said, after I slipped some salt into her drink the other day."

"Oh I remember that, she was spitting and hacking and...," Bridgette said, then snapped out of her shortly-lived joyous state. "Wait, Heather's little brother sent Zeke this photo? This... this is Heather!?"

"That's Heather?!" Gwen exclaimed. Her face lit up as if her birthday and Christmas had both come early. "Heather was a zit-covered, brace-faced, frizzy-haired girl during her tween years?"

"Apparently," Bridgette muttered. "But... Zeke told me he wasn't pursuing Heather anymore."

"Well, he hasn't," Gwen said. "Remember yesterday, when he sat at the same table she was at? She threw her breakfast at him, then mine, then Harold's, then-"

"I remember," Bridgette interrupted, sounding nervous. "But... I want to know the truth."

"The truth that I stole that from his things, which is how you found out?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "You turning me in?"

"Gwen please," Bridgette cried out, grabbing her friend's shoulders. "I really need to know. Aren't you concerned in the least? Heather will do anything to win this contest, you know that better than anyone!"

The goth girl opened her mouth, then snapped it shut when she remembered how she felt when she saw Heather kissing Trent. She frowned, then crossed her arms. "But shouldn't we try to finish this challenge first?"

"Alright, just talk to Zeke if you see him first."

"Do I have to fess up that I stole the photo, or will you take the fall?"

"Hey, you're the one who stole it," Bridgette remarked.

"So it's my ass then?"

"Yes, Gwen."

The goth girl shrugged. "Fine. At least I know he won't try to kill me. Or at least, he can't, I have his bow."

"Gwen! You stole that too?!"

"Um, yes."

"What are we going to do with you, you little klepto?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Gwen's not a bad thief, minus she admits to her crimes.)**

Bridgette - "Okay... this is a moral issue. I need to get to the bottom of this...

"Or do I?" \She sighs, and slumps in her seat.\ "I mean, is this any of my business? Should I try to interfere? I just... I cannot forgot that look on Bugsy's face when that girl hurt him so..."

* * *

Beth was sitting on the steps of the Screaming Gopher cabin, fanning herself with the paper the scavenger hunt was printed on.

"Whacha doing, Beth?" Cody asked her. "Shouldn't you be looking out there?"

"I'm done, I'm all done," Beth said, then cheered. "This is, like, one of the best days of my life! My braces off, I made Chris faint, I won the challenge, and I haven't seen Heather for hours!"

She squealed happily, then lunged at Cody and hugged him; this made his day much better.

Chris watched the two hug, then the tech-geek had to excuse himself to find the remaining items on his list. "Isn't young love cute?" he said to Chef, who was at the door.

"Makes me sick," Chef Hatchet snarled.

The host raised an eyebrow as he frowned. "You were rejected when you were young, weren't you, Chef?"

"No," the large cook shouted, then stomped into the cafeteria. A few seconds after he was out of sight, Chris was startled when Chef let out a wail of, "POLLY, WHY?!"

Gwen approached Chris, raising an eyebrow at the wail of the cook. "Anything I should know about?"

"Not unless you want to be depressed," Chris replied. "Oh, but you're a goth, you probably like being depressed."

The goth girl snarled at him. "Oh, you're so funny, Mr. Handsome Hair!"

She ran her hands through his hair, and he sat there, not amused. "I'm no stereotype, I can endure my beautiful hair being messed up a little."

"I just ran butter through it."

Chris Maclean let out a bloodcurdling scream, and ran for the communal washrooms. Gwen grinned as he panicked.

"Oh, the butter was to represent an ex-camper! Owen, to be specific," the goth girl called to him. "Do I get that one?"

Bridgette was in the communal washrooms when Chris burst in, startling the surfer girl. She had been washing her hands, and when she jumped and turned around to face the host, she ran into him.

"Move, girl, I gotta wash my hair," Chris yelled. He dove into the showers and let the water run.

"Hey, Chris," Bridgette called out, "I was looking at the soap, and I was wondering if that counts as something you wouldn't want in your food-"

"Yeah yeah sure," Chris hastily shouted.

"And I was also wondering if the toilets that we cleaned a couple challenges ago counts as something difficult to find. After all, we all know how dirty public restrooms ar-"

"Yes yes, that passes too!"

Bridgette's eyes lit up, and bolted outside. "Hey guys," she called out, "Chris is distraught over his hair! Come get some freebies while you can!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We represent Total Drama Island well, don't we?)**

Bridgette - "Was that bad of me?"

\She ponders, then grins.\ "Nah! He's so mean to us, it's nice to take advantage of him a little! I may be a nice person, but after being on a reality show for so long, I've grown a darker side. I hope my mother recognizes me when I get home."

* * *

Gwen, Cody, and Bridgette were all over the opportunity. The surfer girl completed her list, Gwen completed all but one, and Cody had two left.

"I cannot believe that worked," Gwen declared, laughing hysterically. "I said one of the threads from my top was like the province border lines, and he accepted it!"

"I pointed out the Confession Cam represented Total Drama Island, and he took it," Cody said, laughing.

"I said toilet paper would be dangerous if it was wrapped around your neck, and he agreed," Bridgette said, grinning.

Cody clapped his arms around Bridgette and Gwen, his cute, boyish grin beaming. "You two are the most clever girls I know, ya know that? This is the best challenge yet!"

Gwen and Bridgette normally wouldn't approve of Cody doing this, but they were in such a good mood and he had that sly grin (or the grin he thought was sly but was just cute), that they laughed along with him.

"Still got a challenge to complete, though," Gwen pointed out.

"Yep," Cody said, nodding. He let go of both girls, and added. "I got two more to go, and I'm not going to lose!"

He slapped Bridgette on the back. "Way to inform us on the freebies, Bridgie!"

Gwen and Cody headed off, in search of items that would complete their lists. Bridgette sat in front of the Killer Bass cabin, where Beth and Harold were sitting. Both were sporting bumps on their head from their search efforts.

"Hey guys," she said to them. "How's it going?"

"Oh, he's telling me stories about his younger sister," Beth said. "She's really mean."

"Yeah, I tolerate her," Harold said with a shrug. "I just wish that she wouldn't intentionally date guys who hate me."

Bridgette shrugged. "I'm sure she doesn't do it intentionally, Harold."

"She dated the guy at my school who was responsible for pouring maple syrup in my locker every week."

The surfer girl's eyes widened. "She really does try to date guys who don't like you?"

Harold shrugged. "Yep. Don't want to complain about it, though, there's nothing I can do."

"Maybe you can have Leshawna come over," Beth suggested, "and have her slap her!"

Harold smiled. "That'd be rather interesting. And I know Leshawna can take her. What do you think, Bridgette? ... Bridge?"

The surfer girl was staring at the ground, looking very upset. She sighed bitterly and leaned against the handrail. "I just... no, nothing."

"Hey, Bridgette, lighten up," Harold said, patting her shoulder. "You should be happy. You passed the challenge, your mom's dating someone nice, what could be better?"

"I guess I cannot be happy," the surfer girl admitted, "until Heather is off the island."

"You speak for all of us," Beth said.

"And a good deal of the reviewers," Harold added.

Beth and Bridgette looked at him strangely. "The reviewers on the TDC website," he explained. "They have a poll on who they wanted voted off next. And Heather's always been on top."

"Goody," Beth said. "If only the viewers had the ability to vote."

"Well, they probably would have as much trouble getting rid of her as we do," Harold said, chuckling.

They were silent for a minute, then Beth spoke up. "Guys, I actually have a... a problem right now."

"What is it, Beth?" Bridgette asked.

"Well, I have... romantic problems," Beth admitted. "I really like Cody, and he's a great, supportive friend of mine... but I also have this crush on Justin. And I think he likes me too."

"Oh Beth," Bridgette said, tapping her fingers together, "I'm not sure about Justin. He's attractive and all, but do you really know much about him?"

"That's the problem," Beth said, looking glum. "I haven't had any chance to talk to him. He was voted off so soon, and I haven't really had a chance to talk to him during the times he's visited... but he did say I looked cute on the Final Ten's Ten Finals challenge."

"Whoa... he speaks?" Harold asked.

"He said that?" Bridgette asked, then smiled. "That was nice of him. Maybe you should chat with him after the show is over."

"After it's over?" Beth repeated. "Why that long? You think I can win this?"

"Sure, the audience has never had you high up on their 'vote off' poll, you stand a high chance," Harold said.

Beth giggled, then looked over at Bridgette. "Do you think Cody's okay, though? He is a bit of a techno-buff, but he's so friendly and supportive!"

Bridgette thought about it, but before she could answer, Cody approached the three of them. "Hey ladies and Harold," he said, "whacha talking about, huh?"

"N-Nothing," Beth stammered. "Not much!"

"Hey Cody," Harold said, waving. "How goes the search?"

"I'm done," said the tech-geek flexing his muscles. "I managed to complete them all!"

"Good work," Bridgette said, smiling at him. "Oh, and have you seen Ezekiel or Izzy?"

Cody lost his smile and shook his head. "No, sorry. I haven't seen them anywhere, nor Heather."

"Oh, we don't care that much about Heather," Beth said bluntly. Cody scratched the back of his head.

"Well, I don't care too much for her either, but I don't like to think something bad might have happened to her and no one was around to help."

Bridgette thought this was just Cody being his usual lady-loving attitude, but then she remembered something about him that wasn't hormone-driven. "Oh, you mean like your bear attack?" the surfer asked.

"Yeah," the tech-geek said, sitting down next to them. "I wouldn't want anything like that to happen to anyone here."

"Oh I dunno, I'd love to see Heather shipped out of here in a full-body cast."

Gwen approached Cody from behind, Chris right next to her. The goth girl smirked at the tech-geek and said, "You do remember what she did to make me think you voted Trent off?"

"That was some of the best drama we've ever had," Chris said, chuckling.

"You're a deep man, Chris Maclean," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Deep as a puddle."

"Deep as a soda can," Harold added.

"Deep as a soap dish," Beth added.

"Okay okay, I get it," the host exclaimed, holding up his hands. "Yeeeesh, you teenagers are so touchy."

"Whatever," Gwen said. "Look guys, I completed my list of scavenger hunt items. Guess it's down to three others now."

"Izzy, Zeke, and Heather," Chris listed off. "And none of them have turned in anything that's been accepted. Remember, the last person to turn in stuff will be kicked off Wawanakwa Island for good!"

"Let's all pray it's Heather," Beth said.

"Can we literally kick her?" Gwen asked, grinning slyly.

"I wonder where those three are," Cody said, looking around. "Maybe Izzy's dressed up as a bear again?"

"Did somebody say my name?"

Izzy peaked around the corner of the Killer Bass cabin, grinning like she normally grins: gonzo, psycho, wild 'n crazy girl. "Ooo, are you all waiting for me? That's so nice of you, like how the mailman always asks if I'm home whenever he gives a package to my parents. He looks so scared when they say yes-"

"Izzy," Chris cut her off, knowing it would be a long story otherwise. "Do you have something for the scavenger hunt?"

"This," the redhead said, holding up a rope that led to behind the Killer Bass cabin.

"A rope?" Gwen asked. "That's all?"

"No, I mean him!"

Izzy pulled hard on the rope, revealing her entry: a bear. More specifically, the brown bear that inhabited Wawanakwa Island, with the rope around its neck. The campers, Chris, and Chef Hatchet all let out loud screams.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - How grizzly!)**

Izzy - "Oh, they so overreacted. It was only a bear. A four-hundred pound bear with claws and razor teeth, but just a bear nevertheless!"

* * *

"Oh come down from there," Izzy called out to her fellow campers, the cook, and the host, who were all on top of the Killer Bass roof. Beth and Cody were clinging to each other in fright, Bridgette was peaking out from behind Gwen's shoulder, and Chef Hatchet was hiding behind Harold (who was in bear-style kung fu pose).

"He's harmless," Izzy insisted. She was holding a bag full of marshmallows, and tossed one to the bear, who snapped it up happily. "Feed this bear a marshmallow, and he's tame as a duck!"

"The last duck I saw," Chris whimpered, "had a loaded gun ready for me."

"Well, I managed to do it, Chris Maclean," the crazy girl continued. "I managed to find something that fit all eight categories!"

"How do you figure that?"

"My bear here is dangerous, no one will argue that; you wouldn't want to find him in your food or his fur, he's got really thick fur; he was really difficult to find, he wasn't even in his cave...

"He represents Canada, we're proud of our bears; he's a lot like Owen, big and lovable and huggable...

"He could be used as a weapon, but bears aren't exactly used by heroes and such; he represents me, as I am one of the most dangerous, fierce creatures there is; and finally, he represents Total Drama Island, because he's been around as long as we have! He's practically family!"

Cody swallowed hard. "He's the family member who hates me." Chris wasn't entirely sure he wanted to give Izzy all of the categories with one item, but he was worried she might become vicious like she had just claimed, and leave the bear there under them.

"Alright," he said, sighing in defeat, "alright, you win, Izzy the Bear Tamer. You get all of them in one go! Now get that bear outta here!"

Izzy started dancing in victory, and took the collar off the bear. "You're free, Fuzzy Wuzzums. Go home now."

She, tearing up, held the bag of marshmallows up to the bear. "Here you go, you big lug. Keep in touch."

The bear, also tearing up, took it, gave her a bear hug, and then started to walk away. He stopped, then plopped down against the Screaming Gopher cabin and popped the marshmallows into his mouth, one by one, slowly.

"I don't think he's going to leave until he's done eating them," Izzy called up to them.

"Well, we'll wait up here then," Chris said.

"Aw c'mon, he's friendly!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Can you bear Izzy's insanity?)**

Gwen - "Just how does she do that?!"

Cody - \smiling\ "Izzy is something else, isn't she?"

Bridgette - "It's impressive and frightening at the same time."

Chris Maclean - "Note to self: do NOT allow any more psycho girls in the next season."

* * *

With the bear leaning against the Screaming Gopher cabin, the campers, host, and cook were still nervous, but brave enough to come down from the roof.

"So now it's just going to be between Ezekiel and Heather?" Chris asked, making a quick head count. "And neither of them have turned in anything acceptable yet!"

"Maybe they're trying to find Fuzzy Wuzzums too," Izzy suggested. "But I thought of it first, I got the original idea! Woohoo!"

"Have you all seen either of them?" Cody asked. "Izzy, did you see them?"

"Nope. Izzy the Bear Tamer worked alone this time."

"I'm a little worried now," Bridgette admitted. "I mean, they should have come back at least once."

"Aww, maybe they're coming back with armfuls of stuff," Gwen said. She patted the surfer girl's shoulder. "Zeke's fine, even if he does hate the outdoors."

"I'd be more worried about Heather," Chris said. "She's the indoor type."

"We don't really care about Heather," Beth said, crossing her arms. "She wouldn't care about us."

"Look, they got two and a half hours until nine PM," Chef Hatchet pointed out. "No need to get picky. I'm gonna go make dinner."

"That'll make us really picky," Harold whispered to his friends. They all giggled under their breath.

Dinner came and went, as did their appetites. The six campers talked among themselves in the cafeteria, about school, friends, family, and other things.

At nine, Chris entered the cafeteria and said, "Well, it's nine PM, and neither of them are here."

"So we get to vote?" Beth asked, looking excited. "Oh, it's so easy then! We vote for Heather! No one here would vote for Ezekiel over her!"

Cody, Izzy, and Harold cheered. Gwen nodded and said, "It's time to finally do what we should have done on the third challenge during Total Drama Island."

Bridgette still looked worried. "But they should be back by now!"

Chris tut-tutted, shaking his finger. "I'm gonna give both of them a chance, since this would be too easy for you two."

"Oh, come on," Beth shouted, looking indignant. "Why are you giving Heather a chance? Are you trying to keep her on this show or something?"

"She does provide good conflict," Chef Hatchet said from the kitchen. "If it wasn't for her, your main source of strife would just be the challenges, and then you'd all be holding hands and singing Kumbiya!"

"I hate that song," Harold muttered. "They made us sing that all the time in Possum Scouts!"

"If I may continue," Chris snapped, "I will appraise what Heather and Ezekiel bring back, and whoever wins gets to stay."

"Whatever," Gwen said, shrugging. "I'd put money on prairie boy over that rich witch any day."

So they sat in front of the cafeteria, the campers, the host, and the cook. After about fifteen minutes, Chef Hatchet got tired of waiting and went to bed.

After about an hour, Bridgette was in full-worry mode. Cody was wringing his hands, and Beth was biting her nails.

"Don't do that, hon," Izzy said, patting her shoulder. "It becomes a nasty habit."

"I'm so worried," the farm girl admitted. "Aren't you worried, Izzy?"

"Izzy's very worried. Heather isn't too nice, but Izzy doesn't like bad things to happen to people she knows. And Zeke is dear to Izzy, even if Zeke is terrified whenever Izzy is in the same room as her."

Another hour past, it was a little after eleven. Fuzzy Wuzzums had finally finished the marshmallows, and headed back into the forest. Gwen, who hated staying up ever since the Awake-athon last season, had to go to sleep; it was mostly because she now felt safe without a four-hundred pound bear with claws and razor teeth right outside the window.

The goth girl hugged Bridgette in comfort before going to bed. "Don't stay up too late, I'm sure Zeke will be alright."

Beth was also too tired to stay up late, and had to go to sleep. "Sorry," she said as she followed Gwen back to the cabins.

After midnight, even Chris seemed to be a bit concerned. "This wasn't supposed to be that deep of a challenge," he said, shaking his head. "Where could they have gone off to?"

Harold tapped his lips in thought. "Maybe they just got a little lost in the woods or something. I sure neither of them went in deep, they both hate the outdoors."

Cody took a deep breath, close to nodding off. "I gotta go to bed too, Bridge. I'm sorry, I'm way too tired, and it's past one AM now."

"It's alright, Cody, no one's asking you to stay awake."

"Maybe they're making out somewhere," Izzy suggested, grinning.

"Izzy, don't make feel sick as well as scared as hell," Bridgette said, shaking her head.

"Do not be nervous," Izzy said, dangling her arms around the surfer's shoulders. "They cannot possibly be gone much longer. I am sure they will be back any minute now."

But they didn't come back. Well into the next day, neither Heather nor Ezekiel had come back to the camp.

* * *

--

--

--

**Part 2 approaching soon! Dun-dun-DUUUUUUN!**

So what's happened to Heather and Ezekiel? You'll all find out soon. Coming up will be something you've all been dreading and/or anticipating.


	42. Day 15, Part 2: and Rescue

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. This is wet fanfiction, please do not sit on the wet fanfiction, or you'll get fanfiction all over yourself.

* * *

**To Everybody** - You should all know that this chapter is, for the most part, very serious. Sorry for all those that come here for the humor. I promise, the next challenge will have much more humor, craziness, and insanity.

Just this time, things are going to be quite dramatic. I'll make some booger jokes next chapter to make up for it.

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 42 (Day 15, Part 2)** - The Answer to the Ultimate Question

* * *

_Cynthia smiled as she looked at the completed dinner. "Zeke honey," she called out, "dinner is ready!"_

_John adjusted his toque, sitting at the end of the table. "Where is he, anyway?" the man said, drumming his fingers on the table. "I haven't seen him all day, eh."_

_"I think he's probably in his room," she said, "and take off your toque at the dinner table, John, you'll encourage him!"_

_"Nothing wrong with wearing a hat at the table, I doo'nt knoo' why women find that so rude."_

_"Doo'nt you start on that," she replied, then sighed. "I'm not really in the mood."_

_"What's wrong, eh?"_

_"Well, it's Ezekiel. He's been acting more and more distant. I doo'nt knoo' if public school was the best way to go for him, eh."_

_Ezekiel's father shrugged. "Oh, he's just adjusting, eh. Maybe he's not getting along with most of the kids yet."_

_"Maybe, but... Zeke," his mother called out again. "Where is he, eh? He's never late for dinner."_

_John scratched his head underneath his toque. "Should I go get him, eh?"_

_"Please do," Cynthia replied, then took a deep breath. "I'm actually woo'ried now, eh."_

_"I'm sure it's just your imagination."_

_He left the table and looked in Ezekiel's room; he wasn't there. His father looked around the house, wondering where his son could be._

_"Zeke? Zeke boy," he called out. "C'mon, you have to eat, bud'day. Where are you?"_

_He heard something from the master bedroom, where he and Mary slept; it was right next to the dining room. Entering, rather confused, he looked around his own room until he heard a soft sob come from the closet._

_"Zeke?" his father said, opening his closet._

_Ezekiel, six years old, was huddled up in there. His little toque was almost covering his eyes, which were red and soggy from a good deal of crying. The little boy was shaking hard, staring at the ground._

_"I want to die," little Ezekiel sobbed, hiccuping every word. He looked up at his father and said, "Doo'nt send me back to school, please... I'd rather... I want to die!"_

* * *

Ezekiel woke up with a startled cry. His whole body ached, and his head was pounding like if a sledgehammer was trying to bust open his skull.

"_Oh man, what was that, eh?_" he thought, as he slowly reached up to grab his head with one hand. "_I doo'nt remember anything like that... was it a nightmare or..._"

He stopped when his hand came back wet. Blood? More than likely, it was thicker than water. If only it was brighter...

The prairie boy blinked, then looked around. He was trapped down a hole, possible twenty, thirty meters deep. It wasn't that wide, so he was very bunched up with the sticks, leaves, dirt, and the other human being with him.

He could hear her breathing, moaning in her unconscious state. Was she okay? The prairie boy picked himself up, very sore but no shooting, sharp pains. He managed to crawl over to the girl.

"Heather?" he whispered, nudging her shoulder. "Heather. Heather, are you alright, eh? Heather!"

She stirred, her eyes blinking. The moment she was fully conscious, she shrieked. Ezekiel clapped his hands over his ears, cried out in pain, and scurried back.

"Shut up, eh," he screamed, his head almost exploding in pain. "Heather, stop it!"

"What happened?" she cried out. "Where are we?"

"Bottom of a hole," Ezekiel replied, moaning in pain. "Please, notch doo'n the volume, eh."

Heather was frantic, and her thrashing legs kept kicking Ezekiel's hips and legs; they were that close to each other by force. "How did this happen? Wait..."

She snarled, and though Ezekiel couldn't see her face, he knew what she looked like. "This is all _your_ fault! You stupid, son of a-"

"Heather, _please_ stop shouting," he exclaimed, starting to whimper in pain. "My head... oh ow..."

"I outta kill you," she snarled. "First you cause me to fall in this hole, then you're leering over me and pawing me-"

"I was checking to see if you were alright, eh."

"Yeah, right," she scoffed. "When we get out of here, you are so dead."

Ezekiel rubbed his head, getting more blood on his fingers. "_How did we get doo'n here a'geen, eh?_" he thought. "_Oh... oh right._"

* * *

_Heather was roaming inside the forest, still able to see the campgrounds from where she was. She picked up a pine cone, then angrily tossed it over her shoulder._

_"This is ridiculous," she complained to herself. "Everything I bring him, he'll reject. What a jerk."_

_The bushes rustled next to her, and she froze. Looking around slowly, she saw a raccoon leap out of the bushes. "Chir chip?" it squeaked._

_Heather let out a shriek, and ran away from the small, spry creature. Loving to torment screaming girls, especially this loud girl, the raccoon gave chase._

_About fifteen minutes of screaming and chasing, Heather ran directly into Ezekiel. The two collapsed on the grassy ground, tangled up._

_"Ow," Heather moaned, then she looked up and saw who she had run into, and added, "Ewwwww!"_

_"Hey, you ran into me, eh," he replied, rubbing his stomach. "Got me right in the gut, too."_

_"Suck it up," Heather told him. "Great, now I'm lost in the forest. With you!"_

_"You're not lost, eh. I knoo' exactly where we are."_

_He stood up, and extended his hand to her. With great resentment, she accepted it. When he pulled her up, there was an approving chatter from nearby. The raccoon was nodding, grinning, and giving the prairie boy a thumbs-up._

_"I'll help you get 'oot of here, but that's all, eh," he said. "I cannot help you with the challenge though."_

_"I wasn't going to ask you for your help."_

_"I heard you complaining, sounds like you needed it."_

_"Oh, you stupid, ignorant, perverted..."_

_Heather's insult stream stopped when she heard low growling behind her. She turned around and saw a great, gray wolf standing there, the fur on its back standing up._

_"Crap," she whimpered, backing up._

_"Doo'nt move," Ezekiel told her. "Stand your ground, he won't go after us if we..."_

_A couple more wolves approached, all eyeing the two hungrily. Before they could form a circle around them, the prairie boy yelled, "Run," picked up a rock and chucked it at the nearest wolf._

_Heather was so paralyzed with fear that she couldn't take a step, so Ezekiel grabbed her arm and yanked her away. The wolves chased after them, and they were fast._

_"Back to camp," Ezekiel shouted. "We need to get back to camp, and-"_

_He was cut off when the ground gave away under his feet. He heard screaming, maybe him, maybe Heather, and he hit his head against the side of the hole, hard. His world spun, then he landed, painfully. A crashing of sticks and dirt around him were all he could remember before fading out._

* * *

"Would you rather have been wolf food?" the prairie boy asked her.

"You led us right into a pit," Heather shot back. "You said you knew the way back to camp."

"Well, the way to escape the wolves wasn't the way I got there, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Whatever. I'm not talking to you anymore, not until we're rescued."

She crossed her arms and looked away. Ezekiel couldn't see this, but the sounds of her movements were clear enough.

"Fine, eh," he said, then sighed. "Of all the people to be trapped doo'n a hole with, it just _had_ to be you, didn't it?"

* * *

"Where are they? They could be lost or hurt or... or..."

Bridgette was panicking now. Only she, Harold, Izzy, and Chris Maclean were awake. The surfer girl was tired, but her fear was keeping her awake.

"Izzy wonders where they went," said Izzy (of course). "Do we have tracking devices on them?"

"You kidding?" Chris said. "Those things are expensive."

"How about the cameras?" Harold asked. "Can't you check them to see if you can find them?"

"Sure sure, make me do all the work," the host said, sulking off. "Gosh, you people are so demanding when your friends are missing."

Bridgette sat on the steps of the cafeteria, wringing her hands. She sunk her head in-between her knees, sobbing silently. Harold approached her from behind, and massaged her shoulders.

"Bridge, stay calm, they'll be okay," he said. "I mean, Fuzzy Wuzzums the bear was in Izzy's care most of the day, so they couldn't have been attacked."

The surfer girl took a deep breath, then looked up. "I... I cannot help be think this is all my fault. I kept telling Ezekiel to leave Heather alone, and he probably went to go talk to her or something-"

"Don't blame yourself," Izzy said. "How can you be blamed for their disappearance when you weren't directly responsible?"

"Yeah, we can blame Heather," Harold said. "This has got to be her fault somehow."

Chris came back, looking baffled. Bridgette's look went from hopeful to crestfallen. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's the weirdest thing," Chris said. "I couldn't find them on any of the footage on the cameras, safe for a small glimpse of Ezekiel; I think he was heading for the forest, but I cannot be sure. And a good deal of the cameras in the forest... stopped filming early afternoon yesterday."

"What?" Harold exclaimed. "How's that possible?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It's a mystery! Jinxies!)**

Raccoon - \The gray creature is standing in the Confession Cam, holding a great deal of disconnected cameras over his head and looking very happy. He speaks in Raccoonian.\

"ha ha ha, i was in yur forest, stealin yur kamerahs! now tuque boy an loud grl can make out n peece!"

* * *

Ezekiel was starting to get seriously irritated, as Heather filing her nails was making his headache grind in pain. "Can you please stop?" he asked.

She ignored him. He asked several more times, but she wouldn't acknowledge him at all. Finally, he couldn't take it. The toque-wearing teenager leaned forward, yanked the nail file out of her hand, and broke it in half.

"How dare you," Heather shouted, making Ezekiel's headache throb like crazy; he could see spots in front of him for a few seconds.

"Heather, could you be... bearable for a few minutes?" he asked.

She shook with rage. "You... you don't get to speak to me like this! You can't treat me like this!"

"Heather, please," Ezekiel pleaded, sounding desperate. "I am seeing spots here, I cannot take loud noises."

"Aww, why's that?"

"I... I think I have a concussion, eh."

"Oh really?" she scoffed. "Did you bump your widdle head?"

"There's blood, and I'm dizzy, and every time you raise your voice, I feel like it's going to explode like one of those zombies getting headshot in the B-movies-"

"I get," Heather interrupted, "the point. Okay, so you have a bump on the head. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, first off, stop yelling, eh."

The queen bee scoffed again. "Fine, whatever."

"But actually... keep talking, eh."

"What? First you ask me to stop talking, then you want me to keep talking-"

"No, I asked you to stop yelling, eh. Talking would be great, because I shouldn't drift off again."

"And why's that?"

"Doo'nt you knoo' anything a'boot concussions, eh?"

"Noo, I doo'nt, eh."

Ezekiel rolled his eyes, and all he could feel was pain and dizziness as a result. He gripped his head and winced in pain, then things began to swim and darken.

* * *

"We've... we've got to go searching for them," Bridgette declared.

The other campers had woken up, and now frantically was trying to rally the others.

"Bridgette, this island is huge," Chris said, rubbing his temples. "It'd take days with a good search party, more time with the little amount of people we have. I'm gonna go to bed. Chef, take over."

"You can't go now," Bridgette shouted. "Ezekiel and Heather are still out there, you have to help them!"

"Yeah well, I haven't slept, I stayed up all night. Can't think without a clear head, don't you know? Later, dudes!"

Gwen stomped her foot, and shouted, "You evil, heartless has-been, get back here!"

"Oh let him go, he won't help us," Harold said, forcing back a yawn. "What are we going to do?"

The six campers looked over at Chef Hatchet, who looked startled. "I...," the large and suddenly very vulnerable looking cook stammered, "I don't know exactly what we can do."

"Oh come on, you help Chris with everything around here," Beth shouted. "You've got to know something!"

Chef nervously tapped his fingers together. "Errr, well, a little with the computers, what they can do-"

"Leave that to me," Cody shouted, thumping his chest. He hacked and coughed from his own blow, and straightened himself out. "I can work the computer and use any systems Chris has on that thing!"

"You can do that?" Beth asked.

"If he cannot, I can," Harold said, then yawned. "I... I can stay awake for this."

"No, Harold, you get some sleep," Izzy instructed him, shaking a finger. Her green eyes, also heavy from exhaustion, looked over at Bridgette. "Bridge, you too."

"What? No," the surfer began to protest. "I... I... need to stay up for this."

"You're falling over as you speak, girl," Izzy said, also slouching over. "Izzy knows best."

"We'll wake you if anything happens, Bridgette," Gwen said, hugging her friend. "Just get some sleep, you were up all night."

Bridgette nodded, letting Izzy guide her to the Killer Bass cabin. "Izzy would love to see inside of the KB girls cabin. You got an aquarium in there, surfer girl?"

"No."

"A shark?"

"No."

"How about a live shark?"

Harold shambled over to the cabin too, holding his head and muttering, "Gosh," to himself. Cody was already heading towards the camera tent, led by Chef Hatchet.

"Don't break anything, kid," he grumbled to Cody.

"Machines are like my babies, I could never harm one."

* * *

"Zeke! Zeke! ZEKE!"

"Gaaaah! God damn it, didn't I tell you not to yell?"

Heather's hands were on his shoulders, shaking him. She was panting from apprehension, but that died away almost completely when he replied.

"Don't do that," she snapped at him as she let go. "You started moaning in pain, and I thought you were going to die for a minute there."

"Soo'ry to disappoint you, eh," he grumbled as he rubbed his throbbing head.

"Well, you're the one saying you wanted to die."

Ezekiel froze. "What?"

"You were mumbling, 'I want to die, I want to die'," Heather told him. "What's that about?"

"I actually doo'nt knoo'," he admitted. "I doo'nt even knoo' if it was real or not, eh."

Heather sat down opposite of him, trying to get comfortable; it wasn't likely, because the bottom of the hole was still full of dirt and sticks. "Sounds rather sad."

"Oh, you're loving this, aren't you?" Ezekiel shot back. "Here I am, bleeding and moaning in pain, whimpering how I want to die. You're just dying to tell the others a'boot it, aren't you, eh?"

"Right," Heather scoffed. "Your friends are going to be thrilled to hear you were in agony while I was fine during the whole disaster; I'm sure they'll see it that way."

Ezekiel could have sworn he detected something in her voice, something she didn't want to project but did. Was it sadness?

"They're going to be looking for both of us, you knoo' that?" he said. "They won't stop until they find us."

"They're looking for you, not me," she replied, bitter. "They'd let me rot in this hole if given the chance."

"No, they wouldn't do that. They may not like you, but they wouldn't leave you to die, eh." The queen bee scoffed again, leaning against her side of the hole. "What makes you so sure of that?"

"They're good people, eh. Bridgette and Beth are two of the nicest people I knoo', Harold and Cody wouldn't leave others behind, and even Gwen would help someone 'oot."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."

"What is it a'boot you that makes you not trust others, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "Can't you trust people?"

"People let you down."

Ezekiel blinked. To him, this was way too broad of a statement. "So, according to you, everyone on this planet is doomed to never be trustworthy, ever?"

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm not, I'm just trying to find 'oot why you hate others so much."

"You know why."

Ezekiel was silent for a few seconds. He heard Heather squirm uncomfortably on the other side. The prairie boy tried desperately to think about what she was getting at.

"Is it a'boot that picture?"

"Duh."

"Look, Heather, I'm no expert on psychology," he said. "I can barely grasp why I do some of the things I do, eh. But why would you being not so attractive earlier in your years lead you to hate everyone?"

"You wouldn't understand, home school. I don't want to talk about this any more." Ezekiel drummed his fingers against his knuckles, trying to think over the throbbing headache. "Was it because other kids were mean to you?"

"Shut up!"

He rubbed his temple as a burst of pain came with the shout. Sighing, he looked over to where she was. "Heather, you cannot hide from this forever."

"Just shut up," she said, but much softer this time. "I don't want to talk about those times. Can't you understand that?"

"Would it help if I told you something a'boot my past first, eh?"

Heather, who was taking deep breaths, was shaking her head. He couldn't see it, and she knew that, and when she finally forced out the words, she found herself saying, "Yes."

"_What am I doing?_" she thought, screaming at herself. "_I'm trusting this home schooled redneck? Damn it, Heather, don't be foolish! Don't be-_"

"I was a'boot six at the time," the toque-wearing teenager began. "I actually was being sent to public school for first grade."

"I thought you were always home schooled?"

"No, not at first, eh. Anyway, it was just for a'boot a week, eh. The other kids weren't so nice to me, and there was this one girl I liked-"

"And let me guess, she broke your little six year-old heart."

Ezekiel scowled. "Heather, quit being so rude."

"Aww, why? Hurt your feelings?"

"That's it, forget it," he snapped, turning away from her. "I doo'nt knoo' why I tried. You're such a bitch."

Heather let out a 'whatever' sniff and dismissed him with a wave. Though she was calm on the outside, on the inside, both her mind and her heart were screaming at her.

* * *

Cody sighed as he fiddled with the computer that Chris Maclean used for the technological gizmos on the island.

"Okay, I'm sick of typing these mile-long codes," the tech-geek shouted, slamming his fist on the table. "Can someone get my computer? I've got an adapter in my bags."

"I'll get it, Cody," Beth declared, running out of the camera tent. "What's that for?" Gwen asked.

"It's so I can do this stuff on my computer," Cody explained. "I can get this stuff done a lot faster with my own mods and extensions."

Gwen blinked, then shrugged. "Um, sure. Are you making any progress?"

"Not really. I wish I had a life signs detector."

"Cody, this isn't Star Trek."

"I know, but I really hoped he had some kind of radar or," Cody stopped, then turned around to smirk at Gwen. "Wait a minute, how'd you know life signs detectors come from Star Trek?"

"My brother watches it, and I had to watch it when he was younger," Gwen admitted. "Not bad, but I'm not much of a science-fiction fan."

"Awww. I guess that's why we'd never would have been a good couple."

Gwen couldn't help but smile. Remembering the urgent situation, she shook her head and said, "Just try to find something useful, Cody. Chris has to have something useful among all these gadgets."

* * *

Ezekiel moaned as his headache began to throb harder, now that he wasn't concentrating on talking to Heather. Soon the pain became too much, and he was letting out pained groans with every breath.

Heather tried to ignore it, but it wasn't easy. Not only was he just two feet from her, but his pained groans were making her feel... guilty. It wasn't something she hadn't felt in a long time, but the sound of him suffering was making her feel that way now.

It was getting very cold down in the hole, and Heather started to shiver. Her skimpy top was nowhere near enough to keep her warm. Her weakness to cold was making her shiver and her teeth chatter.

"Is it really that bad, eh?" Ezekiel suddenly asked her.

"I really hate being cold," she admitted.

She heard him rustle, then something thick landed on her legs. "Here, eh," he said, "maybe giving you my jacket will stop your whining. For once!"

Heather picked up the jacket, then slowly put it on. It was indeed warm, and she felt better. On the outside, that is. She felt like something was eating her alive from the inside.

"_Oh no,_" she thought, almost panicking. "_Is this... guilt? I never thought... God, this is a terrible feeling._"

It took her a couple minutes, but she finally managed to say it. "Zeke?"

"What?"

"I... I am...," she stammered. This was a word she had never used in sincerity, and it was most unsettling how much more difficult it was to say it that way. "I'm sorry."

Ezekiel was quiet for a few seconds, then said, "You mean that?"

"I guess," she mumbled, barely audible. "Do you want your jacket back?"

"Nah, you keep it for now, eh. But I'm keeping the toque, alright?"

"Fair enough, I'm not much a hat person."

Ezekiel let out a chuckle, then moaned in pain. "This headache is getting to be so bad."

"You want to try talking again?"

The prairie boy shrugged. "Fine, as long as you play nice."

"So, what happened with that girl in first grade?"

"You mean Rachel?" She nodded. "Well, exactly what you said, actually. She was pretending to be nice, or maybe she was and was pressured into being mean, and then she just got really mean one day, eh.

"I vaguely recall her doing something like spitting in my face, but it was so long ago."

"And that's why you went to being home schooled?"

"Ayup yup." Heather was quiet for a couple seconds, then let out a long sigh. "Ezekiel, if I tell you something, you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Of course, eh. Not woo'ried a'boot cameras?"

"Like any cameras could pick us up down in this hole," the queen bee scoffed. "Well, Zeke, you got that photo of me, so you know I wasn't always this good looking."

"Hmm-mmm."

"It was during my junior high years, and just like your first grade years, kids were the meanest little bastards you've ever seen. So when I graduated from middle school, I begged my parents to send me to a different high school than the other kids were going to go.

"And then, during that summer vacation, I, as I like to say, transformed."

The queen bee crossed her legs, remembering those glorious days. "I lost weight, I got my braces out, and my face cleared up. At the new high school, I was popular overnight. I was the person that used to make fun of me in the hallways among every pass."

"And you became just as cruel and mean as they did, eh?"

"No," she protested. "... Yes."

"Seems like popularity is a nasty business, eh."

She sighed, then let out a bitter chuckle. "You're home schooled. You don't know how popularity truly works, and how other teens act among each other."

"This is true, eh," he agreed. "But why did you have to become mean? Why couldn't you use your powers for good and not evil?"

Heather started laughing. "You're kidding, right? That sounds like something from a comic book."

"Yep, I'm a hoser, eh," he replied, smiling. "So, why didn't you?"

"That's not how popularity rolls, Zeke. You cannot be a sweet sucker like Beth, a lovable surfer like Bridgette, or... like Gwen. You have to have looks, you have to be domineering, and you have to fill the boots of someone who's loved and hated at the same time."

Ezekiel blinked. "And... what's the good side of it, eh?"

"You're popular, Zeke! Aren't you paying attention? You're the most powerful student in school! You can date anyone you want, get any favors you need, and respect. It's something a fat, ugly, brace-faced girl like my tween years could never be."

"What a'boot friends, eh?"

"Friends," she repeated, almost spitting out the word. "What good are friends?"

* * *

"How's it coming, Cody?"

Bridgette approached the tech-geek, yawning as she approached. "Any luck finding them?"

"No," Cody replied. "What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"It's been six hours, I'm good," the surfer replied, propping her elbow up on the back of his chair. "Any luck?"

"I've been rotating cameras all around the island, nothing," he admitted, fiddling with the mouse. "There's motion sensors on some that I got activated. Nothing but raccoons, squirrels, birds, and Fuzzy Wuzzums."

Gwen, lying down in a cot nearby, propped herself up. "The bear? What's he doing?"

"Eating marshmallows, and looking sad."

"Where are the others?" the surfer asked, watching over the tech-geek's shoulder.

"Izzy's cycling around the beach on one of her handmade death rides," Gwen said. "Beth's searching all the places we know of on the island, and Harold's trying to pick up their tracks."

Chris Maclean entered the camera tent, yawning. "Hey guys. I came here to check up on you guys to make sure Cody isn't breaking the equipment."

"No, he's fine," Chef Hatchet said. "He's actually expanded the memory, and fixed the screen saver bug we had."

"Fine, fine," Chris muttered. "Find Ezekiel and Heather yet?"

"No," Gwen replied, glaring at the host. "But thank you _so much_ for your help."

"You're welcome. I don't understand why you're trying so hard to find Heather, since Bridgette might have to walk the Dock of Shame."

"What?" Bridgette asked, shocked. "Why?!"

"Didn't you inform the others of my," he cleared his throat, "condition in the washrooms? That was helping the others, which was against the rules."

"I don't remember her doing that," Gwen lied, smiling innocently. "I merely remember making you panic, and following up on my turn-ins."

"I followed Gwen," Cody said, grinning as innocently as the goth girl. "You know me, helpless, raging crushing on her, because I am so helpless and geeky and stuff."

"Well, pull up the camera data on the area around that time, please," Chris requested. "I'd like to make sure."

"Oh, bad news about that, Chris," Cody said, still innocently grinning. "You know how some of the cameras stopped recording?"

"Yeah?"

"Same with the ones around the campus that afternoon. Nothing recorded at all."

Chris blinked, shrugged, then walked out. "Whatever. I'm gonna go back and finish my nap. Wake me when you find either of those two."

After he was gone, Cody quickly did some editing, tapping the 'delete' button on his computer several times. "Funny how these things happen, huh?"

Bridgette, beaming at the tech-geek, gave Cody a kiss on the cheek. "I owe you one, Cody."

"I think you paid him in full," Gwen remarked, smirking at how red Cody had turned.

* * *

Heather turned up her hands and shrugged. "I mean, what good are friends? What good can they do for you in the long run?"

"You kidding, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "The friends I made here are much more special than popularity can be, eh. After high school, what can popularity do for you?"

The ravenhair girl looked away, huffing indignantly. "Look, it's all I know for now," she grumbled. "How could your friends here be so special?"

"I finally have people my age to talk to. And when it comes time for us all to go to college, we might end up at the same one, eh."

Heather sighed, shaking her head. "Fine, okay then. You really sure you can trust them?"

"We've faced almost cer'teen death here, what's an exam in college going to do that's worse, eh?"

She looked away. Heather didn't want to hear this, it contradicted everything she had believed in beforehand. Friendship more important than popularity? It was absurd, but she couldn't deny that, at least deep down, she could make sense of what he was saying.

"Zeke..."

"Yeah, eh?"

"... Why do you care? Why do you even want to know about me? I'm just the popular girl from another province who's treated you like crap."

"I doo'nt-"

"I mean, think of it," she exclaimed, though careful to keep her voice down. "How could there ever be... anything between us? Friendship? Going out? I'm the popular girl, and you're the home schooled from the prairies. I'm... spiteful, I admit, and you're nice, if a little, well maybe really clueless."

Ezekiel started laughing. It hurt his head and his chest, but it also felt good. As Heather sat there, completely baffled, the prairie boy began to cough, then cleared his throat.

"Oh Heather. You're so woo'ried a'boot the stereotypes, yet it's being broken all around you, eh."

"What? What does that mean?"

"The handsome musician is going 'oot with the goth girl. The large 'n in charge sister's dating the lanky nerd. The juvenile delinquent is going steady with the politician-in-the-making.

"And, most recently, the cynical knoo'-it-all has started dating one of the two hyper-excitable BFFFs. Not to mention all the friendships and trust people have in each other here, eh."

He coughed harder, then continued. "You actually think... that social standings is keeping people here from liking each other, eh? ... When you come right doo'n to it... it's who we really are that matters..."

Ezekiel strained to stay awake, moaning and gripping his head. Heather was over to him as fast as she could scurry, gripping his shoulders.

"Stay awake, Zeke," she pleaded. "Keep talking, if that helps."

He weakly chuckled. "Doo'nt mind me blabbering, eh?"

"No cameras to see us down here, remember? I guess, for you and for now," she whispered, "I don't have to be the popular girl."

* * *

"Wait a minute," Cody said, tapping at his computer. "This thing has infrared. Of the entire island."

Chef Hatchet shrugged. "Just an option that came with the package deal. Nothing special."

"Except I could probably find them faster with this," Cody said, his hands going wild on the keyboard and mouse now. "How can you afford to have infrared of the whole island? Satellite?"

"Yeah."

"They have their own satellite here?" Gwen asked, crossing her arms. "And Chris has the nerve to say how they don't have the budget to fix the leaky pipes in the communal washrooms?"

"Satellite costs nothing compared to his beauty products."

"Man, Chris puts Lindsay and Heather to shame."

"You have no idea. The other day, he-"

"Oh my God!"

Cody was frantically clicking on a large outline of the island, now in infrared. "I think I have something," he exclaimed as he tapped a part of the map.

"What what what?" Bridgette asked, hanging on every word Cody said.

"I think I got two humanoid-shaped objects in the woods."

As the others crowded around Cody, Chef Hatchet's eyes went wide. "Oh crap."

"What?" Cody asked, startled by Chef's sudden swearing.

"That's exactly where I dug my new pit for inedible food."

"_What food of his isn't inedible?_" Gwen thought.

"Why'd you dig a pit for it?" Bridgette asked, throwing her hands up. "Isn't it easier to just throw it in the trash?"

"Not when it's growing tentacles and coming at you, blondie," the cook shouted. "You gotta bury it alive to kill it, about thirty meters."

Bridgette's light green eyes went wide. "That far down? They've fallen that far down?! Quick, get the others, get some rope, we've got to hurry!"

* * *

Ezekiel and Heather had been talking the entire time, trying to keep the prairie boy. Heather had a lot of things that she had kept stored in her, and once the dam known as Mean Popular Girl Image was broken, she let it all spill out.

The toque-wearing teenager hung on every word. He comforted Heather when she confessed that she felt like her parents never truly loved her. He asked about her school, about her schoolmates. He also wanted to know more about Damien.

"He's always been a major pain in my butt," she spat. "Pranking me, stealing my things. I hate him so much."

"I think he wants you to change, eh," Ezekiel said, and quoted what her little brother had written on the back of the photo. Heather shrugged and looked away.

"He probably just wants that on international TV," she replied.

"Except he sent it to me, and," the prairie boy took a deep breath and rubbed his temple, "I wouldn't do something like that."

Heather didn't reply to this. She remained silent until Ezekiel nudged her. "Something wrong, eh?"

"Zeke...," she sighed, then looked at him again, "... I don't think this is right of me to do."

"Boy, never thought I'd hear you say that, eh," he replied, laughing. He gripped his head as his own laughter made his headache throb.

"I'm serious," she snapped, a mixture of frustration and sorrow. "After we get out of here, I'm going to be back to my own self, my real self. I won't let the others see me like this."

"Why not, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "They could be your friends too-"

"Like hell. Gwen, my friend? Trent? Beth? Lindsay and Leshawna? Never, even I wanted to try to. None of them would give me another chance, and frankly, I don't think we'd even be that great of friends."

"There you go, woo'rying a'boot stereotypes again, eh," Ezekiel was still chuckling. "Heather, I doo'nt think it's all hopeless. You're being nice to me, eh."

"That's because," she started, then silenced herself.

"What? C'mon, tell me, eh." She took a deep breath. Though there was a part of her telling her to stop talking about it, she couldn't hold it back anymore. "I trust you, Zeke. And... I... I...

"I like you. A lot... and I have for some time."

Ezekiel blinked. "Um, wow. For how long, eh?"

"I don't know. Probably since you stood up to me during that snow day, probably when I kissed you the same day."

"Oh... I always thought you did that just to confuse me."

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't planned that too, but I couldn't... I didn't completely know _why_ I had kissed you. And it's been hell to think about that while here.

"Who could I talk to? Not the stupid Confession Cam, that's broadcasted. There are cameras everywhere. I... I didn't have any way of figuring this out, and I couldn't talk to you about it."

Ezekiel smiled weakly. "And that, Heather, is what friends are for, eh." He coughed hard, then moaned. "I doo'nt feel good at all, eh."

"Zeke, stay with me, please."

"I'm trying, Heather, but..."

He fell silent, and the queen bee began to panic. "No, Zeke, don't pass out! Zeke!"

She grabbed his shoulders and shook him gently. He was moaning, his eyes were rolling around with no focus.

"Zeke, stay with me," Heather shouted. "Zeke! ZEKE!"

"Heather?"

It was a voice from above, faint but close. A round object with a ponytail looked over the side of the hole, down at them. "Heather, is that you?"

"Beth?" replied the queen bee. She felt relief for a second, then her panic set back in. "Get some help, fast! Ezekiel's not doing too well down here!"

Beth nodded, then stood up. Putting her fingers in her mouth, she let out a shrill whistle, so sharp that it made Ezekiel down in the pit whimper.

"I found 'em," the farm girl shouted. Pretty soon, the other campers, Chef Hatchet, and Chris Maclean were at the hole.

"Dude, Chef," Chris said, looking at the hole, "you dug this?"

"Well, I requested a power digger," the cook admitted. "Said it would be needed for a challenge."

"That's not a bad idea, now that I think about it," the host said, tapping his chin. "Maybe next time-"

"Shut up," Gwen ordered him, glaring that fierce, goth glare that made a good deal of people shiver. "We need someone to go down there and carry them out. Chef, you're strong enough, you go."

"Him?" Harold exclaimed, pointing at the cook. "He would crush them if he went down there."

"Izzy will go then!"

The redhead, must to everyone's surprise, was tying the roped around her waist. "Izzy knows how to rappel. I'll give a tug when I have Ezekiel."

"You will be getting Heather on a second trip," Chris instructed her, taking the rope's slack.

"Aww, c'mon," Gwen and Beth protested.

Izzy, with the others giving her support, rappelled down the hole. When she reached the bottom, her foot stepped on something soft.

"Ow, Izzy," Heather hissed. "That was my leg!"

"Sorry," the redhead quickly apologized. "Where is Zeke?"

Heather helped lift Ezekiel up and into Izzy's arms. "Be careful, he has a concussion, I think."

"Bad?"

"Frooger sharkalarka," Ezekiel groaned, lulling in Izzy's arms.

"Oh my, it's bad," Izzy said, sounding quite serious. "I'm holding him, and he's not worried a bit."

She gave the rope a tug, and the others pulled them up. Bridgette was at Ezekiel's side in a second as Cody and Harold put him on one of the stretchers they had brought.

"Zeke? Zeke, speak to me," she cried out to her friend, holding his shoulders.

"Wha sha wann me ta say?" Ezekiel mumbled, his eyes unfocused still.

"He'll be fine if we hurry him to the medical tent," Chris said.

"Doo'nt...," Ezekiel strained to say, "forget... Heather..."

"Izzy's down there now, Zeke, getting her out," Bridgette told him, holding his hand.

The prairie boy managed to smile. "She's... not really... that bad a person."

"How hard did you hit your head there, Zeke?" Gwen asked, quirking an eyebrow.

As Izzy, carrying Heather, was pulled up, Cody and Harold carried Ezekiel back to camp, Bridgette with them. The queen bee took in a breath of fresh air, then looked around.

"Where's Ezekiel?" she asked.

"They're taking him back to camp," Gwen said. A scowl was forming on her face. "The question is, why are you wearing Ezekiel's jacket?"

"That's none of your business, Gwen," Heather snapped, turning away from the goth girl and crossing her arms.

"Is that what you think?" the goth girl retorted, her voice raising. "Ezekiel was down there with a concussion, and I'm sure you knew that! And yet you got to wear his jacket?"

Heather refused to answer. Her shoulders hunched up and she shook from a combination of emotions.

"Better get you to the medical tent too, Heather," Chris said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," she snapped.

"Well, we'd better make sure. You're from the rich family, one that can inform lawyers."

"Oh, that's nice," Beth shouted, as angry as Gwen now. "You care more for her well-being because of that? She's alright, unlike Ezekiel!"

"Not to mention he was trapped down there with her," Gwen added, exchanging looks with Beth. "I cannot imagine how painful that was for him."

"Izzy wonders what went on too," Izzy said, popping up between the two. "But did you see my incredible rappelling skills? I can rappel anyone!"

"Yes, Izzy, you sure can," Gwen commented.

* * *

Heather swatted at Chef, trying to get him away while grumbling for the nth time that she was alright. She did have some bruises and a couple scratches, but she was as okay as she insisted she was.

"Alright alright, I'll get out of your hair," Chef Hatchet snarled as he walked away. "Now I gotta go tell prairie boy's friends that visiting hours are still not optional."

"Why?" Heather called out to him.

"Oh what do you care, you're not his friend. Weirdos," the cook in the tight, white, nurse's dress replied.

Growling to herself, Heather looked over at Ezekiel. The prairie boy had a bandage around his head, and looked to be asleep. She stood up and walked over to him. When she saw the gentle rise and fall of his chest, she sat down next to her.

There were no words for some time; Heather had always found it ridiculous to talk to someone who couldn't hear you. She never understood why they did that in the movies, but now...

Before she could say something, Ezekiel stirred and moaned. His face curled up as if he was suffering from a nightmare. "No... no...," he began to mutter.

"Zeke?" she whispered, concerned.

"Rachel... why?" he continued to whimper. "Everyone... no... dad, I want to die... doo'nt make me go back there... they hate me..."

It all struck Heather then. She felt tears sting her eyes as she realized, after years of convincing herself that it was okay, that she was just as bad as the girl, the kids in general, who had scarred him like this.

"_No_," she thought, "_I'm worse than that. I'm the queen bee, I organize this._"

"I want to die...," Ezekiel moaned, "I... want to..."

"No, Zeke," Heather sobbed, grabbing his hand. She buried her face in it and whimpered, "Please don't want to die! Please don't... I'm sorry for everything I did to you... the insults, the ice water, stealing your necklace, leaving you buried in a mudslide, beating you up... I'm so sorry."

Her tears spilled from her eyes, splashing on his hand. She felt his fingers move, then looked up to see the prairie boy's eyes had opened slightly.

"I always knew," he whispered, "that you deserved a second chance."

She managed to smile, despite that she was still crying. "You... you really did?"

"Well, maybe 'second' is too big of a stretch, eh," he said as he forced himself to sit up. He wobbled slightly, but with the help of Heather, he steadied himself. "I mean, you mentioned a'boot four instances where I almost gave up."

"I can't see why or how you did."

"Oh, I'm just no good at carrying a grudge, eh."

The two smiled at each other, Heather still teary-eyed. He reached out and wiped away the excess water and then added, "You do look a lot better with'oot make-up, you should knoo'."

"No, I doo'nt... errr, don't," Heather replied. "Zeke, now you got me talking like you!"

Ezekiel grinned, then he leaned closer to her. She swallowed hard, then leaned in close too.

And then the Masters of Good Moment Ruining himself, Chris Maclean, popped into the tent. "Hey, Zeke, Heather!"

The two jumped from the sudden entrance, and both glared at the host, who continued to say, "The marshmallow ceremony is in a half-hour, so get refreshed, get clean, and meet you there!"

He turned and said before he left, "And neither of you are voting, it's up to the others which of you walks the Dock of Shame!"

Ezekiel and Heather took all this in, looked at each other, then said, "I really/truly hate that man."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We only got a couple appearances? What the hell?!)**

Heather - \long, exasperated sigh\ "What a day."

Beth - "Is there _any_ doubt who we're going to vote for?"

Gwen - "The time has finally come!"

Harold - "This'll be vengeance most awesome!"

Chef Hatchet - "Those two ruined a perfectly good hole! I even put cover over it so that no one would damage it, but they just had to walk their fat butts over it, and break the cover. Lousy teenagers, but what _can _you do?"

* * *

Chris Maclean stood behind the oil drum, drumming his fingers on the plate that had only one marshmallow on it. He was staring at Ezekiel, who looked like he was trying to keep his balance on the stump-like chair.

"You going to be okay there, Zeke man?" he asked.

"As okay as I'll ever be, eh."

"Because if you're walking the Dock of Shame, you might fall over into the water, the way you're wobbling."

Heather scoffed. To most, it sounded like she was laughing at Ezekiel, but she was really thinking about something else. "Just hurry it up, Maclean," she grumbled.

"No, we want this to be as long as possible," Beth replied, grinning wickedly.

"Because whoever we all voted for," Gwen said, crossing her arms and smirking at Heather, "is going to walk the Dock of Shame..."

"Board the Boat of Losers," Bridgette added.

"And isn't coming back," Harold concluded.

"**_FOREVER_**," the six campers on the side shouted. Ezekiel gripped his head and winced in pain.

"Still a little sensitive to loud noises, guys," he said.

Chris Maclean had a sulky expression. "Steal all my lines, why don't you? Bunch of wild teenagers, getting all rebellious, using my technology, falling down holes, voting for the person who actually makes this show interesting to watch..."

He sighed, then plucked the marshmallow up off the plate. "Heather, Zeke, this is the final marshmallow.

"And tonight... it goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Ezekiel."

The prairie boy raised a hand and caught the marshmallow. "Thank you, eh," he muttered.

"Alright Heather," Chris said, his sadistic grin back, "it's time for you to move your caboose off the show."

As the queen bee threw her hair back and scoffed, Gwen added from the crowd, "And it's about damn time too!"

"Finally, we don't have to put with your insults and back stabbing schemes," Beth added.

"Not to mention how you hog the communal washrooms," Harold said, nodding.

"Well fine," Heather replied as she stood up, glaring at the others. "I actually want to go. I don't think I could have bared another second with you freaks and dweebs."

She turned to Ezekiel, opened her mouth, then sighed. The queen bee, without a single word, stomped towards the Dock of Shame.

"Hey, you're still wearing Ezekiel's jacket," Izzy called out.

Heather stopped to look down at herself. She had forgotten all about that. Before she could do something about it though, Ezekiel was by her side.

"I suppose you want this crusty thing back," she said, though a faint smile was on her lips.

"If you doo'nt mind, eh," he said, smiling.

"I'll never understand you," she said as she pulled the jacket over her head. "And why are you smiling? You happy to get rid of me? Well, I'm glad to be away from here, I-"

She was silenced as Ezekiel pulled her to him and kissed her. Her eyes went wide, but she felt herself sink into the kiss. When they parted, she was breathless; so were the other campers, gaping in shock.

"Work on that attitude of yours, eh," he said, patting her on the shoulder. "I prefer nicer girls."

Her face flushed pink, Heather giggled uncharacteristically before she turned around and walked down the Dock of Shame. She boarded the Boat of Losers and it head off into the night. She didn't once look back or wave, but she was hunched over with her finger caressing her lips.

Ezekiel watched from the beach, sighing as he put his jacket back on. "What a night, eh," he said to himself.

Then, he was besieged.

"What happened with you two down there?" Izzy exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and squeezing him. "Tell momma Izzy all about it!"

"You're kissing _Heather_?!" Gwen cried out. "Zeke, I thought you were sane, but you have to be freaking mental to be kissing her!"

"I thought you said you weren't interested in her?" Bridgette asked, looking crestfallen. "What happened between you two down there?"

"Dude, you were so smooth," Cody cheered. "That was like something you'd see in the movies!"

"Hey, one at a time, eh," Ezekiel declared. "And Izzy, please let go of me, you're making me really nervous!"

"Oh, I was holding onto you earlier today, you didn't protest then."

"It's true," Beth said, nodding at Ezekiel. "She was the one who pulled you out of the hole."

Ezekiel paled, and looked ready to faint. Harold saw this and gripped his shoulders. "Zeke, you feeling dizzy, man? Do you need to go back to the medical tent?"

"He was smooching Heather," Gwen cried out. "He's obviously caught something horrible!"

"Guys, guys, guys," Bridgette shouted, pushing everyone away. "Ezekiel needs to go lie down, he doesn't need us all crowded around him. C'mon, Zeke, let's go."

She took him by the hand and pulled him away from the others, leaving to discuss what they thought was the reason for Ezekiel kissing Heather ("the concussion," "dare," "alien parasite").

The surfer girl and prairie boy were quiet for a few seconds when they were away from the others. He broke the silence by asking, "You disapprove, doo'nt you?"

"Can't say I don't, but," Bridgette sighed, "it's your choice, Zeke. If you feel she can be trusted..."

The surfer girl shrugged. "Just that... that smile she had on her face after you kissed her... that didn't looked forced at all."

"She's still gonna need a lot of work, eh," he admitted. "But I'm up for it."

She couldn't help but smile. "If anyone could tame her, it'd be you."

"Ayup yup! Get me my whip, eh, I'm gonna tame me a wild cat when this contest is over!"

* * *

**Heather** - Unable to vote.

**Ezekiel** - Unable to vote.

**Gwen** - Heather.

**Beth** - Heather.

**Bridgette** - Heather.

**Harold** - Heather.

**Cody** - Heather.

**Izzy** - Heather.

--

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah, Heather.

**Remaining Campers** - Harold, Beth, Bridgette, Cody, Gwen, Izzy, Ezekiel. (7 left.)

* * *

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Okay, I am very hopeful this chapter turned out alright. I know it's going to cause a wide range of replies, from delighted to... \quickly puts on a Kevlar helmet and vest\ ... but I'm ready for the feedback. So fire away.

And BOOYA! I made it to 300k words! Right on the chapter number that is the answer to life, the universe, and everything! Awesome!


	43. Day 16, Part 1: Totally Saw It Coming

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you're re-reading it, you won't get the same amount of surprise as you did the first time; that's not our fault.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - I'm glad that most of you approved of Ezekiel and Heather finally being paired up. Believe me, I put a lot of effort into that chapter, and I wanted it to be perfect. Now that the true drama has been done (but not completely over, mark my words), it's back to some really cheap laughs!

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And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

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(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback...

Last time was our most dramatic time, as the eight remaining campers were sent off across the island on a wild scavenger hunt! Searching for vague items, most of them managed to pass all the categories with little problem. Some, like Harold and Izzy, put everyone's lives at risk with their entries.

But the most thrilling part was when Ezekiel and Heather didn't show up that night, nor the following morning. They had fallen down a hole that Chef Hatchet had dug, and were left to tolerate each other; this wasn't fun for either of them first off.

As the campers and yours truly put one hundred effort into finding them, Heather finally cast away the popular shrew personality for Zeke. When rescued, the two had little time to bond, as Heather was sent off by the other, very bitter campers. But not before getting smooched by the prairie boy she was holed up with.

With Heather gone, is this show doomed to fail, flop, and jump over a shark? Or will the seven remaining campers (Izzy, Zeke, Bridgette, Gwen, Cody, Harold, and Beth) still have rough competition amongst themselves despite the fact that they all like each other?

And are they going to escape this challenge with all limbs intact? You saw it once, you saw it twice, but you see, saw, and swoon over this next episode of Total... Drama... Comeback!!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 43 (Day 16, Part 1)** - I Wanna Be Famous... But Alive at the Same Time!

* * *

**(Ezekiel)**

Ezekiel woke up, his head throbbing. His wound from the fall in the hole still hadn't fully recovered, and it was hurting so much now he wondered if he landed on it.

The prairie boy looked around. He was in a small metal room, a door on the far wall leading out. There was a speaker in the far right corner as well, and a small TV over it.

Disturbed by this, Ezekiel got up to leave. His ankle snagged on something, and he fell right down. Wincing in pain, he turned to see that there were handcuffs around his ankle, the other part cuffed to a heavy chain linked to the metal wall.

"Oh hell, not a'geen," he said, sitting down in a slump. "Chris Maclean, your handcuff fetish is really getting old, eh."

He looked around the room, and sighed. "Well, what do I do now?" The speaker spat out a mouthful of static, startling the young man. He looked up at it as a haunting voice began to talk, sending shivers up the young man's spine.

"**Hello, camper**," said the mysterious voice from the unseen speaker, "**I want to play a game...**"

"Um, okay," Ezekiel said, leaning against the wall.

"**You have something that I want, and you know what it is,**" the voice continued. "**I suggest you cooperative with me on this, or things will go very badly for you.**"

"If you insist, eh," he grumbled, crossing his arms and looking away from the speaker. "This is a really weird challenge, I have to say."

The being with the chilling voice chuckled. "**Defiant, despite being in such a bad predicament. What's your name, boy?**"

The prairie boy rolled his eyes. "Ezekiel."

"**Alright Ezekiel, tell me what I want to know, and all will go well. You wouldn't want anything to happen to your friends, now would you?**"

Ezekiel quirked an eyebrow, something he had borrowed from Gwen. "_So, my cooperation in this challenge might affect who gets voted off tonight, eh,_" he thought. "_I have to say, I'm really not that fond of how Chris set this up_..."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as chilling.)**

Ezekiel - \His bandage around his head has been reapplied, extended down further on the left side.\ "Yeah, this really lousy night began on a sour note: dinner. Under forces beyond our control, it was still served, eh.

Gwen - \She too has a bandage around her head.\ "One of the worst dinners I ever had, but it was still the first time it made me pass out."

* * *

**(Earlier that day...)**

_Chris Maclean clapped his hands. "C'mon, people! We need to prepare for the challenge tonight!"_

_"We're eating the food already," Gwen shot at him. "Do you have to torture us by making us eat it faster?"_

_"Gwen, shhhh," Bridgette shushed her friend. "Chef might hear you."_

_"Chef's not here," Ezekiel said, tapping his fork on his plate. He had been a bit distant ever since Heather had been voted off._

_Cody forced down another mouthful. "Speaking of torture, as Gwen said, what's the challenge tonight?"_

_"Quit using the word 'torture,' people. You wouldn't know what real torture is," Chris said, grinning sadistically._

_The seven campers all scoffed. Harold drummed his fingers on the table. "He is right, though," he said. "Haven't you ever seen some of those torture thriller movies, like _Cut_?"_

_"I saw that," Izzy chimed in, nodding a great deal. "I saw all four of them. Amateurs don't know anything about real pain, though."_

_"Stupid movies," Cody spat out, a very rare sign of anger in him._

_"What, you don't like horror movies?" Gwen asked him, raising a slender eyebrow._

_"I love horror movies. I hate torture movies," Cody replied. "I'm not paying movie to see someone being put through realistic agony."_

_"That's what soap operas are for," Beth said. She and Cody laughed then high-fived._

_"Thriller films are awesome," Gwen said. Harold and Izzy nodded in agreement, while Bridgette shook her head._

_"I have to disagree with you on that, Gwen," Bridgette said. "I hate movies like that, I don't like seeing people being tortured."_

_"Zeke?" Gwen asked, turning to the last camper._

_He shrugged, his head resting on his hand in a slump. "I prefer zombie movies, eh."_

_"Whatever," the goth girl said. "But I still think that what we go through is painful enough to be called torture."_

_As the others agreed, Gwen turned back to Chris Maclean to ask again what the challenge was, but he wasn't there. "Hey, where'd Chris go?" she asked._

_"Must have...," Harold started to say, then yawned, "slipped out while we were arguing."_

_Izzy nodded, lulling in her chair. "That crazy man, always disappearing like that. Makes me... dizzy. A dizzy Izzy!"_

_She giggled, then fell out of her seat. A few seconds after hitting the floor, the others heard her start to snore._

_Beth giggled, then yawned. She curled up in her seat, resting her head in her arms. "I'm gonna... join her in dream land. Night, guys."_

_"Chris said we had a challenge," Gwen shouted. "You guys can't..."_

_She felt very dizzy and drowsy all of a sudden, and she gripped her head. Looking over at her friends, she saw that Harold had face-planted himself in his dinner. Ezekiel fell out of his chair too, and she winced when she heard him it the ground._

_"Bridgette...," Gwen strained to say, fighting the heavy shade of sleep pounding down on her. "C-Cody..."_

_Cody was heading for the door, then he tripped over his feet and hit the floor. Bridgette grabbed Gwen and started to shake her._

_"We've been drugged," the surfer girl muttered. "G-Gwen?"_

_"Y-Yeah?"_

_"If... if anything should happen..."_

_"Nothing will, this is just...," Gwen yawned again, "this is just Chris's next challenge."_

_"But we were talking about torture, and he said that we didn't know anything about torture," the surfer girl shouted, looking frantic despite her sleepy eyes. "I hate pain, I cannot believe he'd do that to us!"_

_"Bridgette...," Gwen said, but the sleepiness of the drug was finally too much. She fell out of her chair, her blond friend landing on top of her. "Bridge... don't... pick up... any... saws..."_

_The seven campers were all fast asleep when Chris reentered, Chef Hatchet right behind him. "Good good," the host said, rubbing his hands together sinisterly. "Now it's time to take them to their cells. Shall we, Chef?"_

_"I'm just glad Tubbo Owen isn't still in the contest," the large cook grumbled. "We got a bunch of girls, Zeke, and a couple scrawny nerds. Much easier to carry."_

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as scrawny.)**

Harold - \with a bandage around and up his right arm\ "I actually didn't mind that. I prefer to be unconscious after dinner here, it makes me not have any aftertaste of the food.

Izzy - \steaming mad and dirty\ "_No one_ drugs Izzy against her will! Chris Maclean, I'll make you pay for that!"

* * *

**(Izzy)**

"Where are you, you coward?!" Izzy roared, tugging on the chain in the wall. She was in the same predicament as Ezekiel, in the exact same type of room.

The speaker turned on, as did the TV. They both were full of static at first, then cleared up. The TV revealed a poor-quality picture of a man wearing a mask. The mask was pale white, with frizzy black hair on top, blood red pain around the eyes and lips, and on both cheeks of the mask, a small 'o' was painted in-between two short, vertical lines.

"**Hello, Izzy,**" the being on the TV said, the sound coming from the speaker rather than the TV. "**I want to play a game-**"

"The only game you're going to be playing," Izzy roared, on her feet at once, "is the game of running for your life when Izzy gets out of here and comes after you!"

"**Tough talk Izzy, but I have you prisoner now, and if you want to survive this**-"

"You're the jellybean smuggler, aren't you?" the redhead continued. "I knew it all along! I didn't think it was you since I searched your trailer twice, but it's obvious now-"

"**Dude, Izzy. Be quiet, I'm trying to read you the rules to the challenge.**"

Izzy sat down and grumbled. "Evil jellybean smuggler," she muttered.

"**You've been bothering everyone about that jellybean smuggling thing,**" the masked man said, then it, quite pathetically laughed and repeated his little rhyme. "**Jellybean smuggling thing. Cool. Anyway, you have to choose between life or death now, Izzy.**"

A small chute opened in the wall, and a few pellets rolled out. They bounced and rolled towards Izzy, and her eyes bugged when she saw what they were.

"Jellybeans," she declared, furious and horrified and excited all at once.

"**That's right. You see seven jellybeans in front of you right now. All the other campers are experiencing something of the same...**"

* * *

**(Beth)**

"**... and you will notice that they are seven different colors too.**"

Beth nodded, sorting through the jellybeans. "Green, red, brown, blue, black, yellow, purple, and gray. Is there a point to the colors?"

"**Yes, because each jellybean signifies a camper here at Wawanakwa Island,**" the masked man on the screen continued. "**And in this terrifying challenge...**"

He stopped when Beth started giggling and snorting. " 'Terrifying'?" she repeated, a goofy grin on her face. "You having us eat candy! That's about as scary as... it's not scary, it just isn't!"

"**Hey, be nice, I put a lot of thought into this challenge,**" the masked man whined. "**Look, the point of this challenge is that you have to eat at least one of the jellybeans. For each one you eat, the easier the next challenge will be...**"

* * *

**(Gwen)**

"**... but if you eat the one that signifies you, then you are eliminated from the challenge. Got it?**" Gwen sat with her legs crossed, glaring daggers at the screen. "Chris Maclean-"

"**My name,**" the masked man on the screen said, "**is Puzzle**."

"Puzzle Maclean, you had a chance to make this challenge something really good, something really frightening that would be worthy of those thriller movies made...

"And you peed it right down your leg, you wimp."

"**Ewwww, that's gross. You're weird, Gwen.**"

"Says the man who calls himself Puzzle," the goth girl said, then rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She looked down at the jellybeans, and picked up the yellow one. "This one's obviously not me."

"**Are you sure about that?**" Puzzle asked before she popped it into her mouth.

"Yes, I am."

"**Because the jellybeans don't always relate to the campers, like what they wear or what their eye and hair color are. You might be chomping down the one that signifies you-**"

Gwen popped it into her mouth, chewed a couple times, then swallowed. "Was the yellow one me?"

"**... No.**"

"Good," Gwen said, then picked up the red, brown, and purple ones. Before Puzzle could protest, she ate all of them.

"**Will you stop? You're not making this any fun!**"

"Boo-dee-hoo hoo."

* * *

**(Chris Maclean)**

"**I'll speak to you later, Gwen... if I decide to let you live that long!**"

Chris turned off the screen to Gwen's TV, then sighed heavily. "**Why is she always in a bad mood?**"

"Well, you did drug her, put her in a cage, then tell her to eat jellybeans," Chef pointed out, shrugging. "But I have to agree with her, this part of the contest is lame."

"**Oh it is not, big guy.**"

"Yes, it is, and take off that mask. The voice changer in it is starting to give me the heebie-jeebies."

"**Dude, no one says heebie**-jeebies anymore," the handsome host said as he took off the mask. "But about this contest-"

"The choices are too easy, for most of them," Chef said. "Izzy's the red jellybean because she's a redhead, Ezekiel's brown because he's a brunette, and Bridgette's yellow because she's a blond."

"It's not that obvious-"

"Gwen's green because she wears green, and Harold's purple because he wears purple," Chef Hatchet shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. "Good gravy, Chris, did you lose all sense of creativity?"

"What about Cody and Beth? Those are actually clever."

"Dude, I don't even get why you picked those two their colors."

"Cody is black for that weird gap in his teeth, and Beth is gray because of her braces."

"She don't wear braces anymore."

"Well, she did when I mapped out this challenge."

"You're pretty lame there, pretty boy."

"Yeah, well, I'm the one who's going to give these campers the heebie**-jeebies by the time Puzzle has had his way with them,**" Chris said as he put the mask back on. Chef winced and stepped away from them.

"**Now, let's see how the others are do-**"

* * *

**(Harold)**

Harold wiped his mouth on his sleeve as he finished chewing up the jellybeans. Only the purple one remained.

The TV in his room turned on, and Puzzle was back. "**Dude, what gives?!**" Puzzle shouted, waving his hands in the air. "**I told you that you could be eliminated if you ate the one that matches you, and you ate all but one!**"

"Well, I'm obviously purple," Harold said, shrugging. "No one else here has any relation to purple."

"**No, you fool! You cannot just kill the suspense, you have to act nervous, at the least! Quit being a stupid moron idiot!**"

"Gosh, you're not a very nice torturer," Harold grumbled.

* * *

**(Bridgette)**

The surfer girl stared at the jellybeans, and tried to analyze the situation.

"Okay, I have yellow hair," she said, taking deep breaths to calm herself. "I am an environmentalist, so I could be green. But then I might be brown because I love Mother Earth... who knows how Chris's mind works?"

She nervously ate the black and red ones, the only ones she felt comfortable eating. She looked at the others, then sighed. "I don't dare," she said to herself.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as daring.)**

Bridgette - "I wish I could be more daring like Gwen or even Izzy. I try to be, but every time I come out swinging, my friends and those around me get hit. I once was trying to shake the ink to the bottom of the pen, and I swung back and hit my mother in the eye with my fist."

* * *

**(Cody)**

"Okay, let's see what the odds are," Cody said to himself, pulling out a calculator from his pocket. As he punched in some numbers, the TV and speaker came to life again with the presence of Puzzle.

"**Put away the calculator if you know what's good for you, Cody.**"

"Why, is it against the rules?"

"**No, it makes you look like a nerd. And nerds don't survive thriller movies**."

"They do too," Cody replied, putting his hands on his hips. "Nerds are the only people who can truly deduce how to escape death traps like these."

"**Um, bra, you're eating jellybeans.**"

Cody wanted to answer, but there was laughter from behind Puzzle, as well as a faint voice shouting, "You admit it's lame to your victim! Har har har!"

"**Chef dude, be quiet,**" Puzzle hissed. He frantically tried to turn off the feed, but accidentally hit his face against the panel and knocked off his mask. Chris Maclean sat there, shocked at first, then adapted a serious look.

"You totally did not just see that, dude," he said, slowly waving his hand across the screen.

"I totally did not just see that," Cody replied, smiling and nodding.

"This isn't the torturer that is totally torturing you."

"This isn't the torturer I'm looking for."

"Move along." Chris turned off the TV feed this time. Cody laughed as he picked up a few of the jellybeans and muttered, "What a geek."

* * *

**(Izzy)**

Izzy had stuffed her mouth full of the jellybeans. She waited until Puzzle, or as she called him now The Jellybean Smuggling Rat-Faced Puzzle, would contact her again.

"**Hello again, Izzy. I see you have eaten... ALL OF THEM?!**"

"Huffhuff, diffdent efpeft da?" Izzy said with a full mouth. "Ahy aff a sefref phan, foo fitch."

"**What a shame. The red one was you, but since you ate it**-"

Izzy raised an eyebrow, closed one nostril, and blew her nose as hard as she could. The red jellybean shot out, and she caught it. Presenting the booger-coated candy to the TV screen, she quickly chewed and swallowed the rest.

"**... Ewww, Izzy.**"

"Owen taught me how to do that," the redhead with the red bean said proudly. "Though I didn't know how useful it would be until now."

"**Fine, whatever. The next part is sure to gross you out, because it weighed heavily on how many of the jellybeans you didn't eat.**"

"One."

"**... Yeah, I was hoping for more, but you just had to go and legally cheat. Your next challenge is eat something else, but it depends on how many jellybeans you didn't eat!**"

Another slot in the wall opened up, and a fishbowl rolled out on a tray. Inside the fishbowl was a small school of goldfish, swimming around like the ignorant little fishies they were.

"**Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to swallow,**" the eyes behind the mask rolled, "**one goldfish. Failure might mean death.**"

"Daaaaaah, okay," Izzy shouted. She reached in and grabbed a fish, popped it in her mouth, then swallowed.

"**Izzy, can't you show the teensy-est bit of disgust?**"

"No, you jellybean smuggling, rat-faced, masked man!"

"**Now there's no need for name calling and... Izzy! Stop eating the other goldfish, you don't have to eat those!**"

"But once I get the taste for something, I cannot stop!"

"**Izzy, c'mon, knock it off! Oh dear... such unneeded goldfish eating. PETA is gonna be all over us over this...**"

* * *

**(Harold)**

"You seem more irked than usual," Harold said to Puzzle. "Something wrong?"

"**Your friend Izzy is on a goldfish binge.**"

"Ewww. Those things taste terrible."

"**... Look, I don't even want to know how you know that, Harold. All I care about is your challenge! And that is... boogers!**"

Harold blinked.

"What do you mean, specifically?"

"**You refused to eat, let's see, one jellybean. That means you have to pick your nose and eat whatever comes out.**"

Harold blinked again; he already had his finger in his nose. The lanky nerd plucked it out, and shrugged. "Whatever. Guess I won't save that one for dessert then."

He ate it. Puzzle gagged and had to run off-screen. The sound of puking could be heard, as well as another voice shouting, "I never want to hear him complain about my cooking again!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as boogery.)**

Harold - \He is smirking proudly.\ "I managed to make Chris puke with one joke. Who da man, huh?"

Chef Hatchet - "Um, Chris is puking pretty hard. Better cut to commercial."

* * *

_Joel the inventor breathed in deeply, and let it out as a furious groan. "How many more of these do I have to do?" he asked to nobody in particular._

_The salesman with the cheesy grin was back, a bandage around his head. "Howdy, children who watch TDI!"_

_"The age range for the show is a little older than that," Joel called out to the salesman, but he was ignored._

_"Have you ever wanted jellybeans that have twice the energy boost that normal coffee has?"_

_The young inventor slumped against the table. "Oh, now you're trying to caffeine the children up again. Who merchandises this crap?"_

_"Then send twenty-five dollars to the current address, and-"_

_The lights were killed in the studio, leaving only the large, blinking eyes of the salesman there. "What happened? Bob? Where are the lights?"_

_"_**Hello, salesman with the cheesy grin**_," said a very creepy voice behind him. "_**I want to play a game...**_"_

_The sound of mechanical buzzing started up, and the salesman ran away screaming at the top of his lungs._

_The lights came back on, revealing Joel sitting at the table with his feet up on it. He is wearing the Puzzle mask, and is holding an electric toothbrush. He lifts the mask up and grins._

_"Well, who else do you think made the mask with the voice modifier for Chris?" he asked the camera. He flicks away a couple jellybeans on the table, then brushes his teeth. "Anyway, are we done now?"_

* * *

**(Bridgette)**

The surfer girl wiped her forehead, sighing miserably. "I suck so bad," she muttered to herself.

The screen and speaker buzzed on again, and a hacking, sputtering Puzzle was back. "**Your friends are freaks, you know that, Bridgette?**"

"What do you want, Puzzle?"

"**I want you to eat as many of a certain thing as you didn't eat jellybeans. I see you have five, which means this'll actually be fun!**"

Bridgette sighed, and shook her head. "Fine, fine. What is it that I have to force down now?"

"**This!!**"

A slot opened up, and a tray rolled out. On it was something that made Bridgette's heart skip a beat in terror.

"H... h...," she stammered, beginning to shake. "HOT DOGS?!"

"**Yep, surfer chick! You didn't eat five jellybeans, so you have to eat five hot dogs**," he cackled. "**Eat or die, surfer chick, your choice.**

"**Oh, and by the way, they're made from the freshest dolphins.**"

Bridgette let out a pained scream that shook the room she was in. It startled Chris Maclean/Puzzle so bad that he fell back in his chair. Chef shook his head and tsk'tsked him.

"You really shouldn't lie to her like that," Chef Hatchet said. "They're normal hot dogs, Chris."

"**Oh shut up, I needed to get some thrills after Harold and Izzy.**"

Chef Hatchet sighed, then shrugged. "Oh well, make the kids suffer. It's all for the best."

* * *

**(Cody)**

The geek looked at the three soda cans in front of him. "So, how is this torturous?"

"**Well, you have to drink three sodas, you'll have to pee like crazy.**"

Cody burst out laughing. "You just aren't any good at torture, are you, Chris?"

"**It's Puzzle! And quit insulting my torture skills! I do my best, damn it!**"

The tech-geek shrugged, then popped open a soda. He started chugging the first one down, hiccuping from the rush. "So, how are the others doing?"

"**You mean your doomed friends? They are suffering, and are dying because it's so torturous! I'm, like, torturing them so much, it's not even funny!**"

Finishing the first soda, Cody started on the second one. "Well, there's not much you can say to that."

"**That's right! I'm mean, and cruel, and unforgiving! I torment and kill and hurt and I'm just plain not nice**."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as mean.)**

Cody - "Yeah, I knew then that his little challenge is failing miserably. I haven't seen that much denial since... um, never mind." \He looks around, tapping his fingers together, and chuckles nervously.\

* * *

**(Beth)**

"**You acted so cool when during the phobia challenge last season**," Puzzle said to the worried farm girl. "**Now it's time for you to pay for your vanity.**"

A small tray rolled out of a slot, and on it was a plate full of worms. "**Slurp down four of them, Beth,**" Puzzle said with a sadistic tone in his sadistic voice.

"Are... are you kidding me?" Beth whimpered. "That's so mean!"

"**I know it is. I thought of it. The meanness is mine, and meanness is me! Now slurp down four worms.**"

Beth winced as she looked at the wriggling worms. "I have a sensitive gag reflex..."

"**Well, you either complete this part of the challenge or you lose it all.**

"**Though I bet that Justin won't want to be kissing you if he sees you slurping down worms. Or Cody... or whoever it is that you're interested in, I don't keep track of the couples until they're making out.**"

"Ewwwwww," was Beth's reply.

Puzzle was silent at first, then went on the defensive. "**No no no, I didn't mean that in a perverted sense! I meant it only in the sense that I can only keep track of who's seeing who by them smooching!**"

* * *

**(Gwen)**

"**Gwen, you failed to win Total Drama Island. Your failure will cost you, as the bitter memories of how you lost will be brought to your face.**"

The goth girl watched as a tray of brownies was rolled into the room. She snarled at them as if they were her mortal enemy. "Stupid snacks."

"**Yes, they cost you one hundred thousand dollars. Now you have to eat three of them. And these aren't normal brownies.**"

"Yyou put laxative in them, I'll be."

"**... No, but I think that would have been better. These are mud brownies, made with real mud! With gravel as chocolate chips.**"

Gwen gagged a little. "Ugh, I hate you so much, you sadistic man."

"**Now THAT'S what I want to hear! Thanks, that means so much to me! Now chow down on three of those, and we'll see if your boyfriend Cody wants to lock lips with you again!**"

The goth girl froze in mid-chew. She glared at Puzzle and muttered, "I'm not dating Cody."

"**Oh, sorry. Tyler then.**"

"No.

"**Noah?**"

"No!

"**Oh, it's Geoff, isn't it?**"

"Shut up, you're not even trying now," she replied as she continued to munch and groan in disgust over her mud and gravel brownie.

"**Well geez, I don't keep track of who you teenagers are dating! Who's seeing who, way too hard to keep up with! Not interested either, no siree. Don't know, don't care.**"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as interesting.)**

Gwen - "You'd think a man wearing a mask wouldn't have to try to mask what he says so much. The idiot doth protest too much, methinks.."

* * *

**(Ezekiel)**

"How many times do I have to tell you, eh?" Ezekiel shouted, swatting at the jellybeans in front of him. "I doo'nt understand what you're talking a'boot!"

"**Your defiance is admirable, but I am afraid you are making things worse for your friends by being this stubborn. The blond one on this island, the pretty one?**"

"Just call her by her name, you hoser," Ezekiel replied, crossing his arms and leaning backwards. "You knoo' who Bridgette is, and this stupid routine is getting lame."

"**Your arrogance is rather impressive, I must say. But this Bridgette you mentioned, she will suffer even more at my hand if you continue this. Her beautiful face is twisted in terrible agony now, and it could get even get worse.**"

"That's not funny, dude," Ezekiel replied. His left eye was starting to twitch. "Not funny at all. If you're hurting her, I'll-"

"**Stop playing innocent. I know that you know more about these jellybeans than you're letting on, and you refusing to play my game will cost you!!**"

A electric surge shot through the metal chain in the wall, and shocked Ezekiel. The prairie boy winced in pain, and gripped his head. His hair stood on end, pushing his toque off; he quickly put it back on, and the bobble on it stood upright.

"**Zeke, you're going to receive more if you don't swallow some of those jellybeans.**"

"But you told me that there was a chance I could be ki-"

He was shocked again, his toque standing up right as he twitched. When the surge was over, the prairie boy sat there with smoke coming off his clothes and singed hair.

"**This could go a lot easier if you give up now. Do you?**"

Ezekiel coughed, smoke coming from his mouth. He glared up at the speaker. "Dickweed."

"**You've been giving me a very difficult time ever since you showed up on this island. I've sent you warnings, I've tried to scare you off, but you just wouldn't take the hint.**"

"Gee, that's nice, eh. But I'll," he started to say, but was shocked a third time. Electricity crackled in his toque, causing the bobble to flop around like a bouncy ball. "... I won't be talking, eh!"

"**Face it, Ezekiel. You are now under my power. And I won't stop until I get everything I need to know.**"

Ezekiel rolled his eyes and leaned back. "This is the lamest challenge you've ever put me through, eh."

"**You sure do have a sharp tongue, Ezekiel.**"

"Comes from seeing Heather, eh."

"**I'm afraid Heather might not recognize you if you keep up this kind of defiance. There are a lot more shocks in store for you since you didn't come clean about my jellybeans. And if these electric surges aren't enough for you...**"

Ezekiel received another painful electric shock. He panted, smoke coming from his mouth in little clouds.

"**... you must know that the third part of our little game is a lot worse. Gonna cry now, baby, huh? Gonna cry?**"

The prairie boy rubbed his leg, which was a little numb from the electric shocks. He then noticed that there were two pieces of red tape on his leg, one further up his thigh than the other. "What are these for, eh?"

"**You will see, Ezekiel. This game just got more serious, incredibly serious. So serious it's not even funny.**"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as serious.)**

**Ezekiel** - "What a hose head that guy was, eh."

**Gwen** - \shaking her head\ "I cannot believe he actually thought this resembled the movies at all. Did he even watch them? Or did he just read the plots on the internet? That'd be really cheap."

**Bridgette** - \distraught\ "It was like every part of me was against eating those hot dogs. My morals, my ethics, my stomach, my gut instinct... and I'm so ashamed of what I did next."

**Izzy** - "Izzy will never fold to the Terrible Evil Namby Pamby Damby Jellybean Smuggling Has-Been!"

**Beth** - "I know it's kind of pathetic, but eating worms is a lot worse than being covered by them."

**Harold** - "You know, I'm thinking back to what I did there... and now that I ponder over it, it was really gross!"

**Cody** - \He lets out a very long belch.\ "And that there was the easiest part of the challenge! But what was in store for me next was so much more terrifying... I never saw it coming. I saw a lot of things before, a seesaw sawed in two, a gaping bear maw and paws, and a raw macaw I saw too..."

\He starts jumping up and down, air-guitaring and singing.\

"_But you cannot stop Codemiester_

_the master of disaster_

_I'll ace the challenge and more_

_and I never saw those movies before_

_not one, not two, or three, or four!_

_Woooooo-hoo-hooooooo!_

_You cannot stop me!_

_I'll be going to the Final Three!_

_And when I win that challenge I'll-_"

**Chef Hatchet** - \banging on the side of the confessional outhouse\ "Hey! Scrawny geek! Wail somewhere else and let someone else have a crack at that bowl!"

**Cody** - \swallows nervously\ "Sorry, Chef! Almost done!" \He listens against the wall, making sure Chef Hatchet is gone.\

"_... And when I win that challenge, I'll..._

_Be da bear-wrestling_

_robot-building_

_lady-loving_

_Code-ster Mie-ster_

_one of two victors_

_on TDC!!!_"

* * *

**Part 2 will be coming shortly, after we recover from Cody's ad-libbed song.**

* * *

--

--

--

So, who is going to be voted off next: **Izzy the Red**, **Bridgette the Yellow**, **Gwen the Green**, **Harold the Purple**, **Ezekiel the Brown**, **Cody the Black**, or **Beth the Gray**?

And let me answer a few questions before you all ask:

No, I've never seen the Saw movies. I don't like torture films.

No, Cody wasn't parodying anything; I made that up. Add your own beat, and make it as dorky as you want it to be.

Yes, the jellybean smuggler will finally be revealed in the next chapter. Time to take the mask off and see who it is. (Do you folks at home know? Well, you cannot know, buahaha. Oh, and to prevent wild guessing, no, it's not Joel.)


	44. Day 16, Part 2: The Jellybean Smuggler

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If you're rereading it, you won't get the same amount of surprise as you did the first time; that's not our fault.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Wow, the predictions of who the jellybean smuggler is are flooding in! It's exciting to see who you all think it's going to be! Don't be too disappointed if it's not who you think it is. And don't be too disappointed by who is getting voted off, I have to narrow this down to three campers one way or another.

If you want to be disappointed, be disappointed with who got booted off TDA first. I know _I'm_ disturbed by that (still love the show and am anxious... but c'mon)! My new poll in my profile is about that, and it's spoiler free. Go vote if you want to, no one's forcing you (or someone might be, I have no idea what goes on in your homes).

**Warning** - This episode of TDC contains descriptions of some really nasty violence, stronger than usual swearing (nothing TOO strong though), puking, beatings, bad puns, drug references, a complete rip-off, and a major kiss. You've been warned, it's seriously PG-13 here.

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 44 (Day 16, Part 2)** - You See Saw? I Saw Saw Too, And I Saw Saw Two Too!

* * *

**(Bridgette)**

Sweat ran down the surfer girl's forehead. She forced herself to stop gagging, and ate another bite of the fourth hot dog.

"Ugh...," she moaned. "How do people eat this?!"

The TV screen in her cell buzzed to life, and Puzzle was back there again. She despised every part of him at this point, right down to the 'lol's painted on his cheeks.

"**They taste good with ketchup or mustard,**" he asked, a humorous tone in his chilling-voice. "**Want some**?"

"No thank you," Bridgette shot back, trying to finish her fourth hot dog.

"**You're not being very nice, Bridge.**"

She glared at the TV screen and picked up the fifth and final hot dog. Whimpering before starting to nibble on it, Puzzle vanished from the screen.

Chris lifted the mask and looked over at Chef Hatchet. "She's weird, don't you think?" Chef raised an eyebrow.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as weird.)**

Chef Hatchet - "Bridgette's 'weird' to Chris? He's got Harold, Cody, Izzy, and Gwen on this island, and he considers that surfer girl to be weird? Man, that pretty boy's so messed up, but I guess that's why they let him make up the challenges."

Bridgette - "It's challenges like this that make me wish I had just been voted off around when Geoff was! Forcing me to eat meat, chaining me up..."

\She sighs.\ "All for ten thousand dollars, a tenth of what was offered last season. It's just not worth it, and I suck so much that I realize that after the challenge is over!"

* * *

**(Bridgette again, we didn't go anywhere.)**

Bridgette hacked, choked, then managed to swallow the last of the hot dogs. She looked up at the TV screen and grumbled, "Now what? Want me to kick a puppy?"

Puzzle came back on the screen. "**I could get one for you, if you want.**"

"Yeah, right. You'd have so many animal rights activists on you, you'd be unable to breathe properly. And my mother would be the first among them to kick you right back."

"**You're awfully violent for an environmentalist hippie girl**."

Bridgette, for the first time this challenge, wore a cocky smirk. "You should know by now that many people here on this island, there's more than meets the eye."

"**Whatever, Bridgette Prime. It's time for the third and final part of your challenge. Are you ready?**"

"Bring it on."

"**You know that photo that Gwen stole from Ezekiel's drawers?**"

Bridgette froze. She subconsciously moved her hand to her pocket, then silently cursed herself for revealing the truth.

"**Yes. I know she gave it to you. You even have it on you.**"

"Wh-what about it?" Bridgette asked, all confidence gone.

"**Here's a little something I borrowed from Duncan.**"

A lighter slid out from one of the slots in the wall, bumping against Bridgette's foot. Her eyebrows shot up in horror, realizing what this meant.

"**You know what this means,**" Puzzle continued. "**I can even see your eyebrows shooting up in horror. You know that lighter that just bumped against your foot from one of the slots in the wall?**"

Bridgette hated how he just narrated everything she just experienced; it made the tension worse, in more than one way.

"**Knowing that Gwen stole it but not doing anything about it makes you an associate to the crime,**" Puzzle continued, "**and because you are associated, you are as equally as guilty, and therefore, must be punished instead of her.**"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as guilty.)**

Bridgette - "And my friends at home wonder why I don't like the _Cut_ movie series."

* * *

"**Your punishment is quite simple,**" Puzzle informed her, deviously rubbing his hands in front of his face. "**You got the lighter, you got the stolen photo. I just want to see the expression on Ezekiel's face when you tell him you burned that which was trusted to him.**"

Bridgette felt sweat drip down her forehead. That's how out of touch she felt, her head spun but she wasn't even part of the spin. Her mind was on Puzzle's words, particularly on what Puzzle said about Ezekiel.

"**Not to mention how you'll be ratting out Gwen on this. Oh, this is so evil, it's delightful,**" Puzzle cackled. "**So, Bridgette, fire or die...**

"**You make the call.**"

* * *

**(Cody)**

Cody belched, then winced. "Oh, it's coming to me now."

He crossed his legs tight, as his bladder was now very uncomfortable for him. Though he had been calling out for Puzzle for some time, his torturer had not come back ever since he last departed.

The tech-geek was a very levelheaded guy, and he prided himself in that. But he was about to burst, and there wasn't a human being who would convict someone when the guilty party was holding in a giant pee for this long.

"Chris," he shouted, "if you don't come back and tell me the final part of this stupid challenge, I'm peeing in the corner of this cell!!"

A few seconds, then the TV buzzed on. "**My name's Puzzle, you geek.**"

"Whatever, dude. What's the third part?"

"**Alright alright! Sheesh, you victims are so touchy!**"

The door opened to the cell, and Chef Hatchet came in, riding a child's tricycle. The large cook was wearing one of the Puzzle masks too, but he was easy to recognize with that chef's hat still on his head.

"**My assistant here has a few presents for you**." Attached to the tricycle was a wagon full of electronic gadgets. Cody saw a coffee machine, DVD player, microwave, radio, coo-coo clock, and a couple watches.

"Whacha want me to do with all this?" Cody asked as Chef Hatchet unhooked the wagon from the tricycle. The large man pedaled the tiny ride out, then slammed the door behind him.

"**You'll find an outlet for plugging them in,**" Puzzle said. "**Please reprogram all of the devices to the current time.**"

Cody blinked, looked at the electronic gizmos, then back at Puzzle. "Um, that's all? Really?"

"**Hey, have YOU tried to reprogram the clock on a DVD player? Man, that's a real pain in the rumpus! Okay then, Cody...**

"**Reprogram the clocks or die. Your choice.**"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as choosy.)**

Chef Hatchet - \He crosses his arms, rolls his eyes, and scoffs.\ "Lame.

"Although... it is pretty hard to reprogram the time setting on the coffee machine."

* * *

**(Izzy)**

The redhead was now fervently trying to pick the lock of her handcuff. She had busted three hair clips but she was determined as ever.

"**Izzy, cut it out,**" Puzzle demanded of her the moment he was on the screen in her cell. "**Young lady, you are going to be tortured, and you're going to like it!**"

"NEVER!"

"**It's good for you!**"

"You'll never take me alive!"

"**I've already taken you, but I can work on the alive part! Now, Izzy, you redheaded wild child, you dastardly demon of green eyes and wide grins, it's time we finally put an end to your reign of insanity at long last.**"

Izzy didn't like the sound of that. Her green eyes darted around the room, looking for hidden crossbows, blowguns, bear traps, or cloaked assassins. What actually happened was a small chute in the wall opened, and a small container of pills rolled towards her.

"What the hell is this crap?" Izzy snarled, her eyes narrowing on the container.

"**It's children's' medication**," Puzzle explained, his shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter. "**Something your parents should have done a long time ago, in my humble opinion.**

"**Anyway, you have to swallow a couple of these. Drug up or die, Izzy; your call.**"

Izzy shot her meanest glare at the TV screen before going back to the handcuffs. Chris, on the other side, looked over briefly at Chef Hatchet.

"Think she's gonna do it?" he whispered to him, lifting the mask slightly.

"No way, man."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't have a choice," the handsome host declared. "I mean, it's not like she can pick the lock of those things."

He turned back to the TV screen, and saw an empty cell being shown.

"Dude," he shouted, his hands flying up to his head, "she picked the lock of those things!"

Chef Hatchet fell down laughing.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as picky.)**

Izzy - "Once Izzy was out of there, she knew had to help the others! No longer will we be tormented by a jellybean smuggler and a sadistic has-been! We will rise up against our former leaders, and take back what is rightfully ours!!"

\She stands up, raising her fists in the air.\ "FOR CANADA, AND FOR PLATYPUS!!"

* * *

**(Harold)**

The lanky nerd looked at the tall glass cylinder that had been brought into his cell by Chef Hatchet. Though Harold was very amused at the sight of Chef riding a tiny trike, he had managed to keep all laughter in.

"So what's all this then?" Harold asked.

"**Right then****, Harold,**" Puzzle said over the TV once Chef was out. "**This water is almost boiling. You can tell by the steam and bubbles, can't you?**"

He nodded, noting both. Harold also noted there was a plastic card at the bottom of the cylinder, which he could possibly reach if he reached one of his arms in all the way. Though there was no way he would do that...

"**At the bottom of that bubbling cylinder is a plastic card that has your former camper and teammate Courtney's name on it. It can be considered the votes you stuffed in the ballot box last season**."

Harold nodded, lowering his head in shame.

"**Your challenge is simple. Reach in, and pluck out the vote that was never meant for her. Though I cannot guarantee your arm and hand will be in prime condition afterwards...**

"**Reach or die, Harold. Your choice.**"

The lanky nerd sighed, then rolled up his sleeve. After a few seconds of psyching himself up, he plunged his arm down the cylinder.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as boiling.)**

Harold - \holding up his bandaged arm\ "Chris failed to mention that it was nearly impossible to grab that card at the bottom of the cylinder. Also, I would like to state, for the record, that my scream, no matter how high-pitched and shrill, was quite justifiable.

"It felt like my skin was melting off! Cool... but not cool at the same time."

* * *

**(Beth)**

After slurping up all the worms necessary for the challenge, Beth was feeling sick with guilt, and just sick. She felt them wriggling down her throat, each one of them, and it really made it sick to her stomach.

"_I wonder if I threw up now, I could save the little guys,_" Beth thought. "_No, no better not. Chris might disqualify me for that._"

"**Have you thrown up yet?**"

Puzzle was back on the screen, drumming his fingers on the counter in front of him. "**I swear, you people don't appreciate good torture nowadays.**"

"I think the problem with you, Puzzle," Beth said, "is with you."

"**Pardon?**"

"The problem is that you're so used to torture, that when you get a challenge that's supposed to involve real torture, you panicked."

"**... You know, I hadn't thought about that.**"

"Yep. So, what's the third part of my challenge, sucker?"

"**That was rude and uncalled for.**"

"I'm sorry, but ever since my braces came out, saying 'sucker' can actually be accomplished, and I'm loving it. ... Sucker."

"**Well Beth, you're going to be more of a scratcher with this challenge.**"

Chef Hatchet came into Beth's cell, pushing in a large blackboard. He set it right in front of Beth, and the farm girl noticed that there was no chalk for the board.

"**You might notice there is no chalk,**" Puzzle said. "**But there is a rather convenient item there for a blackboard. See it now, Beth?**"

Beth did. It was a rusty nail. She picked it up, feeling the unsanitary, coarse texture of it on her fingers, and she winced. "Um, I'm afraid to ask what I have to do."

"**Write your name on the blackboard with the rusty nail, Beth. Scratch or die, it's your choice.**"

Beth looked at the rusty nail, then looked at the blackboard, then shrugged. She began scratching the 'B' of her name, and the most unholy of wails screeched as a result.

Chef Hatchet, who was still in the cell, ran out screaming with his hands on his ears. The TV screen that Puzzle was on cracked, then shattered. Woodland animals were stunned, it knocked birds out of the air, the brown bear Fuzzy Wuzzums ran into his cave wailing, and the Sasquatchinakwa fainted dead away.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as scratchy.)**

Beth - "Sure, it was bad. But everyone who's ever had braces knows that anything high-pitched sets your braces on end. And when your teeth are rattling as metal braces glued to them vibrate and tug, while your ears are exploding and your head is pounding..."

\She lowers her voice and covers her mouth with a hand, trying to sound like Puzzle.\ "**It is pure hell, suckers.**" \She starts laughing, snorting and slapping her knee.\

* * *

Beth smiled and rocked on her feet as she watched Chris Maclean idly fiddle with the controls to the cameras.

"So, this means I have immunity?"

"Yes, it does," the host said as he rubbed his ears. "Honestly Beth, how is it that you weren't as disturbed as we were?"

"Well, I'm still tasting copper in my mouth, does that help?"

"A little, I guess," said Harold. His arm was being bandaged by Chef Hatchet, and the lanky nerd was wincing.

Cody, who had easily programmed the clocks on the gizmos, won his freedom, and had stopped at the communal washrooms for a really long and relieving pee, stood next to the two.

"He is going to be okay, isn't he doctor Chef?" the tech-geek asked, looking worried.

"Yes yes, just mild first degree burns. Why are you so concerned?"

"It's called humanity, Chef," the tech-geek said, then looked away and muttered under his breath, "but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you now?"

"So if Cody, Harold and I have immunity," Beth asked, "that means that the other four are still in the game?"

"Some of them," the handsome host replied. "Gwen's about to face the third part, Bridgette's struggling with hers, Izzy disqualified herself by freeing herself prematurely, and Zeke's being interrogated by one of the interns; don't know how good he's doing."

Beth nodded as she took this all in. "By the way, loved that touch with the jellybeans, Chris. It was a great play off of what Izzy's been ranting about."

"Yeah, I did that to push her buttons, since she's been harping about that since day one. It's like some stupid running gag that has no point," the host shrugged. "But what are you going to do, eh?"

Izzy, who was standing outside the operations tent and listening in, gasped silently. "Wait," she whispered to herself, "if he's truly not responsible then who..."

The redhead's eyes widened, her pupils shrunk in horror. "Oh no... oh God... if that's the case...!"

She bolted off, her presence unknown to those inside the operations tent. "So what's Gwen's challenge?" Beth asked.

"Excellent question, Beth! You get a cookie," the host said and tossed her a sugar cookie. She ate it quite happily as the host continued to speak as he pulled down his mask over his face, "**Gwen's doom is going to be broadcast to her now.**"

* * *

**(Gwen)**

The goth girl leaned back against the wall of her cell, keeping her arms and legs crossed in an angry pout. She rolled her eyes as Puzzle came back on the screen, and started to talk with the same empty threats like, "**death**," "**decapitation**," and "**buckets of blood pouring from heads**."

"**And worse than all that,**" Puzzle continued to rant as he pushed a button, "**is this!**"

A metal bar descended from the ceiling, and a poster unraveled from it. It was a large poster of Heather, smiling in that sinister manner she'd perfected.

"Oh goody, the succubus has been flattened," Gwen said dryly. "What do you want me to do?"

"**Give the Heather poster a big, fat, wet kiss on the lips. On the poster, that is.**"

Gwen's eyes widened. She stood up and shouted, "No! No no no no no! I refuse to do that!"

"**Kiss or die, Gwen. It's your choi-**"

"I think I'd rather die, thank you."

"**Dudette, it's just a poster. And don't interrupt my classic horror movie lines-**"

"You don't do them right," Gwen roared, throwing her hands up in the air in indignation. "And I'm not kissing that poster, because I know that one day, I'll be browsing YouTube, and I'll be seeing that in every damn fan made movie."

She began to pace back and forth, nearing the poster and then walking away from it. "You never show affection for your enemies in horror movies, especially in the _Cut_ series! The morons that do either lose their sanity, or become the next apprentice, and I'm no Chris Maclean the 2nd!"

"**I hope not, you couldn't pull off the rugged handsomeness that he does,**" Puzzle said. He began fiddling with the switches, and caused the poster to swing back and forth. "**Come on, Gwenie, kiss the Heather poste-**"

"Don't you," Gwen snapped, turning around with her eyes blazing; she stormed towards the TV, pointing at it menacingly. "Ever... call me-"

The goth girl was struck on the head by the swinging metal bar the poster was connected to. Puzzle winced as Gwen went down hard, whimpering, "Gwenie," before she lost consciousness.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as unconscious.)**

Gwen - \rubbing her forehead where the bandage is\ "Have I mentioned before how much I really hate this show?"

* * *

**(Bridgette)**

The surfer girl flicked open the lighter, then clicked the lever. The orange fire burst in front of her eyes, and it seemed to wave towards the little photo.

"Do or die, Bridge...," she said, a miserable scowl on her face. "Immunity... everyone else probably passed by now... do it... do it..."

The flame was now inches from the little photo of Heather during her ugly girl days. Bridgette hissed air through her teeth, preparing to burn it to ashes...

"NO," she shouted, jerking the lighter away from the photo. "I cannot do this! I cannot back stab Ezekiel and Gwen like this."

She took several deep breaths, then looked at ugly tween Heather on the photo. "I'm not like her.

"So go ahead and disqualify me, Chris. I don't care if I get eliminated from this contest, I do it with a clear conscience."

The TV buzzed on, and Puzzle came on. "**Actually, that's just what I wanted you to do.**"

"Say wha'?"

"**You passed the test for not burning the photo, which would have been wrong.**"

"But... but you told me to burn it or I'd lose!"

"**Yes, it was a trick. You weren't supposed to do what I said would win immunity to win immunity. It's the psychological lesson that us serial torturers and murders try to teach people.**"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as psychological.)**

Bridgette - \frowning\ "I fail to see the logic in that. At all."

* * *

**(Back to Bridgette)**

"So I passed? I have immunity?"

"**Yes, yes you do. Here's the key.**"

A key slid out from a slot in the wall, and Bridgette used it to unlock her cuffs. After leaving the cell, she walked to the side, and psyched herself up.

"You can make me eat meat," she muttered, taking deep breaths, "but you cannot make me digest it!"

She stuck her finger down her throat and induced vomiting.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as vomiting.)**

Bridgette - "I've probably thrown up more than anyone on this show. Geoff is such a sweetheart for wanting to kiss me after I've puked so often."

* * *

**(Later...)**

Gwen moaned, then blinked her eyes. She sat up, trying to ignore her throbbing headache. "Wh-where am I?" she stammered to say.

"You're in the operations tent, Gwen," Bridgette, reeking of vomit, said to her. She helped balance her friend out, her hands on the goth girl's shoulders. She looked very concerned and asked, "Are you alright? Can you see and hear okay?"

"I think so," Gwen said, then looked at her friend blankly. "... But... who are you?

"... And... who am I?"

When the surfer girl's eyes widened in terror, Gwen grinned impishly. "Just kidding."

As Bridgette let out a relieved laugh and hugged her friend, Chris turned to the two girls. "Hey Gwen, glad you're awake. You're about to see our last camper try to complete his challenge."

"Fine fine, but who brought me here, anyway?" Gwen asked. "I don't remember any of that."

"Cody carried you here," Beth said, beaming at the tech-geek. "You should have seen how concerned he was."

Gwen blinked, then looked at Cody. The tech-geek smiled, waved, then flexed. The goth girl let out a laugh, and said, "Well um... thank you."

"Hush now," Chris declared. "I'm watching the intern interrogate Zeke!"

The other campers gathered around the TV screen that showed the inside of Ezekiel's cell. The prairie boy had a bloody wound on the right side of his forehead, and he looked dazed. The intern inside the cell looked like a man in his senior years, wearing dark gray and black, and also wearing the Puzzle mask.

"Why does Zeke have blood on him, dude?" Harold asked.

"Oh, I'm sure it's fake, just to scare him," Chris said, chuckling. "Mighty wicked scare tactic there, Chef."

The large cook blinked, then looked around as if trying to find an answer. "Um, what do you mean, Chris?"

"Dude, you put Ezekiel in his cell and gave the intern instructions, didn't you?"

Chef blinked, more puzzled now. "Nooooo... I thought you did."

"No, I didn't, dude."

"Wait wait wait," Bridgette said, looking between the host and the cook co-host. "If neither of you two instructed this guy after we were drugged, then what's that guy doing with Zeke?"

"**I grow tired of this now, Ezekiel**," the man in the cell shouted, shaking his fist at the prairie boy. "**Tell me where the rest of the jellybean stashes are, NOW!**"

He kicked Ezekiel in the stomach, knocking the wind out of the toque-wearing teen. The prairie boy gasped for air, unable to brace himself for when he was slugged across the face by the masked man.

* * *

**(Ezekiel)**

"Do your woo'rst, you hoser," Ezekiel spat between heaves. "And for the record, you hit like a girl, eh."

Puzzle Man cracked his knuckles, and pulled his fist back. He was startled when the speaker in the room blared.

"Hey," Chris Maclean's voice filled the room; he sounded angry. "Dude! I don't know what got into your head when you applied for this job, but that is _way_ out of bounds!"

"**Who the hell is that?**" the man snarled, looking back at the speaker.

"Dude, you don't know _me_?" Chris was even more angry now. "I'm Chris Maclean, the host of the show!"

"** 'Show'?**" Puzzle Man repeated. "**What show?**"

"Total Drama Comeback! You know, the one you're signed up for! Dude, cut the act, you've really crossed the line here."

"**I don't know anything about a show. I am here on my own business, Mr. Maclean.**"

"What?" the host sounded really confused now. "Dude, who the hell are you?"

"**I am... Brainteaser.**"

Silence from Chris, then the host squeaked out, "Oh crap. The _real_ one?"

"**Yes, you fool! I'm not like that guy in those stupid movies based off me!**"

"_Another_ serial killer has come to this island?!" Harold could be heard yelling. "Chris, did you put a rent-for-murdering-tenants sale in the classified ads for this place? Idiot!"

"Wait, you mean to say," Beth, shouting in the back, "that those _Cut_ movies are based off a real criminal?"

"**Young lady,**" Brainteaser snapped, sounding firm but calm, "**I am no criminal. I am a philosopher, a teacher, one of the few justices left in the world. I teach people how sacred life is by telling them to mutilate their bodies and torture themselves in order to survive.**"

"I doo'nt see the logic in that, eh," Ezekiel grumbled, "at all."

"**The unenlightened will never understand,**" the masked man said. "**But show or no show, Ezekiel, I need to know what I came here for. I know you've been behind the investigation of my jellybean smuggling, and I captured you so I could get the truth.**

"**A crate of my best brand has been taken, and I want to know-**"

"Dude, jellybeans?!" Chris shouted, his voice crackling over the speaker. "You actually smuggle those?!"

"**Yes, Mr. Maclean,**" Brainteaser said, visibly frustrated. "**I have to make ends meet, don't you know? Death trap parts don't grow on trees.**"

"But... jellybeans?"

"**Jellybeans with a high concentrate of the most potent, most illegal drugs ever known to man,**" the masked man said, holding up a finger. "**They fetch such a high price on the black market, and no one would suspect them to be traded in Canada, on this little island of all places.**

"**I arrived here recently, and never thought I'd be bothered. E****xcept this young man here, who's most likely an agent or undercover cop, appeared one day with some friends,**" Brainteaser continued, pointing at Ezekiel. "**And everyone knows toques are suspicious. I**** tried to eliminate him, rig the kart vehicles that he has here to explode on impact. I even released this crocodile that was rather conveniently placed in a cage, but it was killed by a duck...**"

Brainteaser scratched his head. "**I'm still not sure how the hell a duck managed to kill a crocodile, but that WAS a really stupid crocodile-**"

"But Zeke's not the one about jellybeans," Chris shouted. "That was Iz-"

Someone slapped their hand over the host's mouth. Brainteaser hesitated, then turned to Ezekiel.

"**It's not you? Then who is it?**" he asked.

"I'm not," Ezekiel spat, "telling you anything, eh."

"**Tell me who is responsible for tracking my efforts on this island, Ezekiel, and you'll leave unharmed.**"

Ezekiel thought about it. Izzy was obviously responsible, and if this man lived up to his word, he'd be free and this torturer / murder / jellybean smuggler would go after Izzy instead.

"No," then added, "Hell no."

Brainteaser took a deep breath. "**Very well then. You leave me no choice, though your loyalty to your partner is admirable.**"

The masked man picked up something behind him, something plugged into the wall, something that had a saw blade on it.

"**Remember those two red pieces of tape on your leg?**" Brainteaser asked, then continued without waiting for an answer. "**The lower one, if your leg is severed there, will be quite painful, but probably not fatal.**

"**But the higher one is right over an artery, and if severed there, you'll bleed to death in a couple minutes. Tell me now who's responsible, and I'll cut your leg off at the lower tape.**"

Ezekiel started to shake, sweat dripping from his forehead. Brainteaser pushed the button on the power saw; the high-pitched whirl of the blade made the toque-wearing teen cry out in terror.

"**Lower or higher, Ezekiel. Your choice.**"

"You know," Chris mused over the speaker, "I say that much better than you do, dude."

The prairie boy took several deep breaths, then scowled. "Do your woo'rst, eh."

"**Oh, I intend to, you foolishly foolish fool.**"

"Um Chris?" Ezekiel shouted, as Brainteaser held down the button and started the saw up. "Any chance I could get some HELP!?!"

Chris cleared his throat, then nervously chuckled. "Sorry to tell you this, but that cell's in is quite a distance from the tent.

"What pants size do you wear, so I can order you some one-legged ones?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as helpful.)**

Ezekiel - \deadpan sarcasm\ "Once a'geen, Chris Maclean proves how generous he can truly be, eh."

* * *

**(Ezekiel again, not looking good here...)**

"**Time's up, Ezekiel,**" Brainteaser said, kneeling down at Ezekiel's side. He stood on Ezekiel's leg and held the boy still with his other hand, a firm, iron-like grasp. "**I'm going for the higher. Don't say I didn't warn you, you dorky dork.**"

Ezekiel held his cool for a few seconds, then let out a horrified scream. He heard someone else shrieking over the speaker, possibly Bridgette.

Someone kicked the door open to the cell, causing a heart-stopping slam. Brainteaser pulled the saw up right before cutting into Ezekiel's leg, and shouted, "**Who's there?!**"

Izzy was there, heaving mad. She let out a guttural growl at Brainteaser, her lips tugging back to bare her teeth.

"LET GO OF HIM, YOU BITCH!!"

Izzy flung herself at the torturer / murder / jellybean smuggler. She pounded him to the floor, knocking the power saw out of his hand; it died out, and the terrifying whir of Brainteaser's blade was silenced in a few seconds.

And then Izzy beat the ever-loving crap out of him.

"Leave Ezekiel alone, you scum bag," she roared as she punched him in the face with every insult. "You jellybean smuggler! You evil hoser! You stupid dickweed! You rotten douche bag!

"And the actor in the _Cut_ movies," she shrieked, "is much more handsome and believable than you are."

This one-sided fight continued on for about half a minute, with Izzy hollering insults and pummeling the holy bajeebers out of him. It only stopped temporarily when Ezekiel yanked her off of him, but she started to kick him once he pulled her up to her feet. And she wasn't letting up on the kicks either

"Izzy, no, stop it," Ezekiel shouted. "You're gonna kill him, eh!"

"Good!"

"But then you'll be wanted for murder!"

"I'm already wanted!"

"But Izzy!"

He turned her around, getting her to face him. "If you capture him, there can be a reward! Or maybe... a bargain?"

Izzy looked into his eyes, puzzled at first. Brainteaser let out a very pathetic whimper, and she gave him a pigeon kick to the noggin.

* * *

**(Later...)**

The police officer was busy taking the details, filled in by the campers but mostly Ezekiel. "Boys and girls," he said, looking very pleased, " I cannot tell you how happy I am to have Brainteaser in custody, eh."

As the torturer / murder / jellybean smuggler was being led to a police helicopter in handcuffs, he limped and cried like a baby. The police officer talking to the campers clicked his tongue. "He's the woo'rst of Canada's three most vicious criminals, eh. He'll get life, at the least."

"Who are the other two?" Beth asked, curious.

"Oh, the serial killer with the chain saw and a hook comes in second," the officer said, scratching his head in thought, "and some juvie kid named Duncan."

"... Duncan?!" Gwen declared. "But he doesn't have any real serious crimes! How can he be the third most notorious criminal in the country?"

"Well, this is Canada, hon," the officer said. "We doo'nt get that many.

"Anyway, since you have footage of Izzy personally stopping Brainteaser in the act, not to mention subduing him and handcuffing him for the police, the RCMP is moor' than glad to drop the charges we have on her, eh."

"That's great," Cody cheered.

"But where is she, eh?" the officer asked, looking around. "I'd like to thank her personally, I've been after Brainteaser for some time..."

"She didn't want to be around when the police came, officer," Ezekiel confessed, shrugging his shoulders. As he subconsciously rubbed the bandage around his head, he added, "She's still a little nervous around cops, eh."

"Alright then," the policeman said, flipping his notepad closed. "I believe I got everything I need, eh."

He put his hand on Ezekiel's shoulder. "If you need anything, any counseling for your encounter..."

"I'll be fine, eh."

"Yoo'r a tough kid, Zeke. Now go win Total Drama Comeback, my wife's been rooting for you."

The officer walked over to the police helicopter, waving back to the campers as he departed. Chris and the others watched it take off and leave, and the host let out a long sigh.

"That helicopter's not as cool as mine," the host said, smirking.

Harold let out a loud whistle, and shouted, "Izzy, they're gone! You can come out now!"

The redhead peeked out from behind a bush, then smiled. Throwing away the small shrubs she had held over her head for camo, she ran over ot the campers. "Are the charges on me dropped? Really?"

"They said so," Bridgette said, smiling at her.

Chef Hatchet grumbled something under his breath about the police being 'soft on crime,' but no one listened to him. Izzy giggled and clapped.

"I am so happy! I didn't think it was Brainteaser personally, but once I thought how it couldn't have been any of the other campers, Chef, Chris, the interns, Groucho the Duck, Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear, the Sasquatchinakwa, or myself, I knew it had to be someone who was on the island besides us! And that someone would be after us if opportunity ever presented itself!

"And I'm more happy," Izzy said as she grabbed Ezekiel's shoulder, "that Ezekiel didn't lose his leg to that nasty jellybean smuggler!"

"I still cannot believe you were telling the truth about that," Gwen admitted.

"You seriously kicked his butt," Harold gushed. "That was awesome, extremely awesome even!"

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Beth asked.

Ezekiel said nothing; he stood there taking deep breaths, as he had been doing ever since his rescue. Bridgette noticed this first, and said, "Zeke? Are you okay?"

"Zeke, you still in shock or something?" Izzy asked, shaking him gently. "Don't worry Izzy, say something!"

The prairie boy blinked, as if being snapped out of a trance. He took Izzy by her shoulders and gave her a deep, long kiss. The redhead turned three shades of red.

"You saved my life, eh," he declared, hugging her tight. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Wow," was all Izzy swooned.

"Wow indeed," Beth said. "Zeke, how'd you learn to kiss like that?"

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Harold asked.

Izzy hugged Ezekiel back, and said, "Izzy is so happy now, you're no longer terrified to be around her!"

"I should say not, eh," the prairie boy said, letting out relieved laughter. "Oh man... Izzy... I'm so happy right now alive. I almost had to live with a peg leg or something like that, eh."

"I knew a pirate with a peg leg," Izzy told him. "He got termites one day and fell on his face during a duel. Sad, really."

Gwen shook her head, though she was smiling. "Oh, Izzy. You beat down a murderer, then you're telling crazy stories five minutes later."

Bridgette was next to hug Ezekiel. After wiping the tears from her eyes, she fished the tween Heather photo from her pocket. "Zeke," she said, "I'm really sorry, but I think this belongs to you."

Ezekiel's eyes widened when he took it back. "Oh... Bridgette, how'd you get this, eh?"

"Um," Bridgette stammered, "I took it-"

"No, I took it," Gwen cut in. "Sorry, home school, but it happened during the scavenger hunt challenge."

The prairie boy sighed, then said, "Doo'nt bother Heather a'boot it, please?"

Gwen touched her head bandage. "Hey, her swinging image caused me a concussion, do I really have to do her any favors?"

Beth giggled. "Well, it's so nice that everything ended up happily!"

"Unlike horror movies," Cody declared, smiling.

"Being tortured wasn't too bad," Harold admitted. "Puzzle was a lame villain, anyway."

"Hey now," Chris argued, frowning. "I'm sorry to break the news, campers, but someone is still leaving this island tonight."

"What?" replied Bridgette, shocked. "After all that?!"

* * *

**(Later...)**

The seven campers sat on the stump seats, watching Chris Maclean. The host stood in front of them, instead of behind the oil drum as per usual.

"The producers, Chef Hatchet, and I talked about the results of this challenge," the host explained to them. "And we came to a conclusion that we felt was the most fair."

"You didn't talk to me," Chef Hatchet, on the side, bitterly remarked.

"Beth, Harold, Cody, and Bridgette passed the challenge set up for them," Chris continued. "Ezekiel stood his ground against a real torturer / murderer / jellybean smuggler, and Izzy beat the living snot out of that guy and helped captured him.

"Which leaves Gwen, who couldn't complete her challenge or stand up to another murderer, the only one who is viable to walk the Dock of Shame."

"What?" Bridgette gasped. "That's not fair!"

Gwen, however, shrugged her shoulders.

"Good. I am so sick of this place, I'm actually glad to leave."

"Gwen...," Ezekiel started, looking guilty and sad for the goth girl.

"Guys, don't try to talk me out of this," she said as she stood up, smirking. "Unless, of course, one of you want to leave instead of me."

"I won't let that," Chris said. "Selflessness makes bad ratings!"

Gwen gathered up her stuff in her bags, and took the time to say good-bye to her friends. She hugged Bridgette and Cody, and high-fived most of the others. She fist-bumped with Izzy, exchanging wicked grins that only girls who've conquered murderers can pull off. The goth girl stopped in front of Chris.

"Oh, and by the way, Chris," she said, smiling all nice, "this is for everything you did for me and my friends."

She kneed him as hard as she possibly could in the groin.

As Chris fell to the ground writhing in pain, the six remaining campers and Chef cheered loudly for her. She walked the Dock of Shame, boarded the Boat of Losers, and waved good-bye to them.

"Bye Gwen," Ezekiel called out, waving still. "We'll miss you, eh!"

"Say hi to Trent, Geoff, and all the others for us," Bridgette cried.

"Keep on trucking, fellow murderer beater," Izzy shouted.

When Gwen was out of sight, the six campers walked slowly back to the cabins. They stopped in front of the two buildings, then exchanged glances.

"Ummmm," Beth stammered, looking scared. "Good night?"

"I... guess...," Harold said, hesitantly as he looked around.

An awkward silence loomed over the six campers. The wild howled through the trees, sending shivers down their spines.

Izzy finally broke the ice. "Let's all sleep in the same cabin, since we're going to be freaking scared out of our wits tonight."

"Yes," the others shouted, and they all ran into boys' side of the Screaming Gophers cabin.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Not as freaking scared.)**

**Chris Maclean** - \holding his crotch in pain, his voice slightly higher\ "What's with this trend of my getting hurt after every marshmallow ceremony since the Final Ten? It ain't funny!"

**Chef Hatchet** - \laughing\ "Oh man, it's too funny to see Chris getting hurt every ceremony! He so deserves it, with all his..." \he puts on one of the Puzzle masks\ "**pathetic excuses of torture that wouldn't even be censored in the American version!**"

**Harold** - "What is with this island and how it attracts violent murders, huh? Is there a ferry for them?"

**Ezekiel** - \sighs happily\ "It's good to be alive, eh. And with all my limbs."

**Izzy** - "Izzy's the best! Woohoo, I'm the woman, I'm the woman! And I'm so happy that Ezekiel likes me again! And just between you and me and the entire viewing world..."

\She leans up to the camera and whispers.\ "He's a really good kisser. Heather, you better work to deserve those lips!"

* * *

Gwen sighed, miserable now on the Boat of Losers as it practically drifted towards it's destination.

"Stupid murderers. God, they get really annoying."

Someone inside the cabin of the boat cleared his throat. His voice echoed with that terrible, amplified chill. "**Hello, Gwen,**" the mysterious figure said. "**You thought you could escape me?**"

The goth girl's froze, her heart skipping a couple beats. She managed to look up at the shadowy figure.

"**Well, I managed to get away. And now... I want to play a game.**"

Gwen was frozen in terror for a few more seconds, then she snarled. "I am so...," she growled as she stormed over to the figure, "not...," she ripped off the person's mask, "in the mood! ...!"

She froze again when she saw who it was.

"Joke, joke," Trent whimpered, holding his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, it was in bad taste!"

Gwen blinked, then grabbed his shirt's collar. "You jerk," she shouted, though a smile was breaking out across her face. "Oh damn it, Trent, you know me too well!"

She yanked her boyfriend close to her, then gave him a kiss. He returned it, wrapping his arms around her. The moon shone down on the romantic moment, as the RCMP helicopter flew past the glowing sphere in the night sky.

* * *

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah, Heather, Gwen.

**Remaining Campers** - Harold, Cody, Beth, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Izzy. (6 left.)

* * *

--

--

--

I hope I didn't offend too many Saw fans. I really hope no Gwen fans are going to come after me now, wanting to play a game. Gulp.

HA! I fooled you all! The jellybean smuggler was an original character! I won, I won, I won! \runs around pumping my fists in the air\

If you thought that was too far of a stretch, your only hint was that Ezekiel's interrogator was much harsher than the others, and Chris didn't pay Zeke any attention until the very end.

Yes, I completely ripped off the horror episode from TDI. I have no shame.

Six more campers remaining! Who's next to go, and who's ready for music next challenge? Who is ready to ROCK?! WOOHOO!


	45. Day 17, Part 1: Rockin' Rock Stars Rock!

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. All songs are the property of their respected artists and companies, and no profit is being made in the featuring of their songs; I cannot be held responsible if someone hears you singing them, and you get smacked for it.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Whoa, Gwen being voted off was the most polar I've ever seen you all. Better be prepared for more reactions like that. Remember people, that three more of these contestants are going to lose, so don't get too mad!

Also, I've decided to change my poll to something more personal: **Which two campers**** do you want to win Total Drama Comeback?** The losers will be taken out of the poll once the next chapter, the one after the one where they get voted off, is uploaded; I'm sorry if this removes your vote, and I'm not sure if you can re-vote. But go vote, I'm anxious to see who's the highest, even though it won't influence who wins this!

--

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback...

Our challengers were taken against their will, and put into cells! Inspired by the _Cut_ film series, which are a horror / thriller / torture series popular with people who like seeing people get hurt (like me), we decided to put our campers through that torture! And boy was it torturous! They had to eat jellybeans and hot dogs, they had to reprogram clocks and... drink sodas...

You know, maybe it doesn't sound so terrible when you say it, but they suffered! Especially Ezekiel, who was kidnapped by a real serial torturer and murderer! Man, I should consider hiring security when I have these horror-themed challenges!

Luckily, Izzy was on the scene, and she beat the crap out of that murderer! The police arrested him, Zeke was saved, and everyone was happy. Even Gwen was, though she was walking the Dock of Shame that night on a technicality; what's that goth girl's beef anyway?

Now we're down to six campers! The tension is high, and though they get along, they cannot deny that one more camper will be eliminated tonight! Who's it going to be?

We'll find out tonight, when the world hears our music! Are you ready to rock? Are you ready to jam?! Are you ready to hear some classic songs, some of your favorites, be butchered by six tone-deaf kids? Then get your lighters out, flex your necks, and get ready to be a hero of the guitar on TOTAL... DRAMA... COMEBACK, BABY!! WOO!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 45 (Day 17, Part 1)** - Wawanakwa Rhapsody

* * *

The six campers sat in the cafeteria, trying to eat their breakfast. None of them were that energetic, since they hadn't slept well. Ever since the horror-themed challenge, they had been suffering nightmares and lack of sleep.

And there was the fact that Chris played a horror-theme track every night, complete with sounds of leaves rustling, metallic scratches, human whimpers, and inhuman growling. Izzy managed to steal it and break it into pieces last night.

Chris surveyed the six teens, doing a few fact checks. He kept note of these, because he loved to add them to Wikipedia, changing it every episode; he also liked to put lies on it, and had said about three times that Ezekiel had been voted off before a new episode had been released.

"Three girls, three boys. Three Killer Bass, three Screaming Gophers," he said to himself, loud enough for everyone to hear. "One blond, four brunettes, and a redhead."

"Damn straight," Izzy said, grinning.

"Though Bridgette is the only Cool Kids Club member left from our second challenge," Chris mused, rubbing his chin. "Will that be an unspoken rivalry, a hidden resentment?"

"No," the other five of the former team Freaks 'n Geeks replied in unison.

The handsome host shrugged, then grinned. "You six deserve some congratulations, don't you know? You've all endured _way_ longer than you did last season, and you're coming up to the Final Three, the final challenge of Total Drama Comeback!

"If you all want to do some major bragging, please do so," Chris said, clapping his hands as he laughed. "I know I would!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - We made it to the Final Six too!)**

**Harold** - "Yes! Who's the man, huh? I endured some of the most awful challenges ever, I conquered another gummi slug crippling incident, and I'm still in this game! And the best part of it all is, I'm with five really cool people! I'd love to win, but I'd love to see them win too! Let's roll, dudes!"

**Cody** - "I think it was a combination of sheer luck, gradual acceptance, and some skill that got me up here. And now that I'm here, I'm loving it. True, I don't have a girlfriend, but there's always a chance. Beth and I are getting along swimmingly, and you never know..." \He smiles and looks up at the ceiling.\ "But a guy can hope."

**Bridgette** - "I think part of Gwen stayed here with me, because I'm sick of this place. How much more of being hurt and humiliated by Chris can I take? Though my fellow campers are wonderful, and I love them. Speaking of love, Geoff! I miss you so much, and I wish you were here; even though, for some reason, I feel like you being here might distract me too much."

**Beth** - "I am stoked! I made it this far! Mom, dad, you were right! If I tried my best, I would do exceptionally well! Maybe I'm a lot better at this kind of stuff than I thought, or maybe it's because Heather's not here. Either way, I'm so happy! Eeeeee!"

**Ezekiel** - "Ever since I got here, I've been...," \he starts counting on his fingers\ "punched in the nose, kicked in the groin a couple times, attacked by a great deal of carnivores, splashed with ice water on a snoo' day, hit by a mud slide, shot in the butt with an arrow, received a serious concussion, and I was nearly tortured to death by a serial killer! So... why do I have the urge to say I've had a great time, eh?"

**Izzy** - "I'm so going to win this! And I cannot wait to see who wins with me! These people are so worthy of winning too! I'm worthy too! I mean, not only have I endured three close-shaves in the marshmallow ceremonies, but I took down a murderer / torturer / jellybean smuggler! I'm a wild and crazy gal!"

* * *

Chris Maclean was grinning still as the campers continued to eat. "Well, tonight, we will have a rockin' contest, literally! We are going to make Wawanakwa shake! Who here likes to play Guitar Savior?"

Cody and Harold exchanged glances. "Um, Chris?" the tech-geek spoke up. "Don't you mean Guitar He-"

"No no shush shush," the handsome host shouted, waving his hands frantically. "We couldn't get the rights! Well, I assume you've all heard of it. And you've probably heard of the musical game 'N Roll Band!"

Harold slammed his head on the table. "Dude," he muttered, "are we getting some cheap knockoff of the games?"

"But I've never played those games," Bridgette admitted, Beth nodding right next to her.

"It doesn't matter, for tonight, when we rock and roll," Chris said, giving the 'hang loose' sign, "we are gonna rock all night!

"It's time for the _Terrific Wawanakwa Outstanding Battle Of Our Bands Show_ challenge!"

The campers looked excited, exchanging pleased glances. Harold looked most excited, then he blanched. "Wait, as an anagram, that spells out... that's dirty!"

"Moving along," Chris interrupted, "it's time to show you all our new stage that you'll be performing on tonight!"

* * *

The stage was huge, and the decorations and instruments were divided into three parts. Chef Hatchet stood in the center, holding a plastic guitar. There were drums, keyboards, more guitars, and a few microphones, but all of them looked like they were styled differently than normal.

"This is our Battle Of Our Bands stage," Chris Maclean explained to them. "Tonight, you will be using our very special instruments."

Chef Hatchet strummed on the fake guitar, then he lifted it up over his head and smashed it to pieces on the stage. "Sorry," he apologized, "I always wanted to do that."

"I wanna do that," Izzy squealed in delight.

"What do you mean by 'special instruments'?" Beth asked.

"Well, you see, there's no way that we could get you six to be good enough at the guitar, keyboard, and the drums. And heck, I know some of you cannot sing!"

"I can sing," Beth declared. She began to sing one of her favorite songs, and she was sadly and horribly off-key. Izzy started to howl, and the farm girl stopped to glare at her.

"Nice try, Beth," Chris said, chuckling. "But you're not going to be left out. Because you see, the four instruments (guitar, keyboard, drums, and microphone) have been styled to make you sound like a total professional, so long as playing or singing along close enough to the tune!"

"That's really cool," Cody said, clapping.

"Wow, how could someone do something like that?" Bridgette asked. "It'd take a really skilled inventor to make an instrument that makes any kind of playing sound good."

"Why, thank you, dear Bridgette."

The six turned around to see Joel there, holding one of the plastic guitars. "It took some time, and I kept getting interrupted by those stupid commercials, but I managed to perfect them. See here?"

He started flipping the strummer, and a perfect tune of a theme song came out as his other hand fiddled with the notes. "Now it's not going to make you perfect, you still have to be strumming and doing notes that are something like the song involved. Think of it as if you had the timing for the games put so high, you could strum a mile off and still make it."

"Neat, eh," Ezekiel said.

Harold, on the other hand, looked crestfallen. "Dude, that makes it sound too easy."

"As a fellow Guitar...," Joel stopped, glanced at Chris and rolled his eyes, "Savior fan, I have to say, it does _sound_ too easy, Harold. However, there are two factors you have to keep into play here.

"One is that you don't have a TV screen in front of you, so you have no guide to the songs. Two, you're going to be performing in front of a very large crowd tonight, including your former campers!"

The six campers gasped. "A large audience?" Beth shouted.

"Our former campers?" Bridgette exclaimed.

"Tonight?!" Ezekiel cried out. "Oh man... I doo'nt think I'm ready... I've never performed live before, eh! I've never bin on stage before either!"

"Exactly," Joel said. "There's where the tension comes from."

Chris was nodding with what Joel was saying. "What our inventor here says is true. You have until tonight to practice your songs, know your instruments, and also, you're going to be dressing up tonight!"

Izzy, Cody, and Harold cheered loudly. "I'm gonna look like a real rock star," Harold declared. "Awesome!"

"Ladies, watch out," Cody shouted, "I'm gonna be the steamiest rock star ever!" Beth giggled, and the tech-geek couldn't help but flush at the attention.

"Izzy's gonna look like one of those rock video skanks, woohoo," the redhead cheered. Bridgette balked, and looked over at Chris as if to ask, "Do I have to too?"

"Wait, what are we playing?" Ezekiel asked.

Chris rubbed his chin. "We do need to agree to a common theme. Any ideas, Zeke?"

The prairie boy scratched his head. He pulled Tyler's iPod from his pocket, and started to shuffle through the songs.

"I vote for death metal," Izzy shouted. While Harold and Cody cheered with her, Bridgette paled a little.

"Wait guys, wait," she pleaded. "I really am not into that kind of music."

"Well, what do you like, surfer girl?" Cody asked.

"... Oldies?"

Izzy fell down laughing. Harold raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I have no problem with that," he admitted. "But I'm more of a today's music kind of girl," Beth admitted.

"I wanted to stay as true to Guitar Savior and 'N Roll Band as possible, though," Cody protested. "I'm not saying that bands like the Beatles and ABBA are bad, but they're not going to be as good for this as, say, Guns 'n Roses and Led Zeppelin."

"Zeppelin?!" Bridgette repeated, clearly upset. "No way!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, Bridge," Cody shouted, waving his hands at her. "Let's not go saying things that'll we'll regret!"

Bridgette shook her head, frowning.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - If you listen to death metal, do you die?)**

Bridgette - \frowning and crossing her arms\ "I knew a guy who listened to nothing but Led Zeppelin. He tried to convince my classmates that he got to second base with me and brought a bra to school that day as 'proof'.

"Yes, I know that's a little petty to dislike Led Zeppelin, but I'm sorry, that's all I think of when I hear them."

* * *

"I'm not doing Led Zeppelin," the surfer replied. "No, no way."

"We're not sticking to oldies," Izzy shot back.

"I want to stay close to Guitar Savior," Harold requested.

Ezekiel snapped his fingers and shouted, "Hey, I got a brilliant idea!"

When the others looked at him, he showed them what he was listening to on Tyler's iPod. "Why doo'nt we do what I did during the first challenge, eh?"

" 'Weird Al' Yankovic?" Beth read the name on the screen. "Who's he?"

"He does funny songs, namely parodies."

"Ooo, parodies," Cody shouted, a big smile on his face. "That sounds perfect! I love it!"

"That means we can do any music we want, and we can parody it," Harold concluded, snapping his fingers. "That's perfect."

"It's," Chris cut in, "still not a theme."

"It is if we base all the songs off of TDI, our fellow campers, and TDC," Beth said.

The handsome host blinked, then smiled. "You know what? I like that! We'll call it...

"The _T__errific Wawanakwa Outstanding Battle Of Our Bands Show Based On Invented New Golden Oldies_ challenge!"

Harold's jaw dropped. "That's dirty!"

"That's too long," Izzy complained. "How about... Guitar Saviors: The Ballard of Joel?"

Joel's eyes widened. "What? You'll name the concert after me?"

"You did invent these machines," Cody said. "And I'm loving the sound of this challenge so much!"

The six campers nodded, and Joel teared up. He pulled a oil-stained handkerchief from his pocket, blew his nose, and put it back in. A black stain was left on the inventor's nose. "Thank you so much!"

"Now campers, you'll need to practice your songs and the instruments," Chris informed them. "After that, we'll get you all looking like real rock stars! But before all that, we need to pick the teams!"

"I thought it was going to be a free-for-all until the end of the show," Beth asked.

"Well, we were aiming for that, but this challenge was too good to pass up, and we needed teams for it," Chris admitted. "You cannot have a battle of the bands with one-man singers."

"So what are the teams, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"It's going to be three teams of two. You can organize who is guitar and lead singer, and who is either keyboard or drums in the back."

"Izzy wants to be with Ezekiel," the crazy girl shouted. She glomped Ezekiel, holding him around the waist. "We can called the Brainteaser Bashers, or the Torturer Torturers, or the-"

"Um, Izzy?" Chris said. "I already picked one member for each team. You, Ezekiel, and Cody in your own bands."

"Awwww, why?" Izzy and Harold complained at the same time.

"Ezekiel being able to do a rock song to win our first challenge makes him dangerous enough on his own. Izzy's wild and crazy enough to be a rock star. And Cody is the tech-geek, he's probably played all these games and aced them."

"Yeah, I have," Cody said, waving his hand modestly. "But you know, I'm just really good at playing the songs I love."

"Rats," Izzy said. Harold sighed, then shrugged.

"So, you three have to pick one teammate among Bridgette, Harold, and Beth," Chris said. "Any one have preference?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Pick me! Oh oh! Pick me!)**

Beth - "I was pretty sure none of them would want me. I mean, who do want as a rock star band member: the really attractive Bridgette, the highly skilled Harold, or me?" \She sighs.\

* * *

Cody waved his hand in the air, and nodded vigorously. "Yes, I do! I'd like to have Beth as my teammate!"

Beth gasped, then she smiled; her teeth sparkled. "R-Really, Cody?"

"Wouldn't say it if I didn't! C'mon, we'll rock this challenge!"

She hugged him, grinning happily. "Alright then! How about we call ourselves... Against the Odds! Because no one thought we'd make it this far!"

"I like it," Cody said, and he high-fived her. "Beth, we are going to rock!"

Ezekiel looked over at Bridgette, and nervously scratched his toque. "Hey, Bridge? You wanna, um, be my partner?"

"I'd love to," she said, smiling at him. "Any idea what you want to name the team?"

"Something to do with nature seems fitting, since you're the environmentalist and I'm from the prairie, eh."

"Then how about... Nature's Wild Children?" Ezekiel grinned. "Depends on how wild you can be, Bridgette."

"Oh, I can try," she said, flipping her ponytail behind her with a smug grin.

"That leaves you and me, Harold my boy," Izzy shouted, heading over to the lanky nerd. "And you know what that means?"

"That means we're going to be the baddest and most skilled of all the bands," Harold said, grinning at her.

"Yeah, let's call us, Pheer Our Leet Skillz!"

With roars of enthusiasm, the two head butted each other. A few seconds later, they winced in terrible pain and rubbed the sore spots.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - That had to hurt!)**

Izzy - "Fear the leet skills of Pheer Our Leet Skillz!"

Cody - "Against the odds, Against the Odds will win!"

Ezekiel - "Nature's Wild Children will be... um, her wild children! Yeah, I kind of blew that one, eh."

* * *

Cody and Beth began to test out the machines. "These things are so cool, but how do they play the songs we want?" Beth asked her friend.

"I think Joel had it that you install the song into the main computer system that these things are plugged into," Cody explained. "Some, like the guitars, get their info from wireless ports, so we're free to swing them around."

Beth blinked, then smiled. "Um, okay, Code-miester!"

"You understood what that meant?"

"No, but I know you love it, so I'll let you enjoy it," she said with a giggle. "You do like this techno-stuff, don't you?"

"Live for it. Makes me a real geek."

"I don't think you're a geek, Cody. You just love technology, and that's really cool."

She smiled with all sincerity, and he felt his face flush. Looking away with a shy smile, he chuckled nervously. "Um, thanks."

Nearby them, Izzy was watching with a keen eye. "Think they'll hit it off?" she asked Harold.

"I don't see why not," Harold said as he looked through the song list on the computer.

"What if she's falling for my evil ex?"

"I dunno. Oh hey Izzy, did you really date Justin?"

"Well, I'm sure he has his own definition of 'date,' but my definition is what all other sane people consider it, and we went out on my definition."

"Okay then," Harold said. Like ninety-nine percent of people reading this right now, Harold was sure that Izzy's grasp on normal wasn't what others considered it, but he wasn't about to put down his teammate.

"Dang man, I cannot find any of my favorite bands in this search! Is there a search engine or something?"

"Right there, dude," said Joel, tapping the top-right side of the screen with the back of his fingernail. "You have to pan over it for it to appear."

"Oh cool, thanks Joel."

"No problem. Chris said I'm going to be 'roadie' for this challenge," the inventor said, rolling his eyes. "Just being dragged around to help with equipment, what kind of life is that? It's like being a groupie, but having to work."

"Aren't roadies and groupies the same thing?"

"Not really. Groupies are there more so to hang out with the band."

"And boinking," Izzy interjected, trying to be helpful.

"Yeah," Joel said, then he added, "Wait, what?"

Ezekiel was scanning through Tyler's iPod for more song ideas. "I actually am moo'r of a classical music person, so finding rock music for this may take a while," he admitted to Bridgette, who was practicing the keyboard.

"Really? I never figured you to be that type of person."

"Helps with studying, eh."

"Ah, now it makes sense," she commented. As she continued to practice on the keyboard, she said, "This really does play as if I'm a professional! Joel could make a ton of money off these things."

"Probably, but I think real musicians would stick to real instruments, eh." She nodded, then asked, "Any idea what you want to play?"

"I have a few ideas, and there's a lot of stuff by this Led Zeppelin band I heard Cody talk a'boot."

Bridgette scowled. "No Led Zeppelin, Zeke."

"Aww. I was hoping I could stand on the stage, and shoo't, 'Hey everyone, I'm gonna be playing some Led Zeke'lin'!"

The surfer girl let out a small chuckle, but shook her head. "I just would prefer not to play it, but if you want that to be your stage name... that's okay, I guess..."

She subconsciously crossed her arms over her breasts, grumbling under her breath. Ezekiel didn't understand this, but he figured if she wanted to tell him eventually, she would.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Rock on, dudes!)**

Bridgette - "It's not something I like recalling. Even though my friends and I were able prove that guy was a liar, guys were staring at my chest for the longest time after that. That was unnerving and degrading."

Harold - "Even though we're down to the Final Six, and tensions are high, I think this'll be one awesome contest! If I don't win, I can still respect the rocking skills of the winners!"

Beth - "Cody let me listen to some rock songs while we were doing selections. Are all rock stars bitter, or something? I don't want to be a rock star if I have to be bitter."

* * *

**(The night of Guitar Saviors: The Ballard of Joel)**

A huge crowd of contest winners (Chris's lawyers, like for the strikers game, were unable to foil the dreaded fine print again) was gathered in the clearing in front of the stage. They were anxious for the contest to start.

At the very front of the stage were the sixteen losers of Total Drama Comeback, most anxious of all the crowd members there; however, some were a little bitter.

"Man, I should be up there," grumbled Duncan. "This is what I've always wanted to do."

"Well, since you're already dressed like a rock star, I'm not surprised," Courtney said, playfully poking Duncan's nose. "But you can be the rowdy fan who screams louder than the band."

"No way, that's me," Owen shouted, jumping up and down. "Go Izzy, go Izzy, play Three Birds! PLAY THREE BIRDS!"

Trent smacked his forehead. "Owen... that's not the name of the song."

Gwen stood next to him, chuckling. "You know, if any of us should be up there, it should be you, Trent."

"I'm not a rock star, per say," he admitted. "My kind of guitar isn't the kind that gets raving fans."

"You do have one," the goth girl said, wrapping her arm around his waist and jerking him over to her.

Leshawna elbowed Heather. "Hey, drama queen," she said, "anxious to see your man up there?"

"He's not my man," the queen bee replied, glaring at Leshawna. "But your man seems suited for this kind of wild and crazy nerdiness."

Leshawna narrowed her eyes at Heather. "I cannot understand why Ezekiel likes you."

Tyler and Justin were comparing posters. Justin had drawn Beth, and Tyler had drawn Ezekiel; the only difference was that Justin looked like a real artist, and Tyler looked like a grade school scribble. The jock was glaring at the model furiously.

"Do you have to one-up me at everything?" he shouted.

"I wasn't even aware you were making one at the time, dude."

"Mine's still cool," Tyler replied, holding it up. A very anxious and very moral fan from behind snatched it, and the jock never saw it again.

Sighing miserably, he collapsed on the grass. "That's a really bad sign, you know?"

"Now you admit it?"

"Hey, shut up! I meant how I lost Ezekiel's poster! I don't want to jinx my friend."

"Don't believe in superstitions like that then. Zeke's got a lot of skill, he'll do fine. But Beth can a great job too."

"You two may think that," Geoff declared, jumping in, "but Bridgette's gonna be the rockin' party star!"

"I still think Cody's going to do the best," Noah, who had Katie (and Sadie, of course), nearby him, said to them. "Guy's a tech-geek, he should know how to... rock this party."

"Dude," Geoff said, thumping Noah on the back, "you need to work on your party spirit!"

"No thanks. You can have the spirit, yes you do."

"I've got spirit, how about you?" Geoff grabbed Noah's wrist and held it up. "Say we've got the POWAH!"

"... Power."

"Say we got the DRI-YI-YI-IVE!"

"... Drive."

The lights went off on the stage, catching everyone's attention. Sparklers went off, colored lights flashed, and then Chris Maclean appeared on the stage in a puff of smoke. The audience went wild.

Chris crossed his bare arms, as he was wearing a tattered, gray shirt now. He also wore worn-out jeans and black boots. He looked like a rock star himself, or someone trying to look like one but still made it look good.

"Welcome, rock star fanboys and fangirls," Chris roared into the megaphone he was holding. He waited for the applause that he loved so much to die down, then he continued.

"Tonight is the _Terrific Wawanakwa Outstanding Battle Of Our Bands Show Based On Invented New Golden Oldies_ challenge! Wooooo!"

"Hey that's dirty!" Noah, Eva, and Courtney cried out indignantly while everyone else cheered loudly.

"Here at the concert of the Guitar Saviors: The Ballard of Joel, we have three bands competing tonight! Only one band is going to win this, and then the six members are going to vote another loser tonight!

"And no, we're not doing it on the stage! You pack of freeloaders can watch it on cable, or on the website!"

Boos and jeers erupted, and that was almost as great of music to Chris's ears as the cheers were.

"You will also notice the giant, neon bar scales behind each of the band's sections," Chris said, gesturing with his hand. "After each song is over, give the band your approving cheers and shouts, and their score will soar!

"The scores are going to kept hidden, and I'll be announcing who got first place at the end. Each team is doing three songs, and speaking of teams, do you want to see your six rocking rock stars now?"

The crowd with such ferocity that it almost knocked Chris over.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Play Three Birds!)**

Chef Hatchet - \scoffing\ "I could have done a better job than that. Chris doesn't have the screaming RAGE to be a rock star introducer! He's just a pretty boy! It ain't fair, I tell ya..."

\He punches a hole through the Confession Cam's right wall, then knocks down the wall completely, storming out while grumbling, "Ain't fair at all."\

* * *

"Then let me introduce you to our first band, Nature's Wild Children! Our first member is Led Zeke'lin!"

Ezekiel came from the back to the left side of the stage, leaping and whooping with one of the plastic guitars slung around his shoulder. He still wore his toque, but that was was about the only thing the same about him.

He wasn't wearing anything on top, and his chest, arms, and back were covered in what looked like tattoos, depicting fierce animals, deadly plants, and one of Heather on his right shoulder. His jeans were faded, and he was wearing steel-rimmed boots.

When the prairie boy appealed to the crowd with two 'hang loose' signs, they roared in approval. He spotted Heather up front and waved at her, but she turned her nose up.

"_Uh-oh_," Ezekiel thought, "_she's probably mad that I kissed Izzy last challenge, eh. Better apologize to her a'boot that when I can._"

"And the second member of the band Nature's Wild Children, give it up for Bridgette of the Waves!"

Bridgette came out, waving to the audience. She was wearing a tank top that didn't show off any cleavage, but a good deal of her stomach. The surfer girl wore gold bracelets, a peace medallion, and tight blue pants.

With a wild cry, she blew a kiss out to the approving audience. When she saw Geoff, she waved enthusiastically to him, and he cheered over the entire crowd.

"That's Nature's Wild Children, ladies and gentlemen! Now it's time to show off Against the Odds! On the right side of the stage, we have... the Code-Miester!!"

Cody, from the back, came running onto the stage with all the gusto of a teenage boy who's having one of his greatest wishes come true. He leapt up and down, raising his guitar high in the air.

The Code-Miester was wearing a black and red vest that had dragon-decaled sleeves, and left his chest exposed. He had frayed black pants, black boots with red trimmings, and the tech-geek also had a head band with straps all the way down to his knees.

Cody traced a finger across his face where a fake scar, shaped like an animé warrior's facial scar, went from between his eyes down under his left eye. He lifted his guitar up again, and let out a roar (or as good a roar as Cody could manage).

"Wow, someone get a cage," Chris remarked. "And his partner-in-crime, our sweetest girl gone bad, it's Beth the Braceless!"

Beth strutted onstage, twirling a couple drumsticks. She grinned, flashing her pearly whites. The farm girl was wearing overalls that was decked out with badges and pins that featured the entire cast of Total Drama Comeback, from Chris to the Sasquatchinakwa.

She was also wearing a gleaming, long-sleeved green shirt, several glittering hair pins, and leather gloves. Beth had also had her platnium-dyed hair in pigtails now, tied up with golden hair bands.

Though her overall look was weird, the crowd applauded and cheered. When the farm girl saw Justin holding up the sign of her, she gasped and covered her heart with her hands. Cody worked hard to hide his disappointment.

"So, think Against the Odds will win?" Chris addressed the audience again. "Let's see what Pheer Our Leet Skillz says!

"First off for them is... Kaleidoscope!"

Izzy came running out from the back, shouting and cheering. Her hair was as frizzy and long as normal, but she had streaks of green, purple, blue, and yellow in it too; however, that wasn't the most eye-catching part of her.

Kaleidoscope was wearing a white-and-pink tank top that was bare minimum cloth requirements, exposing her stomach, cleavage, and most of her shoulders. She was also wearing a pink bra, which actually covered her breasts more than her top. She wore nylon pants that were as multicolored as a kaleidoscope, and she wore heeled boots.

The audience went wild. Owen swooned and fainted, landing on Tyler. As the audience roared, no one could hear the muffled "Get him off me, get him off!"

Izzy grinned at the audience's approval, and Chris walked over to her. "Um, may I ask why 'Kaleidoscope'?"

"I thought it sounded wild and pretty," Izzy explained. "E-Scope for short, if you want."

"Whatevs," Chris replied happily, then turned back to the audience. "Okay then! Our last camper, the one with a good deal of Pheer Our Leet Skillz's skills, it's The Awesome Ninja Harold!"

The lanky nerd strutted on stage, looking _completely_ different except for his glasses. He had a large spiked-mohawk, a black headband, and several ear piercings. He wore a dark green garb, black pants, and wooden sandals. Harold also had spiked gloves on, and a necklace that sported the face of a ninja. His nunchucks dangled around his hip.

The audience burst into wild cheering, louder than anyone else had received. Harold grinned, then noticed Leshawna laughing in the front row. When she saw his face fall, she blew him a kiss, and he immediately perked up.

"You look great, sugar," she called out.

"Those are the bands," Chris announced after the audience died down, "those are our rockers! Are you ready to rock?"

"YES," the audience roared.

"Are you ready to dance to the music?"

"YES!!!"

"Who's not ready to rock, make your peace now!"

"GET OWEN OFF OF ME!!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Stairway to Someplace!)**

**The Awesome Ninja Harold** - "I thought for one night, this would be awesome to dress up. The mohawk wasn't real though, I had to wear a fake on over a bald cap on my hair. It's really hard to stay balanced at first, and they look really silly when they wiggle. Hehe, wiggling mohawk."

**Kaleidoscope** - "For some reason, this stage name really appeals to me. But I'm not gonna keep it, that'd be ridiculous!" \She giggles and snorts.\

**Led Zeke'lin** - "Izzy and Bridgette painted these tattoos on me, eh. Really cool too, though it took some convincing to get them to do Heather."

**Beth the Braceless** - "I know I don't look like a rock star, but I like how I looked. And wow..." \She swoons and looks up with a sparkle in her eyes.\ "Justin made a poster... for me! He really does like me! I so have to meet up with him after this contest is over, maybe he can meet my parents!"

**The Code-Miester** - "Stay focused, Cody, stay focused! If you rock hard enough, Beth might pay more attention to you than Justin! Focus!!"

* * *

"Alright then, rock fans," Chris exclaimed. "Our theme tonight is parody! Get ready to hear some of your favorite songs be butchered by these wannabes, in upsetting spins on their experiences here and on Total Drama Island!"

"Hey now," Ezekiel started to say in protest.

"Our first song tonight is by Nature's Wild Children!"

The audience cheered, clapped, jumped up and down, and whooped. Ezekiel looked again at Heather, who was rolling her eyes, and then at Tyler, who looked sore and exhausted but still grinning at the prairie boy.

Bridgette saw Geoff leaping several feet in the air, and she couldn't help but smile. "Shall we, Zeke?" she said to her partner.

"Sure thing, Bridge!"

Bridgette took her place at the drums and Ezekiel stood in front of the microphone, guitar ready.

* * *

"Total Drama Island"

Parody of "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup

_HEY! Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh!_

_HEY! Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh!_

_HEY!_

_Eight weeks you would think is all_

_That you can keep your head up tall_

_The life-threatening jump_

_The lunch-losing lunch_

_So horrifying, so off the wall_

_--_

_So you explore your own cabin_

_Something small moves, and you scream, "Cockroach!"_

_This wasn't what I signed up for now,_

_I'm getting a lawyer! (So take me out, Coach.)_

_--_

_The whole darn world is now watching over me_

_With straight-up Courtney and crazy Izzy_

_Who'll get the money, who'll be lookin' funny?_

_Who's gonna hook up and end up living happily?_

_And I might be the one getting voted off_

_Don't think I'll win a hundred grand._

_Getting concussions, a big bruise, and being panned_

_on Total Drama Island!_

_--_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, HEY!_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, HEY!_

_--_

_You gotta see the competition!_

_Bridgette's a surfing, lovely woman._

_Heather and Gwen, like Iraq and Iran,_

_The awesome Harold and Geoff, the party man!_

_--_

_Beth's a swell girl, just has some bad luck,_

_And DJ's cool and built like a truck._

_Don't give people lip or start up your attitude_

'_Cause Leshawna's in charge, and not up for your mood!_

_--_

_Then's there Tyler, crashed when we came._

_Lindsay, can't remember my name._

_Trent, music man; Cody, the showoff_

_Mental note-to-self: don't tick Eva off!_

_--_

_The whole wide world is pay-per-viewin'_

_Tough punk Duncan, and hunky Justin_

_Who'll win the money, who'll be a dummy_

_Could be Noah, might be Owen!_

_And so Chris is grinning at us_

_Driving us 'round the bend._

_But ya know, I'd like to jump that cliff again..._

_on Total Drama Island!_

_--_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, HEY!_

_--_

_The whole wide world is watching closely_

_That happy Katie, and happy Sadie_

_Who'll get the money, who's lookin' chummy_

_Once the other twenty-one have all been kicked off_

_And I guess I really messed up_

_But there's no point in pounding sand_

'_Cuz when there is a sequel, I'll demand..._

_to be on Total Drama Island!_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, HEY!_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, HEY!_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, (For one hundred grand!)_

_Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh, Oh Oh Uh-Oh!_

* * *

The audience cheered, loud and proud of the two. Bridgette wiped the sweat from her forehead, and pumped her fists into the air.

"I could so get used to this, eh," Ezekiel shouted to the audience. He kept glancing at Heather, who looked like she was desperately trying to look happy.

Bridgette of the Waves and Led Zeke'lin high-fived, and Chris stood next to them, clapping.

"Thanks, you guys," Chris said. "I was hoping for one of their songs!"

"Next up is Pheer Our Leet Skillz! Let's see what they have to offer us!"

Izzy and Harold exchanged glances, grinning wickedly. Harold was at the keyboard in a heartbeat, and Izzy was at the microphone with her guitar.

* * *

"This is Wawanakwa!"

Parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

--

_Ezekiel, brown bear, Chef Hatchet, and Heather_

_Moving breakfast, Gwen & Trent dating, and redhead Izzy_

_Screaming Gophers, DJ runs, Beth's bad curse, Tyler's all thumbs._

_Then there's Katie, next to Sadie, and bear-wrestling Cody._

_--_

_Awake-a-Thon, Dodge Balls, Noah's book, sauce on walls_

_Cooking, Geoff and Bridgette, Lindsay's going to throw a fit._

_Duncan's chain saw, raccoons, Dock of Shame good-byes!_

_Owen's stomach, Justin's eyes, "pitch a tent like a guy"!_

_--_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_Trouble's always brewing_

_Chef's got bile stewing_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_With twenty-two in plight_

_From morning, noon, to night!_

_--_

_Chris Maclean, Leshawna, Sasquatchinakwa_

_Eva's rage, Harold's skills, one hundred thousand dollah's_

_Waterfalls, gold key, sumo wrestlers, goatee_

_Boat of Losers, Courtney CIT_

_--_

_Interns, paint stain, ten seconds of extreme pain_

_Cockroach shots, beaver dam, RCMP, stall cam_

_Oil slick, talent show, skunk spray, slow-mo_

_Dino jaws, big bear paws, killer with the chain saw_

_--_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_You think you seen madness?_

_Look at Chef in that dress!_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_Where a load of land mines_

_is better than dinner time!_

_--_

_Marshmallows, paintball guns, thousand foot jump, sticky buns_

_Chipmunk, cute Bunny, "Oh how hard could it be?"_

_Surf boards, 'lectric sparks, man-eating sharks!_

_Hide 'n seek, hose gun spray, censored in USA!_

_--_

_Fake bear suit, Gwen's bra, Killer Bass, loser's spa_

_Bicycles, boobies, watching horror movies!_

_Rope burn, Cody's strut, Owen's shaking his big butt_

_Izzy laughing like a nut, and Mr. Cocoanut!_

_--_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_Watch the next episode_

_to see who hits the road_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_Where cheating is legal_

_And sharks eat eagles!_

_--_

_Eva's rage, contest, Justin's gorgeous chest_

_Chickens, fake tan, trip to Boney Island._

_Courtney mad at Duncan's theft, Sadie's sad 'cuz Katie left_

_Hot sauce, bad Chef, Bridgette won't get off Geoff_

_--_

_First base, second base, Lindsay got a beat-up face._

_Zeke's first, Beth is cursed, isn't Heather just the worst?_

_--_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_The island's greenness_

_thick as Chris's meanness!_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_Wasn't it cute when_

_Trent was flirting with Gwen?_

_--_

_Hoop earrings, bad bee stings, sports aren't Noah's kind of thing_

_Washrooms, bad cook, blindfolds, killer's hook_

_heebie-jeebies for DJ, better begin to pray._

_Harold's ninja numchucks, "Um okay, so far this sucks."_

_--_

_Tyler's throwing, better hide! Leshawna won the log ride!_

_Real bad hair, censored swears, bugs, birds, underwear!_

_Sent to Playa da Losers, special ride on cabin cruisers._

_The game ends and Owen won, wasn't that just so awesome?_

_--_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_With our stomach's churning_

_At the thought of returning!_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_Never get any sleep at night,_

_and woke up by plane flight! (Ay-yi-ay-yi-ay-yi-iiiii...)_

_--_

_This is Wawanakwa!_

_We might have jumped the gun_

_when we thought this'd be fun!_

_This is Wawanakwa, yeah!_

* * *

The audience went wild! Izzy held up the hang loose sign and head banged in appreciation. Harold stood up and bowed, grazing the keyboard with his head spikes.

"Wow guys, that's a lot of stuff you mentioned," Chris declared, clapping with the audience. "Good times, good times!

"Alright, it's time for Against the Odds! And after those two performances, these two have some heavy expectations upon their shoulders!"

In almost one collective sweep, all eyes were on Beth and Cody. The farm girl swallowed and began to shake, but Cody put his hand on her shoulder and smiled.

"It's the name of our band, remember?" he said, grinning. She managed to smile, and nod at him. Cody was at the front with his guitar, and Beth was at the drums. A giant screen behind them turned on, and soon footage from Total Drama Island was being played.

* * *

"Another One Walks the Dock"

Parody of "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen.

--

_Chris grins as the campers come, his mind filled with evil plans_

_All over Canada they have come, unaware of the demands_

_Were we ready? No! Could you be for this?_

_This is really not gonna be a treat!_

_Right out the doorway people are sent once their team has been beat!_

_--_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Ezekiel is sent down the dock without a word.)_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Eva chucks her stick at Courtney before leaving.)_

_--_

_And another one gone_

_(Noah is pelted with marshmallows.)_

_And another one gone_

_(Justin walks with his head hanging low.)_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Katie is sent off with Sadie calling out.)_

_--_

_Hey, this doesn't seem fair but..._

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Tyler walks to the dock looking devastated.)_

_--_

_How can I concentrate when I want to make friends instead of foes?_

_You think me for a fool but I prefer those who won't step on my toes!_

'_Cuz she's cute, and he's real cool,_

_How can you resist _her_ charm?_

_I'd love to get her number even if I end up buying the farm (or not?)_

_--_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Izzy flees from the RCMP, cackling.)_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Cody, in a wheelchair, is accidentally pushed off the Dock.)_

_--_

_And another one gone_

_(Beth walks away, distraught.)_

_And another one gone_

_(Sadie runs away from her team sobbing.)_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Courtney is dragged away by Chris and Chef.)_

_--_

_And, you cannot come back too!_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Harold kisses Leshawna before being dragged by Chef.)_

_--_

_(Cody starts to rock, lifting his guitar as he plays. On the screen played are Eva being taken off on a straight jacket, Izzy vanishing, and Mr. Cocoanut being thrown down the dock; the cocoanut is then chopped in half by Chef Hatchet.)_

--

_Booyah!_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Trent looks around in horror as he realizes he's out.)_

_Another one walks the Dock! Doh!_

_(Bridgette tries to kiss Geoff, but he runs from the skunk smell.)_

_Another one walks the Dock! ... of Shame!_

_(Lindsay gets a tearful bear hug from Owen.)_

_Another one walks the Dock! Good-bye-yi-yi-yi!_

_(DJ is given a group hug before leaving on the boat.)_

_Bu-uuuut, not me!_

_--_

_There are plenty of ways you can win this show, but some aren't that honest_

_You can brawl 'em, you can call 'em, you enthrall 'em and let 'em fall so you'll be the best!_

_But I'm ready, yes I've got the skills_

_I'm the best that you can meet!_

_Gonna chop you into itty pieces, put you in Chef's mystery meat!_

_--_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Geoff gets his camera back from Gwen on the dock.)_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Leshawna, stunned, is shoved onto the Boat of Losers.)_

_--_

_And another one gone_

_(Duncan gets belched in the face by Owen.)_

_And another one gone_

_(Heather, bald, screams from the departing boat.)_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Gwen is knocked to the side by brownies-loving Owen.)_

_--_

_It's Playa des Losers for you,_

_Another one walks the Dock!_

_(Owen helps throw Chris Maclean off the Dock of Shame into the water.)_

_BOOYAH!_

* * *

The crowd cheered enthusiastically as Cody posed for them, holding his guitar as high as possible. Beth giggled and couldn't help but hug him.

"Well done, partner," she declared over the noise of the crowd.

"Told ya we could wow 'em! This is, like, the best day of my life!"

Chris clapped, and after the noise had died down, he pulled out his megaphone. "That concludes Round 1 of our challenge tonight! Two more rounds, and though I'm not saying exactly what the scores are, I'll tell you that Pheer Our Leet Skillz has the lead by a tad!"

Izzy and Harold high-fived, then butted heads again. They must have forgotten how much that hurt, because they immediately clutched their sore noggins. Bridgette patted Ezekiel's shoulder comfortingly, and quickly snapped her hand back in fear of ruining his fake tattoos.

"We can still do this," she said to him.

"You bet we can, eh!"

Cody and Beth exchanged determined glances. "We may not have the lead," said Cody, "but I know we aren't that far behind, the crowd loved us!"

"That's right, we got two more songs," Beth agreed.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Play Three Birds, damn it!)**

**Joel** - \tears forming in his eyes\ "I promised myself I wouldn't cry... oh, I can't help it!" \He begins blubbering, covering his face with his hands.\ "My instrument babies did the trick, they even made Cody sound like a good singer! Boo hoo hoo hooooooo, I'm so happy!"

**Chef Hatchet** - \sulking and crossing his arms\ "Hmmmmph. They're getting so excited. But how long can you keep an anxious crowd hungry for more when you're not even playing the real songs?

"And I'll tell you something, this isn't going to get any easier. Everyone knows about TDI, so the first song was easy. The next song has to be about their fellow campers, and the final song has to be about Total Drama Comeback.

"And I don't care if Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury, and Bob Marley, all back from the dead, were up on that stage, you'll never convince me to get in that crowd! I'm gonna sulk in my kitchen!"

\He kicks down the left wall and exits that way.\

**Chris Maclean** - \looking at the walls of the outhouse\ "Awesome start, huh guys? Wait... I don't remember using duct tape on these walls, what's going on here?

"Anyway, who do you think is going to win this contest:

"**Nature's Wild Children** (**Bridgette of the Waves** and **Led Zeke'lin**)...

"**Pheer Our Leet Skillz** (**The Awesome Ninja Harold** and **Kaleidoscope**)...

"or **Against the Odds** (**Beth the Braceless** and **The Code-Miester**)?

"Stick around, you'll find out soon enough! Keep on rocking!"

* * *

**Part 2, Rockin' Boogaloo, is heating up! Get your lighters ready!**

* * *

--

--

--

Hope you rock fans aren't disappointed that it's not a normal song fic, but I couldn't turn down the idea of a parody. I'll try to stay close to a rock theme, and pick songs many would know.

"High School Never Ends" was picked because it's probably the most used song for Total Drama Island music videos. "We Didn't Start the Fire" was picked because I wanted to mention a lot of stuff from TDI in one song. "Another Bites the Dust" was picked because I _refuse_ to do this without doing a Queen song. If you don't know the songs, be sure to check iTunes or You Tube.

**And please, don't give me any requests or suggestions for songs at this point, because I already have the upcoming songs planned out! Thanks anyway, but there's no way I could take all your requests and my own! And it's my fanfic, **\starts jumping and down\ **mine mine mine!**


	46. Day 17, Part 2: Parodist Bliss

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. All songs are the property of their respected artists and companies, and no profit is being made in the featuring of their songs; I cannot be held responsible if someone hears you singing them, and you get smacked for it.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Wow, I got a bunch of suggestions anyway. It's all cool, thank you for showing interest! \glee\

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 46 (Day 17, Part 2)** - Inna Wawa Nakwa, Baby

* * *

Chris nodded at the roaring crowd, grinning proudly. "I am glad you all approve of our concert so far!"

"Chris sure is milking the crowd," Beth said to Cody.

"He's gotta, he doesn't get any time in spotlight when we're playing," the tech-geek replied, straightening his headband.

Bridgette and Ezekiel were talking about several songs. "You didn't have to prepare so many, Zeke," she said, "even though it is impressive."

"You never knoo', eh. Comes from doing a lot of work at home school, I end up doing a lot of writing," the prairie boy said. He held up his hands, which were already red from the effort of their first song.

"Oh wow," the blond surfer gasped, looking at them. "They're redder than a baboon's butt!"

Ezekiel blinked, then guffawed. "That's funny."

"Not really."

"Soo'ry," he said, lowering his head. "Dad said to always laugh at a girl's jokes."

"You don't have to laugh if it wasn't that funny."

"I find monkey behinds humorous, eh."

Bridgette couldn't help but smile. " 'Monkey Behinds.' Should have named our band that!"

"Now _that's_ funny, eh!"

He turned and looked at the audience. "I heard that rock stars do a lot of weird stuff. Should I pick my noo's at them, eh?"

"Ewwww, no!"

Izzy and Harold were standing close, whispering strategies. "So," Harold said, "we continue with what we had planned?"

"It's been working for us so far, my mohawked friend," Izzy said, nodding a great many times. "You look a little like Duncan. Maybe you could channel his spirit into your body to get some more rocker vibes."

"But he's not dead."

Izzy blinked, then snapped her fingers. "Shoot. But oh well, he owes me money."

Chris looked between the three bands, then blew an air horn into his megaphone. "Alright, you three roof-burning rock bands," the handsome host continued. "We have hungry fans to satisfy!

"But first... any requests?"

"PLAY THREE BIRDS," Owen bellowed, bouncing up and down. "Three Birds, Three Birds, Three Birds!"

"Owen, stop it before you humiliate yourself," DJ shouted, grabbing his friend's shoulder.

"Him?" Courtney said, raising an eyebrow. "You're talking about the boy who stripped naked on international TV several times; he has no shame."

"Stairway to Heaven," Sadie shouted. She turned and asked Katie, "That's what we're supposed to shout, right?"

"Right!"

The two started chanting, "Stairway to Heaven," and Noah, with encouragement from Geoff ("I will tickle you nonstop on live, national television if you do not start getting into this, dude,"), began to chant with them.

As they were chanting, Bridgette's arms were up over her chest, and she took deep breaths to calm herself. Ezekiel noticed this, but before he could ask what was wrong, Chris shouted at the BFFFs.

"No Stairway to Heaven! Denied," he shouted, receiving "Awww's" and boos from the audience. "But I think Against the Odds, who are next, have something else from that band ready!"

"Yay," the audience and the BFFFs shouted.

"What?!" Bridgette shouted, horrified.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Keep on rockin' but you can't come in!)**

Bridgette - "I know I shouldn't hold it against them. They didn't know what I experienced from that one Led Zeppelin fanboy who tried to convince everyone about getting to second base! But whenever I hear one of their songs, I remember distinctly the chants of 'Show us your boobs' and 'Let's see second base'!"

Chef Hatchet - "I hate this! I should be out there rocking! It ain't right!" \He kicks down the back wall of the outhouse and leaves, grumbling.\

* * *

Cody stood in front of the microphone, holding his guitar up proudly. "What's up, Wawanakwa? Are you ready to rock and roll?"

The audience screamed wildly, affirming that they did indeed want to rock and roll. The tech-geek was so thrilled, he basked in the roar of the crowd for a few seconds.

"Remember," Chris interrupted with his megaphone yelling, "round 2 is about other people in the show! So let's see how much your fellow campers and ex-campers enjoy this!"

"No no no no," Bridgette whimpered. "Don't play-"

"Are you ready for some Led Zeppelin?!" Cody yelled.

The audience bellowed exuberantly, confirming that they did truthfully want Led Zeppelin. Beth giggled at Cody, finding his love for the crowd rather cute.

"Then, here we go," the tech-geek shouted. The screen behind his band lit up, and footage began to play.

* * *

"The Enemies of the Screaming Gophers"

Parody of "Rock and Roll" by Led Zeppelin.

--

_(First part played with clips of Chris Maclean.)_

_--_

_It's about due time for an upheaval,_

_It's been too long that we've suffered evil._

_We know Chris Maclean, loves to see us strain,_

_loves to yank our chain, and we're all under his thumb._

_It's about due time, about due time,_

_To get that grinnin', sinnin', spinnin', thinnin', has-been swine._

_("Yeah, and next is Chef!")_

_--_

_(Second part played with clips of Chef Hatchet.)_

_--_

_It's been a long time since I ate real food,_

_I'm sure Chef's put bugs in what he has stewed._

_It makes me hack, take another whack,_

_Yeah I'll talk smack, wish my taste buds were numb._

_It should be a crime, should be a crime,_

_To eat Chef's yucky, mucky, sucky, gucky, upchucky grime._

_("Next is one of our own...")_

_--_

_(After an instrumental break, in which Cody and Beth head-bang, the third part plays with clips of Heather.)_

_--_

_It's about time we're free of that witch,_

_Heather wails, making our eyes twitch._

_Saying we smell, hearing her yell,_

_Giving us hell, but then the votes all came rushing in._

_So it's rather fine, it's rather fine,_

_Free from that screechin', beechin', leechin', creepin', bleepin' whine._

_("Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!")_

_--_

_(Last part played with clips of the Screaming Gophers team.)_

_--_

_And it was real fine, that team of mine_

_They are the dreamin', beamin', gleamin', schemin', Screamin' Gophers!_

* * *

The crowd burst into wild, almost-deafening cheering. Beth and Cody whooped and cheered right back, waving to the audience.

Heather in the audience growled and narrowed her eyes. Chef behind the stage cracked his knuckles in fury. Chris on the stage cackled and clapped his hands.

"Most AWESOME use of a Led Zeppelin song," he shouted, after at long last the cheering died. "Shame the stairway was denied, but oh well."

Beth and Cody hugged in celebration. The farm girl saw Justin wink and give two thumbs-up, and she flushed; Cody was too busy appealing to the audience to notice.

"Next up are Nature's Wild Children," Chris announced, walking over to the left side. "Let's see what they've got ready!"

Ezekiel was at the drums, and Bridgette was at the microphone, but the surfer girl looked anything but ready. She had her arms crossed tightly over her breasts, her eyes shut tight, and her breathing was hard and fast.

"Bridgette?" Ezekiel called out to her, when she didn't do anything to start the song.

"Um, Bridgette of the Waves?" Chris said, tapping the surfer girl's shoulder.

The audience was silent, waiting for the next performance. Then someone in the audience shouted, "Show us your boobs!"

Her eyes shot open, her breath caught in her throat, and she only managed to let out a choked sob before turning and running off the stage.

"Bridgette!"

Ezekiel stood up and watched her run behind the curtains at the back of the stage. He tried to follow her, but Chris shouted, "Whoa whoa, Zeke! You leave now, your team is disqualified."

The prairie boy looked back and forth from the stage curtain to the audience. More than anything he wanted to follow Bridgette, but he couldn't let the challenge end there. He picked up one of the guitars and walked to the microphone.

Before starting, he leaned down while looking directly at Tyler. "Hey bud'day," he called out to his jock friend, "go find 'oot who yelled that and KILL him!"

"Will do," Tyler shouted, saluting and wading into the crowd in the audience.

With a heavy sigh, Ezekiel straightened up and looked at the audience. Taking another deep breath and trying to remove the angry scowl from his face, he searched through the iPod-like controller for his music selection.

"What's only good for one person?" he said to himself. "Joel programmed most songs to need a band and guitar, eh..."

He stopped when he came across a certain genre he liked, but he knew he wasn't exactly too fond with others. Ezekiel had made a parody of it with Bridgette, but both agreed it wasn't likely they'd use it...

"Alright then people," he said to the audience. "I've been left little choice here, eh, but that's just too bad.

"I hoo'p you like country, eh."

* * *

"My Fellow Campers"

Parody of "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw

--

_Never understood how they could do it._

_With gusto, they were always for it,_

_challenges that seemed foolish to say the least._

_They never let their team down, efforts that are renown_

_Taking flak from the man, but they wouldn't be ceased._

_Asked them why did it, why didn't they just up and quit?_

_But they couldn't, for their team they'd always try._

_("Man, ya gonna die.")_

_Watching them..._

_--_

_They went kart driving,_

_(Tyler races one of Joel's karts.)_

_They went ninja long blade fightin',_

_(Harold, with a headband, swinging a katana blade.)_

_He went zero-point-half nude seconds on a moose with attitude._

_(Geoff being bucked off the moose with his pants at his ankles.)_

_--_

_She lost her braces,_

_(Beth gives a gleaming grin.)_

_And they crossed bases,_

_(Duncan and Courtney embrace.)_

_And they sent their opponents a-flyin'._

_(Eva yanks Cody right off his feet in tug-o-war.)_

_And I love these guys, they're my fellow campers,_

_I just wish they weren't near dyin'._

_--_

_The ones that you wouldn't expect to, _

_would always stick close to you._

_The ones that'd catch you over a pool of jellyfish_

_And now it's time to enjoy this,_

_Though it's not exactly bliss._

_But hey, friends like these are for what I wish._

_Though they scared me with a hook,_

_And one doesn't know to cook, it's what they do_

_And I wouldn't switch them._

_Because..._

_--_

_They went prom dancin',_

_(Geoff and Gwen seen at the fake prom contest.)_

_They were cuff linked an' close to fightin'_

_(Leshawna and Duncan, cuffed, snarling at each other.)_

_They stuffed their face with food until they were about ready to puke._

_(Owen chugs down cockroach shot glasses.)_

_--_

_And they ran faster,_

_(Bridgette runs across the fire-shooting pathway.)_

_And they cursed harder,_

_(Lindsay lets Heather have it with a censored streak.)_

'_Cuz they gave it all and it's quite trying._

_(Gwen, Bridgette, and Beth during the torture challenge.)_

_And I'm proud to know my fellow campers,_

_I hope they don't die trying._

_--_

_I could feel my spirit life and I've gotta now agree_

_To give it all that I can give it,_

_because now I must commit,_

_and this will hurt a bit..._

_but it's too late to quit!_

_--_

_Dodge brawlin',_

_(Owen throws a ball at Harold, who dodges.)_

_And I did some major butt-haulin'_

_(DJ pushes all the Killer Bass's canoes.)_

_I had to talk to girls and I finally managed to get a clue!_

_(Geoff goofs up with Bridgette / Geoff and Bridgette making out.)_

_--_

_Almost met the reaper_

_(Owen leaps the 1000-foot cliff.)_

_But what was much sweeter_

_(Ezekiel gives Heather a kiss.)_

_Was when I could feel my heart a-flyin'._

_(All of the couples embrace.)_

_So try to be like me and my fellow campers_

_To try some death defyin'_

_--_

_Will you stop your sighin'_

_No make-up applyin'_

_So live like you were dyin'_

_Just please don't come out cryin'!_

* * *

To Ezekiel's surprise, the audience was cheering and clapping at the end. He stared a couple seconds, raised his fist in the air and shouted, "Thank you, I'll be right back, eh!"

The prairie boy went back stage. Bridgette was sitting against the wall, looking devastated. Her breath was coming out slow and hard, and she seemed to be in shock.

"Bridgette?" he said, trying to get her attention. He sat down next to her when she didn't reply, and put his hand on her shoulder. She didn't seem to recognize his presence for a few seconds, and that was only to look at him from the corner of her eye.

On the stage, Izzy and Harold were discussing what song to do next as Cody looked deeply ashamed.

"I didn't know it would upset her," he admitted to Beth. The tech-geek was staring at the stage floor, shaking his head and covering his eyes. "I thought she just didn't like Led Zeppelin."

"It wasn't your fault, Cody," Beth said to him.

"I still feel like a complete jerk."

Chris tapped on his megaphone. "Is Pheer Our Leet Skillz ready?"

Harold stood at the microphone with his guitar, slicking his mohawk spikes straight up. Izzy was at the drums, adjusting her bra straps. "We're good, Chris," Harold informed the host.

"Then let's hear it!"

* * *

"Island Inmates"

Parody of "All the Small Things" by Blink 182

--

_(Footage of brown bear and raccoon.)_

_Island inmates_

_Somewhat ingrates_

_They steal, last straw_

_Can't fight, they claw_

_--_

_(Footage of Katie and Sadie.)_

_Justin, they flip_

_Joined up at the hip_

_Giggling, quibble_

_indivisible._

_--_

_(Footage of Chris Maclean.)_

_Wakes us up soon_

_Still see the moon_

_Would ignore but_

_he has air horn._

_(Izzy starts blaring the air horn to "na na na...")_

_--_

_(Footage of Owen.)_

_Good mood_

_he yells._

_Big fart_

_I smells._

_--_

_(Footage of Izzy.)_

_She ran from the helicopter_

_I wonders what's the deal with her_

_--_

_(Footage of Harold.)_

_Say I'm ninja_

_That is nerd law_

_Weirder the scene_

_Favors my skills_

_(Harold shouts ninja yells, "wah cha wha cha cha hi -yah...")_

_--_

_(Footage of Bridgette.)_

_Shooting the curl_

_Hope she don't hurl_

_She pitch a tent_

_Just like a guy_

_--_

_(Footage of Ezekiel.)_

_Wants a good thrill_

_Eva wants to kill_

_Keep your toque on _

_Zed-wearing chill_

_--_

_(Footage of Beth.)_

_Dared to say no_

_Courage to show_

_Get braces off_

_Come sing along_

_--_

_(Footage of Cody.)_

_Has that sly grin._

_He's straw pole thin._

_You will get the girl_

_You will get the girl_

_Just can't say when._

* * *

The audience roared in approval, pumping their fists in the air. Harold bowed, his mohawk spikes grazing the floor of the stage. Izzy stood up on her stool, whooping.

"That's it for Round 2," Chris Maclean declared, clapping for Pheer Our Leet Skills. "We've got one more round, three more songs. Right now, the three teams are pretty close, but Nature's Wild Children is behind the most."

Ezekiel and Bridgette had been quiet with each other while sitting in the back. At the mention of their band, the surfer took a deep breath.

"I owe you an explanation," she said quietly.

Ezekiel didn't know how to reply, so he gave her a faintest of nods.

"Honestly, country?" Chris continued, rolling his eyes. "Well, round 3 has now begun! The bands must make a song about Total Drama Comeback! First up will be... Pheer Our Leet Skills! Again! Woohoo!"

Izzy was at the microphone already, bouncin up and down on her feet in excitement. Harold was at the drums with a microphone ready for him too.

"You two have got the fans rocking for you," Chris continued. "And we all know you two would be the biggest rock stars!

"Even Chef agrees!"

The host pointed at the crowd, where Chef was. He stood with the ex-campers, and he had a giant foam finger that said "POLS #1". The cook glared at the host.

"I told you not to single me out here in the crowd!"

"Aw c'mon, Chef! Show the band your full support!"

Chef Hatchet rolled his eyes, then ripped off his shirt: he had "POLS roxors my soxors" on his chest. Geoff and Justin high-fived him, cheering wildly.

Izzy squealed in joy. "Then this one goes out to our biggest fan, Chef Hatchet!"

* * *

"Comeback Victory"

Parody of "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister

--

_We aren't gonna make fuss_

_No, Chris ain't gonna break us_

'_Cause we're making our comeback, on this show!_

_--_

_We rocked the strikers game, yes_

_The guys all wore a dame's dress_

_We've had our strife, we've come out strong_

_--_

_We bust right out of our jail cell,_

_We've given each other hell_

_From Harold's wreck, to Bridgette's thong._

_--_

_So those these contests make stress_

_And, a lie is the cake, yes_

_But this will be our comeback, hear us roar!_

_--_

_Your defeat is impending_

_You're gonna need some mending_

_We will kick your shin, we will outlast you_

_--_

_The marshmallows will be ours_

_We'll win the dares and race karts._

_We'll be throwing, snowballs at you!_

_--_

_(Izzy and Harold together.)_

_Whoa-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh!_

_We're geeks! (yeah!) _

_Win spree! (yeah!) _

_We're freaks! (yeah!) _

_Victory! (yeah!)_

_--_

_Whoa-oh, and we're doing fan service!_

_And that bear makes us nervous!_

_But we are the ones who are gonna score!_

_--_

_On Wawanakwa Island!_

_Woah, we are rocking this band!_

_Oh, we'll be winning this one, we're hardcore!_

_--_

_(Izzy and Harold together.)_

_Whoa-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh!_

_Izzy - They're dead! (yeah!)_

_Harold - No josh! (yeah!)_

_Izzy - I'm red! (yeah!)_

_Harold - Oh GOSH! (yeah!)_

_--_

_We're not gonna lose this_

_Yeah, we might even bruise Chris!_

_And we could even knock him, to the floor!_

_--_

_We are gonna win this_

_(Izzy - "YEAH!")_

_Yes, we're serious business_

_This just might lead up to some, blood and gore!_

_(Izzy - "Give it up for E-Scope!")_

_--_

_We're the best in all of Muskoka_

_(Izzy - "And the ninja!")_

_Hey, the duck's got a bazooka!_

_(Izzy - "Hi, mom! Hi hi hi!")_

_I don't think I can make rhymes, anymore!_

* * *

The crowd went wild, and Izzy was leaping up and down, cheering and cackling.

"Yeah, that's what E-Scope's talking about," she shouted. "Thank you, thank you, we appreciate you helping us win with your cheers!"

"Next is Against All Odds," Chris said. "Can they get to the top in this final round, being in the middle of two performances?"

Cody and Beth were discussing something. "Are you ready for this, Beth?"

The farm girl nodded a great deal. "Oh yes, oh yes! I'm actually good at this speeding metal!"

"That's speed metal, and I gotta say, I am _so_ impressed!"

"Thanks Cody, you're so sweet!"

As Beth walked to the front of the stage, Cody sat at the drums, plopping down with a love struck sigh.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The nonmusical interlude of the show.)**

Cody - "How can you not like a girl who's sweet, thinks highly of you, and has a hidden talent for Guitar Savior's most difficult song? She and I could ace that on two-player! Could Justin do that? I don't think so!"

* * *

Backstage, Bridgette was done telling Ezekiel about the creep who had humiliated her at high school. The surfer girl sat there, her knees hunched up to her chest.

"Bridge, I'm so soo'ry," he said to her, rubbing her back in comfort.

"You couldn't have known. Neither could have Cody, but...," she let out a heavy sigh. "No, it's no one's fault for mine for not making my intentions clear."

Ezekiel didn't know what else to say. He felt like anything he said might offend her or make her more upset. He wanted to win this contest, but he didn't want Bridgette to suffer any more humiliation.

"Are...," he started, then stopped.

"What?"

"No, I... umm..."

He bit his lip, took a deep breath, and asked, "Do you want to finish this contest, or would you like to call it, eh?"

Bridgette looked around, trying to find an answer. "I should," she said, "it wouldn't be fair to you. But... I..."

On the stage, Beth grinned at the large audience. "Okay people," she shouted. "All you speeding metal fans-"

"Speed metal," Cody hissed from the drums.

"Speed metal, sorry," the farm girl corrected herself, "and all you Guitar Savior fans, Cody tells me that you know, love, and dread this song? Are you ready?"

"YES!"

"Are you su-uuuuuuuuuure?"

"YES!"

"I found him," a voice from the far back shouted, followed by sounds of a struggle and pummeling.

* * *

"The Power Ballad of TDC"

Parody of "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce

--

_(Beth starts up the song, and when it really picks up, she doesn't fail. The audience goes ballistic, and people are jumping up and down; also going up and down is the guy who heckled Bridgette, being thrown around by Tyler.)_

_(Beth finishes the musical start, and begins to sing while footage of Total Drama Comeback plays on the screen behind her.)_

_--_

_All on the Dock of Losers, where we last said our good-byes,_

_Chris says it's talent show again, oh did he even try?_

_It's popular kids verses nerds, in a prom that's gone awry._

_Disaster at the dance occurred while dancing with those guys!_

_--_

_Paddling hard, cycling on for the team, reaching Boney Island,_

_And dressed up as others is the theme, after the race on the sand._

_Cuffed up at the wrist and clenching fists, connected at the hand,_

_Through mental scars, and DDR, we stand..._

_--_

_So we got ninja swords, ninja fighting in the forest_

_Fighting and running towards, it's our ninja best._

_Underneath the snowfall, underneath the snowfest,_

_Putting our winter skills to the test..._

_--_

_So we dress up, it's time for a dance,_

_Heading off to a dangerous prom;_

_We can't complain if we have a crocodile the next day-_

_With the duck and his grenades, we carry on!_

_--_

_(Beth and Cody really go to town rocking, as more footage of TDC plays during the small interlude.)_

_--_

_So whatever we're eating, from chocolate to dead bugs,_

_It's either really bad or delicious, just please no gummi slugs!_

_Driving fast 'round the island's track, there's a burning rubber start; _

_With side-challenges that make us fear for life, we end up crashing our karts!_

_--_

_And we're rushing fast, concussions pass, in our striker game,_

_And just maybe, we'll get in Hall of Fame...!_

_--_

_The wrath of our ex-teammates, absolutely no restraint; _

_It became a combination, of puke, blood, and love._

_Mixing yaoi and yuri, unleashing inner fury,_

_It's Final Ten, so now we must take off the gloves!_

_--_

_So dig away, escape from the jail, _

_Or we'll be executed at dawn!_

_Chris yanks our chain as we try to appease him or we'll fail, _

_We aspire so we stay, we carry on!_

_--_

_(Beth and Cody go on a long interlude, rocking as hard as they can. When the lyrics start again, both of them are sweaty from the effort.)_

_--_

_Then we're tortured, but we really just got bored,_

_But a real killer would not be ignored._

_We play these songs, rocked on as the audience roared!_

_And maybe we'll make a record!_

_--_

_So now we play, we hope we're okay,_

_And we hope that we've probably won,_

_The Dock of Shame awaits us if we win this, probably,_

_It's the choir where we sing, we carry on!_

_--_

_(Beth rocks the last part as best she can, falling on her knees and leaning back, finishing up with what she thinks is the 'hang loose' sign but she's doing it wrong.)_

* * *

The crowd cheered and roared for a good deal of time, over exuberant from the rush of the song. Beth pumped her fists in the air as she got back up on her feet and shouted, "Thank you! Thank you, speeding metal fans!"

Cody high-fived her, and the two sat down on the stage, panting and nursing their sore hands.

"Well, I can see why someone would want to be a rock star now," Beth shouted over the roar of the audience; Cody could barely make her out, but he nodded all the same.

As Chris tried to get the audience to calm down, Bridgette and Ezekiel were standing up behind the stage. "Are you ready, Bridgette?" he said to her, looking worried as well; he even looked a little more worried than her.

The surfer girl nodded, then sighed. "I guess I might as well show off my cleavage," she muttered, her fingers coming to the top button of her shirt.

"No," the prairie boy shouted, grabbing her hands. "Bridgette, doo'nt you dare! You're just fine the way you are, eh!"

Bridgette blinked, staring back into Ezekiel's earnest eyes. "Um, Zeke?" she said. "You kind of have your hands on my boobs."

The prairie boy looked down at her chest, and saw that he did indeed have his palms on the top of her breasts. Retracting them as if he had burned them, he started chanting, "I'm soo'ry, I'm soo'ry, I'm soo'ry-"

"Come on then," Bridgette said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him onto the stage. She had a determined smirk on her face, while Ezekiel looked panicked.

When they were back onstage, the audience, who Chris had just managed to calm them down, burst into cheers again. Those that could see them on the close-up were wondering why Bridgette, who had run off the stage in fear, was smiling confidently, while Ezekiel, who had performed alone and went to help her, was blushing and frantic-looking.

The blond surfer stood at the microphone, waving at the crowd. Geoff was whooping like a madman, leaping up and down. As Bridgette blew him a kiss, Tyler suddenly walked next to him, dragging a mean-looking teenager behind him.

"I found the guy yelled that," the jock shouted, proud. "What shall we do with him, Bridge?"

The surfer giggled and shrugged. "Oh, I dunno. Purple nurple?"

Tyler grinned, and faced the jerk to Geoff. "You want to do the honors?"

"Heck yeah, dude!"

An agonized, yet quite humorous, scream lifted over the cheering of the crowd, and the mass of people soon calmed down. Bridgette turned back to Ezekiel, who was adjusting his toque nervously. "Thank you, Zeke. You ready?"

"Ayup yup."

* * *

"I Can Has Marshmallows"

Parody of "I Wish I Had an Angel" by Nightwish

--

_(Together.)_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_So I won't walk the Dock_

_I wish for immunity_

_tonight!_

_--_

_(Bridgette takes to center stage, trying to look as mysterious as possible.)_

_Keep tryin' to win this show_

_But how much humiliation is this worth?_

_We keep enduring, through pain and snow_

_Can you tell me why I try anymore?_

_--_

_That cook, his food sucks_

_That host, he sucks harder_

_--_

_(Ezekiel.)_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_For this second season_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_For immunity reasons!_

_--_

_(Together.)_

_Now I'm stuck in a rut_

_Wishing to kick Maclean's butt_

_I wish I had marshmallows tonight!_

_--_

_(Bridgette takes over, going down to her knees for more dramatic effect.)_

_Watching me in reruns too._

_Not ending up like the interns do._

_--_

_(She gets back up, flipping her ponytail back.)_

_Last season was hard..._

_This season is harder!_

_--_

_(Ezekiel.)_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_A fluffy one in my palm!_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_And I'd eat them, nom nom nom!_

_--_

_(Together.)_

_I'm becoming a kook_

_Eating food that makes me puke_

_I wish I had marshmallows tonight!_

_--_

_(Ezekiel.)_

_Had my fill, wants to chill_

_Wants to tell Chris to fly a kite_

_It the pits, so make amends_

_Oh I've had my fill, just cut to commercial!_

_--_

_(Bridgette.)_

_Chef will raise heck_

_Here to Quebec_

_If he doesn't get his paycheck._

_--_

_(Ezekiel.)_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_I got a one-track mind_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_Eating them passes the time._

_--_

_(Bridgette.)_

_I'll survive this, no sweat!_

_(Ezekiel.)_

_Can I has marshmallow yet?_

_(Together.)_

_I wish I had marshmallows tonight!_

_--_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_I wish I had marshmallows_

_Get off your butt of jello!_

_Gimme a damn marshmallow!_

* * *

The audience burst into loud cheering and shouting. Bridgette sighed in relief, and bowed. Ezekiel walked up to her and patted her shoulder.

"You did so well," he said to her.

"Thank you, you did too! And you know what makes it worth it?"

She pointed down into the audience. Geoff was shouting louder and jumping higher than anyone.

Ezekiel chuckled, then noticed Heather. The queen bee was trying to cover her mouth with her hand, a joyous smile on face she didn't want people to see. He waved at her, and she waved back, revealing the smile; she turned away and flushed.

"It sure did make it worth it, eh," Ezekiel added to himself.

"Those were some _awesome_ parodies," Chris declared. "You six are so incredible, your hatred of me is wicked!"

"I'll never understand why he enjoys that," Harold said to Izzy, who nodded.

The handsome host held up a little electronic device. "I have here the results of this wild, rocking, head banging contest! So who do you think all won?

"Nature's Wild Children, Pheer Our Leet Skillz, or Against All Odds?"

The audience started chanting for their favorite bands and campers. Geoff was leaping and shouting so much, he accidentally knocked Tyler over; luckily, he landed on the creep that had beat up, so it was a painless landing (for the jock, that was).

"The winner of the Terrific Wawanakwa Outstanding Battle Of Our Bands Show Based On Invented New Golden Oldies ("That's dirty," shouted some of the campers) is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"AGAINST THE ODDS!"

Beth and Cody leapt in the air, shouting in joy. The tech-geek even picked up the farm girl and spin her around in joy.

"Thank you, Guitar Savior fans," he shouted to the audience, holding up two 'hang loose' signs. "The Wawanakwa audiences are the best audiences in the world! WOOOOO!"

Beth also held up her hands to do two wrong versions of 'hang loose,' but Cody corrected her. She was giggling so much, she grabbed Cody in joy and hugged him tight.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Justin clapping and smiling at her. She waved back, and he winked. At this point, Beth felt she couldn't get any more excited and happy in her life.

Harold slumped on the keyboard and sighed. "We did our best, Izzy," he said to her. The redhead had sat down on the stage floor, hanging her head in shame. "We really did. You were awesome out there."

"Thanks, you were most righteous too," she said, managing a smile for him. "Maybe if my boobs had been bigger for the show... or maybe yours."

"No, I'm quite happy with my bust's size," he said, chuckling halfheartedly.

Bridgette was shaking her head, leaning on her guitar. "This is all my fault," she said to herself. "If only I hadn't overreacted to that creep-"

"You knoo' I'm not gonna blame you, eh," Ezekiel said, patting her shoulder. "You were awesome. Cody and Beth just did exceptionally well, especially with that last song, eh."

Bridgette nodded, then smiled at her friend. "Think they'll finally hook up now?"

"Oh, that's something to write a song oo'ver,"

Chris walked over and stood next to Beth and Cody. "Against the Odds have won, meaning they get immunity tonight! Be sure to tune in to your local station, our website, or any place where it's been illegally uploaded! Thank you, and good night!"

"Wait Chris," Cody said, grabbing the host's wrist. "There's one song I'd like for all the bands to do!"

"Huh?" was Chris's reply. "Whazzat?"

The six campers on the stage were all smiling and exchanging glances. "We agreed to do this no matter who wins," Bridgette said, preparing for one last song.

"You guys ready?" Harold called out.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Beth cheered.

"Then one... two... three... go!"

* * *

_(Harold)_

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine_

_(Izzy)_

_You guys are on my mind_

_(Bridgette)_

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

_(Cody)_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see_

_(Everyone)_

_I wanna be a rock star!_

_(Beth)_

_I wanna live close to the sun_

_(Ezekiel)_

_So pack your bags 'cuz I've already won_

_(Harold and Izzy)_

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

_(Beth and Cody)_

_I'll get there one day_

_(Ezekiel and Bridgette)_

_I wanna be a rock star!_

_(Everyone)_

_Nah nah nah-nah-nah nah-nah-nah-nah nah nah nah naaaaah!_

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be a rock star!_

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be a rock star!_

_(Whistling to the end, and a guitar scratch to finish.)_

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I think they got the lyrics wrong.)**

**The Code-Miester** - "So wild... so amazing... man, I'd hate to vote for anyone. I'm just so full of love and wonder and rocking! Why do rock stars take drugs, this is most charged I've ever been in my life, and I've zapped myself a few times with my robotics!

**Bridgette of the Waves** - "I knew it would come down to voting for people I like. I really wish it didn't, but I have to make a choice. I don't want to say 'nothing personal' because that's what Heather says... I just feel really guilty."

**Kaleidoscope** - \She is giggling happily.\ "Well, I know who I'm gonna vote for! Not easy, but hey, better someone else than me, right? Hehe, it's not like I'm gonna vote for myself. I did that once last season by accident, 'cause that animal hunting challenge distracted me."

**Led Zeke'lin** - \shaking his head and sighing\ "I feel like the biggest ass right now, eh. I groped my friend!" \He smacks his forehead.\

**The Awesome Ninja Harold** - "Dang. It's like the harshest slap in the face back to reality, that I gotta vote for someone, or I might get voted off. Gosh."

**Beth the Braceless** - "I really didn't want to vote for someone this time around. But since I had to... well, I have to make a choice between Bridgette and Harold, though they're both so nice." \She gets out a coin and flips it. Looking at the results, she sighs.\

* * *

At the marshmallow ceremony, Chris Maclean looked over at the six campers sitting in front of the bonfire.

"You guys didn't have to keep on your rocker outfits for this," the handsome host told them.

"But we wanted to do," Harold said, holding up his guitar.

"Darn right," Izzy cheered, giving her former band mate a hug. "Good luck to you, my fellow rocker!"

"You too! Good luck to all of you guys," Harold declared.

"Right back at ya," Bridgette replied. Ezekiel clicked his tongue and winked at them.

Chris shrugged, smiling. "Well, you rockers know the role. You see, there are five marshmallows, but six campers. The rocker who doesn't get one loses their music career, has to walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and you can't come back...

"EVER AND EVER, BABY!!"

He snatched two marshmallows and tossed them to Cody and Beth. "You two rocked really hard tonight. Wild, baby. Wild."

The two caught the fluffy treats, 'clinked' them, and then ate up.

Bridgette was nervously combing her ponytail with her hands. Harold began to wiggle the strummer on his guitar, swallowing. Izzy was gnawing on the drumsticks she had brought. Ezekiel hung his head, scratching off one of his fake tattoos.

"The next marshmallow goes to...," Chris paused, looking at the teenagers dressed like rock stars, "... Izzy!"

The redhead spat out the drumsticks, and cheered. She snatched the marshmallow in midair when Chris tossed it to her.

"Next marshmallow, the one you all wish you had... goes to Ezekiel!"

The prairie boy let out a relieved sigh as he caught his, but still looked down. He swallowed as he looked at the last two campers.

"Okay then Bridgette of the Waves and The Awesome Ninja Harold," Chris said, drumming his fingers on the plate, "only one left!"

Bridgette and Harold swallowed, and looked at each other. She mouthed, "Good luck," and he pointed her and mouthed, "You too." Soon, the tension made them both clutch their sides and shake.

"The last rocker," Chris said, narrowing his eyes, "to receive one tonight is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Bridgette."

The surfer gasped, and caught the marshmallow. After letting out a very relieved sigh, she looked sympathetically at Harold.

At first, the lanky nerd looked distraught, then, to her surprise, he smiled. "Most fun I ever had," he said, beaming. "So freaking awesome!"

The others looked sad, but he was grinning. "This was a wild contest! Booyah!"

He hugged or high-fived everyone before gathering his stuff. As he walked towards the Dock of Shame, the lanky gun turned towards his friends. "Oh, there's something I want to say."

"Harold, don't make this long now," the host requested.

"I won't," he replied. "Guys, don't feel too guilty now. Someone had to go, and I'm anxious to go to Playa des Losers; however, this time, I won't be hunted by an angry CIT!"

He lifted up the guitar, shouted, "Rock on, dudes," and smashed it down on the ground.

To be more accurate, it smashed something on the ground.

Chris Maclean wailed in pain and hobbled away, holding his sore foot. Harold blinked and muttered, "Oops. Sorry, Chris!"

"Just go, ow," the host shouted, whimpering.

At the end of the dock, Bridgette found herself hugging Harold one more time. "You take care of yourself, Harold," she said.

"You were an awesome band mate," Izzy said. She and Harold exchanged a much lighter head butt.

"Farewell, Total Drama Comeback," he said as he boarded the Boat of Losers. "I rocked, I endured, and I broke Chris's foot! That's more than a man could ask for!"

"Do I have to wear plate armor for these ceremonies now?" Chris wailed as Chef Hatchet looked at the host's sore foot.

"Quit whining, maggot."

The Boat of Losers headed off, Harold waving the whole way. When his friends were out of sight, the lanky nerd sat down and sighed. To cheer himself up, he strummed on the guitar and hummed the theme song.

"I wanna be famous... nah nah nah-nah..."

* * *

Back at the dock, the five campers started to walk back to the cabins. "Doesn't seem fair," Bridgette said, hanging her head.

"Yeah, I wish I didn't feel so guilty," Cody muttered. He looked over at Bridgette and said, "Oh and Bridge? I'm real sorry about that Led Zeppelin thing. I just thought you didn't like them, is all."

"Not your fault, but thank you."

Beth sighed, looking up at the sky. "Three more of us have to go. How come last season, no one felt guilty?"

"Oh, I know why," Izzy said as she jumped on Ezekiel's back, freeloading a piggyback ride. "Duncan has less conscience, Heather had none, Owen and Leshawna wanted to win, and Gwen only liked Leshawna.

"And she was upset when we all accidentally voted her off."

"Yeah, I still cannot believe we did that," Beth said, smacking her forehead.

"Actually, only Izzy did that of the five of us here, eh," Ezekiel pointed out, jerking his thumb at his passenger. "We can be guilt-free oo'ver that."

"Fink," Izzy replied, tickling at the prairie boy's neck.

"You think he's going to do it again?" Cody mused.

"Who do what?" asked Beth.

"Chris Maclean have all the people voted off pick who gets eliminated next, now that we're down to five people."

The five looked at each other, stopping their walk short when this notion moved in.

"Well then, I'm dead," Izzy said matter-of-factly.

"What are you talking a'boot?" Ezekiel replied. "I'd be the dead one."

"No way, I more dead than you two," Bridgette said.

"I'm dead'er'est," Beth added, giggling.

"You should sympathize for me, because I'm the dead one," Cody said.

The five laughed, and continued on their way to the cabins.

"Wait," Izzy asked a few seconds later, "which one of us is dead? Do I need to get a cross or a wooden stake?"

* * *

**Ezekiel** - Harold.

**Bridgette** - Izzy.

**Beth** - Harold.

**Izzy** - Bridgette.

**Cody** - Harold.

**Harold** - Ezekiel.

--

Harold - 3.

Bridgette - 1.

Izzy - 1.

Ezekiel - 1.

--

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah, Heather, Gwen, Harold.

**Remaining Campers** - Beth, Cody, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Izzy. (5 left.)

* * *

--

--

--

And one of my favorites is gone. \takes off hat\ Good-bye, Harold. Take comfort in the fact that your fans are going to skin me alive.

Whew, I'm not writing any more parodies for some time. That ate up a full day for me, writing these six songs! Just trying to find six songs that would be good enough was a pain! Want to know why I used the songs?

**"Rock and Roll" by Led Zeppelin** - I knew I had to do a Led Zeppelin song, despite the fact I don't listen to them. Keeping with the spirit, I denied Stairway, and I actually like this song more. \gets ready to be killed several times over\

**"Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw** - I know country is not exactly the hottest genre, but I liked this song, it fit TDI and the challenge well. Comes from looking through You Tube for song ideas, and finding songs that have been chipmunk'ed.

**"All the Small Things" by Blink 182** - Winter-Rae is a Blink 182 fan, so this one goes out to her. Also, there weren't many lyrics, which made my life so much easier. Phew!

**"We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister** - I love this song so much. It's like the underdog theme song; I had to use it.

**"Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce** - The most difficult and fastest song in Guitar Savior (well, you know), and it's just awesome overall. Luckily, I don't have to write the musical interlude parts, so this wouldn't be exceptionally long and you just get the goofy lyrics.

**"I Wish I Had an Angel" by Nightwish** - Awesome song, though I don't really understand the lyrics. Aw well, it's cool on its own. I figured that adding a little LOLcat humor wouldn't harm anyone. Tee hee.

Harold will be removed from my poll when the next chapter goes up. You don't have to vote for him while he's there, but hey, if you want to do it as a protest, that's fine. Again, before anyone comes at me, I want to say I love Harold too; he is quite awesome, and I'm rooting for him in TDA.

Coming up, we'll be visiting all the campers who've been voted off at Playa des Losers, how they feel about being voted off, the remaining five campers, and what dastardly surprise Chris Maclean has in store!


	47. Day 18, Part 1: Grumpy Old Losers

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If the story starts to lose power, plug it in and recharge its batteries.

* * *

**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Sorry, all you Harold fans. Glad you rock fans liked the chapters! And it's cool there are some country fans! With this next chapter, Harold will be removed from the poll.

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_narrated by Chris Maclean_)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback!

Last time, we had a rocking good time with our Guitar Savior and 'N Roll Band games! In front of a wild audience, our six campers performed parodies and rocked the house that night! In the end, it was Harold who had to walk the Dock of Shame. And after his sorrowful departure, it became apparent to me that I have to wear armor during this bonfire marshmallows!

But that's not needed tonight, because we're not staying here! We're going to leave our five remaining contestants here on the island for the time being where they can enjoy themselves!

(_Cut to Bridgette running out of the water at the beach, screaming as a shark catches her surfboard and chomps it to pieces._)

(_Cut to Ezekiel throwing up violently in the cafeteria. Chef, standing nearby and grinning at the prairie boy's misfortune, looks at a clipboard and scratches off one of the items on the list._)

(_Cut to Cody, holding Groucho the Duck, running away from a furious moose. Groucho the Duck is shooting at the moose with a handgun, but the moose keeps deflecting the bullets with its antlers._)

It's time for us to visit our losers at Playa de Losers!

(_Cut to Chris Maclean getting on a jet ski, leaving from the Dock of Shame. Izzy and Beth wave good-bye, then start making faces, and blowing raspberries; Izzy makes a few hand gestures that have to be censored out._)

While we only have five campers left, it's time for us to visit the losers, the defeated, those who really blew their chance, and those that were booted off by the others after schemes, back stabbings, and dirty deeds! What do they have to say about their loss? What do they have to say about the final five campers? And how will they determine who is next to join them at Playa de Losers? You'll find out by staying tuned in to Total... Drama... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 47 (Day 18, Part 1)** - Laments of the Losers

* * *

Chris arrives at the dock at the losers' resort. DJ is sitting on a beach chair at the end of the port with Bunny on his lap.

"Yo Chris, nice of you to drop by," he said as he exchanged a high-five with the host.

"Thanks, DJ. Nice to be here instead of that crappy campsite! Why don't you come join me? It's time to interview the losers here at the resort, and see what they say about their being booted off."

The gentle giant shrugged, and said, "Oh, I'm not too let down. I mean, sure, we all wish we won, but I didn't do too bad."

Chris chuckled. "You mean you actually don't hold a grudge against those who voted off?"

"Nope."

"DJ buddy, you've got a lot to learn."

They walked into the pool area, where all the other losers were relaxing. Justin was sitting at the bar in the middle of the pool, chatting with Sadie, Eva, and Owen; the three were in a combination of listening and staring at his gorgeous features.

Katie was sitting on Noah's lap, both reading the same book. More than once, Noah tried to turn the page, but his girlfriend kept grabbing his hand and telling him that he wasn't ready yet.

Harold sat in Leshawna's lap, holding her drink for her. Every now and then, he'd offer it to her, and she'd take a swig from the straw. Gwen on Trent's lap, sitting next to the interracial couple, were relaxing, her curled up on him.

Geoff sat alone in the hot tub, looking relaxed. Duncan was sampling the buffet. Courtney and Heather were sitting in beach chairs, soaking up the sun. Tyler was showing off his yo-yo skills to Lindsay, constantly hurting his fingers and banging his forehead once.

"Welcome to Playa de Losers, folks," Chris shouted to the cameraman following him.

"Oh great," Duncan muttered, "the Host of the Black Lagoon has arrived."

"Leaves the stench of hair products wherever he goes," Leshawna added.

Chris's eye twitched. "Well um, we are here to interview the campers first off on how they feel about their termination from TDI! Let's get ready for some bellyaching!"

He headed over to Noah and Katie. The thinner BFFF waved happily at the camera, and the know-it-all rolled his eyes. "Spare us," he grumbled.

"Already with the bitterness," Chris cackled. "I love this show."

"Remind me why I signed up for it?" Noah said, refusing to look at the host.

"Now don't say that," Katie chastised him, wrapping her arms around him. "If you didn't join TDI, you wouldn't be back here on TDC! And if you weren't on TDC," she gasped, "ohmiGod, you wouldn't have me!"

Noah smiled. "Ah, touché, my ravenhaired beauty. Touché."

He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, and she giggled. "Personally," she said, "I'm not that upset about being voted off. I mean, I, like, asked people to vote me off! Now I have Noah, and I have Sadie...

"Hi, Sadie," she called out to her BFFF, waving gingerly. Sadie waved back just as eagerly.

"Hi, Katie!"

"They do that every now and then," Noah explained to Chris. "Just to make sure the other knows that she is still there."

"Well, Noah, how do you feel about being voted off after your electric shock?" the host asked him.

"Thanks for reminding me. Whatever, Chris, I got my electric de-charging treatments, I'm good."

"No resentment that you missed out on ten thousand dollars?"

"Chris, do you want me to throw this book at you?"

"Ooo, you'll throw the book at me, how intimidating."

"It's a hardback."

"Well, moving on," Chris said, walking forward. He stood in-between Gwen and Trent, Leshawna and Harold, and gestured to both couples. "It looks like we have some people who are happy to be reunited."

The four smiled as if to affirm this. "But tell me," the host continued, "how did it feel when you were voted off, dragged away from your loved ones?"

"Oh, you mean how Courtney and Heather conspired to hurt Harold by voting me off?" Leshawna asked, eerily calm.

"That's what I mean. You mad?"

"You damn right I am!"

She stood, bolt upright, sending Harold flying into the pool. "I would have aced this contest, or at least gone further, if I wasn't singled out by those two harpies!"

Courtney grabbed a magazine and hid her face behind it.

"You seem irked," Chris said, smirking evilly. "So tell me, how does being voted off fourth feel?"

Leshawna grabbed the host and tossed him (screaming and flailing) into the pool. After helping Harold out of the pool, she dusted off her hands, adjusted her bathing suit and sat back down.

"I wouldn't have minded that much," she said to Trent and Gwen, "if it had been because I was responsible for tripping or somethin' like that. But it was 'cause she was being spiteful, ya know?"

Courtney huddled up behind the magazine.

"I know how that is," Gwen replied, nodding. "Trent was voted off because of that same, petty revenge."

Trent shrugged. "You know, I don't mind getting voted off that much. I mean, I get to spend my time here," he put his hand on the goth girl's shoulder, "with you, Gwen."

She grinned at him. "Thank you, handsome."

"How do you feel about your voting off, Gwen?" Harold asked curiously, sitting next to Leshawna.

"Meh. I hated being there. And that was such a crazy day, with those pathetic tortures."

"Shame you didn't kick that killer's butt," Eva called out from the pool's bar. "Then you could make a profession out of it."

Harold nodded enthusiastically. "You'd be like a goth Punisher, Gwen. That'd be interesting."

Gwen quirked an eyebrow. "Um, okay."

"I actually don't mind being voted off," Harold admitted, drumming his fingers on Leshawna's glass. "I mean, after that wild rock concert, I am content."

Chris sputtered as he paddled to the pool bar. Pulling himself up on a seat, he grinned at the patrons there. "So, how do you guys feel about the conditions in which you got the boot to the Dock of Shame?"

Sadie shrugged. Justin waved his dismissively. Eva rolled her eyes.

Owen cheered. "I got to be an intern," he roared. "It was _awesome_! I got to help with the props, I got some of my ideas into the show, I got to hang out with my friends!"

"Maybe I should have been voted off first," Justin said, stroking his chin in thought. "Though I would have loved to win, it would have been better. Owen kept telling us about the great food he got to eat."

"They actually ordered out and everything," Owen gushed.

"I don't think that's the reason why you wanted to stay on the island longer," Sadie said, giggling.

Eva raised a curious eyebrow as Justin looked puzzled. "There's someone special Justin's taking a shine too," the larger BFFF chirped.

The male model waved his hands frantically to shush Sadie, while Eva looked confused. "What are you getting on about?" the fitness buff asked.

"Haven't you been listening to Justin?"

"... Listen?"

Sadie sighed, rolling his eyes. "Justin really likes Beth! He's been gushing about her for some time."

"Yeah, man," Owen said as Eva's eyes widened. "It's pretty cute, he's saying positive stuff about her, and calling her 'cute' and-"

"Hey hey hey, that's later," Chris interrupted. "Talk about yourselves, the losers! The failures, those voted off and up the creek without a pa-"

Eva shoved Chris, knocking him into the water again. "Personally," Eva said, growling, "I think this time sucked too. I had to wear a dress, I had to dance with an unconscious dork, and was voted off the moment the game a free-for-all!"

"Oh come on, you had a lot more fun than that," Owen said.

"What makes you say that, Mr. Butterball?"

"How about how you got to pummel people with snowballs?"

"Or that violent strikers game?" Sadie added.

"Or the sword fighting?" Harold added.

"Or the fact that you outlasted more of the Killer Bass this time around?" Geoff called out.

Eva drummed her fingers against the counter, then grinned. "That strikers game was pretty sweet, I gotta admit."

"Well of course you liked it," Noah remarked. "You got to seriously injure people without any repercussions."

"And you, Noah," Gwen said, "had to do some sports."

"Yes, I'll have to wear a paper bag over my face when I go back to school so they don't see the awful shame I carry upon me."

Justin chuckled. "Personally, I am okay with when and why I was voted off. I'm not the best katana blade fighter, and I was being too quiet. No one trusts a guy who never speaks."

Owen belched just then. Eva winced and added, "If only some people would learn the opposite, and keep their stupid mouths closed."

Sadie was rocking on her seat, looking fondly at the male model. "I'm glad Justin's talking now. This way, he can tell Beth how he feels when he sees her again-"

Justin, desperate to quiet Sadie, waved his hands at her and accidentally knocked her off her seat into the water. The larger BFFF surfaced, and giggled. "It's so cute how you're in denial, Justin."

The male model blushed, and everyone at the plaza (except Noah) cooed and swooned over it.

"Yes yes, he's so cute, he's got a crush," the bookworm angrily grumbled. "Move it on, will you Chris?"

The host, sputtering as he pulled himself out of the pool, smoothed out his hair. "Yes, I think I will."

He walked over by the hot tub where Geoff was. "So Geoff, how did it feel when you were voted off by a former teammate over something that wasn't even about you?"

Courtney swallowed from behind the magazine, which she was holding so close to her face that she couldn't possibly read it.

"No worries, dude," Geoff replied, a blissful smile on his face.

"Oh."

Chris tapped his chin in thought. "Even though you don't have any chance of winning ten thousand dollars now?"

"It's all cool, bra."

"What about leaving your girlfriend?"

Geoff looked like he had been struck across the face from that one. "Oh... Bridgette. I still remember how sad she looked when I had to leave..."

The party animal held his hands up, his eyes getting moist. "I had to leave... and leave her on that island alone!"

"Um, Geoff?" Chris interrupted. "We're not supposed to talk about the remaining campers yet-"

But the party animal began to howl, covering his face and crying miserably. Chris looked away, uncomfortable with the teen's weeping.

"He does this whenever we mention Bridgette," Gwen said. "It's getting kind of annoying too."

"All you have to do is say her name and he begins to wail," Tyler said. "It's like some kind of weird word-activation crying, bra."

Walking away slowly from the sobbing Geoff, Chris turned to the jock and Lindsay. "So Tyler, how do you feel about your being voted off?"

The jock sighed and hung his head. "Man, quit reminding me of that day. It was one of the worst days of my life! Losing the sport game and getting voted off on the same day, that was so damn brutal."

Lindsay, with finely-tuned girlfriend senses, gave her boyfriend a hug. "Awww, Taylor, err, I mean Tyler! You did your best, and the audience gave you one final cheer before you went."

"That's true," he said, managing a smile.

"Neither one of us really needs ten thousand dollars either," she continued. "I mean, sure, it'd be a nice amount for my next trip to the mall, but we don't need it."

"You would spend ten thousand dollars in one trip to the mall?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If there were enough sales, Tesh."

"It's Chris," the host said before continuing to the next two. "So, Heather, Courtney... how do you feel?"

They both ignored him. Heather seemed quite uninterested in talking, and Courtney was scrunched up behind her magazine.

"Don't talk to them about the show unless you plan on pulling teeth," Duncan said, crossing his arms and chuckling. "Neither one of those babes feels like spilling their guts."

"Do you feel like spilling guts, Duncan?"

"I'll spill all day," the punk said, cracking his knuckles. "I can see why the others voted me off, 'cause they were bitter about the whole conspiracy thing. I think it's rather stupid though, because it wasn't personal."

"Dude," Harold called out from the side of the pool, "when you cast your vote, it's personal."

"Hey shut up, man."

Leshawna's eye twitched. "I hate it when you tell my man what to do after all you did, you skinny, punk band reject white boy!"

She got up and ran after Duncan, who yelped and ran away. Some of the campers rolled their eyes, while others watched excitedly.

"Ooo, think she'll catch him again?" Katie asked her boyfriend.

"If he remembers how painful it was last time," the know-it-all remarked as the chase scene rushed by them, "I think the memory will keep him moving."

Chris laughed as he watched the chase, then turned around to the punk's girlfriend. "C'mon Courtney, open up."

The CIT shook her head, barely visible behind the magazine. Heather, seated next to her, let out an exasperated sigh.

"Will you leave her alone?" the queen bee snapped.

"Wow," the handsome host quipped, looking over at the ravenhaired teen. "You, defending someone? Are you the real Heather?"

"Yes, and I'm just saying that because I'm sick of your prying questions," Heather snapped, lowering her sunglasses. "You want my opinion?"

"Is it short and censored enough for our viewing audience?"

"Your stupid challenges were lame as ever, they were just about causing us pain, and I'm pretty sure I could sue you over that whole deal of falling in a hole."

"Nope, you can't," Chris said cheerfully. "Contracts, remember?"

Heather seethed, then leaned back. "I hated this show so much, I'm glad it's over. Now I can relax here."

"Least you left with a full head of hair this time," Gwen called out, earning a lot of laughs from the others. Heather turned red and shook with anger, then the goth girl added, "And a boyfriend!"

"Ezekiel is not my boyfriend," the queen bee retorted.

"Gosh," said Harold, "you're in more denial than Courtney was."

Heather rolled her eyes. "I'll be glad to get away from you dorks. Two seasons with you all is just too much."

Chris grinned, leaning forward. "But what about Ezekiel, miss Heather?"

"Oh Chip," Lindsay called out to him, "we're not talking about the final five yet."

"OOOOOOOO, BURN," came the rousing chorus of all the other teens.

"Burned by Lindsay," Heather said, grinning at Chris. "How does that feel?"

The host rubbed his temple in shame and sighed. "You kids today. All meanness."

He turned around to Courtney, and said, "C'mon Courtney, you're the last one. Let the rage out of your cage."

"Look, I'm not proud of myself over this season, okay?" the CIT shouted, throwing the magazine away (accidentally hitting Sadie in the pool with it). "I don't want to talk about it! I did some bad things, and after those things were resolved, they voted me off over what I did, and that was that!"

Gwen scoffed, and the CIT glared over at her. "What, Gwen? You have something to say?"

"Just that you make it sound like all is well, but it's not," the goth girl replied. "This season would have been much more bearable if you had just talked to Harold at the beginning."

Courtney scoffed, crossing her arms and looking away. "Harold's over that whole ordeal, why aren't you?"

"Because I still don't think you fully got what you deserved over almost killing him."

Courtney and Gwen glared daggers at each other, each wishing the other to burst into flames. Trent patted his girlfriend's shoulder to comfort her, and she relaxed a tad. Duncan would have done the same, but Leshawna was still chasing him.

"You two need to chill," DJ said, holding Bunny close to him. "I mean, c'mon, if we're looking into who deserves what and who should get what, we'll be at each other's throats."

"Some already are," Eva said, pointing at Leshawna and Duncan. The plus-sized sister had caught up with the punk, and was shaking him by his shirt collar.

"But Lewanda isn't at Doug's throat," Lindsay said.

"Well she can't grab it, since he has that spiked collar," Tyler pointed out to her.

"Ohhhhhhh!"

Chris chuckled as he watched this fight continue. Someone tapped his shoulder, and he turned to see Joel holding a tray of drinks.

"Orange soda, Chris?" the inventor asked.

"Thank you, Joel," the host said, taking a glass and sipping at it. "You know buddy, we're all excited to have you in the next season," he added as he ruffled Joel's hair. Chris winced when his hand came back sooty and dusty.

"Sorry about that, I was finishing the orange juice machine, and I haven't had time to shower off the explosions' results."

"I don't even want to know how an orange juice machine can explode," the host said. "But speaking of the next season, how do you all feel about that?"

"Kill me now," Noah requested.

"Kill me first," Gwen added.

"I could do without it," Courtney grumbled.

"It's gonna be awesome," Owen cheered.

"Perfect chance," Leshawna said, holding Duncan over her head, "for some pay back!" She threw the punk into the pool.

"I really don't recall that being in our contracts," DJ muttered.

"How is it you can hold minors to contracts anyway?" Heather snapped.

"I'm actually pretty excited," Tyler admitted.

"I'm gonna win the next one," Duncan said after resurfacing.

"Who else is going to be there besides the twenty-two of us and Jewel?" Lindsay asked.

"Well, we don't have many entries right now," Chris said, (" 'Jewel'?" Joel repeated, looking puzzled). "Seems most teens like to watch others suffer than suffer."

"How terribly selfish of them," Justin replied cynically.

Noah glared at him from afar. "I was gonna say that."

"But that's enough about the failures of this season and the emotions on next season," Chris said, facing the camera. "Coming up next after the commercial break, we'll have the losers' feelings on the final five!"

* * *

**(Later...)**

"And we're back! Let's check back with the losers!"

Said seventeen losers were staring at Chris.

"We... didn't go anywhere, dude," Tyler said.

"All that happened ever since you said we were leaving for commercial" Courtney declared, "was you waited a couple second, and then said you were back!"

"I am, like," Lindsay whined, "so confused."

"Me too," Owen said. "When's the commercial start?"

"Don't you people know anything about filming?" Chris said, quirking an eyebrow.

"I do," Harold declared. "I was in film club, and I-"

"Not important, Harold," the host interrupted. "Right now, we need to talk about the five remaining campers: Izzy, Cody, Ezekiel, Beth, and Bridgette!"

"Boohoohoohoooooo," Geoff wailed. "Oh Bridgette! Boo hoo hoo!"

The others rolled their eyes. "Might as well talk about her first, get it out of the way," Courtney remarked.

"Bridgette's an awesome gal," Gwen said, smiling as she recalled her surfer friend. "Even if a little accident prone."

"A little?" Duncan said as he pulled himself out of the pool. "The girl's a puke factory. She puked during the eating contest, the kart race, both contests involving dares, and after the torture contest! I wouldn't be surprised if she was bulimic."

"That's not nice, Duncan," Sadie called out, and she wasn't the only girl glaring at the punk.

"Yeah," Katie agreed. "Bridgette is one of the most laid-back girls I know. She's sweet and funny, and she's an awesome surfer."

"And she gives people concussions like random gifts and drives like a maniac," Duncan replied, smirking.

"She's tougher than I thought she was," Eva said. "She stood up to me; I have the utmost respect for that."

Heather scoffed angrily. Courtney glared at her, and the queen bee said, "What? You all can gush about how pretty and nice she is, but she's just... plain."

" 'Plain'?" Harold balked.

"Yeah, plain. There's like a million girls like Bridgette, she's nothing special," the queen bee explained herself. "Animal-loving, polite, nice, tree-hugger. What's so great about her?"

"You're just jealous," Lindsay said, leaning over Heather, "because Ezekiel likes her, and he hangs out with her all the time."

Heather flushed, and looked away from the blond beauty, crossing in arms in a huff. "That has nothing to do with it. I mean, what has Bridgette done to win this contest overall?"

"She won the second contest by messing up Ezekiel and insulting Cody," Harold said.

"She was in the winning ninja team, and was the first team in for the animal walk," Courtney said.

"She was also part of the winning strikers and kart teams," Trent said, "and she aced that torture challenge."

"But she ran off the stage during the rock concert," Heather snapped.

"Belinda came back on before her team would be disqualified," Lindsay said.

"She also threatened me to stay away from Ezekiel."

"She did?" Leshawna said, wide-eyed. Then she grinned and added, "I like her so much more now."

"Oh Belinda," Geoff sobbed, covering his eyes. "I mean, Bridgette! She's so wonderful! She's responsible, a great friend, she helps people out... I miss her so much! Boo hoo hoo!!"

"I'm sure she misses you too, Geoff," Owen called out to him.

Eva rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you two exchange saliva so often, it's become your favorite drink.

Playa de Losers was full of loud cries of "Ewwww," "That's so gross, Eva," and "Haha, that's funny!"

Lindsay gagged over the bad joke, then smiled. "Well, Bridgette is really swell, but Beth is so much cooler. If she wins this, I'm taking her to see... I dunno, maybe France!"

"Wouldn't she take you since she won?" Courtney asked.

"Naw, I couldn't ask her to do that, spend her prize money. She's so sweet, she deserves to win," the blond gushed, popping one of her legs. "Beth is, like, the nicest, most generous person I know. She was so helpful during the handcuff contest, and she won the rock contest with that extra-long song!"

"I'll admit, she is doing a better job in this contest than I thought she would," Noah said. "Winning the jail break contest and leaving me a crispy critter against the fence."

"Good times," Eva said, chuckling. "She's too emotional for my taste, but she's a better competitor than I originally gave her credit for."

"She is something else," said Justin, smiling. "I've been watching her ever since I was voted off, and I find her more and more charming."

"Sure she's good-looking enough for someone like you?" Heather shot at the male model. He promptly glared at her.

"Looks have nothing to do with it," he retorted. "But if you're going to haughty about her physical appearance, I'll have you know I find her to be _quite_ attractive."

Almost everyone let out coos of, "Awwwww," and he blushed again.

"Justin's in love," Owen chanted. "Justin's in love."

"Pretty boy's got a hankering for the farm girl," Trent added.

"Guys, come on," he replied, blushing slightly.

"But do you really know Beth?" Courtney asked, raising a dubious eyebrow. "Have you even talked to her?"

Justin looked crestfallen, drumming his fingers on his beautiful knees. "That is something I have to work on," he admitted, "because I haven't had much chance to talk to her."

"You'd better work on that soon," Leshawna said, "because Cody's got a hankering for Beth too."

"He does?" Katie asked, alarmed. "Dang, I wanted to pair him up with Sadie!"

Sadie giggled, waving her hand. "Aww, it's okay. We'll have to see! But I think Cody is really something."

Noah groaned, getting glares from both BFFFs. "Well, I would probably be okay with him," the know-it-all admitted, "if people didn't keep bothering me about that... one time I refuse to comment on."

"You mean when you gave him a smooching?" DJ said, grinning not-so-innocently.

"Quit bugging me about that," the bookworm declared. "I'm not that way! Look!" He took Katie in his arms and kissed her deeply. She was surprised at first, then she swooned and melted into the kiss.

"Now that Noah has confirmed his sexual orientation," Courtney said, rolling her eyes, "shall we talk about Cody again?"

"What, do you think he has a chance?" Heather sneered.

"Not as good as Bridgette, but yes, he does," the CIT replied. "You should like him, he found you when you and Ezekiel were stuck down that hole. And he's a better competitor than I thought, and he takes personal responsibility."

"He beat me in that trek through Boney Island," Eva said, smiling a little. "I hate him and respect him at the same time."

"He's been a good leader, a good teammate," Trent listed, "and he picked some great songs for the rock contest."

"Not to mention he's been through a lot," Gwen said, looking upset.

"Oh, you mean how you smacked him and yelled at him on TV over something he didn't do?" Heather asked, grinning not-so-nicely.

"Jerk," Gwen shot back, narrowing her eyes.

"He got over it."

"Well, it wouldn't have happened if you didn't tell Duncan to spread that lie," Courtney snapped at the queen bee.

"Shame about that," the punk remarked. "Cody's actually a really cool geek. He does well in challenges that I wouldn't think him to do well in. Never thought I'd respect a geek, but I do now."

"He's got skills as good as mine," Harold said, nodding. "I'd love for him to teach me some things about electronics next time we meet."

Chris raised an eyebrow. "That's a really nerdy thing to say, Harold."

"You know, speaking of skills," Owen said, "what about my girl?"

"You mean psycho hose-beast?" Heather said.

"The crazy redhead who howls at the moon?" Courtney remarked.

"Didn't Rizzo fail the ninja challenge, get drunk during the eating contest, and looked like a living wreck after the prom challenge?" Lindsay asked.

"And she beat the crap out of a serial killer, brought a bear to camp on a leash, and shot Ezekiel with an arrow," Tyler said.

"She also flashed her bra during the kart race, dressed like an amazon wearing fake skins of animals during the snowball fight, and attacked Harold during the jail challenge because she thought he was the jellybean smuggler?" Gwen pointed out.

"That's my girl!" Owen shouted, pumping his fists into the air. "She's the best!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "She's insane, Owen. But I am impressed she managed to last this long."

"Yeah, she's always so close to being voted off, but she survives," Sadie said.

"Oh, I know, right?" Katie said, nodding many times. "She's a much nicer person than I thought she would be! She's sweet, she cares about other people though she doesn't like to show that she does; she helped me during a lot of challenges! We're great friends!"

"She scares me," DJ admitted.

"She's all right, I guess," Harold said, shrugging. "But I just wonder what she'd do with ten thousand dollars."

"Probably buy a missile or a machine gun," Tyler said, shrugging.

Geoff chuckled. "Izzy's a wild party girl. I think it's really cool she made it that far."

Owen nodded, grinning. "And I think she could win the whole thing! That's my Izzy! I miss her so much, I could... I could..."

He burst into tears. Grabbing handfuls of chocolate on the bar's counter, and started stuffing his face. "Oh, when I get upset, I eat! Boo hoo hoo!"

"Owen, knock it off," Trent said. "You're acting like Geoff when someone mentions Bridge..."

"Boo hoo hoo!" Geoff replied.

"... Ette," the musician finished, slapping his forehead.

Tyler shook his head, adjusting his headband. "I will admit that Izzy is pretty cool, but there's someone who's even cooler."

"Who's that?" Lindsay asked, then her face lit up. "Oh! Is it that guy with the funny hat who Heather likes?"

"Hey," Heather shouted, blushing. "I don't-"

"Oh, quit denying it," Courtney said, a wicked grin spreading across her face. "None of us here are gullible enough to believe that."

"But I don't think Esteban likes her," Lindsay said. "I mean, hasn't he been kissing Bridgette and Izzy?"

"BOO HOO HOO," Geoff and Owen cried.

"Oh, _now_ you get their names right," Gwen grumbled, glaring at the blond bombshell.

"He's such a player," Leshawna said, chuckling. "He's kissed Heather, Izzy, Bridgette, even Harold."

"Oh, Leshawna," her boyfriend whined. "I thought we agreed not to bring that up."

"I actually never agreed," the plus-sized sister said, grinning.

"I really want to know," Courtney mused, "how the sexist, nose-picking redneck turned into...," she threw her hands up, and gave Duncan an apologetic look as she concluded with, "exceptional young man."

"Now _you_ like him?" Heather shouted.

"He did get me to confess what had been bothering me about Harold," the CIT said. "If he hadn't done that, well, I cannot imagine how bad things would be."

"Well, he still picks his nose in the confession cam because he doesn't think we'd notice," Trent said, smirking. "But I think he's forgetting that people watch what we say in there."

"Man, Zeke's the best," Tyler gushed, clapping his hands. "I mean, he reformed when his parents took a lot of flak for what he said first season, and now he's kicking so much butt that he's wearing his shoes out!"

"That's a weird analogy," Sadie mused, "but... I kind of like it!"

"I still don't get why he's dating Heather," Harold admitted, shrugging. "I mean, she always puts him down and she stole his Zed-necklace."

"And left him buried alive in a mudslide," DJ added, "and kicked him the groin a couple times."

"Maybe the twerp just has bad taste in women," Eva said, shrugging her shoulders.

Heather was red in the face. "You people are such lame-o's," she retorted. "You don't even know Ezekiel... I mean, me! You don't..."

She stopped when she noticed all eyes were on her. Pulling her shades back over her eyes, she sighed bitterly and remarked, "Look, okay, I admit I _kind of_ like him, but I am not going to go in why. Like I trust you weirdoes over my feelings."

"You have feelings?" Noah asked dryly. Katie giggled and hugged him as if to thank him.

"Yeah yeah, whatever, Noah," she shot back. "I don't know if he can win this or not, but I hope he can, eh."

Snickers and giggles spread across the teens, and Heather bared her teeth. "What?!"

"You said 'eh'," Justin pointed out. "You're talking like him now!"

Heather slapped her hands over her mouth, turning a brighter red than anyone had ever seen her turn.

"Just so long as it's not you winning, Heather," Gwen said, leaning back against Trent. "I mean, we have five fine picks. Beth's a sweetheart, Bridgette's awesome, Cody's generous and earnest, Ezekiel's reformed, and Izzy is... not Heather."

"If I had a vote in this," Justin said, "I'd vote for Beth to win."

"Beth the Braceless, you mean?" Harold asked, grinning at the male model. "She does look a lot better with those braces off, and as someone who's had them once before, I can tell you she's a lot happier with them off."

"I think I'd vote for Cody," Duncan admitted. "He's a cool guy."

Chris cleared his throat. "Um, before you all start to talk about whom you want to win, I think you should all know you have a hand in who goes next, in more than one way."

The teens looked surprised, suspicious, even alarmed.

"Oh mah God," Lindsay squealed. "Do we get to vote off the next person like we did last time?"

"In a way, yes," the host replied.

"So do we say their name if we want to vote them off?" the blond asked, staring up in thought. "Like say, if I want to vote off Bridgette, do I say Bridgette's name-"

Geoff was out of the hot tub in a flash, his hand over Lindsay's mouth. "Stop saying her name," he shouted. "You'll get Bridgette kicked off!"

He slapped his other hand over his mouth, then looked horrified at Chris. The host raised an eyebrow.

"Hehe, priceless," Duncan chuckled. "Love to see you explain to Bridgette how you got her voted off because of your love for her."

"Duncan, stop it," Courtney hollered.

"What, princess?"

"I want Bridgette to win, so stop-"

The CIT slapped both hands over her mouth, and Geoff almost knocked her over in his effort to stop her from talking.

"Figures the one time Lindsay gets someone's name right," Noah remarked, "is when it would be the wrong time to."

"Stop voting my girlfriend off," Geoff wailed as Courtney pushed him away.

"Say good-bye to surfer chick," Eva remarked, rolling her eyes. "Alas Bridgette, we hardly knew ye."

As Geoff blubbered in agony, Chris started to laugh. "You funny teenagers," he cackled. "You think that I'd try that again?"

"You mean, it's not going to go down like that this time?" Leshawna asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Tricks never work second time around."

"Oh I don't know, it was about to," Noah stated matter-of-factly.

Chris Maclean, smug as ever, smiled at the campers who had been voted off. "Don't think I'm so tricky like last time. This time you have a say in it more consciously, but you're going to have to put up with a little abuse this time around before you vote."

"What?" was the reply from most people.

Chris would have replied, but he was hugged by a very relieved Geoff. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you," the party animal chanted. "You're a wonderful man! A wonderful, beautiful, kind man!"

"Yes yes, thank you, Geoff," the host said as he pried the teenager off him, though he was smiling in appreciation.

"Oh man," Gwen said, chuckling. "Geoff's going to look back at that and feel so embarrassed."

"So, what do you mean by what you said, Chris?" Duncan asked, raising his unibrow in interest.

"As we speak, and as the sky lowers to bless us with a chilling night sky," Chris said, raising his finger, "Chef Hatchet is preparing Izzy, Cody, Beth, Bridgette, and Ezekiel, and bringing them here on the Boat of Losers!"

Lindsay gasped. "You mean... they all just lost?"

"No, beautiful," Chris said, flicking her nose playfully. "It means that the five of them are coming over here for a competition...

"And you all are going to be helping them try to win immunity, so they will be safe from the wrath of your votes!"

The sound of a tug boat's horn blared from the ocean, and Chris snapped his fingers. "That should be them now. Chef will lead them up here."

"They don't need directions," Courtney said. "They all know the way from the dock to the pool."

"Not if Chef did as he was told."

The campers looked towards the entrance to the pool, and gasped when they saw the five winners being led in by Chef Hatchet. Beth, Izzy, Ezekiel, Bridgette, and Cody were all blindfolded with their hands tied behind their backs.

And Izzy wasn't enjoying it one bit.

"You evil bastards," she was shrieking. "I refuse to be your toy! I've seen your handiwork on the internet, and I say, you won't bound me and gag me and turn me into a play thing! NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!"

"Izzy, please calm down," Beth whimpered, "you're making me nervous!"

"We should be! Bondage freaks have taken us, and plan sick, twisted things! But Izzy never knew a rope that could hold her! I'll swallow the ball gag! I've done it once; it was a dare at a party, and it was really cool, all on video you could see it go down my throat as this large bulge..."

In the middle of her story, Chef Hatchet was busy untying the other four campers and releasing their blindfolds. When they realized where they were, they looked around in awe, then waved at their former campers. Bridgette saw Geoff and raced towards him.

"Babe!"

"Sweetheart!"

They embraced, but Bridgette put too much force into her hug, knocking him over and sending them tumbling into the pool.

As Beth whimpered and held onto Cody, saying how scared she had been to be bound and blinded, Justin approached them and patted the farm girl on the back.

"You feeling better, Beth?" he asked, smiling handsomely at her.

"Y-yes," she stammered, smiling back.

Cody frowned at Justin. "It wasn't that pleasant, you know," he said. "Chef grabbed us and tied the blindfolds on, then he started to tie our wrists behind our back. We were certain he was going mad."

"Cody was such a hero," Beth said, smiling appreciatively at Cody. "He threw himself at Chef when he came at me."

Justin raised an eyebrow at Cody. "You did?"

"Y-Yes, although," the tech-geek scratched the back of his head, "I really... didn't stand up too long against him."

"Well, Chef's built like a tank, but that makes you all the more admirable," Justin said, smiling proudly at the smaller teenager. "You're a good man, Cody."

"Um, thanks," Cody said, smiling nervously. Justin seemed sincere enough, but Cody felt embarrassed nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel was trying to talk to Izzy, but she couldn't hear him over her own yelling and Chef's demands for her to shut up.

"I'll kill every last one of you, you hear me?" Izzy roared. "I'll rip your heads off! No, better yet, I'll tie you up and I'll coat you in red ants! Or poison ivy! Or coat you with honey and drop a beehive on you! Or maybe I'll just do all three!"

"Just shut up, you psycho redhead," Chef said, untying the bonds on her hands.

This was a giant mistake on his part, as she still had her blindfold on. Whipping around, she decked the large man and knocked him to the ground. With an unbridled roar, she leapt on him and started to pummel the ever-loving crap out of him.

"Izzy, no, no!"

Ezekiel ran behind Izzy and tried to pull her off. She elbowed his ribs and continued to beat Chef. When the prairie boy recovered, he pulled the blindfold off of her, shouting, "It's Chef, it's Chef, it's CHEF!"

"Chef Hatchet?" Izzy said, blinking hard at the dazed and beaten man. She blinked a few times, as Chef moaned in pain.

Then she snarled. "I always knew you were a sick freak! Die, bondage fan, DIE!!"

She resumed her violent punching, and Ezekiel had to wrap his arms around her waist and yank her off. Kicking and screaming and squirming, the redhead was quiet a handful and Ezekiel was barely able to contain her.

"Izzy, stop it! He's not a bondage freak, he's Chef," Ezekiel yelled, "He's Chef, our lousy cook but not a freak, eh! Chef, Izzy, Chef! CHEF!"

Izzy stopped struggling very suddenly, and Ezekiel thought this meant that she understood. The redhead looked around at him with a very sly smile on her face and whispered, "Zeke, I'm really flattered you like them, but we're both seeing other people."

At first Ezekiel was confused, then he realized where his hands were: Izzy's fervent struggling and wiggling led her down in his grasp, her breasts now being cupped by the prairie boy.

Becoming extremely red in the face, Ezekiel leapt away, letting go too fast for Izzy to react; the redhead fell down on her bottom, a silly grin on her face.

Leshawna burst out laughing and thumped Ezekiel's back. "You are one helluva player, white boy," she declared, patting him.

"Oh, is he?"

Heather approached, snarling at Ezekiel. "You like Izzy's boobs then, Ezekiel?"

"Th-th-that was an accident, eh," he shouted, waving his hands in desperation.

"Was it?" the queen bee said, getting right up in his face. "Was it also an accident when you _kissed_ her a couple challenges back?!"

Ezekiel swallowed and was about to reply when Leshawna cut in. "Listen up Heather, you don't have any right to tell him off when you keep insisting you aren't interested in him!"

"What say have you in this, you big-butted sister of the ghetto?"

"Oh no no no! You did _not_ just offend my booty! I outta-"

"Girls, girls," Ezekiel shouted, putting his hands between the two. "Stop this, you two can't fight."

"And why not?" they both growled.

"Because Heather's mad at me, and I owe her an explanation."

"You don't owe this skinny white girl nothin', kid," Leshawna hollered.

Meanwhile, Izzy was getting a bear hug from Owen. "Owen missed Izzy," he shouted, kissing her cheek. "Izzy miss Owen?"

"Izzy miss Owen," she confirmed, nodding and grinning as Owen continued to smooch her cheek. "Izzy miss Owen very much! But you know what Izzy miss too?"

"What's that?"

"Real food!" Izzy wriggled out of Owen's grasp, and dove towards the buffet and began gorging herself. The large teen watched in shock for a few seconds, then bolted over too and started stuffing his face alongside her.

"Aww, young love," Chris said, clapping. He looked down at Chef, and winced. "Ooo, she did a number on you, dude. You gonna be all right?"

"Mommy," was the pathetic, whimpering reply.

"Hmmm. Joel, can you drag Mr. Hatchet into the medical section of the hotel?" the host asked.

"Sure thing, Mr. Maclean," the young inventor said as he grabbed the collar of Chef's shirt, and began to drag him away. The large cook bawled in pain, sucking his thumb and whimpering muffled words like "Mommy," "oh da pain," and "I never got my pony."

"Well then, boys and girls," Chris Maclean shouted, throwing his hands up in the air, "it's time for the next challenge of Total Drama Comeback! And all of you are going to be involved!"

The announcement was heard by a handful of the ex-campers, and none of the remaining five campers. Bridgette was in a heavy make-out session with Geoff in the pool; Ezekiel was in an argument with Leshawna and Heather (though he was not spitting mad like them); Cody, Beth and Justin were engaged in a conversation in which the two guys were desperately trying to get Beth's attention; and Izzy was gorging herself at the buffet with Owen.

Chris sighed, slumping his shoulders. "Guys? Campers? C'mon!"

Courtney patted the host's shoulder. "Welcome to the world of teenage drama, Chris."

DJ covered Bunny's eyes, and Tyler shook his head. "Dude," the jock said to the host, "you might want to cut to commercial."

"Yeah, but we'll have to leave our viewers with some dramatic, suspenseful questions," the host said. He opened his mouth, but he became engrossed in the argument between Leshawna and Heather, and walked over to get a closer stance.

Tyler blinked, then looked over at the cameraman. "Um, dude? Should we?"

"You'd better, Tyler man, I'm running low on film," the cameraman said.

"**Oh okay. Um..****. what is Chris Maclean's challenge that involves the ex-campers?**"

"**And**," Eva cut in, "**is there going to be an twist to the voting after this challenge?**"

"**And**," Harold declared, jumping in front of them, "**who will be the next camper to join us here at Playa de Losers: Cody, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Beth, or Izzy?**"

"**You know what I'm more interested in?**" Katie said, Noah by her side. "**Who is going to win Beth's heart: Cody or Justin?**"

"I bet on Anti-Me," Noah said, then slapped his forehead. "God, I cannot believe I am."

"Naw, it'll be Cody," Trent cut in.

"This is great, guys," the cameraman cheered. "I just hope we don't run out of film soo-"

* * *

**Part 2 approaching, with all 22 campers' involvement!**

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I hope you all enjoyed this large dose of all the campers!

And... \shameless self promotion here\... I've written another one-shot, an Ezzy pairing! Read it if that's your kind of thing!


	48. Day 18, Part 2: The Five Gods of PdL

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. If the story starts to lose power, plug it in and recharge its batteries.

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**Replies to Questions and Comments:**

**To Everybody** - Be sure to vote in my profile's poll, preferably after you're done with this chapter.

And before I get any notices, I going to come out and say that Justin in this story is _NOT_ like he is in TDA. Sorry, but there's going to be a difference between my Justin and the one you'll see in the show. (Of course, you can easily see that in Ezekiel, Katie, Noah, and Heather too.)

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And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

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**Chapter 48 (Day 18, Part 2)** - The Gods Must Be Teenagers

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Chris was standing in front of the camera as it was turned back. The host sighed, as if he had received a fix after a very long withdrawal.

"Finally," he grumbled. "Boy, it took forever to find some more film for the camera. Let's hope we don't run out mid-challenge."

"If there's gonna be a challenge," Eva said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Whacha mean by that, Eva?"

The fitness buff jerked a thumb behind her. Izzy and Owen were still gorging themselves, Ezekiel was unsuccessfully trying to referee a fight between Heather and Leshawna, Justin and Cody were both talking to Beth, and Bridgette was wrapped around Geoff in heavy make-out time.

"Wow. They sure missed each other," the host said, grinning. "This makes having a reunion between seasons so much more of a better idea."

"Oh joy," Courtney remarked. "You'll probably turn it into another contest."

"What's the matter, babe?" Duncan cracked, wrapping his arm around the CIT and pulling her close. "Don't you want to see as much of me as you can?"

"I really see more of you than I care to," she replied, and then he started to give her a playful noogie. "Ow! Okay, okay, I like seeing you! Ow! Alright, I love seeing you!"

"Thank you princess!"

Courtney turned the tables on him, wrapping her arm around his head and give him a noogie back. "What's my name, Duncan?"

"Ow! Courtney! Ow ow ow!"

"Okay, settle down, love birds," Chris said, clapping his hands. "Could I get the five non-losers to form a line in front of me?"

Ezekiel, Beth, Cody, Bridgette and Izzy lined up as asked, a couple of them looking distracted. Most of all distracted was Bridgette, straddling Geoff around the waist and still making out with him.

"This challenge is going to be something that I've always wanted to do," Chris admitted, his grin widening. "You all are going to participate in the challenge which I like to call, Loser-Worshipping the Winner Gods!"

Cody raised an eyebrow. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Why not, Cody? Because you five are going to be picking three teammates to help you build a giant statue in your honor! Only...

"You're not going to be helping them! You're going to be telling them what to do, and not lift a single finger!"

Gasps went around the campers and ex-campers. Izzy grinned and clapped, "This'll be like that time I came across a lost tribe, and they worshipped me as a goddess because of my fiery red hair!"

Chris chuckled. "Exactly, my Izzy! The ex-campers are going to build a model of the camper that they 'worship' with this handy things!"

He held up what looked like a large Lego block.

"That looks like a large Lego block," Beth said.

"Close, but Joel calls them the Near-Industrial Construction Squares. His invention, so be sure to thank him afterwards."

" 'Nics'?" Gwen repeated. "Interesting, but why Near-Industrial?"

"Because if some idiot did try to build a real building out of it and it fell, Joel would have a lawsuit on his hands," the host explained. "Some people will try to sue over anything; I know, I speak from experience."

"One of these days, Chris," Noah said, pointing angrily at the host, "I'll find that loophole..."

"You wish, egghead!"

Noah growled while Katie patted his shoulder in comfort.

"So what we are going to do," Chris said, one-hand juggling the nics block, "is build a monument of your god or goddess, twice the size of the person involved. Then you have to hoist up your god or goddess onto the top, and the first one up there wins immunity!"

"That's it?" Beth asked. "No special rules or anything?"

"Oh! Thanks for reminding me, Beth! You get a cookie!"

As the short girl caught her new prize, Ezekiel poked Bridgette's shoulder. "You getting any of this, Bridge?" he asked. His reply was moans of delight and wet, passionate kissing between her and Geoff.

"Bridgette," the prairie boy said, turning to her now. "Bridgette, he's explaining the rules! ... Bridgette!!"

He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled, but the surfer girl had too strong of a grasp around her boyfriend. With a sigh, Ezekiel then put his foot up on Geoff's chest and pushed hard as he pulled on her shoulders.

Eventually, with a very loud and wet 'POP,' Bridgette's lips were free from Geoff's. The surfer looked around at Ezekiel, very upset by this, and hissed, "What?!"

"Chris is explaining the rules, eh!"

"Well, tell me when he starts," she replied sharply, turning back to Geoff.

"He's already explained most of them!"

Bridgette paused millimeters before kissing Geoff again, and looked over at the other winners. Cody, Beth, and Izzy all nodded, and the blond surfer's face went red.

"Oops," she whimpered.

"Holy cow," Geoff declared, throwing his hands up in horror, "I could have blown the contest for you, Bridge!"

By doing this, he had let go of Bridgette, and the surfer girl lost all balance on him and fell back, onto Ezekiel. Collapsing on top of him as he hit the ground, Bridgette looked rather embarrassed.

"Hey, get off him!" Heather stormed over, fury in her eyes. "Quit lying on him! He's my-"

The queen bee stopped when she suddenly noticed everyone was watching her, waiting for her to finish that sentence. She blushed fervently, muttered, "Um... n-nothing! Never mind," and quickly backed away.

As Geoff helped Bridgette up and Beth helped up Ezekiel, Chris tapped his foot as he waited. "Enough relationship drama," he shouted. "I haven't said the one major key about this challenge!

"You see, you have to make the god or goddess's statue of him or her looked very much like him or her! Once I give the approval, you then may lift your god or goddess onto the top of his or her statue, where they will sit on their own massive head!"

Cody was punching a few buttons on a calculator. "Chris, if we do three worshippers per winner, that'll leave two ex-campers out of the game."

"Yes, and those two will be the pagans," Chris said gleefully. "I _was_ going to have Chef Hatchet be the pagan, but since he's resting in the infirmary after Izzy's beating-"

"Hey, I was provoked!"

"Yeah, and you'll probably be wanted by the RCMP all over again for that vicious of a beating, girl. So since Chef isn't here, the two unpicked pagans will be trying to knock down the statues or tear them apart!

"So pick wisely your teammates! Those that can defend your statue, as well as those that can build, and those that won't mind you telling them what to do without lifting a finger!"

"Loser-Worshipping the Winner Gods sounds like some kind of fantasy in your little world, Chris," Leshawna remarked.

"There's nothing little about my world," Chris said, shrugging. "Okay then! Let's do the first round of picking this way: the winners will choose alphabetically, and your first choice has to be someone of the same gender!

"The order then will be Beth, Bridgette, Cody, Ezekiel, and Izzy. Let's begin with Beth!"

"I pick Lindsay," Beth shouted, pointing at the beautiful blond. Lindsay squealed with joy and ran over to hug her friend, both shouting out in happiness.

Bridgette scanned the ex-campers before saying, "I pick Courtney!"

"Alright," the CIT cheered, high-fiving her friend and then wrapping an arm around her waist. "Let's kick their ass!"

"Whoa Courtney," Bridgette said amid her giggling, "never saw you this wild before! It's pretty cool!"

"I pick Trent," Cody said. He high-fived the musician, then he elbowed him lightly. "I'm gonna need your help," he whispered into Trent's ear, "I really need some advice on... romance."

"You?" Trent replied, cocking an eyebrow. Cody nodded, risking a quick head nod in Beth's general direction, then giving a second-long point at Justin.

"I pick Tyler, eh," Ezekiel said, waving at his friend.

"Yeah, buddy," the jock shouted, pumping his fists into the air. He bolted over to the prairie boy, hand ready for a high-five. Ezekiel was ready to return it, but Tyler missed his mark and accidentally smacked his friend in the face.

"Oh crap," the jock swore when his friend fell to the ground in a daze, "sorry dude!"

Izzy winced, then turned to look over the crowd. "Um, I'll take Katie!"

The tan-skinned BFFF cried out in joy, hugged Noah and Sadie good-bye, then ran over and glomped Izzy. The redhead spun her around, then set her down. "Let's tear them apart, Katie!"

"Yes, let's!"

Chris looked over the five choices, then spoke up again. "Okay then! Second choice will be someone of the opposite gender. Beth, you first."

"Um... uh...," Beth stammered, starting to turn red.

Lindsay started elbowing her, winking at her, nodding and smiling. She was giving Beth every hint she could possibly give, including pointing at Justin and saying, "Justin,"

"I pick... Justin?" Beth said, shrugging and trying to look nonchalant though she was bright red.

The male model looked thrilled while Cody's stomach dived. The tech-geek watched as Beth giggled and snorted shyly, the male model thanking her and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh," Trent muttered. "That's what you meant, dude?"

"Ayup," Cody replied, crossing his arms.

Chris turned to Bridgette, smirking. "Do I even need to ask, Bridgette?"

"Nope," she said, then she grabbed Geoff's collar and began to kiss him. Courtney sighed and pulled the surfer away. "Focus, Bridgette!"

"But I'm not really doing anything for this challenge."

"He is! You have to let _him_ focus!"

Cody was next to pick. He looked at Gwen, then looked at Trent for permission. The musician nodded, and the tech-geek sighed in relief. "I pick Gwen."

"Shocking," Chris said sarcastically.

"I think it's a twist," Heather said, grinning. "Gwen worshipping Cody, that is a switch."

"Hey Heather," Ezekiel called out, "be nice, or I woo'nt pick you, eh!"

The queen bee looked startled at first, then glared at him. "What makes you think I want you to?"

Ezekiel raised an eyebrow at her, and she crossed her arms. After a couple seconds of staring, the ravenhaired girl sighed in defeat. "Fine yes, I do want you to."

"Then be nice. I pick Heather, Chris!"

"Your funeral, dude," the host replied. "Last, Izzy. Can I guess and say it's-"

"OWEN," the redhead shouted. "Get over here, and don't you dare eat the nics blocks!"

"I'll try," the big guy said as he walked over to her.

"Dude, these things will not pass well through your digestive system," Chris said, one-hand juggling a block. "Okay, the last pick is going to be someone from the opposing, original team! If you were a Killer Bass, you have to pick a Screaming Gopher. Former Screaming Gophers have to adopt a former Killer Bass!"

Beth nodded, then looked among the remaining campers. "Um, I'll pick... DJ!"

The football play cheered, and high-fived Beth. The farm girl looked at her three teammates and said, "Wow, I got myself quite a team! We can win for sure!"

Bridgette had to observe who was left of the Screaming Gophers. "I think I'll pick... Leshawna!"

"Right on, sister," Leshawna cheered, high-fiving Bridgette then giving her a little bump with her plush hips. "We're gonna make you a statue and have all the boys fawn over it!"

Bridgette blushed and shook her head. "C'mon, that's just silly!"

Cody was looking desperate now. "Um... I pick... Eva!"

The fitness buff looked surprised, then shrugged and came over. "Fine, but I'm not worshipping you, geek."

"I never expected you to."

"Then we have an understanding," she replied, crossing her arms and standing next to him indifferently.

Ezekiel studied the remaining campers, then he realized only one Screaming Gopher was left. "I guess I'll have to pick Noah, eh."

"So sorry you were forced to," the know-it-all replied bitterly, putting his hands in his pockets.

"And I'll finish up with Sadie," Izzy shouted. The larger BFFF squealed with joy, and ran over. She scooped up Izzy and Katie for a group hug, all three squealing, then Owen picked them up in his large arms and squealed along with them.

"This is all good fun," Chris said, shouting over the four people letting out high-pitched squeals, "but that means we have Duncan and Harold leftover."

The punk looked annoyed, while the lanky nerd smiled and slapped his back. "Don't touch me, nerd," Duncan grumbled.

"Oh c'mon Duncan, this is right up your alley," Harold said.

"How you figure that?"

"Duncan, use your head," Courtney snapped at him. "You're going to be kicking over art projects others are working on!"

A very wicked grin spread across the punk's face. "Say..."

"Okay people," Chris said, clapping. "You all will find your places, at one of the five points around the pool. And if you have to vent off some steam over being a slave for your new god, use the confession cam!"

"Chris, that's on Wawanakwa Island," Owen said.

"Oh is it?" The sound of helicopter blades met everyone's ears, and they looked up to see Joel in his flying machine, the confession cam dangling on a cord. Landing it softly on the ground, the inventor waved at the cast.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I'm back, baby!)**

**Gwen** - "Ugh! Why does he _have_ to have this smelly thing as the confessional still?"

**Beth** - "Okay, it's time to get to know Justin! He's so gorgeous and pretty and handsome and gorgeous... but is he a nice guy? And I might want to talk to the others about this, see what they know about him."

**Cody** - "Darn it, Beth picked Justin! I gotta just hope he turns out not to be her type! Please oh please oh please..."

**Justin** - "Beth picking me is a good sign that she likes me, now I just have to make sure things go as smooth as my chest. Still..."

\He taps his chin in thought.\ "She really does like Cody. I admire that guy, he has the will and energy to carry on. Beth really likes his personality... man, no one's ever cared about _my_ personality before... I wonder if she'll really like me..." \He sighs, concerned.\

* * *

**(Beth)**

"Okay guys," the farm girl said as she looked at the stack of nics. "It's time to start!"

She reached for a block when Lindsay grabbed her wrist. "No no no, Betty, you cannot help! You have to tell us what to do!"

"That's right, Beth," Justin said, patting her shoulder. "Go sit down, we'll take care of this."

Beth flushed at the attention and nodded. She sat down in a nearby chair and leaned back. "But... I feel guilty about watching you do the work."

"You're too kind of a goddess, Beth," DJ said.

The farm girl giggled, then gasped as Bunny leapt up on her chair. She patted her legs invitingly, and the gray rabbit hopped into her lap, nuzzling her stomach. Justin couldn't help but let out a sigh at the sight.

"Isn't she cute?" Lindsay said to him, leaning in and elbowing Justin's ribs.

"She sure is."

"Hey you two, let's get started," DJ shouted. "The others have started, we cannot afford to fall behind."

"Right, just remember that Betty's shoes are white!"

As the three started to work, Beth watched Justin as she stroked Bunny's fur. She was unaware that she was being watched as well.

* * *

**(Cody)**

"Aw c'mon," Cody whimpered, throwing his hands up in the air. "Why can't I be on her team?"

"Dude, you're one of the gods," Trent said. "Now let me see your shoe!"

"But why does Justin have to be on his team," the tech-geek continued, lifting up his foot and having Trent study it. "Does she really like him?"

"It's Justin, Cody," Gwen said, sorting out the colors of the blocks. "It's hard not to like him."

"You guys really like him too?!"

"Don't be a dork," Eva said as she pulled up a chair and forced the tech-geek into it. "You'd have to be really stupid to wonder why girls like Justin."

As Trent started to work on the shoes for the statue, Cody drummed his fingers nervously. "But... but... Beth and I have been spending a lot of time on the island! We-"

"What?" Eva said, scoffing. "You afraid it's going to be another case of Gwen?"

The goth girl glared at the fitness buff, but it didn't stop Eva from talking. "Cody," she said, "sometimes you have to realize that girls dig guys who are really cool, handsome, and talented."

"You're a really mean worshipper," Cody pouted, crossing his arms. "I'm cool, I'm not that bad looking-"

Eva started to laugh. Gwen raised her hand as if to smack her upside the head, and Trent grabbed her wrist. "Gwen babe," he whispered, "she'll kill you. And we don't need a human sacrifice to the god."

The tech-geek sighed, and continued to watch Beth watch Justin.

* * *

**(Ezekiel)**

The prairie boy lifted his foot for Noah to inspect. "Don't expect me to kiss it, oh masterful god," the know-it-all muttered.

"That's a weird thing to say, eh."

"It's a figure of speech, Ezekiel," Heather snapped, tapping her foot impatiently.

Tyler shot her an unfriendly glance, then started grabbing nics blocks the color of Ezekiel's shoes. He dropped a couple and they bounced into the pool. It was Heather's turn to look angrily at the jock.

"Stop goofing off and make with the model's shoes," she snapped at him.

Tyler and Heather continued to glare at each as the jock started to stack up the nics blocks. After a couple seconds of not watching as he worked, he started to press one down on the side of another, and accidentally shot it off through the air. It struck Heather under the chin.

"Ouch! Oh that's it," she shouted, shoving Tyler away. "Noah and I will work on the shoes! Go make sure our god is comfortable!"

The athlete sulked off. He grabbed a chair and gestured for Ezekiel to sit in it. After the prairie boy was seated, the jock leaned the back and almost tipped it over. Ezekiel cried out in fear of falling down, but Tyler managed to catch the chair.

"Are you trying to blow this contest for him?" Heather snapped. "Just... stay there! And don't accidentally kill him."

Tyler sighed, leaning against the back of Ezekiel's chair. "Dude," he muttered, "why do you like her so much?"

"I knoo' she's mean at times, harsh and all-"

"Dude, she hasn't said one nice word to any of us ever since she arrived here."

Ezekiel sighed, rubbing his temples. "She's just woo'ried, eh. Heather doesn't trust people with her emotions."

"Hmmm," Tyler mused, "could also be that Leshawna and Gwen dumped shaving cream all over her when she arrived."

"Oh my. It's just that she's a'boot-"

"And they drew little funny cartoons all over her when she was sleeping."

"Oh no. You see, you guys need-"

"And there was that time Eva chased with an electric hair clipper."

Ezekiel groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Tyler, you guys are never going to see her as anything but a witch if you keep trying to burn her, eh."

Tyler blinked and muttered, "Dude, that's deep. So you really like her?"

"Yes, eh," Ezekiel said, flushing a little. "She does have a lot of good qualities. She's smart, she's self-reliant, she has creative energy, and she is a really good person deep doo'n; once that popular queen bee image is stripped away that she forced herself to put up, you'll see the Heather I knoo'."

Tyler sniffed and wiped a tear away. "Dude... that's... that's beautiful." Ezekiel smiled and shrugged. The jock shouted, "High-five," and they rose their hands. Tyler swung down, missed, and smacked Ezekiel right in the face.

As the prairie boy cried out in pain, Heather really wanted to look over and shout at Tyler; however, she couldn't, because then the jock would see how flushed her face was from overhearing the conversation.

* * *

**(Bridgette)**

"Bridgette, what color are your shoes?" Courtney asked her friend.

The surfer girl popped a foot in the air for the CIT to see, as she was busy making out with Geoff. Courtney sighed, and turned to Leshawna.

"Sandals," she muttered. "That's gonna make things harder."

"Be easier if Geoff were helping 'stead of making out with her," Leshawna remarked as she began to work on her model's feet.

"Oh let them have some time together," Courtney said as she started to help Leshawna. "They haven't had any real time together during this contest."

Leshawna raised an eyebrow. "You feeling guilty, girlfriend?"

Courtney sighed and looked away. "Kind of-"

" 'Cuz you should."

The CIT glared at the smirking sister, then Leshawna gave her a friendly smack on the shoulder. "I'm just kidding ya, I got over my anger 'long time ago, girlfriend."

"But you're still chasing Duncan around."

"Yeah, that's 'cuz he gets on my nerves still."

"I know, he can do that." Leshawna looked around. "Uh-oh. Speaking of the devil..."

Courtney also saw Duncan approaching, eyeing the project with evil eyes. The CIT stood up and said, "_No_, Duncan."

"Sorry princess, but I obey no one now. I am here to defile your goddess." He glanced over at Bridgette and Geoff, then laughed. "Goddess falling for a mortal. Just like Greek mythology, huh?"

"No, it's not like...," Courtney shouted, then stopped herself. "Oh wait... yes it is."

"You mean the fool actually paid attention in school?" Leshawna asked.

"Yep, sister. Now if you don't mind," Duncan cracked his knuckles. "I'm gonna kick some model feet."

"No, you won't," Courtney shot at him.

"Like I said, princess, I'm a pagan, against all gods."

"If you interfere with Bridgette's model... then... then..."

"Then what, Ms. Blind Worshipper?"

"Then... no making out for a week!"

Duncan blanched, then growled. "Damn," he grumbled before sulking off.

There was a moment of silence before Leshawna cheered. "Girlfriend, you got him behavin' at long last!"

Courtney sighed, then smiled. "Yeah, I'm a natural animal tamer."

* * *

**(Izzy)**

"Faster, my minions!"

Izzy cracked a whip, a _real_ whip, in the air. Owen, though it was nowhere near hitting him, yelped and jumped in the air.

"Where did she get the whip?" Sadie asked Katie.

The thinner BFFF shrugged and smiled. "I've learned sometimes it's best not to ask Izzy."

Katie and Sadie were hard at work on the model's feet, while Owen was trying to get as many green and reddish-orange blocks she could. Izzy, proud of her worshippers, plopped down in a nearby chair.

"You do very well," Izzy said, nodding in approval. She let out a cry and snapped her whip, and Harold leapt a few feet backward.

"Gosh, I thought I was quiet," Harold said as he sulked off.

Izzy chuckled, leaning back in her chair. "Ah, it's nice to relax for once."

"Just let us know if we're not doing a good enough job, Izzy," Owen called out.

"I'm cool. I am content, I am peaceful, I am tranquil-"

She then let a barbaric roar and snapped her whip, scaring Duncan and causing him to fall into the pool.

"Damn it," he shouted as he surfaced. "How did you even hear me?"

"Never doubt the gods, pagan," Izzy shouted, dancing from one foot to the next. "Nasty pagans, worse than fundamental atheists!"

"What's that?" Sadie asked Katie.

"People who believe science can prove God doesn't exist."

Sadie blinked. "Is that what we'll be taught in science in our senior year?"

"I hope not. You know that I sometimes bring my workbooks to church, and I don't think our reverend would appreciate them in the house of God."

"He is an understanding man, but he wouldn't like that, would he?"

"Nope. OWEN," Katie suddenly shouted, "Don't eat the nics blocks!"

* * *

**(Later.)**

After some more building of the large models, with all teams having to chase off Harold and Duncan, the teams were almost done. The worshippers were all tired, and the gods and goddesses were feeling rather guilty.

Except Izzy.

"Guys," she shouted, running over to the statue and looking up, "my boobs are not that large!"

"Oops," Katie whimpered. "Maybe we should have used me as a model instead of Sadie."

"Why didn't you ask me?" Izzy asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"We're afraid of your whip, Izzy."

"Then go ask Ezekiel," the redhead replied, raising her voice in excitement, "he knows how big my boobs are, he was squeezing them earlier!"

You could hear a cricket chirp during the following silence. (It was communicating via chirps that he approved of the silence.)

Izzy looked baffled at the utter silence, silent save for Heather's growling and Ezekiel, who, curled up in his chair and hiding his bright red face, was whimpering.

"Okay, I'll ask him," Owen said cheerfully, and started to walk over to Ezekiel. Izzy snapped her whip, coiling it around his waist and pulling him back.

"Just reduce my model's rack a little, please."

"Alright then!"

As Katie and Sadie climbed up on the nics block statue to chisel giant Izzy down a few cup sizes, Bridgette watched and giggled.

"Izzy's so cute, isn't she?" she asked her friends.

"Cute as a rabid wolverine," Leshawna replied, as Courtney and Geoff nodded.

"Now come on guys, she's really a nice person."

"Doesn't change the fact that she is more wild than a squirrel on a sugar buzz," Geoff said, laughing.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - This place is awesome! Can I stay here?)**

**Bridgette** - "I've taken a real shine to Izzy. She may have a few... well, okay, a lot of quirks, but I hope next season, I can have her on my team."

**Ezekiel** - \hiding his eyes with his toque\ "Kill me now, please, eh."

**Izzy** - \She is looking down at her breasts.\ "I wonder how'd I look that big... nah, that's Lindsay's job. Besides, I like sleeping on my stomach, so that I can properly bite my pillow when I catch my prey in my dreams!"

**Raccoon** - \He speaks in Raccoonian, with English subtitles.\ "whoa dis playce iz awsum, i iz so glad i bumm ryde in dis smelly boxx"

* * *

**(Time passes.)**

Justin sat down in a chair, looking over at Beth apologetically. "Sorry," he said while massaging his hands, "my hands are really sore."

"Don't overdo it, Justin. I wouldn't want you to injure yourself on account of me."

"It's okay, I'm not a hand model."

Beth giggled, then gestured for him to come over. When he sat down on her chair, she took his hand and gently began to massage it. He smiled in appreciation at her.

"I'm not that good, my mom still hasn't taught me how to truly to do it," she admitted. "I'm better at reading palms."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, Lindsay taught me. Want me to try?"

"Sure, never had my palm read before." Beth studied the lines, and hummed a little. The way her face scrunched up was positively adorable to Justin. Soon, the farm girl stopped humming and looked up at him.

"I think you're going to have a career that involves steady hands," she said, "that you're going to have some success in about half a year, and that you're a hard worker."

Justin raised an eyebrow. "How you figure that?"

"You have profound fingerprints, good for gripping something sensitive like a scalpel," she pointed out, "you have a certain line in your palm that indicates luck that hasn't extended quite far enough yet...

"And this," she pointed at indenture in his palm, "is where you gripped a nics block so hard you left a mark, so it proves you're a hard worker."

They shared a laugh, and Lindsay glanced over. "Awww," the blond beauty cooed, "she's reading his palm! I wish I knew how to do read palms!"

Cody was watching the whole ordeal, and he began to wring his hands. Gwen walked over and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Cody. They're just chatting."

"Do you think...," he whimpered, poking his fingers, "that she's really interested in him?"

"Probably not that much."

"Except that he's been talking fondly about her for the past couple weeks," Eva said, hurling a nics block at Harold, "and she's looking at him like her dream beau."

Gwen glared at the fitness buff as Cody sighed. The tech-geek muttered, "Maybe I'm just not worthy of a girl I like."

"Don't say that, Cody," Trent called out to him.

Cody plopped down in a chair and continued to watch Beth and Justin. "Maybe I should have made a move before we came here," he said, "maybe I should have said I liked her instead of always just talking to her like friends... maybe I shouldn't have requested a bacon cheeseburger in front of her."

Eva, Trent, and Gwen continued to work on the statue. "I don't see why you two are concerning yourselves in his love life," Eva grumbled. "Didn't he recklessly flirt with you, Gwen?"

"Well if anyone should be concerned," Gwen remarked, "it should be you, Eva."

"How do you figure that, goth girl?"

"Because if Beth and Justin start dating, Cody's last options of girls here are Sadie... and you."

The fitness buff blanched and looked away, growling softly.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Can I get a bacon cheeseburger?)**

**Eva** - "Me date _Cody_?! I don't even date!"

**Justin** - "Isn't she just the cutest?" \He sighs, looking up at the ceiling.\

**Beth** - "Justin's a lot deeper than I thought! I think, as far as the challenge goes, I shouldn't have talked to him for so long... but I couldn't resist. He seems to really like me!"

**Izzy** - \She is stuffing kleenex down the front of her top. Izzy looks up to see the camera, as if for the first time, screams and throws her hands up, sending kleenex everywhere.\

* * *

**(Time passes again.)**

"Okay, I think we are ready," Noah said, wiping sweat away from his forehead. He stepped back and admired the model of Ezekiel, twice the size of the real boy.

"You sure did a lot," Heather snapped at the know-it-all.

"Well, I get dizzy when up high, so I couldn't climb it."

"That's a bunch of bull."

"I was doing you a favor," he replied, a sly smile on his face. "I know you wanted to get up in Ezekiel's face, so I let you go up there and do that."

"Shut up and go get Chris!"

As Noah left, Heather stood behind the model, shaking her head and sighing. Ezekiel patted her shoulder. "Doo'nt let him get to you," he said to her. "He's just a cynical guy."

"Oh, what do you care? Why don't you... go grope Izzy some more or something?"

"Heather..."

"Or Bridgette? I'm sure you prefer that surfer girl more than me."

"Heather," he said more firmly, grabbing her shoulders, "I doo'nt want to be dating Izzy or Bridgette. I want to date you, eh."

The queen bee blinked in astonishment. "D-date?"

"Really?" Tyler asked, watching from the other side of the Ezekiel model.

"Really," Ezekiel said (to Heather, not Tyler).

Heather was quiet, staring into the eyes. Ezekiel leaned in to kiss her, and she puckered up. The universal interrupting sound of someone clearing their throat stopped them.

"Chris said," Noah, the perpetrator, said to them, "that the model passes his judgment. Zeke, climb that thing."

"Is it safe, eh?" the prairie boy asked, looking up at the model.

"Of course," Heather snapped, walking away from him to gesture up at the giant Ezekiel of nics blocks. "Look at it, we worked hard on it."

"Yeah, we're dedicated worshippers," Tyler cheered, slapping the knees of the model.

After a couple slaps, he knocked the model over. Heather looked up as the back of giant Ezekiel's model came down at her, and she held up her hands in pitiful defense.

There was a terrible crash as the model smashed against the ground, shattering into an million nics blocks. As the dust cleared, Tyler and Noah looked in horror at the rubble.

Heather was panting hard, resting in Ezekiel's arms; he was holding her close ever since he pulled her away from being crushed to death by a giant model of him.

Noah slowly looked over at Tyler, utter hatred in his eyes. "If we were in a shooter game," he muttered, "I'd friendly-fire frag corpse camp you. All day."

Tyler burst into tears, falling to his knees. Heather snapped out of her shock, and looked at Ezekiel.

"Well," he whispered, "now we're even, eh."

"Wh-what?"

"You kept me awake when I had a concussion, eh. So we're even."

"But you saved me from those wolves and... and then there was that mudslide," she began to stammer, "and I also-"

She was cut off as Ezekiel kissed her, pulling her close. Heather was startled at first, then she closed her eyes and kissed him back.

"Look at the horrors you've created," Noah scolded Tyler, gesturing over to the couple and the wreckage. "Senseless destruction, near-death experiences, Heather and Ezekiel kissing... unforgivable, Tyler!"

Bridgette, like most others, had been staring ever since Tyler had knocked over his god's model. The surfer winced when she saw Ezekiel kiss Heather, then sighed.

"Still oppose them being together, babe?" Geoff asked her.

"I don't know, to be honest," she admitted, glancing at the couple again. "They look happy... she actually looks happy, genuinely happy."

"Geoff, stop gabbing to Bridge for a couple minutes," Leshawna shouted from the Bridgette model's shoulders. "We need help getting her head set on her shoulders, and that ponytail ain't gonna be easy to-"

"WE HAVE A WINNER!!"

Chris was standing in front of a fully constructed model of Izzy, as the crazy girl jumped and cheered on the giant head of herself. Bridgette, Cody, Beth, and Ezekiel (interrupting another kiss with Heather) looked over to see that they had been beaten.

"Izzy wins immunity," Chris Maclean shouted, pumping his fists in the air, "and proves that she has the most faithful followers of them all!"

Katie and Sadie hugged and squealed in celebration as Owen danced and yelled, "My girl's the best goddess there is!"

Beth sighed, then looked over at Justin. "I don't care if I lost," she said to him, "I'm just glad we got to talk at long last."

He smiled as Lindsay and DJ smiled, though the football player tapped his fingers together nervously. "Though... for the five hours we worked, we could have used Justin's help more so," he admitted.

Cody sighed, staring up at the sky. "I could really use a drink now, I'll probably be staying here tonight," he muttered.

"I ain't your damn worshipper anymore, get it yourself," Eva grumbled, walking away. Cody stared at her as she departed, wondering if he really did see a faint blush on the fitness buff's face.

"Don't listen to her," Gwen said, smiling at Cody, "and don't lose faith in the contest."

"Thanks, Gwen."

"Grape, cherry, lemon, or blueberry?"

"Blueberry would be sweet, thanks."

Bridgette sighed, then looked at Geoff. "You guys did your best. Courtney, Leshawna, Geoff, thank you so much."

"Anything, sugar," Leshawna replied.

"Any time, Bridge," Courtney replied.

Geoff replied by kissing his girlfriend, and she kissed back, moaning happily.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Boy, Ezekiel was crushed! HAR HAR!)**

**Noah** - "Historians will look back at this day, The Day Tyler Blew It Big-Time, and will say, 'Boy, Tyler blew it big-time'."

**Justin** - "It's official: I am charmed over by Beth."

**Cody** - "Is it really officially Beth and Justin? I don't know..."

**Heather** - \She caresses her lips, then looks up at the ceiling and sighs blissfully.\ "Dating a prairie boy who lives on a farm with smelly animals and loves his parents more than anything... funny thing is, I would've said no after the first detail... now... I don't know... maybe?"

**Beth** - "Okay, I have decided to ask for other peoples' opinions, my friends and those I trust. I asked Lindsay, Leshawna, DJ, Bridgette, Trent, Gwen, Eva, Zeke, Izzy, Owen, and I even asked Courtney and Duncan about what they thought.

"I think I need to make a decision who I want to ask out or... something. I'm new at this, no one asks me out." \She nervously kicks her feet.\ "I need to make a decision between Justin and Cody."

* * *

"Well, now that Izzy is immune as the main goddess," Chris Maclean said, "we have four lesser gods to choose from."

"So how exactly are we voting this?" Harold asked, pressing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"Good question, Harold. This time, all of you, yes _everyone_ is voting! All twenty-two are voting!"

There was some murmuring among the teenagers. "And there is more," the host continued. "This voting is going to be who you want to win!"

To say people looked suspicious would be an understatement.

"Chris," Leshawna growled and lifted him up by his collar, "I don't want any double-talk from you! Tell us directly what we are doing."

"You are going," the host said after the large sister put him down, "to vote for the camper you want to win. The camper with the least amount of votes is going to be staying here at Playa de Losers, and will lose the contest."

Leshawna pulled him close to her face. "Is that all?"

"That's all," the host squeaked. "Well, the four people who you all are voting for cannot voting for themselves, but that is all!"

The teenagers exchanged looks. "Alright then," Gwen muttered, shrugging her shoulders, "where are we doing this?"

"Where you always do this," Chris aid as he straightened his collar, "the Confession Cam!

"So pick who you want to win: Bridgette, Cody, Beth, or Ezekiel! Whoever gets the least amount of votes is not going back to Wawanakwa Island!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Woohoo, we're popular!)**

**Leshawna** - "I think I'm gonna vote for my girl, Beth. Girl's got man troubles, no doubt, but I think her winning the contest will give her more confidence."

**Izzy** - \rocking on her seat\ "I'm gonna vote for Ezekiel, because hey, I've let him to get to second base with me." \She begins to laugh, then pulls a tissue out from her top and wipes her eyes with it.\

**Harold** - "Though I like all the four remaining people, I'm gonna vote for Cody. Don't lose faith! Rely on your mad skills, my man, your mad skills!"

**Gwen** - "As much as I'd like to vote for Cody right now, I'm gonna vote for Bridgette, since she's always been an awesome friend to me. Plus, I'm sure she'll donate half of her winnings to a charity or something."

**Ezekiel** - "Oy, this is a tough one... I'm gonna go with Bridgette, because she's bin a real sweetheart to me the whole contest, eh."

**Heather** - "Of course I'm going to vote for Ezekiel, and if Chris pulls something..." \She takes out her nail file and drags it across her neck.\

**Cody** - "Beth. Even if she picks Justin over me, I want her to win this. Though she's probably so obsessed with Justin, she's probably forgotten about me..." \He sighs.\

**Beth** - \smiling\ "I'll be voting for Cody to win."

* * *

The voting took quite a long time, because almost every camper had to think long and hard. In the end, Chris looked jaded from waiting, and was brightened immediately when all twenty-two were done.

"Finally," he shouted as DJ, the last camper to vote, stepped out of the confession cam. "You teenagers took forever."

"Well, you're the one who wanted all twenty-two of us to vote," Courtney snapped at him.

"Okay, we just need our number counting machine to add up the votes," the host continued, unabashed.

He pointed to a table where Joel was sitting, tallying the votes by looking at a electronic video camera's screen and jotting down notes.

"I have a name," Joel called back.

"That's nice, my number counting machine. Can you bring me a cup of coffee when you're done?"

The young inventor rolled his eyes. The tension was thick as he double-checked his votes, then stood up to signify he was done counting. After quickly pouring a mug of coffee from the buffet, he handed Chris the vote tally paper and the full coffee mug.

"Thank you, number counting machine."

"Whatever."

"Can I get sugar?"

"No."

"Alright then." Chris sipped the coffee, and studied the list. "Now remember, you five remaining contestants, if you got the least amount of votes, then you're not boarding the Boat of Losers, you're not walking back on the Dock of Shame, and you're staying here...

"FOREVER!"

Trent smiled at this. "Interesting spin, Chris."

"Thank you, Trent. Speaking of spin, Joel, can you stir any cream into this?"

"No."

"Very well. Now we have four marshmallows here on the buffet plate," Chris said, walking to the buffet. "How they managed to survive Owen's assault on the food is beyond me."

"Oh, there were raspberry donuts there, that kind of filled me up," Owen said.

" 'Raspberry donuts'?" the host repeated, and saw said donuts. "MAJOR SCORE!"

The host started wolfing them down, and the campers exchanged looks. This was an unnecessary delay.

Beth tapped her fingers nervously. She looked over at Justin and Cody, who were standing next to each other. Leshawna saw her looking, and patted her shoulder.

"You make your choice, girl?"

"I... I think I have."

"You put a lot of thought into this, and I think that's cool," Leshawna continued. "Whatever you like, girl."

Courtney overheard this, and she walked over to Beth. "Just let them know soon," she suggested Beth. "Chris cannot binge for long, and the show's almost over."

"Yeah, and you're gonna pick Justin, right?" the plus-sized sister said, playfully elbowing Beth.

"Justin? No way, she's going to pick Cody," Courtney replied.

"I don't think so, CIT-freaky," Leshawna replied. "Justin's like the sweetest chocolate coated candy, with a cherry-centered sweetheart!"

"Oh is that so? Cody's a responsible, noble, and loyal young man," Courtney retorted. "Young men like him amount to great things!"

"Justin!"

"Cody!"

Courtney and Leshawna started slap-fighting, their hands flying right over a crouching, nervous Beth. Justin and Cody were watching this with weird looks on their faces.

"Dude," Cody muttered, "aren't _we_ supposed to be the ones fighting over Beth?"

"I'm not a real fighter," Justin admitted. "I've never started a fight in my life."

"You'd probably lay me flat with one punch from those arms," Cody said, shrugging.

"Nah man, I don't want to hit you; you're a cool guy."

Cody couldn't help but smile. He loved being called 'cool'. "Thanks dude. You're cool too, dude."

They exchanged a fist bump. "May the best man win," Justin said.

"Right back at 'cha."

Chris burped, then turned back to the campers with raspberry around his mouth. "Ofay," he said, his mouth half-full of his last donut, "iff's tahme too annouff fa winner."

"Let's remember this," Duncan whispered to some of the others, "in case we have to bribe Chris over anything."

"The," Chris started, then swallowed, "first marshmallow goes to, obviously, Izzy."

He tossed one of the four marshmallows to the redhead, who caught it with her mouth. After chewing and swallowing, she cheered and jumped in Owen's arms. "Woohoo, it's good to be the goddess!"

Bridgette took a deep breath as she held Geoff's hand. Ezekiel bounced on the balls of his feet, fiddling with his toque nervously. Beth swallowed, looking around the other teenagers for visible hints. Cody bit his lower lip, crossing his arms and drumming his fingers on his arms.

"Now, the next marshmallow," Chris said, "goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

"Bridgette!"

The surfer squealed in joy, leaping in the air. She hugged Geoff in joy, and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, guys," she gushed.

"The next marshmallow," the host continued, "goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

"Ezekiel!"

The prairie boy gasped, then pumped his fists in the air. He hugged Heather, who had started cheering then tried to hide her joy.

"Way to go, dude," Tyler shouted, holding his hand up to indicate a high-five. Ezekiel screamed in fear and covered his face in protection. The athlete chuckled nervously, then extended his hand for a shake. Ezekiel shook his hand, and was left uninjured.

"Okay then," Chris said, eyeing the last two campers, "that leaves Beth and Cody. Which of you lost?"

Beth and Cody swallowed nervously. The farm girl looked over at the tech-geek and said, "Cody? Good luck."

"You too, Beth," he replied, his voice a little ragged from anticipation, "you too."

"The last marshmallow," Chris said, narrowing his eyes, "this final marshmallow is for...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Cody."

The tech-geek barely managed to catch the marshmallow when it was tossed to him. His face was a mixture of emotions: relief, joy, sorrow, and stress.

Beth's shoulders slumped, then snapped her fingers. "Oh rats," she cursed, "I was _so_ close to winning this."

"Sorry Beth," Chris said, shrugging his shoulders and wiping the raspberry from his mouth with his sleeve. "It looks like you're going to be staying here."

The farm girl nodded, sighing miserably. She managed to smile and look at the four winners. "You guys, I wish you all luck. You all deserve to win this!"

The four smiled back at her. "You did well, eh," Ezekiel said to her.

Beth nodded, running her tongue over her teeth and clicking it merrily. "And I got rid of those braces. Probably would have cost me ten thousand to get them removed anyway."

"It almost cost that bloody much," Chris mumbled.

* * *

**(Later.)**

At the dock of Playa de Losers, Joel was helping Chef Hatchet, who was on a gurney and wrapped in bandages, onto the boat.

"I'll get you for this, Izzy," the cook growled as he rolled by the redhead.

"I'd like to see you try," she replied, crossing her arms smugly. "You finally got the critique that fittingly describes your cooking."

"His cooking does not kick ass," Duncan pointed out.

"Ah touché," Izzy replied. She popped on one foot, waved at the crowd of ex-campers, "Good-bye, my former teammates! I'll see you all at the finals!"

She performed a backwards flip onto the boat. Sitting down, she blew a kiss to Owen, who caught it and popped it in his mouth, eating it.

Bridgette had to be pulled away from Geoff by Leshawna and Eva. Once their love embrace was separated, Geoff waved good-bye, looking sad already.

"Bye Geoff, I love you! Bye guys," Bridgette called out, waving to them.

She turned to Cody and Ezekiel, and slung her arms around their shoulders. "Well boys," she said to them, "let's go back to that crappy campground, and get ready the semifinal challenge!"

"More than eager to," Cody said excitedly, nodding.

"I'm ready for it now, eh," Ezekiel replied, punching his palm.

The three boarded the Boat of Losers, Chris Maclean right behind them. The host went to the steering wheel, started the ship up, and headed off.

The losing campers continued to wave and call out good-bye. "So long suckers," Duncan shouted, "so sorry you have to leave this fancy resort and go back to Camp Wawa-Hell-Nakwa!"

"Don't hurt yourselves too much," Heather chimed in.

"Have fun," Katie and Sadie shouted in unison, "we're rooting for you guys!"

After saying this, Katie hugged her friend and said, "Isn't it cool how we still want them all to win, even though we voted for separate people?"

"Oh I know," Sadie crooned, "that's what really shocked me! But both people we voted for won!"

Noah shrugged. He wrapped his arm around Katie's waist and said, "Well, you two cannot always agree on everything. If you did, you'd be fighting over me."

"You wish, Noah," Gwen said.

Beth and several other people laughed at Noah's expense. The farm girl walked over to Justin, who looked down at her and smiled sympathetically.

"Sorry you lost, Beth," he said.

"It's okay. I had a great time, and I have those stupid braces off now," she said. "And..."

She, with a shaking and slightly sweaty palm, put her hand on the back of his hand. "... I can get to know you better, Justin."

The model, whose heart skipped a beat at those words and her touch (and no one had ever wowed Justin before, it was always the opposite), winked at her as he turned his hand to take hers into it. The farm girl turned bright red and giggled, and he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

Cody managed to see all this from the Boat of Losers. He slumped in his seat and covered his face with one hand. The tech-geek's heart, stomach, and hopes all sank at the same time, which was why he felt so down.

"Woohoo, we won, we won, we won," Izzy chanted, balancing on one hand. She lost her balance and fell right into Ezekiel's lap. "We're going to the semifinals!"

Bridgette nodded, and leaned back, looking up at the starry night sky. "It seems so hard to believe I made it this far," she admitted. "This is exhilarating."

"Doo'n to four people," Ezekiel observed. "Seems like almost yesterday, there were all twenty-two of us on that island, ready to compete."

"Yeah, time flies when you're having fun," Chris said, chuckling. "Makes me wish we could stretch this season, but we need to work hard on the next season, so this one cannot be delayed."

"I could get a Ms. Cocoanut to be voted off," Izzy suggested. She looked over at Cody, and said, "What do you think about extending this show a little... longer..."

She trailed off when she saw how upset he was. Bridgette and Ezekiel noticed then too, and all of them were able to guess why he was feeling down. Bridgette, who was sitting next to him, put her arm on his shoulders.

"Cody, I'm so sorry," she said.

"I'll be all right, I guess," the tech-geek replied, removing his hand from his face. "Should have expected it, I guess."

"Don't say that," Izzy howled, "I would date you over my ex any day!"

Cody shook his head. "Well, it's my own fault, right? I should have asked Beth first."

Chef Hatchet began to chuckle, and Chris smacked his side; the cook moaned in pain and fell silent.

"There will be others, eh," Ezekiel offered. "Who knows? Maybe you'll find a girlfriend among the new contestants in season three!"

The brunette tech-geek smiled a little and looked up. "That's possible. And you know, just like Gwen, I'll be happy for Beth. She has a handsome new boyfriend now, someone who's been interested in her for some time."

"I don't know why you should be happy," Chris admitted, shrugging. "Wouldn't it be better to be dating her rather than her dating someone else?"

"Chris," Cody said, chuckling a little, "ever heard the expression, 'If you love them, you'll let them go'."

"Yeah, but I don't get it."

"Figures," Bridgette remarked, as she rubbed Cody's back in comfort. "Don't worry, Cody, there will be someone for you some day."

The tech-geek nodded and looked up at the night sky. He tried to think about how vast the world was, how many girls were out there, how many Gwens and Beths he might meet and fall in love with. The future, like the contest, was still ahead of him.

He was also quite fascinated when he saw Joel fly overhead in his flying machine, the confessional outhouse dangling from a steel cable from it.

"I'm gonna have to ask him for the blueprints for that," he mused as he watched the flying machine fly past the moon.

* * *

**Bridgette** - Geoff, Ezekiel, Eva, DJ, Noah, Courtney, Gwen (7)

**Ezekiel** - Izzy, Heather, Bridgette, Katie, Owen, Tyler (6)

**Cody** - Sadie, Trent, Duncan, Beth, Harold (5)

**Beth** - Lindsay, Leshawna, Justin, Cody (4)

--

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah, Heather, Gwen, Harold, Beth.

**Remaining Campers** - Cody, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Izzy. (4 left.)

* * *

--

--

--

If you want to wonder about why who voted for who, let me point out a couple things. One, I tried to fit the picks as best to character I could, and two, the TDI characters don't always vote for who you'd think they would. I think in TDI and TDA, there were several times when an outcome would have been impossible unless someone voted for the person who was supposed to go. (*cough*BridgetteinTDI*cough*HeatheroverIzzyorGeoff*cough*)

Remember to vote for who you want to win in my profile's poll. Beth will be removed when the next chapter is up.

I apologize to all her fans, and I know a lot of you were rooting for her. But she has Justin now (I also apologize to those rooting for Cody and Beth, but I had this planned for some time).

So we're finally down to the Final Four! Just two more contests! Hard to believe it'll be over soon, huh?

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Woo, we're in the conclusion; that's a first!)**

**Raccoon** - \The outhouse is rocking slightly due to being suspended. The gray critter puts his paws up in the air, whooping, speaking in Raccoonian with English subtitles.\

"yeehaw best theme park ride evah!!!"


	49. Day 19, Part 1: Surf Cabin, Here We Come

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. We'd love to take credit for writing this, but we have to give Chuck Norris credit for that; we don't know why.

* * *

**To Everybody** - I know there a lot of people upset over the results of the Beth, Justin, and Cody love triangle. Some are happy. I'll try to make it up to you all.

**Warning!** - This chapter contains a bit more sexual humor than normal. If you don't like that, you have been warned.

* * *

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

--

--

--

(_Narrated by Chris Maclean, who is talking under an umbrella during a rain storm._)

Welcome to Total Drama Comeback!

Nice weather we're having, huh? Well, let me get to the recap of the last episode!

We visited the losers at Playa de Losers, as they were lounging about in Loser-Hood! What a bunch of... well, you get the idea. Point is, they all had something to say about the current five campers who had not received the boot just yet.

Then the five campers were brought over for a special challenge. The losers were forced to build block statues of the winning five. As they constructed, there was love in the air: Ezekiel mended bridges with Heather, Beth and Justin found themselves falling for each other, and Bridgette couldn't stay off Geoff. Wow, I've seen hormonal teens, and then there are those two.

In the end, Izzy won the contest, and Beth was dubbed Least Popular of the Winners by the campers voting. Though it was a happy ending for her, as she wound up with the gorgeous, handsome, and actually deeper than a pretty face Justin.

Tough luck, Cody bra.

But enough of the losers! We have four potential winners: Bridgette, Izzy, Cody, and Ezekiel! We are at the semifinals, and one more camper has to go!

\The host holds out a hand from under the umbrella.\ See this weather? Remember last season, when we sent the campers up the creek? This time, we have something much more challenging!

What ever could it be? How many laws will I have to bend to get away with such a thing? And what will happen when the four campers are alone with each other? Hopefully, we will be able to screen all of it... on TOTAL... DRAMA... \loud thunder clap\... yipe!... COMEBACK!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 49 (Day 19, Part 1)** - Ocean's Four and a Raccoon

* * *

**(Last Night.)**

Bridgette stood on the patio of the Killer Bass cabin, Ezekiel right next to her.

"Ah rain," she said, smiling. "Nature's way of cleaning."

"Awfully big coincidence, eh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there was a freak rain storm when there were only four campers last season, eh. Same thing here."

Bridgette raised one of her slender eyebrows. "Hmmmm, true," she mused. "But I doubt that Chris Maclean can manipulate the weather that well."

"I guess so."

"It'd take an extraordinary genius to bend our Mother Nature to their will," the surfer girl said, chuckling. "And no one should mess with her."

"Ayup yup."

As they continued to watch the rain, the two campers at the Screaming Gophers were also on their patio, though neither were watching the rain.

"Is Cody still sad he lost Beth?" Izzy asked Cody. The brunet geek was sitting in a chair, busy playing on an electronic, hand-held game.

"No, not really," he said distantly.

"Not at all?"

"Why would I think about her now? She's happy with Justin, much more. After all, he's so handsome and talented and deeper than a scrawny tech-geek like me..."

Izzy came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders. "Poor poor Cody. Izzy feels for you, she really does. And she hates Justin too."

"I don't hate Justin."

"Then you're a better man than Izzy," she said, then giggled. "Just to let you know something, I think you're the third coolest guy of all guys on Wawanakwa."

"Third?"

"Owen's first, Zeke's second, you're third."

Cody smiled. "Third ain't that bad. Thanks Izzy."

"No problem!"

As the four teenagers watched (Bridgette and Ezekiel the rain, Cody and Izzy the hand-held game), Chris came over wearing a raincoat, goulashes, and an umbrella.

"Okay campers, get some sleep now," he instructed them. "Tomorrow starts the semifinals!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Place your bets!)**

**Cody** - "I'm still shocked that I got this far, you know? Though I struck out, well twice, I have come a long way. Still..." \he sighs\ "it just doesn't feel that great right now. Maybe I'd feel better if I hadn't... naw, I don't want to dwell on the negative."

**Bridgette** - "Oh wow, I cannot believe it! I'm at the final four! Just two more challenges! Wow, what a lucky girl I am! Mom, if you're watching this, I love you, and if I win this contest, we can use some of the money to re-seed the garden! And fix the garage door, that thing never works."

**Izzy** - "I really think that I have a good shot at winning the whole thing, since I have the killer instinct, the mortal combat skills, I'm a real street fighter, and I'm a super, smashing sister! Woohoo! The only issue is that I love the other three a lot; Izzy's never felt this closer to a group of beings than the thing she made friends with a wolf pack."

**Ezekiel** - "Who could have seem me do so well, eh? Me, the little twerp who was voted off first last season, nearing the finals? Sometimes, though, I wish I would get voted off, because Bridgette, Izzy, and Cody deserve to win this so much moo'r. I already got a girlfriend 'oot of this."

\He waves at the camera.\ "Heather, if you're watching this, I hope the others are giving you a break, eh! Take care... um, babe!"

* * *

The four campers wished each other good-bye, then crawled into bed. They all fell asleep, soothed by the steady rhythm of the rain.

Chris Maclean headed over to the cafeteria, where Chef was cleaning up after dinner. "Evening, Chris."

"Evening, Chef. Evening, Joel."

"Howdee-doo," the young inventor said. He was seated at a table, looking over some papers. "Chris, are you sure this upcoming challenge is going to be safe?"

"Of course, dude. We did something like this before, it should be all right."

"But-"

"Now now now, think about the ratings when this pulls off," the host said, chuckling. "You're a good kid, Joel, I cannot wait to torment you next season."

"Gee, thanks."

As the host downed a cup of hot chocolate, he headed out. Joel looked over at Chef Hatchet. "Aren't you concerned in the least, Chef?"

"No."

"Even though Chris is using the Climate Organizer R-4000?"

"Okay, that I'm a little worried about."

Joel scratched his head, looking worried. "You know, I really don't think Chris Maclean should use machines that can influence nature. With great power comes great responsibility, and that doesn't involve ratings."

"Lighten up, wrench boy. Enjoy the fact that you're assisting us, and not under the spotlight."

Chef then poured himself and Joel some coffee; however, Joel noticed something unusual about the liquid.

"Holy being from another planet," the young inventor shouted, "is the coffee trying to _escape_ from the mug?"

Chef noticed this too, and hurriedly ran to the back of his kitchen. Coming back with a very large tenderizer, he smashed both mugs, pounding the counter where the liquid spilled on. With ragged panting, he said, "Not no mo' it ain't!"

Joel stared with a mixture of horror and disbelief.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Now that's some strong coffee!)**

**Joel** - "Remind me to order out in season three.

"Anyway, I know you all are probably wondering what the Climate Organizer R-4000. It's similar to the Climate Organizer R-3000, which Chris used last season to cause a powerful rain storm that sent the two cabins adrift down the river.

"This time it's a little different. The winds are blowing the other way, and they're going to get a lot more powerful. It's almost dangerous, but the thing is, since Wawanakwa is the only place to really be hit by the storm, Chris says there is no danger of any damage to the environment, since this is a really crappy island overall.

"And if you're wondering why we inventors like to put thousand numbers at the end of our inventions, it's because we think it's cool. We're allowed to do that, we made it, and it sounds futuristic."

* * *

The winds really did pick up, as Joel said; he barely made it back to the cafeteria after his little confession in the Confessional Cam. The brunet inventor looked out the window and saw trees whipping around.

"You know what the worst part of all this is, Chef?"

"What's that, wrench boy?"

"If this turns out to be a pattern for when there are only four campers left in the game every season, Chris is eventually going to flatten this island with a hurricane."

"How's that bad?"

"Because once he doesn't have to host the show, he'll be like the next James Bond villain and play God with nature."

"Possibly."

"What, you hoping to be sidekick?"

"No, I'll be the henchman that stabs his boss in the back at the last minute," said the large cook, dusting the pieces of the coffee mugs into a dustbin. "Master Chief, that'd be my name."

Joel raised an eyebrow. "Well, it's good to have goals."

* * *

**(The Next Day, which is right after yesterday.)**

The morning sun rose over the horizon, a glorious sight. It was a thing of beauty to behold, but it wasn't so beautiful to Cody, who got a ray beam directly in his eyes.

"Mrrrghll farrrgn," he grumbled, trying to cover his head and ignore the rocking feeling he had. Cody felt like he slept weird, because that weird rocking had been in his dreams too, and it hadn't left him yet.

"Forget this," he muttered. Pulling himself out of bed, he started to dress himself, still unable to shake the rocking feeling.

"_I must have slept _really_ weird_," he thought to himself as he headed for the door.

When he opened and walked out on the patio, he stopped. Usually greeting him was the sight of the grassy campgrounds, the birds chirping, or possibly Chris's air horn. None of these were here right now.

It was water.

Water, water, and nothing but water in all directions. Not a scrap of land, not a hint of bird life, and certainly no Chris with an air horn.

Cody took this all in as best a calm, well-paced, smooth, and accepting teenager like he was could: he let out a horrified scream.

In only a few seconds, Ezekiel was out his door, still in his boxers and throwing on a shirt. "Cody! What's wrong, eh? What's-"

He ran right into the water. Bridgette came out just as he resurfaced, sputtering and gasping.

"This wasn't here last night," Cody shouted as Ezekiel dog-paddled back to the Killer Bass cabin. Bridgette gasped, her hands over her mouth in horror.

"What happened?" she gasped. "Where are we? Are we... Zeke!"

The prairie boy was laying on the patio, curled up and shivering. "F-f-f-freezing...," he stammered. Bridgette came to his side.

"Well, of course it's freezing," said Izzy, matter-of-factly. Cody jumped, for he didn't even recall Izzy coming out of the girls' side of the Gopher cabin. "We're in the ocean."

"The ocean?" Cody yelled, his hands on his head. "But... but... that's impossible!"

"D-doesn't... look... imp-impossible...," Ezekiel managed to say.

"Zeke, stay focused," Bridgette instructed him, then turned to Izzy and Cody. "You two! Please see if Chris left a little note for us or something to explain this insanity. I'll take care of Ezekiel."

"I know exactly what happened," Izzy said, leaning on the balcony as Cody darted into the boys' side of the Gopher cabin. "Chris cranked up some artificial weather machine, and now he wants us to compete out here in the middle of the ocean!"

She tapped her lips in thought. "Though how we do that is beyond me... what do you guys think?"

Izzy looked around and noticed that no one was there. Looking crestfallen, she then noticed the Confessional Cam float nearby the cabins.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Lost In Sea!)**

**Izzy** - "This is pretty wild! I always wanted to be lost at sea! I was once, but I don't really count that time, because I hated the people I was stuck with. No fun at all, they didn't want to do I Spy or Charades while on that raft!"

**Ezekiel** - "How is that the ocean water is so cold, eh? The sun's shining on it half of every day, shouldn't it be a little warmer or something?!"

**Cody** - "What I want to know is, how is that the cabins can float? Were they built for that purpose? And how is it this Confession Cam floats? It has a hole in the bottom!"

**Bridgette** - \glaring at the camera\ "Real funny, Chris! What would have happened if the cabins sank?"

* * *

Chris was scarfing down honey-roasted peanuts at his trailer, with Chef Hatchet and Joel nearby. "Don't worry about those cabins sinking," he told the two. "They were built for floating."

"Seems kind of silly to have added that feature during construction," Joel said, shrugging, "but I'm not gonna complain."

"Now, let's check in on them," the host said as he headed over to a large collection of TVs and controls. He began to fiddle with them, but nothing appeared on the screens. "Um, Joel? Use your technology wisdom to fix these, please."

"I can't do that."

"What? Why not? Afraid of voiding warranty?"

"No, I'm not worried about that, since they're your TVs. I can't get in contact with the cabin cameras because someone removed all of them some time ago."

"What?" Chris looked downcast.

"Don't look at me, I only removed the cameras in the kitchen," Chef Hatchet said. "Kitchen time is Chef's alone time, maggot!"

"Jeez, fine," the handsome host grumbled. "But how will we know were they are?"

Joel walked over, and pressed a few buttons. A radar map appeared on the central TV screen, with Wawanakwa Island in the bottom-left corner. Two blips, one green and one red, were far out at sea, very slowly drifting towards the island.

"At the current rate, they should be here in two days," the young inventor said. "Thanks to the Climate Organizer R-4000, the winds are blowing them this way."

"Yeah, who needs the moon when we can control the tides?" Chef Hatchet said. "Stupid moon never did anything for me, don't see why girls find it so romantic."

Chris sighed. "Well, I left instructions on the four doors of the teammates. They tell them why they are there, what the challenge is, what the teams are, and how voting will go down when they arrive."

"You left the instructions on the doors?" Joel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"On the _inside_ of the doors, right?"

"Only for the Killer Bass, I'm afraid to go inside a cabin where Izzy is sleeping. You think I'm a fool?"

"Maybe in the sense that you put a note on the outside of a door during a _hurricane_," Joel commented.

Chris took this in, and shrugged. "Meh. Actually, that makes it more fun." 

* * *

After Ezekiel was changed into warm clothes and breathing normally again, Bridgette noticed the note on the door. She tore it off and began reading it.

"Cody, Izzy," she called out. "Can you come over here?"

The two Screaming Gophers leapt from patio to patio, since the cabins were close enough. Izzy was a little bit of a showoff, doing a flip with her jump. Once the four campers were together, Bridgette began to read the note.

"_Dear Campers,_

_Welcome to the Semifinal Challenge! Today, you will be competing in teams of two, in a test of endurance and character! You will notice that you are adrift at sea right now-_"

"Oh _no_," Cody interrupted, sarcasm thick in his voice. "I don't think we noticed."

"_I hope you don't get cabin fever, ha ha ha. Now, you will find further instructions on the note inside the girls' side of the Killer Bass cabin._"

Bridgette looked up from the note, then headed over to the instructed place. She came back with the second note.

"_Now, as I stated in the previous note, you are going to be judged on your character, your actions, and your endurance. You will be judged by me (your handsome host), Chef Hatchet, and Joel. This is the challenge I like to call The Lost Cabins._

"_The teams for this challenge and the method we will choose how next loser will be voted off will be on notes on the Screaming Gophers cabin doors._"

"I don't remember seeing any notes," Cody said, then looked over at his cabin. He shrugged and headed over.

"No stealing my underwear while you're in my side," Izzy called out.

"I wonder what he means by endurance," Bridgette mused.

"Probably not losing it completely, eh," Ezekiel said. He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "Guess I already lost some points."

Izzy swallowed nervously, looking to the side. "Um... guys? There might be a bit of a problem with Chris judging us."

"You mean besides the fact that he has no regard to the safety of our lives," Bridgette said, "that he's completely self-absorbed, and I don't think he even has standards set out?"

"No, but those are true," Izzy said. "The real problem is that there are no cameras in the cabins anymore."

"What?" Ezekiel and Bridgette asked in unison.

"I... um... kind of removed them all."

"What?! _Why_?!"

"Izzy wanted her alone time!!" the redhead shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

"But why'd you remove the cameras from the boys' side of the Gopher cabin?" Ezekiel asked.

"In case Izzy wanted alone time with Owen."

Bridgette looked at Izzy unsteadily. "But... why the Killer Bass cameras?"

"In case it didn't work between Owen and I, so that I could have alone time with Zeke."

Ezekiel turned bright red in the face and tapped his fingers together nervously. Bridgette stifled a laugh and asked, "Okay, but what about the cameras in my side?"

"In case things didn't work out between Geoff and you, and you two wanted your alone time together!"

Now Bridgette was bright red in the face. She looked nervously at Ezekiel, but the prairie boy had pulled his toque down over his eyes in embarrassment. "Um, Izzy?" the surfer girl said, "you sure have a weird sense of romance."

"Izzy is a crack pairing fan," the redhead said, beaming proudly. "Izzy loves the idea of things going completely different than they were supposed to be, and people hooking up with other people! Like the chaos theory, it is!"

As Bridgette and Ezekiel tried to recover from this embarrassment, Izzy bounced on the heels of her feet. "I wonder if that means I lose?" she mused. "But it was worth it, to get my alone time. Izzy would have been a little bit embarrassed if she had talked in her sleep last night. She had a naughty dream."

"Hey guys!"

Cody was leaning over the balcony of the Screaming Gophers cabin. "Guys, I can't find those notes!"

"What?" Bridgette cried out, snapping out of her disconcerted state. "Cody, are you sure? Did you check around the doors?"

"I checked everywhere!"

"You didn't check my underwear drawer, did you?" Izzy asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"Um, no," Cody remarked. He looked at the doors to the cabin, then noticed something. "Hey... there's a little bit of tape on the doors."

"On the 'ootside?" Ezekiel asked.

"Yeah."

There was silence between the four for a few seconds. "You mean to tell me," Ezekiel said, shaking his head, "that Chris put some notes on the 'ootside part of the doors of the cabin during a _hurricane_?"

"... Looks like it."

"What a dumb dickweed, eh," he cursed. He looked over at the two girls and said, "Soo'ry a'boot my language, eh."

"I was thinking much worse words," Bridgette admitted.

"I was thinking much worse actions," Izzy said cheerfully.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I was thinking what you were thinking.)**

**Cody** - "So we're stuck at sea with no clue what to do, or how long we'll be left out here. With two hot babes!" \He grins, then his face falls.\ "Who are both taken."

* * *

"So what are we going to do for our viewers, since we don't have any cameras with the campers?" Chef Hatchet asked.

Chris tapped his chin. "Well, I'm sure the viewers would love to know more about me and you, Chef!"

Joel raised an eyebrow. "You sure? This isn't the biography channel, Chri-"

"My career began in junior high," Chris said to the camera, leaning back in his chair. "Or I like to think it did. I started to do the morning announcements, and..."

As the host continued to rant about himself, Chef Hatchet started to look sick. The cook rolled his eyes as Chris said "handsome face" for the fifth time in three minutes.

"Joel," he muttered to the young inventor, "I will pay you money to club him over the head."

"Why me? You're much stronger. He'd be out longer."

"I think that violate some rule in my contract."

"Well, I don't want him to kick me off the third season."

"And then in college, I lasted about three minutes before I dropped out to guest-host a show," Chris continued, a proud smile on his face. "The producers said that ratings tripled because of my awesome hosting, and thus they wanted me to start hosting other shows..."

As the host ranted, Joel and Chef Hatchet exchanged glances. "Oh for the love of cave dwellers," the young inventor grumbled, "maybe we should club each other."

* * *

Cody, Bridgette, Izzy, and Ezekiel had gathered up in the guys' side of the Killer Bass cabin, sitting in a small group. They exchanged looks, wondering what to say in such a bizarre, dangerous situation.

"So," Izzy said, rocking back and forth on her knees, "when are you two guys going to start fighting?"

Cody and Ezekiel stared at her with baffled looks. "What do you mean?" the brunet tech-geek asked.

"Everyone knows in situations like this, the guys start to violently fight over who leads," Izzy pointed out. "It's part of your stupid testosterone, where you have to punch each other to prove who's more fit to lead."

"And they have to lead," Bridgette added, smiling and nodding. "Guys always have to be in charge. They might not have any clue-"

"They usually don't," Izzy added.

"Exactly. But because they're guys, they have to fight to prove their manly men."

Ezekiel and Cody exchanged looks, really confused now.

"It's just like with little boys," the redheaded gal continued. "You stick a bunch of boys in one room with a thousand toys, they will all want to play with one, and they will start punching each other over it."

"But Zeke and I aren't little boys," Cody protested.

"Awwww," Izzy cooed, ruffling Cody's brown hair, "that's so cute, that they think they're grown up."

"Rather adorable," Bridgette added, giggling.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Zingers!)**

**Ezekiel** - \looking around, confused\ "Should I be insulted, eh?"

**Cody** - "The girls were just having some fun with us there, I'm pretty sure. At least I hope so. ... Look, I'm not Rambo or Captain Kirk, but... but... I am smart! And cute!"

* * *

Ezekiel and Cody continued to stare at each other as the girls laughed. The prairie boy balled up his fist, and very lightly punched Cody's shoulder.

"There, I'm the manliest man now, eh," he said.

"Ooo, if my robots weren't here," the tech-geek replied in mock rage, waggling his fists.

Izzy and Bridgette giggled some more, then the surfer girl became serious. "But speaking of leadership, what are we going to do?"

"Well, we don't even know the teams," Cody pointed out. "It could be boys verses girls."

"What if it is Killer Bass verses Screaming Gophers, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Knowing Chris, it'll probably be neither of those just to break tradition," Izzy mused. "He probably made the teams Ezekiel and I verses Bridgette and Cody."

"I'm actually more concerned with surviving than winning," Bridgette admitted. "I love the ocean, but I don't want to die in it."

"But a funeral at sea is best," Izzy declared. "I want that, because then my remains will be feasted on by sharks or by krill. I'd love to have a giant whale swallow my body, and then I'll be at one with the whale-"

"That's nice, Izzy," Cody interrupted her; he was starting to look a little green. "Look guys, why don't we just work together to survive this?"

The other three looked at him strangely, and he shrugged. "Look, we all like each other, and we all want to survive this. Why don't we just stick together?"

"Oh, Izzy approves of this," the redhead said, nodding eagerly. "We can have an orgy!"

Cody and Bridgette blanched, while Ezekiel looked confused. "An 'orgy'?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Yeah, we have the same amount of guys and girls, it's perfect," Izzy declared, rubbing her hands together vigorously. "I can have Cody first, Bridgette can have Zeke-"

"Izzy, please tell me you're not serious," the surfer girl cut in, her face starting to turn pink.

"I am! Then after the first round, you can have Cody, and I can have Zeke!"

Izzy leapt into Ezekiel's lap, grinning slyly up at him. "Or would you like to be with me first?"

"Um, maybe," Ezekiel said, looking nervous. "But what do you do at an 'orgy,' eh?"

"Anything you want, Zeke babe," she cooed. "Then next, you and Cody can provide some yaoi fan service! Woohoo!"

Cody made a choking sound. "Um, Izzy? I'm not into that-"

"Do it for the ladies, Cody! Girls love that stuff!"

"Well," Cody said, drumming his fingers together, "would you and Bridgette do yuri fan service?"

"Time permitting, sure."

"This is ridiculous," Bridgette suddenly declared, looking mad. "Izzy, we're not having an orgy!"

"But if we're lost at sea and this is how we'll spend the rest of our sad days before we are taken by Neptune or Poseidon-"

"We're not going to die," Bridgette shouted, standing up angrily. "Stop talking about it, none of us are going to die!"

The surfer girl rubbed her temples, and stormed off for the door. "I need some fresh air!"

She slammed the door behind her, leaving the other three in shock. Ezekiel soon picked Izzy off of him and set her down on the ground gently, then walked outside too.

Izzy looked at Cody, batting her eyes. "Well, we are supposed to go first."

Cody chuckled nervously, then merely said, "You are one wild girl, Izzy."

"Thank you."

Outside, Bridgette was leaning over the balcony, staring down into the ocean. She looked lost in thought, and didn't seem to notice when Ezekiel approached her.

"Bridgette?" he said, but she didn't reply. "Bridgette, are you okay?"

A few seconds of silence past between the two friends before she began to speak. "I'm scared, Ezekiel. I really am."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "We're going to be okay, Bridge-"

"How do you know that?" she snapped at him. "We're lost at sea, we're floating in cabins, we were left here by a man who cares more about how his hair looks on camera than our _lives_!

"I don't want to die out here because he thought it would be fun for the viewers," she cried, hammering the balcony. "I want to see my mother again! I want to see the man she's dating now! And Geoff, I might never see him again! All my friends, and the animals I see at the shelter too..."

She leaned over her side, shutting her eyes tight and trying desperately not to cry. "I can't even say good-bye to them, because Izzy took all the cameras out of the cabins! We all have families and friends and loved ones, whom we might never see again because Chris Maclean wanted to have a good laugh at our expense! Or more fittingly, at our deaths!"

The surfer girl panted emotionally, covering her eyes with one hand.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - This cam could die too! Ayieeee!)**

**Ezekiel** - "I really didn't knoo' what to say to her. I still think I'm no good at talking to girls, and I'm really woo'ried I might offend them like that first day in the first season, eh."

* * *

Intrepidly, Ezekiel put his hand on her back, and rubbed it soothingly. "Bridgette, you cannot give up hope. I doo'nt believe you're the type to give up, eh."

"It's never been this bad, Zeke!"

"I think I've been in woo'rse situations, eh."

"What could be worse than this?"

Ezekiel tapped his lips. "Um... stuck down a deep hole with a concussion and an angry Heather? Nearly chewed up and swallowed by a shark, eh? How a'boot when I had a torturer / murderer / jellybean smuggler standing over me with a power saw inches away from my leg?"

Bridgette took a deep breath, then managed to chuckle. "I... I guess those are worse. I lost it back there, didn't I?"

"You have the right to be scared, eh. I'm really scared too, I doo'nt mind admitting."

She turned around and hugged him. "Ezekiel, thank you so much."

"You're welcome, eh," he said, rubbing her back. After a few seconds of comfort, he said, "Um, Bridgette?"

"Yes?" she said as she parted from him.

"Befur I, uh, get involved in anything that I doo'nt knoo' a'boot... what's an orgy?"

Bridgette sighed, then leaned up to his ear and began whispering. As she continued, Ezekiel's eyes went wide, his mouth dropped, and he gasped.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Too much information, Zeke?)**

**Ezekiel** - \with wide eyes\ "Oh my... do people actually _do_ that, eh?"

**Bridgette** - \wiping a tear away\ "I hate it how I lost it back there... thank God for friends."

* * *

The four teenagers were seated in the cabin again, now that Bridgette calmed down. Ezekiel, however, was continuously glancing at Izzy.

"So what are we going to do to pass the time?" Bridgette asked. "Since, um, Izzy's first suggestion is kind of out of the question?"

"Awwwww," Izzy and Cody pouted.

"Well, what are we going to do fur food and water, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"I have a couple Nalgene water bottles in my stuff," Bridgette said. "Both are full, I think."

"I've got some sodas and snacks with my stuff," Cody said.

"I... got nothing, eh," Ezekiel admitted.

Izzy patted his back. "Do not feel bad, my Zeke. I have some much better than that."

"What do you have, eh?"

"I've been stealing from Chris and Chef's stash of real food for weeks. I've got a whole lot of stuff, from marshmallows to watermelons to a turkey!"

"You smuggled a turkey?!"

"Yep," she said, nodding proudly. "I could make a great sneak-thief! I once managed to steal the globe from my grade school class! But then I felt bad and put it back."

Bridgette sighed, then smiled at Izzy. "Well Izzy, I don't eat meat, but I am glad you stole from Chris."

* * *

"Man, where is that turkey?" Chris asked, looking in the fridge. "We had a whole turkey, all ready for eating!"

"We had a real turkey?" Chef Hatchet asked. "Oh well, I'm sure it's somewhere. It's not like someone could steal it."

Joel shrugged, twirling a wrench around his finger. "Well, now that the turkey talk is over, we now have nothing to gobble about."

Chef Hatchet blinked, then sat down and took off his shoe and sock. "Well, I have this weird blight on my pinkie toe. It's been there for a couple days, and it's getting bigger. Plus, it's turning funny colors like lime green and royal purple."

"Oh no no no," Chris shouted, covering his ears and closing his eyes.

"By the horrors at the beach party," Joel wailed, "why, why?! I'd rather be stuck out there with the campers!"

* * *

The four campers burst out laughing, Cody looking embarrassed and delighted at the same time.

"And then," he continued, "after my mom caught me putting on a bra, and she didn't know it was dress-up for the biography report, she then noticed... that I was wearing high heels and lipstick as well."

Izzy fell down laughing, pounding the ground with her fist. Bridgette and Ezekiel were also laughing, clutching their sides. Cody scratched the back of his head, chuckling.

"Well, that's my goofy story," he said. "Who's next?"

Izzy reached up. "Oh oh! I got one! Seeing we're at sea, I've got a great story! You see, I was on this ferry once, and we almost capsized because the ship started tipping over."

"What caused that?" Bridgette asked.

"It was... C'thulhu!"

Izzy let out a gargling roar, wiggling her fingers. Bridgette raised an eyebrow, Cody smirked, and Ezekiel paled.

"I saw it's gaping maw, the waving tentacles, it's evil aura practically in the air... you can taste it," she hissed, her sinister grin wide. "Evil tastes like rotten chicken, like the chicken Chef serves."

"That does taste evil, eh," Ezekiel whimpered.

"He was huge, immense, destructive, and all-powerful," Izzy continued. "And it was this orangish-black color... ooo, like that!"

She pointed at the window, and the four saw a very large, octopus-like tentacle raise up from the ocean water. It raised high into the air, and came down, snatching a seagull that had a soda pop wrapper wrapped around it's neck.

"Ooo, C'thulhu claims another victim," Izzy crooned, clapping.

"That's just a really large octopus," Cody pointed out. "Wild."

"I had no idea they got that big," Bridgette observed. "That's quite incredible."

"Izzy loves the Great Old Ones," the redhead cheered. "What about you, Ezekiel?"

She looked back, and didn't see Ezekiel where he once was. Looking around the cabin, she finally spotted him in the corner, hunched up and shaking terribly.

"Zeke?" she said, walking over to him. "You don't have to punish yourself, get out of the corner."

"Are you all right, Ezekiel?" Cody asked.

"C... C... C...," he whimpered. The prairie boy looked sick with fear.

Bridgette was soon over by him, gripping his shoulder. "Ezekiel? What's the matter?"

"C'thulhu," he managed to choke out.

"It was just a really large octopus, dude," said Cody.

"Is Zeke afraid of octopi?" Izzy asked. "I like plain pie, I just don't know about sushi-"

"No, you don't understand, eh," the prairie boy cried out, gripping his toque. "I read H.P. Lovecraft when I really young, and the thought of C'thulhu..."

He bit his knuckles, his eyes wide with fright. "I couldn't sleep fur a month because I was scared to death C'thulhu would rise from the depths and destroy everything and everyone, eh!"

Izzy stared at the scared boy. "Oh my. C'thulhu as a phobia. I... don't think that has a name."

"Zeke dude, relax," Cody suggested. "It's just an octopus."

But Ezekiel was lost to them, paralyzed with horror. Bridgette continued to hold his shoulder, looking at her friends for help.

"Um... let's try talking about something that'll keep your mind off C'thulhu," Izzy suggested.

"What would that be?" Cody asked.

"Sex!"

Silence.

"Or pie!"

"I'll go for the former," Cody said, excitedly.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I actually like the latter.)**

**Cody** - \shrugging as he looks at the camera\ "What? We're alone! It'd be nice to talk about it with people my age, since I don't really have friends at school... and I'd rather have one of my robots tear my ears off than discuss my desires with my parents.

"You know, there doesn't go by a day when I think about Gwen or Beth smiling, I mean _really_ smiling... but now it's only for... Trent and Justin... boo hoo hoo, why?" \He breaks into tears, takes a deep breath, then shakes it off.\ "No! Mustn't cry! I _will_ find a girl one day!

"Let's see... Eva and Sadie are still single... but if I want to ask out Sadie, I have to deal with Katie and, most of all, Noah... and if I want to ask out Eva, I'll probably need plate armor to survive if she feels otherwise..."

**Ezekiel** - \swallows hard\ "C'thulhu... my stomach is doing flip-flops at the thought... I could do with some pie, eh..."

* * *

"So...," Chef Hatchet said, twiddling his thumbs, "want some pie, Joel?"

"Sure, dude," the inventor said, taking a slice of cherry pie and helping himself. "Say, this is rather good!"

"Thank you."

"Store-bought?"

"Yes, actually... hey!"

Joel chuckled as he swallowed. "Well, as exciting as watching us eat pie may be, I doubt our viewing audience will enjoy watching it."

"I have a solution!"

Chris came out of his trailer. He was wearing tight pants, no shirt, a peace medallion, and a headband. "Chris Maclean is... Lord of the Dance!"

As the music started up and Chris started up the dance routine, Chef wailed in pain and smeared pie in his eyes to block the sight out.

"Screaming skulls above," Joel remarked, his eye twitching. "He's... he's... actually not that bad." 

* * *

"So have you and Heather got to second base yet?" Izzy asked Ezekiel.

This managed to snap Ezekiel out of his horrorstricken shock, though he was still wide-eyed and gaping. "Wha... what?"

"Izzy," Bridgette groaned, shaking her head, "what is your fascination with finding out about the progress of other peoples' love lives?"

"It's fun," she replied. "I don't ask everyone about their love lives though, I've never asked Cody."

"Well, that could be possibly because of the simple fact that I don't have one," Cody said, smiling proudly. Then he blinked and frowned, "Wait, why am I acting proud about that?"

"None?" Izzy asked, rounding on the tech-geek. "What about Gwen? I found her bra in your cabin last season."

"That was just her helping me win a bet with Owen."

"What about Beth? I heard she kissed you."

"That was when I was in a body-cast and she accidentally knocked me off the Dock of Shame with that."

"Must have been some kiss. I heard you actually touched _base_ with the head cheerleader during a snow day."

"No, I accidentally hit her in the _face_ with a snowball. No one talked to me for some time over that."

"Why, she couldn't take it?" Izzy chuckled. "What a wimp. Cheerleaders are wimps."

"They are not," Bridgette replied.

"They are too! What's the point of cheerleaders?" Izzy began to sway her hips, then did a few inappropriate thrusts. "They just are there for guys to stare at and wish they could get to any base with, since the girls think that about the sports players!"

The surfer girl was frowning at Izzy, while Cody chuckled nervously.

"Lindsay is a cheerleader," Bridgette said.

"Who?" Izzy tapped her chin, then nodded. "Oh right, the blond girl with the big rack who cannot remember anyone's name?" the redhead recalled. She elbowed Cody and said, "You could hide a small dog in that, eh Cody?"

Bridgette covered her mouth with indignity, while Cody chuckled nervously more. "I... really didn't notice," he muttered.

"You 'didn't notice'?" Izzy cackled. "Oh, come on! If I had boobs like Lindsay, I would always have a place to hold my drink!"

The other three, even Bridgette, laughed despite themselves. Izzy plopped down on a bed, and sighed.

"You know what? I miss Owen," she said abruptly, staring down at the ground. "I miss how loving and friendly and positive he is."

Bridgette nodded at her friend, sighing as she thought of her own boyfriend. "I miss Geoff. I miss his enthusiasm, I miss his humor, I even miss how he says the wrong thing when he's struggling to say the right thing."

"I miss Heather, eh," Ezekiel said, crossing his arms. "I... knoo' you all doo'nt like her much, but I really think she's changing, and I really wish I could be with her, eh."

The other three nodded, the two girls sighing and looking up at the ceiling. Cody poked his fingers together, feeling left out.

"I miss...," he started to say, then groaned. "Oh, who am I kidding? I don't have anyone."

"You'll find someone one day, Cody," Bridgette said. "I mean, sixteen is still pretty young. My mother was twenty-five when she had her first boyfriend."

"My parents met in college, eh," Ezekiel said. "Dad was studying in engineering, but when he met my mom, he eventually changed his major so he could be a teacher too, eh."

"My father was eight when he had his first girlfriend," Izzy said, then frowned. "Oh... that doesn't help, does it?"

Cody nodded, then sighed. "I just... I never..."

"What's the matter, tech-boy?"

"I never thought I would be discussing my love life with three teammates I haven't had much chance to talk to until now, while we're drifting on the ocean in our cabins."

"Me neither," Izzy replied, "but I actually know Ezekiel pretty well. He slipped me the tongue."

"I did not, eh!"

Ezekiel held his hands up in defense, trying to ignore Bridgette and Cody's giggling.

"Oh come on, we're alone here," Izzy said, grinning at the prairie boy. "No pesky cameras recording our every word, no chance anyone will walk in or overhear us!"

"But I never stuck my tongue in your mouth, eh!"

This made Bridgette and Cody laugh more, and Ezekiel was starting to blush very red. Izzy grinned wickedly, running her tongue over her lips. "You sure? I think I remember you doing that, my Zeke."

"Oh, why must you torment me, eh?"

"Because it's fun!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It is kind of fun.)**

**Ezekiel** - "I only kissed her once because she saved my life, eh! ... And well, I accidentally groped her, but that was purely accidental. I wonder if she's mad at me over that, and she's trying to make me feel guilty over it, eh..." \He stares at the ground, looking sad.\

**Izzy** - \smiling happily\ "Ezekiel is so cute when he's nervous. Owen, hon, you know I love you, but if you ever push me in front of another serial killer, real or not, I'm going after Ezekiel! Rawr!"

**Bridgette** - "Poor Ezekiel doesn't get it when girls are teasing him. Still got a lot to learn about girls. Then again, he managed to charm Heather, what do I know?" \She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.\

* * *

The afternoon wore into evening, with Izzy joyfully tormenting Ezekiel. The conversation managed to change many times, but despite it being over school, future careers, plans with what to do with the ten thousand dollar prize, or their friends and family back home, Izzy managed to change it back to her kissing Ezekiel that one time.

"Is that a highlight of your life now, Izzy?" Cody teased.

"Oh maybe. I think the best highlight of my life would be, sorry Ezekiel, but it would be when I discovered the Loch Ness Monster!"

"I would think your best moment was when you kicked the crap out of that serial killer," Bridgette pointed out.

"That too."

* * *

Joel sighed as he watched Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet doing the cancan. "Guys, this is fascinating, really," the young inventor grumbled. "However, I'm gonna go to the confessional cam."

"It washed away during the rain storm, dude," Chris said between kicks.

Joel rolled his eyes, then turned to the camera. "See, folks? This is what happens when you don't plan out your reality TV shows. You're stuck with something like this... which explains how America's Next Top Model got on the air."

He sighed and looked up at the night sky. "Wow. Night already," he said as he glanced over at the radar screen. The two blips were closer to the island, but still a distance. "This is actually... the vaguest challenge we've ever done."

The young inventor looked at the camera again. "**I mean, what are the teams? How do they win this contest?**

"**Who will be the next camper to go: Bridgette, Izzy, Cody, or Ezekiel? How will that be decided?**

"**And much more of watching Chris and Chef do the cancan will we have to take until we throw up all over the place!?**"

The host and cook stopped doing the cancan, curtsied, and started doing _ballet_.

"Oh-ho-ho-noooooo," Joel howled, "it's gonna be really soon. For the love of Zap Rowsdower, cut to something else. Anything!"

* * *

A lone raccoon in forest sat on a rock, picking its nose. It suddenly noticed the camera and squeaked in horror.

* * *

**Part 2 will drift towards you all eventually. Because if two cabins and an outhouse can, a continuing chapter will too.**

* * *

--

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Too weird for you all? Not enough action? There will be next chapter!

Oh, I've written another one-shot, in case some of you didn't notice. I sure do enjoy shameless advertising. \glee\


	50. Day 19, Part 2: Kraken Smackin'

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. We'd love to take credit for writing this, but we have to give Chuck Norris credit for that; we don't know why.

Friends O' Mine belongs to Bowling For Soup and their recording company.

* * *

**To Everybody** - Seems everyone liked Izzy being a little perverted. Cool.

**Warning! Warning!** - This chapter contains a lot more sexual humor than normal, more than the previous one! If you don't like that, you have been warned.

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 50 (Day 19, Part 2)** - Please Shoo, C'thulhu

* * *

Ezekiel snorted as he woke up. It had been hard to fall asleep when the cabin kept going up and down, no matter how lightly.

"_Wonder why rocking the cradle helps babies, eh_," he thought.

He moved slightly, and felt something was coiled around his stomach. Then he realized something was pressed against his back. It was warm, it was breathing, and those things coiled around his stomach were its arms.

"_... Did I do something last night I doo'nt recall last night,_" he managed to think despite his spinning head, "_... like get married?_"

The being that was snuggling him from behind let out a happy sigh in its sleep, and growled just as soothingly. This someone was obviously female, he could guess that much despite having just woke up.

"... Gulp," he swallowed, his eyes wide now.

"Mmmmm...," the mysterious spooner hummed, then propped herself up with her elbow. "Morning, handsome."

She kissed his cheek. Looking back at this incident, Ezekiel would be ashamed of himself that he first recognized who the woman was by the feel of her lips rather than her voice.

"Izzy?" he whimpered.

"I-z-z-y, I-double z-y," she sang lightly, "I'm Izzy... don't ask why, dun-duhn!"

"... Can I ask why you're snuggling me, eh?"

"Because you were scared, silly."

Ezekiel sat up, very slowly because he was still dizzy and not feeling very well; the rocking cabin had upset his stomach in his sleep.

"Um... I was perfectly okay when I went to bed last night, eh," he pointed out.

"You weren't when you were asleep, though," she said, her arms still wrapped around his stomach, her cheek propped on his shoulder. "You talk in your sleep, Zeke."

"I... I do, eh?"

"I would know, I snuck into your cabin many times when I was looking for the jellybean smuggler. You mumble and babble a lot."

"Oh great," he moaned, rubbing his forehead. "But that doesn't explaining why you're sleeping with me, eh."

"Don't say it like that," she said, shaking a little with giggles. "I was snuggling or spooning you."

" 'Spooning' me?" he asked, his eyes really wide now.

"That's what I was doing, ayup. It's when someone snuggles their body to fit yours perfectly from behind."

"Oh," Ezekiel said, shaking his head. "I... didn't knoo', and was thinking of something different, eh."

"If it involved real spoons, then you're really silly, my Zeke."

"Izzy, you _still_ haven't said why you were snuggling me... or why you still are."

"I was snuggling you in your sleep because you were terrified, and I'm snuggling you now because it's really cold," she explained, then added, "Duh."

Ezekiel shivered, actually noticing the cold now, and it was _really_ cold. Being out on the ocean was freezing, and the cabins did not provide much shelter from that.

He wrapped his arms around himself, over Izzy's arms. As he tried to adjust, he chattered, "B-b-but... how could you have knoo'n I was scared in my sleep?"

"Zeke, have you not been listening to me? You talk in your sleep. You were whimpering, 'C'thulhu' and 'don't let him devour me, eh', as well as shaking."

Ezekiel hung his head in shame. "Great... I made myself a real wimp in my sleep."

"Izzy doesn't think you are a wimp. Izzy know many wimps, mostly cheerleaders, you aren't one," the redhead said, tightening her arms around him. "You are comfy, and brave in the face of death here."

"Izzy," he started to say, then stopped. "Wait, face of death 'here'?"

"Of course. You do know that there is a chance we are going to die out here?"

"No, we're not, stop exaggerating, eh."

"I don't. Izzy's not afraid to die, she is just afraid others will be."

"Izzy, you have to have faith. Man up, eh."

The prairie boy slapped his hand over his mouth after saying this. Expecting Izzy to explode and hit him, he winced in preparation. Instead, she started laughing.

"You're so funny, getting so tense when you think you've insulted a girl. You'll learn that it's inevitable; you'll offend us one day, whether you mean to or not, so don't walk on eggshells all the time."

Ezekiel sighed, and nodded. "Okay, I'll remember that, eh."

"Izzy wants you to be happy, because this bad situation is worse because of her."

"Doo'nt blame yourself."

"No, I should. I stole the cameras. I overheard Bridgette, she's scared for her life, and that she cannot say good-bye."

Ezekiel looked over at the surfer girl. She was sleeping peacefully in the bottom of the bunk bed, her breathing steady. Cody, on the top bunk, was also as tranquil.

"We have to be brave, Izzy, for their sake as well as 'oors, eh."

"Yes, yes we should."

"Now, as much as I appreciate you being nice, could you let go of me?"

"Awwww, but you're so comfy."

"Izzy, I have a girlfriend, eh."

"You're not being unfaithful just because someone is snuggling you for body warmth. It's frickin' freezing, don't you know?"

Ezekiel sighed, then he relaxed and put his hand over hers. "Okay okay, just promise me one thing, eh."

"Not to mention this to anyone, especially Heather? Got it."

"No, but please do that too. Just please doo'nt act like we're going to die or perish anymoo'r, eh. Keep the faith, at least for Bridgette and Cody's sake."

"Can do, my Zeke, can do."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - It was frickin' freezing out here all night!)**

**Ezekiel** - "I doo'nt think I'll ever understand Izzy, at least not completely, eh. She has a good heart, but she is just is so wild and unpredictable that I cannot really interpret her at times. But hey, as I said, she has a good heart, eh."

**Izzy** - \singing\ "_Sleeping late but we're not lazy_

_Getting older but we're still crazy_

_I'm so glad that I have these friends o' mine!_"

* * *

After Bridgette and Cody woke up, the four teenagers were outside after a quick breakfast. While the surfer girl, the redhead, and the home schooled teen were on the Killer Bass patio, the tech-geek was on the roof.

"I don't see why you're doing that," Bridgette called up to Cody. "I doubt you could see any land via binoculars."

"These are high-tech binoculars, the kind they use on real ships," Cody answered as he scanned the horizon. "They can see for miles."

"Wow, that's neat," Izzy gushed. "Why do you have them, though? Were you expecting to be floating on the ocean in cabins?"

"No, I didn't think that," Cody said with a laugh. "I just have them because I'm a technology lover."

"And for the girls' shower?"

"I don't do that! And why would I need long distance to peek in the girls' shower? These things don't have x-ray vision."

"Well Cody the Peeping Tom," Bridgette teasingly shouted, "if you do find land, what are we going to do? It's not like we can guide these cabins towards it."

"True, but I think you all will be pleased to know land is right straight ahead of us."

Bridgette and Izzy looked forward, the surfer girl leaning over the balcony. "Are you sure, Cody?" she asked.

"Yep. And we won't have to worry about setting up rescue signs or bonfires."

He slid down the roof, and managed to grab the edge, doing an acrobatic flip down onto the patio. Izzy clapped as Cody continued to say, "It's Wawanakwa, dead ahead."

"Really?" Bridgette exclaimed, her face lighting up.

"Positive. The Dock of Shame and the Boat of Losers, both in shambles, are there."

"We're going to be all right then!"

Bridgette was so excited, she hugged Izzy and Cody. "Zeke, we're going to be all right," she repeated.

"Hurk," was his reply, as he was vomiting over the side.

The blond surfer went over to rub his back, while Izzy shook her head. "Poor guy's not used to traveling by cabin, he's a little seasick."

"I'm a little urpy too," Cody admitted. "I don't take that many cruises."

"We'll have to change that," Izzy said, thumping his back. "With Chris's lack of imagination, he'll offer more romantic cruises as rewards. Then you can get your Code-Miester on with a woman of your choice!"

* * *

"I'm getting good at juggling," Chris said, beaming proudly.

"Yes, Chris, magnificent," Joel said, not looking up from his book. "Maybe one day, you'll be able to juggle two of them."

"Don't rob me of my joy!"

Chef Hatchet sighed. "I'm getting really sick of waiting for those maggots. Chris, where is that Climate Organizer R-4000?"

"In the trailer." Chef went in said trailer, and came out with the machine. After looking at the controls, which were clearly labeled, he grabbed the main lever.

"Chef, what are you doing?" Joel started to say, then the large cook cranked the lever almost all the way to the other side.

The young inventor let out a scream of, "GREAT DEADLY MANTIS, NO," and dive-bombed towards the machine. Pushing the lever back to where it was, he glared at the cook.

"What do you think you were doing?"

"Just speeding up the winds, wrench boy."

"For the love of the mole people, do you have _any_ idea how dangerous it can be to pick them up that high?!" Joel was sputtering mad, waving his hands in the air.

"But he only had it at that setting for a few seconds," Chris pointed out.

"That doesn't matter," the young inventor snapped. "It'll still cause a mini-storm for the campers out there."

"Then they receive a great big push," Chef muttered, shrugging. "They can be here by evening."

"Joel relax, nothing bad will come of this," Chris said, waving his hand.

The young inventor put on a hard hat, then struck himself on the head with a wrench. "Why don't you just say, 'What could possibly go wrong,' or 'How could it get any worse'?"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Or "this'll only take a second".)**

**Bridgette** - "You'd think I'd be more relaxed at the sea. But no, this was about as relaxing as walking on coals."

**Cody** - "If I win this contest, I think I'll buy a cabin like these. It'd be neat to live at sea like that. I'd just have to stay within wi-fi range."

* * *

The sky was blocked out by thick gray clouds. Thunder roared, lightning flashed, rain poured down. The cabins and the confessional can were rocked by rolling waves, tossed up in the air every now and down.

"Izzy! Cody! Are you two okay over there?" Bridgette shouted to the other cabin.

"We are," Izzy called back. "Boy, what are the odds a freak storm would happen right when Cody and I went over to our cabin to get some things, huh?"

"I blame her," Cody shouted. "She said, 'this'll only take a second'!"

Ezekiel clung to the railing, heaving violently over the side. It was more dry heaving, because he had been throwing up for some time.

"Take care of my Zeke, Bridgette," Izzy shouted. "Let's get indoors until the storm blows over!"

Bridgette nodded, and helped Ezekiel indoors. Though Cody didn't need it, Izzy helped him indoors too, in the girls' side.

Slamming the door shut, Izzy shook herself off. "Well, Cody, we must stick together. This storm cannot last that long."

"Izzy, stop jinxing it, please," he pleaded, clasping his hands together.

The redhead scoffed with her wild grin on her face. "It's time, handsome, for us to become warriors during this time."

"Wh-why?"

"Because we must fight this storm! You can be the technology warrior, you have all your stuff over on this side!"

"Wait, why's it in the girls' side?"

"I smuggled it over," Izzy admitted. "I wanted to browse the internet last night."

"But... it's not water proof, I don't like the idea of taking it outside."

"Then think of a new class! I'm gonna be the Amazon!"

Izzy dove towards her stuff, and started rummaging through it. Cody ducked as a hammer, a kitchen sink, and Groucho the Duck were thrown over her shoulder.

"Izzy dudette," Cody said as he put the duck on the top bunk. "You cannot really fight a storm, you have to wait it out."

"Waiting it out is for wimps," she declared. "There, I am ready!"

Izzy faced Cody, and the tech-geek's eyes went very wide. The redhead had a feathery headdress on that red hair, she was clutching a wooden spear with an iron blade, her legs were covered by tan leather pants with red straps tied around them, and she stomped her thick leather boots.

None of this was the reason for Cody's wide-eyed stare. The more alert of readers might be aware that what Izzy was wearing on top was not described. That is because Izzy _wasn't_ wearing anything but the headdress from the waist up.

"Izzy, your... um... you are...," Cody sputtered, pointing at Izzy's chest.

"What?" she asked innocently, then she looked down at herself. "The Amazons always fought bare-chested! Haven't you ever seen those ancient paintings?"

Cody didn't answer for reasons that should really be obvious.

"Like all warriors, male and female, they went to battle with little armor, just their raging spirits and weapons and loincloths, but I didn't have a loincloth, so...

"Hey! Cody!"

"Whuuuu?"

"Were you picking your nose? It's bleeding! You're also red in the face, are you okay?"

"Heheeeeeee..."

"Cody, you need to focus! We're going to battle! BATTLE!"

At that instant, lightning flashed, and Izzy saw something outside that made her eyes go wide too.

"It's C'thulhu," she shouted, pointing her spear at the window. "C'THULHU!!!"

Cody managed to tear his eyes away towards the window, though his eyes couldn't widen any further. A couple large octopus tentacles were thrashing above the water, then splashing back down.

"Now it's official," Izzy growled as she held up her spear. "We face a mortal enemy. This is like the second-to-last boss in a video game. You know video games, right Cody?"

Cody's eyes and mind were trying to focus on two points. His hormones were trying to win over his common sense, which is very much how all teenage boys live their life.

"C'mon, Code-Miester," she exclaimed, then grabbed him in a bear hug and squeezed him close for enthusiasm. "We're gonna slay C'thulhu! Think of the loot he'll drop!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - I thought Amazon was a river?)**

**Cody** - \He wipes away a little bit of blood from his nose with a kleenex.\ "I was thinking back at that moment. Looking back to that part of the challenge, and all the things that have happened to me during Total Drama Island and Comeback... I... I...

"LOVE this contest! I am _so_ glad I signed up for this show! WOOHOO!!"

* * *

Ezekiel wiped his mouth, then looked over at Bridgette. "Thank you, eh."

"It's no problem. You feeling any better?"

"A little. But the rocking isn't helping much."

She nodded, and then thunder cracked. The cabin, as if on command, bucked to the side. The surfer girl barely moved, she was used to the ocean's rocking. Ezekiel was not, and he nearly lost his balance.

Bridgette caught him, and she tried to steady him. The cabin bucked again, and they fell down, Ezekiel on top of her. He pushed himself off of her, accidentally banging his head against the bed side.

"Ow! God...," he moaned, rubbing the sore part, "I really want to be back on the prairie, eh."

"You just don't have your ship legs yet," Bridgette said with a smile, helping him up. "C'mon, let me help you."

"Can't I just lie doo'n for the rest of the trip, eh?"

"No, no, no! I never really got to teach you surfing, this is good practice."

She stood behind him, him facing the window, and put her hands on his hips. "Now, try to focus on what direction you will be swaying, and focus on that direction as well as resisting it."

He nodded, taking deep breaths. Managing to resist a couple of the cabin sways, he lost balance and nearly fell over, if not for Bridgette catching him.

"Oh, Zeke," she said, then chuckled. "You're in my arms again. What with me and Heather and Izzy, you sure are a player."

"Doo'nt call me that, eh."

"Something wrong?"

"Cody told me what that meant. I doo'nt like the idea that I'm some kind of woman-user, eh."

"Wow, that's just like my mom. Old-fashioned," she said as she helped steady him on his feet again. "She loathes how people use 'pimp' and 'player' as compliments."

"Well, it's just that it makes me feel bad, like when I think a'boot how I really blew it that first day on TDI, eh," he admitted. "I'd rather think you and Izzy were my friends."

"We are. I was just teasing you, just like Izzy does. So stop acting so glum! I prefer you being upbeat."

"Okay, Bridgette. Soo... ree..."

He stopped. His entire body locked up for a second, then he started to shake. Clinging to Bridgette, he pointed at the window.

"C... C... C...," he stammered.

The large, orange, octopi tentacles lifted up and splashed back down. Ezekiel started to whimper, his grip on Bridgette rather tight.

"Zeke," she strained to say, "it's okay. It's... just... an octo-"

The octopus's tentacle smashed against the window, shattering it to pieces. With suckers flexing menacingly, it slithered towards the two.

Ezekiel let out a shriek of primal fear and ran from the grasping tentacle, carrying Bridgette. She couldn't stop the prairie boy's panicked moves, as he squirmed into the farthest corner from the window.

"C'thulhu," he was screaming, "he's gonna kill us, eh! He's gonna _kill us_!!"

Bridgette looked at him: pale face, shaking hard, hyperventilating. He was going into shock.

"Zeke! Zeke, stay focused," she shouted, slapping him across the face. "It's not C'thulhu! It's not-"

She stopped when she saw the octopus tentacle wrap around Ezekiel's ankle. "Oh crap," she screamed. The surfer girl began stomping on the tentacle, but her sandaled feet weren't doing much. The octopus began to drag Ezekiel towards the window, the prairie boy paralyzed with fear and whimpering.

"Let him go," Bridgette screamed, smacking the tentacle with a chair, a suitcase, anything hard she could grab.

* * *

At the Screaming Gophers cabin, Izzy and Cody could see the head of the octopus, and the tentacle reaching inside. "It's trying to eat them," Izzy shrieked. "C'thulhu is trying to eat them! We gotta do something!"

She looked at her spear and let out a frustrated cry. "Need something bigger!"

Cody was busy with his computer, typing furiously. Panting in desperation, he picked it up, grabbed a couple speakers, and headed for the patio.

"No, Cody," Izzy shouted, "don't try to be a hero! How's a computer going to help? You going to scare him with bad You Tube videos?!"

"Stay here, Izzy," he shouted as he headed out the door.

"Cody, stop! You don't have a good history with taking on giant predators, they tend to maul you!"

The tech-geek was on the patio, staring intensively at the octopus. He pressed a few keys on his computer, jacked the volume to its highest on the computer and speakers, then shouted, "HEY! C'TUTU!"

The octopus turned one large eyeball towards Cody, and then noise blared from his speakers, over the rain storm. It was a horribly high-pitched wail, mixed with friendly music.

C'thulhu's eyes shrank in fear. It let go of Ezekiel and dove deep into the water, rocking both cabins and the confessional can but not capsizing them. A seagull with a soda pop wrapper around its neck sighed in relief, then was snagged by a retreating tentacle.

Cody let out a sigh of relief, and quickly brought his non-waterproof electronics into the Gopher cabin.

In the Bass cabin, Bridgette was holding a petrified Ezekiel. "He's gone now, he's gone," she said soothingly. He was still whimpering, not replying.

"No hope... destroyer of all life...," he rambled, clinging to Bridgette. He began to sob, burying his face in the stomach of her jacket.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - C'thulhu wears a tutu?)**

**Ezekiel** - "Man, am I glad that Izzy took the cameras from the cabins, eh. I must have looked like the biggest pansy ever." \long sigh\

**Bridgette** - "Dear God, that thing was huge! And after Zeke! That poor guy... I mean, if you thought the being that would end all life was after you personally, how would you feel?"

**Groucho the Duck** - \quacking with English subtitles\ "Damn, of all days to forget my napalm bombs."

* * *

Izzy was staring at Cody with all admiration when he came back in. "Oh wow, Cody," she cooed, "that was amazing! What was that you played?"

"It was a combination of a sperm whale's call, which I figure would eat giant octopi, and the friendly music of a sushi restaurant."

"You're such a genius!"

She hugged him, quite close to her.

"Um... Izzy?"

"Yes, Code-Miester?"

"Could... you put on a shirt? My hormones are crying for mercy."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - C'thulhu with attitude.)**

**Izzy** - "Hehe, silly Cody! I was just a girl his age with no top on while we were alone at sea with no cameras around. What could be so..."

\She stops talking. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops.\ "Oh. Oh my."

* * *

After the storm had cleared (which was remarkably fast for the four campers), they gathered up at the Killer Bass cabin again. Ezekiel still had not recovered completely, and was sitting on the bed, staring at the ground.

"I'm really worried about him," Bridgette admitted to the other two. "He isn't responding to anything I say."

"We have anything like smelling salts?" Cody suggested.

"You tried flashing him your boobs?" Izzy asked, tapping her chin. "That usually knocks a boy to his senses."

"Izzy, that's not appropriate now," the surfer girl snapped, glaring at Izzy.

"No no, Izzy's right," Cody said, looking to the side and rocking on his feet, starting to blush.

Bridgette looked at him, then noticed Izzy smiling innocently. "Just what went on over there?"

"Oh, Cody was really brave," Izzy shouted in joy. "He-"

Cody slapped his hand over Izzy's mouth. "Izzy scared away C'thulhu."

"What?" Izzy asked, muffled. "No, you di-"

"Shhhhh," Cody insisted, then dropped his voice down very low. "If Ezekiel thinks I saved his life, he might kiss me like he kissed Izzy when she saved his life, and I don't need people needling me about two guys kissing me!"

Bridgette cocked an eyebrow. "Cody, are you still sensitive about that thing with Noah?"

"Well, maybe the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because girls keep thinking of that and saying to each other, 'Oh, I hope he gets a really cute boyfriend some day'!"

Izzy and Bridgette started to laugh despite themselves, and even Cody chuckled. They all stopped when they heard Ezekiel start to laugh too.

"Cody, you're a funny guy, eh," he said. "We're going to have to get you a girlfriend next season."

Bridgette sat down next to the prairie boy and stroked his hand. "Are you okay, Ezekiel?"

"I doo'nt think I will be for some time," he admitted, "but... I'm just really happy to be alive, eh. Really, really happy."

Bridgette nodded. "I cannot imagine what that was like for you."

"Well, if he had eaten Ezekiel, he probably would have gone for you next," Izzy pointed out. "So you were on the same boat, just no phobia."

Three pairs of eyes that screamed, "Not appropriate," stared directly at the crazy girl, but she didn't seem to notice.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - C'thulhu train goes choo-choo!)**

**Cody** - "You know, someone's gotta say it, so I will.

"This was only supposed to be a three-hour tour!"

* * *

 When Wawanakwa Island was within sight, the four celebrated by having dinner in the Killer Bass's boys side. Bridgette had her surfboard, Cody had his computer, and Izzy had a bag full of stuff that the other three were just a little too afraid to ask what it contained.

"You all do realize that this'll probably be for nothing," Bridgette said as she ate some watermelon, "since Chris couldn't see what we were doing."

"Then I'm probably going to get the boot," Izzy said nonchalantly. "Oh well, I had a good run. Though no one will believe it when I tell them the story about when I saw C'thulhu."

"We'll let them knoo' you're telling the troo'th, eh," Ezekiel said, enjoying some turkey.

"Maybe he'll just call it a draw and no one gets the boot tonight," Cody mused.

"Naw, we don't have a cocoanut this time," Izzy pointed out. "Too bad, I like cocoanut."

"Me too," Bridgette said. "You know, I'd like to remember this trip more like this, how the four of us got along and stuck together. You three are all winners in my book."

"Feeling's mutual, eh," Ezekiel said, nodding.

"Shame we never got around to that orgy, huh?" Izzy mused. The other three exchanged awkward glances. "Maybe if we were really quick, like if we only did first base among each other!"

"Izzy," Bridgette said, though she was laughing despite herself, "you are something else."

"I wonder why you're earnest to do that," Cody said, chuckling. "You already flashed me and slept with Ezekiel."

Bridgette almost choked on her watermelon, and Ezekiel's water came out through his nose, hard. Cody shrugged and chuckled. "Yeah, sorry Zeke, Izzy, I was actually awake this morning just lying down, I saw it all," he explained.

Izzy shrugged, and said, "It was fun, but not exactly what girls going wild do."

"Do I get an explanation to all this?" Bridgette asked, looking at Ezekiel with a really sly smile. The prairie boy began to stammer, almost as bad as his panic attack with C'thulhu.

Cody chuckled, slapping Izzy on the back. "Let's leave her to guess, shall we?"

"Yeah, it's fitting revenge since she wouldn't let us have an orgy, huh Cody?" Izzy said, draping herself on Cody's shoulder, as the tech-geek grinned and pulled her close playfully.

"Izzy, there's no point in having an orgy," Bridgette said, crossing her arms and smirking triumphantly, "since we're going to be okay."

The cabin stopped moving suddenly, shaking the four teens. Izzy looked around and whimpered, "Oh, Bridgette! You said it, the last of the forbidden phrases!"

There was another violent shake, then it started to rock. Cody looked around, and then noticed something out the window: a very large octopus tentacle.

"Guys, it's-"

He had started to speak, but the cabin shook again as it was lifted up off the water. The door swung open, and the ugly face of the octopus was right outdoors, looking in.

Ezekiel screamed, gripping his toque and scurrying to the back. Izzy snarled and grabbed her spear from her bag of things. Cody reached for his computer, but a tentacle slithering in from the window smacked him to the side, knocking Bridgette against the wall as well.

The octopus let out a gargling growl, a really weird sound that was still quite unnerving, sending shivers down the beings that actually had spines. Another tentacle reached for Ezekiel, who was locked up in phobic-striken terror. The length of slithering orange was about to snag his ankle but Izzy stabbed it into the cabin floor.

"You never faced a redhead with a spear before, huh bitch?" Izzy shouted.

The other tentacle lashed out at her, but dodged it and reached into her bag. Yanking out a katana blade, she severed the second tentacle.

"Yeah, have fun regenerating that, sushi face," she roared. "You got six more, right? Bring it!"

Two tentacles slithered in, one by the window and one through the door. A third broke through the roof, all aimed at Izzy. She flipped out of the way, and they beelined for Ezekiel. One wrapped around Ezekiel's waist, and dragged him towards the door.

Izzy let a roar and started to chop at the tentacle. As the other two appendages swatted at her, Bridgette had recovered from her blow. She gathered her senses, then glared at the octopus. Grabbing the only item of hers, her surfboard, she ran out the door onto the patio.

The giant orange-and-black face of the octopus was huge, and its octopi eyes narrowed on her.

"Let my friends go, you monster of the depths, fiend of the ocean," she shouted.

Letting out another gargling growl, the being known to them as C'thulhu stared down the surfer girl. The water around it churned, and its severed tentacles waved around menacingly.

"YOU," Bridgette bellowed, "SHALL NOT... PASS!!!"

She swung her surfboard and struck the immense creature in the eye. It let out a pained gargle, clutching its swelling eye with a tentacle. Retracting all of its tentacles from inside the cabin (all empty-tentacled), it thrashed in pain.

With a cry that said "That hurt, you big meanie," in Octopian, C'thulhu chucked the cabin into the air behind it.

Bridgette was thrown into the cabin as it soared. There were a few seconds of suspension, then the cabin hit the ground. Knocking the four campers around inside the cabin, it bounced a couple times then it to a halt.

The Killer Bass cabin had landed right where the Screaming Gophers cabin used to be. Groucho the Duck, observing the whole event through Cody's hi-tech binoculars inside the Gopher cabin (still on the water), quaked in approval.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - C'thulhu got a boo-boo.)**

**Groucho the Duck** - \quacking with English subtitles\ "That was a well-thrown cabin, it has to be a record! Though he was the enemy, you have to admire him."

* * *

Inside the flung Bass cabin, Bridgette moaned and shook her head. She didn't realize where she was, but at least she was lying on something soft.

It took a couple seconds, but she suddenly realized that the soft thing under her was Ezekiel. Gasping, she grasped his shoulders and looked into his panic-stricken eyes. "Zeke? Zeke! Are you okay?"

He took a few deep, whimpering breaths, looked into her green eyes, and then seized her in a tight, appreciative hug.

"Oh Bridgette," he said, sobbing from fear and utter relief. "I doo'nt care who overhears this now, but I really, really love you, eh."

Bridgette was astonished at first, then she hugged him back.

"Izzy overheard it!"

The redhead, dangling on the top bunk of one of the beds, was looking down at the two and giggling. "Zeke, you sentimental romantic! Relying on women to save your skin from Great Old Ones, then hugging them."

Cody moaned, peeping out from a mess of food, blankets, and Bridgette's surfboard. "So... are we there yet?" 

* * *

The four campers walked out of the cabin, all woozy and dizzy still. They saw the Screaming Gopher cabin and the confessional can drift onto the shore, resting comfortably.

"Nice touch," Cody said, clapping. "If only we had that smooth a landing."

"That was a really wild ride you guys had!"

They looked around to see Chris Maclean, Chef Hatchet, and Joel approaching them. While the host was clapping and the cook was laughing, the young inventor looked very concerned.

"Do any of need medical help?" he asked, looking them over.

Bridgette looked at Ezekiel, who shrugged. "I think we're all fine, eh," he said.

"You guys really had us worried," Chris said. "I mean, since there were no cameras in the cabins, we didn't know if you guys were going to do anything interesting! But that cabin being thrown by the large octopus! Wow!"

Bridgette glared at the host, her fingers twitching. The other three noticed this, and guessed that if the surfer girl had her surfboard right then, Chris would have been whacked.

"We're exhausted, because we had to work really hard to keep the viewers interested during your vacation," the host continued. "But we'll manage to stay up and active for the marshmallow ceremony tonight."

The four teenagers groaned, and Chris tut-tutted them. "We still have to vote someone off."

"We doo'nt even knoo' who the teams were, or what we supposed to do, eh," Ezekiel declared.

"I'll let you know that later, dudes. What I'll let you know how is that the judges are Chef Hatchet, myself, and Joel. We'll vote in just a few minutes."

"Wait, what?" Joel said; this obviously was news to him. "Me vote? I can't vote! I'm going to be a contestant next season!"

"Too bad, dude. Looks like you're going to make a mortal enemy tonight," the host said, laughing. "That's gonna be rough for you, bra."

Joel sighed, shaking his head. "Oh, by the thing that couldn't die, this is not gonna end well."

Chris continued to laugh, as did Chef. The four campers glared at the host, who smirked and shrugged at them. "What? I have to keep myself amused. You four were no help, being lost at sea with no cameras or adult supervision."

Bridgette's eye twitched, and she started to stomp towards Chris. Ezekiel grabbed her shoulder and shook his head; she sighed in defeat.

"Yeah, it was really great that you left us unsupervised with no cameras," Izzy said, smirking evilly, "considering we had a lot of wild sex out there at sea."

There was silence, accompanied with openmouthed staring. Chris broke the silence by stammering, "Wh-wh-what?"

"Oh, yes, lots of it," Bridgette said, crossing her arms and nodding. "We had a lot of sex out there, since we all thought we were going to die and had nothing to lose."

"C-c'mon guys, stop it," Chris said, chuckling nervously. "You're joking, right?"

"Wish we were, since it was all unprotected sex, eh," Ezekiel said, turning up his hands and shrugging. "No protection to be had 'oot there, you knoo'."

"We're going to have some daddy drama if either of the girls get pregnant," Cody said, looking from a now-panicky Chris to Ezekiel. "I mean, we could be fathers in nine months."

"Though we woo'nt knoo' who is the father, either."

"You could always use the ten thousand dollars for child support," Izzy suggested.

"I suppose we could hold ourselves responsible," Bridgette said, rubbing her stomach, "but we did think we were going to die, and we were alone and scared."

"Yeah, I wonder what our parents are going to do," Cody said. "My mom, being a respectable lawyer, has always been against encouraging teenagers having sex."

"I can imagine a lot of organizations will be furious over this, eh," Ezekiel pointed out.

"Oh yeah, think of the headlines!"

Chef Hatchet looked over at Chris, who was sweating bullets, and said, "Dude, you are some really, _really_ deep trouble."

The host let out a scream. "I gotta let the cable network president know this wasn't my planning," he shouted. "I gotta issue apologies, and statements saying we don't condone or approve of this kind of message or behavior! I gotta get my lawyers on this, just as soon as they graduate from law school!"

Waving his arms and screaming in terror, Chris bolted off in a terrified state; the four campers burst out laughing once he was out of hearing range.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Whoa, that was harsh.)**

**Cody** - "Yes! Revenge is ours! Oh, that felt really good!" \She lets out a relieved sigh, and stares up at the ceiling.\ "Man, when I watch the reruns of this season, I'm gonna loop that scene, and watch him panic, scream, and run over and over."

**Bridgette** - "I'd like to thank Harold for getting me to watch those _Lord of the Rings_ movies; that gave me the courage to take on the baelrog, I mean, C'thulhu!"

**Izzy** - "That was a lot of fun! I know the others will disagree, but Izzy loved it a whole lot. I mean, not only did I get to use that katana blade at long last, but I fought a giant monster! Just think of how many experience points I get for being in the party that defeated that thing! I wonder if it was a world first!"

**Ezekiel** - "It's so good to be alive, eh." \He takes a deep breath.\ "Whoa, it smells like the ocean in here now." \He exhales.\ "Ahhhh... so good to be alive. First thing I'm gonna do when I get home, I'm gonna order sushi, eh."

* * *

The bonfire's warmth was very welcome to the four campers, who had been cold the entire challenge. They kept exchanging looks and words, all of them anxious to find out who had won and who had lost.

Chris Maclean, cranky and drumming his fingers on the oil drum, looked at them. "After that unnecessary scare," he grumbled, "and after a very irate call from my boss, it is finally time to announce the details of the challenge."

He pointed to the plate on top of the oil drum, which had three marshmallows on it. "And also, who's not getting one of these babies."

The host walked in front of the oil drum, and jerked his thumb towards the dock. "We'll see which of you comedians walks the Dock of Shame, boards the Boat of Losers..."

He stopped, and turned around. "How's that coming, Joel?"

"It'll be ready in about an hour," the young inventor, peering over the edge of the boat, said before diving back down into the mechanics. "Honestly, you should have let me fix this while we had nothing to do!"

"Boat repair doesn't make for good TV," Chris called back, and faced the four campers again. "And the loser will leave a loser, the other three go on to the finals for the chance for two of them to win ten thousand dollars each!"

The four exchanged glances, all of them unsure as to a lot.

"Now I know you all were left in the dark over some details, but here they are now," Chris Maclean said, crossing his arms and leaning against the oil barrel. "You see, the competition was Killer Bass verses Screaming Gophers!

"Also, the competition was supposed to be a judging of how you reacted, how you behaved, and possibly who's cabin came in first. But alas, no cameras in the cabins made it impossible to know what you all did, and you all arrived in the same cabin."

The host shrugged and turned up his hands. "So even though all your actions during that trip will be known only to you, there is one bit of action we managed to catch with a camera zoomed in from the island."

A television screen came down, and after a small bit of static, a picture soon came in clear. It was when C'thulhu was lifting up the cabin in the water. Bridgette could be seen storming out, shouting at the monster, then striking it in the eye.

After some great footage of watching their cabin get hurled, the screen went black and retracted back to its original place.

"Regardless of what really went on, no matter what you did, and I won't be accepting any 'but he/she deserves it more' from you, Bridgette," the host said as he snatched two marshmallows from the plate, "you have earned your team, namely you and Zeke, immunity."

He tossed the two fluffy treats, and the two Killer Bass caught them. Bridgette looked stunned, she opened her mouth, then remembered what he had just said and sighed.

"Don't feel guilty, you deserve it," Izzy told her, nodding a great many times.

"I agree, that was awesome of you," Cody said, beaming at her.

Ezekiel patted her shoulder, and she managed to smile too.

"Alas, it has now come to this," Chris said, holding up the final marshmallow. "The last one, the final one, the one marshmallow to rule them all."

Cody and Izzy exchanged glances.

"Who's it gonna be?" Cody swallowed and stretched his shirt collar. Izzy stared at Chris with narrowed eyes and an impish grin.

"Who did Chef Hatchet, Joel, and myself vote for?"

Izzy clenched her fists. Cody drummed his fingers against his other hand's knuckles.

Chris one-handed juggled the marshmallow, looking between the two.

The tech-geek whimpered. The crazy girl growled.

The host smirked, raising his finger in the air.

The redhead leaned forward and hunched up her shoulders. The brunet began to rock back and forth on his seat.

Chris dropped his hand and swayed his pointer finger between the two.

Cody bit his finger until he almost penetrated the skin. Izzy was twiddling her fingers so fast that they almost became a blur.

Chris retracted his finger and tapped his chin in thought.

Izzy's eye twitched as she thought of several ways to mutilate Chris. Cody wiped the sweat that started to come down his forehead.

The host opened his mouth, then closed it as he glanced between the two of them.

Cody bit his lower lip and clasped his hands, shaking from anticipation. Izzy hissed air in through her teeth as she too began to shake.

Chris grinned, clicked his tongue, and opened his mouth.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Izzy."

The redhead let out a wild cry and leapt at Chris, bowling him over and sending the marshmallow flying into the air. Snagging it before it hit the ground, Izzy stood up on top of the host and cried out again, this time in joy.

"I got it! I won," she cheered. "I did it! I... I..."

She trailed off when she saw Cody. The tech-geek looked devastated, though he was looking at her standing on Chris with the faintest shred of amusement. He let out a long, disappointed sigh, then shrugged.

"Oh well," he said. "I came really close, but hey, maybe next season."

He stood up, only to be glomp-hugged by a certain redhead. "Izzy so sorry," she wailed. "I wish it hadn't been between you and me. I wish it hadn't been between any of us!"

"Amen," Bridgette said, joining in the hug. Ezekiel also joined in, and soon Cody had his three friends group-hugging him.

"Ugggggh," Chris moaned from down on the ground. "That's nice, but Cody, it's time for you to go.

"Man... I really, really should have worn plate armor for this ceremony."

* * *

Cody had his backpack on, his laptop under his arm, and a smile on his face as he walked the Dock of Shame. Ezekiel and Bridgette offered him one more hug as he headed for the Boat of Losers, which was still being repaired by Joel.

He stopped at Izzy and said, "Good luck, Izzy. You're the wildest girl I know, and I'm sure you'll go far."

Izzy looked close to breaking into tears, so she flung himself on him. Hugging him so tight that she almost broke a couple ribs in the scrawny boy, she sobbed, "I hope you do too! May you find yourself a girlfriend who loves technology and sucking face!"

Cody turned red at this comment, but smiled nonetheless. "Me too."

After Izzy released him, he leapt onto the Boat of Losers. "Gonna take a while, Joel?" he asked the young inventor.

"Oh, not really, just a few more minutes."

Cody nodded and sat down. "Hey Joel, I know I shouldn't ask, but... did you vote for me?"

The brunet inventor stopped working and sighed. "I did, but in a completely neutral way."

"Whacha mean?"

Joel pointed at an electronic camcorder next to him. Cody scooped it up and saw the voting confessions of that night.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - The revealing evidence.)**

**Chris Maclean** - "Cody is one cool frood, and I think he deserves to win this. So I vote for Izzy."

**Chef Hatchet** - "Regardless of what some would think, I have a lot of respect for Izzy. I won't let anyone who can get the best of me lose the day by random choice. Also..." \he rubs his head\ "we have a score to settle that only the finals can provide me. Hehehe... so I vote for Cody."

**Joel** - "If Chris thinks he can make this difficult for me by forcing me to choose, well, he's wrong! Though this isn't the most moral or thrilling way to break a tie..."

\He pulls out a coin, showing both sides of it to the camera to prove it's not a trick coin.\ "Heads, I vote for Izzy. Tails, Cody." \He flips it, catches it, then looks into his palm; he lets out a long sigh.\ "Cody."

* * *

Cody blinked, then chuckled. "You're right, that is anti-climatic."

"I'm sorry, Cody," Joel said, looking from the mechanics of the ship to the tech-geek. "If you feel gypped, I really am sorry."

"You think I'm gonna complain? There was no malice, and also, I'm not in a full body-cast this time around."

Cody leaned back, and pulled out his electronic game. He started to play, and Joel said, "Whoa, you have the Topaz edition of that game?"

"Yes, why?"

"I have the Obsidian edition," the inventor said. "When this boat is up and running, I challenge you to a match."

"You're on," Cody replied, grinning. "I am so gonna kick your butt."

* * *

Ezekiel, Bridgette, and Izzy walked back to the cabins, the redhead having her arms around their shoulders.

"So, soon we will be competing against each other for the ten thousand dollars, huh?" Izzy mused. "Izzy wants to win, but she really hopes for the best for you two!"

"I do too," Bridgette said, smiling at her friends.

"Me too, eh."

They stopped at the cabins and stared at them, still a little thrown off that the cabins had changed positions. Ezekiel stared at the Killer Bass cabin, and began to shiver.

"Zeke, you okay?" Izzy asked him. "You got a pine beetle on you or something? I once did, I stood still for about two hours, waiting for it to go away. I finally just grabbed the sucker and bit it. Tasted rather foul, not at all like chicken."

Bridgette looked at Izzy in the way most people do when a story like that is told, then walked over to Ezekiel. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked him.

"I... I doo'nt think I want to sleep in that cabin, eh," he said, pointing at the now-derelict building.

"Yeah, it'd be freaky," Izzy said. "Not to mention it's got a hole in the roof, a spear in the floor, a broken window, octopus blood all over, and it even smells like octopus, with a large dash of sea water."

Ezekiel nodded, then sighed. "I'm a really big wimp, aren't I, eh?"

"Of course not," Bridgette declared. "I don't think I want to sleep in there either! Izzy' do you mind if we crash your place?"

"Yay," the redhead cheered. "We can finally have a-"

"No, Izzy."

"... I was gonna say 'threesome', but fine, jeez."

Bridgette smacked her forehead, and then started to chuckle; she didn't know why, but the crazy girl's perverted jokes still made her laugh. "Oh... maybe next time, Izzy."

"Really? Thanks!"

The redhead bounded towards the Gopher cabin, doing a couple flips and jumps. Bridgette and Ezekiel walked slowly, her arm around his shoulder.

"Excited, prairie boy?" she asked him.

"Quite a lot, eh."

"Me too. Who would've thought we'd make it this far?"

"I didn't knoo' a'boot me, but I was sure you could make it this far."

"You're too kind."

Bridgette stretched and yawned. "Well, I'm ready to get some shuteye. If the challenge is not tomorrow, I think I'll go surfing. Care to join?"

"I... think I'll be avoiding the ocean for some time, eh."

* * *

**Chris Maclean** - Izzy.

**Chef Hatchet** - Cody.

**Joel** - (by coin flip) Cody.

--

Cody - 2.

Izzy - 1.

--

**Voted off List** - Owen, Sadie, Geoff, Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Katie, Duncan, Tyler, Courtney, Eva, Noah, Heather, Gwen, Harold, Beth, Cody.

**Remaining Campers** - Bridgette, Ezekiel, Izzy. (3 left.)

* * *

--

--

--

And that concludes the semifinals! It's down to Bridgette, Ezekiel, and Izzy! Which two are going to win ten thousand dollars, and which one is going empty-handed?

Sorry to all Cody fans. I love him too, and it was a hard choice, but that's the way it had to roll. Believe me, I weighed the options of the other three a lot, but it still came down to him.

Pretty soon, TDC will be over. After the final challenge, there will be a small preview of what (or more specifically, who) is to come in the sequel. Once this story is completely done, I have a couple other projects I will be doing before I begin the third AU season.


	51. Day 20, Part 1: Place Your Bets, People!

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. But you wouldn't sue us this close to the end, now would you?

* * *

**To Everybody** - You all are going emotional; cool. Now because there is an easy chapter selection, I decided not to have a chapter based on recapping the season. There will just be a quick recap before the chapter starts! I hope you enjoy part one of the last challenge of TDC! Thanks for sticking around this long, or for joining us just now and enduring all the way up to here.

If you randomly chose this chapter and haven't read anything else yet... that's rather silly. Starting at the final episode lacks subtlety, no surprises!

And now, without further stalling, on with the show!!

* * *

--

--

--

(_Narrated by Chris Maclean._)

Welcome to the end of Total Drama Comeback!

It's been a long ride, hasn't it? Let's take a brief recap of how this totally dramatic, fun and sunshine ride of giddiness, love, and best of all, hate took place:

The campers rejoined on the Dock of Shame, all with expectations and goals. After Ezekiel wins the talent show, Owen is voted off for odor and jealously reasons; he comes back as an intern for the first half of the show.

Nerds verses popular kids, the popular ones win as it should be. Sadie blows it several times and is voted off.

A teamwork-based challenge to friendly Boney Island and back leaves Cody and his team victorious. Geoff is voted off as the first step of Courtney's plan to take revenge on Harold.

Handcuffed to each other, the campers must work together again, as much they cannot stand each other sometimes. Leshawna is booted off as another part of Courtney's plan.

They are ninja, they fight ninja, and Harold leads his ninja team to ninja victory! Justin is voted off, learning a valuable lesson that one must speak as well as be beautiful.

It snows, and Wawanakwa freezes over. After dramatic snowball fights and snow sculptures, Lindsay is voted off much to the dismay of the newly reformed Tyler.

The campers take place in a painful prom, and end up kissing and dancing. DJ is voted off in the end, despite his partner being the most insane redhead I've ever seen.

Taking an animal each, the contestants have to walk a critter through the forest. Bridgette manages to ride to first place, while Trent is voted off. A carefully planned lie leaves Gwen and Cody in emotional aching... awesome drama.

Eating revolting foods, the campers are shocked when Harold collapses from an allergy attack. Katie allows herself to be voted off, and then Courtney and Harold finally confront each other.

Kart racing, and an introduction for next season's new contestant Joel, take place. Tyler crashes the karts, but Duncan gets eliminated for his involvement in Courtney's plan.

A strikers game involving lots of metal ball kicking and very painful but cool injuries ensues. Tyler, despite being the athlete, does poorly and is voted off.

The campers take on dares, challenges, and pranks created by those voted off. Courtney is voted off at the end of the day, and then the game dissolves into a free-for-all.

The campers take on dares, challenges, and pranks again, _hosted_ by those voted off! There are winners, and then there is the loser, Eva, who is voted off for being the biggest threat.

Locked in cells and told to dig out, the remaining nine campers are put through what is probably daily exercise for Duncan. Beth manages to win, and Noah is sent away due to a very painful electric fence incident.

During a scavenger hunt, Heather and Ezekiel get lost and stuck together. After bonding, the two are rescued, and the other campers send Heather packing over her rotten attitude towards them; however, before leaving, she does get a kiss from her new man Zeke.

The campers find themselves waking up in cells, having to take on the most horrendous, most terrifying, most astonishing, awesomely-torturous dares they've ever had to do. After Izzy saves Ezekiel from a real killer, Gwen is oust under a technicality.

Rocking to a live audience, the six remaining campers get their rock star alter-egos in high gear! After music, cheering, and a rocking good time, Beth and Cody win, and Harold is sent away.

Visiting the losers at Playa de Losers (or whatever the heck the name of that place is), the five campers have to rely on their friends and allies to make statues of them. After Izzy wins, the losers vote for who they want to win, and Beth gets the least amount of votes.

Sent on a jolly good ocean ride, the four campers try to cope with the dangerous situation, while Chef, Joel and I struggle under the difficult chore of keeping the audience entertained. Cody is voted off over a couple votes and a coin flip.

Now we have three campers. Two winners, one more loser.

Bridgette, surfer girl and environmentalist. She's always looked out for her friends, and managed to win a few more challenges this time; however, she still proves to be the one who pukes most on this show. A friend to all, even if a little accident-prone. Can she do it?

Ezekiel, home schooled boy of the prairie. Reforming after his parents received harsh criticism for what he said first season, he has not only won several challenges, but managed to soothe the savage huntress known as Heather. Can he do it?

Izzy... a girl who a single sentence cannot describe her. With unbridled craziness and zeal, she puts her best foot forward and promptly kick butt with it. Through a combination of wild stories, surprise props, perverted remarks and spying, she's come a long way. Can she do it?

We'll soon find out, as it is time to see which two are walking away with ten thousand dollars! On...

Total...

Drama...

COMEBACK!!

(_cue the theme song, and we're good to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter 51 (Day 20, Part 1)** - Final Thoughts, Final Challenge

* * *

Chris Maclean stands in the middle of the campgrounds, beaming at the camera.

"Thank you for staying with us this long," he said. "We're no shark jumpers, though we are shark employers!

"So before we get this contest's final challenge a-movin', we have asked the final three campers to give their opinions on several points of interest."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Opinions are so opinionated.)**

**Bridgette** - \She has a sad frown on.\ "I really cannot say I had a great time. There were so many times where I was upset, like when Geoff was voted off, or when I found out Courtney had done it..."

**Izzy** - "Izzy loved her time here! I captured a jellybean smuggler, I rocked the challenges, I managed to endure and survive, I got to smooch boys and spy on couples! It was awesome!"

**Ezekiel** - "I think I actually did enjoy my time here, eh. I made new friends, I have a girlfriend... heck, I got to kiss a few girls..." \He blushes and taps his fingers together nervously.\ "I actually never thought I would get to do that until I was a'boot... I dunno, thirty."

**Bridgette** - \She smiles.\ "But I made good friends with some of the campers I didn't think I would, and we did have some good times together! Ezekiel, Cody, Izzy, even Eva!"

**Izzy** - "Izzy kicked that jellybean smuggler's ass! Bad smuggler, no messing with my Zeke! Zeke is my boy-toy, and Heather better treat him right! Owen, babe, next season, you'd better last long! I missed you so much, I was starting to get bored!"

**Ezekiel** - "Oh man, how awesome were the campers here, eh? Bridgette, Tyler, Izzy, Harold, Cody, so many others... and Heather. Heather, I really hope to see you cheering for me, eh! I'll take you 'oot after the show to... hmmm... you like Mickey D's?"

**Bridgette** - "The food was awful, as usual."

**Izzy** - "The food was crap! No subtlety!"

**Ezekiel** - "The food here makes me want to gag thinking a'boot it, eh."

**Chef Hatchet** - "Bunch of whiners."

**Bridgette** - "What will people remember me for? I really hope it's for how I try hard, and though there were times I wanted to give up, I came back."

**Izzy** - \She is throttling Chef Hatchet.\ "Say it! Say your cooking is worse than airplane food, say it, you bast-"

**Ezekiel** - "I hope people will remember that I'm not a sexist pig anym'oor, that's all I want. Leave my parents alone, stop writing those stupid letters, eh!"

**Bridgette** - "Ezekiel is a sweetheart, I really think he can and should win this. Though Izzy is a little strange at times, I cannot help but love her too. There are times when you see that girl not just as a hyper and active girl, but as someone who cares and feels."

**Izzy** - \She is now jumping and down on Chef, who's on the ground wailing.\ "You scum bag, you purposefully fed us bad food just to be mean! This is your karma retribution!"

**Ezekiel** - "Bridgette and Izzy are two of the most incredible girls I could ever knoo', eh. If they weren't taken and neither was I... whoa wait, I might not want to be saying stuff like that. Chris, edit this part 'oot, please."

**Bridgette** - "So, all in all, the island and the challenges were pretty bad, but it was my awesome friends here that made it bearable. Maybe next season, I'll be with Geoff. Geoff! I love you, and I miss you so much!" \She blows a kiss at the camera.\

**Izzy** - \She is sitting back down, her foot on Chef's head.\ "An overall review of this island can be summed up in one word: incredible. I cannot wait to tell people at home the parts the camera missed! And Chef down here, I'll sign him up for cooking lessons as an apology."

**Ezekiel** - "Funny how this island has changed my life so dray'matically. I guess that's what teenage life is, we all are on an island in 'oor own way. We just need to explore it, and one day, leave the island for new areas in life."

* * *

After breakfast, Chris led the three campers to the Wawanakwa Lake, the large body of water on the island that was sometimes used for swimming.

"It's eerily calm today," Bridgette noted.

"What's wrong with that, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Usually, a lake is teeming with insects, frogs, turtles, all kinds of critters," she explained, "but not today. Today, it's quiet and almost barren."

"Maybe Chris filed a restraining order on them in order to clear the path for the challenge," Izzy offered.

"Okay, our three winners," Chris Maclean declared, clapping his hands. "Today is the day! I hope you're ready, as we begin the final challenge!"

He gestured to what looked like a three-way starting position, with three small bleachers set up in triangular position, and yellow lines drawn to connect the stands.

"I like the flags," Izzy remarked. She was staring at the lightly flapping flags on each of the bleacher stands: one for Ezekiel, one for Izzy, one for Bridgette.

"I'm sure you know what comes next, right campers?" the host said. "The losers are coming."

The ex-campers then arrived, walking from the Dock of Losers over to the stands. Joel was with them.

Bridgette waved at Geoff, Ezekiel at Heather, and Izzy at Owen. Chris chuckled and said, "Yes that's right, appeal to your audience. Because now they're going to pick whom they want to cheer for!"

Ezekiel had at his bleacher Heather, Tyler, Beth, Justin (holding Beth's hand), Noah, and Joel.

Izzy had at her bleacher Owen, Cody, Duncan, Lindsay, Katie and Sadie.

Bridgette had the most with Geoff, DJ, Gwen, Trent, Courtney, Harold, and Leshawna.

As the three campers smiled at their fans, Bridgette noticed something. "Where's Eva?" she asked Chris.

"Never mind that now," Chris said in a dismissive manner. "Right now, we must discuss what you three might do with the ten thousand dollars if they win!

"Why don't you start, Bridgette?"

The surfer girl scratched the back of her head, then smiled. "Well, I actually prayed to God that I would survive a few of these challenges, and promised that I'd donate half my winnings to charity if I did.

"So that's what I will do. I'll be donating five thousand dollars to a nature preservation charity, then I'll use the rest to buy me a new surfboard, the rest goes to my college fund."

"Stop being so selfless and do something interesting with your money," Chris declared, throwing his hands up. "I hate it when you campers do nice things with your money."

"Well, she's not a'boot to blow it on make-up and furs, Chris," Ezekiel remarked. "Me, I think I'll use my money fur not only college, but I want to refurnish the hoo's. Mom's been after dad to redo the living room fur years, eh."

Chris slapped his forehead. "Ugh. Saving nature, helping your parents! You two are so boring. Izzy, please tell me _you'll_ do something interesting with ten thousand dollars."

The redhead tapped her chin, then she smiled. The smile turned into a grin, then a wicked grin. She started to giggle, then laugh, and then cackled. Wild laughter ensued as she rubbed her hands together, dying slowly as she looked around at the startled stares of the others.

"I'm sorry," she said after wiping her eyes. "What was the question again?"

Chris stared, then shook his head. "Um, never mind."

The host directed the three of them into the center of the triangular area. "Now here is where you shall begin. First, you have to drink a glass of one of the two..."

He held up two pitchers. One of them was white and chunky looking, and the other was brown and black and really chunky.

"One of these is milk two months past the expiration date," he said gleefully, his grin getting bigger as he heard the disgusted cries of the teenagers. "The other one... is blended stink bug, spider, and cockroach!"

Ezekiel, Bridgette, and Izzy all looked like they were going to be sick. Izzy growled at the host.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Yicky poo!)**

**Izzy** - "I am _so_ going to get that man after this contest. I hate masochists because they hurt others, why can't they just be sadomasochists and enjoy only hurting themselves?"

* * *

"The second part of the contest will be to run towards your victory flag, the path marked by little flags to guide you to your destination," Chris continued to instruct. "If you get lost on the way, just find the flags, and you'll be fine."

"What if they cannot find the flags?" Leshawna asked.

"Then I guess they're dead," Duncan remarked.

"You will take your flag," the handsome host said, "which is guarded by..."

He wiggled his fingers menacingly, "... your worst fears!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Spiders, snakes, and public speaking?)**

**Bridgette** - "Great. If only Chris wasn't so knowledgeable of our phobias.

"You know, I really wondered where Eva and Chef Hatchet were doing this."

* * *

"The third part of the challenge will be to bring your flag back here," the host continued. "It's on a long iron pole, careful of the very sharp tip in the ground, and don't let the picture of you on the flag distract you.

"Once you get back here, just cross the line, snap the ribbon, and you win," Chris said, crossing his arms and grinning. "First two to get here win ten thousand dollars each."

"This sounds wild," Owen cheered.

"You can do it, Bridgette," Geoff cried out.

Ezekiel looked at Heather, who simply waved at him. Trying to hold back a little disappointment, the prairie boy looked back at Chris.

"Now it's time for us to begin the final challenge," the host declared, "the Triple Terror Triathlon! Time to pick your choice of drinks!"

Bridgette took one look at the pitcher full of blended bugs, and pointed at the sour milk. Ezekiel also pointed at the sour milk. Izzy went the other way and chose the blended bugs.

"Once you are done drinking," Chris said as he started to pour the drinks into (mercifully) small glasses, "you may begin the hike towards the second destination. Bridgette, follow the blue flags to the south; Izzy, follow the green flags towards the northeast; Ezekiel, follow the brown ones to the northwest."

The campers watched as Chris stepped back from the small table, three filled drinks ready. "Now... the Triple Terror Triathlon begins... ready... set...

"**GO****!!!**"

It didn't actually go.

Ezekiel, Bridgette, and Izzy stared at the glasses. "I really don't want to do this," Bridgette muttered.

"Me neither, eh," Ezekiel agreed.

"Izzy wants to throw it in Chris's face," Izzy admitted.

The prairie boy summoned his courage first, after a couple minutes of psyching himself up; he grabbed his glass of sour milk, and started to chug it. Making horrible gagging sounds and turning green, he managed to finish it. Falling down on the grassy ground, he twitched and whimpered in retching pain.

"You can go now, Zeke," Chris said, poking him with a stick.

Bridgette looked at her glass, down at the shaking prairie boy, and swallowed hard. "Chris, what happens if I throw up?"

"We all know you will, just finish the glass."

Sighing morbidly, Bridgette took it in her hands. Whimpering, she kept trying to summon her willpower.

Izzy picked up hers, and a non-blended bug leapt from the glass. Forcing down a gag, the redhead tipped the glass to her lips. She started to drink, wincing horribly.

Then it happened. Her eyes widened, and she pulled the glass away from her lips, leaving a black stain on her lips. "Say," she said, smiling, "that actually doesn't taste bad!"

She chugged it down, just as Bridgette managed to bring her glass to hers. Sipping it, gagging horribly, then forcing herself to drink it.

"Come on, Bridgette, you're the best," Geoff shouted. "You can do it, drink that milk!"

With tears coming to her eyes, Bridgette managed to finish the glass. Slamming the glass down, she stumbled away from the table, falling down on her hands and knees.

"Here comes Bridgette's Fountain of Regurgitation," Chris said, grinning. "Just like a geyser, always comes when predicted."

Bridgette heaved, panted, then slowly got to her feet. "Not...," she huffed, "this time.

"So now, I'll be off," she declared, then started to follow the blue flags to the south. Those on her flagged bleacher cheered loudly, and Geoff and Gwen followed.

Izzy finished up her drink, and then started to pour herself a second glass of blended bugs. "This would go so well with a hamburger and onion rings!"

Owen grabbed her shoulder, spilling part of her drink. "Izzy! You won, get going!"

His girlfriend stared at him with an innocent smile.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Oh, even we are going to be sick.)**

**Owen** - "And thus, I had to resort to Izzy methods to get Izzy going. I'm worried she's gonna kill me afterwards."

* * *

Owen sighed, took a deep breath, and bellowed, "MOVE!"

Izzy squeaked, and ran her way, following the green flags. "Buh-bye, fun peeps," she called out. Owen and Cody followed after her.

Heather was now at Ezekiel's side. "C'mon, home school, get up," she shouted at him. She started to shake him, but he lay there, moaning in agony.

"Man, he's in disgusted shock," Tyler remarked, poking his friend with a stick (he swiped it from Chris). "We gotta do something."

Beth tapped her lips. "What would help a man who's suffering from stomach ache?"

"Maybe the taste of something good?" Joel suggested.

"You mean like a kiss?" Justin asked.

"From his girlfriend Heather," Beth added, giggling.

"Oh great, make him sicker," Noah remarked, rolling his eyes. "You're gonna turn his stomach so hard, it'll wind up in his intestines."

Heather snarled at Noah, then turned Ezekiel onto his back. Bending down, she planted a kiss on his lips.

Ezekiel swallowed in surprise, then sat up. Heather was gagging, spitting out, "Oh, I can taste that milk!"

The prairie boy pulled himself up with a little help from Tyler. "C'mon man, move faster," the jock shouted. "The girls are already on their way!"

Ezekiel nodded, and started off. A sputtering Heather and Tyler chanting, "Move move move," followed after him. Chris grinned and posed for the camera.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And they're off!)**

**Ezekiel** - "That was the woor'st melk ever, eh! I felt like my entire digestive system was acting up, every single organ in me, right doo'n to the pancreas, was trying to get back at me fur drinking that, eh!"

**Bridgette** - "I think half of my taste buds died back there, and my tongue will never replenish them because it fears me doing that again!"

**Izzy** - \She starts to try and say something, but she belches and a small bug flies out of her mouth.\ "Wow, I don't remember eating him!"

* * *

Bridgette was running as fast as she could, but her churning stomach and dizzying head were throwing her off. She almost fell down a couple times, but Geoff managed to catch her.

"It's okay, Bridge," he said to her. "You're gonna win this!"

The surfer girl moaned, clutching her stomach. "I feel awful."

Gwen reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple antacids. "Here you go, Bridgette," she said as she handed them to her friend.

"Thanks Gwen," she said as she chewed on them, "but why you got 'em?"

"Trent's got a tender tummy," the goth girl replied. "Um, don't tell him I told you that."

"I won't either," Geoff said cheerfully.

Bridgette stopped when the flag trail ran to the trees, right into the forest. Her muscles started to lock, her phobia acting up.

"Oh boy," she muttered. "Thank goodness you two are with me."

She turned around to smile at Gwen and Geoff. Her boyfriend looked crestfallen, and her goth friend was digging into the ground with her toes.

Bridgette's face fell. "You... you can't come with me?"

"It's part of the challenge," Gwen muttered, ashamed. "Chris told us you have to go alone... because of your phobia."

The surfer let out a distraught sigh. "Sour milk, alone in the forest... what a day."

With a wave, she went in. Geoff bit his knuckles.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And she's off!)**

**Geoff** - "Man, what kind of boyfriend am I? I should have gone in there with her, she's terrified to be in the forest alone! \He starts to tear up.\ "Even though she probably would have been disqualified and thus not get the ten thousand... but... still... BOO HOO! BOO HOO HOO!!"

**Gwen** - "Bridgette's tougher than most give her credit for. I mean, I wanted to puke just from smelling that milk."

**Geoff** - "BOO HOO HOO! BOO HOO HOOOOO HOOOOOOO!"

**Gwen** - "And..." \She stops, and looks around.\ "Why does it smell like salt water in here?"

* * *

Izzy was sprinting as fast as she could, Owen and Cody barely able to keep up with her. "Izzy gonna win," she shouted, leaping in the air.

"Owen believes in her," Owen shouted, then clutched his chest. "Ohhh... Owen's heart is gonna explode!"

"Cody's legs feel like lead," Cody whimpered, then he suddenly came to a realization. "Oh no, I'm talking in third person too?"

"You two boys just need to toughen up," Izzy crooned. "See Izzy? Izzy is focused, Izzy is fixated, Izzy is...

"Ooo, look, a squirrel!"

She started to chase the gray squirrel, who ran up a tree. Izzy clawed at the trunk, barking and snapping. The small critter threw an acorn down and hit her on the forehead.

"Oh, it's on now," Izzy shouted, climbing the tree. Owen reached for her, but just missed grabbing her.

"Just let it go, Izzy," he shouted up at her.

"Quit chasing the squirrel, Izzy," Cody called to her.

"No way, I want his nuts!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And she's REALLY off!)**

**Owen** - "Boy, when Izzy focuses... she kind of does focus. On anything that catches her attention. That's why I love her, she really focuses hard on every little thing."

**Cody** - "Um, don't tell Izzy, but when she's climbing a tree, you can see her panties." \He blushes a little, then taps his fingers together.\ "Green. So cute..."

**Izzy** - "I hope the boys couldn't see up my skirt when I did that. I really cannot think of how bad that would be, it's all I can think of, and..."

\She looks down at the ground.\ "Ooo! That's shiny!" \She dives down for it.\

* * *

Ezekiel was jogging as fast as could, which actually wasn't that fast.

"Why are you running so slow?" Heather shouted. "Is that as fast as you can go?"

"They doo'nt have gyms 'oot on the prairie," he wheezed.

"C'mon, Heather," Tyler cried, shaking his fists at her. "This is your major moment of redemption!"

"What are you talking about, jock boy?"

"Be the supportive girlfriend! Be there for him!"

"I'm telling him to go, what do you want from me?"

"INSPIRATION," Tyler roared; he started jumping as he chanted, obviously having learned a couple cheerleader moves from his girlfriend. "Inspiration, rah rah rah! Give him spirit, yes you will; give him spirit... yes... don't... be a pill!"

Heather had to hold back some stifling laughs. She ran in front of Ezekiel, blocking his path.

"Okay, Ezekiel," she said, grinning slyly at him. "If you win this contest, then you know what I'll do for you?"

The queen been leaned over to him, whispering in his ear. Ezekiel's eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and he took off sprinting.

"Wow," Tyler said, admiring how fast the prairie boy was moving now. "What did you say to him?"

"You'll never know, jock boy."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And he's off on good cause!)**

**Tyler** - "Man, I still don't know about Heather and Ezekiel but... wow."

**Heather** - "You know, I was hoping not to have to do something like that. So stereotypical, so cliché... but he did look really cute when his face lit up." \She flushes slightly and looks away coyly.\

**Ezekiel** - "To tell you the truth... I didn't knoo' half of the stuff she suggested to me. But I figured it would be nice for a girlfriend to be a boyfriend, and I wanted to look excited for her."

\He looks around nervously, and then back at the camera.\ "What does 'seven minutes of Heaven' mean, eh?"

* * *

Bridgette was walking slowly, hugging herself for comfort. It was bad enough she had sour milk in her stomach, she didn't need it doing flip-flops.

"Okay, Bridgette," she said to herself. "No need to be afraid. It's not that far. You have the markers, just bear with it."

Something growled in the bushes nearby. She stopped, and watched as a brown bear stood up on its hind legs.

"Fuzzy Wuzzums?" she whimpered.

It roared. She screamed and took off running, the bear right behind her.

"Why does everything I say jinx me?!" she shrieked.

* * *

Izzy was now thumb-wrestling the squirrel, who was actually a much fiercer competitor than she thought it would be.

"Please, Izzy?" Owen called up to her. "I want you to win that ten thousand and buy... whatever it was that you were thinking of that made you laugh like that. It must be very funny..."

"Owen, I'm concentrating on this match," she called back to him. "Just be a sweetheart and make sure no other squirrels interfere.

"Okay!"

Cody sighed and shook his head. "Think she'll be long?"

"Depends on if that squirrel is the main forager; those critters always have a lot of nuts."

Silence. Crickets chirped.

"No wait, I didn't mean it like that," Owen shouted as Cody raised an eyebrow.

* * *

Ezekiel sighed as he took a breather. "This... sure is a long distance, eh," he said, panting.

"Yeah, I don't remember Chris saying it would be this long," Heather agreed.

Tyler said nothing, as he was too busy panting and gasping for air. When he slipped and fell down, Heather and Ezekiel thought it was from exhaustion, but the jock scrambled to his feet.

"The grass here is... slick," he sputtered. "Ugh, it's wet and slimy. What the hell?"

"Probably from that rain storm, eh," Ezekiel said.

Heather leaned against a tree, taking deep breaths. She winced and said, "It smells awful around here, too."

Ezekiel shrugged. "I doo'nt knoo', maybe just something died ar'oond here, eh."

"How pleasant," Heather grumbled. "Man, I cannot wait until we leave this island and never come back."

"I got five bucks that Chris drags us here at least once during the next season," Tyler remarked.

"Five bucks, is that all?"

"Well, if I bet high, Chris will see it on the footage and prove me wrong just so I lose the money."

"Yeah, he is a bastard, isn't he?" Heather said, chuckling. "Hard to imagine how a creep like him gets power."

"Maybe he just needs a girlfriend, eh," Ezekiel suggested.

"It did soothe Heather, to date someone," Tyler said with a smirk.

Heather looked at him, annoyed, but shook it off. She pulled out her nail file and began to file her nails. "So Zeke, if you win, what kind of changes are you making to your family's house?"

"I'm not sure right now, eh."

"Plumbing?"

"No, we have that."

"I thought you lived on the prairie."

"Doesn't mean we doo'nt have a toilet, eh."

"Oh good," Heather said, sighing in relief. Tyler noticed this, and cocked an eyebrow.

"What, you thought Zeke's family used an outhouse?" he asked, then his smirk was back. "Makes it all the more comfortable when you visit him, huh?"

Heather's face burned bright red and she looked away; unfortunately, the being involved in her embarrassment was right there, looking at her.

"You want to see where I live, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"M-maybe," she stammered, looking down at the ground.

"Think a city girl like you would like the prairie?"

"Probably not."

"You woo'nt knoo' unless you try." He reached up and stroked her cheek with his hand, flicking a stray strand of raven hair behind her eyes. "I'm sure you'd like it, it's beautiful."

She took a deep breath, a pleasant shiver made her shake. The girl once known for mean comments and treacherous plans was now looking, genuinely fondly, into Ezekiel's eyes. "I actually would like to see it some day."

He leaned in to kiss her.

"Zeke," Tyler shouted from where he was, startling the couple. He ran over and continued, "You have a challenge to win, remember? Flirt with her later!"

"Oh right, eh," Ezekiel stammered, looking at Heather apologetically before taking off.

Tyler smacked him on the butt, shouting, "Go get 'em, tiger! You're the tiger!"

As Ezekiel ran off, Heather looked at Tyler angrily. "Let me make a request, Tyler," she hissed, "only _I_ may smack him on the butt from now on."

"Um, fair enough."

* * *

**(Confessional Cam - And she comes out smacking!)**

**Heather** - "I cannot believe I actually had to say that."

**Tyler** - \sigh\ "Might as well accept it, Heather's now Zeke's girlfriend. She has all the rights in the world to smack his butt."

\He looks at the camera, then laughs.\ "Does that sound weird or what?"

* * *

Bridgette was up a tree, staring down at Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear in terror. She whimpered, "Nice bear... please go away. Don't eat me."

The bear growled.

"I'm really not that appetizing. I've been drinking sour milk, and my mother thinks I'm too skinny!"

The bear snarled.

"And... and... I'm a vegetarian! It would be such tragic irony for me to be eaten by animals after refusing to eat animals!"

The bear started to claw at the tree.

"Oh God, I'm gonna die," Bridgette whimpered as she clung to the trunk. "Maybe if I wait here, someone will come get me. I wish help would come now..."

Something rustled up in the trees, and a long cord of green came swinging down; it was a vine, freed from above by a couple birds flying away, afraid of the angry bear sounds. Bridgette saw it (the vine) swish past her. Though she'd normally never take a Tarzan approach to escape, she was desperate.

"Okay, no problem," she whimpered as she stood up and grabbed the vine. "Izzy does it all the time..."

She looked down at the bear, who was watching her every move.

"And if I don't do this right, like if I hit a tree, that bear will be using my bones as toothpicks," she whispered to herself. "Never fear, Bridgette, never fear..."

For the second time that day, she had to summon her courage and leapt from the tree. Letting out a yell that was half fright and half excitement, she arched through the air, snagging another vine as she swung far away from the bear.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And she comes out swinging!)**

**Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear** - \growling and grunting, English subtitles provided\ "whoa, dat was really cool"

\The door opens, swinging the camera out to show Trent holding the door open. When the musician sees the bear in the outhouse, he screams and slams the door shut.\

**Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear** - \startled\ "gee, wonder wat he wanted?"

* * *

Bridgette hit the earth when a vine swung down to the ground. She rolled several times, then lay there on the ground.

"Well... I'm alive," she summed up. "I don't think I broke any bones, I see no major bleeding... not even minor bleeding."

She sat up, and soothed out her hair. "Man though, I must be really far behind. I'll bet the other two have already won by now."

* * *

Izzy was _still_ thumb-wrestling the squirrel.

* * *

Ezekiel and Heather were kissing, with Tyler leaping and down next to them shouting.

"You can suck face later, will you get going?" he ordered his friend. "Stop smooching and start moving! And... whoa... are you giving her tongue, Zeke! Atta'boy, you da man!"

* * *

Bridgette stood up, sore but not aching. Her stomach was still churning, and she groaned in pain, clutching it.

"I'll probably never have children," she moaned. "My body will refuse to have a baby, since it knows I tend to make my insides suffer terribly."

Looking around, she saw no trace of the flags. Her phobia started to set in again, and she felt truly miserable and afraid.

"Please tell me what I did to deserve all this," she asked rhetorically as she set off in the direction she thought might be right. "Was I a killer in a previous life?"

She stopped ranting when she pushed away some shrubbery and saw her flag pole in the middle of a clearing. Her own face on the flag, standing tall on the pillar of iron that seemed to glow from the well-aimed sunlight.

"Oh well, that's a good sign," she said to herself as she dusted herself off. "Just hope I can find my way back... without fainting."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And she comes out signing!)**

**Lindsay** - "I know this is supposed to be the moment for Baretta, Lizzy, and Eric, but I just wanted to say that I've made it my mission to find Cody a girlfriend next season! Matchmaker Lindsay is on the scene! And he should be thrilled, I helped Belle get together with Justin!"

**Courtney** - "I'd like to also state that next season will be all mine, you hear me? I will dominate, and I'm sure there is nothing that can distract me!"

**Duncan** - "Watching these three compete makes me think of how much I'd love to be back in the game. That's why, next season, I'll be doing my best to kick butt and take names! Nothing will stop me!"

**Duncan and Courtney** - \They are making out in the confessional can. The door opens, and the camera reveals Noah holding the door, very startled. Courtney reaches out and slams the door shut, and the couple continue to make out.\

**Noah** - \from outside\ "Why don't you give someone else a crack at that bowl, huh? Are you listening?!"

\The couple continue to make out.\ "Fine, forget it, I'm sure your parents are going to love seeing this footage!" \Both Courtney and Duncan freeze and their eyes go wide; they hadn't thought of that.\

* * *

Ezekiel saw his flag in a small clearing. It flapped lazily in the wind, a beautiful sight to behold (if you were aiming for it, that is, it's not so glamorous when not seen as a prize, though anything really can be seen as a prize, you could take any normal object and make it priceless, they do it on TV and at flea markets and... whoa, are we digressing, sorry!)

"Wow, there it is," Ezekiel noted as he walked towards it. "There's my flag."

"It is," Heather said, then sighed. "I'm sorry, we have to go now, Zeke."

"What, why?"

"Chris said you have to face your phobia alone," Tyler said, shrugging. "Sorry, dude."

"You have to obey, I guess. See you two at the finish line, eh!"

Heather and Tyler said good-bye, the queen bee giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. Ezekiel sighed, then something important came up in his mind.

"Wait a minute, eh," he said, looking back at his two departing friends. "How does Chris know my phobia?"

The ground shook, and he felt the presence of someone in front of him. He slowly turned and saw Eva standing there, cracking her knuckles.

"Hello, Mr. Sexist," she said, her voice a terrible growl. "It's time for me to finally do what I should have done first season."

"Hey Eva, wait a minute...," Ezekiel stammered, walking backwards. "You... you knoo' I'm not a sexist, eh!"

She growled in response, walking slowly towards him. "Time to dance, Zeke boy."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And she comes out swinging... too!)**

**Eva** - "Look, I know Ezekiel's gotten past the whole 'guys are stronger than girls' thing, but hey, it was supposed to be an act! I was trying to be someone's phobia!"

**Ezekiel** - "Okay, Eva is really terrifying when she's mad and ready to hit someone, true, but she's not my phobia. Good guess though, Chris."

\He sighs and looks down at the ground.\ "Thank God there were no cameras on that ocean trip last challenge, eh."

* * *

Izzy had _finally_ won the thumb-wrestling contest with the squirrel.

"I have won the day, but I will say, you are a great competitor," Izzy declared. "I hope to challenge you again, noble nut guardian!"

The squirrel chattered, saluting Izzy with respect. She then slid down the tree and continued to run.

Owen and Cody, who were playing a card game, suddenly noticed her running again, and got up to follow her.

"Hurry, Izzy, move faster," Owen shouted. "We've lost a lot of time! Ezekiel and Bridgette are probably way ahead!"

"What?" she asked. "Oh... oh! The main challenge! I thought that squirrel was the second part! Oh crap, I'd better hurry! Waaaaaaugh!"

She bolted forward, following the flags. They went up the thousand foot cliff, and Owen was not having a fun time trying to catch up. Cody had to pull him by the hand, as the very large teenager was crawling on all fours now.

When they finally reached the top, Izzy looked around. "I don't see any flag," Izzy grumbled. "Izzy feels a trap... but I already took care of the jellybean smuggler!"

Owen and Cody finally came up the top. "Oh, the tale of woe, that of Juliet and Romeo," the giant teen wailed, "my sores are aching and my aching is sore!"

Izzy walked over to her boyfriend and began to massage his shoulders. "Please don't be sore, Owen, I need your support for this."

"I'm here for you, Izzy," he said with a smile.

"So am I," Cody remarked.

"Yeah, but if history repeats itself," the redhead girl said, "the second-to-last person to be eliminated is trying to back stab someone in the finals."

Cody looked saddened. "Aww, Izzy, you don't think I'm trying to betray you, do you?"

"Actually, no," she said, beaming at the tech-geek. "You wouldn't do that, not after that wonderful cruise we had last challenge."

"Why, what happened?" Owen asked, looking between the two.

"We larped. I pretended to be an amazon, and he was a tech-warrior. We fought C'thulhu, and got a ton of experience and reputation!"

"Wild, wish I had been there."

Then Owen farted.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And he comes out stinking!)**

**Cody** - "Yeah, if he only knew what had happened, he would've really wanted to be there."

\He sighs and looks up at the ceiling with a dreamy look.\ "Boobs... wow."

**Owen** - "Izzy's an awesome girl! I mean, she's really fun to date, but there's one major problem. She tends to exaggerate. I'm sure she wasn't dressed like an amazon, and I don't think they got that many experience points from just C'thulhu."

* * *

A terrible buzzing sound came from the sky. Izzy looked up and blanched in horror as she saw the rickety, yellow plane that Chris sometimes used to wake the campers. It landed on the top of the cliff.

A black leg wearing blue heels kicked the door open. Chef Hatchet, wearing a tight stewardess outfit, came out. He threw his blond locks back (which were of a wig, most would be pretty sure of) and glared at Izzy.

"Okay redhead," he growled, "it's time for my revenge."

He grinned sadistically. "You beat me several times, you insulted my food, and you went through my things several times; I'm also certain you stole my favorite carving knife."

"I lost my whittling knife," Izzy said, staring in fear at the plane.

"Well, revenge is mine, maggot," Chef Hatchet bellowed. "I'm gonna fly you to your next destination, where your flag is! And I remember how much you hate a shaky ride, so this is gonna be more shaky than a jackhammer!"

He cracked his knuckles, then blew on his nails, since the polish was still a little wet. "Ready, red?"

Izzy swallowed, then whimpered.

"Maybe you'd like your boyfriend to ride with you." Owen screamed in horror.

"No no no, I hate flying," he shouted in terror. He shoved Izzy towards the plane, and added, "Take her, take her, just don't take me, weird cross-dressing cook!"

He ran down the hillside, wailing and waving his arms in terror.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And he runs away screaming!)**

**Owen** - \looking ashamed\ "I've got to learn to not do that anymore...

"You know what? I won't anymore! I vow right now, right here, that I'll be braver! A better boyfriend, a better person!"

\He farts, then laughs.\ "Well... not here, at least. I'll let it all out and then I'll work to be a better person! Here goes..."

**Leshawna** - \She comes in and sits down. After opening her mouth, she closes it and her eyes water. She runs out gagging.\

**Joel** - \He has his top pulled up over his nose and mouth.\ "Why's it _stink_ so much in here? Yuck yuck yuck... in the name of Mr. B Natural, I'm getting an air freshener for this stink house!"

* * *

Izzy stared at her departing boyfriend. "He did it again," she said with a heavy sigh.

Cody came up and patted her shoulder. "I'm sure he didn't mean it. See, we're not allowed to go with you in this part."

The crazy girl, who wasn't looking very crazy right now, shrugged and walked towards the plane like one walks to the end of their life. "Fine Chef, I'll take a ride."

"Most excellent, red."

"And if I puke, it's gonna be in your lap."

Chef blanched. Cody grinned.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And she comes in heaving!)**

**Cody** - \There are about fifteen of those car air fresheners that are shaped like trees hanging from the ceiling now.\ "How can you not love a girl like that, huh? Man, Owen's a lucky guy. I'd love a girl like that. And a little like Beth, little like Gwen. Maybe a wild goth girl who's shorter than me and loves animals..."

**Katie & Sadie** - Katie - "Would you date Cody if you had to dye your hair?"

Sadie - "Oh I totally would, but you'd have to dye your hair too!"

Katie - "I'd do it for you, my BFFFL!"

Together - "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

**Lindsay** - \staring up at the pine tree air fresheners\ "Oh my, the outhouse has trees growing in it! I'll get some water to help them out!"

**Raccoon** - \looking up at the air fresheners too, chittering with English subtitles\ "holy crap, there r trees growing down frum teh sky now; if tht dunt beet al"

* * *

Izzy got in the plane and slammed the door shut; it fell off, and she winced.

"Wish you had your boyfriend right now, huh red?" Chef Hatchet said with a real dash of meanness that made Izzy want to put a firecracker in his bellybutton.

"Owen hates flying quite a bit, it would seem," she said, a little bitterly. "I wish my Zeke or Cody was here instead."

"Yeah right, those two are too good for the likes of you, red."

"Okay, that tears it," Izzy shouted, and shoved Chef out of the plane, knocking off the pilot's door. "Out, baby, out out out! I'm flying this to my flag!"

She started to buckle herself in, grabbed a helmet from the floor and put it on. Then she tapped her chin and asked Chef Hatchet on the ground, "Oh, where is my flag?"

"It's in the middle of the campgrounds, but," the cook stammered, "I thought you were scared to fly!"

"I am, terrified right down to my core," she said. "Doesn't mean I don't know how to!"

She started up the engine, and grinned evilly. "Oh and by the way, blue isn't your color, you look awful as a blond, and that skirt makes your thighs look fat!"

Then she took off in Chris's rickety, yellow plane, laughing and screaming at the same time. She shot over Cody and the treetops, doing a loop-de-loop.

"Wheeeee," she cheered. "This was _such_ a bad idea, wheeee-aaaaah! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die, but I'm gonna have so much fun while I'm doing it! AAAAAAH!!"

* * *

Chris sat down with the fans of Bridgette, tapping his foot. "So, how you guys enjoying waiting?"

Leshawna rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up, host boy. Least we're not out there fighting our phobias and whatever freak surprises you planned."

"I didn't plan any extra surprises."

The yellow plane soared overhead, Izzy's terrified cackling heard by all the people sitting down. Chris looked up and frowned.

"Chef's supposed to circle the island once," he said. "Oh well, as long as he scares her enough, I guess it's okay."

Izzy then flew overhead again, so low that all the campers and Chris Maclean threw themselves on the ground. The host gasped in terror and held his hands over his precious hair.

"How's it feel, pretty boy?" Duncan asked, grinning wickedly.

"Man, I think I'll scrap that plane to make sure it never strafes anyone ever again!"

Izzy flew over them one more time, barrel-rolling.

"Whoa, I'm doing one, Peppy," she screamed, as she went round and round. "I'm gonna throw up, all those bugs are crawling back up my throat! Wheeeee-gaaaaaah-wheeeee!"

The host watched as the plane soared off, and Chris felt it was safe to stand up. "Man, Chef's one mean guy.

"So, fans of Total Drama Comeback and present losers, how much fun are you having?

"**Who do you think is going to win? Ezekiel, Bridgette, or Izzy?**

"**Who's phobia is worst? Prairie Boy facing Eva, Surfer Girl alone in the woods, or Crazy Hose-Beast on a wild plane ride?**

"**And just what the heck WOULD Izzy do with ten thousand dollars? Would it get her back on the RCMP's wanted list?**"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And he finishes up announcing!)**

**DJ** - "I wonder why he leaves us with those questions. Wouldn't they already be on our minds?"

**Geoff** - "Boo hoo hoooooo! I'm so sorry, Bridgette! I'll make it up to you, babe, I swear it!"

**Trent** - "You know, I just realized something. This'll be the last time, more than likely, that we'll be on this island! No more crappy campground, no more bears..."

**Justin** - "No more smelly communal restrooms, no more shark-infested waters, and the air here makes my hair frizzy, and poor Beth hates the bugs..."

**Beth** - "No more trash-covered beaches, no more being woken up at five or six AM by a rude host flying a plane or helicopter! Things are finally going to be back to normal!"

**Lindsay** - \She is hosing the pine tree air fresheners on the ceiling.\

**Harold** - "What the heck's wrong with this can? Wet air fresheners dripping water, it smells like sewage and salt water, and... oooof!"

\The raccoon falls down from the roof, an air freshener in its mouth. Harold stares at it for a second, then scratches behind the creature's ear. The raccoon groans happily and leans into the scratching.\

**Harold** - \sighs\ "I'm gonna miss this place. Except for the food, of course."

* * *

**Part 2, the end of the final contest, is approaching! Who's it gonna be?!**

* * *

--

--

--

The end is near! It is nigh! It is inevitable! Place your bets, your rounds, your heads, your best of guesses!


	52. Day 20, Part 2: Winners of Wawanakwa

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. But you wouldn't sue us this close to the end, now would you?

* * *

**To Everybody** - Have you placed your bets yet?

And now, without further stalling, on with the (near-end) of the show!!

* * *

**Chapter 52 (Day 20, Part 2)** - The Moment You've All Been Waiting For, But Didn't Expect It to Go Down Like This

* * *

Chris was sitting with the ex-campers as they waited for any sign of the three finalists. Owen, Cody, Heather, Tyler, Gwen, and a sobbing Geoff were back with them.

"Bridgette...," the party man cried. "Oh why couldn't I be with you?"

"So," Katie mused, "what are you guys going to do when you get home?"

"I'm gonna eat a lot of bacon," Owen declared.

"Take a long, hot shower," Lindsay griped. "My skin is starting resemble something hideous, like the creature from the Black Monsoon."

"I'm going to see if I can find a loophole to Chris' contracts," Gwen remarked.

"I'm gonna be sitting here," Noah growled, "waiting for these three slowpokes to finally get here!"

"Don't call my Bridgie a slowpoke," Geoff bawled. "Oh, my Bridgie! What's taking you so long? Are you hurt or sick or dying or throwing up? BOO HOO HOO!"

"I think we need to cut to a quick commercial break," Chris said.

"We just got back from a commercial break," Courtney shouted. "... Didn't we?"

"But alas, we didn't let the audience see the commercial!"

* * *

_Joel is sitting at a table, looking bored. The salesman with the cheesy grin is facing the camera._

_"Would you like to relive Total Drama Comeback as many times as you can, as fast as you can?" he said in all the cheesiness a man could bear. Joel was visibly wincing._

_"Then buy the Total Drama Comeback Action Bar! It's a little add-on that allows you to select what day of TDC you want to see, and what part."_

_"That's already built into the written transcript of the show," Joel wailed, banging his forehead against the table. "Oh, I'd rather have a case of hemorrhoids than do another of these commercials."_

_"And for those of you purchasing the TDCAB, we offer the TDC Hemorrhoids Cream," the cheesy grinning salesman said, holding up a small cream case._

_Joel made the sound of a squeeze toy being stepped on._

_"It's what's best for those darn hemorrhoids of yours that are swollen, inflamed, and/or contagious!"_

_"Hemorrhoids aren't contagious! For the love of secret agent Super Dragon..."_

_"Yes, your hemorrhoids will never bother you again! You'll be hemorrhoid-free for the rest of your days-"_

_"STOP TALKING ABOUT HEMORRHOIDS," Joel shouted, shoving the cheesy grinning salesman off the screen. "It's causing me discomfort just hearing the word! There are kids watching this show, you fool, we don't want to be blamed for scarring them for live!"_

_He sighed, then turned to the screen. "Kids, if you're still curious, Google it. That is, if you can spell hemorrhoids."_

* * *

Joel let out an embarrassed groan. "I still cannot believe I agreed to do those commercials."

"I really don't want to know why they're merchandising Total Drama with hemorrhoid cream," Trent muttered.

"Stop saying that word," Courtney wailed. "I'm with Joel, it's such an unpleasant word! I feel like wailing like Geoff when I hear it!"

"Oh, Bridgette," Geoff sobbed. "We've been waiting for you for so long, and these commercials suck! Boo hoo hooooooo!"

"Geoff," Harold said, drumming his fingers together, "you really shouldn't sob. Bridgette's going to be fine."

"Then why isn't she back yet?"

"Because it's a long trek. All three of the campers have a long trek, gosh. They're all fine."

* * *

"Waaaaarrrgh," Izzy wailed as the plane did a loop-de-loop without her meaning to. "I'm so gonna die-yi-yi-yiiiiiiiii! Waaaah, Wright brothers, I hate you!"

* * *

Bridgette fled from a skunk who had apparently had a crush on her, and was following her with a smile on its skunky face.

"Stop following me-eeeeeeee," Bridgette wailed. "I don't want to be sprayed again, please!"

* * *

"Get down here so I can kick your ass!"

"No, Eva," Ezekiel shouted up from the tree. "I doo'nt want my ass kicked, eh!"

"You coward! A little ass-kicking never hurt anyone!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Boy, this looks bad.)**

**Izzy** - "I am never flying again. EVER."

**Bridgette** - "I am never going into the forest again. NEVER."

**Ezekiel** - "I wonder why Eva still hates me, eh. Or... maybe she's just like that with everyone."

* * *

Izzy screamed as she accidentally dive-bombed the plane towards the ground, near the campgrounds. It bounced off the ground once, twice, then landed upside-down and crashed into the Killer Bass cabin. The patio was smashed, and the wings of the plane were knocked off.

And from the wreck, a green-clad redhead crawled out. Izzy crawled from the twisted wreck, kissed the ground that she missed so very much, and then stood up.

"That was the most _awesome_ ride ever," she shouted, then beat on her chest and let out a Tarzan yell. "Izzy is queen of the skies, and now..."

She walked over to the center of the campgrounds, where her flag was. She yanked it out of the ground and let out another roar of triumph.

"Izzy is also queen of the earth! Now no one will take the ten thousand dollars away from me!

"... Except for Ezekiel and Bridgette. Better hurry!"

She left the sight of destruction, the upside-down airplane crashed into the cabin, behind her.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Izzy on a Plane.)**

**Chef Hatchet** - "I ain't cleaning that up." \He looks up at the pine tree air fresheners in the outhouse.\ "And I ain't cleaning this up either."

**Joel** - "Now I'm really glad I didn't let Chris talk me into using my flying machine for the challenge."

* * *

Bridgette, who had lost the skunk some time ago, almost stepped in the snare trap, her foot millimeters from planting on the ground. She threw herself back so hard, she actually fell down on her butt.

"Chris, you jerk," she grumbled. "I could have really hurt myself."

The raccoon was running back home after a long rant in the confessional can. As Bridgette picked herself up, it stepped in the snare trap and was hoisted up into the air. Chattering in rage and then fear, it started to whimper in fright.

Bridgette had a moral dilemma here. She could either waste more precious time and save the raccoon, or hurry to the finish line and win the ten thousand dollars.

About zero-point-three seconds of thinking about it, Bridgette was climbing up the tree, leaving her flag pole on the ground. "Hang out, little gray buddy, I'll get you down," she called out to him.

The raccoon watched her as she shimmied across the branch that the snare was tied to. Untying it but making sure it didn't drop, she began to slowly lower the raccoon to the ground.

"There you go," she called out.

The branch she was on shook and began to crack. Bridgette's eyes widened in fear as she heard it snap, and she plummeted to the ground with the broken branch. Landing painfully on her stomach, she whimpered and hissed in air.

"Okay," she hissed. "No... shooting pains. No broken bones... I'll be fine."

Picking herself up slowly, she looked around for her flag pole; to her great surprise, the raccoon was holding it up for her.

Smiling at the gray critter, she took her flag back, and started on her way back. The happy raccoon cheered her on.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Raccoons being nice? What's up with that?)**

**Bridgette** - \smiling\ "Who says no good deed goes unpunished, huh?"

**Raccoon** - \chattering in Raccoonian, subtitles in English\ "i wantd 2 keep flag as suveneer, but... i iz a sucker 4 blonds, 2 b honst... so purdy."

\He does a little raccoon swoon, then stares at the camera.\ "wht? u kno how hard it iz 2 find blond racoon grl?"

* * *

Ezekiel was much like Bridgette was a couple minutes ago: balancing on a tree branch. Eva was staring up at him, one of her eyebrows cocked in amusement.

"You sure are going out on a limb, prairie boy," she cracked.

Said prairie boy stopped, and smacked his forehead. "Oh Eva... aren't you ashamed?"

The fitness buff didn't react at first, then hung her head and sighed. "Yeah, a little." While she was distracted with her shame, Ezekiel leapt from the tree. Wincing at the fall, he bolted towards the flag. Eva snapped to attention and took off after him, but she was too late. He grabbed his flag pole and yanked it from the ground.

"Ha! I got it, eh," he shouted, then braced himself from the inevitable beating.

But it never came. Eva stood there, inches away from grabbing his jacket with an outstretched, frozen hand. She snarled and snapped her fingers.

"Damn it," she cursed. "I failed."

"Huh?"

"I was supposed to stop you from getting the flag, and now you have it," she explained. "Well, you're to head back to the start now."

She gave him a friendly shove, which from Eva meant she knocked him onto his back and sent him skidding a couple feet.

"See you there, Home School."

"Okay... Eva. Ow."

Eva sprinted off, leaving the prairie boy to stand up and groan in pain.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Was that supposed to be affectionate?)**

**Eva** - \shrugging\ "He's not that bad a kid."

**Ezekiel** - "Man, I hope whoever ends up dating Eva is as strong as her, eh, or he's gonna need some great medical health care!"

* * *

The ex-campers, including a grumpy Chef Hatchet and Eva (who was sitting in the Bridgette bleachers), waited patiently. Chris was done setting up ribbons in front of the three finishing lines, ones fragile enough that someone would tear them if they ran into them.

"How'd you get here so fast, Eva?" DJ asked her.

"I ran."

"But Ezekiel's not back here yet."

Eva raised an eyebrow, as if to dare DJ to continue comparing her fitness skills to Ezekiel's. The gentle giant did not.

"So...," Beth mused, clearly bored.

"We might just be sitting here for another episode," Noah grumbled.

"Would they really do that to us?" Cody asked nervously.

"I think Chris might be a Dragonball Z fan."

"\**censored**\ that," Duncan scoffed. "Anyone got a deck of cards?"

"I've got a whiffle ball," Cody said.

"Not exactly the same thing, Cody."

"Right, sorry."

"... Okay, I'm just gonna bit the bullet and ask. Why do you have a whiffle ball?"

"Not sure, really. I just picked it somewhere, and now I have it."

Lindsay tapped her lips. "What's a 'whiffle'?" she asked.

Before she could get an answer, Katie and Sadie leapt up and squealed in joy. The other ex-campers looked around to see Izzy running down her pathway, looking like she had just crawled away from a wreck (which she had).

Geoff whimpered, then something caught his eye as well. It was Bridgette, scratched up and dirty, coming down her pathway of blue flags. The party man let out a cheer that badly startled all the other Bridgette fans, and started jumping up and down.

"Go, Bridgette, go go go," he cheered.

Heather and Tyler exchanged nervous looks, staring at the pathway that Ezekiel was supposed to come down.

"What could be taking him so long?" Heather muttered. "If he's not here soon-"

"There he is," Beth declared, jumping up on her feet.

Sure enough, Ezekiel came running into view, coming around the large lake near the finishing area. His fans started to cheer and whoop; even Heather was on feet calling out to him.

Ezekiel, Bridgette and Izzy all stopped for a quick breather, as they had been running for some time now. When they looked up, they noticed how frenetic the ex-campers were becoming, and each spied the other two nearby.

"Oh man, this is...," said Ezekiel.

"... going to be cutting it...," said Bridgette.

"... really friggin' close!" said Izzy. "Right down to the friggin'!"

They took off running again, desperate to get to the finish line first. Bridgette was heaving as she ran, her legs feeling like lead. Ezekiel was rounding the lake, sweat running down his forehead. Izzy was leaping every few steps, holding her flag pole in the air proudly.

"Just a little more, Bridgette," Geoff called out.

"Go Izzy go," Owen shouted.

"You can do it, Ezekiel," Heather declared.

Izzy tripped and fell, landing on her face. As those cheering for her gasped and then shouted at her to get up, Bridgette and Ezekiel realized this was the time to pick up the pace.

The prairie boy ran alongside the lake's shore, ignoring the terrible stench that emanated from the water. There was also some mysterious bubbling going on in the center.

Ezekiel tried to ignore that too, but that was hard to do when there was a large splash. The prairie boy glanced at the splashing, and froze when he saw a large, orange, octopus tentacle rise up from the water.

"C... C... C...," he began to stammer.

The large octopus rose up from the waters, and set its eyes (one a little black and throbbing) on Ezekiel.

"C'THULHU!!!"

"Of all the guest appearances for the last challenge," Izzy shouted, "why _him_?"

"He's like a bad case of hemorrhoids," Cody cried out, "he's just not going away!"

* * *

**(Confession Cam - He's back, baby.)**

**Joel** - "My mom's a sea creature expert, so I know a little something about the giant octopus, nicknamed by scientists as C'thulhu, like Ezekiel and some of the others here have called it too.

"C'thulhu are octopi that grow to enormous sizes, and feed on large fish at the ocean. They are not bright, but they do have a fixation tendency. Once they have decided what their dinner is, they will follow that prey and try to eat it no matter how long it takes, even if they starve to death during the chase.

"I guess that's how determined this C'thulhu was. It managed to crawl across land to get in Wawanakwa Lake, because it knew this was Ezekiel's 'home.' I don't know why it has a fixation on Zeke...

"Come to think of it, we missed a lot of the warning signs. Wawanakwa Lake was devoid of other life forms, all scared away by the creature; the wet and slippery trail from the beach to the lake; and the awful smell that was left behind.

"I wonder if Chris knew about the C'thulhu lurking in Wawanakwa Lake... naw, probably not. He would've made it part of the challenge if he did."

* * *

Ezekiel dropped his flag pole, terror overriding his body. He took a couple steps back, shaking and pale. One of C'thulhu's tentacles reaches out and plucked him up.

"_No_," Izzy screamed as she stood up. "Not my Zeke!"

The redhead bolted towards the lake, where C'thulhu was lifting Ezekiel up in the air, waving him around in what seemed like an octopus's victory dance. Izzy tore through her finish line ribbon and Zeke's ribbon as she leapt at the edge of the lake onto the octopus's face.

"Let him go," she shrieked, and then stabbed C'thulhu with the pointed end of her flag pole. "I'll kill you dead this time!"

The giant octopus thrashed, trying to swat away Izzy. The redhead bounced all around his rounded head, avoiding being hit.

Bridgette had run towards the lake, tearing through her victory ribbon as she called out, "Zeke! Zeke, hold on!"

C'thulhu let out a gargling growl as it pulled out the flag pole imbedded in its head. Bridgette took this time to shout, "Izzy, catch," and hurled her flag pole like a javelin.

The redhead did catch the flag pole, and stabbed this one deeper into the wretched octopus. It roared an wet roar and thrashed some more.

"Ooo, get the camera on this," Chris Maclean told the cameraman. "This'll make awesome TV."

"You jerk, that monster's trying to eat Ezekiel," Heather shouted. "Do something!!"

"Right, like I have a can of Octopus-Away," Chris replied, shrugging his shoulders. "But I am doing something, by the way, I'm highlighting his final moments for his family before he becomes sea food."

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Chris Maclean, ever thoughtful.)**

**Heather** - "Looking back, I really should have just pushed Chris into the lake as a distraction. I really, really should have."

* * *

Heather's eye twitched. She watched in terror as her boyfriend was being waved around in the air by the giant octopus; he looked like a rag doll, yet his toque remarkably stayed on.

Tyler, also panicking, noticed Ezekiel's flag pole lying on the ground. Running over, he picked it up, shouted, "Izzy! One more," and then threw the pole like a javelin...

... straight into the ground.

The jock winced and tried to pull it out, but he had imbedded it too deep into the ground. He strained to pull it out, with Heather and DJ helping him. When they finally managed to get it out, Harold picked it up.

"Harold, what are you doing?" Heather shouted, staring at the lanky nerd. "There's no way you can-"

"Izzy," he called it out. "Catch it and slay the Great Old One!"

He hurled with Olympian precision, and Izzy barely managed to catch it. With a furious cry, the redhead plunged the final flag pole into the octopus.

C'thulhu let out a roar, thrashed about, then shivered. With a sad little gurgle, it went wobbled unsteadily, and then sank down. The tentacle waving Ezekiel around let go of him; he fell into the water, as did the limp tentacle.

The mighty sea beast known as C'thulhu was dead. It bobbed in the water lifelessly, its tentacles splaying out.

Izzy, not spending time to boast or pose (unusual for her), leapt into water after Ezekiel. She resurfaced holding the prairie boy in her arms, and carried him to the shore.

"Is he breathing?" Bridgette asked, running to her fallen friend's side.

"I don't know," Izzy said, "so I'll give him mouth-to-mouth."

"Wait wait wait," Heather shouted, grabbing her shoulder. "You aren't his girlfriend, I am! I'll be giving him mouth-to-mouth!"

"I give better mouth-to-mouth!"

"You just want to put your lips on his, and that won't fly by me!"

"You're just jealous because I'm a better mouth-to-mouther than you!"

"Why you... psycho hose-beast!"

"Spoiled rich witch!"

"Um... girls?"

Ezekiel sat up, looking at the two arguing girls. "I... I am conscious, I doo'nt need any mouth-to-mouth, eh."

Bridgette hugged her friend as Izzy and Heather stared. "I thought we were going to lose you for a minute there," she sobbed as she clung to her friend.

"I almost became sea food, ayup," Ezekiel said, then glanced at the dead C'thulhu. He shivered and added, "He's still not any less terrifying dead, eh."

"But he is dead, never to eat my Zeke again," Izzy declared, then glomped her friend, knocking him to the ground.

"Hey get off him, you crazy girl," Heather shouted, pulling Izzy off. "He just nearly became lunch, don't kill him right after he was just saved!"

"I was the one who saved him, I get glomping rights!"

Chris stood over them, chuckling. "Zeke, congratulations, I'm sure we can get you on that nature show that shows those wicked scenes where animals attack humans."

"That's just peachy, eh," the prairie boy replied sarcastically.

"We actually send a lot of footage of Total Drama to them, they love us," the host continued laughing.

There was silence for a few seconds, then Noah asked the question on everyone's mind.

"So, are we continue the contest, or what?"

Ezekiel looked at his flag pole, embedded in the dead C'thulhu. "Um, I really doo'nt want to get my flag back from there, eh."

"Doesn't matter," Chris said. "You see, while Ezekiel was busy playing with C'thulhu, we had a couple other people cross the finish lines in their attempts to save him. So...

"_I declare Bridgette and Izzy the winners of Total Drama Comeback!_"

The group of campers went wild, and crowded around the two girls, who were both in shock.

Izzy yelped as Owen lifted her up and onto his shoulder. "Izzy won," he shouted, the biggest of smiles on his face. "Izzy won TDC! Izzy wins the ten thousand dollars!!"

Bridgette was seized by a very happy Geoff. "You did it, you did it," he chanted, then lifted her up and twirled her around. After the shock wore off, she began to cheer and laugh too.

Ezekiel hung his head and sighed, utterly defeated. His toque, which had managed to stay on during the attack, fell off and into his lap. "Stupid octopus," he muttered

Heather hugged him from behind. "I'm so sorry, Zeke," she said, "that was completely unfair. We outta kill Chris."

"Yeah, damn that host and his stupid technicalities," Tyler shouted. He picked up a rock and hurled it at the dead, giant octopus (missing it). "And that stupid 'C'hulu'!"

Beth, Justin, Noah, and Joel were also by Ezekiel, trying to comfort the one they had cheered for. The prairie boy looked up at them and brushed his bangs away from his eyes.

"Oh, I guess it's not too bad, eh," Ezekiel admitted. "I did my best. I do not have any regrets, eh."

Heather picked his toque on his lap, and put it back on his head. "You really amaze me, Zeke; you're such a weird guy at times, accepting defeat."

"I really cannot be that upset, eh," he replied. "I'm alive, and two of my friends won."

Bridgette and Izzy hugged each other, shouting in joy. Their friends around them cheered and pumped their fists in the air.

"We won, we won," Izzy shouted. "Izzy, Warden of Nakwa, Tyrant of the Sky and the Earth, C'thulhu Slayer, has won!

"... Man, is my title getting long! Maybe I'll call myself IWNTSECS!"

The surfer girl nodded and jumped into the air. "I cannot believe it! I actually won! I never thought it possible!"

"I always did," Geoff declared, then took her in his arms again, and gave her a passionate kiss. Bridgette melted into it, holding her boyfriend.

Owen, not to be outdone, picked up Izzy and kissed her too. The redhead swooned, and after she was released, she gave Owen a sly smile.

"I'm still a little mad at you for ditching me at the plane."

Owen winced, and said, "Errk, I'll make it up to you?"

"You'd better, Owen," she said, then giggled and kissed him in return.

Bridgette managed to separate from making out with her boyfriend long enough to get to Ezekiel. She smiled sympathetically and said, "You okay, Zeke?"

"I think I will be, eh," he said, patting Heather's arms which were wrapped around his chest.

The blond surfer patted his shoulder. "You did well, and just between you and me, I would have given you another chance at this since that stupid octopus interfered."

"Least I knoo' it's dead, and not coming after me anym'oor."

Bridgette would have said something else, but Izzy jumped on her back. "We win," the redhead shouted. "Victory goes to the girls! I'm ten thousand dollars richer!

"Izzy gonna buy herself some D-cups!"

Silence. Crickets chirped. The dead C'thulhu bobbed in the water, and a squirrel poked it with a stick.

"I'm just kidding!"

The cheering resumed, and Izzy and Bridgette were lifted into the air. The two winners of Total Drama Comeback were the happiest people in all of Canada.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - And that's the game!)**

**Ezekiel** - \sighs, then shrugs\ "Maybe next season, eh."

**Bridgette** - "I cannot believe I won! I'm so happy! Though it would have been a little nicer to have won without one of my friends being in mortal peril... but you know, I guess it's always going to be something like that on Total Drama."

**Izzy** - "Izzy number one! Izzy number one! Izzy..." \She stops and ponders.\ "Though about those D-cups... naw, I'd hate to get back pain! And it's hard to snoop around on the ceiling when you got two volleyballs in your shirt!"

* * *

**(Later that day, at the Bonfire Ceremony.)**

The large bonfire raged as it normally did, casting a warm glow on the scene. Everyone was seated, Bridgette and Izzy at the front. The two exchanged happy glances as they waited for Chris.

"What's taking that man so long?" Bridgette mused.

"Maybe he's re-gelling his hair?" Izzy asked.

Ezekiel scoffed. "There's enough gel in his hair that one day, they'll find fossilized mosquitos and clone dinosaur DNA from them, eh."

Izzy laughed, then she hugged Ezekiel (much to Heather's chagrin). "Izzy sorry you didn't win, Zeke."

"Oh, it's okay," he said, shrugging. "Maybe this is the final bit of karma from what I said first season."

"Don't be silly. Although," Izzy tapped her chin, "you did just lose to a couple _girls_. A couple hot, skilled, and victorious _girls_."

The other campers began to laugh, but it wasn't about what Izzy said. Ezekiel and Izzy heard some loud clanking sounds, and turned to see Chris Maclean dressed in a full suit of plate armor. The two burst out laughing along with the others.

"Yeah yeah, go ahead and laugh," the host said as he lifted up the visor, "but I know you kids by now, and I'm not taking any chances."

"You look ridiculous," Chef Hatchet said, chuckling.

"Seriously dude," Joel said, "I could have ordered you a riot shield or something."

The host cleared his throat, and his visor slammed shut over his face. Groaning in annoyance, he propped it back up. "And so, after twenty campers have been eliminated," he began to announce, "after twenty challenges have been past...

"Through strife and agony, panic and puke, anger and one wild octopus slaying," the host then held up two marshmallows, one in each hand, "I give the final marshmallows to our winners, Izzy and Bridgette!"

Izzy snatched hers and gobbled it down. Bridgette stared at hers for a few seconds, then ate it too. The twenty ex-campers cheered as the two girls pumped their fists in the air.

"Ten thousand dollars, all mine," Izzy boomed. "Woohoo, the only redhead prevailed! Minorities everywhere rejoice!"

"I cannot wait to get my new surfboard," Bridgette mused.

"Well done, you two," Joel said, clapping his hands. "What are you going to do next?"

Bridgette giggled and shrugged; however, Izzy was rubbing her hands together wickedly. "Oh, Izzy have good idea what," she said, an evil grin spreading across her face.

Before anyone could react, Izzy dashed over to the host and pushed Chris over, knocking him on his back. With a pained cry, the host could only watch as Izzy hovered over him.

"Remember _these_, Chris Maclean?" she said.

From behind her back, she held up two pitchers: the pitcher of extremely sour milk and the pitcher of blended bugs.

"Oh no no no no," Chris started to chant, attempting to get away but the very heavy armor weighed him down.

"Oh yes yes yes yes," Izzy chanted back. With the cheers and encouraging words from the other campers (and Chef), she sat down on his chest and opened his visor.

"Down the hatch," she cried out before pouring both the sour milk and bug juice on his face. After both pitchers were empty, she slammed the visor shut and shook his helmet around a little.

"BLARGH!"

Chris wailed and thrashed. The incredible revulsion that seized his body made him bolt upright, knocking Izzy off. With more wailing and gags, the host managed to run down the Dock of Shame, and jumped off.

The teenagers all burst out laughing. "Serves you right, you evil man," Heather declared.

"Um...," Bridgette said, tapping her fingers together, "I don't think he can swim with that armor on."

"My God, you're right," Eva shouted. "Quick Chef, go save him!"

"What?" was all the large man could say before Eva picked him up and threw him in the water where Chris had sank. The cook sputtered for air, then dived.

He walked back on the shore, dragging Chris onto the beach. He removed the helmet, and saw that Chris was whimpering.

"Milk... bugs...," the host whimpered, "my... hair."

Chef scoffed. "You nearly drown yourself, and all you care about is your hair? Get your priorities right, pretty boy."

"What a wonderful ending," Gwen mused among her fellow laughing campers, "for such an awful camping experience."

"Makes me wonder how much fun we can have with him next season, huh?" Duncan asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Makes me wonder if he'll try to get back at us," Bridgette mused.

"He can try," Izzy cackled. "Oh-ho, he can try."

Owen smiled and hugged his cackling girlfriend. Geoff wrapped his arms around Bridgette's waist. Ezekiel pulled Heather to him, and winked at her.

"Think we're going to have fun next season?"

"There's going to be forty-four of us all competing. It's going to be twice as long, possibly twice as painful, and we both just might get the boot right off the bat."

"Well then, think we can torment our kind and loving host moo'r next season, eh?"

Heather did a perfect imitation of Chris's voice as she said, "Yes. Yes, we can."

Ezekiel laughed, and kissed his girlfriend. It was truly a romantic scene with the full moon glowing above, the bonfire's warm glow, and Chris sobbing on the beach about his hair.

* * *

**(Confession Cam - Final words!)**

**Owen** - "Wow! Izzy won the game! That's so... so... awesome! I wonder if she can win again next season! Is that legal? Will it be allowed?"

**Sadie** - "The season was a lot of fun to watch, but next one, Katie and I are going all the way! And maybe I'll get a boyfriend, eeeeeeee!" \gasps\ "What if it's Cody?"

**Geoff** - "I'm gonna throw Bridgette a massive celebration party, the biggest one I've ever thrown! That's my girl! The gorgeous babe of skills, God I love her!"

**Leshawna** - "The two girls are something else. Though next season, little ol' Leshawna's gonna be coming out on top."

**Justin** - "Impressive job by Bridgette, and I gotta say, I even admire Izzy on her handling that giant octopus. I didn't like being eliminated so early on again, but now that Beth and I are dating, I think I have to say it's been a good run."

**Lindsay** - "I'm _so_ happy for Gidgette and Lizzy! They really did prove themselves out there! They might even get on the cover of _Star Stalker _magazine!"

**DJ** - "Way to go, girls! I think this is a happy ending after all. I... I..." \He stops and begins to sniff.\ "I promised myself I wouldn't cry... aw, what the heck!" \He bursts into happy tears.\

**Trent** - "Bridgette and Izzy, the winners. Who'd've thunk it, huh? Well, I'm sure Bridgette will make good on her promise to be generous with her prize money... wonder what Izzy's doing with it."

**Katie** - "Did you see the way Izzy killed that beast? It was all..." \She starts swinging an invisible weapon all around, imitating a lightsaber.\

**Duncan** - "Sweet finish, man. Like something from a movie, though usually the big strong hero saves the princess from the beast. I think my princess and I will be doing better next season, though."

**Tyler** - "Man, I was hoping for Zeke to win... but Bridgette's cool, and I guess Izzy is too! Next season though, I'm gonna go further, and I'm gonna win however much money it is!"

**Courtney** - "Wow, what a finish. Bridgette's so incredible, I don't know if I could donate half of my money to charity... but no matter! Next time, I'll be the one on top."

**Eva** - "Hmmm, I could have done that, kill that octopus. Would have only taken one flag pole too, maybe even with my bare hands. Still, rather impressive of Izzy. I'll have to find another Great Old One to kill to catch up with her."

**Noah** - \He is laughing.\ "Did you see that? Izzy gave him the facial treatment from Hell! Oh man, what a wild finish."

**Heather** - "I'm not sure I want to go through another season. I'm sure Gwen will try to get revenge and try to break Zeke and I apart. And I have my concerns about Izzy." \She sighs.\ "Maybe I shouldn't try to think about the negative. At the least, I ended this season with a full head of hair..." \She flushes a little.\ "... and a boyfriend."

**Gwen** - "Oh that Izzy. I wish I had thought of that. Well, another season of drama, bad food, and evil challenges is over. Makes me dread next season." \sarcastic\ "I'm sure it'll be _just_ as fun, as fun as a case of hemorrhoids."

**Harold** - "Season three approaches now! My mad skills will not fail me this time! I cannot wait to see who comes as well!"

**Beth** - "This season was sensational! I have a boyfriend, I got rid of my stupid braces off, and I did so much better! What if..." \she gasps\ "... what if I _win_ next season? Oh, that would be _so_ great!"

**Cody** - "Well, I did my best. No girlfriend, but no serious injuries. So I'm cool. Maybe I'll get some respect from the kids at school now. If not, well, I don't care. I got friends here."

**Ezekiel** - "Can I say that I enjoyed this season? Yes, yes I can, eh. I made awesome friends, I made amends, I have a girlfriend, I couldn't ask for anything m'oor. It was incredible, despite the numerous attempts on my life by killers and giant octopi."

**Bridgette** - "I still cannot believe I won! I mean, it's so awesome! Ten thousand dollars... well, five thousand... actually, when I think of it, I'm not really spending that much because of charity and college. But still... I won! I guess that makes all I endured worth it."

**Izzy** - "Izzy is so proud of herself! She won ten thousand dollars! While I'm not sure how I'm going to spend the money, I do know one thing..."

\She ducks down, then stands back up with an apron that says "Kiss the Cook." She is holding a carving knife and a long prong.\

"Izzy's got a lot of octopi to cook up! Sushi or fried, I'm gonna be eating like a Japanese princess for months! Nothing's more delicious than the taste of victory... with soy sauce!!"

**Raccoon** - \chattering with English subtitles\ "i am realy gonna 2 mis dose guys"

* * *

Fuzzy Wuzzums was eating from a bag of marshmallows as the raccoon ran by. The bear tossed him one of the fluffy treats.

"wht we gonna do now tht they leevin us?" the raccoon asked in Raccoonian.

"dat I dunt no," Fuzzy Wuzzums replied in his bear language, "butt maybe Chris renew owr contracts"

"Youguysgotcontrats?" the squirrel asked in Squirrelish. "Man, youguysarelucky."

Sasquatchinakwa shrugged, and said in his Gruntalot language, "guess its time to muv on, eh; I heer they arr lukin for new talent on Canada's Next Model Grrl"

"oh teh talent iz en teh boobs, evurywhun nos dat," the raccoon replied.

"I don't know about you mammals," Groucho the Duck quacked as he tapped his magnum revolver against his shoulder, "but I'm gonna be following those recruits, and continue to monitor the situation."

He flew off, and the four animals watched him depart.

Fuzzy Wuzzums scratched his head, and asked, "y is duck smartest uf us?"

* * *

**Part 2 done, as is the story. Stay tuned for Epilogue.**

* * *

--

--

--

And there you have it! Izzy and Bridgette won Total Drama Comeback!

This is the way it's been planned, ever since the beginning, but do not think your comments have been no influence. Because of requests, comments, and compliments, some things did change. Like Noah and Katie, for example.

Now I'd like to start thanking everyone...

**But this story isn't over yet!**

Coming up is the epilogue, and I'm not skimping on that. We'll get some last remarks and actions from our twenty-two campers, as well as a sneak peek at some of the new wild and crazy characters that will be joining them next season!

Oh, if you're wondering why I had Ezekiel lose, that's just the way it rolls. And no, it had nothing to do with who's been voted off in TDA, I had the winners planned long before TDA started.

So don't remove this from your chapter alerts, because the epilogue is going to contain some sweet moments, completely hemorrhoid-free.


	53. Epilogue: Final Words, New Competition

**Disclaimer** - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction.

* * *

**To Everybody** - Sorry to all the Ezekiel fans out there. I wanted him to win too, but this was how the story was to go.

And now, without further stalling, on with the end of the show!!

* * *

**Epilogue (Last Day, Only Part)** - The New Enemy Seen On VHS and DVD

* * *

Playa de Losers was quite busy. The campers, soon to no longer be called campers, were busy chatting and enjoying each others' company. In about a week, they would all be going home.

About six months later, they would be reunited again. Most, however, wanted to spend as much time with their friends as possible.

Noah was doing Shakespeare for Katie and Sadie. Though the two girls could barely understand him, they were listening with rapt attention. Katie swooned a few times, even to know-it-all rehearsing Brutes' decision to betray Julius Caesar.

Duncan and Courtney had elbowed Bridgette and Geoff out of the hot tub, and now the two were making out heatedly in the heated water. The party guy was now hanging with DJ, trying to get more information about his girlfriend at home, while Bridgette was hanging out with Gwen and Trent.

Harold and Leshawna were chatting up a storm, the lanky nerd happily sitting on her lap. Cody sat nearby them, studying Harold's methods; he figured Harold would be the closest thing to him, except that the taller nerd was successful in getting a girlfriend.

Owen was pigging out on the buffet. Izzy was chowing down too, but she disappeared after a few minutes; he didn't notice, since there were more raspberry donuts.

Beth was sitting on Justin's lap, exchanging little kisses on the lips and sharing stories about home. Justin felt embarrassed that he didn't have a lot of interesting stories, since most of his stories about modeling. Beth had loads of stories, about school and her farm and some crazy things that happened at her family gatherings.

Tyler was trying to show off to Lindsay how he had improved in hackey-sack. The blond beauty was impressed, even though Tyler had to chase after the little ball after the majority of his juggles.

Eva was lifting barbells, occasionally glancing at the others. Whenever she glanced at Cody, she looked away and frowned as if accused of liking him despite no one noticing.

Chef Hatchet was cooking (or, to be more specific, burning) some hamburgers. Joel was assisting him, trying to point out most people wanted theirs medium-rare or well done, not immolated. Chris was not anywhere around the pool.

Ezekiel was leaning back in a pool chair, smiling happily. Most people would think he'd be upset after losing out on ten thousand dollars; however, there was something that was cheering her up. A ravenhaired girl was curled up on his lap, nuzzling his shoulder.

"So Zeke," Heather purred, "you will text me when you get home, won't you?"

"I will, eh. But there are a coo'ple things I need to do first."

"What?"

"To get a cell phone, and then send you the number, eh."

"You don't have a cell phone?"

She started to laugh. Ezekiel rolled his eyes and said, "What, did you forget that I doo'nt need one?"

"Everyone needs a cell phone. People cannot live without one."

"I've managed, eh."

"Well, you live at home, you're home schooled, so I guess there's a reason. Not like weird goth girl or the fitness gorilla."

Ezekiel sighed. "Heather, we have to work on your niceness, eh."

"Zeke, I'm never going to be friends with the rest of these people. Especially not Gwen. I'm sure she'll try to break us up... since I tried to do that to her."

"You could apologize."

Heather sighed. "I don't think I'm ready to try that yet, Zeke. I know things are changing, but the goth girl and I will always be at odds. And I'm sure next season will not make it any better."

The prairie boy pulled her close to him. "Heather, um, babe, you never knoo'. I mean, look at the changes you and I undertook."

"That's a little different, home school. You changed me, but I doubt you could make Gwen like me, or me like her, eh."

Ezekiel started to chuckle. "You said 'eh'! How much time have you bin spending with me a'geen?"

He pulled her close and started to kiss her. She swooned, loving the affection that she never thought possible. The queen bee managed to pull herself away, and smiled at him.

"Let me go get you a drink, my prairie boy," she said with a sly smile, getting help. He smiled right back, and rather enjoyed the view of her in her bikini as she strutted away.

"She's not allowed to say that!"

Ezekiel yelped as Izzy popped up behind him. The redhead looked furious. "How dare she call you, 'my prairie boy'! I've been calling you 'my Zeke' for much longer!"

"Izzy, doo'nt sneak up on me like that, eh." "But I like to surprise people! It's fun!"

Ezekiel sighed, then leaned back in his chair. "You knoo', I never have asked you what you're doing with your prize money, eh."

"Fifteen Mystery Science Theater 3000 box sets, Total Drama Island and Comeback on DVD, some candy, a puppy, Wii video game console, games, props and costumes for when I want to dress up, another tranquilizer gun, a kaleidoscope, a jar of macadamia nuts, maybe a cheap car, college funds and books, and then I'm gonna go to Disney World!"

She leaned up close to Ezekiel and whispered into his ear, "And I might take you with me."

"Izzy," he groaned. "We're both dating other people!"

"But I wanted to get you something since you didn't win because of that stinky octopus," she protested. "Okay then, I'll be mailing you a present then!"

"What?"

"You heard me. I want to do something for my good friend!"

She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Just remember, Zeke. If Owen pushes me towards something terrifying again, and if Heather doesn't treat you right, I'm coming after you."

And then she was gone. Ezekiel looked around, and sighed. "I doo'nt think I'll ever get that girl, eh."

Bridgette was walking nearby him just then. "Me?" she asked, pointing at herself. "Heather? Who you talking about?"

"Izzy."

"Oh, well, that makes a lot of sense."

The surfer girl smiled. "No one will ever fully get that girl, Zeke."

She sat down next to him, smiling. "So, high hopes for the third season?"

"Did someone say third season?"

Chris Maclean walked out of the hotel towards the pool, holding a DVD in his hand. Heather had returned from the beverage cart as the host caught the attention of everyone. The queen bee stared at Chris angrily as she sat down on Ezekiel's lap again.

"Something wrong, Heather?" the prairie boy asked her.

"I don't trust him one bit. I really, really hope he's not planning anything."

The host heard this, and he laughed. "No, nothing this time, Heather."

Ezekiel put a protective arm around Heather's waist. They, along with Bridgette, watched Chris suspiciously.

"We had a great season," the handsome host declared. "We had all kinds of pain, excitement, action, terror, puking, talent, and two lovely winners! Izzy, Bridgette, congratulations!"

"Thanks, Chris," Izzy shouted, popping up right behind the host and scaring him badly. After patting his chest to comfort himself, Chris continued.

"You two enjoy your ten thousand dollars, you've earned it. But next season is going to make your prize look quite puny, though I won't say until it starts.

"And as you know, we have twenty-two contestants joining! That's right, we are going to have forty-four contestants!"

The campers chatted among each other as Chris twirled the DVD around his finger. "And we have here, the audition tapes of ten of your new rivals, friends, and possible mortal enemies for next season!"

Chef pushed an entertainment cabinet on wheels next to Chris, one with a large flat-screen and a DVD player on it. The host put the disc into a DVD player, and hit Play.

"I should let you all know," Chris said, "that our first audition is by our helpful fixer-upper, Joel!"

The twenty-two campers cheered and whooped, as Joel nervously scratched the back of his head.

* * *

**(Audition Tape #1 - Joel.)**

Joel stands in a garage that had been modified to look like a work area. Many tools and spare parts were littered about. He stood there, his brown jumpsuit and hair were terribly stained with oil and soot.

"Hi there," he said to the camera. "I'm Joel. I know that being an inventor isn't quite the stereotype you're looking for, but I can be quite useful. I can repair, I can fix, I can even create some things on the set! What's a reality show without a creative inventor?

"Here, look what I made a couple weeks ago!"

He lifted up something looked a lot like a leaf blower. "It's a leaf blower," he said. "But! It's quiet, and it doesn't pollute! Here, watch!"

The young inventor started it off, and instead of a very loud engine roar, it was a pleasant hum. Joel wiggled his eyes at the camera.

(_Static cut._)

Same place, Joel is holding up a little device that looks like a calculator. "Here's a handy device for sports fans. It calculates all the players' skills, history, and stadium stats! It's good for any sport, from curling to hockey!

"Just don't ask it who'd win between the Red Sox and the Cubs-"

The little machine makes a lot of beeps, shakes, smokes, and then explodes. As the smoke clears, Joel, coated in soot, coughs out some smoke in his mouth.

"Man... wish I knew how to make it not do that."

* * *

**(Audition Tape #2 - Jasmine.)**

Jasmine, Leshawna's friend from the video message from home, is posing for the camera. She's popping her hips, giving come-hither looks, pursing her lips, and clicking her tongue.

"Will you get on with it?" the camera operator, who sounded a lot like Leshawna, snapped.

Jasmine jumped, nearly flipping off her rimmed buret. She straightened out her silver necklace, and said, "So, who should I be, Leshawna?"

"Say what now?"

"Well, should I be the preppy girl? The serious one? Oh! How about I be the flirty one?"

The brown-skinned girl winked at the camera and swayed her hips. "Hi, I'm Jasmine! I'm an actress from-"

"Jasmine, how many times do I have to tell you?" Leshawna called out. "Total Drama is a reality show! You play as yourself!"

"No no no, Leshawna, I am an actress! I," she said as she dusted off her shoulders, "am a performer! I must show off my skills as someone with a personality over the others."

"You saying no one on Total Drama had personality?"

"I'm gonna be the biggest personality on TD! Bigger than Chris, bigger than Heather, bigger than you, even!"

"No one has a bigger personality than Leshawna! I'm comin' over there!"

Leshawna steps into view, and the two start slap-fighting.

* * *

**(Audition Tape #3 - Rodney.)**

A boy no older than nine is sitting on a school's lunch bench, looking shy. He runs a hand through his brown hair, and tries to straighten out his school uniform.

"Okay, Rodney, we're ready," a teenaged girl's voice could be heard.

Encouraging words from other teenagers could be heard, and the young boy scratched the back of his head.

"All right. I... um," the boy stammered, "I am Rodney. I'm nine years old, and I'm a junior in high school. My mother calls me a prodigy child, but I just like to think of myself as just another student."

The teenagers, off-camera, all coo and say things like, "You're so cute," "So modest," and "Keep going, Rodney!"

The young boy giggled. "Well, I really want to be on the next season of Total Drama. I know I'm little and such, but I really think I could do well. I am president of my class, I run the animé club at high school here, and..."

He pulls out a green army helmet, and knocks on it. "My mother said it would be all right to join Total Drama if I wore this, because it'll keep me safe!"

Rodney puts the army helmet on, and snaps the strap as his friends giggle. He smiles at the camera and say, "Um, so I'm Rodney, and I really, really, really want to be on your show! I want to meet Duncan and Harold and Lindsay and-"

"HEADS UP!"

A basketball comes out of nowhere and hits Rodney on the head. One of his fellow students, a young lady, hugs the child prodigy as he wobbles unsteadily and then shakes it off.

"Whoa... helmet worked like a charm," he said, beaming at the camera. "See? I can take a hit! Please have me on!"

* * *

**(Audition Tape #4 - Hannah.)**

A young lady with long, flowing blond hair looks at the camera. She strokes a golden cross around her neck, and smiles at the camera. Straightening out her white blouse and blue dress, she makes a welcoming gesture towards the camera. She is being shot in front of a Christian school while she is holding the Holy Bible in her hands.

"Hello, my name is Hannah," the girl said. "I would like to join the next season of Total Drama. I have been admiring how teenagers on the show can get along, showing that human beings deep down, no matter what type or-"

"God sucks!"

Some guy dressed up in black and with an obscene saying on his shirt appeared behind her. "You religious freaks are so preachy and stupid!"

Hannah bats her eyes, then sighs as she tries to continue. "I truly believe that I could be a positive influence on your show. I'd love to meet some people, and I would like to-"

"You are nothing more than losers," the punk continues to yell. "You don't-"

A nun comes around with a yard stick and smacks the guy on the head. He cries out and runs off. Hannah smiles and crosses her arms.

"I also raised by tough women like Sister Ocean there," Hannah said, smiling confidently. "I'm sure I can handle whatever you throw at me, and I'll extend my blessings and assistance to my fellow contestants."

The nun pats Hannah on the shoulder, and the young lady smiles appreciatively. "So please, consider me for Total Drama. Good bye, and God bless."

Rude punk peeks in to blow a raspberry at the camera, and Sister Ocean gives him a smack to the face with the yardstick. Hannah cannot help but giggle as he runs away yelping.

* * *

**(Audition Tape #5 - Alfred.)**

The camera is filming the inside of a house, being bounced around as the wielding roams around the house. Loud music is coming from a room, and the camera holder heads towards it. Opening the door that the music comes from, the person calls out, "Alfred?"

A young man slides into view, and he obviously has no idea he's being filmed. He's lip-syncing with his eyes shut, dancing to the music. He's dressed in boxers and a loose-fitting t-shirt.

Doing a couple flips and spins, he continues to dance to the music. When he opens his eyes briefly, he sees that he is being filmed and freezes. After a couple seconds, he goes right back to dancing and lip-syncing again.

(_Static cut._)

"So what's this all about, sis?" the boy asks, putting a blue cap on his unruly red hair.

"Alfred, I'm trying to get you on my favorite show, Total Drama Island!"

"That one of those reality TV shows?" he asked, blinking his light blue eyes a great many times.

"Yeah, but this one's different." Alfred pulled at his red jacket, his hands clad in blue gloves. "Um, c'mon, Lucy."

"But you're perfect! You can do all kinds of stunts, like when you jumped from the second floor onto the trampoline! Or you kissed the head cheerleader on a dare!"

He twiddles his thumbs and bobbed his head, contemplating.

"Alfred, you're the most gonzo person ever! Please oh please oh please!"

The teenaged boy smiled and looked up at the ceiling. "Oh okay. I'll do it, because I know you'll want me to shout out to your friends."

"Yay!"

"Now if you'll excuse me," he said, leaping to his feet, "I'm gonna go see if I can make it to the top of the neighborhood fountain again, and make a bigger splash when I jump off!"

* * *

**(Audition Tape #6 - Mandy.)**

The room is badly lit, since only candles (all blue flame) light it up. There is a pentagram drawn in red paint on the ground, and hanging on the wall is a poster of an unsightly monster with many tentacles and gargoyle wings.

Sitting in front of the pentagram is a short girl with platinum-dyed hair, tied up in a terra twist. She looks up, and her bright red eyes sparkle with impish mischief.

"Hello, mortals," she says. She props her knee up, her legs clad in aoi cache pants. Pulling on her gloves with frayed edges, she grins at the camera.

"Look upon my face, for I am going to be on your show no matter what.

"I am Mandy," she states as she stands up, crossing her arms under her ample breasts. "As you can see, I am a mistress of the arcane, a servant to the dark gods that you would be too terrified to mention by name."

She plays around with her skull-studded choker, her black skull earrings, and brushes her black star tattoo on his right arm. "See these? They are my little trinkets. Made 'em myself, not the tattoo, but the other things, I'm good at crafts. I'm also good at..."

The strange girl pulls out a sacrificial dagger from a small scabbard, and twirls it in her hand. "... Rituals.

"It is no different than your contest. The weak shall be my offerings to the Great Old Gods, like C'thulhu up on the wall."

"So have me, Mandy the Loyal One, and I won't do this..."

She reveals a little voodoo doll that looks a little like Chris Maclean, tapping its hair with the dagger. "I'll cut his hair off on this here doll, and it'll fall off in real life.

"Don't think I won't do it. This competition... is mine."

* * *

**(Audition Tape #7 - Colin.)**

A camera is being held up by a very short being. The guy standing in front is wearing a sleeveless gray shirt that's wrinkled and torn, and he is fiddling with his spiked bracelets.

"Got that camera running, twerp?" the teenaged punk asked as he licks his fingers and slicks up the spikes on his head.

"Y-y-yes..."

"Good. Keep it running if you know what's good for you.

"Hello, Total Drama. My name is Colin," he said, tracing a small scar under his right eye. "I'm the toughest guy in my neighborhood, much tougher than those wimps you have on the show.

"So have me. I have the skills, strength, and the ability to dominate this show. And... hey!"

Colin stops and grabs a passing, six year old kid by his shirt collar. "Don't you owe me your lunch money this time, kid?"

"N-n-n-no-"

"Don't lie to me! You want to taste death? So... hey!"

He turns back to the camera. "Don't film this, or I'll beat you too! Hey! Careful with that camera! HEY!"

There is a clatter as the camera drops. The two six year olds run for their lives, with Colin (much slower) chasing after them, shouting, "You broke my camera! You little twerps! If I don't get on that show, I'm gonna get you so bad!"

* * *

**(Audition Tape #8 - Sandra.)**

In the hallway of a high school, a young lady has her back to the camera as she fiddles with her locker. She fiddles with her red hair, which is done up in a short ponytail, before turning around.

"Oh hi," she says as she leans against the lockers, posing sexily. She's wearing a bubble-spotted tank top and hot red pants. "My name is Sandra."

She blows a bubble from her gum, and snaps it loudly. "I'm, like, the _most_ popular girl in school. I am ahead in all the fashions, slang, and trends.

"There's, like, no one who could be better than me in that. So, like, you should have me on your show."

She pops another bubble. She fiddles with her golden bracelets as she continues to speak. "So, like, I will crush the opposition. Speaking of crushing..."

The redhead pulls out a cell phone and starts texting. "I'm, like, texting several dozen people that Sherry likes Brock, and he's the smelliest kid in school.

"People believe me, because I'm the most popular girl. So try me, I promise I won't, like," she snaps her gum a third time, "disappoint."

Sandra snaps her gum one more time, and the gum sticks all over her face. She groans and starts to peel it off.

* * *

**(Audition Tape #9 - Yoshi.)**

Oriental music plays as the camera pans around a dojo. A Japanese teenager stands in the middle of the room, completely still. His hair, long and done in a topknot, whispers from a slight breeze.

With a sharp cry, he pulls out a katana blade from its scabbard, slicing a carpet tube in the middle. As the halves down to the ground, the young man looks over at the camera.

"Hello, Total Drama and its associates. I am Yoshi." His red vest exposes his chest, as he takes deep breaths. He also wears a Samurai-like kilt, and laced-up sandals. Turning completely towards the camera, he clicks his tongue.

"I am a warrior, and I will conquer your show. I am trained my whole life to find a real challenge, some real rivals. No one offers that anymore.

"But I have seen your meddle on the show, I have seen the competitors. And I am impressed. Bring me on, and I'll be sure to truly challenge them.

"Besides, I have a katana blade! Isn't that awesome enough?"

He turns the sword around, and, with one hand around the edge of the scabbard, he sheathes it...

...then he screams in pain as he waves around the hand that he had on the scabbard.

"Wow, that hurt, that was a deep cut!!" he shouted; and then he winked and started laughing. "Hehehe. Kidding."

He shows his hand to the camera, and blood drips from a real wound.

"Oh... I really cut myself. Hmmm."

Sighing in disappointment, he walks off, looking annoyed.

* * *

**(Audition Tape #10 - Crystal.)**

A young girl sits in her room, brushing away her golden bangs. She straightens out the cravat, and crosses her legs.

"Hello, gentlemen," she says, a British accent to her voice, "my name is Crystal. I am a romantic, and I love how your show has brought together so many couples.

"Leshawna and Harold, Duncan and Courtney, Gwen and Trent... and more!"

She swoons and clasps her hands. As she throws her head back and sighs blissfully, she loses her balance and falls off her chair.

"Oh bloody heck," she mutters as she pulls herself back up. "Anyway, I know you probably don't think I could be that interesting, and to tell the truth, I wasn't sure I wanted to join. But I have vowed to assist love in my career, as a marriage consoler or a matchmaker.

"So in the next season of Total Drama, I can help create more couples! I could even help those of TD still not paired up!

"Have me, Crystal, on your show, and I'll give you a corking good run for your money, because we all know the love between two souls is what really gets the show going!"

She swoons again, pitches her head back, and falls down again. Pulling herself up, she chuckles and scratches the back of her neck, blushing slightly.

"Ta-ta for now then, chaps. Keep your spirits up."

* * *

Chris Maclean grinned and looked over at the twenty-two campers. "Well, what do you think?"

Silence. Crickets chirped. Eyes blinked. Owen chewed on a raspberry donut and swallowed it.

"Are you insane? Are you trying to start a war?"

Courtney was the first person to speak. "Besides Joel, you got us..."

She began to list on her fingers. "A prima donna actress, a child, a religious girl, a cultist girl, a gonzo daredevil, a bully, a popular air head, a samurai nut, and a romantic."

"Do I pick 'em well or what?" the host said, grinning. "And that's only ten of them! You should see some of the other people we picked, they're _really_ weird!"

"Weirder than them?" Heather declared. "Did you _see_ that cultist girl? I think she has Izzy beat in craziness!"

Izzy shook her head. "Nah, she looks fine."

"I'm more worried about that guy threatening the kids," Harold said, tapping his glasses. "I mean, you actually chose someone who was bullying children?"

"Yeah, isn't it great?" Chris said, laughing. "You guys so have your work cut out for you!"

Eva scoffed. "I'd like to take on that samurai kid."

Leshawna groaned. "Oh God, you accepted Jasmine. Man, she'll talk about nothing but this for the six months I get off."

Ezekiel leaned back in his chair. "Well, there is one thing I'd love to say to all 'oor new contestants, the new challenges, and the long season ahead of us."

Bridgette looked over at him. "What's that?"

"Bring it on, eh."

"Wooooohoooooo," Owen bellowed. "It is gonna be awesome!"

"This is not gonna be easy for me," Lindsay whimpered. "So many more names... how am I going to keep up with it all? Oh... I might even forget my name! Lin... Lin... Len...

"Lindsay," Tyler told her.

"Lindsay, that's it! Okay, I think I'll be all right."

* * *

**The End.**

* * *

--

--

--

So those are some of the weird peeps I'm bringing in next season! Weird enough? I'm bringing a lot more villains into the net season (and as a fun fact, the freaky cultist girl is not a villain).

There you have it. Total Drama Comeback is done. After fifty-three chapters and over forty hundred thousand words (woohoo!), I have finally finished the story. It's taken a lot of time and effort, but I think it was well worth it.

Izzy and Bridgette have won, and though many of you may have wanted Ezekiel to win (I wanted him to too, but you cannot win them all), that's the way the story rolled. I planned every contest, and who would be voted off next, so it wasn't just me voting off characters from least favorite to most (if it had been, there's no way Geoff and Lindsay would have been voted off so soon).

The reason why I had the main two characters as Ezekiel and Bridgette was that the story mostly focuses around the two, their friends, and their experiences. I'm now changing it to Ezekiel and Izzy to match the summary I have, and because, I must admit, it does circle around those two AND Bridgette, but Izzy is the Humor, and Ezekiel is the Drama.

Now, I'd like to thank all of my readers, especially those that have been reading the whole way through as it progressed; I also thank anyone who just read through all fifty-three chapters, especially if you did it in _one go_! My goodness, that'd be an impressive feat.

As I was saying, you guys are the reason I continued. Fellow Total Drama fans, you are awesome. Your feedback, suggestions, comments, even your complaints and criticisms were helpful. May you continue to write, as I will too; I'm gonna be doing some side projects here on Fanfiction Net, as well as a few other things.

Most of all, I want to thank Winter-Rae. You're the best, the absolute best, and I'm so glad I started this story, because I never would have met you otherwise.

Keep on rocking, writing, and reading, fellow TDI fans!


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